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takingvioletpills Archive

View 3 posts and 27 comments by takingvioletpills on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I love this outlook
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 11:10 PM
4

That’s a great point. I think they’re trying to make it all align in their head-this is why they left, the relationship was never good, “I was never happy”. It has to be a coping mechanism.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 07:40 AM
6

Thanks for commenting. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. It really is a weapon that someone can just use against you at any point. I don’t even want to keep fighting but I won’t allow her to destroy all my good memories. She doesn’t get to deny my reality. I was there! I know what happened. You cannot rewrite history whenever you want to, life doesn’t work like that… but I’m amazed at the person I’m seeing. Never thought we’d end up here. Deleting pictures is such a weird juvenile way …
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 07:37 AM
1

She paints me as a monster too. And just like you, I also trusted her the most. It is insane how much power a partner can have and then misuse in a ridiculous way. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too! It’s great that you’re able to do all of these things for yourself. Keep doing it!!
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 07:28 AM
3

Either delete social media altogether or tweak your algorithm. Instagram allows putting specific words to change your algorithm and you can also put words to block. I know it’s a bit of a bandaid but do what you can right now.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 09:29 AM
1

Reach out to the people who used to be your friends, who you were close with. I reconnected with so many people since this happened
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 02:46 AM
7

I don’t have kids but feel the same way— that there is no future for me, and I’m also terrified of dying alone and in poverty. So sorry you’re feeling like this. I know it’s like being in the depths of hell. I grew up without a dad. And I bet your kids need you. And they’ll need you even more when they get older.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 02:09 AM
1

No kids, thankfully.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 04:23 AM
2

It has been so hard, it truly does come in waves. Sometimes I can be ok, other times I don't know how to live from now on. Unfortunately my version of Cialis definitely gonna be working on my career. I really need to make changes because right now things are not good in that area!
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 10:48 PM
2

Love the gym and started counseling w a new therapist recently. I laugh very hard when straight women say they wish they could date women and assume its so easy...It's never easy. I love women, I love all human beings, but it is never easy.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 10:15 PM
2

Thank you so much. It IS kind of funny. But I honestly found support in the most unexpected places, if that makes sense.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 10:12 PM
4

I absolutely agree! And I've gotten so much helped and support from my male friends lately, going thru this shit.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 09:54 PM
4

I’m really sorry you’re going through that. It must be very tough to wrap your head around. Relationships are so complicated. I don’t doubt that it is very confusing to other people, including you and your kids. Personally, I wouldn’t encourage someone to leave their marriage, unless there was serious abuse going on. I think it’s not my place, even as a friend, to intervene this way in someone else’s life. It’s the most serious relationship in someone’s life, and one that’s supposed to be for li…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 02:16 AM
6

Thank you 🫡
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 02:09 AM
10

I haven’t but thank you for the rec! I love good poetry and good writing in general. I definitely need to grow in the area of self-love. And thank you so much for being so welcoming as well.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 10:43 PM
3

Love this!!
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 06:27 PM
9

Thank you so much, that’s so kind of you to say! I never expected this. I was worried about posting in case it wasn’t allowed. I know it’s hard for men to find spaces where they don’t feel judged and I didn’t want to intrude. But so many things resonated with me on here, and it’s been hard to find a place where I can share the shame of being left. Where I don’t feel pressured to like feel good that it’s ended. And that’s a very real thing. You phrased it so well, feeling unlovable and unwanted i…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 05:18 PM
8

Thank you, I’ll watch! I randomly found a ton of support around my male friends who’ve been thru a divorce and I find that perspective aligning so much with what I’m experiencing too
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 04:59 PM
7

Thank you!!!
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 04:22 PM
5

Yep, you nailed it. That’s 100% how it feels now. When people say, “Oh it’ll get better, you’ll find someone”, all I keep thinking is how it’ll be decades like this, alone. I can’t imagine having enough trust for another relationship
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 11:44 AM
9

I think it happens when women (and some men probably too) emotionally check out long before actually leaving. I now know she was contemplating it for a long time. That’s why she had a lot of time to pre-grieve and disconnect. My wife also happens to have avoidant attachment, so running away is kind the default position to stay safe.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 10:45 AM
1

It seriously felt like a bomb going off. And then having to deal with the aftermath of it. I feel like she’s had all the power in this and not sure how I gain some of it back
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 10:03 AM
14

Thank you… the pain of it is just overwhelming. The first few weeks I barely ate or slept. Then it became nightmares almost every night. Still not feeling like it’s really happening, just being in constant denial, and the feeling that my brain cannot catch up. There are so many things I wish I did differently. I’m no angel and refuse to see the world in black and white terms. I know she’s not completely fine but it still hurts really bad to know that MY person could do this.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 10:01 AM
15

There are no winners, it’s like celebrating a death. It’s a death of your future together, of all the possibilities that will never occur now, it’s a shared loss. Maybe you will both be happier eventually but it’s bizarre to celebrate it endlessly. I just see those and I’m like, I didn’t eat the first four days and had to do daily check ins with my friend that I was alive and safe. Also, when people blame everything on the other person, I am immediately very suspicious. If you can’t name 10 thin…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 09:56 AM
5

Thank you. There is definitely no way to get over it fast… not even trying. It was completely off guard. I’ve done so much for this person, we lived through a lifetime together, and it’s so fucking weird how everything turned out. It still doesn’t feel fully real. I just found out she went on a date apparently, despite telling me she did not want to date again for a long time and how this relationship messed her up so she doesn’t want to be in a new relationship for a while, etc. It’s all really…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 09:53 AM
10

The “you go girl” shit is very depressing. I never ever thought I’d be going thru a divorce. And most people honestly should think long and hard before they embark on it, unless there is real abuse going on. It’s a devastating event for most people, it’s ranked up there with a death of a close family member in terms of the stress levels. It’s like celebrating someone dying for me. Your dream died, you should reflect and grieve, there’s nothing to celebrate here. It’s very interesting what you sa…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 09:43 AM
6

I just don’t understand the lack of accountability because accountability in a way is very freeing, it gives you a sense of agency. Like if I say there is nothing I can fix and I’ll be a victim forever, how is that empowering? I’d rather find things I can fix, so I can fix them and be better. I can name a thousand things I wish I could’ve done differently in my marriage. It’s not even that hard, really. But I notice so many of these posts where it’s all the other persons fault and I even comment…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 09:38 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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