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suddenlytrp Archive

View 0 posts and 139 comments by suddenlytrp on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Communication can be non-verbal, and with women, is more effective. Hey, sorry for the late reply due to vacation. Thanks for this tip. Even though I've actually seen and used it, I didn't look at it as non-verbal communication of the same issue I may have communicated about verbally. I honestly operate by putting those things out there as soon as they happen. This means for me I tend to verbalize those issues. "Hey, I don't appreciate when you do suchandsuch." I set the boundaries early. I've n…
/r/TheRedPill29/12/15 01:07 PM
3

Missed this reply because of vacation but wanted to say, I understand what you're saying, very much so. My failing is I DO engage, too often. I'm still learning the STFU mode of operation. Verbalizing boundaries is much different than arguing, and I should just let it go.
/r/TheRedPill29/12/15 12:53 PM
6

My father gave me the same advice (3 sisters, 2 daughters and my Mom.) That being said, he got run over quite a bit. As my role model growing up, that very much affected me to the point, years later, I realized he was my issue with what I had become when reading No More Mr. Nice Guy. I don't enjoy arguing with women, but I will very much defend myself, my actions and verbalize boundaries and issues that need to be addressed. I don't remember a time when my father really ever did that.
/r/TheRedPill18/12/15 10:02 PM
1

I disagree completely. This breaks down in both the NMMNG and WISNIFG books. You set boundaries, and you communicate your needs. You let her know when she violates those, which includes saying, "that was wrong." Not letting her know she was wrong only enforces or continues to allow the bad behavior.
/r/TheRedPill18/12/15 09:58 PM
1

I also want her to understand that my drive is high all day (especially porn/fapping free) and sex needs to happen often - as long as my SMV and owning my shit are in order. You haven't told her that, and the comment on getting shut down last night leads me to believe you are expecting it. It's a borderline covert contract you're playing there. Be direct and tell her what you want. More so, game her more throughout the day. Trust me, I'm a huge failure at that and it has been my mission to up my…
/r/askMRP16/12/15 02:31 PM
1

Dude .... where were you and this comment when I was 30. Fuck. This is 100% solid advice that I unfortunately learned the hard way.
/r/askMRP16/12/15 01:20 PM
1

Thanks, man. I'm in great company here. I've learned so much and I truly am glad to have stumbled into MRP.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/15 07:12 PM
1

So to ask the follow on question, how do you nip this in the bud from the beginning. I think you nailed what this is really about, the "going out" part. But how can you steer this correctly when in conversation?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/15 03:04 PM
3

My SO is unhappy with me, but maybe not so strangely though, my SO is also following my lead, indirectly, of getting our house cleaned and decluttered. SO wants stoic leadership and the Oak. The exact same thing is happening with mine. A little bit of push back and general grumbling, but she's looking at me to lead more often.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/15 08:52 PM
1

I tend to go with either playfully joking with sexual undertones, or serious, still with sexual undertones. Mostly just sexual undertones. Mostly. Gaming 24/7 because sometimes it takes 23.5 of that just to get her thinking about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/15 03:13 PM
7

That was certainly the biggest hurdle for me and one I'm still internalizing. My reflex is to try to help. To try to appease. To try to, "make her happy." What I didn't understand for years, and throughout multiple relationships is that none of that led to ME being happy. More than anything else, it was the issue that led me to serial relationship difficulties. Countering the reflex, maintaining frame, and understanding what they really want from you is the key that unlocks the door.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/15 03:10 PM
1

Great question, to be honest I still struggle with it a bit. My SO bruises very easily on her legs and somewhat so on her arms. I've just tried to be at least somewhat gentle with her in bed for either of those. I've been applying SGM a little, so I do some wrist holding and whatnot, none of those seem to cause any issue. She knows I wouldn't try to hurt or bruise her, and while that may place me in a bit of a beta standpoint, it's better than her being bruised up and angry, which could lead to …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/15 05:36 PM
2

I felt like his descriptions of why we become the Nice Guys and the family dynamics that cause it were so far from where I was growing up I wondered why I was even reading it, even though I KNOW I had symptoms of being too nice. And sure enough when I got to that part of the book, things clicked in a big way. I think you hit it well here, all of the sidebar contains great information. It may not apply -exactly- to each of us, but it is very good information to have, despite that.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/15 08:49 PM
1

She has always had this thing about how she bruises easy. My SO does as well, moreso than anyone I've ever met. She also complains of hip soreness, back soreness, shoulder soreness, stomach issues, cramping, the list goes on and on. They frequently come up as LMR's for me. They previously were sometimes even preemptive strikes ("I'm sore today, I hope you aren't expecting anything.") I can tell you straight up, when she's in the mood, none of that shit matters, and I expect it is the same with y…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/15 07:57 PM
1

Number 2 has been key for me, but I admit number 1 still causes me hesitation. By you just mentioning this I realize I'm worried about what my SO would think, and thus still sitting within her frame partly. It's small comments like that that really make me glad I read this subreddit. Thanks, Tim.
/r/askMRP01/12/15 06:11 PM
2

Excellent tips for all of this. And yep, it's the versatility of the phrase that gets me.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/15 02:04 PM
1

Good tip on the low self-esteem angle and how that comes in to play. Thanks man.
/r/askMRP30/11/15 03:39 PM
0

Sounds like you have your head in the right place and you're doing great. And a pretty awesome weekend to cap the turnaround you've seen. Just be on point and continue your new path. It doesn't let up from their side, but it does get easier on yours. Consider someone who never ran having to learn to run marathons. After the huge work for the first race, subsequent races are easier, as long as you keep training. As for myself, I struggle with the, "I love you," comfort test a lot. My auto-respons…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/15 01:42 PM
1

I think you know what you want and where to go on the boob job thing. Just be wary, and if needed, supportive of what your wife wants. She should be swinging around to more attraction to you though. If not, and if you've made those significant changes, warning bells would be going off in my head, not sure about yours. Reddit would probably say do a bulk cycle, follow with a cut cycle. If you don't mind waiting it out though, keep doing what you're doing. If anything, add exercises to target your…
/r/askMRP21/11/15 07:38 PM
1

