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sugarplumsunset Archive

View 1 post and 27 comments by sugarplumsunset on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I hate to say it, but there is a reason most of these responses are encouraging you to wait for an engagement. But ultimately you will have to decide what’s right for you and your relationship. I’m in a long term relationship currently. I have always been super open with my boyfriend that I do not want to live with a man unless I’m engaged. He understood that. He ended up buying land and building a house and asking me to move in. I brought up what I had mentioned in the past and told him I only …
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 05:48 PM
1

I can totally relate to this! My bf cannot sit still - it took some getting used to, but now I really admire his work ethic and dedication. :) He’s less of the type to bring work with him (works in construction) but spends a good portion of his free time working on things around the house. Just when I think the “work is done” he’ll find another project to work on. I’ve learned this is his way of distressing, even if it looks much different than mine. What has been really helpful for me is making…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/22 03:38 PM
6

…..and comments/advice like this is why there is so much stigma surrounding ADHD and the medications used to treat it. Seriously, blaming adderall for his behavior is such a cop out on his part and your parents
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/22 02:01 PM
1

Let me just say, I completely understand what you’re going through as I can act this way myself. First thing I’d ask is if you have any history of mental illness? I commented in another reply that I have ADHD and it can cause me to respond like this. But really depression, anxiety, mood disorders like bipolar, or as another comment suggested, PMDD could all be linked to this sort of response. If you aren’t diagnosed with anything, but find you can relate to some of the other symptoms of these, I…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/22 01:39 PM
2

I agree it would be helpful to discuss with a friend. The only thing I’d add is to be mindful about the details that you are sharing with people outside of your marriage. Especially if the source of your frustration is your husband, you don’t want to paint him in a negative light or have friends become overly involved in your business. PMDD is a really good point too!
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/22 01:24 PM
1

I was going to ask this same question. I’ve shared on here before that I have ADHD, and even that can translate into this type of response when I am overwhelmed or overstimulated.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/22 01:20 PM
4

This is definitely abusive behavior. Even if you’re in a traditional relationship with clear gender roles, that does not give him a hall pass to verbally berate you.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/22 01:13 PM
2

Any time I’ve questioned if I was “settling” when dating a guy, the relationship did not last. My initial thought is that if you’ve only been with him for 6 months and you’re already having these thoughts, you should end things before you both get more attached. You’re just wasting his time and your own. At 22, you do still have options and time. But you will have to live with the possibility that he is the “one that got away” if you do break up, and consider how it would feel to see him lose a …
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 10:56 PM
2

Thanks for this recommendation! I have an appointment scheduled with my Dr/OBGYN and plan to bring it up then
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 10:11 PM
2

Thank you for these recommendations! I really think getting back into a normal workout routine will be good for me in more ways than one, so I am planning to prioritize that
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 10:10 PM
1

Thank you for this reminder and that meme which is extremely relatable lol
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 10:08 PM
1

Thank you for responding! I actually have an appointment with my dr. scheduled for a physical so I plan to bring it up then - which is the only reason I was looking for other advice too :) hoping that will rule out any hormonal issues I’ll look into your recommendation!
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 10:08 PM
1

Thank you for responding - I agree after reading through the responses here I’m realizing I may have set an unrealistic expectation for myself. Simply due to comparison and what I read about others doing. I’m the same way in that I normally end up enjoying having sex once it’s happening, it’s just hard for me to get there or be the one who initiates it. I like the idea of reading a book or watching something more sensual… I have tried reading erotica in the past and it did help get me feeling in…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 03:04 PM
2

Yup you’re right and I definitely need to stop comparing myself, to people I don’t know on the internet and to be honest sometimes even my own friends and their relationships. I still plan to check in with him and see how he feels with our sex life but I am realizing I’m being pretty hard on myself after reading through all these responses. Yes! The all or nothing mindset is sooo real. And I do think this lazy phase I’m going through right now is because I burnt myself out after pushing myself s…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 02:59 PM
1

Thank you so much for answering my question, I appreciate any advice that I can get surrounding this! I have wondered about the long term effects of being on BC as I actually started taking it in high school, along with SSRI antidepressants. I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from this! I need to get more comfortable/open with my sexuality and sex in general, I just feel inexperienced and like I don’t really know what I like but maybe that’s just part of being in my 20s. I try to be …
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 02:44 PM
2

