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sunset74420 Archive

View 0 posts and 245 comments by sunset74420 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

What helps me at times is just reading the Queen Sh*t posts when I am really not in the proper headspace to read some of the others. I wouldn't want anyone to feel as though they shouldn't share their negative experiences with men because it is definitely important to talk about. That being said, I just have to be mindful of my own triggers and be more proactive when I am scrolling through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 06:26 PM
15

Please don't listen to those jackasses. A lot of people say those things because they think it can never happen to them, or that they will know exactly what to do if they were in a situation like that. There's a huge difference between what happens in a hypothetical scenario in their head and real fucking life. This guy is a POS and there is no excuse for what he did to you. He is the only one to blame in this scenario and to hell with anyone who tells you otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 12:56 AM
5

There are ways that you can block someone and still be able to access the messages that they send. This way she can gather evidence and not be subjected to seeing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 12:44 AM
5

I saw a couple of news stories where people were adopting pets to keep as company during COVID, and then bringing them to the shelter when people started getting vaccinated and restrictions started to ease up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 02:08 AM
8

Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll work himself into a stroke before he can lumber all the way up the basement steps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 06:05 PM
3

Sometimes I still get pissed at the money and effort I threw away on LVMs, even though I put a stop to it a few years ago. I try not to stay there because getting angry isn't going to put that money back in my pocket. I just tell myself that, as far as I am concerned, I brought that gravy train to a screeching halt. There's probably some pick-me or parents or someone else enabling them, but at least it ain't me. I've also had to take a step back and take a hard look at why I felt compelled to do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 07:38 PM
3

I don't remember, but I hope she did. Honestly, I was so shocked at the thought of a grown man, and a father at that, shitting in a kid's potty, so the conversation was pretty much a blur after that. She also didn't stay with the company long after that, so I don't know if she stayed with him. Imagine having to coparent with someone like that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 05:16 PM
8

I would save anything that you found as well as document any creepy shit this guy says or does and go to HR. You would probably get further focusing on what he is doing today, especially him telling people he hates you for not giving him your number and being given numerous warnings about his comments. HR may not be concerned about the tweets as they are from four years ago (even though it's obvious from this guy's behavior that he didn't change - he just got better at covering his tracks.) Bett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 04:29 PM
7

I may have said this here before, but years ago I worked for a woman that was living with her bf, and she had a toddler with him. One day she was telling a story about how he was playing video games and he asked her to bring the kid's potty over to him. "I just want to see it a minute". She said that he proceeded to take a shit in the kid's potty so that he didn't have to pause his game. These are some of the things I think about when I question my decision to be single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 11:12 PM
2

I wish it only took 1 month to get a restraining order (referring to first filing to final hearing)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 05:59 PM
6

There is a meme I saw a while ago about a DIY Fleshlight made out of some old sponges and something else...and my nosy ass did a search because I forgot what else it was made of. That led me to an article about dudes fucking Pringles cans, socks, corn starch (lol)...come on, what woman wants to be compared to any of that? When you look it like that, you go from being flattered to feeling insulted really quickly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 03:55 AM
7

Well, the pick-me that made that comment doesn't know what the future holds. Fuck women that think like this. When that story broke about Marilyn Manson having a history of being sexually abusive toward women, the comments section was full of these idiots blaming the women because they should have seen it coming by his persona. And I am sitting here thinking, "Great job, ladies. You are posting with your full name and a picture of yourself about how it's the woman's fault, where all these bottom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:54 AM
2

I suppose it's possible, just like it is possible for someone to find a million-dollar lottery ticket while rummaging in a dumpster. Doesn't mean it's remotely likely, nor is it a good use of my time. When I find out a guy is into casual or FWB, any chance he has with me is nonexistent. If someone is trying to get into my pants right away, that tells me a few things and none of them are good. It tells me that his priorities are all fucked up, for one. What if he were to take all that energy that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:24 AM
5

It's true. It takes a basic minimum of observational skills to see that anyone who tries to spout that nonsense about men aging like wine and women aging like milk are completely FOS. These guys are younger than I am and they look the same age as my father when he was in his 60s. If we are put off by that, why in the hell would someone in their late teens or their 20s be interested unless they were in some dire straights or had some major issues of some sort?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 06:38 PM
2

That is pretty much the gist of it. I don't know how someone doesn't feel insulted when approached with this arrangement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 12:39 PM
5

I have started leaving out the DOB when I do my searches, if I at least have an age. I have uncovered lots more than with it. By doing that, I have had all kinds of things pop up, from multiple landlord/tenant suits to finding out the apple doesn't far fall from the tree. These things are either a matter of public record, or it is information that they themselves put out there. Too bad, so sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 08:20 PM
28

I had some guy abbreviate extra as "xtra". What does he do with all that "xtra" time he saved not typing the entire word? LMAO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 08:25 PM
16

At the risk of seeming like a total bitch, I have to laugh when I see a middle-aged man in a picture with his girlfriend with silly shit like barnyard animal filters and all of that. I have to think to myself what grown assed man wants a picture of himself like that on social media?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 04:45 PM
5

This was an after-school dance, so it was not required that we attend, but I am sure I would have if I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 06:05 PM
124

Back in elementary school, we had a dance, and one of the rules was that if someone asked you to dance, you were not allowed to say "no". I ended up not going because I knew there was a boy that liked me, I did not like him, and I did not want to end up having to dance with him. Way to tell girls that their comfort takes a backseat to a boy's feelings. The people that come up with these bullshit ideas need to get their heads out of their asses and do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 08:37 AM
7

I have had a couple guys tell me "Thank God you're not like 300 pounds." Meanwhile I will not be in a place alone with a guy I don't know well because in the back of my head I am wondering. "Am I going to have a good time, or am I going to have to physically defend myself against this person?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 09:34 PM
14

LOL. My ex was one of those and from now on I am going to associate his face with that phrase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 08:54 PM
2

Well, besides the fact that a strange man would have access to the house and belongings, could possibly not know what he is doing and cause damage or even do something maliciously, this is just one more reason I will never have someone other than a licensed contractor that I hire do work on my house ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 01:33 AM
2

This reminds me of a snippet of a talk show I watched a long time ago, think it was on Donahue. This woman was talking about how she does everything for her son, and I distinctly remember her saying something about cutting up his food and she said "I'd even chew it for him if I could". I guess the guy in question is that boy all grown up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 12:42 PM
12

I'm getting tired of it myself. I look a lot younger than I am, and I am thin, and that is all well and good, but I am sick of feeling like we have to look like we are in our 20s forever OR ELSE. Sorry, but if any guy old enough to date doesn't realize by now that every woman past the age of 40 doesn't all of a sudden start looking like Alice from The Brady Bunch, they are just too stupid to talk to. Not to mention I tune out the second some guy starts yammering on about standards he doesn't eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 07:27 PM
10