FWIW, the boob job thing NEVER works in your favor. Love your wife (or don't) for who she is. Increase your SMV and she will either come around, or not. The other things you write here tell me she doesn't see your SMV the way you do. But for god sakes, don't increase HER SMV and think you're going to be the winner. Anecdotally I have over a half dozen friends who've paid for boob jobs for their former wives. Let that sink in. Money blown by you, and she's off blowing someone else with your effor…
/r/askMRP20/11/15 11:05 PM
1

Have you initiated at all? What happens when you do? I wondered the same thing. I coudn't gather if he initiated and was shut down or if he was expecting her to jump on him over the course of the week. To OP: initiate. Tell and show her what you want. Walk in the door with her and without talking, kiss her and lead her to the bedroom. She knows what's up and what's going to happen from that point. Be manly and dominating for her, and ease up a bit on the loving/feeling side of yourself during th…
/r/askMRP20/11/15 02:41 PM
2

I'll second the comment on weight falling off. Men have a huge advantage when dieting. Add in some weight training and it's really easy, IF you stick to it. You've gotta for any of this to work. Remember, it's not about the daily battles, it'a about the war. Cut back on calories you take in. You'll get more specific on a diet once you get into it. Cut back the easy stuff, sensible breakfast, waaaay back on alcohol, deserts and high calorie snacks. Seriously, just being a 5' 10" guy means you'll …
/r/askMRP20/11/15 12:01 AM
1

Your going to get some responses along the lines of, "catch up and read the sidebar." But to your question, you tell her what you want, and if she declines, you move on with your day. You don't fawn over her, praise her with, "I love you," or anything similar. Showing that it bothers you gives her the understanding that she played her poker bet and won the hand. She'll play those chips again if you show that it works on you. Remember, her rewards from the game are your emotional time and availab…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/15 12:30 AM
2

Good write up and reminder, I fail at this a lot. I do catch myself carefully phrasing how I complement my SO (ex. "I like the way that looks on you," instead of, "that looks good on you."), but fail when she complements me in how I respond. Framing is everything, I'll add this to my mental checks during conversations going forward.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/15 12:21 AM
2

Sorry for the late reply, I agree completely that the percentage of failures for work hookups is very high. A dangerous game to play, for sure.
/r/askTRP11/11/15 05:49 PM
1

Don't shit where You eat PERIOD You have been warned, so do as you please but be prepared to face all the consequences. Done it, many times. There is a method to the madness. Yes there are risks, it's not as easy as DO or DO NOT though. Fun game to play, ask 10 of your married coworkers where they met their spouse. A good percentage of them will say, "at work at my last job," or, "in my XYZ group," or, "we were friends," etc. It happens. The thing here is that unless you go OUTSIDE work, your fr…
/r/askTRP05/11/15 09:14 PM
1

The ability to force myself out to see people, stop putting things off. For what it's worth, this part gets easier with time. The more you go out, the more people you meet, and the more conversations you have that lead to loose friendships, hanging out, and eventually people within your close friendship circle. As mentioned in lots of PUA guides, make a game out of it. "Say hello to 5 people today." "Talk about subject X with three people." "Get one phone number." You can't look at the game as t…
/r/askTRP05/11/15 08:52 PM
2

You can't fix a deadbeat. Whether you do or don't acutally want an RP kind of guy, your old SO will probably never be anywhere near the person you were looking for. Most of us are here because we too didn't see the issues as they were. Many of us are here to minimize that issue for the future.
/r/askTRP04/11/15 06:37 PM
6

Don't take it as a direct attack per se. Part of the RP mindset is that we all have the ability to solve these problems ourselves by following the role we should have been in all along. That doesn't mean you can change the other person 100%. It means it may have been better, or not, but if you can recognize the problems you might have been able to work through them differently. A lot of the sidebar reading (books especially) may actually help you as well, especially in knowing how to talk to you…
/r/askTRP04/11/15 06:31 PM
3

Others here are saying it but you've reached the end of monk mode. It is time for goal setting and action. Just to highlight some things though: There is no magic time or revelation that you need to have. This is a new WAY OF LIFE. You know now that it's YOU that control your path, in your career, your sexual escapades, your relationships with others, and most importantly, your happiness. It's all you. Don't complain here that you just don't have the excitement or passion, fucking find the thing…
/r/askTRP04/11/15 05:41 PM
2

I would argue it's also key in bed, whether spoken or not. Sure you can rail away, bust a nut and be done, but I enjoy the hell out of getting my SO off, and taking keys from what she says and does is key. I'm sure /u/alpha_as_wolf meant that being okay, and was referring more to the sexual therapist style conversations. I think anyway?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/15 03:20 PM
1

Completely honest answer here based on your ages ... he may just have other issues and the net effect is erectile dysfunction. And to be honest, it's not all that uncommon. If you can, talk to him about it. There are a ton of remedies for that. I have problems in the opposite direction of that, but even my partner has her own issues, as have others I've dated over 40. Talking about sex and about working with the issues actually builds trust and understanding with your partner if you do it right.…
/r/askTRP03/11/15 12:44 PM
2

I feel as though I'm too nice as well, however I think there's a limit before you become too ruthless, and it's difficult to judge yourself because you feel it's justified. I know I was an overly nice BP not that long ago, though technically it's been two years since I decided I really wanted to change myself. A lot has happened, but I still have two friends who have distanced themselves from me. I wonder sometimes if it is because they wanted to do that, or if they got pressure from the women t…
/r/askTRP02/11/15 08:39 PM
1

The main problem I'm having is that It's getting difficult to lift more weight, but I don't feel it's really all that much. Bulk cycles are hard for most guys in that position. Hell I only wish that was my problem. But if your budget is tight for diet, you'll sadly have to do what you can until your situation changes. It sounds like you are still making gains, you would know if you're dropping sets or having to stop early. Keep those other choices in mind though to at least look at for some futu…
/r/askTRP02/11/15 08:35 PM
2

