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themfluencer Archive

View 0 posts and 1,230 comments by themfluencer on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I don’t make the rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 10:43 PM
0

The axiology of sex under TRP is an extractive process. Women lose value from sex and men gain value through sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 04:19 PM
1

I’m women :/
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 07:17 PM
1

hellz yeah! i think coffee or a walk in the part is a sufficient first date. First dates are meant to see if someone is compatible enough for a second date. Investing too much sets wild expectations on everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 02:35 PM
2

So women offer chastity and men offer money, because a woman’s primary value is pristine sexuality and a man’s primary value is as a provider?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 10:11 AM
5

Why would a virgin woman want to marry a ran-through man?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 01:05 AM
1

It’s okay to lead with wild crazy sex, but know that spontaneous sex several times a day is an unrealistic expectation for a few years while the kids are young… otherwise you end up with some traumatized kids. Lol. College graduated women tend to have the longest, happiest marriages when they choose marriage. Some of us women even pick up practical skills for raising a family in college! Studying human development and family studies has helped me to be a better member of my family because I know…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 12:10 AM
1

Leading with your ultimate goal of a family and kids may be better than leading with suckin and fuckin! But I respect your right to disagree and do what you wish. Free will rocks!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 12:02 AM
1

Yeah, mass political and socioeconomic shifts are hard. Let’s keep suffering!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 10:15 PM
3

I agree that sex is something that two consenting peeps have and enjoy. However, axiologically sex is a zero sum game in TRP. having random sexual encounters increases a man’s worth and decreases a woman’s worth. Thus something of an “extraction” of SMV comes from casual heterosexual encounters. Men don’t treat sex as a safety risk as much as they should tbh. I think it’s because their horny lizard brain takes over their logical human brain. Likely because of the status increase that comes from …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 10:13 PM
1

I’m saying that even Chad is performing. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 10:09 PM
3

Glad to hear it works for you in terms of short to medium term relationships. I’m not opposed to dinner as a first date, but if I’m going, I’m paying. Otherwise I think coffee or drinks or a walk in the park is a fine way to figure out if you like someone enough to keep hanging out.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 09:01 PM
2

So, you’d be open to giving a woman something (dinner, a relationship, conversation, companionship) after she gave it all up for you for doing nothing? I’ve been reading that intermittent reinforcement is the best way to keep people addicted. It’s why people like slot machines, scrolling endlessly, and the people we meet and are attracted to who are lowkey very inconsistent. It’s scarcity brain babie!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 08:41 PM
1

You would marry a virgin but you don’t believe that virgin women exist. You an interesting critter bro! What kinds of things would you wanna do with your wife and kids? I’m super excited to read to my kiddos every night once I have some; I already love reading to my niece and nephews.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 08:38 PM
2

Are you planning on marrying your wife before you have sex with her? Or are you contributing to this?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 08:25 PM
3

Don’t you want to form a family? Bonking random women you don’t like is distracting you from your main goal babes!!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 08:23 PM
2

Gender is a performance and we’re all merely the world’s players!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 08:22 PM
2

Why are you having sex with people you’re not attracted to? Stop telling on yourself online for free!!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 08:19 PM
1

As long as both parties are giving honest information and deploying dominant strategies, I’m all for it. game theory doesn’t work otherwise! However, I think our current individualistic market that jerks off using the invisible hand ends up harming us all and only benefiting the guys who wanna sell us more stuff. Turns out acting rashly in self interest all the time is not the best action for our economy, and our material and sexual wants are getting in the way of our community needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 08:08 PM
2

Conversely, women should filter for men who take them to dinner without an expectation of sex, because he’s probably done that at one point in his life too. :) The best way to ensure your girlfriend has never slept around is to raise her from birth yourself and make sure she never leaves the house.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 07:54 PM
1

What about dinner as a weekly date?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 07:41 PM
5

So what you’re saying is that women’s attention, affection, and bodies should be given freely to any man who wants it, regardless of whether he gives anything in return? Do some of y’all just not enjoy going out to dinner with people? Going on a date is so much fun if you’re doing in with the right person.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 07:41 PM
2

Maybe the apeiron of relationships is less about the genders of the people engaged and more about a combination of shared values, compatibility, effort, and attraction. No two relationships are exactly alike because no two people are exactly alike!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 07:31 PM
1

no, i think we're just telling men to choose better. men and women alike need to date less with their eyes and genitals and more with their brains. A great relationship is built on core values, effort, and attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:08 PM
3

a woman's never been president before, and a woman with 34 felonies certainly wouldn't make it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:03 PM
2

So basically, we women need to change things for men since y'all don't think social change is possible. We can do that, because the current arrangement where women work double and men work half as much just ain't doing it for us. Kids are a labor of love but it's hard fucking work. Birthing a child totally changes your body and mind, and that's just carrying and sending the kid out into the world. Have you ever been puked or shitted on or violently thrashed by a toddler having a fit? Shit isn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:59 PM
–

currently imagining going out for dinner and the guy handing me a dating IEP with his accommodations and modifications. I find this quite interesting. And a whole system with case workers who pull autistic guys out of work for small group instruction on cold approaches once a week.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:44 PM
1

I too am a fan of splendid isolation.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 06:08 PM
1

Male loneliness epidemic…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 05:04 PM
1

It’s also because our economy is based on the delusional belief in infinite exponential growth. If the growth stops we’re all fucked.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 11:06 PM
1

I just dated around until I found the right guy. I didn’t have a huge interest in dating or settling down until I was 25 or so. All the guys and gals I dated are huge nerds like I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 09:11 PM
5

What if his heart can’t handle it! Our bodies fade and nothing is guaranteed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 08:56 PM
1

So you would alpha fucks beta bucks lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 08:54 PM
9

Girl what if it stops workin one day. Dicks aren’t guaranteed. Nothing is!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 08:53 PM
6

Eh. A lot of men do not give honest information in the dating field. You would probably get bamboozled the first 3 or so times you tried to find the right guy. Just like men tell one another to listen to women’s words closely but watch their actions even more so, same goes for women selecting men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 08:52 PM
1

Not the cosmetic surgery 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 08:50 PM
2

Men seem to be scared, based on their fears about economic failure, global competition, men of other races, as well as by their reaction to women gaining legal autonomy. I learned in the course of studying for my human development and family studies degree that family function is far more important than family form. Of course single parent households struggle, but most of that comes down to economies of scale. Perhaps a kid with 8 parents will do the bestest because she has the resources of 8 wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 11:06 PM
1

Anything else you’d like to say in the negative about me? I find your commitment to finding the worst in others quite admirable. You really are someone who knows what they’re about.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 02:01 PM
6

Men and boys are just as human as I am and have just as rich an inner world and mind as I do. However, knowing that men think less of me for associating with them has had an effect on me. I spent my so called prime years as a gay woman. Now I have a loving man in my life and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. YMMV.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 02:00 PM
2

Hey. Before abortion we had infanticide and husbands would inspect newborns and chose to either keep the baby expose it to the elements. For most of human history most people didn’t make it to adulthood. that’s all I’m saying. Don’t be mad about history… facts don’t care about your feelings, sir.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 01:59 PM
1

You ever have a guy in your DMs ask you what you’d do if he were small enough to fit in your pocket? I feel that’s similar enough. Lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 01:48 PM
4

Right. Because someone had to birth people for the next generation and raise them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 01:47 PM
1

Dating is performative work for us too. Do you think our womanhood in innate? Gender is a performance babe. Why are you choosing to spend time with partners who contribute nothing? Choose better women. We exist. I plan most of my dates and I am the person who initiates intimacy in our relationship!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 01:41 PM
2

You’d make a really shitty gardener then. :) you gotta weed a garden on occasion. Nothing personal. But I don’t remember adolf hitler or pol pot or the ottoman turks being led by beautiful busty women when they went all genocidal. What do I know though? I’m just a dumb girl. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 01:40 PM
2

Can you blame us for being wary of men? We’re programmed from birth to recognize that too much contact with men ruins our “value”. Our dads tell us to stay away from boys and threaten to kill guys we crush on.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 01:29 PM
6

Women were forced to be kind to men. If we weren’t kind or pleasant we were put out to pasture. There was a threat of violence or ostracism behind every female action before we had full legal rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 01:28 PM
2

If women aren’t useful why haven’t y’all genocided us yet? It would be really easy to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 01:25 PM
1

Wait, men don’t want to date us? Then why are they so upset online about not being chosen? Or is it that most men don’t like women as people and only want to fuck us?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 01:24 PM
2

I don’t have daddy issues. I just got off the phone with him. He’s my best friend and my inspiration to be a better person every day. 💗🫶🏻 <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 01:22 PM
4

So men in India are doing well? Marital rape is a crime in other countries. If you fuck someone and they don’t wanna fuck it’s rape! But also rape of a daughter used to be a property crime against her father, so… Is domestic violence prosecuted in India or is it usually a private matter within families?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 12:45 PM
4

India does have its own gender issues. Men like to throw lye in women’s faces for turning them down and marital rape is not a crime. From what I read online, Indian men do NOT seem happier than American men. In fact, they seem to be doing worse? Quality hospitals are being shut down in the US and we are deciding that maternal and child health are not all that important. We want to raise birth rates but forget that with high birth rates come high death rates. See attached diagram of the DTM. <ima…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 12:33 PM
8

India does have its own gender issues. Men like to throw lye in women’s faces for turning them down and marital rape is not a crime. From what I read online, Indian men do NOT seem happier than American men. In fact, they seem to be doing worse?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 12:32 PM
5

Sure. We can remove women’s legal autonomy and ban dating and arrange our marriages via our fathers. But prepare for higher child and maternal mortality, and know that most marriages under this arrangement were loveless and only economic agreements at the end of the day. Most people for the bulk of human history have not known lifelong storybook love. We just survive and make do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 12:21 PM
3

Yes. Women are the primary engines of human social life because the bulk of men are uninterested in the delicate work of maintaining community relations. Being attached to a woman allows for social approval. It’s a status symbol to men and women alike- “this woman likes me therefore I am a prosocial creature”.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 12:11 PM
1

Certainly! I’d perhaps be a bit confused too. Only my mommy, daddy, doctor, and boyfriend are supposed to touch me there.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 12:08 PM
2

You been in there recently? 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 11:33 AM
–

:) I’m gonna go water my garden. I hope you have a great day!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 11:08 AM
–

<image> GPOY
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 11:04 AM
3

There’s been a lot of social climbing and clawing involved, don’t get it twisted. I’m the first in my family to graduate from high school! My dad does do a great job in maintaining friendships and close connections. I myopically never understood male loneliness until I went online because my dad hangs out with friends and family literally every day. Ugh I love my dad sm
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 11:04 AM
–

Armalite Rifle. Live free or die babey guns rock
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 10:57 AM
11

And the male of the species relies on the female for the furtherance of the human species forever. Now I have an AR and a uterus. You still only have an AR. I understand why men are scared.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 10:52 AM
3

I’m not expecting my dad to martyr himself. I bought a house with room for him so he could retire with me! But man has he sacrificed so much for the sake of us kids. I’m the bigger rabble rouser of the family now, though we’re planning a city council run for dad this year. We both do good works for our community without expectation of reward. It’s just how community works. If you want to have a village, you gotta be a villager. That being said, neither one of us has an issue with ostracizing peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 10:49 AM
1

Nope! But I do see that how we parent children forms them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 10:39 AM
2

Eh. Moms who “spoil” their sons by never teaching them functional living skills and thus making sure their kids always dependent upon them come to mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 10:29 AM
4

I want to make sure I’m following you correctly. Because of government and the legal system men are being morally stifled? I was lucky to be raised by a guy who doesn’t give a fuck about social graces and raised me to be willing to get in trouble for what I believe in, so your perspective is very new and eye opening to me. Thank you for sharing!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 10:27 AM
4

Notice I said human not male or female babes. Women in power will also go to great lengths to protect their egos. Bridezillas are a trope for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 10:21 AM
2

Especially if a man doesn’t want to have children he needs women more. Someone’s gotta create the next generation and he’s not gonna get pregnant. Men absolutely crave a woman’s affection more than women crave a man’s affection… in the real world among real men. A man’s love can be the most powerful thing in the world. Why else would god be a distant absent father whose love we crave to complete us? But often we women see a man’s “affection” as an extractive process, not an additive one.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 10:21 AM
14

Yep! The human ego can be a pretty fragile thing and humans in power will go to great lengths to protect their egos.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 10:17 AM
12

Well, yeah. In their personal lives, Men need women far more than women need men. Women have significant economic and social power in their ability to create and raise new copies of men. Men cannot do that. For eons men used social and economic controls to ensure women needed men as much as they need women and now that women are able to birth AND have a bank account, men feel less relevant or important or needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 10:00 AM
5

I take exception to the idea that men have very little social power. Men have led revolutions since the beginning of time. Men’s social power has brought us things like the American Revolution and the civil rights movement, both movement that pushed back against abusive men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 09:58 AM
5

So sorry but the fully “average” person doesn’t exist. Unless you count the main character of Idiocracy. We all got something about us!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 12:28 AM
3

The idea behind it is to store wealth with your wife so she could survive if you croaked. That being said, I don’t think $500 is that unreasonable amount to spend on someone if you’re gonna spend eternity together. Eternity usually means a mortgage and kids and such. I also recently learned I want a ring so other men know to stay away from me!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 01:54 AM
1

Just like the best way to ensure a guy isn’t with you just for your body is to take sex entirely off the table on the first date, even if you really want to bone him.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 07:09 PM
4

I’m with you 100%. We need to have conditions on the kinds of treatment we accept from people, especially our close loved ones. On the parenting thread, I think it’s very natural for parents to want to shield their children from hardship and do better from previous generations. But some folks overcorrect, forgetting that productive struggle is necessary for growth.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 03:57 AM
1

Perhaps part of women being more sexually selective is because they see how folks talk about women who aren’t sexually selective.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 03:42 AM
3

Incredibly average people the world over have learned to have their needs met through deception and manipulation. Behavior is rarely personal. People act like That because it was successful for them in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 03:14 AM
27

Parents don’t even love unconditionally, and I can’t blame them. No healthy love is unconditional because unconditional love has no boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 03:12 AM
0

As my boyfriend and their friends constantly say, “anything for the homies”. It ain’t gay to spoon your dudes, guys! 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 02:36 AM
3

You keep em how you got em! If you don’t maintain the newlywed energy you will not maintain newlywed bliss. I think you’re onto something here.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 02:35 AM
–

“Goddam girl babies” as my grandpa used to bemoan. Infanticide was usually the father’s choice- women would birth the child and present it to the father for inspection and either approval or exposure to the elements. Girl babies have been historically seen as a drain on resources and boys are seen as future economic producers.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 01:45 PM
–

Kind of like how infanticide makes biological sense. Make a defective, insolent, or ugly one and you destroy it to save resources. HOWEVER we are civilized people and hopefully can work beyond our biology for the betterment of society.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 11:52 AM
1

So true! Any difference in ontology must be an axiological difference too!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 06:18 PM
1

By taking fewer risks!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 04:08 PM
2

Men also have shorter lifespans and are more expensive to insure than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 03:19 PM
2

They’d probably be a bit more careful, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 12:40 PM
5

Men already try to get out of wearing condoms. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:18 AM
3

I’m just saying that if sex led to a whole new person growing inside you for ten months, you might understand why women are sexually selective. But since sex mostly just leads to ejaculation for you, you associate sex primarily with temporary pleasure, not the permanent condition of parenthood. Sex is about more than pleasure, though it is wonderful and feels really nice. Sex is literally life and death!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 10:29 AM
1

Women also take on an insane amount of risk in hooking up that the average man could only have nightmares of. If yall menfolks could get pregnant I think you’d also have a lower libido and be choosier!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 10:20 AM
1

Industrialization and consumerism made it so we soothe ourselves with new, shiny, perfect objects rather than accepting the imperfections of the world around us. The more “picture perfect” an image of life were sold, the less happy we are with what we have.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 11:02 PM
–

So wait, men don’t want to spend their lives with a woman they love? They don’t want to grow old with someone who chooses them and them only? They don’t want women to manage the household, cook, clean, and rear children? I thought men were the ones who loved more and were more romantic than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 02:58 AM
8

Luckily social scientists who’ve found human remains of disabled people who lived into old age in ancient times have evidence to show a drive to protect one another has existed for a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 01:20 AM
2

Children evolved to be cute so we don’t kill them when they act Like That.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 01:19 AM
4

If male sexuality is as contradictory as it’s being portrayed by OP, I’d be kind of repulsed, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 08:15 PM
14

I agree that most polygamous societies have to push “extra men” out and this system ends up hurting the majority of men in the community. But I do have to assert that a 12 year old having to marry her 50 year old second cousin is not liberating.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 03:06 PM
–

So for men… being a hookup > being marriage material And for women… being marriage material > being a hookup When the incentives are completely reversed for each group, it does make sense why us women have to be choosier and say no more often. If we sleep with anyone, we’re see as bad people and damaged goods. Why would we want to help a man achieve status by degrading our own?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 03:00 PM
–

I don’t quite know… I guess if you truly believe in 80/20 principle, any man who gets a date is Chad and part of the 20%. I like the idea of a Chad class… is there Chad class consciousness?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 02:57 PM
–

Well, by normal I mean “not evil or aberrant” here.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 01:59 PM
–

Isn’t the top 80% of everything going to the 20% of everyone? Wealth, decision making, etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 01:49 PM
5

To be fair, I didn’t have to do any work in my hookups and I have to do a LOT of work in my relationship. Groceries, cooking, planning, laundry, yard work, dishes, planning dates, maintaining his schedule, etc. If you must know, we boinked after our first date but before our second. We’re sitting on the couch together eating ice cream and watching tv right now. Life is good.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 11:03 PM
-1

If that’s how you’d like to frame it, I don’t think I’ll be able to change your mind. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 10:55 PM
9

I still reckon the long term guys are more special… but also I didn’t believe in love and marriage at all until I found my current guy 🥹 The guys I hooked up with usually knew about something I wanted to know more about. But that’s also how most of my relationships form lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 12:29 PM
1

For me, the guys I hooked up didn’t have any particular ambition and they weren’t super good looking, but they usually had a niche interest I wanted to know more about.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 12:26 PM
18

Some men aren’t worth the work of a relationship, but still have a working dong, hands, and mouth when we’re horny. I know it may be hard to believe… but some of us women are using men for their bodies in the same way they use ours. we women are not morally superior critters. Just because I wanna boink someone doesn’t mean I wanna boink em forever and have their babies and do their laundry and plan a wedding… that’s reserved for a special guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 11:37 AM
9

Some of these sweet lovely men either don’t realize that we categorize some of them for “recreational use” the same way they do for us women OR they don’t understand that it’s a lesser status than being the person we share our lives with… even though they get it when it’s them and their standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 11:36 AM
18

I think women, like men, date until they find someone who is compatible in the long term. Most of us weren’t getting abused by Chad in our early 20s… we were going on dates with normal dudes and it didn’t work out.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 11:22 AM
26

Because relationships are a LOT of work?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 11:19 AM
4

Do you thinks wives are a reward for work? Because if so, I should have, like, 3 wives at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 05:25 PM
1

:) I care about you, and I reckon many other people do as well. I’m not going to try to convince you to volunteer, but I will tell you that volunteering is my passion in life. It gives me someone bigger than myself to care about. I’ve also been able to link up with congresspeople and filmmakers and do some really cool research while doing it. Folks not wanting to do any work without being immediately remunerated is why the world is as fucked up as it is. Not everything is about cash my friend! S…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 03:34 PM
0

Helping others and your community gives volunteers a sense of ownership and belonging in their communities. There are also physical health benefits- those who volunteer are less likely to have high blood pressure than those who don’t. Also, volunteering doesn’t always mean serving up meals at the soup kitchen! I volunteer through my local historical society because I enjoy research and talking to older folks.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 09:35 AM
–

I’m glad you enjoy your vacations and have economic security and enjoy your hobby. I do hope things get better for you!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 07:07 PM
–

Yeah, sadly drugs are easy til they’re hard. Do you spend any time outside? Authentically relax ever? Take time off from your job?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 06:57 PM
–

Sounds like you’ve been really depressed for a really long time and learning to mask it. Masking is a coping tool for sure… what other ways are you coping?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 06:49 PM
–

I’ll keep you in my thoughts. I wrestled with those demons for years and it took me a long time to want to live again. 🫶🏻 hope things get better for you and that you can have an honest discussion with your partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:48 PM
–

That’s a problem. The only way to tame it is to name it!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:46 PM
–

This is a good one to know…that most men see most women as children and use kid gloves with us. Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:45 PM
–

Dude, that’s gotta be a crushing feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:44 PM
–

Men can enjoy romance with women! It’s a joy to see a man be tender and sweet.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 02:27 PM
2

Contra dancing has some cuties and lots of really wise old folks! No drinking required.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 07:32 PM
2

I found my shmoopy via the cursed dating apps. I had to learn how to take the apps more seriously and lead with my values.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 04:05 PM
1

Volunteering is the answer I fear! People who volunteer in their communities are happier, more connected, and are more able to make meaningful relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 03:46 PM
5

You can find young attractive pussies at your local humane society. You can even adopt one!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 03:33 PM
5

