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throwRA-lifeadvice Archive

View 1 posts and 536 comments by throwRA-lifeadvice on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

ADVICEthrowRA-lifeadvice/r/RedPillWives17/05/24 07:33 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
–

But why does it need to be ranked?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 09:19 PM
1

So I can't have opinions?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 08:13 PM
1

Because I know him and the men he associates with.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 08:05 PM
2

I don't take offense to it because my husband doesn't do that. The men who do are the ones complaining they can't get "women of value."
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 02:59 PM
2

Again, I would have no desire to with a man ranking me on a 1 to 10 scale.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 12:27 AM
2

Ikr? Lol it's much better to contemplate why it's unfair that women don't love this and it doesn't lead to successful relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:41 PM
8

It shouldn't be. I would have absolutely no desire to be with a man who was ranking me on each individual category of desirability. Either you are attracted to someone physically and as a person or you aren't. Period.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 02:49 PM
6

As long as you are ranking people you are missing the point and sabotaging yourself and any potential relationship. There are women that are very hot but are also undesirable. Exactly why looks aren't the most important aspect.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 02:44 PM
8

You missed the entire point.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 02:31 PM
19

I can't imagine why women don't love being considered "mid" "a settle" etc. Perhaps not rating people on a 1 to 10 scale would be a good start. The only appearance question should be "do I find this person attractive?" not "yeah but how attractive compared to 'xyz' or 'what will other men rate her'.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 02:25 PM
2

Lie to her and pretend to be something you're not, and hope she likes you enough to overlook your dishonesty later. I know women say they hate this and it is a relationship killer, but men know better and that women actually do enjoy it. The best strategy for a lasting relationship is the one she says is a deal-breaker. 🤯🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 12:25 PM
–

You shouldn't try to make your partner do something, you should communicate with each other and come to an agreement.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 07:51 PM
8

Youth doesn't equal nicer and more loving. Also, let's not ignore the reality that "nicer" and "more loving" are typically directly correlated to "not having treated her badly yet" and "she doesn't know the negative things about me."
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 05:27 PM
10

No wonder RP men are so miserable. If I am in a lifelong competition to keep my husband then he isn't worth having. I would hate to be with a man who saw me as a trophy (the best I can do for now) rather than the woman he loves.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 05:21 PM
8

So it has nothing to do with anything more than "younger and hotter"? If that is your mentality then stay single and just fuck around.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 05:15 PM
5

Define "better than his wife."
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 05:11 PM
10

So men are hypergamous instead of women? Take example of a woman who put her husband in deadbedroom. Husband learn about redpill, becomes attractive and wife fucks him again. All is good. This shows a huge fundamental misunderstanding of female sexuality. But all is not good, husband surpassed his wife's attractiveness. Deal was that he was an average dude and his wife who was also average would fuck him. So he chose her because she was the "best settle" he could get? But she didn't and he was f…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 05:06 PM
11

The issue is most people can't grasp that you can be selective while choosing a partner and once you have chosen that partner you are no longer interested in looking around at anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 04:54 PM
1

Oh ok, so it kind of negates the previous statement about losing interest. Still a win lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 08:47 PM
1

Initial attraction based off pure physicality, but then emotional bond develops, this actually makes her looks have a intoxicating effect and will be a much different sensation than just “see small waist dick engage” I want to make sure I'm not misunderstanding....this is saying the emotional bond is part of what does keep the physical attraction alive, and keeps it from dying out from familiarity...is that correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 08:01 PM
1

Why do you feel that the wow factor is completely gone with familiarity? Does that mean you think he doesn't look at her and find her beautiful of they have been together a long time?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:45 PM
1

What do you mean by no effect?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:33 PM
–

Look at the statistics. They do not support your argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 11:56 AM
–

Such as? My husband out-earned me most of our relationship, but now I earn more. Besides having less financial stress, it has had zero impact on our relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 02:25 PM
1

Cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 03:06 AM
1

Ok cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 03:00 AM
1

Ok
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 11:30 PM
1

No, you aren't actually interested in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 11:23 PM
1

Ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 11:01 PM
1

No. I'm not going to waste my time showing proof that most women aren't attracted to overly aggressive/psychopathic men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 11:00 PM
1

Ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 10:59 PM
1

Ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 10:59 PM
1

Ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 10:59 PM
1

Some of them, after a long wait. Others are 30-40 year old virgins. Cool. I'm sure it happens, but I that is not even the majority. Basically none. That is mostly shy awkward guys shunned by women. If you look around this sub there are plenty "dominant bully" incels.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 10:57 PM
0

Whatever you have to think to make yourself feel better.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 10:55 PM
1

No, but I also know when to walk away and not engage. Pretty such most people aren't randomly punching strangers.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 10:55 PM
2

Holy fuck, because the initial argument was "highly aggressive/psychopathic men."
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 05:16 PM
3

No, typically confrontational aggression for the sake of aggression is not attractive or desirable. Why debate it? If being a confrontational dick works, do what works for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 05:12 PM
4

You gave the example of serial killers, which are absolutely fringe cases. Then keep doing whatever works for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 05:07 PM
3

Yes it does attract a minority of women, I will agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 05:05 PM
3

I did not at all say across the board. But I know far more happily married nerds than happily married bullies. Ultimately though I don't care to debate it, just do what works for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 05:04 PM
3

Yes... anomalies and fringe examples. Whatever works for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 05:02 PM
0

I am not, not sure where you got that from.... just usually hotter than she will be when she is older (though just being more attractive helps make sex more enjoyable to be fair) How much appreciable difference do you think there is between the body of a 25yo and a 40yo? You really think there is enough visual "decline" to make sex less enjoyable?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 04:49 PM
4

You can believe whatever you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 04:41 PM
3

Cool. Men want sex, absolutely. Plenty of men also want a relationship, not meaningless hookups.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 04:38 PM
-2

It isn't "the number", the women who look better when they get older is an exception.... unless you are generalizing that women get better looking when they get older I don't see what you are trying to argue other than "not always" which I have never claimed otherwise. You are saying very attractive women at 30+ are the exception? Or women who have "glow ups" if you will at 30+ are rare? Making a lot of negative assumptions there..... probably has nothing to do with the fact you don't like what …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 04:38 PM
4

So the goal is just sex, not a relationship? And you still feel that aggression and psychopathy are the way to get that? You also assume all men just want meaningless hookups.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 04:32 PM
-1

Depends on your country. You'll be in the US, I suppose. I'm not. Where I live, male on female random attacks are extremely low. May I ask where you live where instances of rape and assault are so low, but men will randomly beat the shit out of other men for no reason? I'm sure regardless of where you live, your husband has been "pressed" by random men. If a complete stranger tries or press him he walks away, as he should. My point is that a lot of young men are too conflict-averse to do even th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 04:31 PM
1

Idk, there are a multitude of women who are far more attractive when they come into their own and have confidence. But yes, if your only measure of attractiveness is a number then sure you would pick the younger. It always seems odd to me when people resort to that argument, who is stating that there aren't plenty of 30 year Olds that are hot and ugly 20 year Olds? Seems like a strawman or misunderstanding of what people are saying Definitely not a straw man. But it is amusing when women who are…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 04:25 PM
4

How many "quiet shy nerds" are married now? How many "dominant bullies" are whining online about being incels?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 04:19 PM
-4

Sexual attractiveness is so much more than body weight or how young you are. There is a reason my husband knows that no woman half my age could ever make him feel the way I do in bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 04:09 PM
1

Yes, but as such I am also at a higher risk of being physically assaulted. But if we go strictly by your premise, my husband has also managed to stand up for himself his whole adult life without hitting a single person.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 04:07 PM
3

Also, where exactly are these women that have no personality, no hobbies, no interest, and are "unpleasant" who are in long-term relationships? Choosing someone who has no interest in growth or self improvement is a poor move. Essentially your complaint is men are willing to pick a boring lazy partner and then be upset about it, while women pay attention to the big picture.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 04:05 PM
4

I have managed to stand up for myself my entire adult life and never one hit another person to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 03:59 PM
3

Aggression and psychopathic tendencies aren't attractive or desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 03:58 PM
6

A 35 yo woman brings 5 less years of youth and sexual attractiveness to the LTR table than a 30 yo, which in turn bring 5 years less to the table than a 25 yo, with in turn brings 5 years less to the table than a 20 yo. There is basically nothing more valuable a woman can bring to compensate for all of those years Sexual attractiveness??
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 03:57 PM
3

Oh I have no doubt most men will take most women. But are they genuinely happy with those women? Or are they still beating off to their fantasy women the second their partner isn't around. Men argue all the time they "need" fantasy women. I love my husband fully. And before you go down the litany of "RP requirements" he was balding in his early twenties when we started dating, he has been overweight our entire relationship, and we were both making barely $12/hr when we married. I am extremely se…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 02:21 PM
2

Care to explain?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 02:01 PM
1

But in terms of sexual intimacy, is he providing anything that these casual men of the past did not? Absolutely. Sex between us is an unbelievable experience. I think it is reasonable to assume for a woman, who had many previous casual partners, that these men were providing something beneficial (i.e. amazing sex) to her, otherwise she would not have kept engaging in casual sex with numerous other men. It's definitely wasn't amazing sex. It is usually a combination of negative factors. Is the in…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 12:54 PM
4

I would say yes. Women are far more realistic. Men are disappointed they don't get the fantasy women they beat off to.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 02:57 AM
10

Why in the world would I as a woman be with a man I "wouldn't easily have sex with"???
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 03:10 PM
1

Neither is true, it is not 100% black or white.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 02:18 AM
1

What does that even mean? What leverage?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 01:58 AM
1

There is no need for them to be gendered. That is one of the biggest reasons they feel unfairly distributed.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 01:31 AM
1

How so? Track who does what chores?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 01:18 AM
9

Easy solution...its our house, our bills, our responsibility. Not tallied, or tracked, etc. we just both contribute like responsible adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 03:48 PM
1

Citations?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 04:50 PM
2

There is zero correlation between tongue piercing and number of partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 04:07 PM
1

What "signs" then?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 03:42 PM
3

You know that no one walks around with a sign stating how many partners they have had, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 12:21 AM
2

I do know is if you’re generally desirable older woman, it does not make you any easier, it can make you harder to get. Which is great, good for them. Because they have higher standards. We don't need someone to support us, we want someone who compliments our life. Don’t think because an older man is with a younger women, that he doesn’t mean he didn’t try with some older women. Some older women can be more difficult to achieve relationship status with. If he chooses to stay stagnant and not adv…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 02:08 AM
2