Every time I become furious at myself for some of the shit I've put up with in the past, I am going to come back and watch this video.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:01 AM
5

Absolutely. I've finally cut off friends and family members when I realized this was just a pattern of behavior that was just going to continue and that nothing I ever learned about assertive communications would ever work with them. They weren't interested in healthy relationships. They just wanted their own way, and anything less was an injustice. Dr. Ramani's videos really helped me to see that having these people in my life was a losing proposition and gave me the strength to get rid of them…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 12:30 AM
6

I've been asked the same thing. But because this was in high school also, I considered that he just didn't know better. What is with goddamn adult men having this mentality?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 12:41 PM
4

Not sure if it's that way for everyone, but it's been hard for me as well. It really accelerated with this pandemic, and having a job loss and a serious medical issue a few months prior to that. It sucks when you realize that the only thing propping up your relationships with people was your willingness to put up with their shit, but those people didn't care all along. They are just being more overt about it now that you put your foot down. I don't know what it is with a lot of people these days…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 03:41 AM
17

Not sure if it's that way for everyone, but it's been hard for me as well. It really accelerated with this pandemic, and having a job loss and a serious medical issue a few months prior to that. It sucks when you realize that the only thing propping up your relationships with people was your willingness to put up with their shit, but those people didn't care all along. They are just being more overt about it now that you put your foot down. I don't know what it is with a lot of people these days…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 03:41 AM
5

And it's not just the availability, but the content. I dated someone who knew a guy that worked at an adult bookstore years ago, and he told me stories about guys going into the store with disguises (Groucho Marx glasses, etc) to go into the back room where the hardcore stuff was. Most of the time maybe a guy had a Playboy or Penthouse and that was about it. If someone was talking to me about someone being choked during sex, it was in the context of "this girl said she liked being choked during …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 11:43 PM
14

And the next guy that tells me that many women like that sort of thing, they will be told that they are free to go find one of those many women because I am not one of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 11:09 PM
7

Or bandannas. Or they just crop the bald out of the top of the pic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 10:35 PM
15

They don't want to have to ask us out either. Honestly, if I have to play both sides, what are they even there for?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 10:02 PM
11

Not just that, the time in the chair. I had gotten a cut, "fashion" color and style and I was there 3-4 hours. IIRC it ran me at least a couple hundred, and that 3-4 hours working OT could have netted me an extra $95-125. And these guys are complaining about paying for a date like they are giving up a vital organ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 09:55 PM
42

LOL, I still remember this DM from a guy that was telling me about how his dick isn't as big as it used to be because of the weight he gained. Imagine being that lazy that a better diet and some exercise is standing between him and a bigger penis and they still won't do it. I detected some height insecurity with that one, too. I told him to save his fucking gas and stay home, among other things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 09:23 PM
7

In "Why Does He Do That?" Lundy Bancroft talks about this and how property damage is a form of domestic violence. He also said that when they cause damage, it is never to their own belongings. Not only is he being physically threatening, IMO this is a form of financial abuse because now you have to incur the expense of making these repairs to fix the damage that he caused. I hope that you have access to a local DV organization where you can talk to someone about your options. For the future, the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 09:10 PM
1

LOL that was a gamechanger when my friends and I figured that out during the big hair era.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 05:46 PM
6

Yes! I started watching her videos over a year ago and wasn't really getting it until then. The three-parter she has on coverts is where the lightbulb finally came on. Before that, I was driving myself nuts trying to communicate differently with certain people, and nothing I did worked. She really is a godsend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 12:01 AM
14

Dr. Ramani has a video on communal narcissists, and until I watched it, there were certain people that would just bother me for some reason and I just could not put my finger on why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 10:07 PM
8

True. I know three women off the top of my head that were widowed before 40.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 03:31 PM
4

Everything about this. No snoring, elbows, being woken up at the crack of dawn and not being able to get back to sleep - does wonders for the mood. Being able to set the lights and music and take a nice relaxing bath with essential oils and not having someone choose to blow up the bathroom at that every moment. Not feeling guilty about spending your own damn money on something. Not having to capitulate to their taste in music, food, TV, etc. to keep the peace. My only regret is not doing it soon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 08:11 PM
12

One of the best things that I did was stop drinking. It dehydrates you, interferes with your sleep, and can cause heart problems, among other things. Too much of it obliterates your common sense and causes you to miss red flags that you would otherwise spot. It lowers your inhibitions and opens you up to potentially unsafe situations. These guys are well aware of this, which is why they ply us with drinks. I guess the end justifies the means for these clowns. No way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 09:30 PM
15

This has been going on since the days of "mother's little helper" (Valium) and I am sure way before that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 09:21 PM
37

Same. These guys want to use being single as a threat? Psssh. I'd much, much rather be alone than trapped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 04:37 PM
13

The only time I have been told by a guy that I was overthinking was when he was trying to get over on me and I stopped the shit before it started. Would it still be overthinking if it worked in their favor? Probably not. And it doesn't take much thought to figure out that I don't like the way I am being treated. SMH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 12:24 PM
3

This is beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 11:32 PM
2

I would also say make sure that you ask for a copy of the police report(s) and keep them in a safe place where he would not have access to them. You can always get copies later at City Hall for a nominal fee (when I did it, it was $10 for each but they never bugged me about paying it). It's up to you if you feel safe filing a PFA because only you have a sense of whether he will abide by it or if it will piss him off more. There should be resources on your county website but I would not look them…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:41 PM
18

I saw some meme where someone had two sponges, some plastic wrap, rubber bands, and I forget what else to make a DIY fleshlight. Things like this are why I have a hard time feeling flattered because some guy wants to get down my pants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:13 PM
123

My ex's brother has been with his gf for at least 20 years and he told me a while ago (almost ten years ago IIRC) that she was supposed to be a one night stand and that he isn't attracted to her. So he's just going to siphon another 10 or so years from her life? She had a good job but got really sick and he was making plans to hook up with someone else. I told him he was a lowlife and blocked him. You see situation after situation like this in life and hear similar stories from other women, and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:00 PM
76

That whole "crazy in the head, crazy in the bed" that guys like to spout makes me sick to my fucking stomach. These guys are no damn different than an adult that goes after a teenager or tries to get someone drunk or drugged to take advantage of them. I have to go calm down now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:50 PM
19

I dated someone that did that (notches in the bedpost), but we were in high school at the time. Grown men doing this shit is pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 06:00 PM
72

Years ago I had an incident where a guy I was dating kicked my apartment door in. Someone overheard me talking about it to someone and said "You must have done something because a guy doesn't just do that." And in my head I am thinking, "Oh, so you are saying that there IS an acceptable reason to do something like that? Thanks for the warning." I don't need to be anywhere near that asshole mentality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 12:53 AM
2