Dating in bumfuck nowhere New England is kinda fun. A good number of eligible bachelors are my kin, a good number are on dope, a good number are older than 60, and there’s a nice venn diagram where there’s overlap. I luckily found a guy who’s from across the country and came here for law school. Us country girls gotta bring in guys from outta town to keep the gene pool from shallowing out!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 03:32 PM
1

Invisibility is a double-edged sword. As a woman, I personally enjoy that I’m less and less noticeable to strangers as I age. But it certainly can hurt as a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 11:22 AM
0

And there’s nothing wrong with being average in looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 07:36 AM
2

Perhaps the pretty are getting prettier and the ugly are getting uglier?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 12:20 AM
30

Yes. The loneliness epidemic is part of the “personalization” craze that is just massive corporations trying to separate us for marketing purposes. When we are all constantly afraid, lonely, and self-conscious, it’s a LOT easier to constantly sell us stuff. When we are loved and have community and believe we are enough, we’re bad customers.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 03:12 PM
4

Because they were reproductive equipment.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 12:20 PM
4

This is true. I still think it’s okay to acknowledge that while still not valuing wealth very highly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 04:08 AM
5

Values are relative. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 04:02 AM
2

I wonder if algorithmic driven radicalization and insanity is something we’ll ever be able to successfully overcome… in a world where companies are always clandestinely experimenting on us with code and LLMs become more complex, methinks not.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 10:08 AM
4

My dad had mice before I moved him in with me. He had two back rooms and a porch filled with shit that wasn’t even his that I went through and organized/tossed. My boyfriend had piles of dirty laundry everywhere and garbage overflowing in the kitchen before I moved him in with us. He has not had to do a single load of laundry since I’ve been dating him because I stay on top of it. One year after we all started living together, we bought a house instead of continuing life in an apartment. Life is…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 04:54 PM
4

In terms of household work (and anything I do, really), I want a Bus Factor greater than one. I don’t want the household to fall to shambles if I get hit by a bus. Good leaders don’t silo the division of labor. I want my boyfriend and dad to be able to take care of themselves, just in case I go away on vacation or die or something! They don’t find that standard too crazy. I don’t nag. I ask nicely for help with dishes, mowing the lawn, and vacuuming and occasionally changing the bed. My boyfrien…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 04:41 PM
1

Ah, gotcha... so you want to find someone who you're compatible with in terms of ambitions. You don't want a partner who is reaching for less than you or for more than you. Makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 01:27 PM
-2

being a woman means being the holder of the standards. We're not complaining, we're trying to improve things... if you don't want to be held to a higher standard, date a woman with no ambitions or goals. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 12:57 PM
10

Am I nagging or am I asking for help in maintaining our lovely home? :) I ask so much of my boyfriend because I think so much of him. I want him to come home to a nice, clean space. He enjoys helping create and maintain said space. That being said, nobody's ever gonna give me an award for being the best housekeeper and my sister is always on my ass for being a slob. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 12:53 PM
2

Story of my life. I just do me and whoever thinks I’m too much can go find less. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 10:45 PM
3

I’ve decided that my personal identity isn’t anything I need recognized or known by anyone else. <image> Kind of a Dean Pelton situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 09:36 PM
1

Usually, people who are considered odd in one way or another are more likely to be accepting of other people’s idiosyncrasies. But then again, being a bisexual woman is pretty socially acceptable now, and a bit fetishized if you’re hot. So perhaps for that reason some bisexies do not develop that empathy. I do agree that it’s gay people all across the political spectrum. Milo comes to mind, as does that Arielle Scarcella lady.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 09:24 PM
5

I’m part of THEE most oppressed groups ever- bi women with a boyfriend. 😉 and you’re right that I don’t come off super queer like I did when I was younger, but I do feel like my experience dating women gave me more empathy toward the male dating experience. It’s okay to play around with your identity for a little bit and end up cishet. I’ve identified as a woman, nonbinary, lesbian, bi, straight. No shame in it. Finally figured out none of that has much bearing on my identity for me, and I’m hap…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 09:15 PM
12

Queer people are more likely to accept queering social norms than cishets. Seems like a pretty airtight thesis to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 08:53 PM
1

I know what happens in my own family and in the households of close friends who are stepparents!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:51 PM
24

Yeah, I know a number of stepparents (men and women!) who love their stepkids and enjoy spending time with them. If you don't want to deal with other people's kids, that's fine, but don't act like everyone hates children. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 01:46 PM
1

Yeah, there are some nerds who feel the need to gatekeep and ogle and be gross, but I don’t spend my time with those guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 06:03 PM
2

I love historical garment making!!! I’m currently hand embroidering and beading an over skirt for the ren faire this fall. I’ll have to bookmark that vid- thanks for sharing friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 05:58 PM
2

What do you like to do? I'm a crochet/sew/embroider/weaving/felting kinda gal.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 03:53 PM
2

oh absolutely. some nerds can be evil and manipulative. my first boyfriend in HS had an entire campaign where he would try to convince me that women aren't funny. He also thought since he had obscure taste in music, he was better than normies. ew.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:14 PM
3

Yep. I love my stable, steady, doting nerd of a man. I love when his face lights up talking about his katanas, I love that he understands the importance of hobbies and quiet time, and I love that I don't have to worry about him when he's out with friends. My girlfriends all are with nerdy guys and couldn't be happier. I'm also a huge nerd too, but for history and fiber arts, so I think that's what makes it work.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:52 PM
3

Of course, none of us can change how we were parented, but we can certainly reparent ourselves as adults. I have a healthy relationship with dad but a strained mom relationship and that made dating wicked hard. My dad just threatened to kill guys I crushed on. But now he and my bf are best friends. As adults, it's our job to raise kids who are surrounded by healthy love so they can go out into the world and find their own partners. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:35 PM
17

As a former trauma dumper, it takes a lot of work to reel it in and realize that my aunt's heroin footrot or the beatings I received as a child isn't great dinner chat. However, it is an absolute honor when my partner is emotionally vulnerable with me and tells me how he's feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:31 PM
2

humans are pattern recognizers and repeaters and our parents are our first models of romantic love. learning what part of your parent's love lives are dysfunctional and unlearning it in our own lives is so important!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:26 PM
12

hot girls who want stability: date guys who play magic the gathering and dungeons and dragons!!! they're the best!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:23 PM
1

When you’re the sex relegated to the home sphere, of course you’re gonna decorate. Ever read the yellow wallpaper story?
/r/MensRights30/07/25 12:19 PM
1

Women often have much higher standards of living than men.
/r/MensRights30/07/25 01:25 AM
–

So you prefer women who are mostly attractive enough without makeup, meaning that all men do not prefer full makeup. How does this factor into your argument that most men prefer women with makeup when you yourself prefer women to wear little to none?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 10:24 PM
–

I’m not trying to be disingenuous- I’m reiterating my intentions because you misinterpreted them initially. But back to what kind of makeup you like- what are your preferences?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 09:17 PM
–

Hey, I’m just telling you that while you may be right that the beauty industry is the product of male desire, not everyone engages with the industry and those who do not engage aren’t ugly gargoyle women on the verge of ropemaxxing. Lookism definitely exists. I get a lot of favor just by being a pretty girl who smiles a lot and I don’t deny that. I understand that you are attracted to women who wear makeup. What kind of makeup do you like? A full face beat? A cat eye?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 08:27 PM
–

Men’s feeling of attraction matter but women’s feeling of their own dating experiences don’t matter. Interesting position!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 08:19 PM
–

Come catch me and my bare face and hairy legs on the leg press while reading the newspaper 😘
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 08:17 PM
–

I don’t wear makeup and have never struggled to curry favor with men. No man has ever told me I’d look better with eyeliner and blush. And no woman gives me any grief for refusing to buy in, either. The choice I get the most flak for is refusing to shave, and it’s usually women with a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 08:15 PM
–

We all learn and grow over time. Luckily I realized that I have to like myself enough to feel like my presence wasn’t offending others in order to make meaningful relationships!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 04:50 PM
6

Well, thanks for clarifying. Hope you have a great day!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 03:16 PM
4

Filling in the blanks… cuck? Did you mean to say cuck?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 03:10 PM
6

I want people to have boundaries with me. Actual Unconditional love is unhealthy and codependent. Love should have the condition of respect, at the very least.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 02:49 PM
–

Yeah, when I thought nobody was gonna like me as much as I liked them it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 02:43 PM
–

Emotional labor is the planning and executive functioning that happens behind the scenes. It's stuff like knowing what everyone's schedule looks like, purchasing and wrapping gifts, making sure the home is stocked with enough food and dry goods, and making a list for husbands who don't know what to clean in the house. It's very real and sometimes men take on the bulk of the emotional labor, but often it's women who are engaged in the act of kinkeeping. Like, I'm the person who reminds my boyfrie…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 03:19 PM
–

folding and putting away laundry is a whole ordeal dude! Laundry takes as much time as it did before washing machines because we have so many more clothes now :)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 03:16 PM
–

I cook, clean, wash, dry, do dishes, keep track of schedules, weed whack, and maintain the burn pile at my house. My dad helps with cooking and laundry and maintains the boiler/well/septic and garage. My boyfriend does what I ask him to do (usually dishes, vacuuming, and feeding the cat) and takes out the trash. Granted, they both work more hours than I do outside of the home so I let it slide. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 03:15 PM
1

My boyfriend is always trying to spend time with me. We miss one another if we're away for one another longer than 12 hours. If your girlfriend causes you so much stress that you have to drink, you know you're allowed to break up with her?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 03:08 PM
2

You've never worked under and inspiring leader, have you? It changes things. You perhaps would rather be drinking beer on the couch, but your perspective is just one of many. Piaget would place you in the preoperative stage of cognitive development based on the way you posit others think.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 02:59 PM
2

I'm with you. It's valuable for folks to break down what they believe and why, but for so many people it's such an uncomfortable experience that they'll deflect from it at all costs. Self-reflection is good!!! Ex: my dad has reflected and let go of a lot of the toxic shit he used to do when I was a kid (screaming, hitting) and now he's lowkey the ideal man (helps around the house, loves making sure everyone is fed and taken care of).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 02:55 PM
1

Traditional masculinity can be nontoxic. You can provide and protect without demeaning others!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 02:48 PM
3

literally, this industrialization stuff is bootycheeks!! I am a woman and not a machine!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 01:12 PM
5

I still agree with my first premise in terms of porn. And most technologies, tbh. I’d wallop Thomas Edison and Henry Ford if I saw them today. We were meant to move slowly and go to sleep when it’s dark out dammit!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 09:10 AM
3

Extreme emotions all the time are definitely a lot to handle, but I think there’s always some sort of emotion underneath anything I’m doing. Even if it’s just plain old happiness doing the legwork for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 09:03 AM
7

I don’t believe 24/7 access to looking at weird sex acts is a human need but ymmv.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 09:02 AM
–

It’s better to get rejected for who you are than accepted for a false version of yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 08:25 AM
–

You don’t have to hide who you are in order to attract someone. You are good enough as you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 08:25 AM
4

Interesting. Do you find that you notice you have moments when you notice your emotions or do you tend to just have a flat affect 24/7?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 08:24 AM
5

Noticeable to you or noticeable to others?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:48 AM
4

When you say tomboys, do you mean girls who fix cars and work in construction? Or girls who don’t wear makeup? What does tomboy mean to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:22 AM
6

Except humans had to create consumer culture… and advertising… which creates an artificial problem and presents the solution to it! Have you seen some of the products we’ve been fooled into “needing”? We don’t need underwire bras or baby food or anything in the beauty aisle. But someone makes money if we think we need it. Consumer capitalism is a beast to defeat. However I would be so happy if we lived in a world where who you are is no longer tied to what products you purchase.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:21 AM
7

NLOG women tend to do NLOG shit to appeal to men rather than to satisfy themselves. Like “I’m not like other girls, I let my boyfriend watch all the porn he wants!” Dyke is kind of a slur? I used to be one and also I’m deeply un-PC so I use it. Notice how being a pick-me has to do with men. And how being with men is a normative gender role for women. A pick me is a normative feminine woman who norms to femininity in ways that harm other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:15 AM
5

It’s life. Everyone gets bullied; whether or not you toughen up and learn to stand up for yourself is another story. Men and women alike enforce gender roles. When women call men gay for this that and the third, it shapes what is acceptable for men to do. You can go online and find critique of just about any male or female behavior. Mostly because opinions are like assholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:11 AM
9

I don’t wear makeup so I don’t have a horse in that race. But women’s bodies have literally been shaped by male mate choice. We are the only mammals with permanent breast tissue because men like boobs and selected for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:07 AM
11

I actively defy gender norms and have never been called a pick me. I more often get called ugly or mannish. Usually “pick mes” are feminine women who cater to the male gaze. Like, would you consider a butch dyke to be a pick me for dressing the way she does? I certainly wouldn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:05 AM
8

Accusing a cis woman of being trans is the equivalent of accusing a straight guy of being gay. It’s accusing someone of not performing gender correctly. You are correct in that femininity is strictly enforced… I was bullied into shaving my legs when I was 8, quit when I was 18, and the people who made the most noise about it was fellow women. My sisters MIL threatened to hold me down and shave me! Talk about violent enforcement of gender roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:01 AM
13

Are you saying that healthy men generally do not have emotions? Just making sure I understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 06:59 AM
9

A good girl’s girl is willing to call out another girl for shitty behavior. And I find it interesting the way you frame femininity as something constructed only by women… male mate choice definitely influences how women present themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 06:57 AM
8

It is a learned behavior and a lot of women try and break the norms. They get called ugly blue haired feminists for doing so. Like half of this sub is dedicated to the idea that women aren’t feminine enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 06:50 AM
5

Some people were perverts back then just as some people are perverts now. The majority are still normies.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 08:23 PM
8

I wonder how successful a society full of guys who only drink, eat, watch entertainment, gamble and goon would be. Lust and in particular Men’s sex drives were controlled for the majority of history to ensure shit got done. An enslaved man in the American South working 16 hour days in the field wasn’t getting endless pussy. Nor was a medieval serf. Most guys (and gals) throughout history have had fairly boring sex lives and did a lot more outside of sex with their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 06:53 PM
–

Yes. Women are seen as the ones responsible for healing broken men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 06:35 PM
1

Yes. If you are someone who defies norms, it is best you get with someone who also defies norms. Otherwise you’re gonna get bullied in a relationship. The majority of people aren’t your type and that’s normal. You’re not meant to date all of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 06:27 PM
15

Men did not have unlimited access to brothels, ever. They had access to brothels but it’s been historically stigmatized and often ruined family finances. Additionally, men have not had unlimited wife sex from the beginning of time. They had to wait a week a month while she was on the rag and have to abstain while she’s heavily pregnant, usually. And never mind the fact that historically most men were engaged in hard physical labor for the entirety of their lives and thus didn’t have time to cons…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 06:17 PM
33

You know, for most of human history, young men haven’t had unlimited access to porn and hentai and they were just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 12:36 PM
–

Nah, it’s stuff like… making sure your nails are trimmed. You’d be surprised how many guys walk around with too long nails or untied shoes or unstyled hair. Clean up!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 12:49 AM
–

Generally……… Men are really bad at looking around and finding things. Women like to complain about their problems without necessarily wanting solutions. Both don’t like it when I talk about how I keep my dad’s colonoscopy pics on my fridge door.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 12:48 AM
3

I believe women can do wrong. My own maternal lineage suffers from abuse, neglect, and alcoholism. Shit, I called CPS on my own addict sister because she can’t self-reflect. And I’d do it again because I believe that kids should be cared for and people should be held accountable for their actions. I do agree that men have been pushed into a system that deprives them of their humanity. I’m grateful to be the daughter of a single dad who went his own way and started his own business so nobody coul…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 12:40 PM
2

I think we as humans tend to see the more vulnerable parts of our in groups. As a woman, I see more women critically self-reflecting than men. But I know both do so at about equal rates. I also know that women tend to have to spend a lot of their mental load worrying about and caring for other people, so it sometimes looks like they’re thinking about everything but themselves at any given moment. As a result, some women filter out their own wants and needs or displace their needs as the needs of…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 11:09 AM
1

Most people don’t lead with their worst traits. You are correct in that most people are ineffective communicators.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 08:01 PM
1

So you’re dealing with women who can’t state their needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 04:38 PM
3

Whether or not you want to lead in a relationship is up to you. I’m the leader in my relationship for sure and it makes sense- I have a lot of vision for our future together and I’m more comfortable making decisions than my boyfriend. I wouldn’t mind being led by a man as long as I trusted in his vision and ability to make decisions, but I get to be the visionary in my relationship and it works for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 04:37 PM
1

Yes. Being trusted around kids and in children’s spaces is a female privilege. I can go to a playground without any children; a man who does that would have the police called on him.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 10:39 AM
1

Okay but my friend and I were discussing how cool it would be if everyone had their own case manager. Imagine someone made sure you did the shot you needed to do and made sure you kept appointments and such. Life would rock.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 02:09 AM
2

You should read the evolution of beauty!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 06:05 PM
0

I love the Hegelian lord-bondsman dialectic!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 05:58 PM
2

Same with men picking good women, I fear. So many men will happily snub a mid woman with her values in order and go for a crazy hot chick. Humans love to bypass what they need and instead dive head first into what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 04:30 PM
1

Yes! If you wanna get technical in terms of behavioral/cognitive terms, being in a relationship is great for cognitive scaffolding and getting folks in the zone of proximal development. Meaning, people grow faster and better when they have someone to grow with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 04:23 PM
1

He has to train me up too! We have to teach people how to love us. We both grow one another in a relationship. I view respect as holding someone to high expectations; I ask so much of him because I think so much of him. I am also just a generally bossy person (teacher, leader, etc) so that’s coming out here. I definitely own when I’m being bitchy bossy and apologize. But I’m primarily affectionately bossy :3
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 11:46 AM
0

I hope I don’t come off as disrespectful or patronizing toward my partner. He’s my world and I’m grateful for the life we’ve built together. I never have to worry about how he refers to me because I know he holds me in high regard; I hold him in equally high regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 11:29 AM
3

Nope! We’re imperfect too. When I am losing my patience with my partner, I remember how patient he is with me when I’m acting a fool. We give one another grace because that’s what you’re supposed to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 11:03 AM
3

I agree that so much of this stems from how we parent girl vs. boy children. My partner was never taught how to clean. Luckily you just gotta tell him once. But I do think that we arrest the development of boys by not teaching them practical self-care skills. It’s why I’m big on “child labor” (chores!) as a teacher- everyone needs to know how to clean up after themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 11:02 AM
0

Good partners aren’t born- they’re made through conscious effort on both sides. My older lady friends and I always talk and joke about having to “train up” our boyfriends and husbands in running a household… if we don’t teach them, nobody else will. Men are imperfect and will disappoint sometimes, but that’s just humanity. I like being able to build something with someone; it feels a lot better than just attaching myself to a man who has everything figured out already.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 10:07 AM
1

Therapy just taught me how to assert myself while respecting the rights of others as well as how to balance emotional and logical thinking. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 09:49 AM
1

Family compatibility is sooo important. I didn’t realize this until my mid 20s, but anyone who can’t hang with my fam can’t hang with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 07:57 PM
2

Men should be allowed to be on the receiving end of affection and love. That’s not pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 05:23 PM
1

Men want to be a woman’s babygirl so bad. Have you ever held a man to your chest for snuggles? They melt right into your arms. I have no problem asking my boyfriend out on dates or pampering him when he’s had a rough day. If I wanna be treated well, I gotta treat him well, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 05:23 PM
2

Misery loves company and they want all women to be as miserable as them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 05:18 PM
2

Isn’t it weird that the ladies who believe that women should be seen and not heard won’t ever shut up about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 05:17 PM
4

The men who approached me are nothing like the man I approached. I’m glad I picked the guy I picked instead of letting someone else pick me! Others’ mileage may of course vary though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 01:39 AM
3

Oh I am very much accepting of my brutish, masculine nature. accepting my femininity is much harder for me. 😭 Very few people are interested in thinking from someone else’s perspective, primarily because people don’t even want to do the work to think out their own point of view.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 07:39 PM
2

Yes. We have to practice cognitive empathy in order to achieve any sort of understanding of other people. It’s why I teach people how to think from other perspectives in the social studies classrooms. Very few people on this planet are truly insane or illogical- once we understand the information other folks are receiving in order to make their decisions, their decisions start to make a lot more sense. It’s just basic game theory principle. But also I’ve been the woman of the house since I was 6…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 06:31 PM
4

Yep! If you’re not willing to invest in yourself and in another person, you’re not searching for a relationship. You’re searching for a caretaker if you don’t want to put any work in. I wish men and women alike understood this. Our boyfriends are not our daddies and our girlfriends are not our mommies. We’re partnered adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 04:44 PM
3

Right, so their individual egos and experiences and complications! That’s why we read books and watch films and talk to people- to dig into the deep complexities of being a human. What specifically am I missing in terms of understanding men? I’m always told I don’t understand men but that men understand me, but I’m rarely given an explanation behind that… what do men understand about me as a woman that I don’t understand about men?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 04:42 PM
4

I thought men were simple. They just want love, affection, food, sex, a nice place to come home to, and someone to listen to them and thinking highly of them. Am I missing anything?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 04:13 PM
4

Yeah, my boyfriend straight up lives to make my life easier. It rocks and I live to make his life better, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 04:12 PM
2

Everyone wants to be loved, nobody wants to be the one doing the hard work of loving.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 04:10 PM
2