I've had, or tried to have conversations with a few male friends and coworkers about RP subjects or my new mindset. It's never gone over well. I've had exactly one person respond to it in a positive way, he's married and just picked up one of the sidebar books. But the BP blood runs strong, and seems to REALLY anger the white knights among us. I've truly had to distance myself from a few old friends, and while that may seem sad, I didn't do this for them, I did this for me. I 100% needed to swal…
/r/askTRP02/11/15 08:00 PM
3

From a female friend and two family friends who have known me as I've changed I've gotten, "you've changed a lot, in some ways for the worse," and, "you're a lot more of an asshole now." I ignore them. You should do the same for the comments you are getting. Feel free to turn off asshole mode to your friends, but if these aren't people who give you raises, companionship, or their time, why worry about it. NMMNG and WISNIFG cover some of this. You aren't thinking of just yourself, you've reframed…
/r/askTRP02/11/15 07:31 PM
1

Yeah it sounds like if you can't steer him that direction and he continues to have issues with it mentally you're going to have to have a heart to heart talk, or just move on. As much as it may pain him, sometimes people need that tough love advice. Then again, I'm mid 40's. Having conversations about sexual issues seems to be a hell of a lot more common. Your bodies don't work like they are 20 forever.
/r/askTRP02/11/15 07:24 PM
2

To add to what /u/RPFreebase said, some considerations to move on to ... Wendler 5/3/1 BBB Madcow Texas Method Grayskull Linear Progression Coolcicada's PPL You should really know or start seeing what you want to do or what you are missing after a year on ICF. Are you bodybuilding/strength training/powerlifting? Are you failing or sticking because of lagging behind in some area? If you are still making progress, by all means, keep at your current program.
/r/askTRP02/11/15 07:14 PM
1

Should I try again to take some control? When it was new and I tried he would tell me no and that he was in charge. Enough of that and I gave up. Does he need to have that struggle maybe? ( its play not serious) It wouldn't hurt, if you need to, introduce it as some role playing. "Tonight I pamper you," or, "tonight you're my slave, tomorrow you can be mine." Then proceed with whatever you plan. Your goal is taking his mind of the performance and thinking about himself, and focusing on thinking …
/r/askTRP02/11/15 04:53 PM
1

I had this issue. I dropped porn and seriously cut back on masturbation. When I do masturbate I use lube and a very loose grip, i.e. simulating real sex, not just me getting myself off. There is also the mental pressure to perform that adds to the problem, and having a partner that will work through your issues with you helps a ton. Different positions also help, surprisingly well.
/r/TheRedPill02/11/15 03:11 PM
2

He's not insecure about his dick. He's insecure with himself and projecting it through his dick. Very well said. It usually stems from something else. Someone with a micropenis could mope and complain. Someone average probably has something else going on they are really complaining about. The lack of being able to get it up is a key. Experiment with varied sex and positions. Talk dirty to him. Tell him how badly you want his cock and sex beforehand, and be sure and tell him you love his cock dur…
/r/askTRP02/11/15 02:26 PM
1

Oh, sorry. Yep, it would be entirely better, but then again, maybe your LTR didn't know of that method?
/r/askTRP27/10/15 08:50 PM
1

For what it's worth, also former military, also IT at the time. You'll get that a lot, different commands, the same issue. And here is the kicker, it gets worse as a civilian. You will always have leadership that doesn't want to fund the IT budget, or pay to fix the actual problems. As you progress to higher level positions, it will become more and more of your job to sell that budget or big spend item to leadership. Also note that as a civilian, you don't have the rank allowing leadership to lo…
/r/ThankTRP27/10/15 04:08 PM
1

she might be capable of over-powering a better man (defined by Tinglestm) Tingles: One they're popped, they can't stop.
/r/askTRP27/10/15 12:29 PM
1

Considering someone that really wanted to know could find out anyway, yep. It's kind of depressing when you think about it. Everyone knows there is a possibility you can get caught when cheating. But it still happens. Sex/tingles do powerful things to people's brains.
/r/askTRP27/10/15 12:25 PM
1

You can indeed just delete single people from the facebook history on an iPhone. The method is search, "edit" under recent searches, then the "x" mark beside the ones you want to delete. As for tips on the nuclear option, I really don't recommend going down this path unless you're in it to validate the end of it. Legal issues aside, here you go, this guy reviews the products in question for mobile devices. For laptops there are different methods.: http://acisni.com/
/r/askTRP26/10/15 09:34 PM
1

From group conversations, not sure, but yes you can remove contacts and individual text conversations, no problem at all. The same on Android. You can also clear individual phone call records. More common is hiding their intent by renaming a contact. That would still allow them easy access to text or call someone, without having to delete them from the phone each time. EDIT: I'll add that there are other methods to snoop on your LTR or spouse. They vary in legality, even if billing and whatnot i…
/r/askTRP26/10/15 07:09 PM
1

But awalt so you should always check. Even if you 100% trust them. Knowledge is power. Agreed, "trust but verify." Covertly. As soon as she knows you check up on her the game is up and you've either lost frame/smv and made the situation worse, or you've forced your hand to confront her and most likely exit the scene. If you like her as an LTR, and I'm assuming you do, remember the abundant mentality mindset and work on yourself much more than fret and worry about what she's doing otherwise. Reme…
/r/askTRP26/10/15 06:50 PM
2

In an LTR and didn't handle the same situation well. Use my advice for whatever it is worth. Understand that yes, AWALT, but also yes, women get hit on a lot. They may or may not control the situation or perhaps even just want someone to flirt with them and admire them (orbiters.) Just don't snoop and get caught until you know for damned sure it's over and you are confronting her. The loss of frame for doing something to control her access or jealous conversations about friends/coworkers/admirer…
/r/askTRP26/10/15 06:44 PM
1

Like others mentioned, you need to get out and get away from that scene and deal with it by minimizing the affect he can have on you. He may be a friend and roommate, but you need to control your life and learn to let his influence roll off your back. Also for what it's worth, try not to take on the task of changing his mind about anything TRP related unless he specifically asks about something you do. You can get dragged down with the negativity of some people who push back against TRP life cha…
/r/askTRP14/10/15 03:37 PM
3

