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theselfreliantman Archive

View 10 posts and 66 comments by theselfreliantman on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

There are men who try it themselves, and men who will watch their 20s and 30s go by because they read some comments from people online saying it doesn't work. My point is that does work, but that's actually irrelevant. Which type of man would you rather be? Nothing to lose, everything to gain! (Have approached hundreds, and some of my most beautiful experiences and hottest girlfriends have come from daytime approaching). Get after it man!
/r/seduction13/09/22 01:13 AM
1

Appreciate the comment! Iit's a reallly hard dynamic to describe, but you always know it when you feel it...
/r/seduction15/06/21 02:51 AM
2

For me the biggest thing is to force myself not to be picky, ESPECIALLY if i haven't approached a few girls already. I'd rather get into the flow with some girls i may not be super thrilled about dating first. The guys that 'only go for the stunners', spend 99% of their time walking around , then when they do see the 10 they rarely even approach. Drop the ego, the standards and go have a fun chat with the first average girl you see.
/r/seduction15/06/21 01:32 AM
8

There are some good comments here but i'll add my .02 as I REALLY struggled with this. It boils down to how accommodating your are of her feelings/mood/state. That's it man. It's the 'criteria' that women subconsciously use to put guys into the 'reliable' box and 'fun' box. Nice guys and boyfriends care deeply about what their lady is feeling and want to accommodate her. The bartender with tattoos she bangs does not really care about changing his behavior so she is more comfortable/happy/satisfi…
/r/seduction11/06/21 02:56 AM
3

I like your plan for building the habit, but 100 approaches in a day isnt how I'd look at it. Your goal should be a long interaction (same day date, then pull to your place) vs. Just meeting a ton of girls. In my experience yes numbers play a factor( you are correct about this) BUT it's the depth of interaction and length that are correlated to getting laid and dating awesome girls. For example, you say you'd want 100 sets in a day. That's about 90 blowouts and 10 short convos or numbers. No tim…
/r/seduction04/12/20 03:55 AM
3

You're looking at it the wrong way man, this new rule helps you out. Go meet for a drink, after hour 2 you 'have' to leave. Wheres the logical place to go? YOUR PLACE, where ideally you can make her some fancy coctails, have desserts etc. A rule like this literally pulls for you. Just have a good setup at your place.
/r/seduction01/12/20 11:10 PM
7

Engaging groups of girls is AMAZING for your game. At night it pumps you up and is excellent practice for being a captivating storyteller. The comments about 'well it's not that likely to pull from a group set' i say meh to. If you're out at night not EVERY GIRL you talk to should be for the explicit purpose of taking home and hooking up with. Groups do a few things , 1. they pump up your state (it feels great to be joking/laughing with a bunch of girls) 2. they up your social proof in the envir…
/r/seduction29/11/20 08:15 PM
1

great reply and thank you for the introspections!
/r/seduction18/11/20 03:12 AM
2

This is great copy! Nice writing man 👌
/r/seduction14/11/20 05:40 PM
1

If you're wondering whether or not those numbers are always going to be the case, they're not. As you improve you'll get a way higher percentage of girls at least texting back. I'd start focusing on what's actually going on in the interactions. If you REALLY want to value your time, record the sessions/interactions and censor/post them for feedback. I feel you on the volume, it's a tough time for doing a lot of approaching. You can up your numbers by approaching girls in groups (there's no rule …
/r/seduction14/11/20 03:25 AM
3

I'd say quality is the obvious choice... IF you are indeed approaching them. I have been out with a lot of guys (and am guilty of this myself occasionally) that 'quality' as an excuse not to approach what could be a great girl. Not saying that's you, but its something to be aware of. Volume is not only great for practice, its a great way to keep yourself from too much decision fatigue of 'should i meet her should i not'. But i get the 'not having the hunger' in the same way a horny 20 year old w…
/r/seduction14/11/20 03:19 AM
3