Everything worth having is a lot of work. Most cheap thrills are less work but also far less reward.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 04:09 PM
1

I love my daddy. He raised me and my sister the best he could with what he had. His childhood wasn’t perfect and some of that violence spilled over, but he loves me more than anyone else in the world does. It’s an honor to spend every day with him as he’s aging. When I bought a house I made sure I had room for him to live with us too. ❤️ <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 12:25 AM
3

Diesel mechanic’s daughter here… I do judge cars a little based on practicality. Anyone with a pickup larger than a 1500 probably doesn’t do much truck stuff irl. My boyfriend has an 01 tacoma, which lets me know he’s practical and reliable. It’s also wicked fun to drive. I wish the American market didn’t totally blow up the compact truck category. The old rangers, s-10s, and tacomas rocked.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 04:25 PM
1

He also got full custody of us girls and managed to get our mom to pay for his health insurance as in-kind child support. First time he initiated because he cheated (with my mom!), second time he initiated because my mom cheated. lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 12:41 PM
3

Why would men initiate divorce? There is little to no incentive for them to do so. *my dad initiated and led both of his divorces but he’s Built Different and also made his ex wives pay for 50% of the divorces lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 10:56 AM
–

I believe that technological development is far outpacing human development. Our brains were not meant to process so. Much. Information. All. The. Time. Most people are not capable of functioning effectively in our current high tech era, and we somehow blame them rather than slowing down society a bit to relieve everyone’s anxieties a bit. Basically, we accelerated so quickly in the past 150 years and it’s entirely changing what it means to be human. Welcome to the Anthropocene era! And as for A…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 12:51 AM
–

<image> You’d love this book OP! Read it last year and as a generalist, it made my heart flutter lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:51 PM
–

Miss girl be ffr!! I’ve never heard “girls will be girls” as an excuse for a girl child’s behavior. But also I was held to high standards, made to do manual labor, and got my ass whooped as a kid so my experience is vastly different from what you’re describing here.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:50 PM
2

Nuanced thinking?! In this sub?! Never.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:47 PM
3

My dad had me, his elder daughter, when he was 37. We’re still kicking it. He spends every day w me, my sister, and his grandkids. The only weird part about having an old dad that I’m besties with is that folks used to assume he was my grandpa and now they assume he’s my husband. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:45 PM
1

If you find the right partner, marriage is a boon. One of my colleagues reminded me that EVERYONE feels like a most of the time today. Married, single, divorced, widowed. Young, old, ugly, gorgeous. All suffering. Choose the suffering you like the best. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:43 PM
1

Sorry I’m secretly a boomer!! here’s a link that should work.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 02:21 AM
2

I often don't know as much as I'd like to; enlighten me! I love reading tech journalism and research.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 09:39 PM
2

There are so many fembot movies and so few boyfriendbot movies!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 08:01 PM
5

Chatbots are not smart. It is all artifice, no intelligence. A LLM just spews out statistically probable words.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 07:59 PM
4

Ask openAI, who just hired a forensic psychologist to look into algorithmically induced psychosis! It’s not just LLMs doing this- the algorithms on social media do much of the same. Psychosis is a break from reality. Algorithms just show us the things we want to see, not reality, in order to keep us engaged.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 07:57 PM
-1

maybe if we made the world better for men back when they were boys... but alas, it's just a pipe dream.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 03:32 PM
16

I would rather not give lonely people psychosis-inducing machines. I would much rather focus on human-based solutions like community groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 03:31 PM
6

So many men want intimate, loving sex with a long term partner they can trust. They’re just not incentivized to admit it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 10:42 AM
1

Dating is hard regardless of gender (in different ways!) and it’s hard to be “good” at it honestly. Especially in our modern age without explicit courtship structures. We’re all trying to find our paths and sometimes we turn down some dead ends along the way B)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 10:33 AM
–

I’m not saying he’s gay- I’m saying he prefers the company of men to the company of women. You can be sexually attracted to someone without liking them as a person. Many men and women do it regularly!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 05:28 PM
–

You are saying that you prefer men’s company to that of women. That’s okay. Just own that!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 03:38 PM
–

You’re sexually attracted to women and intellectually attracted to and likely love men more than you do women. And that’s okay, just own it as you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 01:23 PM
–

Why would a face pic provoke violent loony toon people?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 01:17 PM
–

I made omelettes with garlic scapes for brekkie :) life is good.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 01:01 PM
–

God, I wish. Instead I’m cursed with human consciousness.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 12:00 PM
–

<image> Glad I’m a bad bot because I’m a human woman! Watering my garden, then I’m gonna go make breakfast, and after we’re headed up to camp for the weekend. What are you up to today?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 11:45 AM
–

Your communication style is fascinating. Do you find it helps you make friends to talk like that? What are your favorite topics of conversation? Right now I’m really into talking about Saddam Hussein, my garden, the Free State Project, and Peter Thiel. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 11:19 AM
–

How do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 11:11 AM
6

Stuff like this is why when we bought a house, I made sure my bf had his own room for his hobbies. He deserves his own space and to spend time with his friends and to veg out just like I do. Granted, we’re both knowledge workers so I think that’s part of what allows us to understand that we both need brain breaks.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 09:48 PM
6

Yeah, I hate the blanket aspersions cast at gamers or sportsmen. Let men have hobbies dammit!!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 08:50 PM
11

The horrible truth in the matter is that most of us don’t know the perfect combination of things that attract us, or what we should do to attract others. Most people are bumbling about clueless. Women are just as clueless as men, which is why most advice is kind of useless. The best thing you can do is build yourself a life that you like- hopefully you’ll attract people who want to live the same lifestyle. But if you don’t, at least you’re living a nice life.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 08:00 PM
5

I’m glad you’re enjoying your routine! What do you like to work at the gym? I do a lot of legs and cardio and swim in the pool.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 04:26 PM
23

The big thing is to establish a healthy daily routine that you love. Unfortunately the truth of the matter is that people who are physically and mentally healthy have a better chance of finding healthy relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 04:19 PM
–

You gotta be good to yourself in order to be good to others. People who hate themselves very often show it in how they treat others.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 05:21 PM
–

Maybe if you work on your relationship with yourself, you’ll find that relationships with others are a lot easier. Why do you feel the need to mistreat people? Why are you pushing women away by your actions? Are you self sabotaging because you don’t think you deserve to be happy?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 02:12 AM
–

Oh my bad! I mean like how do you treat yourself as a person? Like are you a good friend and caretaker to yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 01:37 AM
2

I used to read for rhetorical patterns in profiles. Anything that is inviting (rather than repellent or directive) and shares a person’s values and what they enjoy doing is providing good information for the sake of making choices in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 12:21 AM
1

I think it’s good to lay out expectations early and often.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 12:16 AM
–

How do you treat yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 12:15 AM
–

Dur dur, it’s not misandry to beat my husband /s
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 12:14 AM
15

Yeah, anyone who wants strict gender roles in a relationship should know the trade offs. Luckily we now live in a world where we can all negotiate our own terms of engagement for sex, love, and romance. If you can communicate clearly, you can get just about any type of relationship you’d like.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 12:39 PM
2

What are you attracted to that is “fairly fixed and simplistic”?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 12:34 PM
1

Your level of educational attainment and your value as a human being are mutually exclusive, my friend! Some of the brightest and best people I know have very little formal education.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 02:03 AM
1

I too wish we as humans were more supportive and uplifting of one another. We’re all being pulled apart by personalized algorithms and the abolition of public space. :( Im glad you have uplifting communities. I hope you find some caring folks irl too!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 07:47 PM
3

Correct. Women, when given political power, have just as much of an ability to abuse power as men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 02:47 AM
0

There are certainly some terrible frigging women out there who use and abuse men. I can agree with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 08:34 PM
1

I’m not all that embarrassed. Women definitely talk mad shit and I hate it when they do so. Men are architects of one another’s demise and men in power perpetuate the myth of male disposability.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 08:28 PM
5

Yes. As much vitriol as they spew, they’re not out here rounding up men to put into camps or leading death campaigns or sending millions of young men off to die in a war they have nothing to do with. Men do that to one another. It’s horrifying.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 08:09 PM
6

Nobody hates men as much as men, unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 07:23 PM
2

All relationships are imbalanced because every person is different. There will always be power dynamics in any sort of relationship. It’s about choosing what kinds of imbalances you prefer.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 01:23 PM
1

Ah yes. I hate when people accuse men of being gay or less of a man for expressing themselves differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 11:55 AM
5

My heart goes out to you. I hope you get the chance to model happy, healthy love to your kids!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 05:23 PM
9

“Simp” could also be a decent choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 01:43 PM
16

Men often have really low standards for themselves. They’re happy living in a bare room and eating gruel. We as a society are responsible for men settling for “good enough”. I think men and boys need to be taught the same relationship skills we teach girls and women!!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 01:26 PM
28

We call girls who are too into boys boy-crazy, but there’s no equivalent term for boys who are too into girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 12:40 PM
2

So you want a life that is child free- say that! You’ll attract other child free ladies, with any luck. Don’t waste your efforts trying to attract people you’re not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 03:47 PM
1

A lot of folks (men and women alike) try to date using rhetorical patterns of repelling what they don’t want rather than trying to attract what they do want.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 02:57 PM
1

I guess I get that. Sometimes we do find out what we like by experiencing partners we don’t like, but it’s kind of a “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me” situation. We gotta be reflective and make choices based on what we authentically want, not based on who’s giving us attention at any given moment. Thank you for explaining your perspective to me!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 05:37 PM
4

Gotcha. So if someone says they like kind people and get with 20 kind people, then they retain SMV?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 05:29 PM
4

Men aren't seen as "ran through" as often as women are. Men's penises aren't seen as worn out or crushed by sex. Women's bodies are seen as destroyed by the presence of a penis, despite the fact that entire babies come out of there.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:22 PM
4

So the quality of man you’re fucking either adds or subtracts value?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 02:26 PM
6

Fair enough. Hope you have a great day!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 11:43 AM
0

Wait to have sex then until you’re sure? HIV is now transmitted among straight people more than gay or bisexies.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 11:23 AM
6

Get tested babey! Just because another man has been with someone doesn’t mean that they’re dirty or dangerous. Men do not corrupt people or lessen their value by fucking them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 10:59 AM
6

A bisexual man and a woman with a high body count are basically the same in the “marketplace” because a man’s penis is a corrupting force, apparently.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 10:57 AM
43

Another big thing you’re missing is that we societally see being subjected to male sexuality as something that “ruins” bodies. If a man has sex with a person, that person loses SMV. Doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, a man fucking you is seen as degrading. We need to change our views on male sexuality as something that can be fun, sweet, and caring… not just a destructive, degrading force.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 10:56 AM
3

I just want the SEC to regulate crypto, the FTC to break up trusts, and the FCC to unclog the phone and internet lines. This girl ain't asking for much!!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 02:06 PM
1

Yes, being creepy or perverted is somehow allowed when you’re a woman because you’re seen as less of a threat. See also: single childless men are seen as more suspect than single childless women. Women as default caretakers of kids and men as default threats. :(
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 10:28 AM
3

I want a partner to build with. Someone to steer the ship of a family with! Someone I can confide in and someone who can come to me when they're struggling too. Someone who I can help build up into the best self while they help build me up, too. Reciprocity and teamwork are key for a good relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 04:32 PM
0

I do not hope for your pain and suffering. I hope you have a great day. I hope Hell is empty.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 04:29 PM
–

Does that mean that cosmetic surgery is more authentic than makeup since it doesn't need as routine maintenance? ;) I do need to paint my house, though... wanna grab a brush and get to work? I get out at 2. But again, this is coming from a woman who does not wear makeup beyond the occasional lip gloss. The only routine maintenance I do on a daily basis is wash and get dressed. I do have to do these daily though... maybe going nude and stinky is the way to go, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 04:27 PM
–

Is painting your house lying about what your house looks like? Is wearing undies lying about your penis?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 03:47 PM
–

I have great news. There are women like me out there! I don't wear makeup or shave or use product in my hair. WYSIWYG because I'd rather spend the time and efforts most people spend on makeup on lesson planning or gardening. Most people are not attracted to women who reject the beauty industry, which is fine by me. I'd rather repel the wrong guys and attract the right ones through authenticity rather than attract people who do not like who I actually am.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 03:45 PM
–

Who would've thought that playing games and faking it in relationships would lead to negative outcomes for everyone? I am so shocked and appalled. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, I fear.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 03:43 PM
3

Right. It kind of seems that femininity is not something to respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 07:57 PM
4

Yes. Many men do not respect women but are attracted to them. Women can tell when a man does not respect them and those of us with adequate self worth know to stay away.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 06:43 PM
10

Humans recognize and create patterns. When our patterns are dysfunctional, we repeat that dysfunction. But the generational hurting CAN stop if you're willing to do some really hard inner work.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 04:56 PM
5

I love men who read and do well in school. I am an odd duck, though, so I will admit my tastes aren't aligned with pop culture. My bookishness has turned guys off and I've been turned off by guys who think books are lame. My partner is a lawyer and his mind is what attracts me before all else. Men can also perform femininity in really sexy ways. Prince was girly, so was Freddie Mercury. I know boys who get picked on for being "zesty" who have loving partners. As my homeboy Aristotle always said,…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 01:19 PM
0

Remote meeting and learning isn't as effective as face-to-face meeting and instruction. Remote learning is mostly just clicking through computer work. It's not learning. Students learn by writing, talking, and doing. Not by clicking.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 01:15 PM
9

Ah, so it's a gender roles in-group, out-group thing. Manhood is the absence of femininity and Womanhood is the absence of masculinity, is that kind of how you see gender? Men have to be big and strong and dominate women because many women like being dominated and benefit morally from not having to make the hard choices and do the dirty work that men do. Is that more in the right wheelhouse? Men have to go to war and kill because women won't? Is our femininity what happens when the men take resp…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 12:59 PM
1

Vygotsky and the zone of proximal development would beg to differ! Unless all knowledge you’ve acquired has been through your direct experience and you’ve never read a book or interacted with another human, you are a social learner, like it or not. Babies don’t learn how to walk or talk out of thin air.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 12:49 PM
12

How do you think women feel when we hear that we’re supposed to be weak and that men despise everything about our gender presentation?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 12:48 PM
13

I think it's so odd that men think the most degrading thing to be is feminine. And then wonder why women flee femininity to take on "masculine" tasks such as reading or having a job.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 12:37 PM
-1

disciplinary power is what makes most people do things. When nobody is walking around the room surveilling you, it's a lot harder to be motivated to avoid failure. Also, learning is a social process and when we cut the social part out of learning, social learners suffer.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 12:36 PM
17

If men won't read because women read, that's a them problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 12:09 PM
1

Integrity is incredibly hard to come by these days, generally speaking.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 09:10 PM
–

I wonder if having to raise children and manage a household has something to do with this! Perhaps domestic work is valuable and women should be subsidized to stay home if we want them to be at home.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 05:17 PM
11

Real. I already have everything I could want or need. Abundance mindset > scarcity mindset!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 03:32 PM
2

I agree with you. Unfortunately there are many desperate people who get into relationships with people they don’t actually like or are attracted to because they fear they cannot attain what they like or are attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 12:57 PM
5

Virtue is a golden mean. It’s best to get someone who’s fairly attractive and fairly strong of character. I get that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 12:50 PM
8

Ah, so if a woman is attractive and bitchy that’s better than ugly and nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 12:20 PM
10

Men are constantly on here saying they’d rather have a nice broke girl instead of a mean boss babe!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 10:18 AM
1

Some people simply haven’t mastered the mind-body connection yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 08:02 PM
1

My dad always gets really grumpy and withdrawn around his birthday and his dad’s death anniversary. It wasn’t until I figured that out and pointed it out to him that he realized it. He’s wrestling with his mortality twice a year and not even aware of it! Likewise, have you ever been really grumpy until you ate? It’s similar. Sometimes our bodies know our feelings before our brains do.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 07:22 PM
2

Yeah, sometimes the feelings and the facts get disconnected. Especially when folks are in their feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 06:19 PM
1

It’s easy to lose track of time when you’re focusing on other things. There is a lot of info for us ladies to stay on top of- our cycles, meals, appointments, deadlines, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 03:58 PM
9

I’m pretty calm as I type this. Making a salad right now and preparing to have folks over for dinner. Men who shoot up schools and movie theaters do not have control over their emotions. They are acting hysterically and irrationally. Men of this sort are fairly common, too. It’s just a fact that emotionally disturbed men and women both exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 08:37 PM
9

Have you ever dealt with a guy who was really pissed off? I would argue many men are very emotional as well, but that the primary socially acceptable means of emotional expression for men is through anger and violence, unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 08:13 PM
2

I was lucky that my dad took a huge interest in helping my education. He drilled me on mental math constantly and tagging along with him while he worked as a mechanic gave me practical applications. I enjoy German. I took it in high school and I’ve always had an academic interest in genocide, authoritarianism, and power writ large. I found German classes in college to be a space where I could engage in discussions about these things while also enjoying other aspects of the language and culture. …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 11:26 PM
2

I think both our stories a common theme of male sexuality being a distraction to education, unfortunately. If that’s the case, perhaps the world’s current political discussion of gender segregation may start to lean even farther. Maybe, at least in terms of gender, we may see a return to separate education. I don’t necessarily doubt that we may turn to separate educations based on other categories, either. My degrees are in human development, German, and education. I’d like to go back and take s…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 10:47 PM
1

First in my family to graduate high school. Got a master’s degree and now I teach.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 09:01 PM
1

He did regularly do shit like that. Pick his nose and play with it, pick the lint between his toes and eat it, etc. once he even got his arm stuck in a table! I was always sat with him because I was pretty tolerant compared to… other public school kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 09:27 AM
0

Except that nobody tells you the truth when you’re above a certain attractiveness threshold. I’d rather hear the truth than what people think I want to hear.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 08:14 PM
1

The problem is that when boys have no men to look up to, they have no example to follow. They look to popular media instead... which doesn't pose healthy exemplars of how to be a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 03:03 PM
1

Statistically speaking, the only teaching discipline that is majority male is history. Your personal experience may differ, but the data aggregated shows this. Check out remedialherstory.com - they have the data on it. More men need to go into teaching and mentoring boys if they care about changing the world for men and boys. It all starts in childhood. Leaving child rearing and education entirely to women is voluntarily giving up significant power.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 12:47 PM
1

I feel pretty well-versed in men. I spend more of my time with men than I do with other women. I’m the only woman in my household and since I was raised by a bunch of guys, I even had some gender/sexuality confusion because I didn’t know how to be a woman for a bit. lol. Men invented the Socratic method of education. Men invented philosophy. Why don’t boys do well in history class despite men being the majority of the historical record and men being the majority of history teachers?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 12:23 PM
1

I listen to the boys and men who express themselves to me- it’s a privilege to be a safe person for them. But I’m not so sure men listen to one another. They call each other fags for being sad and sweep one another’s mental issues under the rug until someone or something cracks. You are right that I’m a rural girlie with a rural framing. And I’m glad I was raised with men who counter this narrative- my grandpa died at 54 of a heart attack at work and so my dad and uncles turned their shit around…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:20 AM
2

And the bigotry of low expectations. We tend to expect boys to do poorly in school and to behave poorly as well, so they do. If we held boys and girls alike to high standards, we’d see better results. The boys in my classes are SMART. And I hold them to a high standard because I know they’re smart enough to reach that standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:14 AM
4

Being able to read or recognize historical patterns or understand biology and do math is pretty useful I would argue. So is the ability to socialize in a large group of people who may be different from you. This is what public school teaches.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:12 AM
1

Men aren’t less susceptible to peer pressure. If they were, they’d self-express and talk about their feelings more. Modern American masculinity is a death cult where we expect men to shut up, suppress their feelings, and die of a heart attack at work. Rising above that peer pressure would mean leading a happy, healthy life.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:11 AM
2

When I was in 7th grade advanced math a kid sitting next to me jerked off and then wiped his cum all over my textbook. I was significantly grossed out but it didn’t stop me from getting an A.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:09 AM
1

Where were the men who are supposed to be raising kids? Where are the male teachers and mentors and big brothers? We have a vacuum of male leadership. This is the core of the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 09:45 AM
2

Yes they are!! Food companies were bought by big tobacco in the 90s and use the same tactics. Our needs becoming profit driven has ruined us.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 12:42 PM
3

Women are allowed to stray from their gender roles, but there’s still a violent arm of society enforcing masculinity. A girl dressing in boys clothes is cute. A boy dressing in girls clothes is seen as abuse. Boys and men get called gay and have their masculinity called into question for all sorts of outlandish things… it’s sad. We need to allow boys and men to grow into who they are, not who we expect them to be. Men can be soft and good with kids and be pretty and knit and still be men. Just a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 04:23 PM
2

I boss around teenagers for a living. I love calling the shots and telling people what to do! If women weren’t leaders, we wouldn’t trust our kids with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 04:16 PM
1

Even men deserve to be someone’s babygirl now and again
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 04:15 PM
–

I see you as human and as someone worthy of empathy! And I hope you have a great day.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 10:29 AM
–

A wild thing to say to someone!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 10:26 AM
1

