TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

theinnerdork Archive

View 0 posts and 90 comments by theinnerdork on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

I would absolutely 100% go through it all again. The hardest breakthrough I went through led me to think about my life and my decisions in a way nothing else would have. The pain of it sucked, but the work of understanding how I picked the wrong person and ignored red flags (she didn't cheat but her family was racist and very focused on how much I made) was invaluable. Not to mention the work I spent understanding how I was also my own problem: I was depressed in the relationship (we both were a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 12:17 PM
1

Yeah, agreed
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/21 04:37 AM
2

prove real-world experience I hear you. Studies provide a good baseline or, a guide for human behavior. But when it comes to meeting people in the real world, having conversations with real people, they sometimes (often, in my experience) break the guidelines discovered in those studies. I try not to rely on them to define my real-world expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 11:48 PM
1

Every study has discrepancies was the point I was making albeit ineloquently and roundabout. Just to clarify: I'm not saying we shouldn't rely on studies to understand human behavior and culture. But, in my opinion, this sub relies on them in lieu of real-world experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 07:50 PM
1

A study used to criticize other studies.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 02:04 PM
1

Why is this an either/or scenario? Maybe it's hard for both groups in different ways. One classic (and overplayed) example: Straight women often receive lots of social pressure to start a family and raise children Vs. Straight men often receive lots of pressure to attain financial security and be able to provide for a family. Another one (less tired): Men and women treat dating as a simple "boy meets girl" scenario, where any girl meets any boy and, presto bingo, a couple is formed, followed by …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/21 10:13 PM
1

Over-reliance on pre-conceived ideas (from studies, from the media, from our social group, from our own experience) limits our ability to see what's actually in front of us. Example: The belief that most people lie to protect themselves or their ego. If you think that about most people, then it means you're more likely to write almost everyone off as liars. But what if someone isn't lying. What if they're confused, or they think differently about a particular situation (in a constructive way; no…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/21 09:58 PM
1

The problem with thinking you know everyone because you read a study or two, is that when you encounter those 'exceptions', you reveal how naive you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/21 04:14 AM
1

We're talking about women relative to, and who are products of, the western world and western dating culture in the United States. But... allll of them ... That's still hundreds of millions of people
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/21 03:39 AM
1

Indeed
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/21 01:36 AM
1

Without insulting you back, I'm going to ask what you mean here: That being said, this whole "Women aren't lying about X, Y and Z ~ signed ~ a woman" debate is paradoxical in itself. It's also been my experience that women aren't 100% honest with a man unless he checks these two boxes: Because you sound like you think 100% of the time 100% of women will opt not to tell you the truth about something.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/21 12:04 AM
1

My girlfriend doesn't lie. It's brutal. She's the most direct person I've ever met. Don't you think it's hard to make these kinds of blanket statements about women given that there are literally billions on this planet, all with different opinions, different experiences, and different personalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 11:46 PM
1

If you think all women are lying, you've clearly never had a close relationship with one.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 11:42 PM
1

Well said
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 01:34 PM
1

See now we have something to agree on. Hell yeah! So, with no fence and I really can’t think of a better EXACT comparison. Maybe walking in your yard at night then...? Sometimes random people will walk in my yard to sell me something or give a flyer or something like that, and I have to make an assessment to either pull my gun on them or not (if I’m carrying at that moment). I think this is pretty similar to what some women must feel in my hypothetical example of a stranger walking behind them f…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 05:13 AM
1

If I put a sign outside my house that said: “black people walk/ride on the other side of the street if I’m in my yard.” You're right. It would be absolutely ridiculous to ask your neighbors to do that. However, in OP's examples, women are not asking men to cross the street. I agree. That would be ridiculous. What they are asking is for us to keep a safe distance at night, or (and the following are my examples) speed up and walk past them so they know we're not a threat, or to not walk slowly beh…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 03:24 AM
1

We have to start somewhere. LIKE pick one. Either you expect men to respect you and not kill or rape you and do whatever you want. OR fear men and cover up when your outside, to reduce the out of control men from raping you AND ask us to create safe zones around you when we walk near you. You know women get attacked regardless of what they wear, right? And regardless of time of day. I quoted those two statements because I think they're indicative of something. 1- No group of people think of this…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 12:50 AM
1

It’s the point that in a post sexist world and post racist world. No one should have to worry about what they look like That's just it: we don't live in either of those worlds. So, until there's no violence, until people stop attacking each other, killing each other, raping each other, until there's no racism, we're going to have people that think the wrong thing. And sometimes I don't blame them for having a fearful response. In the summer, I jog at night cause it's too hot in the day. I know I…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/21 09:52 PM
2

Limited experience leads you to overvalue the few experiences you have. This applies to u/umnothxbye too
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/21 10:26 AM
1

