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sunnyleaf9 Archive

View 7 posts and 51 comments by sunnyleaf9 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I don't think my post was clear 😬😬 He didn't lie, I just assumed it was vaginal intercourse. And I never had an open relationship, I just entertained the idea or fantasized but never did anything. Trust him and let the matter go! Thank you for saying this. I want to calm down about it. Or did you tell all of your friends/family/relatives about your past? I don't know if this was a rhetorical question but yes. We've known each other for all of our adolescent and adult lives, so I'm paying for the…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/21 03:05 AM
3

I want to be clear that I have never, ever had a threesome. And growing up I was mostly attracted to other girls/women until my parents noticed and told me I was supposed to be attracted to men. My boundary about threesomes is that I'm not interested having sex with someone I am not extremely emotionally attached to because of my history of sexual abuse, and being emotionally attached to multiple people at once sounds like a set up for pain and jealousy. Your suggestion to give him my sexual bes…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/21 02:51 AM
3

I guess it makes sense that he's more concerned about my reservations than with his own history. Before I was only interested in the idea of being with a woman and I never actually did it and he knows I have chickened out when women have approached me. I don't think I'm saving the best because I'd fantasize with him or entertain the idea like I did before, but he wanted to take it a step further and actually do it. I don't know... I don't know if the difference between fantasizing and intending …
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/21 02:25 AM
6

Thank you for your reply. I needed to hear that it's okay for him to fantasize and have these dreams. Now that I think about it, I have occasional sexual dreams of being with women too. I just don't take them seriously and go about my day. He feels the need to tell on himself, almost like repenting, because he feels like a bad person for having these dreams. But maybe if I tell him it's okay to have these dreams (just that I don't want to know about them) then he'll relax a bit.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/21 04:31 PM
1

I am in a similar position where my SO isn't sure when I should meet his coworkers/bosses since there's a company holiday party coming up. He's generally kind and caring towards me and he isn't sure how he feels about his coworkers/bosses seeing him in that vulnerable state. He works in an all-male environment around other masculine men and relies on that similarity for success in networking.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/21 12:59 AM
0

Thank you so much for your reply. I will definitely do that. What would you suggest I do if he starts a conversation about his career, but then it just turns into depression/hopelessness?
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/21 03:54 PM
3

Lol I have heard of assertive encouragement before and he has actually said that helps him. I'll try to remember that.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/21 03:52 PM
10

Your GF sounds lovely and your story is really inspiring. I really wish I still lived with him so I could do more for him without words.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/21 03:51 PM
2

Thank you for the advice. I can try but I'm not sure if he'll go for it.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/21 01:15 PM
9

What is your age and his age? 10 years is a long time to not be over the pain of an ex. I do not think you should blame yourself for not inspiring love and commitment. He said it himself that he'd been "wrong in the past," which sounds like he regrets being emotionally vulnerable to his ex. So his hesitation seems to be coming from protecting himself from pain, rather than whatever qualities you may or may not have. It sounds like he needs to learn how to trust again. HOWEVER, it's up to you to …
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/21 07:18 AM
6

I don't know if anything you say, based on reason or emotion, is going to change a life long opinion in your grandmother. The only thing you can control is how their words affect you and how much you time you spend listening to them. You can distance yourself from them if it gives you peace. Completely cutting them off isn't necessary, but after they start, you can completely refuse to respond, change the subject, or even find an excuse to leave their presence early. Maybe someday they'll subcon…
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/21 03:24 PM
1

I just went to my 60th family reunion and got to learn about my great great great great great great grandparents (a total of 10 generations back dating to the early 1800s until people got lost in the slave trade). As an American where we usually don't know a lot about our family history, I'm extremely proud and grateful. I contribute it all to the women in my family who bring us all together, as a source of wisdom, a sense of community, love, a care for upholding familial and social ties, and of…
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/21 05:31 AM
2

IUD insertion was one of the worst pains of my life. I almost vomited. It's removal was a breeze!! I barely felt it.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/21 04:44 AM
23