Resourcefulness and kindness are what I look for. We don’t have to make all the money in the world if we’re scrappy and can make things work. :-) Additionally, I think a lot of girls and women know obesity is a problem… it’s why we’re constantly bombarded with ads for GLP-1s and diet programs and a lot of us have eating disorders at one point or another.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 12:17 PM
1

That’s kind of all of human society in a nutshell. We occupy roles in one another’s lives in order to build community and survive.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 09:54 AM
16

The term incel was coined as a self-description for a woman!!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 12:37 AM
2

No, we invest our time, effort, and affection in relationships. It’s why it’s so devastating when someone leaves or dies. Because we’re emotionally invested in them!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 10:18 AM
2

I agree. Which is why I’m a lady who likes to treat my man like a babygirl. He deserves to be taken out on a date now and again. I like buying him jewelry, cooking nutritious meals for him, helping him get organized, and sometimes even being the big spoon. Affection and care shouldn’t flow one way in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 10:16 AM
1

Why? In a committed relationship, we both invest in one another. I invest like 75% of my free time in my household and my man. Because I care about the longevity of our relationship!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 10:15 AM
2

Yes! Men and women alike have all sorts of “shit tests” because they don’t want to actively communicate their wants and needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 09:42 AM
3

Are you someone who wouldn’t mind living in a cardboard box as long as you’re with the person you love? My bf is like that. Luckily I have higher standards so we’re in the house we bought together ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 09:41 AM
2

I pursued my boyfriend and asked him out but I do require we go on a date night once every 2 weeks just to take time together and reconnect, what with our busy schedules. I have been conditioned to like going out to dinner and usually shopping afterwards from daddy-daughter dates with my dad. I still go on dad dates too!!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 09:38 AM
4

The right relationship is 2 people who simp for one another. I write my boyfriend love letters and cook food for him. He gets me flowers and will follow me into any endeavor or project I undertake. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 09:35 AM
1

There are ways to invest in a woman or a relationship that are non monetary!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 09:33 AM
5

I get that. It’s totally valid to yearn for love and romance with a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 08:10 PM
11

For a lot of people, their one true love is who they’re closest to emotionally. There are other forms of emotional connection, too. For me, I have a close bond with my partner, but I also have 3 or so best friends and my sister and my dad. I’ve had some really long emotional talks and have deep bonds with all of them. Your experiences may differ, and that’s okay. We’re both valid in our own lives experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 06:57 PM
30

Yes, but a romantic connection cannot be your only source of emotional comfort. It’s exhausting to be someone’s everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 06:51 PM
5

He likes helping me out because I’m an ambitious little freak who likes to do 8492025 volunteer things as well as renovate a house lol But also to be cringe is to be totally free
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 11:04 AM
4

I do have huge ass “honey do” lists for him though. And my dad lives with us because I promised to take care of him. So life isn’t perfect, but it’s good!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 10:50 AM
8

Yes… but we will also see what a man can be and hold him to high standards in that regard. Today is my first anniversary with my bf. I asked him out but I’ve also helped him get into a job he likes more where he has more advancement opportunities and we bought a house a week ago. Good women help build great men :)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 09:47 AM
1

Right. There are no strict rules anymore, so we all get to write our own rule book- it should be liberating.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 06:21 PM
1

I love the politics here. I wish yall would be transparent and say that you want policies that lead to more maternal, infant, and child mortality. It would be easier to have this discussion if we were all more transparent about wanting more kids to die. LDCs have higher birth rates because there is no compulsory schooling and kids provide labor and not all kids make it to adulthood. We need to tell parents to have 8 kids because about 5 will make it to adulthood.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 06:18 PM
–

my dad and boyfriend have both faced false allegations. I stand behind them because I trust who they are as men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 04:55 PM
4

Virtue is a golden mean. We can’t fix people and we must take people as they are. ☺️
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 07:56 PM
1

I took a whole class in college about the pursuit of betterment!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 06:02 PM
0

yeah, my first date with my boyfriend was dinner and drinks at a nice place. But I would've liked him if our first date was just walking through the woods.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 03:04 PM
1

Yes, but you don’t have to figure that out right off by making the first date a paid experience. First dates are for figuring out if you like the person enough for a second date so there’s no need to invest heavily in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 09:35 AM
4

Yes!! My favorite date is a long walk and a long talk. Companionship is the goal, not the acquisition of material goods.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 01:42 AM
7

Yep. Everyone thinks they’re the hero of their story.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 01:39 AM
1

What were your values? :)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 07:09 PM
2

I facilitate group activities for a living :)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:00 PM
1

Oh, it is? Interesting! All I know is I like living out in the woods. I like the rural New England work ethic. I live in a place that reflects my values and it made finding a partner a whole lot easier. It’s why I don’t insult people who feel the need to move somewhere that matches their own values.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 04:05 PM
3

I don't believe in god and i believe in the inherent value of all people
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 01:45 PM
1

Same with men. Most human beings are only able to connect with 500 people max! Not everyone is going to be your friend or your lover, and the good people are indeed rare to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 12:40 PM
6

Men and women need to get their values in order. I recommend doing a values sort activity if you don't know what you prioritize in your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 12:35 PM
0

It's true that in our pop culture the majority of people have no values and are vapid. It's why I live in a rural area and hang out with people who have their values in order. I <3 hardworking people who love their families!!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 12:33 PM
–

Some of us love the fourteenth amendment and our dads!!! Simultaneously!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 12:46 AM
1

Worst part is, so few men actually benefit from patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 01:19 AM
2

Just like how if a woman has really nice measurements and well kept hair, she can be as crazy or terrible as she'd like and still land fellas. It's a sad world out there, where people prioritize looks over character.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 05:31 PM
3

Everyone deserves a space to fellowship and feel close to others. Men have lost a lot of those spaces in particular.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 01:22 AM
2

Bring back monasteries and fraternal orders and the Freemasons and shit!!! Brotherhood is so important!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 12:25 AM
2

Holding people to high expectations shows them respect. If I, as a teacher, expected all my students to be little shits, they would meet my expectation. However, I expect them to be respectful at all times. If they do not meet that expectation they cannot be in my room!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 08:26 PM
2

Ignorance is bliss because knowledge is traumatic. As I get older I learn that hanging out in person is way simpler and better than facebooking or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 08:09 PM
4

Absolutely. While knowing about hatred is useful, entirely focusing on it consumes us. We need more love in this world!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 12:47 PM
7

I have no illusions about women. Our whole economy is hinged on the idea of rational actors working in their own self-interest. Everyone does that. Men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 10:54 PM
128

The internet made it so we can all see tons of conversations about people like us that would usually happen behind closed doors where we’d never hear it. It’s crazy making to take it all in! Regardless of who you are - children, pets, women, men- there’s someone talking mad shit about you online. The truth of the matter is that technology connected humans without altering the human condition. Tech companies told us their software would change humanity, but all it does is speed us up in our abili…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 10:52 PM
2

Yep. There are certainly more fun gross sex acts to bring up as well. Figging and sounding and cake smashing galore!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 10:47 PM
2

Back in my day, my dad would beat my ass for talking like that in front of polite company. Boys will be goofy but they must know when it’s appropriate.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 10:40 PM
2

Ugh. Ninth grader boys loved yelling “bumpkin” in the hall this fall. I pulled up the definition and explained to them how vile it is to scream about toilet blowjobs while I’m teaching.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 10:00 PM
1

I did- I’m saying I have my own menses in control and thus don’t need anyone tracking me. Appealing to my own sovereignty as an individual :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 07:44 PM
1

I think it’s gross when women use men for their money. If you want money, get a fuckin job, lady!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 07:37 PM
–

Men who can swing dance and write love notes are the sexiest, in my humble opinion!!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 07:36 PM
–

I love arguing with other women. Especially my mom and my sister. When my sister and I were kids, we beat the shit out of each other like we were brothers or something. Now we only occasionally fight physically for fun, but we argue ALL THE TIME. I still love her!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 07:34 PM
1

I know, they’re tracking it for their own sake. It’s like if I started tracking everything that came out of my boyfriend’s penis to determine his mood.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 07:31 PM
2

I dunno, most of the serotonin in our body is actually in our gut. So much of our emotional and mental wellbeing stems from what we eat and how we digest it!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 04:26 PM
4

I guess I’ll start asking him to track his BMs. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 04:25 PM
–

I love emotionally comforting my partner. I love being able to greet him at the door with a big long hug every day when he comes home from work!!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 04:24 PM
–

Sex and emotional comfort aren’t small things to be fair
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:07 PM
0

It’s usually leading up to payday if they’re poor money managers ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:04 PM
10

In that case I’m gonna start recording my boyfriend’s bowel movements. Maybe he’s upset because he’s constipated!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:04 PM
3

I know my own cycle well enough to know what weeks I’m more apt to be social and what weeks I’m gonna hate myself and everyone. I don’t need anyone else tracking my cycle for me. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:03 PM
1

If men don’t have a predilection toward compliance and obedience, why aren’t militias entirely female staffed? Wouldn’t they be easier to train since men are too defiant to be part of a team?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 10:01 AM
0

I’m glad to hear this. The main conversation we tend to have in the US about fathers is about their absence.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 09:31 AM
10

You were asking for it!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 08:39 PM
5

Yeah, a lot of women dumped my single dad when I was a kid because they didn’t want to play second fiddle to my sister and I.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 08:26 PM
3

Very few men in general want to do the work of raising children, which is why western society is so fucked up. Grateful to have a dad who is consistent and loves me, because so few men and women have that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 08:25 PM
4

You never have to worry about me showing up fully shaved to anything!!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 09:44 AM
1

Marriage is nice if you find the right person to do it with. It’s not about desperation or bondage or anything- it’s about joining two people into one legal entity.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 09:34 AM
1

The ideal relationship is two people who are horrifically down bad for one another!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 01:20 AM
1

I don’t think it’s that insane to want the person you make a baby with to stick around and help you raise said kid. Many women are of the same mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 01:19 AM
1

We get on our knees for other activities that can be interpreted as simp behavior. ;-)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 01:17 AM
1

Choice paralysis is a very real thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 01:13 AM
5

Some people have absolutely repellent, disordered personalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 11:52 PM
8

Just like how what men think women like and what women actually like are two worlds apart. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 11:49 PM
3

This is why I don’t wear makeup or shave. All I do to maintain my looks is dress modestly, eat well, wash my ass and moisturize, and work out. WYSIWYG.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 11:36 PM
12

Men, you can wear makeup, too. There’s nothing stopping you from some eyeliner and mascara! Alternatively, beards are male face contouring.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 11:35 PM
1

It’s pretty natural for me to dress modestly and not change my body, too. I’m not blaming anyone for the way I look, I’m just owning it and not modifying my body to appeal to attention I don’t want (I’m taken!)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 10:21 PM
2

Creating a fantasy partner in our head is fun when we’re single, but the best way to date is to keep an open mind and to lead with your values. Shared values are the best indicator of a successful relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 05:38 PM
2

Common values > common interests. My bf plays magic, I write. He plays dnd, I crochet. At the end of the day, though, we both value teamwork and making our shared home a welcoming place.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:57 PM
1

Trans women also tend to get horny on E. Being affirmed in who you are is a turn on!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:55 PM
1

See, this is why I don’t shave my legs or wear anything revealing. I don’t want anyone to think I’m vain, centering anyone’s gaze, or trying to attract anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:53 PM
2

But it certainly could be. Tons of people out there don’t have their values in order and will ditch what’s good for them in exchange for what’s exciting.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:43 PM
5

I don’t think anyone knows who or what they’re looking for until they find it. Until I found my forever man, I wasn’t sure if dating or love was even something that would ever be in the cards for me. Now I wanna have this guy’s babies. Shit’s weird!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:42 PM
1

OF is a pyramid scheme tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:38 PM
1

Desperation and fear unfortunately drive our markets almost entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:37 PM
–

I would argue a bulk of our relationship issues stem from industrialization and consumer culture. We can always buy new stuff and throw the old away; repairs are seen as unnecessary or stupid. The same goes for relationships in our modern era- people and relationships are commodities we dispose of the moment they show any sign of stress. Once we return to a slower, sustainable economy based around repair and resourcefulness, we’ll find the most of our societal perfectionism and impatience will d…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 01:02 PM
2

I’m just out here reading the newspaper while doing leg presses, I swear!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 07:09 PM
11

I work with teenagers and hear about their romantic mishaps all the time. It can be really hard to be direct when you’re first learning how to communicate in romantic/sexual situations. People fuck up and hurt each other and it’s awful. But practice makes better. The more we communicate the better we get at it, or at least that’s the hope.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 01:57 AM
19

God, I’m so glad I live in a high trust community where I can converse with strangers normally.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 01:53 AM
7

There are plenty of male-only spaces. You ever crack a cold one with the boys and shoot the breeze while hanging over the edge of a truck bed? Ever go out for boys night? Spend time working on a racecar?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 08:04 PM
9

Some people like ambition.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:56 PM
3

We also go around constantly telling everyone that boys mature more slowly than girls, so perhaps we're arresting male development by not holding them to higher expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:05 PM
1

Ah, so you take on whatever position the commenter doesn’t currently occupy. If I said the sky was blue, you would argue it’s green.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:15 PM
5

In another thread, you’re arguing that single mothers need to choose better if they want to be respected. But here you’re saying there is no such thing as a choice. Which one is true?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:12 PM
1

In another thread, you said there’s no such thing as choices or decisions. Just determinism. Which one is it?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:10 PM
3

There is a difference between cessation of a behavior and concealing of a behavior. We want cessation, not concealment.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 12:20 PM
3

Hiding problematic behavior doesn’t fix the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 09:49 AM
2

It’s about finding the right balance between freedom and security.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 09:47 AM
1

Opportunities get dropped at my feet because I have displayed competence through my actions :)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 04:08 PM
2

Even when opportunities are dropped at my feet I have to do something to maintain them!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 12:58 PM
-1

Nothing comes to you naturally. If you want something you’re probably going to have to take actions toward having it. That is fairly universal regardless of goal or gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 12:53 PM
1

I’ve confessed my love to so many people just to be turned down. Luckily it didn’t stop me from pursuing my shmoopy, who I asked out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 04:07 PM
13

I understand meeting someone and wishing you’d known them sooner. I wish I hadn’t had to spend time engaging in incompatible courtships before I met my current partner. But I can’t turn back the clock and I can’t blame myself for looking for love.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 06:39 PM
1

I need his love and encouragement. The validation of a loving man is one of the greatest gifts for anyone to experience. God is a loving father for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 12:04 AM
5

we need men and crave men’s genuine respect and love. We don’t like being made to depend on men entirely to have our needs met. I understand women’s rights have been suppressed to maintain the order of things across history and cultures because men have had the same fears you have for eons. The problem is, love and domination don’t mingle well. But the more we ladies say that we want to live in a genuine loving world, the more some guys turn to domination and violence because they think that’s w…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 08:10 PM
–

Cheating is better until the kids or your spouse or your community finds out.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:47 PM
–

Nobody forced you to marry a woman. If you don’t want to get married or don’t like the terms of a marriage, don’t get married. Simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:46 PM
–

And what about women in dead bedrooms?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:43 PM
10

<image> Reminds me of this tweet.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 08:05 PM
1

I’m from New Hampshire so I’m a boomer on the inside regardless of age!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 01:21 AM
2

Have you found that living in defiance of the gender norms has had a significant effect on your quality of life? Are you still able to find fulfillment and happiness, whatever that may mean for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 01:20 AM
1

I definitely believe striking balance is important in a partnership. My partner is much keener on rules and procedure than I am- which is good for me. I’m more spontaneous, which he enjoys. I’m the long term planner, he can help me take the steps to get to that vision. I make sure our cars are running and dinner is cooked. He makes sure groceries are in the fridge. So much of a partnership is learning how to build a team based off of each persons unique talents and experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 01:00 AM
1

Living a life based on making difficult choices while maintaining your morals is hard. Living with yourself for making choices you find morally reprehensible is hard. Choose your hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 12:54 AM
1

So in your view, your attractions/fetishes are part of what is keeping the balance out of whack? Because cucks who are into assertive women also subvert the norm of a man’s essential nature. Men are supposed to be, by your view of gender, unwaveringly confident and possessive of their women. You are not wrong to be a cuck- let your freak flag fly, brother- but don’t act like you’re acting within socially acceptable bounds of masculinity. You’re just as transgressive as me. Do you think gender is…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 12:52 AM
1

Is this close to your view of the world? <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 12:40 AM
3

Ah, so you’re a gender essentialist who thinks that men and women fulfill complementary and opposing roles. Thus any time a man or woman goes outside of the gender roles you’ve ascribed to them, it’s destroying the balance and thus their ability to attract the opposite sex. Passivity is inviting? How does someone who asks for nothing inspire you to do anything? How does someone who takes no action to make things happen attract men? I say this as a woman who looks very trad from appearances- I we…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 12:34 AM
2

It’s easier to gain power and fame by doing the wrong thing than by doing the right thing. Being a moral upstanding character is always the harder choice. It’s why it’s far more admirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 12:24 AM
2

I’m not the first person to have these ideas! <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 12:23 AM
5

Passivity is bad in women. Why would you want to share a life and have children with someone who cannot speak up for her own needs? Would you trust someone who refuses to act like an adult and assert themselves with your children? That would make for spoiled, bratty children who stomp all over their mother. My children will not wait until their father gets home to behave. I am putting them in their place myself. I’d rather not be treated like a traditional woman. My great grandmother stayed home…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 12:20 AM
6

Nice and kind are different. Nice is what you’re describing here- people-pleasing passivity is unattractive, for both men and women. Assertiveness is attractive. Kindness is assertive- looking out for people and their best interests while speaking up for your own needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 09:34 PM
2

A lot of this came around the same time as the black civil rights movement in the United States. The women’s rights movement and the black civil rights movements in the US have been intertwined since the beginning of the abolition movement. By reinstating separate but equal for the sexes, there will certainly be a call by some for a reversal on brown v board. Humans are pattern seeking creatures and like to sort each other into neat little boxes, at the cost of their own experience. The being sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 04:08 PM
1

Many colleges had to go coed as well. There are fewer than 5 male exclusive colleges in the US now. The number of women’s only schools is on the decline as well, but there are still more of them. The fight against male only spaces and duties goes far beyond the 1920s. Any time someone is excluded from a benefit, it makes sense that they will fight against their exclusion. People like autonomy! That being said, I do understand that other groups taking a share from dominant culture can be uncomfor…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 03:46 PM
2

Desire is the root of all suffering.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 02:05 PM
6

Surely more motivates men than just their sex drive. Sex drives are finicky and irrational and I’d like to think that some men are rational beings. Otherwise, the economy is based on a lie. Well… wait.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 02:04 PM
6

Which men’s spaces in particular have been colonized? If you mean things like colleges and workplaces now allowing women, yes, of course. But sports teams and some fraternal orders still have primarily male spaces. As do garages and race tracks.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 02:00 PM
4

Compatibility doesn’t exist?! the best way to date is with your values at the forefront. Looks fade, values last.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 09:45 PM
3

value-based dating is the only way to build relationships. If you find someone super sexy and have different values, it’s not gonna work out.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 04:25 PM
–

I feel so powerful. Just by chillin at home crocheting n shit I make men go full on bonkerz. Wish I could use that power for good tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 01:22 AM
2

Patience and compassion are everything to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 01:30 AM
1

I don’t even have a key to my apartment. Haven’t locked it in the 10 years I’ve lived here. I’ve only locked my college apartments because they were in cities. There’s nothing worth stealing in my house and also I have a bunch of guns and live with two men. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 08:27 PM
1

I already have a nice collection of guns. It’s why I don’t need to lock my door. But I’m not gonna use them unless someone threatens my life or liberty. Guns are cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 08:19 PM
0

If being equal isn’t in the cards for me I’m getting my conceal carry permit lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 08:15 PM
1

Absolutely. How are you practicing intentionality?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 05:44 PM
1

You’re welcome to center women in your life or to choose to center something else. I’m not your boss :) But I do love this little diagram that I use often: <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 10:04 PM
6

Obsessing over something you lack will drive you crazy. For example, I’m currently buying a house. If I spent 24/7 ranting about how terrible the market is and how buying a home is next to impossible despite the 50k in my bank account accruing interest, I would go nuts because I’m focusing on things that are outside of my control.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 07:22 PM
5

When I decentered men from my life I just spent a lot of time with my friends and learning how to knit and ride bikes. I did things that I enjoyed because I enjoy them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 07:20 PM
2

I don’t believe anyone’s just gonna up and rape me. All I’m saying is that I can defend myself if anyone tries to get me or anything. I think men and boys can be wonderful. I live with my dad and my boyfriend and they’re basically my world. 🥲
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 11:47 PM
3

I say worth it as a gun-owning woman. Nobody’s fucking with me!!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 10:05 PM
3

More women gotta get guns and I’m not even kidding.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 10:00 PM
4

Yes, all people should be able to determine if a pregnancy is wanted or not and be able to take steps to either terminate or carry to term. My dad always told me he brought me into the world and he can take me out. Infanticide is always an option, albeit not usually legal anymore. The easier thing to do is to simply leave and not come back. Many men do this already!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 08:14 PM
4

Men may not care about abortion or birth control but they certainly benefit from it. If birth control became illegal tomorrow I know some men would have world-class crash outs because they can’t cum where they want anymore. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 08:07 PM
3

Us ladies’ birth control options certainly don’t help our fertility or sex drive in the long run, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 08:06 PM
5

