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View 1 posts and 133 comments by threedotlove on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
838

FDS HUMORthreedotlove/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 12:30 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
35

The entirety of male lives revolves around other men. They live to impress men. Male interactions are somewhat homoerotic in nature, and with sexuality as fluid as it is, I really wouldn't doubt that a lot of men harbor secret affections/attractions to other men. However, toxic masculinity of course teaches this is bad, so the closest they can get is to coerce women into fulfilling the role.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:21 PM
47

I read an article not too long ago I believe from the UK that stated more and more young girls (teenagers) are being diagnosed with anal tearing, etc., from being pressured into anal sex. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:19 PM
3

My biggest takeaway was that an organization like MenCare exists. That was pretty nice to discover.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:31 PM
45

I used to prescribe to the 'not all men' mindset HARD. I believed all men were inherently good without question. Do you know what it got me? Almost every single one of those men either sexually harassed me, molested me, r*ped me, told me they could r*pe me if they wanted to, forced themselves on me, stalked me, sent me threatening messaged, mentally or emotionally abused me, yelled at me when I tried to enforce boundaries, shit-talked me behind my back, and generally treated me like an object. E…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:14 PM
183

"Strong, Independent Woman' is code for 'I don't want to have to put any effort in as a partner.' imo. These are always men who are lazy, inattentive, emotionally stunted, and selfish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 06:40 PM
6

I talked to my doctor - I believe in Canada it is approved up to 45 yrs of age, and they are working on getting it approved (for insurance purposes) in America up to the same age. But right now you can get it in America but it may cost you $400-$700 etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:51 PM
7

Me neither until my doctor told me. I looked it up & she is correct, so now I make sure to let people know because I don't think it is a well-known fact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:49 PM
26

PSA: I always pop into these threads to quickly mention that HPV can come from any membrane to membrane contact, so not just PIV / anal / oral sex, but also french kissing. When I was diagnosed with a ton of cancer causing strains (I was never vaccinated because my parents didn't believe in the vaccine), I asked my doctor how I could have gotten it because I wasn't sexually active for years - all I did was make out with strangers a lot in clubs. She said that was likely the cause and that most w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 02:26 PM
84

This was my last narc ex. He didn't love me, but I was 'the hottest girl he had ever dated' so he kept me around for the sex until I demanded more from the relationship & he decided it was too much effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 07:09 PM
10

I'm 32 and coming to the same realization. I'm not one for marriage, but I thought having a long term partner would be wonderful. I 100% commit myself to any relationship I am in, but men in my age range who are also CF and don't care for marriage are usually commitment-phobes and emotionally unavailable, so even if they stick around for a while, they treat me like a FWB rather than a partner. My last relationship broke me so badly that honestly I'm not sure I even want to try again, especially …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:25 PM
198

And on the other end, the CF men (that I encounter at least) in their 30s/40s are perpetual man children who lack the ability to commit to anything. We just can't win.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 12:23 AM
8

My friends kept their mouths shut and only approached me after to tell me how much of a narcissist he was. After that, I swore I would never, ever, keep my mouth shut about what I think about my friends' partners because I would have loved for someone to try and help me in my darkest moments. If my narc ex had never broken up with me, I would have kept on allowing myself to be used as a fleshlight alternative in a BDSM bedroom, kept crying myself to sleep every night, kept suffering anxiety atta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 03:36 PM
2

I have a feeling since narc men don't understand love, they find it upsetting that they just can't logically understand a woman's love for children or pets. Especially since that love takes her attention away from them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 12:23 AM
86

I think of it as if he was approaching me in real life. Just a 'hey' or 'hi sexy' or 'nice smile' gets an immediate block from me. A huge opening paragraph is also a turnoff. I'm not buying a boyfriend - you don't need to give me a sales pitch immediately. Something simple like: "Hi! Nice to meet you. I'm (insertnamehere) and I saw you like hiking in your profile. Been anywhere unique lately?" It shows he read my profile + he asked a question to prompt a conversational response from me. This is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 06:47 PM
22

- Unwashed tech boys with dad bods and giant scraggly beards - Country boys from the 'school of hard knocks' who love to shoot things and pose with corpses - Weed & alcohol addicted frat bros with giant egos in their mid 30s-40s who still live with roommates AKA perpetual manchildren.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 05:35 PM
155