I’m going to pretend youre a random human. Well, they are a random human, right? But you said "pretend" because you're aware of the dynamic of being "bigger" and "taller" than the woman walking in front of you and you know how, sometimes, that dynamic can translate into fear for them. Some people choose to acknowledge that dynamic by backing off in a very small way. They don't cross the street or anything drastic but they speed up to pass them or they walk slower to keep a distance or they say H…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/21 10:14 AM
1

Woof. I actually relate to you a little bit. My girlfriend is QUICK to pull the "men are shit" card on me. Some (not all) of my women friends too. Sometimes they are wrong. And sometimes they are right. (One told me I was sexist for saying Scarlet Witch was my favorite character in the Avengers movies. She was absolutely wrong.) Either way, in those moments, I don't throw those friendships away. We move forward by talking through our conflicting viewpoints and trying to understand why we see thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 09:54 PM
1

Yeah, I know some women (like men) are assholes. I just don't agree with the idea that just because some women are assholes, all of them are assholes. But that sounds like your thinking. Is that the case?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 09:39 PM
1

Oh please. Your being in denial here. Man beaten to death while trying to protect woman being sexually assaulted in Arlington (this was a hyperlink) How many stories do you see like this a a year? Really. Even if you see more than five, the origin of this post is about men being more socially attentive of women's experiences (things like not walking behind them at night or approaching them to make conversation when they have headphones on and obviously want to be left alone). Not about jumping i…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 09:37 PM
1

The argument here isn't that men should do more for women or women should do more for men. It's that people should look out for one another. That's nothing new. That's how communities have been formed for thousands of years. And includes men being decent to other men. Yes, assholes are everywhere. But we can make the choice not to be that asshole. If you don't want to do that, fine. But own up to it. Don't judge all of women on the 10 women who ignored you or disregarded you (though it's may be …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 09:10 PM
2

Yeah, there it is. I'm sorry you don't feel loved. That's a wretched feeling. I know. I've been there. But your pain doesn't give you the right to perpetuate it onto other people - women or men. And feminists just want an equal shot at the world, like you do. The difference between you and a feminist is that they take a look at WHAT they can do to change things. Your anger makes you just want to punish someone that had nothing to do with how you feel. If you feel unloved, underappreciated, unwan…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 04:16 PM
3

Sure, women who rape are responsible for their bad behavior. Indisputable. My point is that, as men in a community with other men, our responsibility is to check ourselves and check the other men in our social circle. That's something we have control over. And that's a more important fight, because women are victims of violent attacks - sexual and non-sexual - in far larger numbers. And to point out that women rape too, just distracts from that. That's not to diminish men who are victims of rape…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 04:07 PM
0

My point is that you can CHOOSE to be courteous to other people. Of course assholes are going to asshole, but we can choose to be better than those assholes. That's what women are asking.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 04:01 PM
1

What does that mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 01:36 PM
1

Gotcha
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 12:05 PM
4

Yeah, women can rape and be violent too. But which gender perpetuates it more?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 11:54 AM
11

Many men have been killed trying to protect women they don't even know. I don't have the faintest clue what situation you're referencing here. It sounds like some sort of made up world in your head, but I'll play along. Those men who were "killed trying to protect women they don't even know" were 'killed' by other men. Therefore, in this world, where men perpetrate the great majority of violence against women, it makes sense that women want more men to be aware of that and to do something small …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 11:52 AM
0

So, because women don't give men sex out of generosity, men have no obligation to be aware of or mindful about women's safety?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 11:30 AM
2

How do you your views on n-count play out in your real life?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 11:18 AM
1

My point is that there are "natural" tendencies that women gravitate towards in the absence of an environment that forces them act unnaturally. Got it. Is experiencing that natural tendency at the age of 16 the same as experiencing it at 36? How do you factor in a person's own preferences or life experiences? Do you honestly believe that this is the case in the west? Definitely. Things are better for women right now, but 'better' does not mean 'equal'. And I mean, truly equal. The women I work w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/20 10:47 AM
2

Thanks for your points. Enjoying the discussion. Women weren't magically different, fundamentally. However, because of that system they had to behave differently or face social consequences. I don't follow your point here. To me, this shows that separating environmental factors from behavioral motivations is borderline impossible. Here's why: Even in the example you provided, the patriarchal society (which, let's not kid ourselves, is still the case today) exerts external control on women that a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 12:47 AM
1

But she's also getting an education so she can can work and contribute to you guy's family. That's pretty modern. She sounds like she's also her own person. Which is dope.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/20 08:57 PM
1

Thanks for answering.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/20 08:54 PM
9

Thanks! How's your girlfriend different from the modern women you described in the title of the post?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/20 09:23 AM
10