This is not how you treat people you love. Your relationship is "tainted," but it was tainted the moment he told you he didn't love you and then blocked you. He's manipulating you into thinking YOU are tainted and ruined the relationship because he doesn't want to look like the bad guy. OP you deserve more than this, and his current treatment of you is nearing emotional abuse. Please please know that you can do better.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/21 03:30 PM
3

By "family" I assumed she was referring to the income of parents/grandparents/siblings, not a husband and children. There's no issue in thinking about her future relationships.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/21 02:13 PM
7

Do you know what caused him to pick up smoking? My boyfriend started as a "social smoker" and I saw the beginnings of a daily habit. I HATE the smell of smoke and it's a huge turn off for me, so I wouldn't kiss him or be intimate if I could smell even the faintest amount. HE was the one to make the decision about what he'd rather have. Although I was firm in my boundaries, I kept my inner happiness and feminine energy, which included absolutely no suggestions, hints, or controlling behavior. I d…
/r/RedPillWives18/08/21 04:51 PM
4

I was scared of cooking meat too! A meat thermometer made me feel a lot better. You can also start with pressure/slow cooker meals where the meat is cooked for HOURS, but since it's cooked in liquid it gets super tender. Homemade stews, soups, pulled pork or pulled chicken, enchilada meat filling, chili, etc. It also gives you time to make fancy side salads.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 03:16 PM
8

I'm not sure if you're in the US, but Big Brothers Big Sisters of America or something similar could be a resource. Edit: there's also school counselor/teachers, and fathers of his friends. I'm also mixed race and really understand the isolation and struggles with identity. I really feel for this kid.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/21 02:17 PM
2

My plan is to be a professor (in math/computer science). When I hopefully have children and they are school aged, I want to work 1-2 classes online. My former boss has a master's degree and is a lead scientist at a research facility. She works 20hrs per week and works 5 minutes from home. We are a small facility so she can set her own hours and make things as flexible as she needs. She has 3 kids :) Fully funded masters programs with a stipend (what I am doing and what my former boss did) was a …
/r/RedPillWives13/08/21 01:58 AM
1

My grandma was the one that taught me! She writes down the events of the day and her thoughts about what has happened to keep her mind sharp, but also to keep herself company before bed (she's lived alone since her husband passed 20 years ago). "Thoughts" can include an intellectual reflection/analysis of the day's events, your emotions, plans, hopes, regrets, or just word vomiting whatever comes to mind. There's also brain dumps where you purge your mind of your innermost thoughts on paper. It …
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/21 02:53 PM
6

I completely agree with this! Inner peace and happiness is contagious.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/21 08:07 PM
3

I've lived with my SO for the past year but this week I've just moved two hours away from him for a grad school program. I miss him quite a bit, especially at night. I've been thinking about getting a pet for years now and if I did, I think it could help with the loneliness. In the meantime, I'm trying to source my inner strength and self reliance. Any tips or stories from a similar situation would be appreciated ♥️
/r/RedPillWives08/08/21 08:34 AM
9

I like to journal. Just writing down my thoughts to keep myself company and get more in touch with myself. This is especially helpful when I find myself sitting doing nothing with no one to talk to. Once I can turn my focus inwards with journalling, then it's usually easier for me to find the motivation to do an activity. Usually it's an activity that directly benefits my physical or emotional health. That way I gain a greater appreciation for myself and as a bonus I become more attractive to th…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/21 08:20 AM
17

I guess it really depends on who you want to admire you. If you are a stay at home mom, you are valued greatly by your husband, children, close friends and family. If you are a career woman, you are valued by your peers in the workplace. I rode motorcycles, sought after prestigious jobs, and portrayed myself as a leader. I wasn't very fulfilled and found myself seeking the approval of people who didn't genuinely know or care about me, most of which were men who gave approval when I displayed mas…
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/21 03:36 AM
4

emotions often help catch our attention to things that we need to logically engage with I couldn't have said it better! Emotions are not always "true" or indicative of reality and shouldn't always drive our decisions. I wholeheartedly agree. Maybe your SO says something that makes you feel hurt, embarrassed, sadness, etc. Those emotions are a signal that you need to logically engage with the content. With that logic, you can determine the appropriate response and assess the situation. Maybe you …
/r/RedPillWives03/08/21 06:15 PM
13