I believe that men should be able to control where they ejaculate for sure. Men should not be coerced reproductively.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 08:05 PM
0

I would love to be an Albanian sworn virgin tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 12:16 PM
9

Guys used to join monasteries or become priests or eunuchs.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 10:02 AM
1

For me, I want my partner to be able to hold discussions with me. I want to talk about current affairs, history, cybernetics, local politics, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 10:00 AM
4

So it’s kind of like how you tell the sample guy at Costco you’re gonna go buy 7 packs of the sample you got, when in fact you only ate it because it was free?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 12:29 AM
7

I don’t super comprehend your question, but I do know that I can’t control how others receive me all that much. Yeah, i can control my behavior and reactions, but other peoples behavior and reactions is beyond my control.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 07:44 PM
3

Kind of like how women evolved permanent breast tissue and big booties because of male mate choice :)
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 05:57 PM
5

Been here for a while. :) Yes, there are often things that are beyond my control, but I can carve out room for me to have an internal locus of control so I don't go insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 05:46 PM
3

Yes, we all contribute to society so I'm going to respect both men and women. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 05:45 PM
7

Yes, but I don’t need people who mistreat me and that’s awesome. I can choose to walk away from situations that are harmful to me!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:27 PM
6

It’s such a gift to not have to be under anyone’s thumb unless I choose to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:19 PM
5

We all need one another as humans, but we don’t all need to breed. Shoot, we don’t all even need to be friends. All we owe one another is respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:15 PM
6

Would you like to be kept at home where it’s safer?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:12 PM
7

Why did men start the wars? They couldn’t use diplomacy correctly.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:11 PM
6

Men and women can come together in ways other than forcing women to need men to do anything in society. Wouldn’t you rather have someone who wants you than somebody who needs you and uses you?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:11 PM
14

Yeah I asked to not be taken seriously as a woman, I specifically requested that I only be seen as breeding stock.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:10 PM
–

Cheers to the great men out there!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 07:51 PM
–

Individual people defying norms is the only way norms change.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 06:19 PM
–

My dad is really good at mentoring boys and men who aren’t his ilk. He’s the last of a dying breed- men who are good for the sake of being good rather than for the sake of recognition. He checks in on his elders and looks out for younger guys. He’s a diesel mechanic and in his last years of work he’s teaching other guys how to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 06:19 PM
–

I can’t speak on fatherlessness as a boy but I can speak on female motherlessness. My father raised me on his own. I had to learn how to be a woman from scratch. I found other female role models and clung to them. I’m so grateful for teachers and mentors who helped me to be the woman I am today, and my father for supporting me as much as he can. However, many men are not interested in mentoring young boys and men the way women mentored me when I was a kiddo. So many men decry having to deal with…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 04:20 PM
1

The best thing we all can do is care deeply and genuinely about children. Talk to kids like they're people. Ask about their plans. Encourage their dreams. Volunteer with youth. So many people HATE kids or otherwise disregard them. Family function > family form, but the more caring adults a kid can go to when they're struggling, the better they'll grow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:17 PM
15

Right. If you want a church lady, go to church and start looking. Otherwise, know that you can't change anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:12 PM
16

People who respect themselves know the best thing to do when you're not compatible is to walk away.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:11 PM
17

Right. I would simply find someone who likes me for me and doesn't agonize over the thought of me having had relationships with other people. I'm not mad at my boyfriend for having had a girlfriend in the past, and he's not mad at me for having had a boyfriend in the past. We found each other at the right time and clicked and that's all that matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:06 PM
–

We need to push more men to be teachers and social workers. Boys need male role models.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 12:28 PM
–

Fair. I don’t really conform to modern beauty standards but I know people who do for that reason. I luckily am wife material despite my hairy legs and love of fiber arts and politics
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 11:53 PM
–

So, men are choosing high-paying jobs mostly to appeal to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 10:03 PM
4

I went to college because I enjoy knowledge. I’m the first person in my family to graduate from high school and my grandfather was illiterate! I wanted to seize the opportunities that those who came before me lacked. I paid 15k total for a bachelors and masters degree from top public universities in the south. I now work as a public school teacher in my hometown. Yes, I do make less than my parents who have GEDs but the work I do guarantees that I can retire (yay state pensions!). My parents are…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 07:45 PM
–

Yes. Some people do not take no for an answer. It’s gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 07:31 PM
7

The purpose of an education isn't just to make money. Anyone who sees a degree solely as job training is not someone I want to spend my life with.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 12:49 PM
3

Im really good at stirring the pot and also keeping my cool ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:26 PM
2

Have you tried to date men?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 10:05 AM
5

I’ve let people down gently and directly and had them flood me with 748402 reasons why I was wrong and I should give them another chance. Not everyone takes rejection well.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 09:44 AM
28

I went to therapy because I wanted to kill myself real bad when I was a kid and a teen. Now I know how to express my feelings, cope with stress, and don’t want to kill myself. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 11:41 PM
1

Right. You can never be too careful because people mistake teens for adults and adults for teens often. I’m 27 and sometimes I get mistaken for one of my students at work. I used to get called ma’am when I was like 13. People went from thinking my dad was my grandpa to thinking he’s my husband. Age and aging is weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 09:46 PM
0

I have different experiences from the majority of humanity, perhaps. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I can’t speak to universal experiences, I can only speak to Becca’s experiences because that’s who I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 08:30 PM
2

Have you dated a man to be able to see the other side of things? I also am sorry to hear that you’ve had negative experiences with poor communicators in dating. I will always tell you (or anyone) what’s wrong because I’m direct and hate playing guessing games. My mother is an “it’s FINE” kind of lady, but my dad is a “you should already know what’s wrong” kind of guy. I could teach my dad how to communicate effectively but not my mother, I fear. In therapy, men tend to have to learn how to consi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 08:27 PM
2

Men and women both use reason to arrive at decisions, it’s just that men and women tend to use different pieces of information. For example, my boyfriend likes buying clothes. He buys them because they look good and also checks prices. I check price, material, construction and THEN I check to see if they look good.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 07:57 PM
5

Nah, I’d say it’s about 50/50 for both sexes. I know so many men who will bottle up how they’re really doing and tell everyone they’re fine until they explode into fits of rage. Same with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 07:53 PM
1

When I was 18 the guys I dated checked my ID to make sure I was 18. I still get checked on my age- people usually think I’m either younger or older than I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 07:53 PM
2

Right. There’s a loud misbehaved entitled minority of any group, while the rest of us humans are fairly reasonable people who just want love and respect. 💗
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 07:52 PM
1

If men adapted and molded to attract women, they'd eat vegetables, read books, and clean their damn fingernails.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 12:31 PM
1

I'm mechanically inclined, but it's because my daddy is a mechanic and he raised me. I clash with a lot of people because I go into solutions mode instead of empathetic listening mode 90% of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 12:31 PM
3

Burned Haystack Dating Method analyzes rhetorical patterns in dating profiles. I love it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 12:30 PM
6

I'm a woman who is vehemently against "I'm fine" or any other passive-aggressive form of communication. I am direct and assertive because that is the communication pattern that yields the best results. However, I also have done a lot of therapy and reading on politics and game theory to get to this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 12:29 PM
1

Men tell us what they like. They want small, skinny, submissive servitude. They want a vessel to create and nurture children and a trophy wife to show off. Men are very loud about their preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 12:23 PM
3

I've been trying to understand men for my entire life. Usually when I ask questions in forums, I get shot down by men who tell me that I'm wrong or that asking questions is rude.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 12:21 PM
1

The term “jailbait” exists because grown men believe teen girls look like grown women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 09:34 AM
1

He’s gotta be getting stronger over time as he struggles and toils.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 09:32 AM
3

I also tend to carry a notebook and a craft project wherever I go. I’m just a very prepared woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 11:07 PM
1

I bring a knife most places. They’re useful tools. check out r/edc
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 11:06 PM
4

I used to bring a knife to any first dates I went on. That being said, I’ve never had to use it and I’ve never felt afraid of a man. But my dad certainly taught me how to kick a man’s ass. But you are right- I love my hot bf and would do anything for him. Mostly I just do his laundry and make him coffee though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 07:37 PM
15

A walk in the park is a lovely free date!! Anyone opposed to such a date isn’t someone worth dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 10:05 AM
–

I agree that the gendered division of labor is absolutely negotiable. My partner does his fair share- I do have to ask him, but that’s just part of communicating in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 09:35 PM
–

Women already have to make the bulk of decisions in a relationship - from choosing our partners, to planning the wedding, to grocery shopping and maintaining the house and balancing the family checkbook. When you have to make a bunch of choices, decision fatigue sets in. I think that decision fatigue is what creates that “desert”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 07:12 PM
2

Hate and anger fuel engagement. Love and kindness fuels authentic connections. :(
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 04:09 PM
–

I've already done all that work on evaluating my beliefs versus society's beliefs when I was a teenager and young woman. I even have all the journals I wrote over the past 12 years to prove it! :) Other people not agreeing with me is not a threat to my existence because I'm used to being in the minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 06:34 PM
–

Addiction is incredibly common, as are other mental health issues. It's okay to not be okay! I'll probably be on antidepressants for the rest of my life and I don't think that is bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 06:17 PM
–

I'm on antidepressants because my mother was on antidepressants when she was pregnant with me. I come from a long line of mentally ill addicts. Effexor is much better for me than whiskey or heroin.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 06:11 PM
–

I do champion dating based on values rather than shallow attractions. I model a healthy, loving relationship to my high school students and explain that dating is more than "talking stages" and trying to keep up with the joneses. I encourage people to reflect deeply and get to know themselves and what they want before trying to get to know someone else. Nothing is worse than someone aimlessly dating with no clue of what they want. That's what leads to people being in FWB situationships. I defini…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 06:09 PM
–

Why are women so disempowered?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 04:47 PM
–

because the apps are a bad deal for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 04:47 PM
–

I'm a fairly normal woman who cares about abortion, but I also care about civil rights, inflation, crypto, cybernetics, warfare, and most realms of geopolitics. I don't need anyone to save me because I'm not in any danger. I'm not miserable either - I love my life, my job, my partner, and my family. I am also a feminist! I'm also not ugly or bitter - I wear long flowy skirts and have grown my hair out to defy any stereotyping I may encounter by appearing otherwise. I certainly don't feel trapped…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 04:36 PM
10

The truth of the matter is that a relationship/family is an economic unit. Even if you’re crazy in love you’ll need to discuss money pretty regularly.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 11:21 AM
1

Right, so a man can be a feminist but his actions need to align with the title.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:31 AM
1

Joan Trumpauer Mulholland was a white Black civil rights activist. Nobody really argues otherwise. Her title is claimed by her actions! <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 01:46 AM
1

You can advocate for groups you don’t belong to. I advocate for Black people even though I’m white, for men even though I’m a woman, for children even though I’m an adult, etc. Is it true that most of the work is likely on the individuals affected by an issue? Absolutely. However, that doesn’t completely preclude any form of allyship from ever forming.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 12:42 AM
1

We repeat the relationships we saw and experienced in our families of origin. A lot of people are mistreated as children and thus mistake abuse for love. It’s sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 10:02 PM
3

Autism or BPD for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 09:30 PM
4

If money is the primary indicator of virtue, I don’t care to be virtuous. Money is a hollow value. Values are things like community, loyalty, and family.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 09:30 PM
3

Some people are cool with attaching themselves to existing families; others want to start their own families. Others still want to be DINK. I can’t fault anyone for their preference. However, I hate the constant dumping on single mothers. For every single mother, there is a man with a story, too. And I say this as someone who was raised by a single dad because my mom was/is incapable of being a wife and mom. I don’t blame her, it’s just what it is!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 09:18 PM
3

Would you want to wait to consummate things with your wife until after the wedding?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 10:51 AM
4

Hobosexuals come in all shapes and sizes.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 10:37 AM
8

Can confirm a lot of ladies don’t date single dads. My poor dad got dumped so many times because my sister and I were hellions and ladies didn’t wanna have to put up with baby mama drama either.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 09:06 AM
1

Check out burned haystack dating method. Dating rhetoric is the way you use language to frame yourself and your life in your bio. For example, if a person’s whole profile is them complaining about how awful dating is or discussing what they DONT want from a relationship, I’m out. When I was on “the market” my profile contained my values and a list of things I like to do with/for a partner. Attraction is much more effective than repulsion.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 07:05 PM
1

Rhetoric is a far better way to attract someone than words, imho. When I was on the market, the rhetorical patterns in bios was the most compelling part of dating profiles for me. But I’m someone who also extensively researches anything I do or buy because I’m a big reader and researcher in general. Like, I’m not buying a product unless I KNOW I’m getting value from it. Same goes for a relationship!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 02:50 AM
1

Some of us explicitly state our values and what we want from a relationship in our bios. Reading is fundamental, babey!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 02:47 AM
1

Fair enough. So you tell women, “hey, sleeping with me will ruin your future chances of finding love” or what?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 01:05 AM
-1

I’m thinking of exploitation in terms of using up value and not regenerating value. By using up a woman’s purity, which many men believe is the primary basis of a woman’s value, you are using up (exploiting- the German for exploiting is “ausnutzen” or “using up” if literally translated”), you are actively worsening the dating market. I don’t think you’re a bad person nor do I mean to project any sort of oppressive connotation here, but it seems that by having sex without commitment you are using…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 12:57 AM
-3

So you would rather exploit a woman’s body than be in a relationship with her? Correct me if I’m wrong, and I’m not trying to be mean. What’s the appeal? Is it like a conqueror’s mindset? I planted my flag in it and took what was precious, now the hollowed out remains aren’t my problem? Hooking up with women is so similar to colonialism by this line of thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 12:38 AM
1

But you hook up with women, therefore you’re subtracting value from the general dating pool.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 12:11 AM
22

Kind of like how Nextdoor posts are rarely about nice conversations between neighbors. The good interactions are kept between participants; the bad experiences are put on blast.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 11:14 PM
6

Some people with low self-esteem accept terrible treatment because they think they deserve it. It’s a form of self-abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 11:13 PM
2

So you’re one of the guys who’s the “problem” in OP’s eyes. Do you think that hookups subtract from a woman’s value?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 11:11 PM
24

I dated guys who didn’t have other prospects and they would tell me I’m not funny or smart or pretty, too. You’d be surprised just how many men (and women) have been conditioned to break down their partners’ self-esteems in order to make them stay. Luckily any time someone insults me or my honor, I’m out. But not every person is that sure of themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 11:09 PM
–

I think we all need to start leading with our values rather than with greed. Living together through shared values is the #1 indicator of a successful relationship… in my humble opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 09:43 PM
–

They have no idea that you can find a man incredibly hot and sexy AND want to have his babies and build a life with him. Tragique.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 12:10 PM
–

I have high standards and I found a guy who cleared the bar. A guy who is smart and reads, has a career, has friends and a good relationship with his family, and most importantly… he loves me. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 12:07 PM
3

Same reason you care about women, I suppose. Human empathy?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 08:32 AM
1

I agree that some people definitely are ruled by their emotions too much. It’s why when I’m angry I just tell people I’m angry and then go lift weights or bike 10 miles or something. Productive coping is important. But like when my husband killed himself I was definitely eaten up by emotions for a long time. I broke down in tears at work. And I don’t think that was inappropriate, just what I needed to do to express my pain.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 12:26 AM
-1

How do you mean, act appropriately? What emotional responses do you see as inappropriate? Like throwing fits? Because absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 10:57 PM
-1

Crying in frustration is pretty normal. It’s okay to have big feelings as long as it doesn’t affect the way you treat people.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 10:35 PM
1

There’s time to think and time to feel. A person can do both. For example, my grandma is dying. I’m not sad yet because it’s logical that an old person is dying. I’m just planning end of life stuff and calling her. But when she dies, there’s no use in problem-solving. She’ll be dead. I can just be sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 10:21 PM
3

It’s an honor to be trusted with someone’s inner thoughts and feelings. I don’t want to take that lightly. It means someone feels safe with me enough to share things they don’t share with the general public.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 10:13 PM
1

It’s okay to cry. People who cry are healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 10:08 PM
3

It is shitty how few people have empathy for men. Every time a man comes to me with his feelings… it’s an absolute honor to be trusted with that. And I treat it as such.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:13 PM
0

Next time you’re upset and someone tells you to just calm down and think… remember how that feels. It’s okay to be solution-oriented but some people just need to sit in how they’re feeling for a bit. Feelings don’t care about facts.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:12 PM
5

I say we raise boys and girls the same way- in community. I’m vice president of my local historical society because I believe old guys and ladies should have a space to tell stories. I lead an outing club at my school because I believe young boys and girls should be outside, taking risks, and learning problem-solving and leadership skills. I believe the more conversations that we have across the gender gap, the more we come to understand the prisons we put ourselves in and break down those priso…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:03 PM
1

I can’t do anything about the fact that men are suffering? I just have to let it happen? I don’t like that. Certainly women have some agency in this if male loneliness is geared as a dating issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 08:45 PM
7

Yeah, just by existing we get swarmed. It’s a lot and honestly kind of overbearing. The moment I developed breast tissue I realized I’ll rarely know a man’s true intentions- is he talking to me because he likes me as a person, or because his lust is controlling him?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 07:25 PM
5

If men cared about each other, they wouldn't have to rely on women SO much to care for/about them. Like, when I was a kid I knew I wasn't going to have a normal mother so I found other female role models to look up to. I personally care about all people - including men I don't know.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 07:02 PM
10

It is sad that men are seen as potential threats to women and children. Like, if I’m alone at a park that’s not a problem. But if I was a man there would be an assumption that I’m a pervert. We need to work through and past this bias. Because people tend to become what we see in them, and by seeing men as dangerous, we make more dangerous men. It is also very interesting that men are willing to admit they see stranger men as threats but have a hard time with the fact that women feel the same way…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 05:03 PM
9

Do men care about each other? The way men talk online makes it seem like you all hate each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 04:46 PM
3

Why are men so cold to one another? Why do men hate each other and see each other as threats?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 04:44 PM
3

Yep! Our ultraprocessed foods have made it so our bodies cannot recognize nutrition in our foods. It actually disables our ability to feel full! I share Chris van Tulleken’s work on food systems when I teach about modern agriculture.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 04:35 PM
3

Yeah, everything here needs to burst with flavor. If you’re eating just an apple or going on a walk people look at you crazy. Part of healing my relationship w food involved leaving the US for a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 02:00 PM
3

yeah, I bike everywhere all summer. Biking and walking have also been relegated to being “poor people activities” since cars are a status symbol in the United States. We live in a regressive, irrational society.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 11:10 AM
11

The American food system is soooo fucked and most American cities are deeply unwalkable. We created our own obesity epidemic.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 10:38 AM
4

Nice guys with power are where it’s at.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 09:38 AM
3

It’s not about good or bad, it’s about power. Power is often sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 09:38 AM
5

In dating perhaps but certainly not in courtship cultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 05:08 PM
2

Yep. We want to be loved by a man just as men want to be loved by a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 05:26 PM
14

I like the framing of dating as a dance rather than a hunt or chase. It implies that both people are participants and subjects, rather than creating a subject/object dichotomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 01:41 PM
3

I choose first because most people in this world are super scared of rejection. I’m past that point so I don’t care. Also because I’m a woman and I’m less likely to be put on blast for being awkward than a man, unfortunately. If someone doesn’t choose me back, I reject the sunk cost fallacy and walk away.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 11:33 AM
4

You know what, if a guy just saw me as his next pussy fix and not an entire complex person with thoughts and feelings, I would indeed reject him. You’re right.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 10:51 AM
1

I fuck with it!!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 01:23 AM
4

My big mantra in life is to choose people who choose you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 01:20 AM
1

Am I properly rephrasing by saying that “no matter how good you are, a normal man will never be good enough in the eyes of a woman” ?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 09:24 PM
2

Seems like an issue of self-image then. Which a woman cannot fix for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 08:50 PM
6

This line of thinking is like a student believing that teachers’ standards are too high but not wanting to get an A for doing nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 08:50 PM
1

You can be old without being uncool. My dad is 64 and he still can hang. Being old is a privilege that most people for some reason want to avoid.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:18 PM
–

I think raising boys and girls the same way is absolutely the way to do things. Both boys and girls should be taught to say please and thank you, sir and ma’am, and to do household chores and practice independent living skills from an early age.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 11:19 AM
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Yeah when you train an entire social group to do something for centuries, a good number of people comply. What do you think sets apart the women who are deep from the superficial women? How can we work as a society to raise women of deeper character? (I’m not asking as a gotcha here, I’m asking because I enjoy thinking about this kind of stuff.)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 11:10 AM
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Historically women’s interests have been funneled into superficial things- hair, makeup, decorating, etc. and deeper interests like reading, philosophizing, and strategizing have been discouraged as “too masculine”. There are those of us who reject the superficial and jump into the deep. It takes courage to reject and redirect all gossip, quit wearing makeup, and focus on genuine, deep, caring bonds. But there are some of us who do these things!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 11:01 AM
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Yes, in any relationship you give and you take. If you want a relationship with a woman where she does everything and you are unconditionally loved no matter how naughty you are, call your mother.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:53 AM
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The only way to fix this is that we need to raise both boys and girls to do household chores. It’s astonishing how many moms don’t make their boys learn how to do dishes or fold laundry.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:50 AM
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I like paying for first dates because I don’t want to owe anyone anything. I also believe in the principle of paying if you invited and I tend to be the one who makes the first move and invite folks.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:48 AM
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Who is the first man a girl learns to love? :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:47 AM
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Most men and women are super shallow, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:43 AM
1

