| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 105 | he wants a FWB that acts like a GF or who eventually falls in love with him. he wants the GF experience on his terms and with zero investment. how about ... no!I HATE the term “friends with benefits.” You know what a benefit is? Healthcare. 401k matching. Paid vacation. Having sex with a dude who doesn’t even respect you is. Not. A. Benefit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/22 07:06 PM |
| 18 | Vetting strategy – women's periods“Not worth the brain cell effort.” Love that, it says it all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/22 03:12 AM |
| 12 | What's everyone's MBTI type?INTJ. I’ve never been too interested in men (more interested in books, haha- I have turned down many dates to read books I was excited about) but this sub has really opened my eyes to how malicious and callous a lot of men are. I previously thought a lot of men were just mediocre and incompetent (but comparatively harmless) and I didn’t want them in my life. This sub taught me to be more careful, because many men are not only mediocre and incompetent, but dangerous and deceptive. Of course there… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 11:08 PM |
| 10 | anyone here ever just declared war with a man?Don’t declare war. Declare sanctions. Just remove him from your life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 10:53 PM |
| 32 | Men Telling on ThemselvesEww, it’s even worse when it’s FatFire. Then it’s not even about healthcare or living a decent life (bad enough.) Those guys are “pimping out their wives”, as you said it, for pure materialistic greed. Honestly, I sometimes think really high income men are worse than “normal” upper middle class men. There’s this weird self-centered obsession with having more and more money. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/21 03:35 AM |
| 75 | FDS organizations?I’ve found that organizations for “career women” seem to have a higher concentration of FDS women. Some of these ladies have fought tooth and claw through all sorts of sexism to get where they are, and see helping other women as a big part of their mission. This isn’t true for everyone (there’s always the person who kicks down the ladder on her way to the top) but I’ve met a lot of strong, inspiring, kind women in professional organizations and through my career. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/21 07:31 PM |
| 157 | Men Telling on ThemselvesYes! The world needs more FI queens! I’m also into financial independence. There are so many men who talk about reaching financial independence themselves and just staying at home doing nothing while their SOs work (“because it’s my money!”) Never mind all the household labor, emotional labor, and support these women contributed over years of their relationship (and the fact that their job provides affordable healthcare for the couple.) Never mind that the fact that they’re splitting expenses is… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/21 07:24 PM |
| 18 | Why some guys can't accept being platonic friends (and get mad when rejected)Just a warning: just because he acts publicly HVM at work does not mean he’s an HVM in his personal life. I had a LVM “mentor” who “respected” and praised me publicly but sexually harassed me when no one was watching. Even with friends and colleagues, never stop vetting and drop him the instant any you feel uncomfortable- that is your intuition telling you something. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/21 04:30 AM |
| 22 | FDSers who observed Mother's Day today, how was it? What did you notice through the FDS lense?I cannot stand this excuse. I am a “non-corporate” celebrator myself. Less so this year, because I can’t visit home during the pandemic, but in the past I have: Written a short story fictionalizing a meaningful family story from my mom’s childhood Made an elaborate handmade pop up card DIY Edible Arrangements (basically a bouquet made out of fruit) Recorded a video of the family all singing one of her favorite songs with our own instrumental arrangement Put together a special picnic and took her… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/05/21 11:13 PM |
| 78 | Probably a repost but fuck that 'friendzone' bullshit. A good friend is worth more than a good SOBeing fuckzoned is so much worse than being friendzoned. Friendzoned: oh no! She just wants to hang out, catch up with each other’s lives, mutually support and care about each other, and do fun activities that don’t involve sex! So oppressive and manipulative! Fuckzoned: He’s going to pretend to be my “friend” until I trust him, while biding his time until I’m going through a tough time in my life. And instead of supporting me like I would expect a friend would, he’s going to betray this facade … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/21 04:10 PM |
| 23 | Nothing but factsDanse Macabre by Saint-Saens | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/05/21 06:28 PM |