Biggest thing here is not to beat the crap out of yourself for not talking to a girl you liked. Yes, you should've. However it should also be clear that the negative reinforncement doesn't make you more likely to get her the next time. Best way to make a situation like this work is to already be in a social 'vibe'. Not always so easy in the gym but you can chat up anyone lifting between sets, give compliments, ask about their gear/technique, joke with the gym staff etc. The idea is that by the t…
/r/seduction14/11/20 02:58 AM
1

I wrote a MASSIVE post on this. It's pretty much been my go to framework for the last 18-24 months. Specifically as it applies to first/second dates. HOpe it helps! ​ https://theselfreliantman.substack.com/p/how-do-you-get-laid-from-dates-part-2-of-the-meeting-girls-guide-dates-physical-escalation-and-sex-on-the-first-date
/r/seduction13/11/20 07:43 PM
1

Thanks for the kind words brother!
/r/seduction14/04/20 08:53 PM
14

In my experience the reason why most guys (assuming you are social adjusted, and a cool dude already) aren't friends with a lot of attractive girls is either 1. they aren't comfortable around really hot girls or 2. they simply aren't meeting enough of them. Problem one can be solved over time by focusing on problem number two. So depending on your city you need to figure out how to get out and socialize with girls that meet your 'hot' criteria. The how will vary drastically depending on your per…
/r/seduction14/04/20 02:05 PM
1

This is a fantastic topic and thank you for the vulnerable and open post. You inspired my daily writing and I wrote post on this notion of 'losing interest' just now ​ https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/g15xys/why_you_lose_interest_so_quickly/ ​ For the record, we all struggle with this on some level. ​ -Bryce
/r/seduction14/04/20 01:56 PM
1

Much appreciated 🙏 glad it was helpful!
/r/seduction14/04/20 12:10 PM
1

Great one!
/r/seduction14/04/20 01:57 AM
1

I always say that if a girl is verbalizing something to you, it means you missed the non-verbal cue awhile ago. It's likely she's waiting on you to move the interaction forward. "Talking and teasing every now and then" sounds like directionless actionless nothing. If you like her what are you waiting on exactly? -Bryce
/r/seduction08/04/20 02:36 PM
1

Being in a new city solo is one of the best experiences of growth man. Enjoy it, don't judge yourself and get out there and chat up some girls!
/r/seduction13/03/20 04:28 PM
1

Appreciate it brother!
/r/seduction13/03/20 04:26 PM
1

Sadly you might be right...
/r/seduction13/03/20 04:26 PM
2

Haha that's probably an osmosis quote from watching Gary vee vids, but damn is it applicable!
/r/seduction12/03/20 11:48 PM
1

Haha easiest and most efficient way is to just pay for it brother!
/r/seduction12/03/20 07:22 PM
1

I'd have to agree in so many cases. Often times I thinking "man I really just liked your infield vids I'm not going to buy your business course' lol
/r/seduction12/03/20 06:48 PM
1

haha I disagree man! Its certainly not the best way, but it is better than anything else you are doing currently. Doesn't hurt to try it out, and then form your own opinions :)
/r/seduction06/03/20 11:16 PM
1

If you spent a year legitimately approaching (how many girls would you say?) then I'd hardly say that was time wasted! If you even say hello to enough girls you'll get laid and meet someone cool. Granted not the most efficient way of doing it but still. If you're seeing NO results then we should get into a little bit about you, your lifestlye, fashion etc. And excuse busting question time... how could you possibly be learning a new 'method' without approaching girls? Lol brother, it's not like y…
/r/seduction06/03/20 10:10 PM
2