Vows :)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:32 AM
3

Marriage is great if you find the right partner. It’s what you make of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 09:17 PM
2

Some people like that agreement and choose to live that way. Others enjoy the stability of marriage. Ymmv.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 09:16 PM
1

Marriage is a contract and as humans with freedom of association, we like our contracts to have conditions as well as exit clauses if those conditions aren’t being met. Ending a relationship shouldn’t always be viewed as a failure; divorcing someone before you grow to resent and mistreat them is the healthier option sometimes. Granted, there are folks who treat marriage and divorce flippantly and luckily I don’t have to marry those folks.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 09:14 PM
2

I’ve been in a dead bedroom scenario. It was painful to feel like my partner didn’t want me!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 09:06 PM
1

How is denial better than living your life?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 01:00 AM
1

Aging is morally neutral. It just happens. I think moving through life and accepting that you age is normal and healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 07:58 PM
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I’m cool w all of that but the language of being conquered makes me feel less like a woman and more like a new settlement on the coast. Lmao I absolutely do these things to make my boyfriend feel affirmed though. I love cooking for him and crocheting little things and writing little love notes. :-) I do think a lot of us dish out love a lot better than we take it. It’s easy to buy gifts but hard to receive them for men. It’s easy for me to give words of affirmation but when my boyfriend tells me…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 01:39 AM
1

You can do everything right but if it’s for the wrong person you’ll still be left feeling gross. Sad but true.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 01:21 AM
1

Yes. Ask people questions and trust their answers. Trust, but investigate. Biggest thing for me is how a man treats people who have less power than him or people he’s not attractive to. I’ve dumped guys for being awful to their mothers before.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 01:16 AM
1

All you can do is be a person of your word and trust that others are. Once, a guy decided to bring me and another girl he was seeing to the same date and play it as if both of us were his friends. It was shitty of him and I told him so. However, if I had treated all men as if they were that one guy, I wouldn’t have the caring partner I currently have. All I can do is trust.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 12:29 AM
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I draw my man epsom salt baths baths and rub his back and tell him he’s handsome. I don’t know what you’re on about.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 09:08 PM
4

Same with men when they decide to leave or try and see someone on the side. My dad left his first wife for my mom, then got shocked when my mom left him. Turns out very few people are willing to be happy with what they already have! Marriage is about taking a risk and trusting the person you’re risking it all for.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 07:09 PM
9

In olden times those women were in the convent. Now they’re just chillin in society. I think we’ll be fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 06:23 PM
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All the time! If we want to be loved, we have to be loving. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 05:58 PM
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Huh? I love men. I love my daddy and I love my boyfriend. My bosses are men and I do what they ask too. I say sir and ma’am and hold the door for people. Love isn’t about resources, but love is definitely more than just a feeling. Love is feeling, truth, commitment, and action.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 05:22 PM
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No my dear, it’s about having a man who can run the household when I’m sick or who could raise the kids if I died or something. Not about being helpless.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 05:07 PM
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I bought myself a handmade leather harness at the ren faire this year. Idk what you’re on about
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 05:05 PM
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It does suck being lumped in with the bad apples who look like you, doesn’t it?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 05:01 PM
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What makes a ring feminine? Guys get rings when they win the Super Bowl. Not very feminine.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 04:57 PM
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Men wanna be our baby girls. They just are afraid to say it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 04:00 PM
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He wears his ring every day and loves it. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 03:42 PM
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hobbies aren’t supposed to be profitable. That would take the fun out of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 03:26 PM
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I’m not special. Nobody really is. I understand commodity fetishism and don’t engage. A name brand doesn’t mean much- materials and quality matter much more. Idk why your girlfriend would buy new sheets when she could just mend them with needle and thread. That’s what I do when my clothes and other things get tears. Disposability culture has ruined us. I buy my craft supplies from the thrift store! Just like I do everything else. I drive a used car I paid $3500 cash for. I can’t control other pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 01:30 PM
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This is the way. My partner gets his cards, I get my yarn. We’re both happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 01:08 PM
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I like travel because I teach geography and I have friends all over the world. When I travel I go for budget options or stay with friends. People who aren’t under the spells of consumerism culture do exist, but things still are expensive. For example, I’m into weaving. Looms and quality natural fibers are expensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 12:45 PM
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Oh, I see. I’m giving a tip of the hat to the fact that a lot of people reenact what they see in their family of origin in their own romantic and sexual relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 11:23 AM
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Woman B has expensive hobbies too- I sink so much money into craft supplies. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 11:17 AM
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Anyone can be in a relationship with a man. We all have dads.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 11:15 AM
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It seems men want to be romanced but don’t know how to ask for it. I bought my boyfriend a silver clauddagh ring in Ireland this summer and the friend I was with made fun of me, asking why I would buy a gift for a man. My response? Men want to be pampered just as we do.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 11:10 AM
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<image> My personal favorite brand of modesty
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 02:07 AM
2

Sometimes the best thing that can happen for a marriage is for it to end. No matter how well you vet things, anyone can leave the relationship at any time for any reason. It’s scary.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 01:35 AM
3

Comments like that is why my daddy makes sure I always have cash and a knife on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 10:52 PM
2

And there are very pretty girls who adore men while also having fair critiques :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 09:39 PM
5

I love the ugly feminist stereotype. It’s like saying any man who is unhappy with the dating market is an ugly incel.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 08:04 PM
12

<image> Mmm codpieces. Feminism took this from me
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 08:03 PM
15

I do miss when men dressed like real men. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 08:03 PM
10

You can tell a woman who has picked you “no”. Men have told me no before and I live to tell the tale.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 10:48 AM
31

Before you plan on marrying someone, have a list of questions you need answered. If the person gives you unsatisfactory responses to your questions, it’s time to move on and find someone else. My questions are mostly about shared values, finances, and child-rearing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 10:44 AM
9

I had to teach my dad to talk to me correctly. He used to throw a fit and threaten to go off and die when I would go with friends. I had to teach him to say it hurts his feelings when I dedicate less time to family and tell me that he wants to spend time with me. The feelings are not the problem - how we express them is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 02:44 PM
11

And I didn't enter a long-term relationship until I was able to control my emotions, out of respect for whoever I enter a relationship with. It's not my partner's responsibility to regulate me, that's my job. I often have to say to myself... "he's just a man and he can't read my mind" before I figure out how to communicate. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 01:55 PM
24

The toughest pill for me to swallow was that my feelings are MY responsibility. Nobody can rescue me out of my hard feelings and nobody else makes me feel anything or do anything. For example, yesterday my pipes froze and my partner forgot to turn the tap off when he left. I could have chosen to blow up at him and call him names and say he made me do that to him, but I didn't because I'm responsible for my feelings. Instead, I explained to him that next time he needs to shut the faucet off and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 01:46 PM
3

Men used to wear makeup and frills and stockings.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 10:16 AM
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Monks and nuns reject their physical needs in exchange for their spiritual needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 10:01 AM
1

Humans lie more when they’re afraid to tell you the truth. People are afraid to tell us the truth when we believe they’re lying.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 08:00 PM
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It’s REALLY hard to find a person you get along with enough to spend your entire life with because we’re all raised so differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 07:07 PM
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I think we should stop listening to women and start drafting them for marriage like we draft men for war. One a girl turns 18 she registers for the Wife Draft. Get their vital stats, put them online, give them to the man who bids the highest on them. That way we never have to worry about what women want ever again. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 07:06 PM
1

Even without guns I feel pretty safe. Most of our safety is psychological. Statistically speaking, I’m more likely to die of heart disease than by murder. I’m far more scared of our food system than I am of other people hurting me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 07:00 PM
1

No, I chalk it up to people being pretty good on the whole and the fact that I have a LOT of guns in my house.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 06:57 PM
1

I’ll take that under advisement but trusting people hasn’t hurt me too badly yet. I don’t lock my car or my apartment and nothing bad has happened. I live in a high trust community.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 06:52 PM
1

Kink is a safe space to play with the life-or-death danger that sex with men poses for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 05:11 PM
1

I trust people at their word until they give me reason to believe otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 05:09 PM
1

Date who you want to date. People will always have an opinion, but pay them no mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 03:23 AM
2

Sounds like you have really struggled and admitting that things are hard for you might remove your locus of control. I’m glad you got some of the mental health support that you need. I hope you find a routine that brings you joy and that you find yourself 💗
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 12:58 AM
1

Oh wow. I am so sorry to hear about your abuse at the hands of older boys. The worst part is that your experience certainly isn’t an isolated incident- many boys have suffered abuse at the hands of older boys and men who believe that young boys are sexual property. I wish I could give younger you a hug!!! You needed to be protected and that didn’t happen. My heart breaks for you my friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 12:06 AM
1

An interesting origin story. Why do you think your dad was so hands-off? My dad hoped to get a boy, but ended up raising two “goddamn girl babies” by himself. He came to every concert, science fair, you name it. He’s self-employed as a diesel mechanic and has told men to go fuck themselves when they demanded he work instead of spending time with us. We’ve never been rich, but dad made things happen. He just shared this on Facebook, and it rings true: <image> I do sometimes wish I had a stronger …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 10:29 PM
1

Dancing and sex are verrrry similar.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 10:20 PM
1

Every single human behavior is learned. Your parents taught you how to walk and use a toilet. Let them teach you how to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 09:21 PM
1

Absent and distant fathers have created such a vacuum in families and societies. Men, please please please raise the kids you’ve made. Because it seems no other man is gonna want to step up and raise em.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 09:20 PM
1

I know someone whose mom took him out for dancing lessons when she found porn on his computer. So there are parents out there teaching their sons how to romance women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 09:19 PM
2

Thank god that something being popular doesn’t always mean it’s good. Because Jake Paul and Mr. Beast aren’t necessarily doing anything to add actual value to humanity but their faces are everywhere!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 09:17 PM
4

Even women who present in ways to evade male attention cannot fully escape the male gaze. It’s wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 09:12 PM
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I’m scared to do ancestry DNA because so many of my friends have found secret aunts and uncles in their families from dads sleeping around. My great grandpa had his wife pregnant back-to-back 5 or 6 times. Somehow he still got at least one woman up in Maine pregnant in this time. My dad met my mom while he was married to his first wife. He initiated both of his divorces and got full custody of both of us girls. None of these men are bad people necessarily, but they’re not always making super pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 03:06 AM
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And this is why I’m glad I had a loving, caring father to steer me in the right direction. Very few men or women have that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 07:58 PM
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I get told I’m not allowed to post there because my partner is 2 inches taller than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 05:32 PM
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Why is people in quotation marks?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 04:42 PM
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Thank you for the suggestion - I hope you have a wonderful day.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 04:41 PM
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I’m a teacher. I’m not too worried. My students are resourceful young people because our community invests in our youth. Smart kids can come from uneducated parents too. I was the first in my family to get a high school diploma- my grandfather couldn’t even read.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 11:18 PM
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I didn’t want to have kids or get married until I met my partner. Now, I seriously wanna have this guy’s babies. People only change when they decide to do so. He didn’t force me to change- in fact, he was okay with being dual income no kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 10:45 PM
1

This is very compelling. From this, it seems like the best bet for us girls is to run full backgrounds checks on any men we try to date and have our families vet them. Which is what I do. Any man who doesn’t want to meet my daddy isn’t gonna get with me!!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:26 PM
1

So if we as women do give sex to someone, we have lost all of our leverage we may have had with them. Our power is in not giving men what they want from us.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:20 PM
4

Conservationism or conservatism?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 02:19 PM
3

Technological progress is not a given. Empires rise and fall. It’s natural.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 12:20 PM
3

I chose the year arbitrarily. In 1925, we had 2.5 billion people on earth. I don’t think that standard of living economically was too horrible at the time. Decay is natural. Have you ever been to a forest? The entire floor is comprised of decaying plants. Decay is necessary for an ecosystem or economy to function because infinite growth is not sustainable. Malthus and his ilk predicted humans would reach their carrying capacity through unfettered growth. Norman Berlag and other agronomists preve…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 11:51 AM
8

Were we all shitting in holes and living in huts in 1925? “Progress” is never linear nor is it guaranteed. We will have to learn how to make do with less for a sustainable future. Those of us who have been broke and know how to live slowly and be scrappy will be fine. Humanity has had plenty of dark ages and terrible periods. Again, progress is never a guarantee.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 11:17 AM
3

A greying population certainly has its challenges, but those challenges aren’t insurmountable if we honor our elders. I live in a place w high economic development and a lot of boomers. It’s not a bad way to live as long as your state government is half-competent.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 11:14 AM
1

I love disagreeing respectfully with people! However, I hate being lied to. I find it odd that your premise is “since women have standards, men will lie to meet those standards and disrespect women behind their backs” If I had a job posting that required someone to know Python and C++ and someone lied about it to get the job, it would be perfectly acceptable to fire that person. If I had someone sign a contract to re-roof my house and they took my money but didn’t show up or give me a roof, I wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 11:12 AM
2

Have you ever heard of choice paralysis?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 11:04 AM
8

Mature people are in relationships with people they can respectfully disagree with. Crazy people lie to each other and try to read one another’s minds to change themselves to be more appealing to the other. This goes for men and women. And I say this because I’ve been crazy before.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:16 AM
11

Fair enough. As long as you’re cool with indentured servitude and slavery making a comeback and the demise of industrial civilization, I’m in.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:14 AM
3

I love studying the demographic transition model! My ninth graders understand it so certainly the internet people can figure it out. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:13 AM
5

I applaud you for standing in your values.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:12 AM
6

You wouldn’t resent a LL wife in a DB situation?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:06 AM
12

So since many men lie to get sex, there’s no way to tell if any man is lying to bed us or being genuine? Sounds like women need a social movement to ensure they aren’t harmed by men who will do anything to access them, including lying, cheating and stealing. What might we call such a movement?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:05 AM
15

So because men will do stupid things and destroy their civilization for pretty girls, the rest of us average looking girls have to suffer? Matthew 18:9 is a Bible verse that comes to mind here.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:55 AM
14

<image> This graph is why I’m not too worried about societal collapse. We as a species made do with fewer people for so long. 8 billion people are not necessary for humanity to continue. Infinite exponential growth, however, will lead to societal collapse.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:51 AM
5

The myth of the historic monogamous loving arranged marriage strikes again! Families have always been economic systems first and foremost. The love is rare and often occurs outside of the marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:41 AM
8

Perhaps the reason why many women don’t want to carry on their family legacy needs to be investigated. How are women being treated? After all, the 18th amendment was pushed through by women who were being beaten and starved by their husbands who were supposed to provide for them, but instead spent all that provision money at the pub instead. When we demonize women - particularly mothers and family women- we add to the number of women who never want to create families. If we want more families, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:40 AM
12

Why is it that men only do things to please women or to get women? Are women truly that powerful over men?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:32 AM
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Fair. So you’re hitting on the idea of pretty privilege, basically.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 09:10 PM
–

So having a bunch of people who want to completely destroy you is a privilege?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 09:03 PM
–

Being so desired that people want to harm you isn’t a privilege. And many people desire young beautiful women in harmful ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 08:59 PM
16

It’s exhausting to be someone’s everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 12:01 AM
2

Dates don’t even have to cost a lot. Coffee and a walk in the park is a perfectly acceptable option!!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 10:26 AM
2

Dates are fun. Why wouldn’t you want to hang out with someone you’re attracted to?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 01:16 AM
5

Boston marriages!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 11:05 AM
1

You are absolutely correct in that. However, things can change.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 10:58 AM
2

And one must imagine Sisyphus buff as hell!!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 09:44 PM
3

It’s nice to create a deeper connection beyond just the physical :) it’s also fun to laugh and talk with someone of the gender to which you’re attracted, in my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 09:44 PM
3

It does. Mass media may not portray it, but mass media often doesn’t reflect reality. But good men are worth their weight in gold. They just often don’t get the appreciation they deserve.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 09:03 PM
3

So men should teach their boys how to seduce women instead of teaching their boys how to be good company for a woman? My partner was himself and waited and ended up with lil old me so the advice does work sometimes, I reckon.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:27 PM
2

Practice does make better. I used to suck at riding a bike and now I can go 15 miles like it’s no big deal. I used to be terrified of men but now I live with one!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:07 PM
4

I’m a woman. My father taught me how to be good company and a good person. That’s what helps to make me a good partner! Here we are before a father-daughter dance in 2004. <image> Also, the dates are the fun part of being with someone (in my opinion). If you don’t wanna take your women on dates, what do you want to do with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:46 PM
2

My dad taught me whoever invites, pays. So when I ask my boyfriend out I pay. When he asks me out, he pays. I was also taught to be willing to pick up the tab regardless of what someone orders. I was also taught to tip generously and how to make conversation with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:39 PM
1

Good looking girls don’t have just one look, do they? Men also have a variety of aesthetic preferences. Some men like breasts, others like legs, etc. even what is considered “good looking” changes from man to man.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:12 PM
5

And that’s okay. Men don’t need to be perfect to be good
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:00 PM
2

I think our obsession with recapturing lost youth as a society is problematic. Aging isn’t a bad thing. Yes, you will never be as you were earlier. But the future isn’t doomed just because you won’t always be a jacked 18 year old.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:50 PM
7

Yes, your body will break down eventually as you age. But aging is not a failure. It is a natural progression of time!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:48 PM
1

So what you’re saying is that good looking people tend to pair with good looking people?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:47 PM
2

I think the best thing parents can do is take their kids out on dates. I learned how to be a good partner by going out to dinner with my dad all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 12:28 PM
54

My friend, there is no peak. We are all Sisyphus, toiling and getting stronger as a result of our toil. We can always be better.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 12:24 PM
-1

“Women do not compromise. I refuse to compromise on this matter”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 11:51 AM
1

Men are now experiencing the kind of online ramping up of beauty standards that women were dealing with on the earlier Internet. So us girls know a thing or two about hating ourselves and having horrible body dysmorphia. I cannot change your mind and make you believe that you are handsome or worthy loving, but I do want to offer that us young folks aren’t always as shallow as the internet portrays us to be. I’m 26 and the people I’m describing in relationships and marriages who are imperfect are…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 11:09 AM
-1

I know tall, short, fat, skinny, bald, and hairy men who are in relationships. There isn’t one kind of attractive. I know online beauty standards are getting intense for men, but you don’t have to have a rippling six pack to be handsome. You are good enough!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 10:59 AM
0

Our own aesthetic choices often reflect our taste in men. Goth girls and preppy girls are looking for different things in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 10:48 AM
0

If we all had the exact same aesthetic preferences, we’d all dress the same and do hair and nails the same. But that’s not the case!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 10:45 AM
2

Absolutely. Most people have something that makes them beautiful. I suggest you check out the evolution of beauty by Richard Prum. It’s a lovely little read about Darwinism and mate choice theory.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:35 AM
3

I know you were being sarcastic. :-) Being attractive to everyone isn’t realistic, but most people are attractive to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:23 AM
3

Some men do like us chubby girls with small breasts, yes. Just like women, men have a wide variety of aesthetic tastes! And some people like more “conventionally” attractive women. Different strokes for different folks. The existence of a very conventionally pretty woman doesn’t make me any less pretty in my own right. We’re simply different and that’s okay :)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:19 AM
-1

This may be hard to believe, but women have a wide variety of aesthetic preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:45 AM
10

Knowing exactly what you want in a relationship will get you farther than casting a super wide net and having no idea what you actually want.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 07:58 PM
3

Flairing that I’m a redheaded hunchbacked lesbian dwarf to contextualize each and every statement I make through the lens of my intersecting identities 🫶🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 03:11 AM
4

This leads to incompatible people in relationships out of a need for survival tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 11:19 AM
2

So what I’ve gathered from reading this is that men want to feel needed in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 11:18 AM
–

It is weird how disposable men are and how women are a resource to be hoarded. Just look at polygamous sects. In order for the men to have multiple wives, leaders necessarily have to push out men they see as "inadequate".
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 12:36 PM
–

I know. I can’t change anyone, but I can assert my opinions. Perhaps if other people see a different view, it can help them to contextualize their own perspectives.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 12:04 PM
–

And that’s okay. I cannot change your beliefs, but I am allowed to have different beliefs from you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 12:03 PM
–

So you see human nature as kind of immutable and inevitable?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 12:02 PM
–

I can’t change other people’s minds, but I can speak for my own view. I don’t think anyone is evil, but I do think young people have a developmentally appropriate anti-authoritarian streak… which means young folks are kinda anti-family. Give em time, they usually chill out.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:40 AM
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I think teaching about consent and sexual assault is helpful for all- men can be raped, too, and deserve the same protections as women when assaulted.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:31 AM
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Yep. You find what you’re looking for in other people. That’s why it’s best to search for the good in others.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:30 AM
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And they still see men more as human doings that human beings. You menfolk are valuable by virtue of existing, just as us women are!!! You don’t have to perform a certain song and dance of masculinity to be a worthy man. You ARE!! 🫶🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:29 AM
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I’m glad I have overcome my “evolutionary programming”… I believe men and women are equally worthy of respect and love, though what love looks like to each may differ.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:27 AM
–