My sister was never overweight but was on the higher end of the normal BMI range. She tried to conceive for SIX YEARS and wound up going through all those hormones studies and whatnot, and her husband had his sperm checked out. The labs were normal so she tried a holistic health approach and did the Whole30 diet. She wound up losing 10-15 pounds and conceived IMMEDIATELY afterward! It's basically eliminating all processed foods and additives from your diet that can cause systemic inflammation, w…
/r/RedPillWives03/08/21 05:59 PM
1

That's very interesting, I wouldn't have thought about it that way. I want to make sure I'm understanding you correctly and how it works. If a woman locates her self-worth externally, does that mean she will be more likely to search for other male's attention and approval and therefore more willing to change partners? Whereas a woman who has internally-sourced self-worth will not depend on male attention, feel secure in her choices, and not feel the need to look outwards for happiness?
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 06:11 PM
1

I'm able to be more "type B" with houseplants, cooking, hiking, and music, but it's something I had to search for. When I was younger, I was type A about everything. With cooking and platforming games, I will spend 3 hours playing without realizing it.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 04:20 PM
5

I want to be a WAHM. I know RPW says that a SAHM is better than a working mom, but once the children are school-aged I'd like to work. I'm hoping to become an online professor in math/computer science, with the option to only work 10-20 hours per week and breaks/time off that align with children's school schedules. Thankfully the degree is fully funded and my stipend is comparable to what I was making before. Maybe you can help me understand hypergamy better. My first exposure to the concept was…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 04:10 PM
2

I've done Zelda and Sims and somehow made it goal-oriented and eventually got frustrated. I've had a lot of fun with chef/cooking games and platform games as well, but those were really addictive for me.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 03:37 PM
3

I said that I had a "problem" with hypergamy while with LVM, but maybe I shouldn't beat myself up so much. Maybe the issue in those relationships was staying with LVM despite the warning signs. Would it be safe to say that hypergamy is only detrimental when a woman has secured a HVM?
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 03:16 PM
1

I am almost certain that video games could keep me occupied for hours, but I'm not sure if it would keep me "content and happy" for hours. I can be type A or goal-oriented to a fault, so when I've tried video games I just get obsessed with being ~the best~ and I'm not really sure if I enjoy it. But if you have an antidote to that, I would definitely be interested. Right now I'm mainly interested in houseplants, cooking, and hiking. I'd like to get into reading and art, but it's hard for me to ge…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 03:04 PM
1

I've been using the combatting hypergamy link in the wiki under LTR management as a reference. Although I would consider myself a very hypergamous woman from previous relationships, thoughts of hypergamy haven't been an issue for the time we've been together (and honestly the years beforehand when I had my eyes on him). I see late nights studying, high emotions from challenging courses, and the isolation of a long distance relationship as extenuating circumstances that may warp my perception of …
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 02:30 PM
1

Thank you for asking, I've just turned 25. With a birthday recently passing and jokes of a "quarter-life crisis," I've been more actively working towards improving my SMV. Before my approach was "be hygienic, wear well-fitting clothes, don't be fat" but now I've started using SPF religiously, developed a makeup / hair care / skin care routine, built more muscle tone (especially my booty), and searched for my inner beauty and femininity. At this point I believe I've vetted well, but I'm aware of …
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 02:01 PM
3

That's a great way to think about it, thank you! It has been hard being apart from him and I've missed him a lot, so your advice is really comforting. It's soothing to remind myself that he's the best guy out there for me, and almost makes me fall in love all over again. I'll keep the vetting process in mind if it consistently becomes an issue, but I'm hopeful that it won't and I'll continue to reinforce that thinking. Thank you for your comment.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 01:36 PM
4

I saw that u/Takkune was confused as well so I edited the original post. Thanks for bringing that to my attention. My original intention was to look through the wiki for LTR maintenance advice, and I saw that combatting hypergamy is a huge part of it.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 01:13 PM
1