Thank you for this list! I have been taking magnesium, zinc, and vitamin d daily for other reasons, but I’m not sure I’ve noticed much of a difference. I’ll look into kratom and kava. I’m in the USA, I saw these recommended and have been able to find kava root supplements easily online, but kratom I have not, even though it appears to be legal here. My state specifically has legalized marijuana and there isn’t really bans (as far as I know) on many natural herbal remedies since it’s kind of a hi…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 02:34 PM
1

Interesting, I don’t know much about chakras but I will look into it. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 02:24 PM
1

Thank you for replying and sharing this. You’re right, I know I need to gain weight and it’s been an ongoing issue and source of tension in my relationship (bf is worried, rightfully so). I’ve really been trying to put weight back on, but it has been difficult. Unfortunately the reason I lost so much is due to a complication of my smell/taste being damaged from COVID which basically makes food taste terrible. Thankfully it’s improved over the past few months, but I’m still struggling to gain eve…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 02:23 PM
1

Thank you for this reminder 🙌 You’re right, I’m probably just creating the problem in my head when really everything is fine, and it definitely stems from comparing myself to others / reading rando stories and overthinking my own sex life
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 02:18 PM
2

Sorry what I meant by that is going off my depression & ADHD meds is not an option for me. I stopped taking the BC pill entirely and don’t plan to ever get back on it!
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 02:47 AM
9

These responses are making me realize he has never expressed unhappiness regarding our sex life or the frequency of it. The only time it’s come up in the past is when I’ve initiated a conversation because it had been a month without or something, and I wanted him to know why. So I could definitely be making this up in my head and maybe just setting unrealistic standards for myself! But overall I do genuinely want to improve our sex life. Today I learned I need to start giving more BJs lol! I lov…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 01:29 AM
2

Thank you for responding and providing so much for me to think about. It’s good to hear that a few times a week is normal. Realistically where we’re at now is around 1x a week, but I would be happy if we could get back to 2x a week. I think I’ve just spent so much time lurking on dead bedroom subs that I’ve convinced myself I’m not doing enough for my boyfriend. I definitely need to learn and get more comfortable with giving BJs, I do think that would be a good way to keep him feeling satisfied …
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 01:20 AM
2

I just responded in my reply to her - but I have not asked him point blank if he’s happy with the frequency, nor has he really brought it up. I am always the one who initiates the conversation if we haven’t had sex in a while. You’re right I don’t think sex multiple times a day or even every day is a realistic goal for me - even just getting to 2-3x a week would make me happy! But it is reassuring to hear this is pretty average. I completely agree that I feel sexier when I’m happy with my body a…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 12:25 AM
4

He has not said anything about being unhappy with the frequency. Typically he is not the one that brings up our sex life in conversation. If I feel like we’ve gone too long without sex then I will bring it up and apologize/let him know what’s going on, but he is always very supportive. I do genuinely want a more active sex life for myself. While it is reassuring to hear that 1x a week is pretty normal, I also read stories on here about people who have sex daily or every other day. Which maybe is…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 12:22 AM
6

I am going to bring it up and see how he’s feeling about our sex life / what his ideal frequency is. Thank you for the ideas! He did mention to me the other day how he’s overdue for a BJ, so I know he would be happy with that. It’s just another area I’m not super experienced in so I haven’t really initiated that much at all in our relationship
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 12:16 AM
1

When it comes to arguing with my partner, I really try to hold my tongue and think before I speak. And genuinely think through whether the thing I’m about to say is constructive, or hurtful. How would I feel being at the receiving end? Am I just being reactive? Granted in the heat of the moment, there have been times I blurted things out I wish I didn’t, but I really try to be more intentional about it. When it comes to arguing with other people/friends/fam I’d echo to let go of feeling like you…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 09:12 PM
5

I can relate to a lot of the things you shared. Namely not always being in the mood to talk, fears about being left heartbroken, and feeling like I’m boring or not bringing enough to the table. I am 27 and in a LTR, but not married - so you can take my advice with a grain of salt. • When it comes to not being in the mood to talk or being short/rude when interrupted - it’s going to take time to break this pattern. I struggle with this and have really been trying to think before speaking and be mo…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 08:58 PM
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