Hey man, A few things jumped out at me from your post. The first being this concept of 'i need to train and improve and THEN i can get the girl'. Generally yes, you always want to be improving and working on stuff in your life. But you need to accept that you are plenty enough for some girls RIGHT NOW, and you should be meeting and dating them whenever possible. I see a lot of guys use 'not being ready' as an excuse to not put themselves out there and thus... not get rejected. You have to go for…
/r/seduction06/03/20 10:07 PM
1

great comment and great perspective. Thank you for sharing!
/r/seduction23/02/20 10:54 PM
9

Looks like you're just frustrated and don't respect yourself because you're afraid to approach. So you need to figure out how to approach... Lol. Either start small on your own (go ask for the time, where to find good coffee etc. ) Or find a coach that will force you to. Either way you need to take responsibility and figure out how to start approaching. Search on YouTube for approach anxiety there are plenty of resources
/r/seduction23/02/20 02:02 AM
4

You need to get out there and make some friends man. If you have none really then it's unlikely your social skills will be great and thus will make meeting girls harder. Where do you live that has nothing fun to do that's not drinking lol. Go to some meetups, join some rec sports teams. Go get some hobbies and meet people. All the pickup material in the world won't help unless you start meeting people doing things you're into. Just a thought! Hope it works out 😊
/r/seduction22/02/20 11:27 AM
1

Super low pressure texts to send. "Omg I swear I saw your evil twin downtown (or wherever) today " "Ok you were randomly in my dream lol hope you're well!" If the person wants to hear from you I guarantee they will respond and start up a chat. If not then oh well 😊
/r/seduction22/02/20 11:22 AM
3

I just wrote about this in a massive article hah you can read the whole thing if you want. But the gist of what you're asking, I say that it's not about 'trying' to sleep with her. It's about being open to the possibility and moving things towards that if it makes sense to (basically depending on her reactions to your escalation). You will not LOSE a girl on a first date by escalating slowly and then stopping if she's not having it. You might lose her anyway but it certainly won't be for physica…
/r/seduction22/02/20 11:19 AM
1

Sounds like an easy one, just send the message! This is also why I say it's important to have people on social media so you aren't 'forgotten' but if the chemistry was there I don't think it matters. Just a question of whether they are available/looking. Only one way to find out!
/r/seduction22/02/20 11:13 AM
1

🙏🙏🙏
/r/seduction22/02/20 11:08 AM
2

Post up what you've been thinking about man! That's what the community is for 💪
/r/seduction22/02/20 11:06 AM
2

Try to find condoms that are desensitizing. But physically you can practice man. There are better written articles on this but generally when you jerk off, as you get close to finishing stop completely until you are less aroused. Then repeat over and over. You need to be aware of when you're about to nut and be able to back off. Then just practice that all the time. Don't ever jerk off 'quickly'
/r/seduction22/02/20 09:54 AM
2

https://gifjuks.tumblr.com/post/89175953927/who
/r/seduction22/02/20 09:44 AM
2

Yes options abound! Dick is as free as tap water. No argument there. Fortunately for us, bold approaches in person still seem to separate you from the mass mass amount of dudes in her DMs and tinder. Few girls daydream about meeting a great guy on tinder... many more dream about a chance encounter with a sexy stranger at a cafe. I guess she's not lonely for lack of male sexual attention, she's lonely for lack of the attention/connection she really wants. What do you think?
/r/seduction22/02/20 09:42 AM
2

she probably wouldn't. But then again she might. Point of the post is that you never really know where she's at until you try :)
/r/seduction22/02/20 09:38 AM
5

Truth! As guys we tend to think getting a girl to cum is all about technique. But really you could be the best 🍑 eater in all the world and it won't matter if she's too self conscious to relax and enjoy it. Be patient with us, we are still learning 😊
/r/seduction22/02/20 07:29 AM
21

Definitely! It can be lonely and isolating for a lot of girls. Our job is to be the normal guy that treats them like a person 👌
/r/seduction21/02/20 10:29 PM
3

😘😘 thanks bro
/r/seduction21/02/20 10:28 PM
78

Yeah it's absurd. We should all be trying to make the world as slutty of a place as possible lol
/r/seduction21/02/20 10:27 PM
1