Leave him be. If you want, offer him a beer and tell him no hard feelings, but you don't want to apologize for saying something about his girlfriends ex, that's just stupid. Tell him you respect him, not the ex. Tell him he should feel the same way, and move on. As a former fraternity guy, don't take those lessons so hard. You WILL drift away from some of your bros over time. It's inevitable. Stay true to the ones deserving of your friendship, and let the others hover or drift where they may be.…
/r/askTRP12/10/15 01:47 AM
1

Regardless of anything else said here, you sound unhappy with yourself. The answer for you is why are you that way, and how to correct that. I honestly don't think an HB9 and a different job are the answers. Self reflect, meditate, learn to be happy with YOU. You'll never be happy with anything else if you don't get that part right from the start. /u/penguin_says_slide was hinting at that, but I think he's on to the key. You don't have to be a lost soul beta buck to be happy. You can be a happy …
/r/askTRP12/10/15 01:26 AM
1

Great info, thanks for this!
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/15 12:04 PM
1

DEVI waves Care to elaborate a little? I don't know what that is.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/15 02:18 PM
1

Posted here elsewhere but this is the info on the one I use: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3kwctr/whats_the_best_response_when_you_are_being/cv1ig48
/r/askTRP15/09/15 11:47 AM
1

There's atm absolutely no chance I will go and talk to strangers Why? There is not commitment for you to friend them, ask them out, or anything. It's working on approach anxiety only, something which sounds like you may have issues with? Say hello to a new person at work and ask them how their weekend was. When out, have a one sentence conversation with someone new, for example a person shopping in a store. "Hey, how are you, man this heat is crazy, right?"
/r/askTRP14/09/15 08:17 PM
2

De rien.
/r/askTRP14/09/15 08:10 PM
4

My Cycles app on Android. After you load it, immediately disable notifications for everything but "before period." I tend to prefer 3 days on that. To use it, just hit the circle on the start screen, select the day she starts, click on one of the flows (which sets it as having started) and that's about it. No real need to track the moods/flow or any extra shit. You're just wanting a heads-up on when she is due.
/r/askTRP14/09/15 08:05 PM
3

I've also incorporated mobility work from Kelly Starrett. http://mobilitywod.com[2] . This work has helped my lifts, particularly squats. Thanks for this link, we all need to learn or improve daily, you just gave me some work that will help me along with lifting.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/15 07:05 PM
2

I have/had big legs for my size. Trust me, squats are still worth it. It will amp up your progress in a huge way with the increased heavy lifting, extra T, and core strength. If you ask me, every one of the big 5 lifts are non-negotiable (squat, deadlift, bent over row, shoulder press, bench press.) They are all also touched on in Stronglifts, ICF, Starting Strength, etc. Stick with them, they give great results and an amazing change in your body appearance and strength. They are all also doable…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/15 06:58 PM
1

I kind of hid mine in my apps area. It is strange, but honestly is a great tool in the tool shed. You KNOW when it's due, and when she may have triggers for things or mood swings. I guess if you've always dated women with a low propensity for those mood swings, it wouldn't be a big deal to even have an app for it. Although not 100% accurate, they are self correcting as long as your partner lets you know when she starts her period. Also for what it's worth my SO doesn't know I track her.
/r/askTRP14/09/15 05:23 PM
2

I agree but bipolar would be very much of a 9/10 depression and 1/10 manic, hopefully OP would have spotted that a long time ago. This sounds more of a PMS style of moodiness. But certainly it could point to other mental issues.
/r/askTRP14/09/15 03:52 PM
2

Same. I use an app for it. It certainly helps avoidance of most of the issues, I know when to expect them.
/r/askTRP14/09/15 03:49 PM
1

I've found this really depends on the woman. Some rebel against having a lack of choice at all. Some just want some say in decision making. For certain things, that cannot be avoided. For others, I give more of an illusion of control instead of control. By that I mean I'll pre-pick 1-3 options, then offer those to her for the final say. I'm don't do that to demean her ability to choose, but as others have said here, many just freeze up and can't make the actual decision when given full control.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/15 06:32 PM
1

I would recommend checking out some general wall art searches off Etsy. Ebay can work as well as craigslist. Don't fall into the trap of expensive = awesome, sometimes it most definitely is not. You can get some great deals there on stuff. As far as masculine items, I go for metallic art, landscapes or hobby interest art, masculine figurines or sculptures, and manly antiques. If you can, some drop lighting or a source of lighting to highlight things takes something from okay to great. Classy pre…
/r/TRPOffTopic09/09/15 03:39 PM
2

Great to hear. Keep in your head the abundance mentality. If some of your dates or plates don't work out, move on to the next. You'll see AWALT in action, don't let that discourage you.
/r/ThankTRP09/09/15 03:16 PM
2

Assortive mating is a thing and I am just curious as to how many of these men who get angry on the internet because they are not noticed are looking to be noticed by conventionally attractive women? I would propose this isn't just a thing with men, but very much so with women as well. I know it's anecdotal, but I've seen quite a few out of shape and not very attractive women get very upset when a hot guy isn't in to them at all. One in particular started naming things she desired from a man and …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/15 02:34 PM
1

Great advice, thanks for that. I was previously beta as fuck and swallowed the pill a couple of years ago. Monk mode and lots of personal changes later, I went through a few plates before landing in an LTR. My LTR isn't ending, but I know AWALT. I spot the shit and comfort tests that I never knew how to handle before. I've set boundaries that I would have previously rolled over and just accepted before. I try to maintain things in my frame (it's hard over a longer term.) It's hard to look at thi…
/r/TheRedPill09/09/15 12:19 PM
3

Sounds decent but what if we're texting? "I'll talk to you about this later." This does two things. One, you get that kind of shit out of texting, where it's a losers game since you have no body language reads of her, nor use of body language by you. And two, you get the hamster spinning. Up until you actually talk to her she will worry about saying that, worry about what you are going to say, and worry you may break it off (if she's concerned about that.) Your actual talk with her can follow an…
/r/askTRP09/09/15 11:46 AM
5