Older women also got a new requirement beyond looks, they want you to be established. They don’t want to go to any dirty apartments anymore just because you’re alright looking. So they expect you to be an adult? I tried a bunch of times, but mostly gave up on older women, they want too much just for their love. My last 3 girlfriends the last 8 years have been 10-20 yrs younger. They don’t ask me for anything other than food. So you were unable to live up to a standard of being established, takin…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 10:52 PM
7

Again, I would have both with the long term partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 12:21 AM
5

Men also have a hard time communicating about sex. You don't seem to understand how much orgasms are mental. I wouldn't chose one or the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 12:16 AM
10

Yes that's true. But suppose you don't have passionate sex with the person who knows you well. Or suppose that the first man's passionate sex isn't the same level of connection. It's not as loving in your estimation. Then communicate.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 12:09 AM
51

You do know you can have both routine and passionate sex with someone who knows you well correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 11:59 PM
3

Truth is children and family are assumed to me the part of "it all". So women will be out of commission for sometime. Standard healing times are 6 weeks for vaginal delivery and 8 weeks for cesarian section. You talk like we are invalids for months and years on end. Their bodies will suffer because of pregnancy and breastfeeding and other stuff. Ok? And? With women focusing on their careers in their youth, they will have more money, they will have more assets. By the time they are established in…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 08:44 PM
–

My count definitely wasn't 100+, but I regretted that stage because of why I did it. Haven't done an emotional 180 since.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 01:23 AM
1

How honest are you about your sexual history to your partners? He knows everything. And how honest do you want your partner to be about their sexual history? Completely honest. If you asked about someone's sexual history, would you offer your own first? Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 01:24 PM
1

If a specific womam earns respect then she should be respected but women should not be respected in general. There should be a baseline level of respect for all people, men and women. Which is stupid because women have done nothing to earn respect and those who demand respect are the most unworthy of that respect. I personally demand respect because I will not tolerate being treated like a piece of shit. If you do not have basic human decency then absolutely please move along. That conditioning …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 01:14 PM
9

I see some people in PPD thinks men going to jump on anything if they desperate or bad willing. This is usually perpetuated by men. This can be apply for only very small and mentally ill people. Why we men have to take this insult to our guts and act like it is what is it? Ironically, women NOT being willing to fuck any and everything is the reason that most men in PPD say women don't understand what it really means to have a high sex drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 01:03 PM
1

Since most women actually don't require 6ft talk men who earn a minimum of six figures, what standards should we lower exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 10:29 PM
3

ESPECIALLY a neurosurgeon lol!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 06:55 AM
2

I chose to do what was best for my children.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 07:19 PM
0

False. You clearly don't understand the nuances of addiction, parenting, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 07:08 PM
0

No, other people's choices aren't my fault. Staying is complex just as leaving is complex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 06:26 PM
2

Ehhh I respect you for being consistent, but I doubt most men who had a partner who went to see or read 50 shades of Grey actually gave a fuck. Do they not care because they would never give up their porn habits?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 06:04 PM
4

Porn addicts aren't going to choose a partner no matter how enthusiastic or exciting they make it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 06:03 PM
3

Because everyone has different boundaries, and there are plenty of people who consume porn at addictive levels.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 06:02 PM
1

And why is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 03:07 PM
1

I wouldn't have that type of friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 03:03 PM
2

No, I engage in sex acts because I enjoy them, I am very attracted to my partner, and there is extensive trust.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 03:01 PM
1

I agree you can be extremely into someone from the beginning, but loving them from day one isn't possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 02:16 PM
1

Women seem to have a difficult time falling in love with strangers until they have met them multiple times. You do know the definition of love correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 11:40 AM
6

🤣🤣🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 09:18 PM
1

I never once felt like my partner should just deal with it, but I do ask that he show some grace during those times.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 05:30 PM
1

Excluding menstrual cycles ( and even then I feel that you should be responsible for what you say and do) While I do agree you are still responsible for what you say and do, I will also add a few things... 1) Most women, myself included, HATE the emotional hormone rollercoaster. 2) We actually wish we didn't feel the way we do. 3) I wish men could have a solid six months of monthly cycles so they could truly understand how it feels to have your hormones all over the place, be in pain, bleeding (…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 10:53 AM
7

There is something very wrong with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 07:13 PM
–

Financial instability isn't exciting. Also, as a woman I wouldn't consider a guy who parties all the time exciting.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 01:17 PM
6

Yeah, it isn't population density that makes third world country appealing. It's women without options.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 08:52 PM
5

I think you mean poverty lowers standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 08:44 PM
6

Why do you feel passion and excitement is an "alpha man" thing? Or that you have to choose one or the other. Most couples experience both things at various times throughout their relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 03:23 PM
–

Not wanting your partner to have sex with someone else is quite different than having past partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 11:58 AM
–

It doesn't hurt the ability to bond, and as far as the higher unsuccessful relationship rate it goes from 1 in 10 to 2 in 10 for men and women with five or more partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 10:49 AM
–

Some men are way hornier. Some women are hornier than most men. Then you have the tired “they’re horny but only for Ch4d” nonsense which makes no sense. Any sort of contingency immediately precludes them from having anywhere near as ravenous a libido as men. I'm horny all the time for my husband....a contingency does NOT preclude anything. Are you saying that men are capable of having sex with ANYONE because that is how libido works?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 03:54 PM
1

So lying and manipulating arent games...got it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 01:40 AM
2

In what way?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 09:20 PM
1

So then women who don't do this are open and honest?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 08:17 PM
4

Y'all are playing too many games for a relationship to ever work.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 08:16 PM
2

If only people were honest from the start.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 02:41 PM
0

So your perception is that avoiding ONS and hookups will prevent abuse? Or that women who get sexually abused by someone other than family were stupid about security?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 02:26 PM
5

Sexual abuse does absolutely happen in families, but most people don't scream their illegal acts from the rooftops. She included revenge porn in her list, it was not the entire list so yes you can get abused by a ONS.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 01:41 PM
6

Can you expound on that?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 01:21 PM
4

Tf?! Who is having sex with family members?!?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 01:20 PM
9

No, I would never put a man in a position to compete. Relationships are not a game.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 12:56 PM
8

If you can't commit to a relationship until you get sex that is something you should evaluate within yourself. Not everyone wants a relationship that develops from sex; plenty of people, men included, want a relationship that develops into sex, with sex being an expression and escalation of what is already there.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 12:49 PM
13

I would never compete with other women or use sex to keep a man. If he can't even be faithful in the early stages of a relationship then I would let the trash take itself out.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 12:25 PM
2

What exactly are they demanding from men?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 10:17 AM
1

Escorts don't live in your home and "come to your room when beckoned.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 11:08 PM
1

Maybe this is anecdotal, but every time a man says he fails at dating, the first piece of advice given is always "Go to the gym, make more money, fix your hygiene, wear better clothing" etc. With women, I almost never see the same emphasis on how much looks matter in attracting a partner. I'm really sorry that this has been the advice you were given! It is shitty at best. Every time I go into a gym, I'd say 80-85% of the gym is men. Of the 15-20% that are women, only around 5-10% are doing the n…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 06:31 PM
2

I agree; I think some people, regardless of gender, have an entitled or victim mentality that they use to justify stagnation. Or they are not intrinsically motivated, only reward motivated. You are welcome! I'm SOOOOO not perfect, and have fucked up plenty in my relationship, but what matters is recognizing that and working to change it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 04:34 PM
7

But this messaging is so pervasive that some people think it’s only men who are expected to improve themselves and ‘bring stuff to the table.’ Why do you feel this is the case? Do you think women seek to better themselves, or only men? So, women, what do you see yourself as ‘bringing to the table?’ What do you think you can and should ‘bring to the table?’ What are you saying, doing, and working on that adds value to your relationship? What are you offering and doing for your (potential or actua…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 04:03 PM
1

Most men throughout their lives would rather share a bedroom with their partner than have different colored curtains. e can still have her come to his room when he wants her. I think you forgot what century we are in. Concubines aren't a thing anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 01:59 PM
3

I wish I could like this comment a thousand times!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 01:52 PM
0

Or perhaps this supports the fact that attraction is subjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 09:29 AM
2

Yeah it isn't that simple but way to dismiss. I also have multiple joints that are permanently damaged so I get it. We were only separated. We made the decision to try to reconcile before the divorce was finalized.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 11:45 PM
2

My hookups are a testament to my substance abuse. I still desire my husband and find him attractive after all these years.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 10:02 PM
1

I'm thankful it wasn't HIV, but it is still pretty life altering. I did ask for a screen. Fun fact, did you know herpes isn't included on an STD panel? Use whatever word you want. He used my past experiences to hone how he treated me. He pretended to be everything I wasn't getting before. He played a game. It's interesting that I'm bad at choosing, not he was bad for lying and manipulating. I value honesty and have always respected men who tell the truth. I didn't get married temporarily, it's b…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:43 PM
1

You are certainly entitled to that opinion. As someone who has been separated and planned to divorce, the depression and despair was pretty damn debilitating. It was an agreed upon stipulation in the separation that other relationships were permissible, as there was absolutely no intention to ever try to reconcile again at that time. I had spent so many years unbelievably lonely, that I did enter into a new relationship; it was "easy" because he saw me as an easy target because of my traumatic e…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 04:54 AM
1

you can be in a loving long-term committed relationship without it. Yes it is a risk, but no I disagree with the above statement. How can you have a loving committed long term relationship when your choice demonstrates you don't trust your partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 12:04 AM
1

Marriage is a risk for men and women, however divorce rarely occurs through the fault of only one partner. Take your marriage seriously, always work on yourself, never stop loving your spouse and showing them you love them, and go from there.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 09:39 PM
6

So if someone wants rings weddings, state sanctioned legal titles that's not love that's a set up If you can't make an official commitment and need to have the option of an easy out open, then there is a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:07 PM
1

Marriage is something I want, but his hesitation makes me question whether I can rely on him long-term. How long have y'all been dating? What hesitation has he expressed? When I share my frustrations, I don’t feel like he’s actively supporting me. Can you explain a little bit more about this? He’s struggling with depression and has a plan for a three-month retreat, which feels like avoidance rather than a solution. A three month retreat? What does this entail exactly? Is he getting medical treat…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/24 11:39 AM
1

I don't think you can love your spouse and cheat on them without any signs that something is off.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 12:24 AM
3