There are some coaches out there actually, best i've seen is hayley quinn https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyA6r3k8zMF2axgxVz-qTMA
/r/seduction18/02/20 10:57 AM
1

If she knows she's into you do two things: One, communicate you realize she's at work and its not the time for a lengthy chat or to overtly hit on her (infront of coworkers, boss, customer etc.) Give her an easy wya to get your contact. ​ This literally one of the only reasons I still carry a business card around, because sometimes like you said the vibe is there but she's not in a place to have a chat or even punch her number into your phone. SHe's working, customers/co-workers would see it and…
/r/seduction16/02/20 05:35 AM
9

hey man, Good for you acknowledging the need to get out there and be more social. It's tough in high school if you already are branded as a loner or someone who is socially odd. BUt it's not impossible. ​ My first thought for you is you need to learn how to just be a social kid and talk to people and make friends. My second thought for you is to forget about the girls you have a crush on right now. Learning social interaction is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT for you right now, you'll never 'get the gir…
/r/seduction12/02/20 02:39 AM
1

That's too high of a percentage of immediate boyfriends rejections. Something else is off with your approach. things to reconsider. Your style/fashion - what are you dressing like Where you're approaching girls - does it make sense? How are you stopping them/approaching them? ​ For a girl to instantly say it generally means your approach was bad/creepy, your style is so far out of line with what she's into, or you physically are just not her thing. Yes some of them have boyfriends, but the vast …
/r/seduction10/02/20 11:03 AM
3

How about 'Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On it' first? Super quick read. Implement it and report back :)
/r/seduction10/02/20 10:58 AM
1

cheers brother!
/r/seduction10/02/20 10:55 AM
2

Zan is legit in my opinion. I love how he speaks and writes. ​ He is NOT a pick up dude. He will show you and teach you to appreciate the beauty in women (which helps you date women, duh) . He's a master of 'dropping the agenda' something that many of us *cough* struggle with in our pick up pursuits ;) And Zan is pretty much the guy that he writes about lol go see him speak in Europe.
/r/seduction10/02/20 10:54 AM
2

I've actually worked with and know many of them personally. The bottom line is if you don't have/make a lot of cash then 10k for a workshop is not going to be worthwhile. I'd say if 10k is the majority of your net worth, don't even bother with workshops yet. Yes you can learn the 'technique' from books/youtube. Study up and if you can get yourself to implement then i say go it alone. I approached and went out for months before working with pro's. You work with pro's to cut your learning curve (i…
/r/seduction10/02/20 10:51 AM
2

Then you gotta practice bro! Do you have any girls yo're sleeping with/dating now? You need to get comfortable ramping up the sexuality and holding her gaze/intensity. If not, maybe consider workshops to help with this as it's not so much 'how to' as it is a shift in your internal values around sexuality.
/r/seduction10/02/20 08:56 AM
2

Easiest thing here in my opinion is just ask the use her bathroom really quick. Be cool and respectful about it (you're not tricking her) and read her body language. If she hesitates, says ok, then lets you in and stands by the door (or keeps her shoes on) then probably don't linger and just say goodnight. In my experience most girls will be like 'cool' then walk in ahead of you, kick off their shoes and go sit on the couch. Or even offer you a drink. Then it's all good.
/r/seduction10/02/20 08:55 AM
2

I mean i guess it really depends on the vibe you're going for when you're dating these girls. If you want things to turn sexual, you need to figure out how to create an open and accepting of sexuality vibe. For me, the easiest way to do this is.... talk about sex. And the easiest way to do THAT, is to start with funny/embarrassing stories. I'm not a fan of this paradigm that you should hide the fact you've dated other girls, as long as you talk about them anonymously and in a positive light! Not…
/r/seduction10/02/20 08:53 AM
1