I've always felt far more comfortable and happy and successful when single, which is why after every relationship I stay single for 4-5 years until the next one. That being said, after finding FDS a few months ago, my standards are so high now that I'm not sure any man will qualify to take up my time & I am 100% alright with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 05:20 PM
3

Ok so I agree with you, but she is specifically talking about women who know their relationship is terrible but they stay because they don’t want to be alone. Not women who are trapped. I had a girlfriend who was this type of woman - she purposefully stayed in a toxic relationship with a NVM simply because she was ‘getting old & really wanted kids & time was running out.’ She would readily admit her bf was trash & that she was miserable, and she would tell me she was leaving him constantly, but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 03:27 PM
44

Yup! Happened to me at 18-20! I was with my Ex-fiance & was just not interested in sex with him at all. But when I meet someone I am interested in, I want it 2-3x a day (have yet to find a man who can keep up too 🤷🏻‍♀️)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 02:59 PM
28

Everything my ex ever did was predictable. I knew what presents he got me, what dates he was taking me on, etc bc he was unimaginative & I am exceptionally perceptive (in everything BUT sussing out LVM but I am learning lol).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:30 PM
142

I have heard this from multiple men - two even told me to my face ‘I could have raped you but I didn’t!’ Like wtf do you want, a fucking medal for being a decent human being?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:24 PM
55

My ex reenacted our first date & how we met on our first anniversary & it seemed like it would be cute but it just felt so low effort...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:23 PM
96

The reason FDS is opposed to 50/50 is because a relationship for a woman is never actually 50/50. The woman always has more emotional, mental, and usually physical labor to deal with in a relationship, especially if children are involved. A man is only expected to exist and work. So, if a woman is expected to also pick up 50% of the financial burden, what is she getting out of the relationship?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 06:43 PM
6

You’re going to need to remove the subreddit name - these pics currently violate FDS rules. Just thought you should know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:04 PM
120

If he wanted to, he would. This was the biggest thing for me. He knows what he is doing. If I have to communicate more than once, it mea s he doesn’t care. Trust my instincts. They are there to protect me & I am not being ‘crazy’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 06:27 PM
96

Imagine how garbage you have to be to break a pickme! And convert them to FDS! I wish I could scream this at my NV Narc ex, but he would never admit to doing anything wrong because in his mind he was perfect & I was the crazy, needy one. He broke me so badly that I finally, after 30+ years of being a cool girl pick me anti-feminist, revolutionized myself into becoming a badass bitch with standards and a hatred for LVM & the patriarchy (which I used to be in denial about). He literally drove the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:38 PM
61

I was astonished when my NV-ex told me he didn't know how to change a flat tire, or the brakes & rotors on a car, or even his own oil. Like, I feel like all of that is common knowledge people should know. And when he bought a beater motorcycle to fix up, he had no clue where to start and I had to take the initiative just to get it working. With the existence of Google & Youtube, there really is no need for men anymore when it comes to projects & fixing things, tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:32 PM
64

The only correct reaction to anyone initiating violence against their partner, regardless of sex/gender, is to walk away from the relationship. Period. I'm reminded of the movie Thappad that essentially revolves around this exact type of situation. It's a slow burn movie, but a great watch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 06:05 PM
23

I lose my hair under intense stress. It has been amazing to see all the new growth coming in over the last NVM-free 7 months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 04:15 AM
153

I was also the Cool Girl. It gets you nothing. It gets you worse than nothing. It teaches them that they can treat you as a friend at best, a convenient pussy at worst, but you will never get the commitment of a true relationship because they don't have to give it to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 12:21 AM
35

Oof I have been seeing the same posts you're referencing and all I have been able to think about is how awesome FDS is in comparison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 12:19 AM
123

I have literally had exactly the opposite reaction when multiple male friends have touched me in a flirtatious manner. It made me so exceptionally uncomfortable. Sadly, there are men who will believe this trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 12:18 AM
32

Virginity is a trash concept that has zero bearing on absolutely ANYTHING in life and is only used as a method of controlling women. Pretend the word doesn't exist - that is how little 'virginity' matters in this world. I'm sorry your have a piece of shit for a father & you are very correct that children in general are shaped and melded by their parents. Don't worry - you found FDS young so you already have a leg up - but keep your age secret on the internet. I would remove it from your post whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 12:16 AM
14

Communication does absolutely -nothing- for people who lack empathy. In order to fix the problem he will need to a) develop the desire to change (HIGHLY unlikely), and b) commit to YEARS of therapy and cognitive change/development. Also highly unlikely. I was brought up in an ultra conservative 'pull yourself up by your own bootstraps' type household and completely lacked quite a bit of empathy for an absurdly long time. Luckily I'm a woman (and not a sociopath) so I have inherent empathy, but i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 04:46 PM
249

This hit hard because my narc ex frequently told me he had never loved someone as much as he loved me....and then proceeded to treat me like an absolute fleshlight in the bedroom. And the one time the ropes tore my flesh & scarred me, he acted completely annoyed that he had to remove them instead of asking if I was ok. He basically snapped & said ‘Why didn’t you say something!’ Not even a sorry or an ‘are you ok?’ I’m convinced he never truly loved me, nor that he even knows what love is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 03:22 AM
172

I legitimately believe most men don't understand how to actually love. They may think they do, but women and men 'love' on such differing frequencies. I feel like when a woman loves someone or something, she throws herself into that love and embraces it. It becomes more than just a feeling of happiness. It becomes a feeling of completeness. I think most men confuse a happiness high with love, and when the high wears off, so does the love. It's why you see men cheat on their partners (chasing tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 09:11 PM
68

LOL I love the men in the comments going "NOT MOST MEN." Then why do our moms and dads teach us from the moment we are born to be afraid & suspicious of men? Why, statistically, are men responsible for the majority of violence, war, murder, etc? Why is it that when the world goes to shit (and this is well depicted in post-apocalyptic movies & books), are men the ones who go out of their way to pillage, rape, & murder? I'm sorry, but it is an evolutionary survival tactic for women to naturally be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 05:33 PM
11

What is so interesting to me is that Deadpool is marketed as a trash character. As in, he is an asshole, there is very little redeeming about him, but sometimes he does things that people consider to be good, so he gets a slide. These are his traits that the other characters acknowledge - they all dislike him. I find the character entertaining as a fictional character because he is not real. But any person who tries to emulate him in their every day life? I would seriously question their sanity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 03:23 PM
118

So, I've heard a few explanations for this: Men think it makes a woman more comfortable for them to give her their number vs. asking for hers. As in, the woman now has the option of texting or not texting, without feeling obligated or pressured into giving her number to a stranger instead. Some men recognize that women are very polite and don't like to say no, so may feel pressured into giving their number if asked for it, so men believe this makes it easier on the woman. This is just a sentimen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:59 PM
116

I recently learned this lesson too & it is, honestly, a much better way to live life. I used to have a friend who I thought of as my best friend. I was always there for her no matter what - I would drop everything and rush to her side for support, even to my own detriment. And I never asked for anything in return because I struggle with letting people help me in any way. That being said, the ONE TIME I was having a legit breakdown, drunk, at a party, after seeing my ex who pretended he didn't kn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 02:54 PM
31

So much this. I am really good at sussing out lies via a gut feeling, but when it came to my Narc Ex, I tended to ignore that feeling even when it was slapping me in the face just because he told me he would never lie to me. Finally he slipped & I caught him lying to my face (no gut instinct required) and I was so immensely hurt. Our relationship ended a few weeks later. I, personally, never lie. I don’t believe in lying. So when someone lies to me, especially an SO, it really messes with me. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 05:28 AM
9

I had a guy find me on the meetup app. He had seen me on FB Dating, and we had quite obviously NOT matched (you can see who likes you on FB dating and respond and I responded to all of them bc I just let likes come to me), and he found me on Meetup because I had the same picture and msged me there. I went off on him and then deleted the whole app. Granted, I have been messaged and hit on more times than I can count on Meetup, so it wasn't new (it's not a dating app, men, ffs), but this one hit d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 11:37 PM
314

My ex-fiance was this way. I was so far out of his league he would constantly bitch. He also was so incredibly controlling - wouldn't let me talk to other guys, hang out with friends, and constantly accused me of cheating.....while he was cheating on me. I put up with it because I was soooo young and didn't know any better, but when I realized the relationship had gotten so bad I was contemplating cheating on him, I ended it and found out that day he had been seeing the woman he would eventually…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 12:56 AM
12

Not sure if this is on the list, but I enjoyed Spinster
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 08:30 PM
7

Studies show the women who have the most regret are women that already have kids, get their tubes tied, get divorced, meet another man and want to have kids with him. Not single childfree women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 11:11 PM
6

I ultimately decided that I have sex so rarely that it isn't worth the medical procedure, and if I ever get into another long term relationship, at my age, the men should be willing to get a vasectomy. It's far less damaging, intrusive, and expensive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 11:10 PM
18

Doctors wouldn't even consider me for a bilateral salpingectomy when I was 27. First doctor told me she wouldn't even touch that area because I was under 30 and I might still want kids. Second doctor (who was approved by the Childfree Subreddit) told me she would only consider Essure because it was the most reversible....because I still might want kids. I WAS 27!! I can't be on hormonal BC because it messes with me terribly, I don't want metal in my body, so now, in my 30s, it is condoms or noth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 03:33 PM
79

The sad thing is, big pharma is run by men. There is more money in female birth control vs male birth control, so it is unlikely we will see advances any time soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 11:25 AM
126

I cannot tell you how many men I have mentioned Vasalgel to have freaked out about the prospect of a shot to their penis. Like what fucking children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 10:55 AM
59

I realized I have always been far happier single than in a relationship. Men have done nothing but take & take from me & gave nothing but headaches & tears in return. Over it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 06:47 AM
49

I find most of them just bottle it up inside and don't even seek out emotional support. Which is why so many men are emotionally stunted and desperately need therapy. They pretend their problems don't exist and instead turn to alcohol and substances to 'feel good'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 12:25 AM
109

My ex’s best friends were the exact same way - they all tried to fuck me the moment he broke up with me while complaining they might ‘get in trouble’ with him 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 07:43 PM
268

I have found that men keep the same friends for ages, but that the friendships are exceptionally shallow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 07:42 PM
3

I meant to respond to this earlier - sorry about that! Thank you so incredibly much for your well thought out response to my comment. I will say, since I found FDS, I have removed people from my life that did not deserve my energy & I am working on concentrating more on me than on those around me. You are 100% correct in that I have been conditioned to give and give, even to my own detriment. My narc ex took full advantage of this until I was mentally and financially broken. I am still recoverin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 08:25 PM
8

Thank you <3 You're amazing & it was such a kind gesture. I was having a low moment last night and I am sure it showed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 02:01 PM
291

I almost started crying because I have never experienced this in any relationship, ever. It makes sense to me - I have always strived to make every partner comfortable & loved, but I have never been afforded the same decency and sometimes I think about this & it thoroughly depresses me. My dog is the only thing in my life that has shown me deep & compassionate & unconditional love - the same love I have always shown my partners - and I just cant understand WHY this is so hard to find. Why are mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 02:05 AM
25

I watch a few animal rescue channels on YouTube & they always send in the women because the animals respond better to them. Most animals that have been abused have been abused by men 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 01:55 AM
53

Ugh yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 05:31 PM
7

This made me snort my coffee because this is exactly what my NVex was doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:05 PM
59

My ex would always spend the night Saturday nights, want to sleep in until 10am, and would only get out of bed for breakfast I made him. He would then want to sit & watch Netflix while drinking coffee until noon. I was going crazy because by then I considered half of my day was GONE doing absolutely nothing. I couldn’t wait for him to leave so I could do something productive 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 08:01 PM
113

The majority of rich people would rather spend their money on shit like this than, like, I dunno, help feed and house poor people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 09:37 PM
80

I lived in Japan for a while - they can be pretty emotionally unavailable. Not all, obviously, but that was my experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 10:10 AM
16

My ex was addicted to alcohol & a variety of substances, but he was very functional and did not recognize it as an addiction. But, smoking weed every day (with the explanation that he needed to do it), and binge-drinking Thurs-Sunday frequently being hungover on the weekends, and 3-4 drinks at every meal, screamed alcoholism to me. I pushed it aside because I loved him very much, but a few things happened to me: I started drinking more by association, since every meal included alcohol + we went …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 06:13 PM
11

Honestly, I have only ever had a handful of what I would consider genuine comments from men, and they have all been from grandpa-aged men. And not in a creepy manner (having been sexually harassed by a large number of old men, I am well-versed in sussing out genuine vs. non-genuine). Sometimes I get "I wish my grandson was your age because you seem so sweet," which feels well meaning, but weirds me out just a little bit. Outside of that, the only other compliments I get are in the range of sexy,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 06:00 PM
7

This is victim blaming. It's the same idea as 'women will naturally face harassment online so they should just put up with it or get off the internet.' She should be able to post a picture, regardless of where she posts it, without being slobbered over. That man didn't -have- to post his comment, but he did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:23 PM
46

It took my last breakup for me to finally understand this concept. From the beginning of our relationship, I had communicated the same issue, multiple times, and he never -once- understood. I was never mean about it - I earnestly tried so hard to get him to realize what I was saying, but ultimately, he didn't care. Now I intend to only explain once and if someone doesn't respond the way I anticipate, I am gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:20 PM
14

I just finished reading Red by Christina Henry. The main character is a disabled POC young woman who exhibits very clear FDS values & the entire book has a ton of commentary on male depravity. I really enjoyed it & it was an easy read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:08 PM
11

When I first got my motorcycle, I dropped it & didn't have a tool I needed to fix the piece that got messed up. Turned out a lot more was messed up (manufacturer error), so it had to go into the shop, but while it was there, my dad went out and bought me a bunch of tools, without asking, in a color to match my motorcycle. He can't ride because of medical issues, so he is crazy jealous of my bike, and he loves watching me work on it/ride it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:22 AM
2

Yes! I had a history teacher in 9th grade who singled me out and made fun of me CONSTANTLY in front of the class. A few years after I graduated college, he was actually arrested for sexting multiple teenage girls. And he was one of like 4-5 male teachers from my high school that met the same fate. All of them were old, out of shape, creepy white men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:17 AM
31

I spent THOUSANDS of dollars on my narc ex, to the detriment of my savings. Since we broke up, I have bought a new-to-me vehicle (my dream road-trip car), a motorcycle, and I FINALLY have a decent size emergency fund. Now I'm working on paying down credit card debt & saving even more money and it is all possible because I am not dating, and don't intend to date for all of 2021 at least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:13 AM
18

Honestly, I think it is because it is a few months after COVID lockdowns. I have a few ideas why. In my case, it definitely wasn't spending too much time together, because my narc ex wouldn't spend more than 2 days a week with me, period, for the duration of our relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:11 AM
340

A man has never added value to my life. Since my last relationship ended in June last year, i have finally been able to concentrate on my mental, physical, and financial health & for the first time in a LONG time, I feel happy & content. No reason to let a man ruin all of my hard work 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 07:34 PM
63

Additionally, deep kissing (making out) can also transmit HPV. Just throwing that out there for anyone who may not know. I didn't until I got all those great and wonderful cancer causing HPV strains and my doctor told me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 06:05 PM
6

I was talking about this with a girlfriend last night & we both can’t wait to go grey! It looks amazing on women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 02:03 PM
112

What the absolute depraved fuckery is this? This is a rapist-in-waiting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:59 PM
7

When I was dating earlier this year, EVERY man I went on a date with boasted, without prompting, how good they were at oral. I actually don't care for oral, so this was actually a turn off for me, but like, they seemed so PROUD of themselves. Like children boasting they learned a new word or some shit. Yes, great, you learned how to properly do the bare minimum. Good for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:41 PM
31

You see a lot of men follow their feelings. Ironically, these guys are emotionally constipated. So when I say "feelings", I don't mean your emotions but "what feels good right now." These are the guys who avoid therapy, transparency, anything that builds character, and fixate on whatever feels good in the moment: drinking, partying, sex. This was my ex. After he left me to go sleep with other women, his best friend (who wanted to fuck me and was very transparent about it) sat me down and told me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:44 PM
6

This one seriously confuses me. Most women I know do their dishes immediately. A lot of single older men I know own cats because they are easier to take care of (and we all know men are lazy). And the middle pic....what?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:43 AM
582

You are not ‘one of the important things he needs to focus on.’ Move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:56 AM
65

I hate that answer. It's usually the profiles that have filled nothing else out too. If they put that little effort into their dating profile, then they definitely put very little effort into dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 07:15 AM
54

Interestingly enough, I own & ride motorcycles and holy fuck does it attract men....but I have yet to find a guy who rides who isn't a manchild or an uneducated redneck - neither of which I want to date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 07:13 AM
59

I have, over the years, tried exceptionally hard to foster relationships with men I am not attracted to. I have dated men I was not attracted to, slept with men I was not attracted to, asked out men I was not attracted to, etc., because I recognized they were decent guys & I felt safe around them & I was hoping it could turn into something more. It never worked. My body reacts a different way to men I am attracted to & honestly, it appears to be random. I don't know if its chemical or hormonal, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 06:19 AM
28

- Tacos - The Office/Letterkenny/Rick & Morty - "My safeword is _____" - Any super lame one-liner jokes like 'I can backup the Millenium Falcon without a backup camera' - The majority of his pictures contain alcohol of some sort - Shirtless flex pics - Swipe right for the doggo - No drama - Weed (I used to hang out with a HUGE group of people who smoked & my ex smoked and you CANNOT tell me that shit is NOT addictive. They smoked it DAILY.) - Smoking & Vaping - Smug smirks (You see these a lot o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 06:12 AM
62

I always feel like 'no drama' is code for 'I'm a piece of shit and all my previous girlfriends got fed up with me and called me out, but obviously they were just bitches and I just need to find a woman who is not a bitch.'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 06:03 AM
150

Gave my ex massages & back rubs all the time (I went all in too with oils & deep tissue presses) but never got any in return. I tried hinting multiple times until finally I came out & asked and he was like “You just have to ask me! I didn’t know you wanted one too!” And proceeded to not give me one anyways ffs 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:12 PM
14

I studied Korean in college about 10 years ago & they had a program that would connect Koreans learning English with English speakers learning Korean. Both of the women I matched with told me they were desperate to get a job to stay in America because they would be considered too ugly to be successful in Korea. And when I studied abroad there for 5 months, I saw first-hand how INSANE the marketing is towards getting people, in general, but especially women, to just BUY things. Clothes, bags, mak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:01 PM
674

I changed my whole wardrobe to skirts & tights & knee high socks & sexy lingerie for my last ex & he wore the same pair of jeans every day & rotated through 5 shirts 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 06:09 PM
204

Looks & feels incredibly fake/staged, BUT as a sister to a grown ass man who acts this way, it definitely can be a thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:57 AM
86

I spent my life being low maintenance - self-sufficient, not jealous at all (even if they were friends with ex-gfs, went to strip clubs, watched porn, hung out with girls they used to fuck), not demanding, never fought period (no yelling, accusing, etc), never asked for anything other than love, time, and commitment from my partners. The problem is, acting this way made me forgettable. It made me ‘one of the boys.’ Ex-fiance cheated on me because he said my independence intimidated him. Ex-ex-bf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 04:16 AM
349

The lower maintenance you are, the less they care about you 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 09:01 PM
59

Yeah - I'm pretty sure there is a reason why my three aunts on my dad's side (all in their 60s-70s) don't date or even entertain men. I highly doubt the dating pool is worthwhile, and at that point, why bother?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 07:57 PM
188

I’m 32 & the men in my age range are still so wrapped up in partying, drugs, alcohol, & a desire to sleep with younger women that I legit don’t even want to try & date anymore 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:27 PM
30

Even then, stay vigilant. My narc ex told me he loved me after 2 months & that he had never felt this way about a woman before. Oh and that the only 'lie' he ever told me was that he 'liked' me when he really loved me. Barf. Turns out he was just love-bombing. I should have trusted my gut that night when I froze after he said the words & couldn't say them back right away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 08:29 PM
48

Ugh yes. My ex had the worst friends - all LVM single in their mid thirties, still living with roommates, low level jobs, and obsessed with partying. And they all treated me like a piece of meat 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 10:49 PM
46

I second this. It has some decent points if you are struggling to pull out of your pickmeisha ways, but other than that it is a terrible book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 07:28 PM
47

I second this! I have reconnected with some old friends during this pandemic and it has been wonderful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 05:17 PM
240

Part of the reason I quit dating. The men are absurdly desperate right now. Relationships formed during this pandemic will not last because they started out of a need to solve intense loneliness and potentially depression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 04:38 PM
83

It's not hurting his poor little fee-fees to not get her off - it is damaging his over-inflated ego. Which is a good thing. Make them learn to get better at sex ffs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 03:36 PM
15

It is all fictional tbh - it isn’t meant to be an accurate depiction. They even kind of portray the time period in a tongue-in-cheek manner. Think ‘A Knight’s Tale’ kinda feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 10:16 PM
12

My dermatologist (and research online) told me that the majority of skin care products, outside of a gentle moisturizer & sunscreen (and retinoid/retinol products), are completely worthless (as in they don't revert wrinkles or signs of aging). These cosmetic companies (run by men) prey on insecurities of women perpetuated by the patriarchy in order to make bank. Also, as a side note, a lot of men seem to think it makes them 'gay' to moisturize their face. No it fucking doesn't. If anything, it m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 03:22 PM
16

My father is the same way - if he sees that I need something he will automatically drop everything & get it for me or fix it. He does the same for my mother. Too bad neither of his sons inherited this trait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:27 PM
139

Women outlive men anyways so if what they say is true we can’t escape dying alone /s. What we can escape is wasting our final years taking care of a man 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:24 PM
128

I laughed entirely too hard at this 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:21 PM
81

I did everything for my ex. I gave him the world & when I needed his love & understanding he walked away from me. Now I shower myself & my dog in love & I have never been happier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:20 PM
21

Good riddance! Friendships are transient. If someone brings zero or negative value to your life, there is no point in keeping them around. They are replaceable. It sounds callous, but honestly, I am so much happier after I got rid of the handful of mental leeches in my life. You're going to make fresh friends who don't cause you stress!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:33 PM
147

I remember this! I mentioned it to my ex when it first came out & he said he used to do the same thing all the time, the girls obviously enjoyed it, and there was no problem with it. I was like ...? However, it shouldn't have surprised me. When all his friends first met me they had to ask how old I was and were shocked when I said 30s (I look in my teens/early 20s) because my ex had a habit of dating women in their early 20s....and he was 33.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 11:48 PM
334

Anyone who tells me they want children to carry on their bloodline baffles me. I always respond with 'Why? What makes your genes so special?' Literally nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 10:51 PM
65

So, funny story about my ex that the emergency contact question got me thinking about: At 6 months in, I gave him a key to my house. He looked at me and was like: "Why? I will never use this." Red Flag #1. At around a year, I put him into my phone as an emergency contact and told him and he looked at me strangely and asked, "Why? What about your parents?" Red Flag #2. At about 1 1/2 years in (right before we broke up), he was going to take me on a surprise date (I had already figured it out), th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 09:16 PM
50

I spent years in abusive relationships constantly blaming myself & feeling miserable. I never got angry or fought for myself. I am angry now & I feel so much better. My self esteem is at an all-time high, my love for myself has grown, and I can now recognize so many red flags. I have my anger to thank for all of it. Interestingly enough, I have discussed this with several of my HVM friends & they have all told me: ‘Good. Be angry. Hate men. We deserve it.’ And they have all been sincere in their…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:58 PM
19

For something that is so common, there is surprisingly little knowledge of it. I didn't even fully understand it until I was diagnosed a year ago with major cancer-causing strains w/ the presence of abnormal cells & an abnormal lesion. Had to have a biopsy done and everything. Turned out non-cancerous, but still. After that I did a lot of research and it really effected how I view casual sex now. Nothing I can do in regards to the HPV anymore, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 04:32 PM
52

My ex had no money but pretended he did. I found out he had 30K in credit card debt from excessive partying & spending. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 12:13 PM
55

You are correct. Additionally, it can be passed on even with the use of condoms & according to my doctor, by any membrane touch. So even making out with someone can give you it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 12:10 PM
103

No intelligent woman that fits any of those criteria would ever sleep with him, which is probably why he is so mad in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 02:34 AM
46

I've been single for 6 months now and I dated a bit but decided to put off dating for a while. Primarily because it has been so nice to be single again - I spend less money which means I have bolstered my savings. I have more time for me to do what I want to do. I am currently working on developing a podcast, exercising, learning taekwondo, piano, reading, etc. I have no time for men, and honestly, no desire for men either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 08:42 PM
201

I'm so sick of men and their demands to be 'respected.' It's just code for SERVE & OBEY ME. So fucking gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 08:40 PM
8

I had to recently drop a friend who did this. She would call me all the time complaining and crying and freaking out over her boyfriend who is a complete trash of a man - in and out of jail, can't hold a job, has two kids by two other women who he never paid child support for nor does he see or spend time with, and his best friend is a woman who is in love with him and he knows it and still spends all his free time with her. Meanwhile, my ex-friend is a successful woman with a great career, a ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:19 AM
30

Why the actual fuck is this shit so heavily upvoted? "It's just a joooooooke" - I'm sure. The thing is, knowing the level of intelligence of the vast majority of people (as seen by people eating tide pods), some men will fucking do this. It shouldn't be encouraged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 03:22 AM
77

Love this. Thanks. I tend to love too much, and it always bites me in the ass. I read through the book Women Who Love Too Much and it really really opened my eyes. Going forward I know to be more cautious but to still keep loving the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 03:15 PM
221