| 26 | Yes ladies. It's OUR fault.So accurate. I’m in my late 20s and followed this timeline to the letter! Many of my friends are in exactly the same boat. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/05/21 06:26 PM |
| 8 | The only worthwhile heterosexual relationships are where both people love each other, but the man loves the woman slightly more than she loves him.Yes!! I consider my time and energy valuable, and am selective about who I choose to spend my time with. Because this is how I’ve always lived my life, I thought men were the same. THEY ARE NOT. The fact that he texts you or calls you or wants to spend a lot of time with you has nothing to do with how much he values you. He is just lonely and his time is so worthless that he’ll spend hours chasing an ego boost. This was such a hard lesson for me to learn because it seemed crazy to me that men wh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/21 04:18 PM |
| 53 | I was lurking on a subreddit and found this "HVM" lmaoI bet he’s not going to change a thing. Guys like this can’t handle downplaying their salary because that’s literally all they have going for them. He’s giddily posting about gold diggers when he’s on the verge of crossing 100k, so you know he doesn’t have much in way of looks, personality, or assets because he’d brag about those too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/21 01:54 AM |
| 17 | When he says he loves smart/strong women...There is actual scientific evidence of this. Not that we needed it. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.indy100.com/news/what-men-think-women-smart-intelligence-sexy-psychology-study-iq-science-maths-love-relationships-7954646%3famp | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/21 04:25 AM |
| 57 | My ex was arrested marching on Washington today. Looks like the trash took itself out 🤦♀️Ask him casually, and just let him talk without giving any sign of disapproval. Usually I’ll say vaguely validating things like “Oh, that makes sense” or “that sounds interesting- tell me more.” Pretend that you’re and interviewer who wants to get a juicy quote for an article. The more they feel validated, the more they let loose and tell you everything. Most people don’t get a lot of validation for their personal views, so it’s natural for anyone to reveal more information if they feel like som… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/21 03:39 AM |
| 2 | Fellas is it gay to have sex with women?I want there to be a Sapphic robot band in 2100 called the Lesbionics. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/20 04:06 AM |
| 20 | TLDR; suspected pickme who formerly was "okay" with not "doing" dates, holidays, is sick of lack of gifts for her and her children from lvm husband. Lvm (OP) doesn't want to buy Christmas presents for his wife or kids and stands firm on it, says she should buy the giftsYes!! Every time people pull this “I don’t want to be consumerist” excuse I think of that opening scene in Little Women where Marmee and the girls spend their Christmas helping another family. What a wonderful, nonconsumerist way to spend Christmas and show the magic of Christmas to your kids. But no, this guy is probably playing video games instead of exerting the slightest bit of effort for his wife and kids (sO nOnCoNsUmErIsT). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/20 03:57 AM |
| 2 | SO sick of seeing this bullshit at this time of year. It takes a couple of YouTube tutorials to teach yourself and actually put in some effort for your loved ones.Same. I am lazy so I just use gift bags. The nice thing is that they are reusable so there’s less waste. My mom and I have been passing the same gift bag back and forth for years! 😄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/20 09:26 PM |
| 34 | She stayed with him for 3 years after he had an affair and she isn't over it and wants to know how to get over it. I felt mind f*cked reading this post. The manipulation is strong with this guy. This woman needs a rescue missionEvery time I see “rescue mission” in an FDS post I think of a FDS offshoot of The Rescuers. In her free time, Miss Bianca helps women in bad relationships leave their LVMs, learn to love themselves, and live joyful and fulfilled lives! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/20 05:37 AM |
| 21 | The Modern Man's Hatred of WomenI am in my 20s and advancing my career, and am worried that staying single into my 30s and 40s will make me “unrelatable” and less likely to be chosen for promotions. It’s great to hear that’s not the case! Congrats on the promotion and bonus! I want to be you when I grow up, haha. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/20 12:04 AM |
| 13 | Scrote doesn't want women lifting and being physically (or mentally) strong, would rather have us do our nails while listening some soft musicYeah, he’s literally criticizing women for making decisions in their best interest. For ensuring our own well-being like every animal does in nature... he’s saying, “you’re soooo selfish because you’re taking care of yourself, why don’t you sacrifice yourself to take care of meeeeeee?” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/20 01:55 AM |