Bro if you like latinas take salsa classes (they will be there too). Usually cities have free/cheap ones around as events on a weekly basis. Maybe not in a small kansas town but worth looking. If not, get on youtube and search salsa lessons there are tons of free videos. Then commit to practicing hours and hours in your room while watching vids. I
/r/seduction10/02/20 01:20 AM
1

I've been thinking about putting together an accountability group/community for guys actually out there implementing and improving. Message me if you're interested.
/r/seduction10/02/20 01:15 AM
2

Sounds like an issue of intent. You may be getting phone numbers but under what pretense? Maybe your 'dates' the girls don't see as such. Try verbalizing your intents when you approach and see if your results change at all. Are you stopping them and asking for directions? Or are you saying WOW YOU'RE FUCKIN SEXY, what's your name. The latter is NOT the most effective way to pick up girls on the street of course lol, but it would be an interesting exercise for you as it'd force your hand in terms…
/r/seduction10/02/20 01:12 AM
1

This is where the magic of instagram comes into play. Add her on there (hopefully you have a decent profile) and you can maintain interest/awareness of you via IG stories, and short quick replies over months until you're in the same city again. I travel year round and this is how i keep girls at least somewhat interested until i'm in their city again.
/r/seduction09/02/20 11:58 PM
1

Flirting in professional setting unfortunately can't get too sexual (verbally/physically) at least. Eye contact when done properly ocmmunicates all of this, and can be used to put on pressure in a delicious way. Example would be like: You: Hey! How was your weekend, whatd you get up to? Her: ah it was fun! went out for my friends birthday saturday night, sunday was rough lolz You: Pause, flirty smile, good eye contact. Did you behave yourselves? Her: (this is her openeing to be sexy/flirty(, but…
/r/seduction14/11/19 04:55 PM
1

This brings up a super interesting point(s) There are plenty of women who NO MATTER WHAT will NEVER meet a guy during the day on a traditional 'approach'. Facts of life gents, just like there are some women that would never go home with a guy from a bar they just met. This doesn't mean you should stop approaching girls you like. Similar concept to the above point, just because there are plenty of women out there who wouldn't have a one night stand at a bar does NOT mean you should stop going to …
/r/seduction14/11/19 04:47 PM
2

Best way to initiate this over text. You: "I had the hottest dream about you last night..." Her (if she's into it): TELL ME Then you can text her some dominant shit about what you want to do to her and it's framed properly and not 'out of the blue'.
/r/seduction12/11/19 10:40 AM
4

Consistency over time is more valuable than most people want to admit when it comes to seduction. It's branding/marketing like anything else, the more times you see a brand logo the more familiarity/trust it builds. As for her sudden 'warm up' to you. It's less likely something YOU DID and more likely a change within her. We tend to forget that a lot of results when it comes to women are out of our control (and it's how she's feeling, where she's at in life, who she's dating currently etc.) So m…
/r/seduction12/11/19 10:30 AM
2

In my opinion, if you're on a first date you should always be trying to kiss the girl. She may not want to on the first date (rare) even if she likes you, but you still need to lead the interaction forward and escalate. If she doesn't like it (turns cheek etc.), then acknowledge it, back off and be casual until it makes sense to try again.
/r/seduction08/11/19 01:51 PM
5

Do NOT break the touch barrier at work. What's your vibe together? If she's flity/inviting at work then the best move is to set up a time to hang out outside of work (preferrably not after-work drinks) and THEN you can escalate if it makes sense to.
/r/seduction08/11/19 01:39 PM
1

Well it's not likely you've communicated any intent (romantically/sexually etc.) with your friendly little chats as she works there and thus is going to be friendly towards most all customers... So with that said your best bet is either turn the conversational frame with her more towards flirting your next interaction and see how she responds OR Invite her to something casual that would require you to get her phone number/instagram. Ideally something that's been a theme of your conversations. If…
/r/seduction08/11/19 11:59 AM
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