What makes you think I would be fine with a one time cheating vs continued affair? Or that the duration of cheating is what causes doubt?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 12:01 AM
1

Haha already downvoted....there is no winning in this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 09:29 PM
3

If I had a reason to doubt then yes. Otherwise no.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 09:03 PM
–

So why didn't you settle down with this amazing woman before your early 20s were over?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 04:29 PM
–

And how old are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 02:12 PM
1

I never said that in any way, HOWEVER how many sex addicts do you know of who completely abstain from porn?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 06:20 PM
1

So you told her she was completely unattractive to you from the beginning?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 08:12 PM
1

I agree completely!! Ironically they are actually more effectively arguing that a lot of men are porn sick better than any woman possibly could.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 08:11 PM
0

Note I said WITH YOUR SPOUSE. I can read and critically think perfectly fine thank you! YOU decided to coerce someone to marry you, and now you are all pissed off neither of you want to have sex with each other. I bet no one could have seen that coming 🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 08:05 PM
-1

By merit of just finding someone you "love" attractive you are objectifying them.By the mere merit of loving "someone" instead of everyone is valuing individual characteristics which is objectifying. You genuinely need some therapy, help, something. If there was no such thing as "objectification" or if it was some sort of evil as you suggest than the human race wouldn't exist because we wouldn't fuck each other let alone care at all. So reducing someone to an objective is the only way you can ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 07:56 PM
3

Yes even if solo, he is "interacting" because his brain is learning to associate sex with a screen Is he interacting with the woman? Is she receiving his attention? Yes, he is literally nutting to her, so pretty sure she has his undivided attention. If you choose to do it anyway that's on you, but it doesn't change the science/psychology behind it This wasn't the question. Well that wasn't the answer, that was a further statement. Look it is simple. When you meet a woman just let her know you wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 07:54 PM
2

I ABSOLUTELY feel that way! Sexual intimacy is necessary for a relationship, and I was miserable without it. Difference is, I didn't use it as an excuse to break a boundary that was already decided on.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 07:52 PM
1

Deadbedroom still doesn't make porn a necessity.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 07:20 PM
3

Everyone has a right to their boundaries and beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 06:35 PM
1

If you say so. I also think it's pretty dumb to choose a screen when you have a willing woman in your bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 06:21 PM
-2

That is your opinion which you are entitled to. I have personally seen men give up porn. You can actually have pretty kinky sex without truly objectifying someone you love.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 06:20 PM
3

But it is not solely men with lower libido partners looking at porn. Even if there is a mild discrepancy, why not masturbate to your partner or without porn?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 06:19 PM
2

You ok? No one said you can't have bodily autonomy. It is extremely simple actually; in any relationship, just let her know up front you will never give up porn for any reason. That way she can decide what to do from there. Look at that, problem solved. I have given up trying to explain porn and masturbation are not the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 06:17 PM
4

Who says he can't?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 04:41 PM
1

A woman isn't a cum rag. The "you better suck and swallow or I'm getting off to someone else" is disrespectful at best, and I assure you it doesn't turn anyone on.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 04:40 PM
5

It's much more common than you think. https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-four-cs-of-pornography-in-couple-relationships-
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 04:05 PM
1

News flash...you can masturbate without porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 03:57 PM
4

No, I'm not equating masturbation and porn, which I have said multiple times. They are NOT synonymous. What's the difference between watching porn and using your imagination where other real or imagined women might also be present? Genuine question....what keeps a married man from imagining his wife? Or enjoying the sensations of masturbation? As far as masturbation, sex toys, etc HAVE A CONVERSATION. Decide together what you want and BE HONEST.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 03:56 PM
1

Knock off the condescension. Yes even if solo, he is "interacting" because his brain is learning to associate sex with a screen, and his perception of sex, arousal, appearance, etc IS being modified. If you choose to do it anyway that's on you, but it doesn't change the science/psychology behind it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 03:18 PM
5

Wtf?! If a woman "refuses" more than once?! Women AND men will experience days/times they aren't in the mood, and that is completely normal. Are you also saying if a man refuses more than once throughout a marriage that he is controlling and manipulative?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 03:16 PM
7

To me it's funny how you are the cock police but at the same time you don't give up the idea of saying no to sex. I think I have turned down sex MAYBE twice in the last two years. Total. Also how is this betrayal what do you know the meaning, where is the complete break from all the relationship's obligations by watching a screen. This is female hysterya. Talk to the men who struggled with porn compulsion/addiction. Talk to the wives who were consistently turned down because their husbands could…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 03:13 PM
7

If she, meaning the wife? I don't think anyone is saying that the wife should cut sex off and the man be celebate. And again you are equating porn and masturbation.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 02:47 PM
3

You are more than entitled to your opinion, just as I am more than entitled to mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 02:39 PM
2

I did answer your question.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 01:41 PM
0

Wow, I can't imagine why an attitude like that doesn't turn women on /s.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 01:40 PM
4

You make a lot of assumptions when you have no idea what my specific situation is. At the end of the day, it is extremely simple... don't agree to things you know you don't want. Honesty is the foundation of a relationship for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 01:38 PM
1

Hmmmm did I say that? Is it really that insane to imagine not fantasizing about multiple women and being happy with the partner you have?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 01:30 PM
3

Ok, yes he is getting off to an image of another woman. Not sure what point you are trying to argue here.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 01:29 PM
–

Most women aren't menopausal at 40. Also mid 30's-early 40s is when women's libidos peak.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 01:28 PM
6

It's not a difficult concept; if he is getting off to a screen instead of his wife despite an agreement not to, that is betrayal.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 01:27 PM
6

It is the lack of agreed upon faithfulness.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 01:22 PM
7

Exactly! They WANT porn to masturbate, they don't NEED porn to masturbate.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 01:19 PM
5

What do you mean "how could you compete with that?"
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 01:07 PM
3

Hence why it needs to be a very involved discussion and agreement between partners early on.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 12:25 PM
11

Ok, please try to read for comprehension. If BOTH partners agree to the boundary, that makes breaking the boundary betrayal.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 12:18 PM
7

My beliefs are that porn is wrong, but what strangers do does not concern me. I do however find it interesting that porn and masturbation seem to be used interchangeably.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 12:17 PM
6

If you BOTH agree that it is not faithful, it is a betrayal. Why are you so set on having a partner and porn?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 12:13 PM
0

That is something for them to decide, based on their beliefs and morals.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 12:09 PM
6

Why the need to find some way to "get around" an objection? It's really ridiculously simple, women are asking for faithfulness, and if you have agreed that giving you sexual attention to other women is wrong then don't do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 11:58 AM
4

If its mutually agreed upon, good for them, but a lot of the time you will find that it isn’t. If that person has watched porn for a good chunk of his life, and let's be honest, who hasn't with how easily accessible it is, then expecting it to come to a complete halt is not realistic especially when there is that type of dopamine involved. First off maybe the partner who engages in the porn shouldn't lie. Secondly, your statement acknowledges the biggest problem... Dopamine. It provides a much h…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 11:16 AM
4

Porn is absolutely a boundary someone can set, and if both parties agree to it then violation IS betrayal. At the end of the day nobody is solely going to get off looking at one person for the rest of their lives. Humans aren't wired that way. You could always be mature, understand that life isn't one thrill after the next, and work to improve the relationship you do have. Just a thought. Are you going to honestly say that if someone like Pedro Pascal (a good majority of women are obsessed with …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 10:36 AM
1

I was sleeping genius, not demonstrating you outsmarted me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 09:29 PM
1

I have never experienced 50-100, much less tend of thousands.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 09:29 PM
1

Well I have dealt with abuse from men many times, yet don't abuse them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 09:28 PM
0

Well I wouldn't know, I have never had this fantasy you talk about.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 01:14 PM
0

I have no idea what women you are talking about, but I have never found real love easy to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 01:03 PM
1

Sex and love are very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 12:55 PM
1

By the definitions on this sub? No. Was I attracted to him from the start? Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 12:33 PM
1

Idk, it's not something I have ever gone around asking. I'm sure some would and some wouldn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 12:12 PM
1

Yes, despite his balding and weight (we are both actively working on getting healthy) I find him extremely attractive and desire him strongly.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 07:38 AM
4

No, it's an adult way of thinking. And btw I am probably one of the most competitive people there are and I'm constantly working to achieve better. First, you should be intrinsically motivated to do better not only motivated by the reward. Two, you don't leave the person who's stood by your side while you were bettering yourself just because you think now they don't deserve you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 11:54 AM
5

Or they could just grow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 11:49 AM
7

I mean if you consider attracting a homewrecker "upward mobility" you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 08:56 AM
15

I'm glad if the trash takes itself out. Also, I wish anyone could understand the person initiating the divorce isn't necessarily the person at fault. Don't be mad women no longer have to tolerate shitty treatment.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 08:44 AM
5

It has nothing to do with a witch hunt and everything to do with the fact that you consider male virginity to be just as traumatizing as brutal sexual assault.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 01:46 PM
5

Sooo you got nothing 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 01:42 PM
5

Feel free to provide an example.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 01:39 PM
1

You really should go out in the real world at least occasionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 10:12 AM
15

Incel insanity and entitlement is getting worse by the day.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 03:18 AM
1

It shouldn't really be at the forefront of your mind though truthfully.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 09:08 PM
2

Commonplace
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 08:21 PM
2

That is the definition of common.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 07:05 PM
5

I have been around available "Chads" my entire relationship and never even CONSIDERED flirting, must less cheating. NEVER ONCE.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 04:29 PM
7

If a man will cheat because he does not have porn then it sounds like he is taking the trash out for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 04:13 PM
1

So? Why do you think it is better to imagine another woman altogether?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 01:12 PM
1

I wouldn't care, it's still me he is imagining.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 02:59 AM
1

Yes, my autocorrect is really really weird when it comes to Reddit...I will edit that. Why is it unfair in your imagination? Why is it not unfair to imagine it with someone other than them?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 02:51 AM
7

Why do you feel you have to have something other than your spouse in order to masturbate?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 02:41 AM
0

Exactly!!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 01:29 AM
3

Oh trust me I know...it's sad and they advocate how "healthy" and "normal" it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 12:42 AM
-1

It's the porn that is the problem most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 11:31 PM
31

Masturbation is rarely the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 08:48 PM
-7

You can't counter an argument you didn't even read.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 10:30 PM
0

Didn't read. Hard disagree. So you didn't read it, just immediately invalidated the entire premise you aren't actually aware of. Very mature.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:51 PM
0