I am in my mid-forties. The answer is "Nope"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 07:51 PM
2

At one point I was on 6 different meds for bipolar and IBS. Now all I use is medical marijuana and I go to therapy. The single best thing I did for my well-being was to get shitty people like that out of my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 05:07 PM
6

Yup. I think Lundy Bancroft talked about it in his book. Abusers often don't see themselves as abusive because there is always someone out there doing something worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 08:10 PM
8

Nothing like catching yourself in the reflection of the TV when it's off and looking like a woman trapped under a sack of potatoes LOL. I did actually say that to someone once, during. Also, these guys will live on a steady diet of crap food, beer and cigarettes and still want the woman to swallow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 02:15 PM
6

This dumbass did it to himself. I am so glad this woman put her self-respect above his feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 03:39 PM
2

I don't think that there is one time in my life that I've heard a guy bring up DV/male victims of rape independent of a women talking about female victims. Either that or "false accusations". When there's a story in the news about a female teacher sleeping with one of her students, same guys are all "Durrrr, where were teachers like that when I was in school?" GMAFB.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 01:44 PM
5

No nude pics or videos, and I don't want to be with a guy who asks. No one ever died from being horny or not having a picture to jerk off too. There are many other ways to maintain intimacy, and if a guy doesn't have the imagination to explore those, I am not interested. I'd rather a guy assume that I am a prude or whatever he is inclined to think, and lose interest, than to give in and worry that down the road he is going to get revenge, or that an employer is going to come across something dur…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 11:06 PM
7

Nice! The third one I am definitely going to check out. I already have the other two in paperback. Thank you for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 06:58 PM
1

Especially in this day and age, a simple "Happy Birthday" is just about the easiest thing that someone can do. Even if someone doesn't remember, it's the same day every year, and it's as easy as setting a reminder on a calendar or even pushing a freaking button in text that says "Happy Birthday". If a company that I've shopped with once or twice can send a birthday message, what does that say about a guy who won't? FTS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 03:55 PM
17

My neighbor had this same attitude. Maybe still does, but I wouldn't know because she was rude to me one too many times and I told her to go fuck herself. She'd brag about how she'd have all kinds of sex with these guys and treat them like garbage. I told her nothing about what she does sounds in any way appealing to me. She was gobsmacked when one of the guys told her "you are not a good person", and another just said "I agree" when she told him "I don't think this is working." LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 01:12 AM
1

If this isn't an appetite suppressant, nothing is: I remember reading an article about some guy on a show called The Sex Clinic and he went on it because of pain and odor. It turned out to be 24 years of smegma from him not washing properly. Plus, he had gotten multiple STDs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 12:02 PM
3

I forget the name of the book, but it had to do with secrets of hiring managers, and in the book one woman said that she would have a picture of children on her desk (not her children; she didn't have any). She would use it to weed out parents (most likely mothers) because invariably the applicants would see the picture and start talking about their own children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 06:54 AM
19

Ugh. None of that sounds remotely appealing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:15 AM
13

This is my life and I have to say even with what's going on in the world these days, I am the happiest I've been in, I'd say, the past 20 years. My house is decorated the way I like it without someone else's crap taking up a bunch of space. I listen to the music and watch the shows I want to watch without anyone complaining or grabbing the remote and changing the channel in the middle of a program I am trying to watch. No worries about anyone else's food preferences and the cats eat what I put i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 02:15 AM
3

Even if they do know how to fix things or mow the lawn/shovel snow, those aren't things that are done every single day whereas the tasks they expect from women are constant. And that is the best case scenario, if they're not putting off a task for months or fucking it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 12:53 AM
7

I am in my 40s and I am only too happy to know that my age is shitbag repellent LOL. Never has it been someone saying it to me personally, to my face, either. So why care about the opinion who doesn't know me from a hole in the ground?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 07:26 PM
4

Not like there wasn't a whole movie franchise surrounding a guy that stuck his dick in a pie or anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 07:10 PM
3

I was thinking George Sodini, the guy that shot up an LA Fitness ten years or so ago because women wouldn't date him. And women manage to go through all kinds of shit without becoming the next Aileen Wuornos. SMH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 06:29 PM
3

"Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft. He also has a website. I have a copy of the book and the last time I read it, I had to put it down and walk away from it a few times. That and Gavin De Becker's "The Gift Of Fear" should be on every woman's bookshelf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 01:09 AM
2

I actually was told I was overthinking when I told someone that I wasn't interested in his offer of casual sex (especially after he told me what he was into). Let me see...do I like the way I am being spoken to, yes or no? The answer is no. Not much to think about. And I know damn well I am not a prude or whatever else, I just do not need to prove it to everyone and anyone who is interested. If a guy is three times the age of your average high school sophomore and still has the same mentality an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 07:28 PM
6

They really do believe this. Years ago there was this guy I worked with that looked like Ron Jeremy, and one time a bunch of us were out drinking and I told him LOL. He took it as a compliment. Good Lord.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 10:46 PM
5

Ain't that the truth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:21 PM
3

I'm sure the guys that pull this shit wouldn't like to be constantly reminded how they are not the richest or most attractive or funny ones out there. If some guy wants to say some stupid shit like that to me, he can feel free to exercise those options ASAP and get the fuck out. They want to piss and moan about their height or their income and every damn thing else, but the thing that's the easiest to control - how they treat people-seems like such a challenge. It's a compliment, not a vital org…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 03:36 AM
4

The problem is too many guys confuse the two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 12:52 PM
24

I think you hit the nail right on the head there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 07:33 PM
11

Because they are a bunch of lowlife degenerates that want to abuse and sexually assault women and not have to deal with the consequences. Poor babies. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 06:41 PM
1

That's fuckin' nasty. Does anything else really need to be said?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 04:28 AM
2

Don't be sorry for telling your story. The ones who should be truly sorry in these scenarios never are. Here is hoping that you continue to live your best life and that the bastards that inflict this kind of abuse get everything they deserve in life, and then some.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 11:25 PM
2

I am twice your age and I haven't been in school in 20 years. I am going to do it again. There are so many people out there much older that are going back to school and even changing entire careers. Please, if it what you really want to do, go for it. It's better to try and fail than to never know what could have been.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 04:02 PM
1

There are other ways to get 2 incomes besides a relationship/marriage. And if you have one income that's big enough, you don't need two. I don't want to be with someone that I wouldn't be interested in if he lost his job. And one quality parent is better than two that can't put aside their bullshit to raise their children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 02:29 PM
3

Same here. I wish I could go tell my past self she had nothing to worry about. Any guy that's turned off by my age (and I know it's not because of the way I look) is looking to pull some shit I will not tolerate. And they find out very quickly if they are even dumb enough to try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 02:02 PM
2

If it does, I want to do it too. He should be less worried about defending himself on Quora and more concerned about defending himself in court. Dumbass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 01:11 PM
3