| 15 | Beware of transactional niceness. Some men can play the long game, but in the end when you don’t give them what they want they’ll pull the rug out from under you.This is so terrifying. Being “nice” and doing all these things, lulling her into a sense of security, while having this in his heart the whole time. It really screws with your mind because how do you know if someone is being nice because they’re a good person or if they’re only doing it to try to manipulate you later?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/20 01:47 AM |
| 14 | Besides Jordan Peterson, what are the worst red-flag authors/books LVM/NVM read the most?Bukowski I get but what’s wrong with David Foster Wallace? John Updike is a red flag for me. And any other author who writes gratuitously misogynistic characters. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/20 10:47 PM |
| 31 | Why can’t men take care of themselves for ffs 🙄?Wtf. “Make sure they stay hydrated!???” Like these presumably adult, somewhat functional men can’t literally fulfill a requirement of human survival??? And the woman’s job, instead of being a valued expert on the team, is to bring them water and “nurture” them? As a woman in STEM, f this. I’m struggling to make it among boys club crap, sexual harassment, and general sexism and we have to contend with companies who want to recruit more women to “motivate” the team. 🤮🤮 I bet the guy who says this … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/20 03:38 AM |
| 11 | Redditor makes an argument for not reporting rape. I can’t help but wonder how many of these upvoters are male...Not supporting the upvotes, but she shouldn’t be blamed for making the decision not to report. Women have a lot to risk by reporting. Their relative peace and anonymity, reputation, sometimes their career and future livelihood and their safety. It’s so sad and unjust that women are not believed and face so much backlash for reporting something that a criminal cruelly did to them, but being raped is so traumatizing and if this is her way to moving on, I understand and only wish her the best. Edit… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/20 03:09 AM |
| 12 | Divorce inspired this woman to learn about money -- and she retired earlyYes!! FIRE FDSers represent! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/11/20 12:21 AM |
| 13 | My narc ex lived like this 🤢I hate the “we don’t need much to be happy” excuse. There’s even a minimalist version of this that would be beautiful and amazing. A yoga mat for meditation, maybe an essential oil diffuser, a beautiful bookcase, a comfy chair by the fire, and a statement plant or art piece. Still basically nothing, but it’s enough to create a sanctuary for reading, peace, and contemplation. Instead there is a TV in an unergonomic position, a crappy chair smack dab in the middle of the room, and takeout boxes. J… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/20 04:33 AM |
| 9 | All fax 📠 no printer 🖨I am very capable and independent but I am also lazy af. I can do this 😄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/20 04:01 AM |
| 126 | Found one ya’lls boyfriend, time to make him an ex.Wait, is he calling the the act of posting an insta story an act of service that apparently requires reciprocation?? What. I cannot. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/20 03:46 AM |
| 14 | Let's discuss this exchange. What are your thoughts?Just watched a bit more and he doesn’t even seem unhappy at all until she calls him out. And then I’m getting major contempt vibes. He just creeps me out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/20 05:19 AM |
| 20 | Let's discuss this exchange. What are your thoughts?There’s something off about his facial expressions too. When he used words like “appalled” and “ashamed”, but his face looks neutral or even slightly amused at times, it just feels wrong. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/20 05:16 AM |
| 7 | !!!I’m loving all the Harry Potter references on FDS! 🦉 First the Patronus, now Dumbledore. That said, as much as I like Harry Potter, I didn’t love how romance was portrayed in those books. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 10:23 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: October 16 2020You can do it! I’ve been there (have written about this on FDS too.) The best advice I can give is to block and don’t give this guy any more of your precious time or mental energy. In my case, I was scared that he would ruin my career if I rejected him outright. Instead, I realized how much respect and goodwill I’ve built up over the years with my colleagues, and I feel so much lighter and freer. Kick him straight out of your life! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/20 05:42 PM |
