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sunny_autumn_morning Archive

View 0 posts and 33 comments by sunny_autumn_morning on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I usually think the male version is a compliance test. They're seeing how willingly you'll go along with them, even if it's pushed past your normal dynamics or a boundary.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/22 04:56 PM
3

I've got an extremely busy week ahead and I'll be inclined to laser focus on my to-do list. I'm challenging myself to intentionally make room for people at the expense of my tasks. What that looks like in relation to my husband is to stop whatever I'm doing to fully focus on him if he wants to talk and to make a point at least once a day to do something small to connect and have fun.
/r/RedPillWives13/08/22 12:06 PM
2

Yeah there's a super fine line and I think you're right- we all have expectations in all our interactions. I think it's more about how closely we hold those expectations or how much we stake on them. Or how upset we are when our expectations aren't met. This is a little muddy in my head, but I think it's also related to the idea of manipulation. After being with my husband for so long, I know with about 99% certainty what he'll do in response to almost anything I say or do. Is it manipulation fo…
/r/RedPillWives03/08/22 10:18 PM
9

You know its funny, I could've asked a similar question about Fascinating Womanhood that usually gets rave reviews around here, but I always saw the value in The Surrendered Wife. I don't use all her methods exactly as she described them, but reading it was helpful for me to identify and weed out where I had control issues and to reconsider how I communicate with my husband. So I actually mostly agree with you though and I think her advice is best taken filtered through some common sense and kno…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/22 10:45 PM
1

My favorite Christian parenting book is Parenting by Paul Tripp
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 11:35 AM
3

Ooh yeah so that's actually more helpful information to go off of! I think it's totally normal to have decreased motivation for that type of stuff when you're pregnant and immediately afterwards. Don't be too hard on yourself right now, especially because your routine will get turned on its head when baby comes. And I do remember going through a phase where I questioned why I was willing to look nice when I was seeing other people but not for him at home. On one hand, you are a reflection of him…
/r/RedPillWives16/05/22 09:09 PM
8

I've actually been thinking about this topic lately because I used to feel exactly the same way you do but now I find myself looking forward to getting a chance to shave and moisturize my legs before bed, or if I have time to curl my hair after drying instead of an easier hairstyle. I'm not exactly sure how or when that switched (although I suspect it's partially just getting busier with life and kids that I'm thankful for the ability to have the time to spend on those activities, because that's…
/r/RedPillWives16/05/22 07:21 PM
10

I think looking at the data is super interesting, and if you could make the childcare decision in a vacuum, then these particular stats are pretty compelling. IRL though, we can't isolate variables like this and for many families, the choice to use childcare or not is more complicated. We know children in families with higher incomes also have better outcomes. We know children who live in better school districts have better outcomes. We know children in better neighborhoods have better outcomes.…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/22 01:39 PM
11

The best thing to do is to just keep tapping into your own femininity. If anything, imagine how you'd treat this ideal masculine version of your husband and treat him as if that's already true about him.
/r/RedPillWives09/05/22 10:07 PM
16

Someone told me once that the difference between nagging and reminding is that you nag because of how the other person's actions affect you and you remind when you are trying to help the other person do something that you know is important to them. It's not a perfect breakdown, but I have found it immensely helpful. You said he had savings and has been able to contribute so far, but are you scared he won't be able to much longer if he doesn't find a job? You may need to limit your help to when y…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/22 05:33 PM
5

Again, I am not promoting feminism either and I think my post history would prove I've never been promoting it. But I do expect intellectual honesty, especially in a group that claims to prioritize the truth about gender interactions. I could find and cherry pick a whole lot of quotes and examples of how RP thinking is steeped in misogyny and hold it up and say "see?! All these hateful things have been said about women and so you if you claim to be RP, then you must also hate women or else you'r…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 12:24 PM
10

I don't claim to be a feminist, so I am not coming at this from an angle of trying to defend that viewpoint, but I found this post confusing. The argument seems to be that because some?/many? prominent feminists didn't support a woman's right to choose, therefore other women can't?/shouldn't? support "choice feminism", especially if they personally desire a male-led relationship. If we can view RP/RPW like a toolbox, why could someone not treat feminism the same way? I certainly don't agree with…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 01:29 AM
18

☝️this. When he asks your opinion, ask him more questions. "Is there a difference in the durability between these?" Or talk about the features you'd prioritize but stop short of picking the final answer. "Hmm, I'm not sure what bathtub is best, but I do think I would want one that's easy to clean and will hold up well to the kids playing with their bath toys."
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/22 07:34 PM
3

Here for the The Excellent Wife love! It's usually my top recommendation from a Christian perspective.
/r/RedPillWives08/04/22 07:09 PM
22

There's lots of comments here about wife goggles and marrying early and having kids. And that's...fine I guess. But misses the point a little I think. I got married in my early 20s and had all my kids before I turned 30. I don't doubt my husband's love and faithfulness to me. But that really doesn't make aging easier and it doesn't make people any less likely to make negative remarks about your appearance. And doesn't change your own perception of your looks and your value. I didn't know how vai…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/22 12:39 AM
5

I WFH and am very involved in church activities as well, so I get it! One thing that helped me re: homemaking in little pieces is to literally break up my tasks into 2-5 minute long components. So instead of "mop the floor", my to do list will say: 1. Stack chairs on table 2. Sweep crumbs 3. Fill steam mop with water 4. Get out clean mop pad 5. Actually mop 6. Put chairs back down. It feels like overkill (surely I'm smart enough to know what it takes to mop the floor!) But that way if I have a 5…
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/22 03:15 PM
3