Could you tell us how you and your partner are equal?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/20 08:54 AM
1

The more people you meet the more you realize that statistical analysis isn't always "reliable". Sure, it creates a sort of behavioral baseline. But there are ALWAYS exceptions. ALWAYS. And if you don't learn to spot those outliers, you're missing out. I'm not talking about studies. I'm talking about real life. And look at that, you're having trouble even considering this very new idea. That's my point. Trust studies but don't over-rely on them. To address your point on women with active sex liv…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/20 10:52 AM
1

You have to generalize when talking about all nacho recipes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 11:18 PM
1

You have to generalize when talking about all bicycles.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 11:14 PM
0

I argue that the members of this sub rely too much on statistical norms. And, in that process, are losing out on their ability to accept new ideas and , I dunno, adapt to situations that may more complicated than their black-and-white view of the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 11:08 PM
3

You have to generalize when talking about all foods.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 01:28 PM
2

they get more enjoyment than the man. Well, that's not a universal experience. The level of enjoyment can vary from person to person, partner to partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 01:19 PM
1

Or maybe both groups get dehumanized in the process. Move on and answer the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 01:17 PM
0

Just some of the men on this sub, my guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 01:16 PM
3

Now, we're back on topic. Thanks for that. I see, your argument is constrained to behavioral patterns. I want to respect those terms for this discussion but to limit all of human behavior to animalistic urges denies a lot of what makes us human: namely, consciousness, self-awareness and imagination. Biologically, we are animals, yes. But when we created philosophy to define moral codes, when we conjectured math to predict planetary orbits, we moved beyond that. So it's a challenge for me to limi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 12:57 PM
1

I guess I shouldn't be surprised you've never rode a plane. Did you have a real response or no?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 11:43 AM
1

But mixing baseline human motivations (need for food, need for community, need for self-understanding, need to use the bathroom) WITH countless cultural differences AND countless personality traits AND countless learned experiences can lead human beings to diverge from the 'behavorial' patterns outlined in RP?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 11:37 AM
3

But, to use your analogy, humans can crawl, walk, run, fly and swim. We're not locked into roles like other animals. We evolved beyond that. So it stands to reason that of 7 billion people on the planet, some of us (many of us, I would argue) break with the behavioral 'norms' presented in the studies you all reference.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 11:30 AM
2

Or it's because OP has met people across a wide swath of backgrounds and knows that 7 billion people on this planet can't all fit neatly into the studies everyone here relies on to understand the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 11:25 AM
5

Don't spend your whole life making decisions based on studies.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 11:23 AM
3

Hell, yes. Really well said. The folks in this sub want to believe there's a formula to the world and all people behave the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 11:21 AM
2

I always thought of it as: "Sure, she's had more partners than me and yeah some of them are better than me at some things and worse than me at others. None of that matters because right here right now we both choose each other and I'm going to make the most of it." Worrying about previous partners was a waste of time. I never lost a relationship with someone cause they were comparing me to a past lover. I lost relationships because our personalities didn't match, because the lives we wanted were…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 11:16 AM
13

Kinda sounds like folks are just jealous women are having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 12:53 AM
1

Be well dude
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/20 01:54 AM
1

It's a-coming. It's just a part of life. But yo, for real, even though slut shaming is reductive and useless, I still respect you. My thing is: sex is wonderful. Women (and men and everyone) don't learn how to have sex until they actually go out and do it. And a lot of it. I've been sexually active for 17 years. I didn't get good at it until five years ago. Five years ago my n-count was 17. And I was bad at sex! #18 made all the difference. And she was my girlfriend for 3 years. I would have mar…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/20 12:31 AM
1

Calling women sluts won't stop you from getting hurt.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/20 10:34 PM
1

3) Didn't say you said that. Was just asking a question. I see how my wording was confusing, though. A lot of people on this sub seem to be motivated by insulating themselves against a) infidelity, b) divorce, or c) any negative experience with a woman. Not saying that's you, but you asked why people seem to not understand the difference in severity between infidelity and divorce. That's why. Because a lot of the comments and opinions here read like scared little kids afraid of getting hurt and …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/20 09:55 PM
1

1) Fair. 2) Are you saying adultery 'should' be the only cause for divorce. 3) That wasn't the stat I was referencing. But it's not important. New question: Why are we judging women based on n-count if it's not about avoiding infidelity?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/20 09:18 PM
0

Adultery is not the root of every divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/20 08:45 PM
1

I don't care about my woman's n-count. I care that a) she's with me for the right reasons and b) that we agree on the same values for building a life together. Why should her having 22+ plus partners stop me from being with her if I know we're aligned on those two things?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/20 07:57 PM
4

u/itchyhealth - the results from those studies apply to men and women. Are men expected to maintain low n-counts, too?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/20 10:00 AM
2