| 9 | How to Vet STEM MenYes, 5 is so true. Most scientists I know who transitioned to SWE found algorithms and the technical side of CS a breeze. Bro, we had to take quantum physics and statistical mechanics. Do you really think we can’t handle some JavaScript? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/10/20 12:30 PM |
| 2 | Let them miss you (non-dating related)This sounds so amazing. I think I need to make new non flaky friends. :( I feel like I’m always the one initiating and reaching out, especially during covid. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/10/20 12:49 AM |
| 13 | Easiest way to get to know how shitty a man is?Wait, does this mean we should do the opposite of the standard advice to not “don’t talk about politics or religion?” It seems like a potentially good filter. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/10/20 12:28 AM |
| 15 | Boy bye.I would just say something like, “I’m glad that we’re so secure we can acknowledge hot people around each other,” and next time I see a guy who’s really attractive, I’d point it out. Either he gets the message and stops, or more likely, he gets insecure and annoyed (because the kind of LVM who does stuff like this have zero self awareness.) If he gets insecure, it’s an automatic bye. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 07:22 PM |
| 90 | This is how I see it...I don’t completely agree with this. I have no hate for people who don’t hurt others- if LVMs want to keep to themselves and ACTUALLY go their own way, that’s fine. But when they abuse, demean, and harass women and encourage others to do the same, their behavior deserves condemnation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 01:35 AM |
| 14 | I am screaming internally right now. Why do women do this to themselves? 😒Oops, missed that! I don’t see the bottom of the picture unless I expand it on my phone. Yeah, I had hope for these women, but I guess it’s advanced stage pickmemonia. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 02:29 AM |
| 46 | His reasoning for messaging me 10 times in 2 days with no reply was...”it was worth a shot”Screenshots like these really highlight how lonely and pathetic LVMs’ lives are. He’s so desperate for sEx that he’s repeatedly messaging women who clearly don’t care about him. And he’s probably doing this with dozens of women. This is why LVMs stay LVMs- they spend their precious days on the earth pulling this crap instead of improving themselves or forming real friendships. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 02:21 AM |
| 55 | I am screaming internally right now. Why do women do this to themselves? 😒I’m not sure the girls are pickmes? It almost seems like they’re friends and wanted to get this random guy to buy them drinks and dinner or something and have a fun night out. And the guy is thinking that these girls are super into him. Either that or their level of pickme is beyond my comprehension. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 02:16 AM |
| 22 | Recognize when you’re doing this and block that man on everything. When you’re truly over someone, you won’t care if they see you leveling up.I hate how these LVM archetypes are so common that everyone seems to know “that guy”. This guy was short, balding, older than me, and pretended to be my “mentor” and then spent half the sessions hitting on me and giving me terrible career advice. He even suggested that I leave the company even though it’s the best place I’ve ever worked and I’m on the promotion track. Presumably so he could then date me, because in his delusional head I would definitely want to date him if I wasn’t working with … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 02:06 AM |
| 61 | Recognize when you’re doing this and block that man on everything. When you’re truly over someone, you won’t care if they see you leveling up.I don’t flex, but I do use people who hurt me as motivation to do better. There’s this guy who harassed me at work and I’m using him as motivation to level up professionally. He was always super insecure about my intelligence and career progression, so it’s so satisfying making progress and moving up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/20 09:29 PM |
| 2 | He suggested a at-home second date? I’m disappointed he seemed very HVM before this... is he just eager to see me?Why do LVMs love the 😂emoji? I swear they always use it right before or after they say something they KNOW is disrespectful. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 08:23 PM |
| 4 | Why do men become more interested after you stop initiating all the timeThis resonated with me big-time. Especially the part about seeing how much crap you’ll tolerate. Thanks for this, just blocked one of the LVMs in my life that I didn’t realize was an LVM because we have a professional as opposed to a romantic relationship. Realizing that LVMs are LVMs, no matter what area of my life they are in. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/20 02:56 AM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 5/13/2020Yes. And this is the type of guy that will get insecure and mad if you outperform him too, because deep down he doesn’t believe women can or should be smart. Avoid. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/05/20 02:44 AM |