True. I wouldn't give him a reason to retaliate, and all the guy is going to do is say that you are crazy. I won't put someone's shit online, but if someone approaches me and asks me about one of my exes, I will tell them the truth and show them the documentation. When someone's infatuated, they won't listen anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 12:29 PM
3

I am glad you are having great results! I am sort of the opposite in that I was diagnosed bipolar a few years ago. At one point I was on 6 different medications. Weird thing is since I cut out all the bullshit people in my life, I have needed any meds! I still go to therapy and will continue to do because it is working. If in the future I feel I do need them, i will use them, but right now I don't. And if what you're doing is having such great results, keep it up! You deserve to feel great. We a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 11:38 AM
2

This is one thing I really like about being in my 40s and having a good gynecologist. I told her straight out, I don't have kids nor do I want them. I was leaning toward Essure, but she gave me several options, and I chose a hormonal IUD because it was a quick outpatient visit, reliable, and reversible (not that I need it to be, but some women might). Plus, if guys would actually think past the end of their noses, it is a method I can prove to the guy I have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 07:35 PM
9

An ex-friend of mine used my engagement at the time as leverage for nagging her then-boyfriend into giving her a half-assed proposal while she was in the shower. Her social media profile for a while was a picture of her left hand with a cheap ring on her finger. She reminded me of that hen Prissy from the Looney Tunes cartoons - "I got one! I got one!" Like it's all that hard to get a man if you're not that particular with what you end up with. I never did marry my fiance (now ex) and let me tel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 07:19 PM
2

I just subscribed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 03:17 AM
2

Same here. I found out that the county I live in has a docket search for civil cases, but when I look at the one I had from a few years ago, it didn't come up. Not on that site or the state portal. I even typed in the case number from my paperwork, and nothing. So yeah, even if you look him up and get no search results, that doesn't necessarily mean nothing happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 12:07 AM
1

Because it does not affect them personally. Plain and simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 06:19 PM
5

I am so done with women like this. My fuse is long, but it is not infinite. It is absolutely none of my business how people choose to conduct their lives, nor should it be. But there is a saying. The right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins. It is one thing if these women want to subjugate themselves for some jackass that is barely worth the air he breathes and the space he takes up. But - I will be completely honest with you - when they try to influence the rest of us to tolerate this…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:29 PM
4

$120k and he lives with his parents?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 10:38 AM
1

I'm spending part of my birthday tomorrow on a three hour livestream for a women's equality organization called Supermajority. There are a lot of prominent speakers and I am really excited to see what transpires. It sounds like there's going to be some fun, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 12:46 PM
6

Same here. Early church, late church, choir, Sunday school, etc. When I was a kid, if I did sneak a cookie or something, my parents used the "a little birdie told me.." when I was confronted, so at an early age I figured I could never get away with shit, so why even try. The only "lie" I tell people is "I'm fine" when I'm really not, but I wouldn't do something like misrepresent my entire being, or say something to someone and then turn around and deny right to their face that I ever said it. So…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 11:19 PM
5

That's the shit we needed during the 2016 debates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:40 AM
2

I don't know about that. I get what you are saying because I am slow to trust people myself, but I have an issue with faulting the person that made the mistake of trusting the wrong person. Whether or not someone misrepresents themselves to others has nothing to do with the person being lied to and everything to do with the person doing the lying. I'm all about empowering oneself to listen and act on that inner voice that tells you something isn't right, but people who refuse to act in good fait…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 12:35 AM
10

That would be an awesome idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:40 AM
14

What Have You Done For Me Lately?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:39 AM
15

"And in exchange for all that, I'll convert oxygen to carbon dioxide". GTFOH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:38 AM
50

Not by their own daughters, though. I've had a couple guys tell me as much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:27 AM
2

This is why, to this day, I still feel uncomfortable being alone in private with a guy I am not attracted to, unless he is a relative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:49 PM
4

The fact that there are enough of these stories to keep ID and other true crime networks running for decades just goes to show that these things don't "just happen to someone else".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 05:30 PM
193

Yeah. That never sit well with me. At, say, one date a week, that's an intimate act with someone you've known for three weeks. If someone wants to have sex with someone they've known for an hour, it's not my place to judge, but "choice" includes the option to say no, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:35 PM
1

LOL, bet this asshole thinks Chef Boyardee is authentic Italian, too. Someone should tell him that he doesn't have to pollute the air with every stupid thought that meanders through his head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 07:49 PM
15

Yup. I knew one like that too. She wanted a tattoo at one time but her husband said he would divorce her if she got one. Hey, if she thinks his manager's salary at Auto Zone is worth more than her freedom, more power to her, I guess. She's a real winner too, though. I finally got sick of the stupid shit that would come out of her mouth and blocked her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 07:25 PM
12

I'm the crazy cat lady stereotype. It is a highly underrated lifestyle. TBH, I can't even say "crazy" anymore because I've been pretty even-keeled since I tossed the trash from my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:08 PM
6

This sort of thing just pisses me off to no end. How can someone who claims to care about someone and look out for their best interests give advice like this? Damn. Never in a million years would I tell someone to diminish themselves and actively work against their own self-preservation. I mean, I have an idea why they do it; I just no longer care about that as much as I care that they do it, period. As tempted as I am to go scorched earth on some of these people, it's a lot less effort to cut t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 04:56 PM
61

Hey, fuck it, let them win their "prize". They can keep the LVM distracted and clear our path to bigger and better things. I can fill out a survey for Burger King, get my free Whopper, and know in my heart of hearts that I got the better deal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:10 PM
6

You took the worlds right out of my mouth. All the other benefits (sex, cooking, etc) are a distant second to what you just said. THAT is their primary MO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 03:53 PM
3

And they can stop interrupting, too. LOL, what are they so scared of that they've got to keep it coming out of my mouth? They don't much like that. Oh well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 01:20 PM
6

Same. Even if you appeal to only 1% of the population, in the grand scheme of things, that is still a whole lot of people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 11:37 PM
21

I've dated two guys like this. My response ranged anywhere from privately saying "you're saying pretentious when I think you mean presumptuous" to "alrighty there, Archie Bunker". At least I got a chuckle out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 11:14 PM
6

Yup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 10:19 PM
2

I'm all ears!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 07:33 PM
35

There is a female psychologist out there that brands herself as being a shrink for men. She has her own website with that name. I am extremely embarrassed to say that I've told a couple of guys about it. I snapped out of that nonsense the instant I realized these guys were completely full of shit. Not that they ever saw the website because they were too lazy to look, so there's at least that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 07:30 PM
1

Just to throw another option out there, Robert Weiss has articles and also a book about "prodependency". I have not yet read the book, but I have read some of the articles. there is also a website, which I didn't know existed until right now, actually. It addresses the same behaviors, but it's based on attachment theory rather than trauma theory. Not to take away from anyone who's been helped by the codependency model, but it's an alternative for those for whom that model doesn't quite resonate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 07:17 PM
15