Sad
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/20 11:01 PM
-4

Why so sensitive?
/r/MensRights21/06/20 12:27 PM
1

Cheating isn't genetic, buddy. The world is a big place. And a human life, along with all the factors/experiences that go into it, is pretty big too. Huge parts of that aren't represented in your study. Science is an amazing guide, but outliers are everywhere. Just one simple fact, that people can change over time, breaks the conclusions in your study. Want to factor in a woman's socioeconomic background, new study. What about how much money she makes? New study. What about what she learned abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/20 01:18 AM
0

No, I don't think you can make it more clear because unless you're doing heroin hits with your significant other every Saturday night, addictive hard drugs isn't the same as sex. Sex and food and alcohol can all be done healthily in moderation. Does anyone do heroin in moderation?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/20 12:48 AM
0

Anything pleasurable can be as dangerous as heroin. That's what you're saying?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/20 11:29 PM
0

There's a such thing as a healthy sex life. There's no such thing as a healthy heroin habit.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/20 11:04 PM
1

Explain that to me plz
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/20 09:08 PM
1

Wooooooof
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/20 08:39 PM
1

Cheating isn't genetic, buddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/20 07:25 PM
1

Cheating is not genetic, buddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/20 07:22 PM
2

"However this is not the case. If it was, no one would cheat." I mentioned in an earlier comment that cheating isn't just the result of one metric. Sorry, but cheaters cheat for all sorts of reasons, "body count" alone is no indication of cheating. What is: trustworthiness, honesty, open communication, maturity. Unfortunately, statistics aren't going to help you develop the skills and relationship experience you need to measure those characteristics. In regard to those studies: There are a lot o…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/20 05:58 PM
2

I know one thing: a women like that wouldn't be the woman for you. So I guess the problem takes care of itself. But how many partners do you have a year? I (36m) have 3 to 4, but if I'm in a committed relationship, just one. Women, too, can make the same transition from causal partners to committed relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/20 05:45 PM
2

Thanks for the numbers. Sincerely. It’s helped me understand your viewpoint. I still disagree though :) So: even at 21+ partners, the percentage of infidelity is ~50%. Not 75%. Not 85%. Not 100%. 50/50. So, if you meet someone who is great for you, but they’ve had 22 partners, do you break things off because of that 50/50 chance? Or do you rely on other metrics to help you determine viability as a long-term partner. Like the following: Can you establish trust with them? https://www.gottman.com/b…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/20 01:36 PM
2

Sex (a natural act between consenting adults) and drugs (made in labs to be extremely addicting, toxic, and even fatal). Those are comparable?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/20 11:31 AM
1

Hmm. I don't think you're taking this seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/20 03:04 PM
2

You actually don't know that most men agree. And have you capped yourself at 20 sexual partners? When I realized that I wouldn't limit myself to X number of partners was when I realized I couldn't, in good conscience, cap any woman. Number of partners isn't a statement of someone's quality as a person. And if you think it does, it's worth thinking deeply about why you'd rather shame a person who could be a good mate for you just because they surpassed your arbitrary number of sexual partners. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/20 03:01 AM
0

This limited world view is going to hold you back. All it does is limit you to building relationship defined and organized on power dynamics. If that's all you see, it's all you do, and if that's all you do, that's a tough life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/20 09:13 PM
1

Then there's something deeper going on with you.
/r/MensRights16/06/20 01:15 PM
7

If a guys not onboard with this, he's going to make a bad husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/20 01:19 AM
3

Isn't she doing the same thing you're doing?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/20 01:17 AM
2

Much needed post.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/20 10:00 AM
1

Anyone see this as a joke? Maybe as a challenge to the men who can't control their urges to sexualize a girl wearing shirts?
/r/MensRights13/06/20 11:45 AM
1

u/banned_by_cucks What's the difference between narcissistic women and men with "natural male bravado"? Is there a such thing as a woman with healthy ego-developement and confidence, in your world view? Also, I'm not sure that building up the ego is the path to high self-esteem. In fact, ego building leads to a complete lack of self-esteem. The ego is usually hollow, it's an over-inflated sense of self based on comparison based on how we stack up to millions of other people, comparisons that, in…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/20 11:11 AM
0

You could do something about that. Shit, I could do something about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 02:03 PM
2

Or heal up, realize she was wrong for you, learn she's a flawed human being like everyone else in the world, and move on with your life. It's not that your "type" changed, it's that you associate that type with the pain you experienced. But every girl with curves and red hair isn't going to cut out your heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 02:01 PM
1

Folks -- the data is from the early 1990s'.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/19 12:13 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter