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threaddew Archive

View 0 posts and 64 comments by threaddew on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

When an entire society is assholes to a specific group of people for a long time and it has an adverse effect on that group of people…. Are you just opposed to assigning a name to this? You’re not actually addressing what I’m talking about. Enforced gender roles are bad. Telling generation after generation of men that they’re only valuable for their income or that they have no right to express their emotions is bad (because of traditional male roles). This is not just individuals being assholes.…
/r/MensRights11/01/22 09:22 PM
0

What exactly do you mean by this? You don’t think that enforced traditional gender norms are harmful to men? That seems sort of antithetical to the sub. I’m all for abolishing the term itself but the concept is a big problem for men.
/r/MensRights11/01/22 08:59 PM
0

What exactly do you mean by this? You don’t think that enforced traditional gender norms are harmful to men? That seems sort of antithetical to the sub. I’m all for abolishing the term itself but the concept is a big problem for men.
/r/MensRights11/01/22 08:58 PM
-1

I generally avoid the term, because its inherently sexist and implicitly blames men, but the idea of toxic masculinity - which is just enforced male gender norms - definitely exists and is very harmful to men.
/r/MensRights09/01/22 11:43 AM
-20

Toxic masculinity is fucking awful and is absolutely perpetuated by women and men.
/r/MensRights09/01/22 04:24 AM
-4

I feel like you haven’t been on this subreddit very long, that’s unfortunately a very common sentiment around here.
/r/MensRights03/01/22 06:09 AM
1

I think the explicit point of my post is to point out that we’re allowed to form our own opinions and debate those opinions in cases where there isn’t enough evidence to convict one way or the other. It’s just wrong to convict based on those opinions. Tbh this gets away from what I was really trying to say, which is boiling “believe all women” down to “convict all men” is straw manning, but that the phrase “believe all women” is deeply flawed/problematic for exactly that reason.
/r/MensRights20/08/21 11:34 PM
0

There’s a big difference between “in over 80% of cases there wasn’t enough to convict” and “in over 80% of cases were have no idea what happened” I think believe all women is a bad concept and can be dangerous in practice, but also that rape is very common and most of these women ARE telling the truth. But the fact that most of them are telling the truth is not a reason to assume that all of them are, that’s asinine. My impression is that the “believe all women” thing (at least when used in good…
/r/MensRights20/08/21 09:18 PM
2

I actually thing they were trying to appeal to men, they just failed spectacularly.
/r/MensRights07/03/21 08:47 PM
2

I could maybe at least entertain the argument if they were doing what you’re doing and saying it’s a human problem. I still disagree, but I could at least listen. I certainly know people of both genders who behave like you’re saying. But they’re not, they’re making it a gendered issue specifically about healthy male-male relationships harming women, who are apparently harmed if they can’t maintain a monopoly on the role. It’s a very different argument than the one you’re making.
/r/MensRights24/12/20 12:37 AM
14

It really reads like one. The conclusions they are drawing from what sounds like potential helpful data are just crazy. Talk about coaching data to fit a narrative. It’s unbelievably blatant.
/r/MensRights23/12/20 03:39 PM
14

This article is so insanely sexist. No surprise I guess. The conclusions of the research are actually extremely helpful - ie that many men view their heterosexual romantic relationships as largely transactional, where they are constantly posturing and being judged by their ability to fulfill restrictive gender roles. But the conclusion that men finding an alternative, more healthy relationship - healthy relationships with other men- is bad because it hurts women is insane. Let’s maintain the sta…
/r/MensRights23/12/20 03:38 PM
3

These analogies really illustrate the point well, thanks.
/r/MensRights21/12/20 03:43 AM
2

Yeah, I think we’re agreeing conceptually, and I’m coming around to where you are in practice. I just also think it’s important to discuss the concept that toxic masculinity supposedly is supposed to address - restrictive gender norms - even if the term itself has become or always was sexist.
/r/MensRights20/12/20 09:17 PM
2

Yeah I think you’re spot on. It’s a super important concept, but toxic masculinity is just a bad term for it because of how easy it is to misuse it to abuse men. I’m leaving the term behind. I still suspect that most of the men who say it’s sexist don’t know what the term is actually referring to, but that only further underlines how bad of a term it is.
/r/MensRights15/12/20 01:40 AM
-2

Even if that were verifiably true, your lack of desire to meaningfully engage instead of attacking someone in your aggressively determined out - group shows that you aren’t really interested in MRA, just in shit talking people you disagree with (which appears to me to be just about everyone). And don’t worry, I won’t waste my time by trying to find common ground with you anymore.
/r/MensRights15/12/20 01:33 AM
9

I agree. I’m switching to “restrictive gender norms”.
/r/MensRights15/12/20 01:28 AM
-2

It's frustrating to me that you're so much concerned with being toxically antagonistic of someone you disagree with than with trying to engage. That you'd rather cast doubt on my "loyalty" and imply that I'm some sort sort of "feminist spy" that talk to me about what I originally commented on. How is that productive? How does that further MRA ideas?
/r/MensRights14/12/20 10:22 PM
7

I hear you. I think the problem is with the term toxic masculinity itself. Its at best misleading, at worst intentionally so.
/r/MensRights14/12/20 09:37 PM
4

Absurd that this is even considered to be anything other than sexism against men, if its universal. I think I could potentially see limited applicability of this in the forms of tax breaks for men or women working in fiends that are dominated by the opposite gender. I would have a hard time seeing that level of equality made into one of these progressive laws, but it would be encouraging.
/r/MensRights14/12/20 09:16 PM
1

I just think there is a lot of room for MRA's between toxic feminism and thegreenpill, and there are a lot of toxic users on this sub who think that anyone not swallowing thegreenpill is a secret feminazi.
/r/MensRights14/12/20 09:13 PM
12

That's not what toxic masculinity means though. Toxic masculinity exists only as juxtaposition against helpful, positive masculinity - its not saying that all masculinity is toxic, but that some societally (because men and women enforce toxic masculinity) enforced concepts about what masculinity is/should be are toxic. The things about being a man that we love and take pride and strength from, rather than the bullshit standards we are told to expect from ourselves (I think the best examples are …
/r/MensRights14/12/20 09:10 PM
-1

Reddit is not the only internet forum. You don't to be a Green Pill frequenter to be a Men's Rights Activist. Your insistence that you do, and that all feminists are toxic liars, is net harmful to the MRA cause.
/r/MensRights14/12/20 09:01 PM
3

There should really be a formal review of all her preceding cases that could have been similarly effected, and some sort of evaluation of her capacity to perform such duties in the future. The judicial system is broken.
/r/MensRights14/12/20 08:48 PM
0

This is a perfect example of my original point, and its more than a little disturbing that you don't see it as such. Anyone with concerns about the sub is a false flag? I think its fair to acknowledge that the majority of my scant posts in the sub are "meta" posts about the quality of the sub - but I hate the no true scotsman bullshit that that makes me some sort of "traitor" because I think we should be introspective and self audit. I come here because I am frustrated with how men are treated a…
/r/MensRights14/12/20 08:38 PM
11

Yeah I don’t think I realized this until you pointed it out. Personally, I use toxic masculinity to refer to a specific type of sexism toward men, that is perpetrated by both/all genders. It conveniently allows you to avoid using the word sexism though.
/r/MensRights14/12/20 05:14 PM
5

I’ve participated in feminist forums a decent amount and have not always been universally received well but have not been banned. I’ve also seen lots of anecdotes of people in this sub complaining about being band on 2X or whatever and you Read the post that was banned it was a deliberately inflammatory troll post. I don’t think this is a universal experience. I agree this sub is generally open to dissent, which is a positive indicator.
/r/MensRights14/12/20 04:25 PM
-1

I strongly agree with your second response, people unwilling to criticize women or analyze social dynamics in a way that points out victimization if men at the hands of women are being wholly unrealistic/unproductive/ are just wrong. I just see the reverse on this thread a lot (men unwilling to admit that women are ever or have ever been disadvantaged because of their gender) and it makes me uncomfortable. I agree with your first point in so far as I agree that social movements that don’t make p…
/r/MensRights14/12/20 04:15 PM
51

I love the idea of MRA and support fellow men, but From spending time on this sub it feels to me like the MRA movement suffers from the same problem that the feminist movement suffers from - it struggles with distancing itself from the very vocal minority of members who take its views to the far extreme, often resulting in open antagonism. It’s tough, because the point of the sub is to support men, which frequently takes the form of pointing out the struggles that men face, often because of syst…
/r/MensRights14/12/20 03:52 PM
20

Exactly. She is equating reasonable concerns that men have about their rights with absurd conspiracy theories as if these theories are all coming from the same uniform group of people. It’s absurd. Just because there are crazy incels who hate women doesn’t mean men’s rights activists don’t have anything worth discussing.
/r/MensRights13/11/20 08:43 PM
-21

Dude, is this a joke? I can’t believe I still see this shit on this sub. Women literally couldn’t vote. They couldn’t own property. Subjective discussions about societal roles are interesting, and deserve to be discussed (not shouted down by people like the women who wrote the article referenced by OP) but the idea that women were not historically repressed relative to men is an absurd conspiracy theory. Absolutely gender roles have and still do limit men’s agency, freedom of expression, etc. Bu…
/r/MensRights13/11/20 08:40 PM
6

This kind of post is exactly why they hate our sub dude. Heard fucking sucks as a human. There’s a good point to make without being deliberately insulting. Trolling is not the answer.
/r/MensRights07/11/20 11:39 PM
3

I have definitely seen this too, but I think you have to always rationalize shit into a “it’s the internet” category in your head. Most people I meet don’t identify as feminists, but would if you explain it as just equality between sexes, and won’t if you explain it as women reigning over men.
/r/MensRights31/10/20 02:25 AM
8

Which is not to say that it’s bad to mentor women voluntarily, or whatever. Just that it’s not owed.
/r/MensRights30/10/20 06:36 PM
23

Agree. I have seen my fair share of incel-type comments in this sub, and they usually start off with a barrage of upvotes and then get buried over time. I feel like the majority of the sub is very realistic and positive, including towards women, but I think we have to be vigilant about that. Just as they should be.
/r/MensRights30/10/20 06:34 PM
1

I mostly agree with you, but I think they would accurately make that statement about this sub too, exactly because of posts like this. I just want us to be on the right side of that line.
/r/MensRights29/10/20 10:17 PM
2

My point isn’t “there’s nothing wrong with that Two C chromosomes post”. It’s “why are talking about this two X chromosomes post?” The dog whistle argument is a good one - but the referenced post is such a bad example for that argument. The guy sounds like an ass, and I support the person sticking up for themselves by refusing to be interrupted. I also don’t have a problem with women supporting each other, and want men to be able to support each other similarly without being looked down upon. I …
/r/MensRights29/10/20 08:17 PM
-6

I’m definitely not denying that there are sexist comments in that thread just like there are sexist comments in every thread in this entire sub. But it’s not fair to attribute sexist comments to the OP or the entire sub.
/r/MensRights29/10/20 05:45 PM
-6

I think this is a deliberately negative interpretation. I think men and women should be treated equally but are never the less very different, and it’s silly to pretend that they have the same strengths and weaknesses, even on average. Obviously, this is nuanced, and there will never be a time when we don’t need to stop and think and interpret. That said, it’s normal to feel alone in an environment where you are unique/different. I don’t think she’s necessarily feeling like she needs to exert he…
/r/MensRights29/10/20 05:33 PM
-5

Yeah, I see what you're saying. Posts like this just really reach into the problem I have with this sub sometimes. I want to be on this sub because I feel like there are specific issues facing men that are completely ignored by our society, which has gone way out of its way to address the disadvantages women face - that extra attention may be warranted, historically, but that doesn't make mistreating men justifiable, or that we should ignore injustice when it affects men because of our gender. S…
/r/MensRights29/10/20 03:38 PM
38

I don’t understand this post. I don’t have a problem with the way either of these sentences reads. As long as you’re polite but firm, correcting someone who is interrupting you constantly is massively satisfying. Making up a theoretical scenario assuming that there would hypothetically be a problem if the sexes were reversed does not seem productive to the MRA cause.
/r/MensRights29/10/20 02:09 PM
20

I think it’s better that we don’t have exclusive groups - but it definitely has to be equal across the board.
/r/MensRights24/10/20 03:08 PM
3

I appreciate that and didn’t really think you did. Just wanted it to be in the thread. Way too much of taking the anti-men approach that some feminists take and using it as an excuse to be anti-woman in this sub.
/r/MensRights27/11/19 05:23 PM
4

Copying them is not the solution.
/r/MensRights27/11/19 03:17 PM
3

I don’t like the term toxic masculinity, but I don’t think the concept holds that it is only enforced my men - it’s a shitty societally held concept of what men are supposed to be that is enforced by both genders.
/r/MensRights20/10/19 01:22 PM
10

This is absurd. You don’t have to pretend like women have never been oppressed to feel like men get the short end of the stick now. Or even that women are not still oppressed.
/r/MensRights07/09/19 03:16 PM
1

Agree on the condoms. And, no I don’t do that. So by your logic, some crazy guy says they think women shouldn’t be able to vote, and then tells you he’s a member of the democrat party, you’re going to go around saying “the left things women can’t vote”....you can’t represent “the left” by arguments you’ve heard sporadically that only represent small minorities.
/r/MensRights25/05/19 06:36 PM
1

The left thinks that? I consider myself pretty left leaning and I’ve never heard that argument before. You should be careful throwing around phrases like “the left thinks”. Maybe “I’ve heard the argument that...”. Regardless, it’s a shared responsibility? I agree. And birth control isn’t cheap - that’s a shared cost as well. I would say each party has the responsibility to protect themselves both by providing protection and by being informed.
/r/MensRights24/05/19 10:17 PM
1

The left thinks that? I consider myself pretty left leaning and I’ve never heard that argument before. You should be careful throwing around phrases like “the left thinks”. Maybe “I’ve heard the argument that...”. Regardless, it’s a shared responsibility? I agree. And birth control isn’t cheap - that’s a shared cost as well. I would say each party has the responsibility to protect themselves both by providing protection and by being informed.
/r/MensRights24/05/19 10:16 PM
3

You’re not totally wrong here but “allow for unprotected sex” is a bullshit phrase. Both parties are responsible. Thats what we’re fighting for here.
/r/MensRights24/05/19 02:21 PM
1

Like literally anything. Occupation, work ethic, ethnicity, religion, politics, whatever.
/r/MensRights09/03/18 06:07 PM
1

I think it makes sense to get away from that in an era when we’re trying to identify through measures other than sex and gender.
/r/MensRights09/03/18 05:53 PM
1

I could get on board with that. People love silly celebrations though.
/r/MensRights09/03/18 05:49 PM
1

There’s a big difference between being passionate and being an asshole. One involves using strong verbiage, excited terms, harsh examples. The other involves name calling. You’re literally including an ad hominem at the end of every one of your replies. “Dear woman types” - seriously?
/r/MensRights09/03/18 04:08 PM
1

You’re generalizing here - but I do agree with some of what you’re saying. The goal of feminism and the MR movement has to be for equality, and that absolutely means fixing situations where women are receiving preferential treatment legally. I agree that the way rape/consent laws are written and handled is a great example of this. I think toxic masculinity is a great example of my view on the problem with feminism. Toxic masculinity is a real sociological thing - there are real male norms of beh…
/r/MensRights09/03/18 03:42 PM
1

Anecdotes can’t define a movement as long lasting and wide reaching as feminism. I agree that there are people out there doing bad things in the name of feminism, a lot of them, and that men are mistreated as a result. It’s why I’m here. I refuse to allow those people to define feminism, and I don’t believe that they are the majority of that movement. Look dude, the way you talk about these things has a big impact on how convincing you are. You should be ashamed of how toxic you are, that was in…
/r/MensRights09/03/18 03:22 PM
2

I think the fact that celebrating men is offensive to people is ridiculous, and great example of the problem. IMD should be a thing. Just as IWD is a thing.
/r/MensRights08/03/18 11:58 PM
2

You putting a long explanation into what you think “real feminism” is doesn’t make you any more correct. I’m sorry that you have such a toxic opinion, you should try to be more positive if this is something you really care about - that’s how progress is made. We agree there are issues in how men are treated, I just also believe that sexism against women is real, and that attacking feminists (even the bad minority) is not helpful.
/r/MensRights08/03/18 11:57 PM
2

Because were are part of society. There are men out there doing what Weinstein did (mostly to much lesser levels, but it’s still happening). We have a responsibility yes to not behave that way ourselves, but also to acknowledge and condemn those who are sexist and racist assholes. And there are a ton of them. I disagree that it’s a bigger problem, but that’s a fine point that isn’t worth arguing in my opinion. We can walk and chew gum at the same time.
/r/MensRights08/03/18 08:18 PM
1

I disagree. I think people translate the way they see famous people in the news to how they interpret people doing the same things around them. A good example of this is the wave of culturally accepted xenophobia in the wake of the trump presidency. Yes, I absolutely agree that men shouldn’t be punished for Weinstein’s sins (other than him, and he hasn’t yet), but I do think people look to cases like that to establish societal norms about what’s ok and what’s not ok. I would also argue against t…
/r/MensRights08/03/18 07:52 PM
0

They don’t represent us, no, but the way that prominent and famous people are treated for stuff like this does a lot to establish the culture through which normal men are viewed for their actions. Acting like there are no problems with the way that men treat women is absurd and detracts from your argument (which I agree with) that there are problems with the way that women/society view men as a whole.
/r/MensRights08/03/18 07:11 PM
2

As a man and generally a fan of this sub, this is totally inaccurate and represents the sad part of what you see here. Yeah, there are bad feminists. Yes those feminists have had an unfortunate and undeniable impact on the way that movement is perceived. That doesn’t mean that the core of the feminist movement and the issues they fight against are not real. Arguing that sexism against women doesn’t exist is just as absurd (probably moreso, but at least equally) as arguing that sexism against men…
/r/MensRights08/03/18 07:07 PM
1

I think it is institutional here too, though to a lesser degree than in most of the world. And it exists for both genders, even if men are somewhat privileged compared to women - to me this sub is about acknowledging that it’s not a completely one sided issue.
/r/MensRights08/03/18 07:04 PM
2

It’s the top of controversial...... Those people do post here, but they’re not the only ones, and it’s not what the sub strives to be about.
/r/MensRights08/03/18 07:02 PM
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