Over the course of my last relationship with a complete narc (and the relationship that led me to find FDS), I bought him: $600 worth of custom cigar-related items, $600 racetrack drive in a Ferrari, $120 bottle of whiskey, $100 custom made pen for his work, $250 worth of airsoft items for his birthday during COVID so we could mock shoot each other in the woods, was saving up $7000 for a deluxe all-expenses paid trip to France for him to see the 24 Hours at Le Mans with a full VIP treatment (luc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 02:59 PM
219

I’m 32 and people still mistake me for a teenager so tbh I find it even extra gross when men in their 40s+ hit on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 10:50 PM
26

Not sure if there is something in the water or what, but in the last few days I have been hit up by 4 different men in thinly veiled attempts to get in my pants. Guy #1 I went on two dates with about 5 months ago - he texted me at 12:30am. Instant block (he had been deleted, just not blocked). Guy #2 hit me up on FB - I didn't even know him but we had mutual friends. Instant block & report because his messages were quite harassing. Guy #3 was someone I went on two dates with a month ago & we mut…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 04:32 AM
3

Thanks for the explanation. Honestly, I'm not sure why that book is in the recommended list. On a surface level it seems empowering, but I found myself more annoyed with it than anything for the exact same reasons you mentioned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 04:24 AM
13

Yeah this is one thing I honestly can't get behind. I read the entire Why Men Love Bitches book which preaches heavily this dumb fox concept, and all I could see was 'treat men with kid gloves & boost their ego so they treat you better and buy you shit.' I just couldn't relate to it. I don't want to dumb myself down or strategically do things that make life easier for a guy just so he gets that ego boost he so desperately needs without even working for it.... I mean, one of the examples the book…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 03:53 AM
31

Thanks <3 Thanks to FDS I know that now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 02:04 AM
114

My ex was my first and last foray into BDSM. I used to think I would enjoy it, and to be honest, at the beginning I did. My ex knew how to get me off in a way no other guy had. That being said, our sex started off pretty sensual and loving, but as he got more comfortable with debasing me, it became the same routine - tie me up, gag me, flip me over, fuck me from behind, choke me or shove my face into a pillow or close off my nostrils so I couldn't breath, etc. until he got off. I never got any '…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 01:24 AM
10

Of course! I was just essentially remarking that it's terrible advice :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 07:49 PM
62

The first one is a no from me. I don't expect men to agree with everything I say - in fact, I hope they don't because I can quite often be wrong. That being said, I absolutely hate those kinds of jokes and they always come off as obnoxious to me, not playful. I will say, every guy I have ever dated has had this annoying way of telling me I am wrong, when I 100% know I am right, refuses to believe me, and when I pull up evidence, they find some way to weasel it to STILL try and prove they are rig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 07:34 PM
13

Oooo I like this idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 06:25 PM
22

Gamer here. There are tons of non-gross people on the internet to game with. Find them. Hang with them. Drop this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:07 AM
43

I used to give men the benefit of the doubt, even after being raped (long fucking story). However, the last 6 months have been an utter fucking nightmare for me - stalked across media platforms, followed, harassed, grabbed, and even molested in my own home by a guy I thought was a friend....I can't even go on hikes with my hiking group anymore without being followed the entire time by men trying to talk to me when I'm quite obviously not interested (and then somehow finding me on social media af…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:04 AM
762

I cannot tell you how many times I tried to 'communicate' with my last boyfriend. His responses were always 'that's your problem' or 'if you need something, tell me.' I WAS telling him - he just didn't give a fuck. They never do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 07:30 PM
75

I'm 32, fit, attractive, successful, and intelligent. I came upon FDS after a string of abusive relationships with narcissistic men. I get harassed, hounded, catcalled, followed, stalked, and molested on a near-daily basis. When my last relationship ended 6 months ago, a large majority of my guy 'friends' began to hit me up obnoxiously, touching me, telling me flat out they want to fuck me now that I am single. It has gotten so bad that I have essentially had to block all of them and hibernate i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 07:09 PM
75

Also a retired equestrian. I would also argue that the sport teaches independence, self-sufficiency, and confidence - all values LVM are terrified of in women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:35 PM
–

The appropriate response is to torch the budding relationship. A HVM wouldn't tell you to come over to his house on a Tuesday, where he might be making dinner for you. It's indicative of what is to come, and likely a sign that he is a guy who prescribes to the 'three dates & fuck' mentality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:12 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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