Thank you for sharing your experience and I will definitely follow your advice! I will get better at being happy and occupied while alone.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 05:27 AM
16

I'm worried about the feeling of temptation itself. When I had it really bad before, I felt distracted from my relationship and dirty/guilty for thinking about another man in that way, even though I never acted on it.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 04:01 AM
2

Not sure if this answers your question, but getting comfortable with shaping/defining my brows and applying mascara every day changed my life. I think you look outwards at the world a different way when you wear makeup.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 05:46 AM
8

Defend explain excuse rationalize Own your shit Shut the fuck up Also mods, I think there might be something wrong with the "acronyms" link in the wiki.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 05:18 AM
3

I saw that he's interested in standup.. It sounds heavily inspired or related to a Bill Burr skit. It sounds like his "joke" was piggy backing off this idea and poorly framed.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 04:54 AM
3

"I love you despite xyz" is still rejection and creates tension and separation. He knows now that you clearly don't like his humor/morality. That's the part of him that's wounded, so he may not be receiving your warmth that is being directed towards the other parts of him. I'm sorry to hear you don't feel like he creates a safe environment. That sounds really tough 😔 You sound like a very supportive and caring gf, and I'm sorry to hear you feeling tired of giving and not receiving. I hope for yo…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/21 11:50 PM
3

It is fair that you want your SO be able to be honest with their feelings and intentions. I've struggled with this in the past and found that creating a nonjudgmental, open minded, receptive, warm and kind environment makes people feel safer expressing themselves when they're hurt. It sounds like you don't think he has the right to be hurt, so l don't really blame him for not wanting to open up about his feelings. If you want to see him, maybe you can apologize for hurting his feelings and sayin…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/21 11:06 PM
2

I love every word of this, I couldn't have said it better.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/21 05:57 AM
1

Only a 2 year master's program!
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/21 01:01 AM
3

I like mindfulness a lot: https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/what-mindfulness I also have tried to heal my mind by taking care of my body and spirit. For your body, finding a better sleep schedule, hydration, nutritious food, and exercise. For your spirit, try spending more time around your community, family, friends, religion, etc. If you don't have anyone, you could find a therapist, join a club, or treat yourself to a weekend staycation (https://www.thecut.com/article/best-staycation-ideas.…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 08:19 PM
52

When I got in a relationship with a masculine male, I discovered that I actually enjoyed sex. Before I thought I was borderline asexual but it turns out I just wasn't finding what I was attracted to. I did have a huge realization during covid quarantines; it forced me to go from being out of the house full time to working online part-time. I had the time of my LIFE. Cooking, cleaning, and having the time to care for others fulfilled me in ways I never thought imaginable.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 07:58 PM
1

Victoria Secret long thermal sets for the winter! They accentuate my waist and hug my butt/hips. My boyfriend always notices when I wear them. https://www.victoriassecret.com/us/vs/sleepwear-and-lingerie-catalog/victoria-s-secret-thermal-long-pj-set-1117517600?genericId=11175176&choice=4ZZG&size1=XL In the winter they'll have snowflake and plaid designs!
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 03:33 PM
2

What is RBF? Edit: nevermind 😅 I thought it was specifically a red pill term but I got it now
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 03:23 PM
1

In my teens/early 20s I had a huge fear of commitment and emotional intimacy. Although I wasn't aware of it at the time, I had an abusive boyfriend in high school that left me hurt, scarred, guarded and jaded. I saw that my parents and my friend's parents had unhealthy relationships. After that I lost faith in finding happiness in a partner. When PTSD reared its ugly head, I realized these feelings were not normal and I decided to go to therapy. It took years of healing and telling myself that I…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 03:17 PM
1

Being a RPW is about keeping a man who has committed to you. If your boyfriend is cheering you on, then that's great! Thank you for saying this. I think I've been doubting that he would stay interested in me while I am in school, but I think I need to trust what he says and not shoot myself in the foot with all this worrying. ​ Grad school has nothing to do with SMV and is unlikely to make you hit the wall any sooner than normal unless, again, you are living in a lab 24/7. I'm not going to be in…
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/21 07:49 PM
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