teodir Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
35	I can’t face-to-face talk with my ex anymore – is this normal?		teodir	/r/Divorce_Men	06/02/26 02:29 PM
20	I thought I was building a family but I was surviving a relationship.	Getting Started	teodir	/r/Divorce_Men	30/01/26 09:55 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
3	Married for 10 years and confronted four times in the last two months when I found my wife cheating. I don't know. I went through something very similar. The affair hurt, but the repeated lying, hiding, and gaslighting did far more damage than the physical betrayal itself. One thing I learned is that don’t focus on what she says now. Focus on what she consistently does over time. Rebuilding trust requires complete honesty, accountability, transparency, and genuine effort from both people. Without those, reconciliation isn’t really happening. Also, don’t blame yourself for her choices. Every marriage has prob…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/07/26 03:49 PM
5	Recently divorced at 31 and feel like I completely failed I’ve been where you are. Maybe not the exact same story, but the same place inside your head. When everything ended for me, I kept replaying it over and over, leaving in my head. What I did wrong, what I could have done better, where I failed. I was convinced that if I had just been a bit different, more attentive, more understanding, more… something… it would have worked. And the worst part wasn’t even the divorce itself, it was that feeling that I wasn’t enough. That somehow I failed as a pers…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/03/26 10:28 AM
3	Life after Divorce Honestly.....Both Right after, there were moments of sadness. Not because I wanted the relationship back, but because I was letting go of what I thought it was. But very quickly, peace. Real peace. No tension, no walking on eggshells, no constant pressure. Now, most of the time, I feel calm, clear, and actually happy. I enjoy my own space, my time with my kids, and I don’t feel drained anymore. So yeah… a bit of sadness at the beginning but, what replaced it is something much better: stability a…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/03/26 12:01 PM
12	Joy of a divorced man I lived this. Same feeling of being reduced to a role, same shock when everything collapsed, same nights where your mind runs fast and you don’t recognize yourself anymore. What I learned the hard way is that you didn’t just lose a wife you lost the identity you built around being a husband and a provider. The way out for me was not trying to understand her or replay the past. It was rebuilding myself through therapy, taking care of my body even when my head was chaos, focusing on being a stable…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/02/26 09:44 PM
1	How did you get back out there? You will not get better right away, it comes in waves, you need to cross the hell, don't stop.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/02/26 01:37 PM
2	How did you get back out there? I was in the same place. She moved on fast and I thought the solution was to find someone to sleep with just to balance it. It doesn’t fix the real problem, only numbs it for a few hours. Go to therapy, this was the turning point, not to talk about her, but to understand myself. Go to gym, long walks, sauna, push yourself. Strict no-contact except kids & logistic. Regained my identity back, hobbies, projects, being a solid father. I didn't rushed into dating just to fill the void. Almost 7 month…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/02/26 12:18 PM
1	I can’t face-to-face talk with my ex anymore – is this normal? Hi again, Thanks everyone for your replies. I spoke with my therapist about why I react so strongly to seeing my ex in person. What I understood changed my perspective. For years I learned to manage her emotions to keep peace, to be compliant, to adjust myself, soften my needs, avoid conflict, read her moods before my own. My body still remembers that pattern, so when I see her now, it’s an old survival reflex. So better to have boundaries that allows my nervous system to recalibrate after a lon…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/02/26 05:28 PM
6	How to move on I'm a father of 2 boys going through divorce, I asked for divorce as she cheated on me. For us man this wasn't just a relation, is our identity. We lost a future. Dating is not the right solution to make the pain go away. It takes time to get your version back. Go to therapy, you need professional support, ask for help, reddit is a great resource, write your thoughts and fears down - sort of journal and bring them to therapy sessions. --- you are now in pain mode Create rituals, gym, long walks,…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/02/26 07:47 AM
16	Questions for divorced people Love without safety is not love. If you cannot feel calm next to someone, you are not in a relationship but survival mode. Real love should lower your guard, not keep it permanently raised. Endurance is not resilience.True strength was leaving, setting boundaries, and choosing myself instead of tolerating disrespect. Trust is the foundation, once broken is over. Communication doesn't work, words don’t matter when actions say the opposite. I tried for years to repair something that only one perso…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/02/26 07:36 AM
3	I can’t face-to-face talk with my ex anymore – is this normal? WTF	/r/Divorce_Men	06/02/26 04:21 PM
3	For any dad who’s been carrying a lot lately/always As a dad, I’m in the same position. You are allowed nights or days when you feel that you don’t have it in you. But, you don’t build your life with it, it’s normal to have downs those days will not drive you and will not control you. Our kids doesn’t need a perfect father but they need a stable and predictable parent.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/02/26 10:22 AM
1	What’s the longest you stayed when you knew it was over? How did you maintain happiness while still in it? First time I was telling myself that I’m done with this marriage was around 7-8 years ago, my therapist at the time advised not to do it because boys were small … unfortunately I lost myself giving more hope and more effort for a little attention… she finished by cheating me, found out, found out more from her former colleagues that the affair was longer that she was telling me, coincidentally around the same period, 7-8 years ago … Yeah, trust your instincts and act, they never disappoint. Now …	/r/Divorce_Men	31/01/26 09:37 AM
2	I thought I was building a family but I was surviving a relationship. I hear the warning, and some of it absolutely applies in general. My situation is a bit different. I was already in therapy before discovering the affair. I felt something was wrong long before it surfaced, so I had already started doing the work. By the time the divorce process began, the marriage had been emotionally over for a long time, and the practical side like parenting and finances was agreed on early and calmly. Briefly, co-parenting 50/50, we split all our savings, we don't own proper…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/01/26 10:58 PM
2	I thought I was building a family but I was surviving a relationship. I just shared what I lived and how I made it. Take what resonates with you, leave the rest.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/01/26 01:49 PM
2	I thought I was building a family but I was surviving a relationship. Thank you. I didn’t have this awareness back then. I grew up with abuse (physical and emotional abuse by my father) so all that felt normal for me. I had no understanding of trauma or how it shapes adult relationships. Indeed it wasn't weakness but lack of understanding so, I was surviving with what I had. The clarity came later, when I decided to start a behavioural trauma therapy.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/01/26 01:45 PM
2	I thought I was building a family but I was surviving a relationship. Who knows, she always refused therapy, perhaps she was afraid of being discovered. I really dont know if she has any personality disorder but she had a trauma cause by their parent divorce, her father cheated on her mom .... you see the pattern here.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/01/26 01:38 PM
6	I thought I was building a family but I was surviving a relationship. I totally relate to this. I had no clue about attachement style, doing therapy I realised about our differences. I was more on the anxious secure attachement. I wanted connection, repair, reciprocity, and was willing to talk, reflect, and work on myself. When I felt distance or inconsistency, I tried harder, explained more, and took responsibility at the cost of my own needs. She showed dismissive avoidant attachment pattern. Emotional distance, discomfort with intimacy and accountability, withd…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/01/26 01:34 PM
3	My Story. I feel what you are going through, I caught my wife one year ago, I gave her a chance and one month lather caught them live going out from a friend flat and of course gave another chance and it went pretty nice for 10 month when I one evening I saw a message from the guy on her phone and I went in PTS shock I couldn’t even speak I was shaking with her phone in my hands, they met to talk. So here is the thing, once they crossed that bridge they will cross it again because it’s easier and also the…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/10/25 07:56 PM