Yes, but not in graphic details and not anything he wouldn't be ok with. And we are talking about being ok with my closest friends, not whoever is willing to listen.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:30 PM
0

Which again, I haven't done. I would never discuss his body with anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:28 PM
1

They'll describe how the man fucked her, his confidence, the size of his dick, each vein on it, the taste, the damn birthmark on his ass cheek. I have shared some things we have explored with my closest friends, but never in graphic detail, and I have NEVER described my husband's body to anyone!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:24 PM
25

Not even remotely close. My husband is by far the best sexual partner I have ever had!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 12:52 AM
3

It is better to be single than be with someone who can't or won't accept you for who you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 01:07 PM
3

Not sure why y'all are so set on women wanting the "bad guys." The thrill you think is there isn't, and the confidence is actually arrogance.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 01:04 PM
–

Nope those are very different things, and it absolutely blows my mind that that correlation is even made.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 03:06 AM
–

Or....hear me out...some men care what happens now, not the past. Some secure men can understand different circumstances and factors, and that the past doesn't have to define you. Sure no one likes to think about their partner being with someone else, but it doesn't have to be this major issue y'all try to turn it into.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 01:58 AM
2

A partner who doesn't clean, watch their kids, it do anything to help their spouse is going to create resentment.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:35 PM
2

It can go either way, and I only used that example because it is most common. It isn't always abuse though, there can be other problems in the relationship. If there are no problems and it's a great relationship in every way, one partner just all out refuses intimacy then yes that is completely wrong. But I would also be pretty confident is saying that is pretty rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:35 PM
4

So even if there are valid reasons a woman should just lay there in order to let him get off and not "withhold." You assume inability is the same as withholding...they are very very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:06 PM
3

You seem to assume a lack of sex is one partner withholding. If there are reasons behind an inability to be intimate it should be addressed by both partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 06:55 PM
1

Yes, withholding sex to manipulate is completely wrong. But yes, this is also rare; there are almost always reasons why sex drops off.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 01:46 PM
–

To each their own. Neither of us had anything when we got married.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 09:25 PM
–

That is an extremely flawed way of viewing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:39 AM
3

Household duties are a part of life for adults. If you live alone you do all of them, if you have a partner you share the responsibility. Time has value, both financially and otherwise. If you can truly afford to hire out some things then there is no harm in doing so, however it really isn't possible to do this to the extent you have no responsibility at home. Also, no these things are not intrinsically "affordable." And for child care, there's a nanny who provides the service. Don't have kids y…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 01:56 PM
3

This is because the state gives you an already made document that you do not understand and that is the most significant financial and legal decision that most people will make. Most people don't think of the legal ramifications of marriage or take the time to educate themselves on it. If you are not capable of understanding a marriage license or the ramifications of marriage you shouldn't get married period.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 02:01 PM
1

The official statistic is 25%.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 09:52 PM
1

I think you are mistaking wanting a man who has a good work ethic and can provide for "wanting more money than them." If a woman has a goal of marriage/kids, shouldn't she want a man who can provide for the times that she will for sure or potentially be out of work?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 01:10 PM
1

Letting them run wild isn't exactly parenting.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:41 AM
5

Well maybe yours were like that, mine definitely were not.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 01:31 AM
3

Then you do not have typical children.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 01:12 AM
6

And you have raised kids primarily by yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 12:42 AM
3

Idk by age.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 12:41 AM
10

25% of mothers, 7% of fathers, and 10% of childless women women do not work outside the home. There is no real data on childless men who don't work, but we know they are out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 12:12 AM
6

What does that have to do with ANYTHING we are discussing?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:43 PM
7

I didn't complain now did I? I do however understand why a parent wouldn't necessarily have a perfectly clean house and a hot meal waiting on the table.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:42 PM
6

I don't hate kids, and yes I have taught my kids extensively; education begins at home and parents are just as responsible to teach their kids. I'm definitely not asexual, and you need to stop getting your statistics from Reddit lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:41 PM
9

That was the official government statistics. And I have kids, and don't modify my beliefs based on audience.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:40 PM
3

Well I wouldn't know, I have never wanted to be reliant on a man. But regardless, only about 15% of women never have children by choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:39 PM
9

Have you ever cared for an infant? Or an infant and one (or more) toddlers?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:37 PM
7

Yeah, it's just "spending time." Definitely not "totally dependent on a parent for survival in every area."
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:37 PM
8

Most STAPs go back to work when their kids go to school. Have you ever been responsible for an infant, toddler, preschooler?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:36 PM
5

In the US approximately 25% of women never have children, with 15% being intentionally and 10% being unable.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:35 PM
10

Taking care of the home you also live in and the children you fathered isn't being a slave. As it stands now, 10% of women stay home without children, 24% of women are SAHMs, and 7% of men are SAHDs.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:22 PM
11

You realize that raising children isn't just chilling out all day right? She is working as well, she just doesn't get paid for it. Why does he get to clock and while she works 24/7?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:17 PM
11

With children involved, absolutely. Otherwise no.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:14 PM
24

What percentage of women are getting married and immediately leaving the workforce so they can have a man provide everything? Even if there are kids, regardless of who is working in the home vs outside the home, BOTH parents should be equally involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:08 PM
4

It's difficult sometimes because it makes you feel like you must not be good enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 04:18 PM
1

Removing contraception also equates to less sex after marriage since most women don't want to be constantly pregnant/adding another child to their family.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 02:16 AM
2

AGAIN. I DID NOT SAY NO BIG DEAL. I SAID SEX AND INTIMACY ARE NOT SYNONYMOUS. No I'm not ok with porn and I'm not ok with cheating. If you can't understand the difference between sex with a ONS when you are single not having the same importance as sex in marriage, or a ONS when you are single meaning you aren't fine with your spouse cheating on you, then I truly don't know how to explain it to you in a way that you grasp.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 12:36 PM
1

You are intentionally being obtuse. But regardless I wouldn't be with a man like that so it's a non issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 11:01 AM
1

Well I don't do any of that, so couldn't tell you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 04:56 AM
1

I have explained further down in this thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 04:55 AM
2

No, betrayal is not meaningless. You are twisting my words and you know it... besides he doesn't want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 04:55 AM
2

We don't need sex with other people, we are monogamous because we love and are committed to each other. Why would he need to go outside the relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 10:51 PM
1

I am in a monogamous marriage, and I have already stating why the sex is significantly different.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 09:34 PM
0

I'm sorry you feel that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 09:33 PM
1

Ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 02:15 PM
1

I don't think you truly understand how women do feel, but either way, do what works for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 02:11 PM
1

Ok fair enough. Does that mean 5-20kg is ok? And that isn't the only reason for erectile dysfunction, although I agree with your statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 01:52 PM
-1

I think there are a lot more than you realize, but maybe it does apply differently for men looking to date since it is estimated that 75% of narcissists are men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 01:50 PM
2

So you feel a woman should leave or not love a man who gains weight or has ED? Some seasons are tough, and sometimes they last several years. Sometimes life prevents things from being feasible. Sometimes everything you have is going to everything else and weight loss or the gym just feel overwhelming. It happens. But if any changes in weight or fitness level would lead to leaving, I wouldn't recommend that person get married in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 01:36 PM
1

To me, it seems like you are rationalising and coping with your own past to justify your present view. By putting down your past actions to the meaningless or lacking value, you can say that your present means more. Reality is, the person you were in those moments of previous lust and intimacy would say those moments believed truly that those experiences had meaning and you did "love them". Not at all. The person I was in those moments was drunk and knew it wasn't love. There was not intimacy th…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 01:11 PM
4

So male weight gain is fine? Erectile dysfunction not a problem? But yet you say not to expect a man to love a woman who gains weight. Yes most of the time it is controllable. But life also doesn't happen in a vacuum. What you call "weaponized incompetence" could easily be exhaustion, high levels of stress, or depression. There have been times in my life where my only goal was surviving and being there for my family in the way they needed me to show up. But even when you take that away, the same…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 01:08 PM
4

This is what I said in another response: Sex can be nothing more than a meaningless ONS, or it can be an expression of love and total vulnerability. You can have sex with someone and not care at all about them (I am NOT advocating for deception) more than just another human being. But the sex you can have with the person that truly knows you, accepts you, and loves you is different entirely. The ability to give yourself fully to someone else, and to let them experience you fully, in a way no one…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 12:56 PM
0

They haven't though, and that is what you don't yet understand. It would bring into question why you would seek ONS if "love" was just so much better. If its meaningless why do it? Unless it isnt meaningless... Because at that time I had never experienced love.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 12:53 PM
2

Sometimes bad does permanent damage in ways you can't imagine until you experience it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 12:46 PM
1

Sex can be nothing more than a meaningless ONS, or it can be an expression of love and total vulnerability. You can have sex with someone and not care at all about them (I am NOT advocating for deception) more than just another human being. But the sex you can have with the person that truly knows you, accepts you, and loves you is different entirely. The ability to give yourself fully to someone else, and to let them experience you fully, in a way no one else has, with total trust, cannot be co…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 12:42 PM
0

I can see you have only experienced one.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 12:27 PM
4

Do you have the same level of conviction regarding balding, male weight gain, or erectile dysfunction? I'm guessing that's probably different....
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 12:21 PM
3

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but sex and intimacy are not the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 12:19 PM
4

So then what is your point criticizing me for only having two kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 09:44 PM
6

Oh?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 02:13 PM
4

What careers do you see as good options that aren't trades and don't require any college? What careers does the US only require degrees in?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 01:59 PM
5

So your argument is it is better to work yourself to a near breakdown than get your education at an optimal time? And for the record, I see absolutely nothing wrong with going into the trades instead of college.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 01:43 PM
8

I went back to college in my mid 30s...I promise, it is WAY harder to do college when you have a family, home, job, responsibilities, etc vs being a single 18-22 year old.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 01:38 PM
11

I know where my emotional bandwidth is. It is not the cost which I already said. You have no idea the situation, so why assume that everybody is supposed to have a whole house full of kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 12:34 PM
11

You should not have more children than you can provide love, emotional support, financial support, and genuine connection. Not everybody is made to have a whole house full of children.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 12:33 PM
13

Then perhaps men should take better care of themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 12:31 PM
16

Women statistically take better care of themselves, so they are at fault for that?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 11:04 AM
22

No, children are far more than just a time and financial investment. If you do it right they are a significant emotional investment and blessed responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 10:52 AM
22