"your LTR will end" This hit home. I'm seeing it somewhat. Thanks for the heads up, brother. Hopefully the end or other side makes things worth it. I feel like RP is either all in or not. You can't got into a new relationship half way and expect to try to change and make it out without issue. I've prepared myself for the worst and put faith in the method. But I know from the action reports here this is inevitable.
/r/TheRedPill09/09/15 12:00 AM
5

Geez dude. Sometimes the comments get to me. Here's hoping you rebounded RP as fuck and made up for that?
/r/TheRedPill08/09/15 10:26 PM
1

They just want the issue to go away and don't want to spend days posturing about how to solve it playing power games so they are direct. I agree completely on that. So. Many. Times.
/r/TheRedPill04/09/15 01:21 PM
2

But this gave me an interesting thought: Maybe women (and therefore society) think they are better in communicating simply because they like to talk more. "Women like to teach, therefore they are better teachers." = "Women like to talk a lot, therefore they are better in communicating." Good point, and I honestly don't know. I think we would also have to factor in how women learn, study, make decisions, etc in comparison to men. I'm sure there is a lot more to it than communication, but your pos…
/r/TheRedPill03/09/15 08:14 PM
3

I feel like you are correctly pointing out some major differences, just not the conclusion. Women communicate differently than men. They don't communicate in the exact way we do, and thus when they are put up against communicating in situations where we excel, they sometimes (many times?) fail. I don't validate other males well at all and don't really try to pretend to know what to say in situations like that. Wouldn't the the flip side of your argument be that we also suck at communication if w…
/r/TheRedPill03/09/15 07:27 PM
1

Computers/servers/networking - relates to my job and past jobs and is geeky, but brings in extra cash sometimes and helpful at least. Shade tree mechanic work - I like working on my own cars. I can't do everything, but I try. It saves money and helps a ton in isolating problems that I may not be able to solve, but can (hopefully) get a true mechanic to fix at a cheaper rate since I know where to point them. Homebrewing - I can drink my hobby. I can recommend good beers, and use beer in cooking. …
/r/askTRP03/09/15 06:11 PM
2

I don't have anything better to do and the even we are going to sounds interesting, even if I don't sleep with her. I'm pretty much guaranteed to have sex on Friday with another girl anyway. Why would you need anything else but that attitude. You're miles ahead of the game. You don't need to wear a helmet with footballs on the side of it for every touchdown you got. Continue being confident and have the ability to walk away if it doesn't go your way and you'll be fine, weather they know you have…
/r/askTRP03/09/15 05:52 PM
1

But if you make a very well-thought decision and accept the risks, then is it really that bad? That's assuming I could make a well-thought decision. Heh.
/r/askTRP03/09/15 05:45 PM
2

I should have, indeed. :)
/r/askTRP03/09/15 05:18 PM
1

Not if you are doing splits (push/pull/legs, different muscle groups, etc.) Just not the same muscles every day. Technically abs don't need to be hit every day either. What's your weight training routine?
/r/askTRP03/09/15 05:17 PM
3

I wish there were more in-between discussion. Not married but moving from plating to LTR's. Then again, that seems to be well covered in /r/asktrp.
/r/askTRP03/09/15 03:48 PM
2

Former military here. I thought I knew a lot about communication when I was in. I found out I knew some basics, but lacked a lot of situational things and specifically things to work on draw and charisma.
/r/askTRP03/09/15 03:47 PM
1

I certainly wish I'd read more books like that when I was younger. They have helped a lot.
/r/askTRP03/09/15 03:26 PM
13

I'm subbed to it and feel like it's of great worth for the long game, LTR's, and marriage. Not all RP'ers are single. In fact, a ton of the bloggers on the subject are married. RP can absolutely be applied to the long game, hell it's where a ton of RPers came from (previously betas, newly divorced, trying to become the men they wish they had been.) That being said, many people desire long term relationships. I find marriage crazy but LTR's aren't outside of what I enjoy. We each have something w…
/r/askTRP03/09/15 03:24 PM
2

No worries. My personal recommendation is Stronglifts 5x5. It has it's own free app for both android and iphones. It's dead easy to follow that, and it tracks your progress and even shows you what weights to put on the bar. Dead easy. You'll get better at the actual lifts as you go, so don't worry about those as much. You may find you get a little addicted to the experience, maybe not of lifting on it's own, but the routine of going, working out, and feeling better afterward. It relieves stress …
/r/askTRP03/09/15 03:13 PM
1

Working out has helped me the most. Dressing well was a side item that came from working out (and losing weight.) I already have career confidence though, and truly that can be a factor. Do well at what you do, seek to be better rewarded for the same. And pick up an interesting hobby or two, preferably one you can do with others. Even though I'm pretty extroverted, I also picked up a ton of ebooks on better conversation, communication, influence, charisma, etc. That helped me a ton, as I felt mo…
/r/askTRP03/09/15 02:59 PM
3

You are seeking validation from her because you have a low sense of self-worth. Work on yourself and raising your SMV to the point that you no longer require a pat on the head from her to feel good about yourself. Solid advice, OP. Work on yourself. You can't get through abandonment issues if you don't value yourself or have any self-confidence. She is not your ex. You need to NOT be the guy who dated your ex. Be a better man, and your current scenario will also change for the better. And even i…
/r/askTRP03/09/15 01:58 PM
3

For what it's worth, "I love you," are words you need to take off the pedestal it sounds like you have them on. They are words, nothing more. Despite every social and relationship connotation to those words that you or your girlfriend have ever held, do not fall in to the trap of putting too much meaning on those words. In the back of your mind, remember people will still tell each other that despite cheating their asses off behind the scenes. Tell her after sex, or after something she does that…
/r/askTRP03/09/15 01:41 PM
1