I forget who it was on FDS, but whoever said that Jesus was not a doormat changed my life. That was such a game changer for me and who knows who else was raised by people that used the Bible to abuse others and justify their own shitty behavior. Don't get me wrong. I still like to help people. But I'm letting go of the overdeveloped sense of responsibility and guilt that I never needed to burden myself to being with. I can understand that people sometimes fall on tough times through no fault of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 06:40 PM
25

There have been studies that showed that men objectified women ever more after having access to a sex doll. If anyone here is morbidly curious, take a gander at The Real Doll FAQs. Spoiler alert: Dudes are fucked up in the head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 05:07 PM
70

If I would have gone through with it, I would most likely be in an orange jumpsuit right about now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 03:39 PM
12

Guys that want to challenge you to prove to them that you are not a bot/catfish Guys in their mid-40s and up who "may want kids/more kids" Guys that have a woman with them in their profile pic. What's up with that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 03:35 PM
6

All the time and energy they spend to learn these techniques when it is so much easier just to be a decent fucking person. Even if I should live to be 100, this is one thing I will just never understand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 03:19 PM
9

Here are some of mine: Going on YouTube and learning dancehall dance steps from A-Z Practicing special effects looks from Pinterest. Learning Spanish on Duolingo Going on GovTrack to become better informed as to the bills our leaders are trying to pass through Congress. Watching TEDx talks Taking a class on Coursera Breathing new life into thrift store furniture (stickerbombing, paint, resin, etc) I'm always open to new ones :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:50 PM
1

Not only that, I am curious as to how LVM CONTRIBUTE to those very same health problems that they leave the women for?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 01:49 PM
10

Some LVM like dogs, not because they want to take care of and love an animal, but because they are loyal to the point where you can treat them any kind of way and they still come back. I have actually heard these sentiments come out of a guy's mouth more than once. Needless to say they are WAY out of my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 01:21 PM
9

It's been four months since I deactivated social media, and it is just awesome! No more feeling bad looking at and comparing myself to others' highlight reels. No more insane political BS from people that aren't the least bit interested in having a civil conversation. No more DMs from married guys bitching about their lack of sex life. I keep in contact with a few people who have strong boundaries and their heads in the right place and blocked the rest. There was a point in my life not too long …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 01:16 PM
2

I guess the most dramatic example would be a guy I felt weird about when I was 15, who I later found on the sex offender registry in my late 30s when I was looking for a house. Other than that, nothing too crazy. A guy I dumped when I was 20 is in his mid 40s and still lives with his parents. Another has a shit job and anger issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:51 PM
6

I used to think that too, but I've done a lot of Monday morning quarterbacking when my relationships failed, and there was always something that seemed inoccuous at the time, but made sense later as part of a pattern of shitty behavior. Sometimes it pays to tell the "rational" part of the brain to shut up and pay attention to that sinking feeling that something isn't right. And the times I've gotten rid of a guy the first time he fucked up, I've regretted it initially, but down the road somethin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 10:50 PM
20

They call it being judgmental, I call it being discerning. They can kick rocks if they don't like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:50 PM
7

LOL, anyone here ever look up a word you already know the definition of, just on the off-chance that there's some obscure meaning of which you were not aware? I just did, because the whole part about being fingered for 2 minutes and the "immaculate" sex being the reason she keeps going back- did he clean under his fingernails or something?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:43 PM
5

This is an ability that I really need to develop, or at least give more credence to. In the past I guess I dismissed it because I really needed proof. Then the other day I'm thinking, I'm not arguing a court case FFS, just determining who I do and don't want to spend time with. It doesn't have to be that complicated. Every single time I got a feeling that someone or something was "off", it always turned out to be justified. Maybe not right away, maybe years later, but it's always happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:34 PM
3

Oh, I completely agree. Women aren't exempt from owning their own shit. And it is for that very reason that I replied to your original post. If the intent was to address the harm these women cause by spreading and perpetuating these toxic beliefs, I can totally get behind that - but that was not apparent in what you said. It's not until someone called your post out for being victim-blamey that you provided clarification. That is what I have an issue with. Look, there's always going to be a facti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:58 PM
84

I've heard guys on OLD complaining about women who are "probably taking to 100 other guys". Whoa, slow down there, partner. We haven't even met yet and you're this possessive? That certainly doesn't bode well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:24 PM
3

How about we focus less on why women feel the need to fix men and do a better job as individuals and as a society of holding them accountable for their shitty behavior? The tactics these guys use are abusive, and there is not one person on this planet that is totally impervious to this influence, especially not since so much in our society cosigns it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:44 PM
5

As a second language, maybe?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:55 AM
2

You can tell by the comments who doesn't measure up LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:01 AM
2

Let's see...to make mine I would need a screen shot of the Experian report with NO score, a case of Coors Light, a turd with a word bubble to represent the shit he talked about people who were doing better than he was, an empty fridge, a gas-guzzling POS sports car, either a jackhammer or a mostly empty glass ketchup bottle (I told him on time he fucked like someone trying to smack the last of the ketchup out of the bottle) and I am sure there's more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:34 AM
1

I've had the opposite experience, strangely enough. The LVM I dated had sisters (and they liked using that as a "selling point") OTOH, the two guys I know that are most empathetic toward women and actually call LVM on their shit behavior are both the eldest of 4 brothers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:18 AM
3

If "society" actually operated in a healthy, constructive manner, I'd start to give a shit about what they have to say LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:11 AM
2

I bet they'd stop being minimalist pretty fucking fast if they came into some money or somehow got an offer for some free shit. Interesting to see how their "principles" fall apart if they are challenged the least little bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:11 PM
2

I did that and cut off about 90% of the people I associated with. Eh, well. Quality over quantity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 09:41 PM
1

God, what a piece of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 04:28 AM
1

Okay. The more I read these stories, the less I want any man coming near me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 03:41 AM
28

That, and eating salad. When did salads become a feminine thing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:17 PM
6

It's been said that forgiveness is supposed to be for your benefit, not the other person's. The concept is pushed a lot in therapy and religion. Believe me, I get what they are trying to say, and I respect their knowledge, but there are some times when forgiveness is just not appropriate. If someone is deliberately doing the same shit over and over again and shows no remorse, to me, forgiveness is just like throwing gasoline on the fire. JMHO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:31 PM
7

I know this is probably a rhetorical question, but I would say that they most likely have people in their lives that have either approved of their behavior, or at the very least didn't call them out on their bullshit. If nobody put up with it at all, they'd have to behave differently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:09 PM
5