I have a great career, had my kids in my mid 20s, and had them close together. I stopped at 2 because I knew what I could handle. It had nothing to do with money, career, age, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 09:25 AM
2

Oh I agree completely! But most don't plan to never work again once their kids are older/grown.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 05:51 PM
3

Correct, it is. They are not mutually exclusive. But wouldn't someone have to be somewhat career minded as a single person to survive? And I'm only referencing being a single person since that is what is specifically being discussed.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 05:39 PM
–

Because in the real world moral value isn't based on appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 04:42 PM
–

You are indeed ranting, so I was asking if you were ok. Meanwhile "uhm ever thought men bad hmmm? men bad cause MEN WANT SEX!" not a rant? ok Wanting sex whether male or female isn't bad. Using lies, coercion, and manipulation to get sex IS bad. Yes, men are shamed for having sexual desires. Im a man and when I say things like "i want to know what a first date is like, or a first kiss, having love and romance." You are shamed for wanting romance? And a woman like you, always says "oh so you want…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 04:23 PM
–

Yes, which is why it doesn't remotely reflect real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 04:16 PM
–

That is just on the Internet bud.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 04:11 PM
–

Or people could just be real...what a thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 04:06 PM
–

Are you ok?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 04:03 PM
–

So they are both the same. So "average guys" are using "kindness" to get laid?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 03:56 PM
–

So "Chads" are morally bad and just using women. "Average guys" genuinely want to be kind, get to know women as people, and then explore sex with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 03:53 PM
–

How is direct quotes something he didn't mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 03:49 PM
–

they're acting nice to get into your pants too. Why is this so hard to comprehend for many people? So your initial premise is that guys are "shamed" for having sexual desires, and people wrongly "assume" that they are just trying to trick a woman into having sex when they are nice or ask to spend time with them. Then you LITERALLY go on to validate that men are only pretending to be nice to get sex. So essentially, women are nothing more than an object to be used. Before you post a debate, you s…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 03:46 PM
3

Thats actually not what that refers to, but that isn't really important to the conversation. I guess if quality or longevity isn't something that is desired then it doesn't really matter to men like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 03:41 PM
2

Can you expound further please?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 03:30 PM
5

Because youth doesn't create great sex, and women usually hit their sexual peak in their 30s and 40s.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 03:26 PM
5

Yeah sadly, but it also shows how little they know about women and sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 03:13 PM
2

The best quality sex has by far been my late 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 03:07 PM
4

I don't have a type and never have. I was sexually attracted to him, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 03:07 PM
2

I readily seek intimacy with my husband as well. However my level of stress and responsibility is wildly different now than when I was 19 or 20. With that being said, no one could ever come close to the sex that we have together.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 03:03 PM
7

A ONS is wildly different than a LTR. They are not interchangeable, and if you are looking for one the other is not going to be a satisfactory replacement. why do so many women believe it is okay to make a man who expresses a desire for a long term relationship, to work harder at experiencing intimacy with them, than they would a hook up? What exactly do you mean? In a LTR/marriage, you give WAY more of yourself to your partner than you do a ONS. You also deal with real life together, and real l…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 02:28 PM
10

So then why not just say that you don't care if she has high income? The other perspective that my husband has had is that he is relieved by the fact that if anything happens to him he knows I can provide for myself and our kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 01:10 PM
9

So you do care that she is driven, ambitious, and has goals?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 01:07 PM
13

I didn’t say all I need is for you to be attractive. Nobody wants to date a bimbo. Your statement was "I just needs to be attractive to me, our personalities and world views should somewhat match, and that’s it." Also, just because someone doesn’t have a good career, that doesn’t mean they can’t be intelligent. I absolutely agree. But unless I misunderstood or it wasn't very clear, you don't seem to care if a woman has drive, ambition, or goals.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 12:56 PM
15

Generally speaking men tend to care less about these things. I have met very few men who only care about appearance (unless it's just a ONS), and who don't care if a woman has drive, ambition, goals, etc. She just needs to be attractive to me, our personalities and world views should somewhat match, and that’s it. So the biggest thing is physical attractiveness...how will that be maintained long term? If that is the only real "substance" (since you only need to be somewhat similar on personality…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 12:50 PM
9

I want the same things now that I wanted then, I've just lost my rose tinted glasses and see things for what they really are.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 12:17 PM
0

A best friend is a friend with whom you have a looooong history of shared experiences. Wouldn't that also be a spouse by default?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 11:19 PM
1

What do you consider the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 10:22 PM
0

How can you have that connection without being extremely close friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 09:52 PM
1

Because emotional connection is absolutely crucial imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 08:43 PM
2

There is a HUGE, like WORLD'S APART, difference in pursuit and rape. Ignoring consent or continuing with clearly expressed unwanted physical/sexual acts has absolutely nothing to do with pursuing someone. Just like rape isn't a byproduct of confusion regarding pursuit; in all actuality rape is about control, not sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 08:26 PM
-1

Definitely not.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 08:21 PM
–

Are you wealthy?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 12:41 AM
–

No I don't think either of those things are ok. However I do also realize that the majority of people do not meet the wealthy criteria of a net worth of 2.2 million. So your argument doesn't hold up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 10:57 AM
1

These specifically refer to rich people, which most of us don't even encounter. It is also basing it on charitable giving, cutting people of in traffic, etc. I'm not sure about the one with empathy for childhood cancer, because I have never personally witnessed a wealthy person who had no issues with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 01:28 AM
1

Citations?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 01:16 AM
1

My first time was awful. And sex now is way better than it ever was back then.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 01:34 PM
3

You have a right to that opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 09:42 AM
5

You're a big girl, you can take it on the chin. I was just pointing it out, it doesn't bother me because I know it isn't true. My point is that older married women being such a big fetish perhaps is evidence that older women aren't necessarily unattractive because of their age alone (even if Father Time isn't that kind to any of us); they're less desired rather more because men fear that especially single older women are seeking security, not love or even at least lust anymore. I find this inter…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 04:48 AM
6

Obviously used goods... What an interesting way to describe married women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 04:00 AM
3

Agreed. Which is why I'm not seeing the point of OPs statement (or false correlations).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 03:44 PM
3

Yes by mid 20s it would be expected to make more than minimum wage And since rudeness is positively correlated with being able to make larger amounts of money (needed to pay for a home), that explains the phenomena of somewhat or very overtly rude guys dating. They have no choice, because niceness is positively correlated to being low income they can't pick nice guys. These are literally empirical facts, measured by social psychology research, that niceness is correlated with being low income. W…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 02:41 PM
1

You really should read up on physiology so you know what you are talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 02:35 AM
4

You have got to be kidding right? Seriously?! So I take it you have no mortgage, ft job, kids, etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 02:34 AM
13

Sometimes there are stressful times that legitimately decrease libido for both partners. And for what it's worth, stress lowers my husbands libido and normal levels raise mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 11:25 PM
0

Ok I see what you are saying now, thank you for clarifying.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 10:06 PM
0

Correct, but the other consequences negate the argument that females should not have to use condoms. Is the argument about not needing condoms in general or just men need to be the ones using them?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 09:59 PM
5

Pregnancy is not the only possible consequence.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 09:55 PM
1

I'll take comfortable over exciting any day. Exciting is planning a trip or doing a fun outing, not drama.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 09:52 PM
1

That perception that they don't need men is very real. You are correct. I can provide for myself, take care of myself, etc. The thing is, if I'm going to be in a relationship, it is because I WANT to be, not because I HAVE to be. Wouldn't you rather someone genuinely want to be with you vs trapped into staying with you? They don't have to make a choice. They can have it both ways. They can have a child and ship it off to daycare then to school and then to college. The entire system is automated.…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 07:27 AM
–

Perhaps if you stopped ranking women's worth on a 10 point scale of looks alone you would be better off....
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 02:14 PM
–

Thats exactly what you did, and you specifically asked how I felt about working in an office. Apparently your argument hinges on working on a roof in July. Do even the majority of men work outside in your opinion? Are outside jobs the only jobs that are demanding?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 01:26 PM
1

Well I have never worked in an office, so I wouldn't know. My job is indoors, but has a high mental and physical demand.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 12:28 PM
1

Your logic is flawed.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 12:22 PM
1

Evidence to back this up?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 01:39 AM
0

You are a roofer? To my knowledge, the level of physical demand of our career doesn't equate with "easy mode" in life. I work full time, pay my own debts, and I'm not sure what funding you are referring to. You do realize that men don't have more taken out of their check for taxes right?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 09:42 PM
2

As a woman, I would love to know when I get to switch over to "easy mode" 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 08:17 PM
1

Since "the wall" is universal according to some men with this ideology, does that mean that all women 30+ have bad personalities?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 08:11 PM
0

You do realize the internet isn't real life right?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 01:45 PM
1

I don't think just because you see it on Reddit or I guess TikTok that that makes it true. I still have never once heard that particular rationale in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 11:49 AM
1

That he pays because she is wearing makeup?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 06:43 PM
1

Exactly, so as I previously said, both can exist at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 01:38 PM
4

You keep trying to make them mutually exclusive and they aren't. I'm not going to wear what I am not comfortable with to please a man period.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 01:30 PM
3

So a woman cannot dress within her comfort zone but also put effort into showing the man she cares about that he is worth the extra effort?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 01:24 PM
3

Either they do it for men, or for themselves. Can't change it according to convenience These two things are not mutually exclusive. I can dress nicer within my own style and put effort into looking attractive for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 01:21 PM
4

They absolutely shouldn't. They have their own lives and don't exist to please men. I agree completely. Just don't bullshit about how "the man is supposed to pay for the full date coz my makeup costs time and money". You do that shit for yourself and not to appease us I have never heard this argument outside of Reddit. You are correct, I wear makeup for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 01:19 PM
6

Many contemporary female fashion trends do not adhere to most men's preferences at all, e.g. tattoos, nose rings, baggy pants, sneakers, fake nails etc. Tattoos and piercings really aren't trends, and if someone is only getting tattoos especially because it's "cool" or for a man that is a problem. You are correct, my tattoos are for me alone, but very few men I have met in my adult life find tattoos repulsive. Baggy pants.... I'm gonna wear sweatpants if I want to chilling at home or even just r…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 12:57 PM
2

I would disagree to a certain degree. Some women genuinely do want sex just as much if not more than the average man. The love and affection gives them the freedom to be vulnerable.
/r/MensRights26/07/24 01:49 PM
0

Sex is a need for women as well. Absolutely. I am a woman who feels loved through sex. And especially don’t say that men need sex but women need love. All that does is degrade men and paint us as “inferior”, but conversely portray women as morally “superior” and more “mature.” This is not always gender specific, but still has truth to it. Sex and and intimacy are very different. women can be just as carnal and perverted. Yes they can. But I can say I know multiple women who are genuinely content…
/r/MensRights26/07/24 01:48 PM
1

Sometimes alcohol can imply hope of sex. Not saying you do that, just saying some men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 12:24 PM
2

So what would you say to someone who chose a partner simply out of desire, not need?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 12:23 PM
1

Ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 12:18 PM
1

True, but generally meeting up for drinks at a bar implies alcohol.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 10:27 AM
2

Because I would want to be 100% clear headed, not to mention drinks tend to give the perception of wanting more than just getting to know someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 10:11 AM
3

Why would a woman want to drink with you on a first date rather than go on a daytime date?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 09:36 AM
2

Agreed, it should just never be at the beginning of talking to/dating someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 02:25 PM
2

It is detremental to introduce someone into a child's life and then have them disappear. Vetting someone for a few months before meeting their child is completely reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 02:18 PM
8

Perhaps....crazy idea I know...men and women are capable of having unrealistic expectations 🤯
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 01:58 PM
1

It’s also why women have such stupid “icks” and general beliefs of men, they often hear this from other women, and are afraid to call it out or challenge the beliefs, because it’s “in group” Such as?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 11:59 AM
1

I provide love, support, taking care of my family (husband and children), financial contribution, great sex (not birthday vagina), running the household, etc etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 12:50 AM
3

Choose your surroundings better? Isn't that the entire premise of choosing our friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 05:17 PM
6

Haha most people are chill? I don't think you know how catty a lot of women can be.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 12:46 AM
13

That would also correlate with expected decrease with age, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 12:27 PM
3

So true!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 11:51 PM
1

I was trying to understand your perspective, not debate. I had not heard this perspective, so I was curious, but if doing so is perceived as not agreeable then I will not continue. I'm pleased with those traits in myself, and they are traits that my husband was very attracted to. I understand that different men are attracted to different things, and that is fine.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 08:54 PM
1

In fact, it requires what have traditionally been more masculine traits such as confidence, ambition and determination/hustle. Why do you consider these masculine traits? A pretty woman can certainly achieve career success, but she could enter the winner's circle based upon her beauty alone. I guess it depends on what career she is in. A career where success is based on beauty alone would not be something I would consider successful, but that is my opinion. Human nature being what it is, there i…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 04:31 PM
67

This post highlights just how far this sub is from reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 03:10 PM
4

What are you saying ok to?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:40 PM
5

If you wanna deny that happens or its micro, go ahead, but you can't straight faced deny it's undesirable, worthless and ineligible to be taken seriously as a lover. I can absolutely straight face deny it. "In an adult, the average stretched penile length is about 13.24 cm (5.21 in.)Trusted Source. An adult micropenis is a stretched penile length of 9.32 cm (3.67 in.) or less." Perhaps if women are laughing, dumping you, calling you "micro", etc over being 1.05cm less than average and 1.87cm abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:37 PM
1

My fellow female professionals were high in intellect and earning potential. I was happy to 'settle' for a woman who was far more attractive, feminine and supportive. May I ask why you seem to present high intellect and earning potential as mutually exclusive from attractive, feminine, and supportive? Some professional men are 'chosen' by fellow professional women. These men aren't out playing the field and being blue-pilled, are somewhat oblivious to their worth. Also, unless I'm misunderstandi…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 02:25 PM
7

Where are you getting the idea that 4.8 inches is "basically micro"?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:19 PM
–

The median individual income in the US is right around $49,960. It would be extremely difficult to support a family on that income in most parts of the country.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 01:06 PM
1

He needs to earn $10k a month?! What reality are you living in?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 01:46 AM
1

Literally never felt that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 12:29 AM
1

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-road-to-infidelity-passes-through-multiple-sexual-partners What study is that, I recall reading that pair bonding has a much more negative psychological effect on women than it does on men, even though promiscuity is bad for both genders, it is worse for the female gender than it is for the male gender. This operates under the assumption that men can separate sex, love, and intimacy and women cannot. I assure you, this is a largely false stereotype. Edit: For the p…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/24 09:38 AM
0

Not according to the studies this sub screams from the rooftop. The studies specific that men AND women have an increase in cheating from 1 in 10 to 2 in 10 with an increase in previous partners. Genuinely asking, what do you think is the difference in psychological effect?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/24 09:34 AM
0

21% isnt closer to 3 out of 10, but men need to also hold themselves to the same standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 11:34 PM
0

But when you really think about it, how significant is 2 out of 10 instead of 1 out of 10? The way they talk about it you would swear it jumps to 7 or 8 out of 10. And they also conveniently ignore that the studies are for men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 04:43 PM
1

Whoa! I would be pissed if someone woke me up on a work night!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 09:16 AM
2

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-road-to-infidelity-passes-through-multiple-sexual-partners
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 03:02 AM
1

Statistics don't even support that. Men and women with a higher count have a 2 in 10 probability of cheating/divorcing, as opposed to 1 in 10 for virgins/those with low counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 02:58 AM
2

He didn't have me at my worst, he just understood the past isn't the present or the future. He could understand that not everything is how it initially appears. And lo and behold, he was right.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 02:52 AM
1

In your opinion. I didn't chose trauma, but I sure as hell overcame it against all odds, and I'm thankful I have a real man by my side.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 02:37 AM
3

You sure? Because in real life no one would believe I have a past (they would probably laugh hysterically at the possibility because it would be so unbelievable) and I am genuinely happy to be with the same man for almost 18 years. Oh and before it is suggested that money was involved...we were both making $12/he when we got married.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 02:32 AM
-1

I would acknowledge that the deep trauma that led to it was very detrimental.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 02:25 AM
-1

Yes, and I had started turning my life around when we met. Edit: yes he knew everything, I never hid it or mislead him.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 01:19 AM
1

Yes, we definitely chose trauma, shame on us! I've been with the same man for pushing two decades and raised two amazing teenagers. I can honestly say I don't even look at other men, and my husband is the only one I want.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 01:14 AM
5

And what exactly is that "same outcome"? You do realize you don't have to stay stuck in your choices right?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 01:12 AM
5

There are a lot of us that suffered various trauma that led to the choices we made, and no matter what we overcome and how much we change we are still told how "low value" we are. I made a lot of really poor choices, but I turned my life around and decided I wasn't willing to die for my choices. I have been with the same man for almost 18 years, have two amazing teenagers, an accomplished career, etc. My husband and I started at the bottom and built our lives to what we have today.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 12:56 AM
1

Agree, but it is extremely rare that one spouse is amazing and one is zero effort. There is usually a lot more to it than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 12:34 AM
1

Yes, there is a higher propensity for sure, but there are a lot of women with spontaneous desire and men with responsive. I think societal conditioning makes them believe something is wrong with them because of it so it is not talked about out of shame.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 02:43 PM
1

I don't even know what you mean by that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 02:01 PM
-2

And my statement still stands. If you believe that a marriage is outside of your realm of responsibility, then you should remain single.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 01:54 PM
1

It blows my mind that the men who say they have a "right" to ignore their wife/partner if it suits them, or if she didn't do exactly what he wanted, etc are the same men who are shocked their wife/partner loses a desire to have sex with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 01:43 PM
1

It’s your basic right as a man to ignore whoevers not serving you if you deem it appropriate. Again as long as no one’s left in danger by you ignoring them you’re alright. It might be silly or even seen as immature or manipulative but as a man your best tool in the SMP is your attention. Just like its women's basic right to not have sex with a man who will ignore her unless he gets exactly what he wants when he wants and how he wants. If you believe it is your "basic right" to treat your spouse/…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 01:38 PM
4

I agree, though spontaneous desire isn't limited to men and responsive desire is not limited to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 11:50 AM
2

Yes, but you have to get off the Internet and into the real world. Just out of curiosity, if you do not believe men and women are equal in value, who do you believe has more? Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 11:32 AM
26

A woman being too tired for sex is not a lack of empathy, just like a man being too tired for sex is not a lack of empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 11:18 AM
9

You are being obtuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 01:46 AM
8

Which is why I said in rights AND worth. Worth as human beings. Fullfilling different roles doesn't mean more or less worthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 01:18 AM
13

If you do not understand the difference between equal in rights and worth and being the exact same in physical composition and anatomy then I don't know how to explain it in a way you would better understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 01:01 AM
9

Equal in values and rights doesn't mean "exactly the same."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 12:10 AM
1

Agreed!
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/24 12:04 AM
5

it seems as if all men understandably want virgins to have families with. I don’t hold that against them but I do wonder what’s left for me in terms of options. It feels like the only man who would be attracted to me at this point would be a non-traditional guy with bad values like sex positivity or just low standards in general. Sure there are some men who would stick to their guns about whatever they insist their standards are, but there are also plenty of men who are able to see that you are …
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/24 06:19 PM
5

He has to be loyal and never cheat as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 12:42 PM
2

False. Also the statistic you all love falling back on literally state that with a higher body count, the chance of cheating/divorce for MEN AND WOMEN goes from 1 in 10 to 2 in 10.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 12:26 PM
0

That is delusional. Just like the argument that a woman with a past "will cheat at the first argument."
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 12:23 PM
2

Are you also a virgin?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 12:22 PM
3

You don't seem to recognize that unless someone is looking to have kids or has an obsession with age, women really don't have a hard time attracting men past the supposed "wall."
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 11:54 AM
1

"Don't bring up marriage or kids, and don't cook for him or you'll seem desperate. Act mysterious, and lure him in. Trick him into committing to you" I'm someone who's very straightforward and gets annoyed at the social games that neurotypical people play. I have ADHD, so I guess not totally neurotypical, but I think this is awful advice! Be real, be upfront with what your goals are and what you are looking for in a relationship. I want to be very clear from the start: I want marriage, and if I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 11:35 AM
1

You are talking about a $20-30 difference max. Perhaps he should be honest if he doesn't have the funds.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 01:59 AM
–

That wasn't sarcasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 02:11 PM
–

Every time I read a post like this I think about how sad it must be to actually believe this and understand why those who do are so bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 01:59 PM
1