I think the answer of how feasibly you could return to work after staying home for a few years is highly dependent on your field and industry. My sister has been able to go from working FT, to staying home with her kids, to frequently getting recruiting calls until she finally accepted a part time position. I would no doubt be able to go back to work after a break of several years, but likely only with a significant paycut from what I'm making now.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/22 09:56 PM
9

In my experience, we only had problems with me earning more than my husband when he didn't quite earn enough to support our family. Now, we both know he could support our family on his own if needed and my salary isn't a threat, it's an asset.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/22 08:33 PM
11

Do you have the type of relationship where you can joke about it? I think I'd try escalating, almost like improv where you always say "yes" when he brings it up. "Yeah, it must suck being married to such a masculine, controlling woman." Hopefully that cuts the tension and makes him realize he appreciates you instead of you pointing out why he should appreciate you.
/r/RedPillWives20/01/22 08:17 PM
12

I don’t use "Whatever you think" to shift the burden of effort to my husband. I use it when he's talking about something that he has responsibility for or that I have no reason to have input into. I get that you don't want this to be the case, but if he is specifically asking you to plan date night, you have to decide if you'd rather do it his way, which means you plan it, and enjoy a night out, or whether you'd rather hold onto your insistence that he plan it.
/r/RedPillWives27/11/21 10:45 PM
11

This is something I've struggled to come to terms with before and have swung back and forth a few times on how I see logic vs emotions. One idea I came across about a year ago is that emotions often help catch our attention to things that we need to logically engage with. For example you may feel compassion toward the homeless you see in your city which drives you to find a reputable charity to donate to. If you hadn't felt the emotional reaction, you would never have engaged further. Emotions a…
/r/RedPillWives03/08/21 03:50 PM
7

Try to pay attention and notice the things you actually admire about him. If you genuinely admire him for those things, you won't sound disingenuous. And if it's not been a habit for you, there's no harm in taking it slow and just sprinkling it in to start.
/r/RedPillWives28/07/21 07:36 PM
3

He manages them overall and there's a set monthly amount that I get for the categories I manage (groceries, toiletries, clothes for me and the kids, etc.) I originally asked for a certain amount for each category and we negotiated a bit, but we haven't changed the monthly amount since we originally set it. There have been a couple months that I needed a little bit more in the grocery budget, so in those months I asked him for more in the middle of the month with a detailed explanation of why I h…
/r/RedPillWives29/06/21 08:58 PM
3

We don't call it an allowance, and I'm usually the one going to the ATM to actually get the cash, but we do use the general principle. Each month I divide the cash into categories, kinda like the Dave Ramsey envelope system. If I buy something online, I move cash from that category's envelope to a locked cash box we keep in the house. That way I know I've spent it (it's gone from my spending envelope) and the money is available at the end of the month to pay the credit card bill.
/r/RedPillWives29/06/21 08:47 PM
4

That part of the book jumped out at me as well because it didn't totally resonate with my experience. I think you're right that testing is more common in dating. I don't believe I've ever experienced it since I've been married. Of course I know he wants me to hold myself to those high standards, but I don't think he tests it.
/r/RedPillWives11/06/21 12:01 PM
2

If it's not working for you now, why would continuing to do the same thing (you pointing him to what you think will be best) lead to different results? Dreaming about what your husband could be if he got on board with MRP is a sure path to disappointment, even if he does it! Because when you're fantasizing about it, ultimately you're still in control. I bet in your imagination he always does everything in a perfectly manly way that makes you over the moon happy. Because you're in control of the …
/r/RedPillWives05/05/21 01:15 PM
18

I wouldn't recommend RP content to him because if you already feel like he's not taking charge and you're having to take control by default, if he actually reads and starts to make changes, will you actually be happy wondering if he's only doing it to make you happy? Will you still feel like you were in control by showing it to him?
/r/RedPillWives04/05/21 03:40 PM
2

I knew if my dad was quiet, then he didn't approve. He never criticized men he disliked, but he was complementary when he did approve of someone I was dating. I'm sure that was his way of trying to avoid a rebellious reaction while still making his point.
/r/RPChristians12/03/21 09:22 PM
2

And if you're responding to people's posts by focusing on the weeds and forgetting the forest, think twice about what you're actually trying to accomplish Ouch.
/r/RPChristians17/02/21 12:54 PM
3

I'm probably out of my depth here, but I think its a good sign that he's easily turned on. And keep in mind it might not be you that's pushing the brakes; it could be external, but there could still be things you could do to help mitigate it.
/r/RPChristians16/02/21 08:48 PM
4

I’ve always felt that my high sex drive was a masculine trait, but I don’t understand how to change that Having a "high" sex drive isn't necessarily masculine...1 Corinthians 7:3-5 talks about the husband giving the wife her conjugal rights and not to deprive each other. If women didn't have sexual desire or always had less desire than men, then those verses wouldn't need to be bi-directional. Something that has been helpful for me in understanding sex drive in my marriage I came across in the b…
/r/RPChristians16/02/21 08:24 PM
1

Expectation for young adults to move out at age 18 (or 20 or 22 or whatever) - pushes women to develop career skills in order to support herself in lieu of pursuing marriage. If needing to live on your own is a certainty but marriage is only a possibility, its not a wonder young women aren't focusing on marriage. Which feeds into some of the other educational trends you noted that then tend to delay marriage even further. I've heard debate among other parents on whether they will save college fu…
/r/RPChristians15/01/21 09:11 PM
2

This is an interesting concept. My husband and I have talked a lot over the years about different discipleship and ministry models, but this is different than anything we've experienced or discussed. I hope you continue to share more as you pursue this direction.
/r/RPChristians13/01/21 12:46 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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