The people! United! Will never be defeated!! Man-loving feminists are around… it’s just that bad behavior gets more attention than good behavior. Just like there are kind, caring men out there, but asshole guys get more attention because outrage drives engagement. The more us men and women recognize that our freedoms are inextricably linked and not adversarial interests, the better.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:26 AM
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I’m woman enough to admit when I don’t know something. That’s what helps me to learn. I’ll change my flair. I don’t believe in any of the pills tbh. I believe all people are creative, resourceful, and whole. :) I like the idea of men and boys being able to build value and character in a caring supported context. The bigotry of low expectations has done a number of many boys in public schools.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 11:01 AM
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I don’t know the answer to that, I’ll be honest. I guess the best course of action would be to do some leadership study. See what great leaders did and how you can adapt it to your own leadership practice! Additionally, you can spend time with families and see how they operate in order to see what kind of family you want to have. Often, our only frame for family systems is our own (as OP is showing us) and getting a wider perspective allows us to make adjustments to our family leadership practic…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 10:52 AM
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I believe the Hegelian dialectic would be useful here! thesis + antithesis = synthesis Some men are not adequate leaders, other men are great family leaders. The synthesis from this is that families should probably have checks and balances on power just like governments do. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 10:36 AM
–

Men understand that men can be tyrants as governmental leaders. It’s harder for them to grasp that men are sometimes family tyrants.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 10:34 AM
9

My boyfriend’s friends were really great wingmen while we were courting. They cleaned out his car and talked him up to me. I do the same for my male friends. It costs nothing to be kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 02:21 AM
2

I love saying this to men when they start yelling at me for a fact I raised in conversation. Anger is a feeling, gents!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 06:27 PM
3

Men are rational beings, women are crazy. Duh! 😭🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 06:26 PM
–

Arousal is fine, it doesn’t create obligation to have sex though. I’ve been aroused by accidentally pinching my nipples when I was hauling boulders in a field. It was a natural reaction. Didn’t mean I had to fuck the rock though!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 06:14 PM
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I’m glad we’re in the same frame of mind… sexuality should be an empowering practice for all involved 🫶🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 04:13 PM
–

It is weird that sexuality is always seen in a way where men are always the subject and women are always the object. especially since so many men… actually seek to be the object. Women and men are both shamed for expressing their sexuality. We call men creeps and women whores, as you noted. Many women are uncomfortable with being seen as sexual objects and with their own sexuality. If a woman expresses TOO much interest, she’s a desperate slut just like a man expressing too much interest is seen…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:51 PM
1

I love my attorney and his lawyer friends. They often ask me why I skipped out on going to law school. ;) Most divorces don’t have enough assets to require trials or lawyers luckily. My dad represented himself and won, two divorces and counting!!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:23 PM
1

Gotcha. It’s like how I have my bf check out contracts I write up for my nonprofit because he understands contract law. So your partner finds those kinds of cases annoying on paper but she’s not going to court for divorces. But generally it is bad practice to hide assets in a divorce, yes. I do understand that some people have more knowledge than me, which is why I ask questions. If I thought I knew everything I’d make assumptions and tell you what kind of person you are without ever asking. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 02:48 PM
1

How do you think gender roles would change if men carried the babies, though? Like, on a real note? Or if we were as sexually… open as bonobos? Or if we came out of the womb fully ready for life? Our long neonatal period affects our social roles too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 02:05 PM
0

Why would your girlfriend deal with civil procedure if she’s a criminal lawyer? My bf does civil law but doesn’t touch divorce since it’s different from what he does (Personal injury/workers comp)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:59 PM
-1

Seems like you’ve thought a lot about what makes a person hireable and what makes someone not hireable. I have no need to be a victim. I can be an offender, which is far more fun. I have a degree in a “studies” field but I’m not going to sue someone when I’m upset. I’m going to beat their ass and call them a retard- like a man would! I learned more from teaching in Jackson, Mississippi than I ever learned in school. But school certainly prepared me for it by teaching me the history of education …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:45 PM
–

I think both men and women have to suppress their desires. If you do not control your desires, your desires control you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:42 PM
1

So if we were seahorses in terms of biological reproduction our social structures might be different?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:42 PM
–

Do they?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:40 PM
–

I think being a remote villager is better than having to strip mine lithium for Chinese firms though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 11:54 AM
–

I have to suppress my own desire and enjoyment too. If I could, I’d lay up in bed all day doing the deed. But I have to do laundry and take care of kids and stuff, so I suppress my desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 11:44 AM
2

Nah, your comments were interesting so I read them and responded. You posted, I responded. That’s how the internet works!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 11:39 AM
–

The Congo is a product of Africa’s rape and pillage from European powers. Its borders should have never been drawn. Tribes that hate each other were put into arbitrarily drawn borders and expected to get along while being exploited for maximum resource exports to the “developed” world.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 11:38 AM
0

He ended up with a moustache like that because he shaved the rest of his face but let the hair on his upper lip grow. You are correct that he is not a pussy cat.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 11:10 AM
-1

So certain degrees are useless because you discriminate against them in hiring, essentially. I have a “studies” degree (human development and family studies, German minor) and I’ve never had trouble finding work. I’m more than just my degree, as more folks are.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 11:02 AM
–

Capitalism sure helped the people of the Congo!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 10:49 AM
1

By this same argument, since people have over time in the United States looked to white people for leadership, we shouldn’t legislative allowing Black people to vote or own property since they themselves were historically property. You can’t just legislate away slavery since it’s “natural”! Saying something is a “natural” is a great way to ignore any analysis of hegemonic forces.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 10:47 AM
3

Yes! All the pressure we put on parents to be everything for the children leads to more anxiety, abuse and neglect than if we supported parents and took some of the pressure off of them. Look at how the danish raise their kids- it’s a team effort!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 02:34 PM
1

So many people don’t realize that sex is indeed life and death. It isn’t just fun and games!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 12:55 PM
1

Don’t be long if you don’t belong. If someone doesn’t like you, staying is more humiliating than leaving is hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:52 AM
4

Abstinence forever, it seems!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:17 AM
3

Family function > family form It’s, like, the first thing you learn in an intro to human development and family studies course.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:16 AM
14

Kids need to have a bunch of adults they can trust and go to for support! Not just one or two parents. The more we all help kids out, the better.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:07 AM
13

I’m glad my parents divorced. They’re not good for each other. I was raised by my dad… very grateful for that and for him. The key to single parenthood is to have a robust village to help you raise your kids. My dad constantly had us with aunts and uncles and cousins and family friends to make raising us a little easier. It worked.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:05 AM
–

College-educated women tend to be the most successful in marriage when we get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 10:33 AM
1

Sounds great. Hope you have a good night!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 11:41 PM
1

So you’re going to be in the military and on an oil rig?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 09:59 PM
1

And in exchange, what do you provide for your partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 08:09 PM
1

What are your skills? I love hearing about what skills folks have.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 06:08 PM
1

So you are also someone with a useful skill set, then.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 06:07 PM
1

I was gonna say, I’ve heard men discuss “butterface” women- body’s great butterface…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:37 PM
1

I like my skirts year-round but I also think other women should be allowed to wear pants lmao. I just don’t have a pants body!!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:17 PM
1

How high of a heel are we talking? How short or long of a skirt is acceptable to you? What level of cooking skills do you require? Shake and bake, soup from scratch, or cooking from the home garden?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:16 PM
1

What skills do you believe make a person useful? For me it’s stuff like cooking, navigating, history and government knowledge, mental math, and basic building/making skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:14 PM
1

How would she find you if she’s being chaste and remaining single?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:07 PM
2

So our bodies are more important than our faces?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:06 PM
2

70% of American men are also overweight/obese. It’s the food system and car-dependent infrastructure.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:05 PM
7

I don’t like dating apps because guys swipe indiscriminately and open with messages asking to see my butthole instead of saying hi and asking me questions first.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 08:14 PM
23

All I know is I’m glad I was raised by my dad. He taught me how to be kind AND assertive. Many people don’t get that kind of parenting. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:10 PM
1

Back when I was OLD my profile hand-fed men all the information needed to woo me. It made dating so much easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 04:26 PM
4

Yes. Dating profiles are an exercise in rhetoric and many men do not understand how to create a positive, appealing rhetoric about themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 03:28 PM
0

It may be hard to believe… but women do not think or act as a monolith. Within our gender there is diversity of opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 10:50 AM
20

“But my old partner let me!” would be a lovely rhetorical furtherance of this. To be clear, I love you menfolk… I don’t do butts.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 01:54 AM
4

It really can be hard to “choose better” when many men are in spaces online that encourage them to say anything to get a woman in bed with them. Decisions are made based on information and when the information presented is a lie, then that decision is made under false pretenses.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 02:15 AM
6

It’s generally inadvisable to enter a relationship with someone who isn’t attractive to you. But someone’s existence isn’t offensive just because they’re unattractive to you! It just means that person isn’t for you. They may rev someone else’s engine though.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:50 AM
19

I know, women exist to look nice for me in particular! When a woman isn’t pretty enough for my tastes I also take it as a personal insult. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 01:22 AM
2

My partner and I have both quit halfway through and we both respect it when it happens. You're not any less of a man for saying no. I'd rather someone say no than have sex with an unwilling/disgusted partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 08:43 PM
3

You slept with someone who disgusted you so much you vomited? You know you can revoke consent at any time and nobody's forcing you to have sex with these people, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 08:11 PM
–

How do all those monks manage to stay celibate?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 08:02 PM
4

I'm not calling you gay at all. I believe calling men gay or girly because we don't agree with them is wrong. If you have a sexual partner who wants to be eaten out and you don't want to eat them out, perhaps you should part ways with that sexual partner. It's okay to not be compatible with someone!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 05:42 PM
6

There are some people who don't wash super well. There are also men who can't be bothered to wipe their asses properly or clean their foreskins.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 05:32 PM
–

Asking someone to bottle in their feelings leads to soul death imo. When men control their emotions too much, it comes out in other ways. They scream and rage. Source: my dad used to scream and berate and beat me because he didn’t understand his own emotions. Now that he’s in tune with how he feels and talks to me about his feelings, our relationship is MUCH better.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:23 PM
3

In your worldview, men are dominant but women choose? That isn’t a consistent power structure.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:04 PM
8

So men have no responsibility in picking a good woman? And women must pick good men and be able to tell when men lie to them in order to get in their pants?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:02 PM
5

You can top from the bottom, you know. The receptive partner can fuck the SHIT outta the penetrating partner if they so choose. It’s actually very easy to dominate most men in the bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:01 PM
11

So men aren’t making choices at all in dating? I truly hope my boyfriend isn’t with me against his will. I chose him and asked him out, but I hope he’s here of his own free will.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 12:57 PM
0

I try not to gossip, but I see how informal information networks have helped to keep women safe.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 12:55 PM
–

It took me a while to work through why men’s emotional vulnerability created a response in me, but I eventually got over it. Men are able to feel- and we should encourage them to do so. By locking them out of their feelings we lock them out of true connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 12:54 PM
9

But the same things applies to women- we can want to date someone, but they’re allowed to say no to us, too. Just like men can get jumped and raped in alleys, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 12:49 PM
10

What about the strange man? Should he have consequences for choosing to hook up with any sort of woman and gossiped about for making a poor choice?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 12:47 PM
3

Everyone deserves to have standards in dating. It helps us filter out who is and isn’t going to fit into our lives and families.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 12:45 PM
–

Visionary feminism is a wonderful school of thought. 🫶🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 11:34 PM
–

I got some bell hooks wisdom for ya that helped me understand, to a certain extent: “The reality is that men are hurting and that the whole culture responds to them by saying, “Please do not tell us what you feel.” I have always been a fan of the Sylvia cartoon where two women sit, one looking into a crystal ball as the other woman says, “He never talks about his feelings.” And the woman who can see the future says, “At two P.M. all over the world men will begin to talk about their feelings—and …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 11:18 PM
–

Which is a perverse incentive loop for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 10:51 PM
–

do you just need someone to validate your struggles? Because I can understand that. Getting rejected is hard and it hurts.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 10:45 PM
1

Which two things am I choosing between: belittling and respecting or friends and partners?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 08:35 PM
2

Correct. Power-seeking and love cannot coexist in my humble opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 08:09 PM
1

Yes, people are thralled to power and humiliate themselves in the hopes of gaining some of that power. Look at all the people donny t insulted and degraded lining up to get jobs in his administration. It’s the same principle as women fawning over rich guys. Of course, some of us have no interest in that and would rather spend time with people we love, eat leftovers, and be normal, middle class people.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 08:08 PM
1

Of course! A relationship must be a shared effort- not just the pet project of one party involved. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 08:01 PM
1

I get really great results from the people I lead without ever insulting or belittling them. Why make men choose having friends or having a wife? Why can’t they have both?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 08:00 PM
1

Girl, Christopher Columbus would like a word!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 05:09 PM
1

Nah I’m a simp for my mans and he’s a simp for me. It’s not 50/50, it’s 100/100. I bring him coffee and wake him up in the morning and make him dinner. He takes me out on dates and goes grocery shopping for me!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 04:15 PM
1

It’s giving Taliban, I fear
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 10:34 AM
2

I’m agreeing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 10:32 AM
-3

My hobby is politics so yes. lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 01:06 AM
4

Okay, thank you so much for sharing your perspective. Have a great night
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 01:03 AM
-1

If you can't lead yourself, you can't lead anyone else. ;) I think of my relationship as a partnership, but my boyfriend says "yes chef" whenever I ask him to do anything. I'm the one with the vision board and the 5 year plan and tend to run the show. But I was raised to be a miniature version of my father and look up to, like, LBJ and Stalin. LOL. People without direction or vision in dating are soooo common. We need to teach people about establishing goals and values in the modern dating world…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 12:28 AM
2

Doing something first so that others will follow is what taking initiative is, in this case. I'm not talking about mustering the gumption to poo. But being able to make decisions for yourself is key to building leadership skills, I suppose. You are correct in that it doesn't always shake out that you get folks to follow along when you make a leading move. In my humble and often incorrect opinion, integrity is key to leadership. I won't follow a leader who insults or belittles to make a point.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 12:20 AM
4

So, like, I can't talk to my boss without my boyfriend present?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 12:15 AM
2

And assertive with every other man, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 11:09 PM
8

Taking initiative is leadership. Making the first move is leadership. Asserting is leadership.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 11:09 PM
5

I’ll always assert myself as a woman. Even if I’m labeled crazy or selfish or bitchy. But it was an uphill battle to adopt an assertive belief system. Our whole lives as girls and women, we’re told we’re supposed to serve others. Cook and clean and nurture and raise and guide and always think of everyone! Turns out you can care about others AND yourself simultaneously.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 11:07 PM
1

The internet. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 07:56 PM
3

Global competition has made most people antsy. Knowledge, money, and beauty now have global consequences as opposed to just local consequences. I blame the innanet.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 06:54 PM
–

Doesn't it? He does so much for me now, I don't need to be upset about what he did for other partners in the past. If I want something from him, I just ask for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 06:07 PM
–

I don't care what my partner did before me. Because he's with me now, and that's what actually matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 04:53 PM
–

Some of this stuff won't make sense to us until we're parents and raising our own kids. But having your parents and friends help you vet partners is actually really nice. Turns out they know a lot more about what I need from a relationship than I do. That's why traditionally friends and family helped us find partners!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 07:46 PM
–

I think it's mostly a protective measure. He spent his entire life raising me and protecting me, and doesn't want to give me away to just any Tom, Dick, or Harry. Luckily, I found a partner who fits into our family like a hand into a glove. If my dad hadn't been so protective, I'm not sure if that'd be the case now.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 07:39 PM
3

See, I was allowed access to everything and started rooting around in my dad's toolbox. I had a natural inclination toward more "masculine" interests - math, science, trucks, philosophy, German, law, reason, analysis, history, fishing, engineering. I still enjoy these things - as well as baking, weaving, wearing skirts, etc. My mom got pregnant at 17 and dropped out of school. She never quite the chance to get a career. I was the first in my family to graduate from high school, and I got a maste…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:49 AM
4

You said that we should aspire first and foremost to motherhood. We never say that to men, which I find odd. Little boys don't get to play with baby dolls or fantasize about their sons and daughters. We start that division of labor very early on in children's lives. And again, I like kids and want them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:33 AM
1

Awh. What do you like to do with your kiddo? I'm excited to start having kids once my partner and I get a house. Habit and addiction are two very different things. A gym habit is great, but an addiction is dangerous and impedes on your functioning.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:31 AM
3

Low IQ does not cause poverty - social darwinism has been thrown out of the window for quite some time. And yes, children don't get to choose who their parents are. I've taught teens who are the primary breadwinners for their families at 15 or 16. They're not stupid, but they were born into poor circumstances. And not everyone makes it out of poverty just by being clever. You can get more calories than you need while still being malnourished. Most obese people in America are malnourished because…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:29 AM
1

Poverty affects cognition. Poor people tend to have smaller prefrontal cortexes/hippocampuses because poverty doesn't allow for long-term decision making.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:21 AM
4

Kids are cute so we'll care for them, for sure. but they're also annoying little pukes who drive us nuts. Children are not an addiction. They are people. We love them and derive joy from them, but they are a huge responsibility as well. Do you have children?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:19 AM
3

No boys are conditioned to only be fathers. Why is mother the only parenting role that's a full time job?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:16 AM
1

We need to support, uphold, and cherish health loving families for sure. Being a parent should be empowering, not terrifying.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:16 AM
6

What? How is housework like heroin? There's nowhere nearly as much dopamine involved. The only similarity is that both become habit.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:13 AM
15

Having a family and taking care of them is a lot of repetitive nonsense. Diapers, sweeping, laundry, cleaning shit off the toilet seat, cooking, cleaning, continue.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 11:20 PM
1

Yeah, what I’m saying is that power can corrupt people and make then do things they would otherwise find morally reprehensible. You and I may be of the same mind… I believe that all people are resourceful, creative, and whole. But power is a corrupting thing. My boyfriend thinks I’m pretty. But if our relationship only hinged on that, we’d be in deep doodoo.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 11:18 PM
2

Aesthetic mate choice theory babie!!!! Humans have different tastes and even form whole subcultures around those tastes!!! Have you read the Evolution of Beauty by Richard Prum?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 09:31 PM
8

Hegemony is one helluva drug. It's easier to say the way things are is just natural instead of challenging why things are that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 09:28 PM
1

So when you meet a woman, you tell her you're excited to start a family and build a home with her? Being motivated by sex a little bit can be nice, but when that impulse is more important than your need for family connection it's problematic. For example, cheating on a pregnant wife or molesting one's children.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 09:21 PM
4

So men just appreciate beauty and will gain power in order to enjoy beauty? King George III was a tyrant only for the nookie? Then why does the Catholic Pope have so much power? He doesn't do it for pussy? Also... You only do things because you want pussy? That's your only motivation in life? To do anything?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 09:02 PM
7

No man is naturally attracted to power? Why do we have kings and presidents and wars then? Men don't want to own guns or money? The Bataan Death March was just for the hell of it? The Stanford Prison Experiment was just a fluke? Hitler rose to power in a vacuum? Power entices and corrupts. No matter your gender or biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 08:17 PM
5

Men and women are both thralled by power. It’s the nature of power. It’s sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 07:26 PM
–

Paternal certainty is just for the father, then. Not for courts or the child or the ecosystem. Just something dad needs to know?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 06:09 PM
–

If there’s no documentation, then there’s no permanency to the fact that the DNA link exists between father and child. Information that isn’t documented isn’t useful for historiography, genetics, or any of the reasons folks have listed for wanting to get a test in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 03:36 PM
–

You’re not damaged or broken. All people are creative, resourceful, and whole- including you! But building trust is hard!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 12:49 PM
–

I want the same for men tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 12:35 PM
–

Doesn’t the documentation of the DNA test need to be maintained somewhere in order for it to have any sort of legitimacy?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 12:33 PM
–

And who has the results of those paternity tests these folks are taking? A company analyzes and keeps those results somewhere. That’s a data privacy concern as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 12:32 PM
–

There’s no other evidence of trust within a relationship to that point? I shaved my boyfriend’s neck in the shower the other day. He really had to trust me in that moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 12:30 PM
–

Men will care for non biological kids if they know that’s what’s going on. My dad was a pretty good stepdad to my half sister and will take care of nonbiological kids. I have him come in to my classroom and give my teens life advice. He’s a collective papa to all the kiddies my sister babysits, too. More men should work with kids- having strong loving men as role models as kids helps build societal trust in men. By delegating all tasks with kids to women, men do themselves a great disservice. Bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 12:26 PM
–

The chastity belt is a guarantee that the baby will be yours. You unlock the baby making parts and nobody else has access to them. If nobody else has access then that’s a guarantee of paternity! I was raised by a single father. My sister and I are the center of his world. 💗💗💗 Also, I hope when I get pregnant my partner still cares about my wellbeing in addition to the wellbeing of the child!!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 10:43 AM
10

Yes! Relationships are team efforts. If you’re a solid team, you’re unstoppable.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 03:38 AM
21

Perhaps… the way people are raised and the way people parent isn’t universal. My father threatens any man who looks my way, as well as any man I express interest in. Then he wondered why I dated women in college! 😭 Being a woman with a good relationship with my dad has warded off some guys… but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Anyone who can’t jive with my dad can’t get with me. My dad raised me, he’s my dawg, and I love him. My current partner and my dad are buddies and joke and laugh together…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 06:25 PM
8