A fast food meal can now run you about $10, a coffee $5-12, while a sit down restaurant can be any where from $25ish up. I would not consider a sit down restaurant fine dining, but why in the world would someone go out and hand someone a card they know will get declined? That isn't "confidence in wealth" it is basic consumer math. As far as tipping, that isn't a "test of financial stability." The person you are tipping depends on their income, and anyone with common decency understands that a ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 01:11 PM
3

Fair point. I know mine enjoys when I come on strong, but then struggles the times he isn't in the mood; the rest of the time he loves it.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 01:55 AM
3

I think this can be hard, because most men (mine included) ALSO still want you to initiate...like how in the world do you balance both?!
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 01:04 AM
1

To each his own. I value contentment a lot more and the hamster wheel mentality repulses me You misunderstand my meaning. Contentment IS a great thing we should strive for, and the hamster wheel mentality is not healthy. However contentment with doing the bare minimum in any of our endeavors (not just work) is not the same time of contentment. Most people don't have careers. They never did and never will. Most people have a job. I have a career, as most of the adults I know. How do you different…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 10:12 AM
1

I have no idea why you have such a disdain for higher education, but to each their own. So it was about the job. That's why you felt attacked. Such a Protestant thing to do. Note I did not say that is the only area of self improvement. I am constantly working to improve in multiple areas....I don't personally believe that we should be content without doing our best. But why would it even be a negative to have a career you are passionate about? It is possible. But it is less possible (and usually…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 09:53 AM
1

Of course, my answer is also colored by my overall mindset - which holds the Academia in absolute contempt and regards non-STEM professors as straight up the Enemy of civilization. Why? So, from that perspective, going to school in one's 30s instead of raising children is a Moscow-parade of red flags, not just toxic. Why do you assume I did that instead of raising children? I actually have two teenagers. I went back to school once my kids were older and well established in school to further the …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 09:28 AM
1

Hell, I went back to school to advance my degree in my mid 30s. Terrible example. The mindset behind it is usually toxic. What is toxic about it? The grind is not a good thing nor a reward in itself. Nobody has on his/her gravestone "this person made the line go up and produced value for the shareholders". Why must self improvement be about a job only? Why are dedication and determination not good things? I'm so glad I never picked up that mindset. I ended up wealthier than those who did, lol. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 09:13 AM
0

I kind of feel for such women you know? Their life priorities may have changed, but they are being dragged into a vicious cycle of casual sex nevertheless. The playboy she is seeing will not commit to her. Or keep her as one of his 'soft harems'. The commitment guy, if he gets a wind of her past, will probably not hesitate to ghost her either. There are plenty of good guys looking for commitment who either don't have double standards or understand your past doesn't define you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 01:03 AM
1

Perhaps we read different posts. This is what I read... Understanding Sexism: "Hostile Sexism: Overtly negative attitudes and behaviors toward women, such as believing women are less competent than men. Benevolent Sexism: Attitudes about women that seem positive in tone (e.g., women should be cherished) but nonetheless connote inferiority to women based on fragility, lack of competence, or need of help and protection. Example: Paying on Dates As a man who values gender equality, I have noticed t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 12:09 AM
1

I am saying that men cherishing their wives is not sexism.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 11:08 PM
1

It's not even the majority.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 01:17 PM
4

Some women, not all.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 12:55 PM
4

No, plenty of us did it through hard work and integrity.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 10:40 AM
–

Keep on sucking as a human being then. No wonder you are so bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 10:26 AM
6

So if someone is happy being an asshole, they should stay that way? If someone is happy being emotionally or verbally cruel/abusive they should stay that way? What about impulsive? The list goes on and on. It's kind of sad honestly that the only version of improving yourself you can see is with work.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 10:00 AM
5

EVERYONE, men and women, should be continuing to improve themselves. Hell, I went back to school to advance my degree in my mid 30s. Why? I don't want that grind mentality to take over the world. You don't want people to improve themselves? You would rather people be content with whatever deficits, character flaws, etc that they have? Content to never grow?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 09:56 AM
9

Wanting someone that is moral, hard working, and driven is NOT the same thing. Tate: "Gotta embrace THE GRIND, never stop improving yourself" Women: "Do you have something going for you, have you tried improving yourself?" EVERYONE, men and women, should be continuing to improve themselves. Hell, I went back to school to advance my degree in my mid 30s. Tate: "Gotta get those greens, what color is your Bugatti?" Women: "Do you have a career you are passionate about? Women like men with ambition …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 09:32 AM
1

What makes you think other men who cherish their wives don't feel the same way?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 09:07 AM
1

I think it was great that he was honest, but with that being said I would not give up my dream. You have only seen him three times; if it's meant to be it will happen, and compatibility with someone also included your goals and ambitions.
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/24 11:53 PM
1

My husband actually enjoys making coffee for me, and he does the cooking (by choice, he actually likes it lol), but I spoil him in other ways such as a back or shoulder massage, tokens of appreciation, doing nice things to take stress off, and doing small things to show him I'm thinking of him. For example, on vacation I found chocolate covered bacon and you would have thought he just won the lottery 😊
/r/RedPillWives14/07/24 11:45 PM
1

I guess, but again, I would also recommend being involved with higher caliber women. I served my husband with a separation agreement despite his success, and am currently reconciling with him despite my success.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 08:00 PM
1

I guess, but again, I would also recommend being involved with higher caliber women. I served my husband with a separation agreement despite his success, and am currently reconciling with him despite my success.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 08:00 PM
1

I guess, but again, I would also recommend being involved with higher caliber women. I served my husband with a separation agreement despite his success, and am currently reconciling with him despite my success.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 08:00 PM
1

I guess, but again, I would also recommend being involved with higher caliber women. I served my husband with a separation agreement despite his success, and am currently reconciling with him despite my success.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 08:00 PM
1

Just to clarify, are you saying a woman doesn't really break up with a man who is successful?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 07:53 PM
4

Benevolent Sexism: Attitudes about women that seem positive in tone (e.g., women should be cherished) but nonetheless connote inferiority to women based on fragility, lack of competence, or need of help and protection. My husband cherishes me because he loves me, I add value to his life, and I am the mother of his children, etc. It is not due to fragility, incompetence, helplessness, or protection; he knows I am completely capable of taking care of myself independently.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 06:56 PM
2

My only preference has been taller than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 03:13 AM
2

Believe it or not, we are all attracted to different physical types.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 02:33 AM
1

I know y'all seem to believe all women are all about hypergamy, but there are so many of us who aren't like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 02:33 AM
1

It would depend on values, interests, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 02:30 AM
1

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 02:03 AM
6

No, I would truthfully never pick a partner solely on appearance, height, money, etc. Contrary to what is wildly promoted here, women want actual partners with real personality, compassion, love, interests, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 12:54 AM
1

There are too many variables. Is he making less because he is lazy? Doesn't have good work ethic, won't make responsible choices, etc? For the vast majority of our marriage my husband has outearned me by probably 50-75% roughly (we started making the same income). This year I finished advancing my education and now make probably 15-20% more than him. Literally nothing about our dynamic changed. We built our lives from the ground up.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 06:37 PM
5

If both work 40 hrs then you look at demand, not income.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 04:51 PM
8

It should be based on how many hours you work, how demanding your job is, etc not how much your check is.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 02:10 PM
1

I would recommend selecting better women, but that is besides the point. If a woman is not willing to consider a man with a strong work ethic and good income because it's not "xyz" dollar amount then she is questionable at best. In what way do women not have the same expectations? Cost of living is sky high, and if something happens to your husband you have to be able to provide for yourself and your children.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 02:39 AM
2

It is so disgusting that your whole premise is monogamy means you don't love sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 02:32 AM
1

If one person is not enjoying sex then perhaps it's something other than just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 07:58 PM
10

I got married in my 20s, but never would have picked a man who would not be faithful as he "increased in value."
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 07:39 PM
1

Two consenting adults is one thing, but sadly if women speak of enjoying something, some men feel like it doesn't have to be discussed first.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 07:35 PM
5

This is such an exhausting debate. Wanting a man taller than yourself is not abnormal as men are statistically taller than women. Gold diggers don't represent most women. And status is not equal with income.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 07:32 PM
0

Online, women hate the idea of the social and sexual dynamic between men and women... and how men use sex in a dominating manner towards women. In real life, I haven't met a single woman that wasn't into rough and dominant sex. In the cases, where I actually was trying to be nice and not objectify the women, they jumped on my bones and asked me to perform dominant sex on them and to be rough with them. There is a huge difference between being dominated without consent and being dominated with co…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 07:26 PM
1

My bad, apparently I misread, sorry about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 07:19 PM
1

Who said anything about duty sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 07:14 PM
4

So if I won't use my partner I don't love sex? If I want mutually satisfying sex with the man I love then I don't love sex? So if I wouldn't want to cheat on my partner I don't love sex? What kind of twisted mindset is this?!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 03:51 PM
3

I said I would not be a selfish lover. You do realize selfish lover is not a requirement for loving sex right?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 03:46 PM
7

No I absolutely love sex, I just ALSO love pleasing my husband. I swear women can't win. If you are a pillow princess you are boring. If you are an enthusiastic participant than you don't love sex and just do it for him🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 03:39 PM
9

What do you mean? I would never be selfish about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 03:34 PM
6

They do not, if you remove everything around the sex and keep only the act alone they won't do it, what basically shows that they do not love sex as an act just what it bring to them. I am a woman who absolutely LOVES sex, and I love bringing my husband pleasure. Plenty of women love sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 03:25 PM
10

Respectfully, this isn't tough love, but disrespect.
/r/RedPillWives12/07/24 03:22 PM
2

For instance, women want a man who aligns politically and economically, but that is it as far as relationships go. We agree on some politics but not all. Economically we both started at the bottom. Having values in common is important, but so is having common interests. Without common interests you will have nothing to do together recreationally, which also bonds you together.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 02:02 PM
6

I think him calling her stupid shows he needs to do some work to be a true leader.
/r/RedPillWives12/07/24 01:54 PM
2

Satisfying sex and unsatisfying sex. Those who didn't were more worried about themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 12:36 PM
2

I didn't buy into any lie. The only man who has truly pleased me was the one who genuinely wanted to and wanted to take the time to learn my body. Unfortunately, partners genuinely enthusiastically wanting to please the person they are with is not that common.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 12:21 PM
3

I have been with men who have had extensive experience, and they had no idea how to please me and didn't want to listen because of all their "expertise." It's really not a head start. Everyone, men and women, like different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 12:16 PM
3

Enthusiastically wanting to please your partner is hot, and so is wanting to learn what works for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 12:11 PM
2