Same. There is music I used to like listening to because it has a good beat or flow or whatever, but I'm changing it up because the media you consume does tend to affect you in some way. Sorry if I sound like an old fart, but the "new" hip hop, ugh, just do not care for it. I remember when there was a giant shitstorm surrounding groups like NWA and 2 Live Crew, yet it seems like every other song out there today is just as bad, if not worse. A lot of pop music is the same way. Country, IDK, I've …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:00 PM
7

The cool thing about the word "spinster" is that it originated from the times when women spun wool, and became a pejorative because these women earned their own money and therefore did not have to depend on a man to survive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:39 PM
3

It's quote possible that the "help" he offers is a form of control. It sounds like you already know that though. You can always block or ignore the calls. Not sure what to do about the work situation if it's one where you serve the general public and can't bar him from going there, for example. Ask yourself how often do you really need his help, and if these are things you can either do yourself, pay someone else to do, find someone else to help, or do without. I am not a huge fan of going throu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:28 PM
2

I don't send breakup songs (what purpose does that serve?) but at times I will listen to "our song" on repeat and cry it out to desensitize myself. Or listen to something that I usually don't, to create new memories for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:15 PM
5

It's really tempting to take things at face value and say "Hmm. He has a good job/a degree/is fit/goes to church/volunteers/gets along with his mother/is generous/is nice to the waitstaff/opens the car door for me/is popular/etc. Bear with me because I am still learning and figuring things out. What I have learned, and am learning, is that good things take time, and there are no shortcuts. I am not saying the things I mentioned are not important, just that they are insufficient to really judge s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:12 PM
7

Some social media is fine, but too much is a no-go. I feel the same way you do with Tik-Tok or Snapchat when it comes to someone who is well into adulthood. No one where alcohol plays a significant part in their social endeavors. Even if they are not full-blown alcoholics, it gives me concern when every or most outings include drinking. I don't care if it is socially acceptable. Political beliefs are important to me. So are the people they choose to admire. I cannot get behind someone who ignore…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:46 PM
1

Ugh. Sorry you are going through that. Guys take advantage because they can. It has nothing to do with what the woman did or didn't do. I have no idea what your situation is with this guy, but the less you are exposed to his BS, the better. Maybe ask yourself, what keeps you in communication with this person? Whatever it is, is it something you can achieve in another manner? How can you eliminate or at least minimize the damage that he has done and is doing to you? Where and from whom can you re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:33 PM
22

Plus, some guys use a shitty backstory to excuse eventually treat women like shit and avoid accountability. Even if therapy isn't a practical consideration at the moment, there are support groups and other resources out there. But then they would actually have to own their shit, oh noes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 01:13 AM
11

The way guys like this think astounds me. I had an ex say that if he moved in with me, it wouldn't be fair to have him pay toward my mortgage. Uh, like he wouldn't be paying toward someone else's mortgage if he lived somewhere else?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 01:07 AM
8

Same here. The last thing I would ever want to do is fuck up the life of someone that didn't even ask to be here. I would never be able to forgive myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:55 PM
3

Thanks to this post right here, I Googled "Jesus was not a doormat" and I am going to hopefully learn something to help address some of the toxic messages I received when I was young in the name of religion. Another resource to help level up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:22 PM
4

Wow. Thank you for posting this. I so needed to read this today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 04:37 AM
12

Like your username You very concisely explained how I feel right now. And the anger is palpable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 03:52 AM
11

My dad's 64 year old corpse looked better than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 01:36 AM
8

LOL, I am in my mid 40s and life has been my best resource.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 01:08 AM
22

I have tattoos and I am all about self-expression, but job-stoppers are where I draw the line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 04:23 PM
3

I made it through exactly 11 seconds of that shit LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 04:21 PM
11

Right now I am on the comeback trail from being a Barb the Builder. What kicked it off was getting a new job and being surrounded by people that are positive, helpful, and motivated. I also cut out social media and a bunch of toxic people. Those things right there have greatly improved my mental state and save me hundreds of dollars a month in health care costs, believe it or not. Since I got off of social media, my concentration is back in full force and I am reading books and taking online cla…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 04:19 PM
45

Years ago before I bought my house, I was looking at the registry in zip codes where I was interested in purchasing. My ex was with me and as we were looking at the list, he says "I know that guy!" I looked and I knew who it was too. It happened to be a guy I dated for a (really) short time when I was 15 and he was 18 (yeah) and distanced myself because he gave me the heebie-jeebies. He followed me into my high school at one time after that. One of my stupid pick-me friends started dating him no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 03:08 PM
5

I'm working on not prefacing my statements with self-deprecating shit like "This may sounds crazy/stupid, but..." and just coming out with what I have to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:43 AM
7

I am re-reading Nice Girls Don't Get Rich by Lois P. Frankel. The book delves into the falsehoods that we are taught about finance as young girls. Suze Orman is another good author to check out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 12:41 PM
2

I love hip hop dance, but lately have been practicing reggaeton and dancehall as well. It doesn't even feel like exercise!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 07:04 PM
25

Reproductive coercion is a thing. That's why I am all about women getting contraception that cannot be tampered with. I have a hormonal IUD and it is the best shit ever. No periods for the past three years, it's reversible if you ever do want to conceive, and you can prove you have one. The worst part was when they clamped the cervix and the insertion was just like a bad cramp. Felt a little yucky the next day but that was it. Best birthday present I ever gave myself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 05:18 AM
17

Never seen it, but I am guessing Audrie Potts? I saw her story on the ID Channel and I was so pissed that the three boys just got probation. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 05:10 AM
1

r/DecidingToBeBetter is another one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 05:00 AM
2

LOL, it's this molecular gastronomy kit with pipettes and powders where you can make stuff like gel spaghetti and balsamic vinegar pearls. That also reminds me - years ago, I used to be into making natural hair and skin care preparations also. I still have the books, but I threw a lot of stuff out. Maybe I will get back to it someday!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 03:31 AM
2

Right now, thanks to the inspiring ladies here, I am on Duolingo learning Spanish, taking online courses, re-reading some of the books I have around here, and dancing. I also have a molecular cuisine kit I bought a while back and never used, so I would like to play around with that. Next up is yard work and getting back into yoga/weightlifting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:44 AM
2

You and me both.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:08 PM
9

It's not on Pandora either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:24 PM
1

Groupon is the bomb dot com! Even with COVID there are tons of deals on there for online learning. And everything else can be wishlisted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:22 PM
10

If you get the chance, check out The Game by Neil Strauss. It is about a writer's foray into the PUA community. It's like their Bible - gilded pages and everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:15 PM
11

If I get to the point where I get sick of reading about POS men, I just click on the flairs like Level Up and read those.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:41 AM
17

Yep. Even if he's one in a million, there are almost 8000 just like him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:37 AM
27

My mother would accuse me of needing to be in control when I would calmly and clearly state a boundary. After I read r/raisedbynarcissists, a lot of things started to make sense to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:04 AM
5