Best advice I've ever read was to just get used to going to the gym. Go and work with the trainer. Once that session (or your hours with them) are up, continue to go. Spend time there. Get comfortable there. Maybe speak to and respond to others there, get even more comfortable. While you do that, start slow. Start with the basics. Those 5 lifts you have above are perfect. Start doing Stronglifts 5x5, ICF, or Starting Strength. Go slow, but build according to those routines with adding weight. At…
/r/askTRP03/09/15 01:19 PM
2

My goals have changed a number of times since finding TRP. Losing weight, joining a gym, taking care of and liking myself, projecting more confidence, more dating with women that respond to me, a stable and healthy LTR, etc. I still have other goals, but most assuredly, as I cross one off, it instills more confidence to get the others done. But a mission? I don't shoot for anything more overall than my number one goal: enjoying my life more fully. Doing these other things affect that goal, but i…
/r/askTRP03/09/15 01:12 PM
2

I've had submissive girlfriends in the past tell me because they were afraid of losing me and wanted to keep everything in the open. I have this with my current LTR. And I have to admit, I've had some issues handling it well. I'm glad OP posted this here, because I've now got some better ideas on handling this, myself. The worst one for me was when we went on an expensive date night and 3/4 of the way through the date while getting pretty tipsy from drinks she mentioned she got a text earlier fr…
/r/askTRP03/09/15 12:03 PM
2

"Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger ..."
/r/TRPOffTopic02/09/15 02:16 PM
2

I'm in the same boat. In fact, the two friends whom I thought were RP leaning that I brought up a few subjects with immediately shut me down with some BP and white knight statements, and didn't want to go further. I've learned to cope with the fact that what I learn and take away here and from the related sites, will help only me within my circle of friends, and I'll need to use those same sites for assistance and further study.
/r/askTRP01/09/15 03:12 PM
2

Reminds me of a long standing argument/discussion I have with two of my female friends who use the phrase, "all my friends are guys." I've told them both, DO NOT say that in front of men you like/want to go out with/date. It doesn't mean the same to us as it does to you. That is a huge flag.
/r/askTRP31/08/15 08:06 PM
2

DE sufferer, solid advice here. I'll add that getting more rest, drinking less and getting enough fluids are also very key. EDIT: I almost forgot, OP try another position.
/r/askTRP31/08/15 07:45 PM
2

Whenever a girl at work asks you out, you better damn well make sure you let her down as gently as possible. This can get dangerous. Multiply this x100 when it's a coworker. I've seen too many HR meetings, and I know in many cases the man may have not been as guilty as the mostly female or white knight leaning HR thought he was.
/r/askTRP31/08/15 07:36 PM
2

I agree here, but mostly because I'm older and have had enough relationships to know once they are done, they are done. Let them move on, who cares if your friends go for that. You've been there, done that, and know the shit they are in for. Hell, I may even give them tips if they ask. What we don't know from the OP is how long ago they dated, there is a period where most people DO care, so this sounds like it's still raw for the OP. Hang in there bro, and expand that social circle a bit to get …
/r/askTRP31/08/15 02:00 PM
1

Very unique perspective with you being bisexual. In fact, that's a pretty telling thing that you separate money/power from looks/physique. I would say you are very UNLIKE what a woman looks for, or at least most of the women I see at my age, post wall (30-35+.) I would think as a man seeking another man, it would be many, many times easier, but I honestly don't know. At any rate, thanks for the perspective.
/r/TheRedPill30/08/15 10:35 PM
6

SMV doesn't revolve only around looks, nor only around body type and general level of fitness. Successful and loaded trump a lot of factors, sad but true.
/r/TheRedPill28/08/15 04:44 PM
7

50% of the population has a pussy. It is not scarce. I wish this were a very large print and readable bumper sticker. I'd proudly display that everywhere.
/r/TheRedPill28/08/15 03:44 PM
8

Your story is kind of heartbreaking, but know that most of the men who sub here have read so many similar stories, it is no longer surprising. I wish you well, Matt, with your sons, finalizing the divorce, and your future. You don't have to swallow the red pill, but take care of yourself, and protect yourself if you go into marriage in the future. Once bitten, twice shy. As a side note, even if you don't subscribe to the beliefs here, there are some very good books out there you SHOULD read, inc…
/r/TheRedPill28/08/15 01:10 PM
2

I've only known one who was. And he was into the, "watching some guy do my wife in a creepy way," cuckold thing. To each their own, I guess.
/r/TheRedPill28/08/15 12:36 PM
2

There is a disconnect between RP and LTR RP ( for examples, /r/marriedredpill .) In my humble opinion, both of you are correct. 1) Don't let her control the situation. Use framing to right the ship, and talk to her about setting boundaries in a calm and cool manner. AND 2) An LTR/Spouse gets a slight, and I mean slight, variation of RP play. Comfort tests are handled somewhat differently than shit tests. Communication must take place in some form, if "nexting" isn't something completely on the t…
/r/askTRP27/08/15 06:41 PM
1

Just adding a caveat here: unless you plate one or are in an LTR with one, in which case, hello discount drinking.
/r/ThankTRP27/08/15 06:12 PM
1

I have several friends that are female, but I too keep them somewhat distant, purposefully. They are generally far more critical of me and who I date and my personal life than any of my male friends. Men understand, give great advice when prompted, and give forgiveness faster to another male than most women, period. There is a good reason to be wary. Stay strong.
/r/ThankTRP27/08/15 05:16 PM
2

You act like her brother and listen. Take her somewhere for a break. Introduce her to others. AWALT, but some need to see when they are in a bad scene. Talk her out of kids for now if the subject comes up. Never tell your sister what to do, that will backfire the majority of the time. Listen to her, encourage her when she says or does something right, and if you feel so inclined show her other options elsewhere (introduce other people to her.) This is her life to choose. I know it sucks, I have …
/r/askTRP25/08/15 08:19 PM
3

Thanks for the lovely recommendation. I agree with you. It helps retain some of the 'mystery' between you. It is actually our anniversary in a few days so I am currently thinking what to wear :-) That's a perfect opportunity. To be honest, my current SO and I stumbled into doing what I just recommended to you and it's such a great way to play traditional roles for the evening. It's not like that can't be done at any other time, but I guess it is more like taking on a role in costume. You play an…
/r/ThankTRP25/08/15 02:59 PM
1