| 5 | Found this article (A Story of a Fuck Off Fund) and thought it was brilliant. No matter what, we should always be prepared to pick ourselves up and carry on without financial worries. The less dependant we are (especially to men) the better we are as a whole.And check out r/FIREyFemmes - a woman focused FIRE sub! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/20 10:23 PM |
| 3 | Questions about age. Ideal timeline to find HVM?I'm 27 and this gives me hope. I was definitely not ready to date seriously in college and I've grown SO MUCH since then. I vacillate between "it would be nice to find someone" and "I kind of want to be single forever." Your post is motivating me to get out there more! Thanks for sharing how you met people! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/20 01:35 AM |
| 5 | Beware your male friendsI posted a comment and then read this. I was like, "Did I write this and forget about it?" haha. It's sad to see that this experience is so common. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/20 01:44 AM |
| 7 | Beware your male friendsYes! I've had male friends who I've been friends with for NEARLY A DECADE confess their "love" for me, and when I (gently) turned them down, decided that I wasn't worth speaking to ever again. All that time and emotional energy I invested in our "friendship" when he was apparently just biding his time to hit on me. Every year a couple of my male "friends" bite the dust this way. I've gotten to the point where I only make female friends now because male friends are so rarely real friends. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/20 01:41 AM |
| 10 | Queen Behaviour! Don’t dumb yourself down for LVM!YES. Some men say, "I love smart women," and everything is great until they realize that you're better at them at their "thing" that they think they're great at. Then a switch flips and they get MAJORLY INSECURE and they start acting full-on crazy. (This is especially true for nerdy guys who have been considered "smart" their entire life, because they've built their entire self-worth on being the smartest.) I don't know how to avoid this. But I'm not going to dull my shine to protect a man's ego… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/20 01:16 AM |
| 7 | Don’t let anyone tell you you’re too picky or not being ‘positive’ enough!Yes! I hold men to the same standard as I hold myself. If I'm awesome, fun, smart, kind, financially responsible, and have a full and interesting life and a career I love...why would I want a guy who's not? It's not like we're asking for billionaire astronauts who wait on us hand and foot. All we're asking for is a man on our level! We should NEVER have to compromise on that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/20 01:16 AM |
| 10 | What are the jobs you consider a red flag? Why?Scientists are good too! Source: am scientist, date mostly scientists and engineers (when I feel like dating in the first place.) Exception for engineers are the software engineers who were ignored by women when they were younger and now think they're God's gift to earth because they make 250k. They're pretty easy to spot and next, though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/20 01:03 AM |
| 70 | Does She ExistAnd above all, she is super hot but, of course, has no idea. And is 100% willing to validate LVMs entirely on their terms. If not, she's no longer a cool girl - she's just a "bitch". 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/20 09:54 PM |
| 7 | Men frauding how successful they areYes, this is so true! From my experience, most people who are super flashy with their money either don't have it (and all the flashiness is just a front), aren't used to having it and don't know how to handle it, or won't have it for long (because they aren't smart with it.) HVM, like HVW, respect themselves and their bodies but are secure enough that they don't need to show off for validation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/20 09:36 PM |
| 1 | Share your goals for levelling up in 2020Kind of late to this party, but so glad I discovered FDS! Get promoted and generally kick ass at work. Lose 10 lbs to my ideal weight, do some light lookmaxxing. Set up healthy habits: daily exercise, a regular sleep schedule, healthier diet. Start a side business. Get As in my classes. Learn Python and build some side projects. Make connections and close friendships where we build each other up and are awesome together! Keep working toward financial independence. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/20 07:24 PM |
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