It couldn't hurt to have a list on hand of food banks and homeless shelters when these guys start up with their sob stories. Just saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:32 AM
12

I'm wondering why he is trying to get her to drink something that tastes like a beverage that she is trying to avoid? Alcohol or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:17 AM
9

Same. It's like trying to nail spaghetti to a wall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 05:38 PM
20

My response to "what about men?" used to be to ask them what steps they were taking to rectify the so-called "oppression" that they face. Crickets. Now I just block. 9 times out of 10, the issues that they face are completely avoidable, and/or are the natural consequences of their own actions. I refuse to entertain their BS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:19 PM
40

They can't remember to pick an item up from the store, etc. but they have the presence of mind to remember someone's name and then search social media so that they can rub one out? SMH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 12:37 PM
10

Like bananas!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 10:28 PM
5

The cybersecurity one? If you Google Intel Techniques, it is the first result.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 03:33 AM
9

Sometimes you don't even need a date of birth. I've found more info omitting it. There was a record on someone I looked up and the birthdate was off for a few days. I also found one where the guy was a Jr. and his daddy wasn't shit either. The things you learn purely by accident.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 03:07 AM
4

Registered sex offender
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:48 AM
2

I called 911 on a neighbor who passed out outside once. Turns out she was actually having a seizure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:54 AM
27

Holy shit, that's awful. Just when you think it can't get any worse...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:40 AM
1

No, they won't. Especially given that they have a worse record for perpetrating DV than the NFL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:55 PM
11

Apparently it's common enough that it's called the 13th Step. For that reason, and others, I suggest SMART Recovery as an alternative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:08 PM
9

Oh yeah. NETR Online is good for that. It's not 100% because some of the links are subscription only, but it's another thing to try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 09:56 PM
45

I do that too. Both my state portal and the registry. Crazy story. I went out on a couple dates with someone before the pandemic. I don't know what possessed me to do this, but I was on the registry site one day just searching by zip code. While I was on the site, I was talking to this guy over Messenger. And I told him what I was doing. Guess what I found not five minutes after I said that? Blocked in the middle of the convo. That pissed me off enough, but what made me furious is that a couple …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 06:36 PM
13

If you don't want to do it, you don't. He'll respect it or he won't. You just tell him the same thing you told us. Just don't get too attached to the outcome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 06:00 AM
144

I am not about to prove him wrong LOL. Take me to a hotel with a continental breakfast if you want to eat like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 01:39 AM
9

There is a 10 panel test at Let's Get Checked that tests for the following: chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV, herpes simplex I & II, ureaplasma, mycoplasma, gardneralla and trichomoniasis. There are also separate tests for Hep B and C. I ran the gamut after this NVM I was with and I refuse to let anyone touch me until they prove they are damn well worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 01:13 AM
6

He isn't sorry. Apologies without changed behavior are just manipulation. This guy is getting his rocks off on injuring this woman. This is abuse. If this woman was all tore up under any other circumstances, it would be assault. I would be formulating my escape plan, but that's just me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 12:30 AM
22

LOL. That's the way I am going to read that acronym from now on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 07:47 PM
9

What do I feel about men like this? I don't. There are maybe about 3-4 people right now that I talk to with any regularity because the rest of them don't seem to want to do anything to improve their station in life. It really sucks if they don't feel good about themselves, but that is not for me to fix. I have worked and am working hard on myself and if they don't want to do the same for themselves? Fuck 'em. Maybe when the pain of the consequences of their own actions/inactions exceeds the bene…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 05:48 PM
24

Me too. And she had the gall to wonder aloud why I've had trouble with boundaries and assertiveness. Went NC and stress is way down. Onward and upward!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:15 AM
54

Is prude another work we need to reclaim? I read that the word originates from Old French prudefemme, meaning worthy or respectable woman. I'll take it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 04:10 AM
11

Let's see...initiative, sense of personal responsibility, consistency, humility, empathy, morality, desire for personal growth, resourcefulness, self awareness, kindness...not all-inclusive and in no particular order.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 12:33 AM
30

I thought their mantra was "safe, sane, and consensual" ? This behavior is abhorrent and none of those three things. It is straight up assault and guys like this belong in a zoo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:58 PM
8

No sense in beating yourself up for the past as you can't change it. Only thing that you can do is learn from it and keep moving forward. And above all, be kind to yourself. The lessons that most of us learn from society today are so toxic and pervasive that for us to not have internalized al least some of it would be highly unusual. You got this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 08:04 PM
27

Wow. That went from 0-100 really quickly. If that's not a bullet dodged, I don't know what is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:22 PM
2

Love it. That phrase is going on my fridge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 05:41 PM
33

I echo all of this, and I would also make your workplace aware of the situation and provide them with a photo. I've had to do it, and I felt embarrassed, but you are not in the wrong here. Document everything. And stay strong. You did good!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 04:25 PM
9

While I am really happy that he will experience SOME consequences, I get the nagging feeling that his experience in prison will empower him to do even worse shit once he gets out. JMO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:13 PM
5

About three months ago, I really gave it some thought and decided to deactivate my social media. Even with blocking and unfollowing and leaving groups, it just seemed like there was still so much left that I just did not want to expose myself to. And, for privacy and safety reasons, I just think that it is a good idea to keep a low profile. People put way too much of their business out there, and there are just too many loose cannons that can't handle a disagreement and want to enact their reven…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 10:43 PM
5

I don't know much about it, but couldn't something like this fall under some sort of personal injury?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 07:03 PM
3

The most I have ever weighed is 150 and I wore a size 6 at average height. I am caring less and less very day about these guy's opinions. And I refuse to call them men because to me, that would imply that they have integrity, ambition, and a whole host of other attributes that these fools lack.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:11 PM
3

At least you can put that on a resume or a Linked In profile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 05:48 PM
3

LOL, I got an intro from someone my age who looked like Captain Spaulding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:05 AM
11

Yeah, I was gonna say. Without the blowjobs of course, this sounds way too much like mothering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 09:12 PM
4

Love this post. Not sure where in the book it is, but in Why Does He Do That? a guy was using biology or nature as an excuse for his behavior, and Lundy Bancroft asked him if he cooks his food before he eats it. He cuts through ALL the bullshit, and even though this isn't about an abuse situation, I think what he has to say still applies. Great book, and not one meant to be read just once and put on the shelf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:28 AM
7

LOL you can go on Poshmark, apply filters for clothing type, size and color and probably get the same exact one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 06:56 PM
2

Read about sunk cost fallacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 07:32 PM
1

I remember her from In Living Color.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 07:13 PM
8