I feel like the sitcoms have been in that mode for quite some time, but I hear you on the movies. Don't forget that 99% of the plots involve an egotistical male as the villain. I say Spy on a date recently. I think that was everything you just stated but summed up in one movie.
/r/TRPOffTopic25/08/15 01:55 PM
2

Great summary, I agree completely. Is it just me or has TRP really caused me to react more negatively to seeing these lopsided relationships being highlighted for comedy?
/r/TRPOffTopic25/08/15 01:32 PM
1

I am a loser. Zero SMV, zero actual value. I spent my whole life masturbating to porn, playing video games and wasting my time on the internet or doing meaningless shit. I am 24 and if I don't take massive action I will be living on the streets before next year. You are nowhere near being a loser. You've just seen the light behind the door and you're ready to walk through. Try being in your 40's and realizing that the failure for every relationship you've ever had is that you were a BP poster bo…
/r/ThankTRP25/08/15 01:12 PM
4

If you don't do this already can I make a recommendation? Have an occasional dressy date night with your husband. American society has fallen into a casual and comfortable fog. Like many other things in our relationships, it takes away from us doing the things men and women tend to do when we really try to impress someone of the opposite sex, playing up our gender roles through the way we dress and present ourselves. Convince your hubby to do this with you, him in a nice suit, you in a nice dres…
/r/ThankTRP25/08/15 12:46 PM
1

You did well, man. Be proud. I've orbited far too many times and it's hard as hell to do what is NOT your first thought regarding attractive women. TRP has helped me greatly, but it's surely a long journey. You took a huge step along the path.
/r/ThankTRP25/08/15 12:30 PM
3

I personally hate this one more: Jake from State Farm.
/r/TRPOffTopic25/08/15 12:26 PM
0

I was talking to the plate about random crap for no real reason (a problem of mine, if anyone can help me not need to constantly be talking to people for no reason I'd greatly appreciate it) Go for stoic. I agree with /u/Cyralea , you need to discuss inane things with your male friends, not with women. Be on your game with them, listen and use what you hear toward your advantage if you are looking to still plate the one there. Honestly though, move on to a new target group. You've fished out tha…
/r/askTRP24/08/15 06:51 PM
2

Sounds kind of like a teen thing that they would be doing that in the first place. Would I leave her? No. Would I question why I'm dating someone acting like a kid? Yes. Sexuality for everyone isn't black and white. If my GF liked it, so be it. It might be a future opportunity, or not, but you're kind of beating around the bush of, "is she cheating if it's with a woman." Yes, she is, if it escalated in any way. See 2. See 2. Not a fan. I have a standing order of long hair on women I date and ver…
/r/askTRP24/08/15 06:40 PM
2

WTF? This is really shitty of her and you should not be proud of that. She implies that it is not possible that other women find you attractive. Well..., okay, it might just be a mechanism to protect herself from her jealousy. Still, her natural reaction to this should not be to question your ability to get other girls. Late reply here but I appreciate your comment. I do know she knows I have other women who find me attractive. I also know she feels like she needs to do more for me to keep my in…
/r/TheRedPill24/08/15 10:53 AM
22

I had this advice drilled in to me just the other night by way of an example. My LTR and I go to a local bar and I proceed to order a couple of drinks while she runs to the bathroom. Literally 30 seconds after she walks away a woman spys me from across the bar and sits down beside me to start talking. I do so, and get her name and start chatting. My girlfriend wanders back over and sits beside me whereupon I introduce the other woman to her. A couple of very short conversational subjects pass an…
/r/TheRedPill18/08/15 08:46 PM
1

It was great while it lasted. She was cute, but not overly attractive. Part of me feels bad that I feel like I strung her along, but the other part of me is fine with the fact that I promised nothing and delivered nothing, and did not leave her with any forced baggage/bad experiences.
/r/askTRP18/08/15 06:11 AM
1

Say it whenever you want. Stop putting so much emphasis on this phrase. This, so much. Don't put those three words on a pedestal. Say them when you want, and understand that despite saying those three words, it does absolutely nothing to guarantee anything from either of you. For what it's worth, I have a friend who has not said, "I love you," to his LTR despite dating nearly three years and living together for two of those. I have no idea how that fucker maintains frame, but he must be godly at…
/r/askTRP17/08/15 08:11 PM
2

Back when I was too young to appreciate the awesome level of a prior orbiter I had one who would come over once a week and do my dishes and laundry and clean up my apartment. She was also like OP's orbiter, a virgin, at least from what I could gather. Sadly she eventually gave up on me and moved on. I did not participate in that, I was deathly afraid of entering the stage-5 clinger territory.
/r/askTRP17/08/15 08:02 PM
1

This is known as DE (delayed ejaculation) and isn't that uncommon, unfortunately. I have the same thing. For what it's worth, the same things that help with lack of erection worked some for me. Cutting out porn, reduction in masturbation, "simulating" sex when I do masturbate, and ensuring I fueled my body better, lifted, and got better rest. I'm in the LTR camp, but I also experimented a bit with my partner and found positions that stimulate me more where I am able to finish, nearly every time.…
/r/askTRP17/08/15 07:51 PM
1

I have a similar issue, though I would tell you the solutions are also similar. For me and for many others, this is a side effect of too much stimulation from other sources, namely porn. It's also -can- be a side effect of too much manual stimulation, or stimulation without wearing a condom. I and many others have solved this with simply reducing the use of porn and solo masturbation (notice I didn't say no-fap.) When you do masturbate, use a condom, use a personal lubricant as well. Instead of …
/r/askTRP17/08/15 07:44 PM
1

Good luck, sir. Here's hoping you come out relatively clean. We don't need more sad stories around here, ya know? Any other evidence of cheating? Any PI work?
/r/TheRedPill30/07/15 01:28 PM
1