All people act in their own self interest. Adam Smith thought so, at least. The idea of men being self-interested decision makers is a rational scientific tenet of the enlightenment. Why is it a surprise when women follow rational economic principles, too?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 01:59 PM
1

Tbh I’d rather my husband have the keys to a chastity belt I wear while he’s away. That’s foolproof!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 11:19 AM
1

Send me your dating profile and I’ll tell you lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 12:07 AM
1

I'm sorry that your father was absent at your birth - that sounds like a difficult birth story, and I'm glad you made it through! Was it his absence are your birth what necessitated the paternity test? Were your parents married when you were born? Or was it to figure out if you had the stomach issue? I'm glad you didn't get that stomach issue. Formula is great for parents who can't breastfeed, but there are certainly all sorts of things in formulas that can bug baby tummies. DNA testing is usefu…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:18 PM
1

What peace of mind is granted from a dna test? My father doesn’t need a dna test because I look and act exactly like him. I plan on doing medical checkups and all that good stuff, but birth in a hospital isn’t necessary unless you’re high risk. It’s just expensive and stressful in my opinion. Doulas and midwives know what they’re doing and giving birth at home is far more comfortable than being in a sterile environment hooked up to wires.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:36 PM
3

Yep! James Buchanan was derided for being a bachelor president.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:32 PM
2

I’m not planning on birthing in a hospital so the risk of a switch at birth just… isn’t there. I don’t think paternity tests are a universal need tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:30 PM
8

It’s hard to get people to agree to mandatory vaccines. Getting folks to all give up their DNA might be hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 06:34 AM
8

It’s not in your best interest to be truthful? That you believe that men want to hypergamously trade for younger women?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 06:30 AM
11

Why not just register every sexual encounter with the government on a database?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 06:26 AM
1

Thank you for telling me I cannot read. I wasn’t attempting to come off as condescending but I can’t change how you perceive things. I do discuss epistemology in my classroom! But it certainly isn’t in the standards. I didn’t learn about it until undergrad. My standards for high schoolers revolve around asking and answering authentic questions to discover knowledge, being able to find and interpret various sources, and using various media to form and share their position on an issue. Homeschooli…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 10:43 AM
0

As a high school teacher I can tell you that SMV is not in my curriculum
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 10:36 AM
–

Yeah the food systems of industrialized nations aren’t always focused on what we need. Thus we have people who are getting way too many calories but not nearly enough nutrition. I lost 60 pounds in the past year and half and it wasn’t as easy as CICO. it was a lot of cognitive restructuring, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 11:35 PM
–

Thank you for sharing. I hope you have a great day.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 06:33 PM
–

I’m in the kitchen now, dear. Wearing an apron and crocheting and cleaning. About to make lunch. :-) But the question stands: what are women supposed to do? Not having children is vilified but so is having children.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 04:48 PM
–

Do you talk to people like this in real life?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 02:08 PM
–

Wait… is it trashy to be pregnant or is it our role as women? I’m so fucking confused!! :(
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 02:07 PM
–

The effects of plan B are so unpleasant. And it only works for women under 170 pounds.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 02:06 PM
–

Your resume and accomplishments and looks are impressive, but you’re more than those things. What are your values? How do you enjoy yourself? What do you love?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 01:36 AM
0

What if they had said yes? What would you have done? Gone on a date with a woman you don’t like? Or did you only ask them out to test your theory that you’ll always get rejected?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 01:35 AM
–

Maybe it’s about more than how you look on paper. Perhaps by trying to date women you don’t like you’re setting yourself up for failure. I hope things get better for you- love is out there 💗
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 01:06 AM
-1

No it’s actually relevant. Why would you try to date someone you don’t like? It’s a waste of everyone’s time.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 01:03 AM
2

So like when you call the women you want to date obese slobs, that would mean that you are being unkind.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 01:03 AM
0

Why do you ask out women you think so lowly of?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 12:50 AM
2

Anyone who is unkind and not thinking about what they’re saying to others is broken?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 12:47 AM
4

Perhaps the internet allows us to share thoughts more quickly without thinking about whether or not we’re being kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 11:01 PM
3

The most personal thing I found about you is that you’re single and don’t want your prostate stimulated. Good boy!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 11:25 AM
3

Give me an hour to read through your comment history and I could probably figure out a lot about you. Again, I go through records to find information for a living. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 10:55 AM
0

You’re online with me now. I found you! If I didn’t have the internet, I’d still find a way to find people. I’m on the historical society. I go through old newspapers to find out info about dead people as a hobby. Any amount of information would be deemed corruption for me… it’s why women used to go to the insane asylum for reading too many books. We were ruined by information!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 10:52 AM
2

Yup. But knowledge is power and showing up to a date with really good information about them allows you to feel pretty safe as a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 10:42 AM
4

I don’t date guys who have no footprint. If I can’t find you in a local newspaper where you’re from or if you have no traceable info, you’re dead in the water to me. Information is safety to a woman. If I have no information about you and I can’t get that information from you directly (last name, where you work, who you live with, people you know) I’m gonna assume you’re here to do a little pump and dump scheme or murder me. Sorry, just something for my own safety yknow. But I usually find guys’…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 10:32 AM
1

Wouldn’t this be the same for women? Like, if I read this dude beat his last girlfriend I wouldn’t wanna date him.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 12:07 AM
2

Women were also mostly locked out of large labor unions and thus had to organize their own labor. There is a rich storied tradition of women unionizing! https://www.afscme.org/member-resources/education-training/Women_in_Labor_History_Timeline.pdf
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 12:05 AM
2

Apologies. Anna T. Jeanes was a Quaker missionary who brought female teachers to the south. They could be paid less. Women’s wages have always been considered pocket change and women’s work was tedium. Women were paid less than men in mills. Read about the Lowell mill girls. There you are! feel free to check out the remedial herstory project based out of Plymouth state university in NH. It’s a shame that women are 50% of people yet so underrepresented in history and economics despite being the k…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 11:59 PM
2

Okay, maybe women just get paid less because they’re worse workers and men are better at competing and asking for things. Thank you sir! I’ll get back in the house and keep folding laundry. Have a great day.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 11:40 PM
2

Teaching used to be men’s work until southern states realized they could employ single women for less. Mills in New England were filled with children and women because they didn’t need to be paid as well as men. Computers used to be women who were hired to do tedious mathematical calculations. Now computer programming is a male dominated field. Men and women are treated differently for demanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 11:01 PM
4

And some of us girls have insane research skills. Before I even beginning talking to a random internet guy, I usually have researched their entire employment and personal history. I can sometimes even use GIS maps to figure out where they live and who their next of kin is!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 11:01 PM
3

People who think it’s okay to fuck over and lie to strangers confuse me. I’m kind to people even if I don’t know them. I wave strangers on in traffic. I give people directions when they ask. It usually is rewarded. People bring me plates of cookies and let me go first in line at the store when I only have a few items. I’m glad to live in a high trust community where I can leave my door unlocked. And if any strangers decide to try and fuck me over, I have a gun. lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 10:58 PM
10

Mhm. Lying and cheating is always easier than doing stuff honestly and morally. But having to maintain a web of lies is a pain in the ass and living honestly is pretty easy to keep track of.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 10:54 PM
3

Yeah, this is why I moved back home to a small town in northern New England. I like being held accountable for my actions. I like living in a place where everyone knows everyone because it’s a lot harder to act crazy to people and get away with it. Thank god.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 10:50 PM
1

Laws can change. Slavery used to be illegal but now it isn’t. We could mandate paternity testing if we wished to do so. I do not wish to do so.
/r/MensRights26/12/24 07:30 PM
2

Oh yeah, those are the traditional roles. But now the rules have changed so that men don’t have to be the sole breadwinner anymore. I think it’s nice that the pressure is off of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 10:32 AM
2

How are they different? How is loving a man different from loving a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 01:54 AM
5

What we want does look a lot different- but the principles of love, respect, commitment, and teamwork unite us. I don’t know exactly what the trade off is you’re implying- we just made a deal to spend the rest of our lives together as a team. We aren’t actively plotting on one another in order to upgrade partners per some of this stuff I read online. We aren’t fundamentally different species.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 01:11 AM
11

Do you think men and women truly have different goals in a relationship? That would mean dating is an adversarial game rather than a cooperative game. But I haven’t found that to be true. My long term partner and I both want the same thing: to be loved and cared for. Your gender doesn’t change that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 12:54 AM
1

And I hate that!!! I work hard to take everyone seriously regardless of who they are or what I’ve heard about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 11:18 PM
1

I confuse many people, so don’t feel crazy on that front. ;) I see the Pills as a wider view of gender and other social indicators. The dating part isn’t important to me. I don’t want to date lots of men- just my sweet shmoopy for the rest of my life. I know in most spaces, I’m desired for my brains and my enthusiasm. But in some spaces, where people don’t know me, my physical appearance precludes people from taking me seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 10:21 PM
6

There are probably people out there who hate me and are jealous. That’s okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 03:47 PM
3

Professionally and personally. In local politics and beyond I want to be taken as seriously as anyone else. Just because I’m pretty and can give birth doesn’t mean I can’t work hard and have ideas!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 12:22 PM
2

This isn’t about dating. This is about my value as a person. People tend to take my ideas less seriously because I’m a young woman- until I put the leg work in and prove that I’m more than just another pretty face. 😌 I have a cute and sexy lawyer in the front seat of my truck right now. He appreciates my mind as much as he does my beauty.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 12:16 PM
3

I don’t care about being liked- I care about being valued for my ideas!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 11:38 AM
1

I hate that!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 05:52 AM
2

https://www.tn.gov/historicalcommission/additional-historic-links.html 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m in New England but this seems like a good start.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 02:30 AM
2

I love the Russian Revolution! I think us working class folks have a greater appreciation for history. The past has tangible effects on our material realities. I definitely encourage you to join your local historical society- it’s my academic outlet in a rural area without a college nearby. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 02:20 AM
3

I absolutely love history and geography. Being able to relate to humans who lives hundreds of years ago is truly a gift. I’m an amateur, too. My degree is in human development and German- I just grew up listening to old guys’ stories and it stuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 02:10 AM
7

Yeah, I write curriculum and I’m on the board of my local historical society. I write original research!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 01:20 AM
3

The two are mutually exclusive?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 11:51 PM
8

Right. My mom is kinda flaky, so my dad stepped up. Other men have the option to do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 11:13 PM
10

The answer seems to be present, loving fathers. Most of my success can be attributed to my father’s unconditional love and support for me. 🫶🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 11:12 PM
–

It’s such a hard lesson to learn. I still struggle with it. I want to do everything and make everyone happy, but I just can’t. So sometimes I gotta practice my favorite short sentence and just say “no”.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 06:59 PM
–

According to who?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 06:58 PM
–

Correct. we are all human. Women often call men gay for rejecting them and men often call women fat and ugly for rejecting them. Neither gender is morally superior.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 06:47 PM
–

you’re allowed to say no to anyone for any reason. Including women!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 06:16 PM
20

It does suck knowing that no matter how smart or capable I am, my entire value is in my youth and looks. I want to be valued for my great works!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 06:12 PM
11

I’m demonstrating that saying people don’t feel pain the same way is dehumanizing to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 03:53 PM
4

A girl shot up a school last week. Boys do become strippers. They’re just not pushed into these roles from an early age. As a girl raised by a single father, I know a lot more about motors and manly things. It’s not because I’m naturally masculine- it’s because I learned from the person who modeled behavior to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 03:47 PM
3

All behavior is learned. If you leave a baby by itself for the first 5 years of its life, you would be appalled to learn just how much behavior is learned.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 02:22 PM
4

Once it’s women’s work it’s undignified and wages can be driven down.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 02:18 PM
3

Imagine if I as a woman made a post about how Incels were easier to trap in a marriage because they’re desperate for love.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 10:03 AM
1

Shrek is the perfect allegory here. Even us uggos deserve a fairy tale ending 💗
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 10:00 AM
11

Some medical textbooks still say Black folks don’t feel as much pain as us. Which is why the opiate crisis hit white communities so much harder- their pain was believed!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 09:59 AM
1

Men can find unconditional love in being fathers. My dad is my hero.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 10:25 AM
–

These poor unloved children out in the world… imagine being your parents’ battlegrounds. God. We can all agree that all of this is so unfair to the children, who did not ask to be born to people who can’t cooperate.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 09:27 PM
–

Don't men already leave their kids? Like, a major talking point about fathers is their absence from their children's lives. I'm so fortunate that wasn't my experience, but many children don't have fathers who love them and spend time with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 05:17 PM
3

For me, a high value man is a man who knows his values and acts accordingly. For many redpillers and shallow women it’s 6feet 6inches 6figures. Which is dumb lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 04:57 PM
1

Just because other people are one way doesn’t mean that I am. I don’t tolerate disrespect of any sort from anyone!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 04:38 PM
1

Who are these men and how do you know about their personal dating lives?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 12:03 PM
1

Do you think these pedophiles and rapists are admitting to these women their proclivities toward pedophilia and rape?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 11:40 AM
1

I don’t sleep with pedophiles or rapists. I sleep with my partner. He is kind and caring and a man of character. I also don’t see what’s so high value about rapists or pedophiles. I don’t think my values align with theirs.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 11:16 AM
5

Yes it does. If I see a man mistreat wait staff, children, his family, or a woman he’s not attracted to I lose interest immediately.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 10:58 AM
-3

The red pill is more ideology than knowledge.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 10:57 AM
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Damn no reason to be so mean about it But here ya go https://catdir.loc.gov/catdir/enhancements/fy0645/2004299561-s.html
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:33 AM
2

Many folks are comfortable lying. And I don’t necessarily blame them. I used to think I had to hide my true self from my dates because I was ashamed of myself. Once I figured out true love is based entirely on truth, I found someone who loves me for who I am- not for the self I’ve created to impress dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 01:56 AM
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I’m just offering information. My view is that democracy is imperfect rule by imperfect people. But the goal is to be more perfect. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 12:19 AM
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“To create loving men, we must love males. Loving maleness is different from praising and rewarding males for living up to sexist-defined notions of male identity. Caring about men because of what they do for us is not the same as loving males for simply being. When we love maleness, we extend our love whether males are performing or not. Performance is different from simply being. In patriarchal culture males are not allowed simply to be who they are and to glory in their unique identity. Their…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:36 PM
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The book is called The Will to Change.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:36 PM
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Correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:35 PM
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She condemns man-hating explicitly. You can think I’m wrong but I’m not changing my claim. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:19 PM
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So humans aren’t living longer than they were 100 years ago? I’m glad I don’t have to live like my family did two generations ago. My grandfather was illiterate because he had to leave school at the age of 8 to weld. I’m grateful I was able to continue my education.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:10 PM
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I don’t know what to tell you. It used to be that folks started working as soon as they could hold a shovel. Then we decided to send kids to school. Then we decided teenagers existed. Now we have emerging adulthood as a new developmental category. You can be upset, but this is what is studied in human development fields.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:07 PM
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She wrote a whole book about loving men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 10:58 PM
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Sounds good to me. Lifespans are lengthening and so are humans’ neonate periods.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 10:58 PM
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Yes. Every single person is different and developmental milestones are aggregations of all of those individual experiences. Like, most girls don’t get their periods until high school but I got mine when I was 10.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:51 PM
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Yes. No amendments are set in stone. You are correct. Progress is never a guarantee and we can always go back.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:49 PM
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Bell hooks!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:48 PM
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18 y/os didn’t get the right to vote in the US until the 26th amendment. Any anyway, all rights can be amended at any time if the will of the people is strong enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:46 PM
–

Prefrontal cortex isn’t fully formed until about 25.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:45 PM
–

This may change once you have a daughter. My father is 14 years older than my mother, but my father will threaten any boy or man who gets near to me, regardless of age. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:45 PM
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Fair enough. I can play by those rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 01:57 AM
–

So wait should men remain virgins until marriage too? If you’re consistent on that I rock with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 01:49 AM
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I reckon we’re allowed to look for different kinds of relationships in our lives just as men are. Like, if a man has had sex with other people in the past casually, nobody questions his ability to pair bond. You ever notice that? The men I hooked up in the past with didn’t get to hang out with my family all day every day or be the first person to try all my baked goods. My boyfriend now gets to do all that good stuff. The past isn’t super important because we’re here together now and have the re…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 01:18 AM
1

Men and women alike lie about being drawn to power. Who wants to look power hungry? Nobody. But nobody wants to be on the bottom of the shit pile, either. On the other side, who wants to admit their deep gnawing fears of being at the bottom of the power structure? Nobody. So we oppress others and climb power structures hoping to never be at the bottom. It’s not a man or a woman or a gay or a black or a hindu or anything else thing. It’s an essential element of the human condition. I’ll always ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 01:11 PM
9

Why are monks so chill then
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 11:40 AM
1

Perhaps the root cause of this all is that people of all ilk are drawn to power. Women with more power can do more harm than women with no power. Just as men with power can do great harm to society.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 11:39 AM
0

Yes! Bring back unions and pass paid parental leave for all!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 09:37 PM
2

Here’s my lottery dream…. I buy a big plot of land in my hometown and build houses for myself, my sister and my dad. We live the rest of our days raising our kids together and hanging out on the porch. I’d also create scholarship funds at both the schools I’ve taught at. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 10:39 AM
7

I dress for comfort more than anything else. Long skirts and cotton shirts. But yeah, my aesthetic choices aren’t necessarily made with other folks’ reactions in mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 10:36 AM
3

I’m glad you’re having a good time. I agree that it’s okay to be a nerdy gamer. Being who you are and liking yourself is a wonderful thing; finding your people- those who encourage you to enjoy your passions can be hard, but it’s certainly possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 02:43 AM
4

I think the gist of the OP is that if you wanna have a good time, you should be a good time. And I think that’s gender neutral overall tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 01:20 AM
1

it’s absolutely wild what things folks say in the hopes of being loved and cared for. It sounds like you were royally fucked over by your ex. I feel for you, man. I hope you find your people if you haven’t already. 💗
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 02:07 AM
2

Honestly, yeah. Some people are simply emotional black holes of negativity and hate and no amount of loving them and being kind can fill that it. It’s a hard realization to work through but so worthwhile, in my experience. All we can do is choose people who choose us and extricate ourselves from situations with people who feed off of negativity and hate.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 02:01 AM
8

You’re forgetting about the lens of subjective experience, my dear. I think science and empiricism are wonderful but even they’re guided by human whims. We humans decide what phenomena are worth studying and how we should study them. Empirical science looks the way it does because of arbitrary human choices we’ve locked into… even what we use to represent number systems isn’t absolute (think of Roman vs Arabic numerals, base 2 vs. 10). Science is a useful tool but you cannot find a universal tru…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 12:19 PM
7

The wrong person is anyone you’re not compatible with in the long term. Not necessarily someone bad. I’ve loved and been attracted to people who weren’t right for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 12:13 PM
3

I’m glad you found a successful relationship 💗 I was similar in my youth- very reluctant to permanently plant my flag anywhere. Very grateful I found someone who is patient and understanding and lets me take the lead.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 11:40 AM
3

So what I’m reading from this is that you’re not ready to settle down yet but the women you date perhaps are. Yeah, that makes it harder to have a successful relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 11:36 AM
16

Love and empiricism are very rarely in the same room together.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 11:30 AM
9

You can do everything right for the wrong person and the relationship will still be doomed. A relationship is a working partnership between two people. If the other person doesn’t want to be there, no amount of loving can change that.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 11:29 AM
0

Nothing comes naturally to us as humans- we come into the roles we rehearse and are given to us. As a young girl, I was taught to cook and clean and care for others. Young boys learn to go out and play and ignore what’s going on inside the house. This then makes sense when women go into the caring professions more and men go into construction more. It’s the role they’ve rehearsed. If we taught young men and boys to think of others more, they’re be more empathetic and caring in their adult lives.…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 10:41 PM
1

Only you can define for yourself who you empathize with, I suppose. Everyone’s circle of empathy has limits.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 09:02 PM
1

Yeah, you can ask someone what they’re thinking and what they want without having empathy. Empathy is a skill set you build by practicing it
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 07:53 PM
5

Men have inherent control of their emotions physiologically? Where did you hear that? Nobody is born knowing how to handle their emotions. It’s taught.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 06:46 PM
2

It’s not a man or woman thing- it’s a perspective-taking thing. If you’re able to think from someone’s perspective it’s a lot easier to try and figure out how to approach a conversation with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 06:44 PM
1

Cognitive empathy/game theory is my #1 method to effective communication. If I can think from someone’s POV it’s a lot easier for me to “speak their language”. Some people like solutions when they’re stressing, other people just need to be heard.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 06:43 PM
0

Oh damn I didn’t know I was pedantic and obsessive. I just clean the shit stains my dad leaves on the toilet and go about my day.
/r/MensRights06/12/24 07:43 PM
1

I do, too. I believe the division of labor should be equitable in a home. You and I probably agree on that. My bf and I take turns doing laundry.
/r/MensRights06/12/24 10:45 AM
0

You said that nobody asked for the second shift at home.
/r/MensRights06/12/24 10:43 AM
1

I know there are households with an equitable distribution of labor… I run one! I also know women who have been trying to get their husbands to take out the trash for years. lol
/r/MensRights06/12/24 07:40 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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