That would be absolutely beautiful. These guys - well, most of them - wouldn't dream of acting like this in front of their mother, or their boss, or a client, so I know there's at least a little common sense in there. Whatever though process that leads them to believe that it's OK to say abhorrent shit to women they don't even or barely know, it just leaves me shaking my head. I'm sure if they experienced actual consequences for it though they would at least think twice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 04:50 PM
8

We've got to disabuse ourselves of this notion because it's beliefs like this because it leaves us vulnerable to lowering our standards and tolerating shit we shouldn't every time we approach a milestone birthday or find a single gray hair or whatever. It's hard for it to at least not get under your skin because the attitude is so pervasive, even though our own two eyes and basic observation skills tells us it is 100% BS. The women I've known since my teens and early 20s pretty much look the sam…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 04:32 PM
5

Okay. I just have to say this. Some of these guys, the way they act and their sexual proclivities may increase their chances of going to actual jail. You'd think they'd come to that realization and learn how to act.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 03:10 PM
22

Or bandanas. LOL. A friend of mine and I were joking about this. Or they have a picture where the top of their head is cropped out. If a guy doesn't have at least one picture without a hat, one picture smiling (with teeth), and one full body shot, I wonder what he is hiding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 01:17 PM
26

The Gift Of Fear starts out with a story about a woman that was trying to carry her groceries to her upstairs apartment. A guy insisted on helping her until she gave in and let him, and he ended up raping her for hours. I think he actually ended up killing a woman later on. And I recall a story elsewhere in which a guy would keep a baby seat in his car to look less threatening to women. I forget where I read it or who it was about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 09:35 PM
5

Not only that, those things are not cheap. I'm not a gamer, but it's not hard to find out what a game console and games cost. One time I was looking at sports jerseys for a bf I had at the time and I just about shit at the price. Figure in the price of pay-per-view and tickets and all of that adds up. And these same guys will bitch about us getting our nails done or buying a handbag with our own money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 05:43 PM
5

I live right by a high school and I don't hear all the horn honking and hollering I heard back in the 90s, and I thought it's because this younger generation had it drummed into their heads that this is harassment. Your theory about smartphones is probably more likely. It's not that they learned how to act, it's that they don't want the repercussions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 03:04 PM
2

At least it was only one date. There was an episode where the guy married his wife just to get on her dental insurance and tried to pick up all the rice off the ground after the ceremony. For their 25th anniversary his gift to her was some dead flowers and a teapot he dug out of some dumpster. Appalling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 02:47 PM
8

This post reminds me of a guy I dated right after high school, whose father would say things like he was going to trade his wife (40s) for two twenties. The poor woman was on a shitload of medications for depression and other health issues and would work 14 hour days and otherwise hole herself up in the bedroom probably just to stay away from him. One time a debt collector called and left a message on the answering machine. He forgot to hang up, and what followed was at least a good five minutes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 02:27 PM
4

Yeah, but then their go-to response is some crack about Arby's or throwing a hotdog down a hallway or some other bullshit that I don't think any woman wants to hear, even if it isn't true. I used to try to "educate" guys that act like this, but even that is a waste of time. They won't listen or learn anything. Now I just block and just let them keep fucking up with every women they talk to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 01:21 PM
4

Yeah. I'm not about that shit either. It says a lot about a guy's priorities when he can rattle off names of porn stars and sports stats and beat the high score on a video game, but knows nothing about budgeting, nutrition, fitness, or anything else that is actually going to upgrade his life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 11:46 PM
27

Same. I don't know too many well-adjusted, mentally healthy women that are up for what basically amounts to assault in the bedroom. And the guys out there that deliberately seek out vulnerable women like this so that they can further their pornsick agenda are lower than whale shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 08:33 PM
16

Exactly. It's not all like we start looking like Alice from the Brady Bunch the second we hit a milestone birthday. The women I knew in high school don't look markedly different than they did almost 30 years later. The guys, however... And to your point, if you're not frequenting venues where people go to meet, and you've developed a certain style and body language to discourage unwanted attention, you are going to get less overall. But you'll get less of the bad shit too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 07:08 PM
18

You can do a search with their Instagram username and sometimes you'll get hits on other social media and websites. If a guy in his late 30s/40s has a Snapchat or TikTok, it's a no from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 06:40 PM
16

Absolutely, and the older you are, the more important it is. And the specifics that you mentioned aren't immutable or superficial like height that guys like to bitch about. These are behaviors and attributes with serious consequences that will spill over in the lives of the women that these guys get close to, and furthermore, these are situations that a guy has some control over and I would say are largely avoidable. Why are we, as women, expected to act against our own interests? That's bullshi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 06:26 PM
26

Yup. That and lots of emojis. I am in my mid 40's, and when I see this shit from guys my age, I just assume that he is extremely immature, or that I am not exactly the demographic he is targeting, if you get my drift.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 05:48 PM
73

I almost posted something along these lines on a thread about porn. You'd think that they would be consistent with something like that in every aspect of their lives. You mean to tell me that these guys know a hot girl when they see one, but can't do shit about their living quarters or what they see in the mirror?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 05:39 PM
3

Sister Thank you. I don't know. Maybe it's because I have really been through some shit in the past few years, but it's really taught me not to take a guy who is very attentive/generous in the beginning at face value. If at any point you just get the gut feeling that something is just off, please listen to it. Don't dismiss it as paranoia. Watch what you tell this guy, and be wary of a guy that wants to help you with your finances or do shit for you around your house this early in the game. Espe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 05:03 PM
2

I do that. Or I put on a rubber glove and remove it that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:20 AM
29

Huh? How is a woman with an apartment and a good job a hobosexual? I thought that was a term for guys that date because they need a place to stay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 09:12 PM
83

Or worse, she was borderline passed out drunk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 07:35 PM
3

You can tell a lot about a guy by the way he reacts when he doesn't get his own way. He has two choices: take it or leave it. Anything else is an attempt to manipulate and gaslight you so that he can get what he wants with the least amount of resistance. It is also straight up disrespect. You are not a prude, nor are you overthinking, and even if you were, who cares? You really have to consider the source with these guys. I swear. I am convinced that these guys take the worst that humanity has t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 07:30 PM
12

A couple of things stood out to me, only because I have been through something similar, and I have some of the same issues you mentioned. My LVM/NVM ex also made a show about being open with his devices, and he also would make comments about disrespectful men. Neither of these things with any prompting from me. His motivation could very well have been to try to manage your perception of him as a trustworthy person so that you would second-guess yourself when he invariably started acting shady. T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 10:42 PM
3

Absolutely. I'd rather find out what I am dealing with right from the jump instead of waiting until I get suspicious. If I have little to nothing invested, it's much easier to cut someone off if I find something unsavory. I use Google and Bing to search people and their usernames. Court records. Even the sex offender registry. And I have found an absolute ton of shit on people. Assault charges, child support judgments, multiple DUIs, thirsty dudes trying to shoot their shit at Instagram models, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:39 PM
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