No worries, man. I've been in your boat. I'm down 65 lbs, much more fit, and a good portion of it was due to learning how to cook more healthy meals on my own. I'm very partial to things like grilled chicken and vegetables over quinoa, homemade bean soups, homemade thai curries, etc. The key to changing your diet is picking things you like, but building them into more healthy meals that you can make batches of, then weighing and storing in individual containers for portion sizes (and freezing if…
/r/askTRP30/07/15 12:25 PM
1

There are a few subreddits that can help, along with others specific to what type of cooking you do (slowcooking, grilling, baking, etc.) https://www.reddit.com/r/EatCheapAndHealthy/ https://www.reddit.com/r/fitmeals/ If you are just trying to save some money, the following may help as well: https://www.reddit.com/r/budgetfood/ Specific to TRP though, it really depends on what your goals are. If you are trying to diet and lose weight, I would highly recommend cutting back on carbs and following …
/r/askTRP30/07/15 11:44 AM
3

That's surprising, there seemed to be a lot of atheists, or I've been told most red pillers are atheists. Not really, but you may be attributing a reddit trend to a particular subreddit. Being atheist, you actually fit that reddit mold more as a blue piller. And although anecdotal, I would wager that you would find about the same amount of religious vs non-religious across both BP and RP communities. I guess if it WERE true and provable, then would come the need to explain, "why." And I'd be pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/15 10:48 AM
1

Craft beer drinker checking in. I'm currently cutting. This is my session beer of choice, though it is expensive: Evil Twin Bikini Beer 81 calories, 2.7 % ABV
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/15 02:52 PM
1

This tends to be my method (and progression thereof.) Women respond so much better to being direct than they do to asking them if they want to do things. And not just on the topic of sex. Note, OP, I'm not inferring be forceful. But be direct.
/r/askTRP21/07/15 10:42 AM
6

The problem with being kind above all else is that it's almost a blanket statement to not be objectionable, or to be firm on your boundaries. Didn't give in when she pushed a bit at something you wanted from the relationship? Well is that being, "kind," or being a jerk? The honest truth is exactly what you stated, it's a mindset that can really lead to bad relationship dynamics. BOTH sexes should not be afraid to express what they want in a relationship. BOTH sexes should be able to set boundari…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/15 06:18 PM
1

No problem! There are plenty more materials out there, those are just some I've read.
/r/seduction17/07/15 05:11 PM
2

Those were mentioned as forms of conversation techniques, and I was paraphrasing books on the topic. For some recommendations, see the answer I gave elsewhere, here: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3dhxli/how_to_focus_attention_on_you_when_out_with_more/ct6krw0 Briefly though: Callbacks are a method to return to something your conversation partner had interest in. You use these when things slow down or go quiet. It's essentially a way to handle the awkward silence that happens in con…
/r/seduction17/07/15 02:40 PM
2

An excellent book, I should have recommended that one for sure.
/r/seduction17/07/15 02:33 PM
2

Unfortunately I've read several but don't honestly know which would be higher, "rated," so to speak. They all cover similar things, but in different ways. I would highly recommend getting the ebook versions of some of these, or browsing excerpts if you can find them somewhere. Not every book will fit your style. It's important to keep reading, and keep learning to become better. Not just for your current intended purpose but also to enjoy all that life has to offer. A sample of recent reads (I'v…
/r/seduction17/07/15 02:32 PM
17

As Rollo would say, you need to up your game. You're competing in a tough environment, and to be honest, it may be easier to fly solo to build your game a bit first. But you need to leverage better communication and engaging conversation. There are a TON of books related to increasing your draw to others in conversation, pick a few and read up. All the game info you'll want to look over: http://therationalmale.com/category/game/ Some topics you should explore for conversations would be: using co…
/r/seduction16/07/15 01:10 PM
1

I've gotten similar reactions from a couple of friends I've tried to help by telling them about TRP. It didn't go over well. The BB way is stong in its clutches. I've also had a female friend tell me I've become an asshole (though she still likes to hang out with me.) Apparently me not acting like an orbiter who would never get the time of day from her made her label change to "asshole." As with any friend though, you have to have overlapping ideals at times for a strong friendship. Friends chan…
/r/askTRP13/07/15 07:25 PM
1

In my experience, some of them don't know just how fast it comes and cling on to their routine as though they weren't well beyond their prime. I'm older. One of my good friends is 36. She still talks and looks for men as though she were pre-wall. I'm dumbfounded, but I say nothing and instead watch her go through relationships pretty regularly, thinking they will all be her knight to save her. They do not, of course. The TRP reading person in me laughs, but as someone that has been her friend fo…
/r/TheRedPill29/05/15 10:53 AM
1

Yeah someone commented above with the same opinion. Trickle truth for sure. She was already cheating in some way.
/r/TheRedPill28/05/15 10:41 AM
2

The inner game has changed for the better and I do carry myself differently now. I do seem to get more female attention now. Problem is I generally want nothing to do with them. That's me right now in a nutshell. I've lost weight, hit the gym in a big way and changed my look and my confidence has soared back with it. Post-wall women are on the hunt BIG TIME, and I've had some failures because I didn't change the inner me. I've wobbled a bit on my recent escapades and made some mistakes and falle…
/r/TheRedPill24/05/15 05:59 PM
1

Don't lurk so much...contribute after you've read enough sidebar and can relate a worthy story. Will do. So much reading to take in, not to mention a few books I now have as well. Make up for lost time my friend. I'm trying, but I still have a ways to go. I'm far along on changing the outer me, but not very far in changing the inner me if that makes sense. Thanks for the advice, man.
/r/TheRedPill24/05/15 05:19 PM
7

As you get older, the balance of power shifts and you will be able to sense it and use it to your advantage. If you take care of yourself, lift and stay in shape...and are single in your 30s and 40s? They'll be desperately seeking a man to take care of them once they've been introduced to their arch nemesis, The Wall. At that point you use them for the one thing they're good for and send them packing. Women in this age group aren't worth the hassle for more than one night of fun. One weekend at …
/r/TheRedPill24/05/15 02:06 PM
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