Anatomy does not always work the same, so a guy having to be told or shown is perfectly fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 12:08 PM
2

Passion for what you do doesn't mean you want to work for free, nor should it. Why do you think that a woman who has a career she is passionate about would not prioritize the well-being of her family?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 10:00 PM
3

Why do you assume that ambitious women are just after money, status, etc? Why can it not be that they genuinely have a passion for what they do?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 09:36 PM
5

I would stay single.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 09:15 PM
5

Being with a woman who is driven and ambitious is not a bad thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 07:38 PM
4

It's been talked about on here before how a lot of women cannot lock down the guys they are attracted to so they settle for guys they aren't because they will stick around and help raise a family. I wish I knew where this comes from and why it's so pervasive. A few women do not define all of us. However, do guys ever mention this or even confront the women they are with about just having duty sex only and not willing to be open-minded to be more passionate? We got married when we both made $12/h…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 12:34 AM
–

In previous discussions men insisted that divorce is not an option and unfair to them so the only solution is cheating. Do you agree with this? If your wife doesn’t want a divorce do you think you have to stay with her or can you still get a divorce? Wonder if those same men think it's ok for wives in dead bedrooms to cheat?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 09:43 PM
–

No, some women just genuinely are not attracted to that type of man.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 08:35 PM
–

Lol yes, it loses something when I break out in hives!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 08:20 PM
–

Haha I like the scents, but my allergies do not!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 08:16 PM
–

Do y’all really only fuck with “chad” and super models are the only look for a guy that turns y’all on? "Chads" actual turn me off, but I digress. Facial features, hairstyle, beard, muscles, height, skin color, smell, dick size etc. No specific facial features, hair/skin color, dick size, etc. The only thing I ever preferred about height is taller than me, smell is set as someone who values basic hygiene, muscle wise again strong enough to be able to be rough with me in the right context, prefer…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 07:22 PM
0

I don't insert myself where I'm not wanted. Relationships shouldn't be about not being able to function without someone, but not wanting to be without them. I don't need my husband, but I want to do life with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 12:16 PM
2

Probably just RP around their male friends for the "cool factor."
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 12:20 AM
6

Idk, I have seen a lot of the RP marriage dynamic posts.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 10:22 PM
4

I guess I meant how do they hide the overall viewpoint about women being submissive, less than men in relationships, etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 09:43 PM
3

The best advice I got was that you have to act like you have options and that you don’t really need her approval. Any woman worth anything will happily allow you to be on your way if you want to flaunt how you don't need her and have plenty of other options. The problem is, I’ve lost way too many women by being too ‘nice’ or ‘non sexual’ or just acting in a way that shows I don’t have the ability to just discard her and get a replacement. What delusional line of thinking makes you believe women …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 09:42 PM
6

RP sees relationship dynamics in a very specific way (submission, working, division of labor, etc). So how do they hide their views?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 09:34 PM
4

That's sad. How do they know address the relationship dynamic aspect?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 09:26 PM
4

But they hide their RedPill views from their gf/wives?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 09:23 PM
4

Don't they think it will come out in relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 09:21 PM
1

Yeah I could see how it could benefit in some discussions specifically with my husband, but definitely not parenting, at work, day to day, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/24 11:27 PM
2

Genuinely asking... wouldn't this be inappropriate in most day to day context?
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/24 11:49 AM
1

Why slightly aroused?
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/24 01:03 PM
1

I am genuinely sorry.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 12:12 AM
2

Oh gotcha. Idk I've met some pretty boring, passive women lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 07:40 PM
4

Why do you think nearly all men are boring, passive, untalented, etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 07:17 PM
3

The standards I hold men to are the same standards I hold myself to, and they don't have anything to do with appearance or money.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 05:29 PM
1

Have you evaluated why you have ED? Medical reasons? High blood pressure? Diabetes? Lifestyle? Psychological? Too much porn/masturbation? You have gone anti-feminist because you have ED?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 05:28 PM
3

So much truth!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 01:29 PM
1

HOWEVER, if you are a "good" woman, with a low n-count, attractive, young, cooperative personality A "good" woman is one who has integrity, is faithful, supports and builds up her husband, hard working (whether than is inside or outside the home), attractive TO HIM, and has a personality HE likes (not every man is attracted to passive, always cooperative, etc). Your husband looking to other women is NOT preventable no matter how "good" you are initially were For starters, you mean are, not were.…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 11:31 AM
4

Women just want men to conform to the traditional gender roles that benefit women (stoic, willing to commit violence for her benefit, high income, tough, competitive, dominant fearless) and discard the traditional gender roles that do not benefit women (misogyny, anger issues, abandoning women after sex, promiscuous, violent towards her, unwilling to help with household chores or childcare, etc). Wow, women don't want a man with anger issues who beats her, cheats on her, uses her for sex, and ne…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 11:08 AM
2

Why can't a woman do both? Or a husband and wife support each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 01:24 PM
4

I would much prefer someone I started from the bottom with and built our life together.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 01:22 PM
–

RP "improves" things for men by the belief that women should be calm, agreeable, submissive, stay at home (no income, no way out), give him sex when he wants, never question his "leadership," only give opinions when asked, dress how he wants, act how he wants, speak like he wants. I can't imagine why women aren't lining up to sign up for this.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 08:42 PM
–

The best sex is indeed learned, and men and women are all unique. I am happy to (and very much do) share with my husband what I enjoy, my fantasies, what I would like to try, what works/doesn't work and why, etc. I agree great sex is not intrinsic. However, a desire to genuinely please your partner should be, and there is no amount of teaching that can compensate for selfishness.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 02:52 PM
–

I'm very sex positive, but my previous comment still stands. They don't focus on foreplay, oral, fingers, etc they simply think what they bring to the table will automatically satisfy any woman and that couldn't be further from the truth. Lol is this meant to alleviate mens insecurities? Why do you think women would want disappointing sex? I promise, there is NO penis size that negates the need for sexual arousal and a desire to please your partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 12:45 PM
–

Perhaps the argument is more "penis size doesn't matter in the manner you (or popular view) think it does." Would I be satisfied with a micropenis (under two inches erect)? Unfortunately not. Do I prefer average (5.0-5.6 in erect) or even slightly below? Absolutely!! Men with larger (6-8in) penises have NEVER been a good experience for me. That is not to say they can't be, but what I and the women I have been close to have found is they rely on their size and nothing more. They don't focus on fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 11:37 AM
5

I don't really have any advice, but I can related. I was with one man in the past who both said and believed this. He told me that he knew what I wanted better than I did, so he wasn't very interested (at all) in hearing what I actually liked. To me personally it is a red flag for someone who is really telling you it will be his way or no way, and his wants will always take priority over yours.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/24 11:25 AM
1

True, however there are a lot of people who cannot get that much life insurance (for example history of any health problems, etc). And it offers no protection whatsoever if he decides to divorce.
/r/RedPillWives20/05/24 05:40 PM
15

Imo a woman should have a skill/trade to fall back on if needed. Even with the best insurance policy, if something happens to him that money will not last forever. If he leaves, alimony will not be enough to live on.
/r/RedPillWives20/05/24 01:06 AM
1

Thanks.
/r/RedPillWives18/05/24 11:54 PM
1

I will try that. We may be splitting up anyway, but if he decides to give it another go at least I can put that into practice.
/r/RedPillWives18/05/24 11:28 PM
1

Open up more.
/r/RedPillWives18/05/24 12:32 PM
1

Ok I will check that book out, thank you! We realistically only are able to do 1 or 2 dates a month, so that give him about 8 months total to process lol.
/r/RedPillWives17/05/24 09:21 PM
1

I'm interested in knowing why this statement is down voted.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/24 02:47 AM
2

I would say first and foremost honest, trust, and safety in the relationship is crucial. How is it ok for a husband to lie about what he is doing, especially when he promised he wouldn't? A boundary is not controlling, and if a partner is not adhering to the agreed bounds of sexual monogamy then that is reasonable. It is not "withholding sex" as a punishment, it is saying I cannot be intimate if you are not adhering to what we agreed is faithfulness, and I cannot be intimate without safety and h…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/24 10:14 PM
2

Unfortunately most women don't have that option because it is rarely discussed honestly. Boundaries don't have to be nagging. If a woman has a completely reasonable boundary that her husband agrees to, then breaking the boundary can simply have natural consequences. For example "This hurts me because we agreed this was not a part of a monogamous relationship. I will not attempt to control you, but my boundary is that I cannot be intimate with you when you take away trust in the relationship." Op…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/24 10:09 PM
1

How do you know that though?
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/24 10:01 PM
2

It had more power because he was addicted to it, it didn't matter what I did.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/24 09:58 PM
1

Sometimes maybe modifications within your specific situation are beneficial. I’m clumsy, messy, and nerdy. I don’t really care about having my nails done and all that. I'm clumsy as well, but I have also had multiple ankle surgeries that have caused permanent damage. Sneakers are my go to, but I dress up when the situation is appropriate (church, dates, events). I just have to be creative because I can only handle certain types of heals. I keep my nails short, clean, and bare (I'm a nurse), but …
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/24 04:35 AM
2

Is it really controlling to have an expectation that your spouse in a monogamous marriage isn't getting off to other women? That he isn't giving his sexual energy to a screen and a fantasy that a real woman can't possibly live up to?
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/24 04:19 AM
1

Oh ok. I'm not sure I could completely put everything aside consistently; I could try, but he would definitely know it was fake (just from being with me for so long). I know when I come home from work I am usually quiet to avoid letting out the work shifts frustration and because I am quite literally spent. He also knows I struggle with depression over situations that unfortunately have no way of being fixed. Can it still work with situations like that?
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 09:12 PM
1

Calling men who express their feelings as pussy whipped and expecting them to maintain a hard version of masculinity is part of the reason why so many men kill themselves.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 08:27 PM
1

Thank you! I don't want to come across as difficult, because I genuinely am trying to understand! How are you still able to be yourself if you are always ready to meet his needs with a smile, always cheerful and cute, etc? I know that there are many days/times where I am struggling so doing that would be disingenuous for me if that makes sense? I guess I don't necessarily understand what you mean by him valuing your needs and feelings; do you mean keeping up the happy/cheerful appearance until h…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 08:25 PM
1

A man doesn't become soft by saying I love you daily to his wife or his kids. You can show love through acts and say it. In fact, discussing thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc isn't weak either. Being human isn't emasculating.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 06:09 PM
1

Do you believe most men are incapable of being assertive?
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 12:59 PM
1

I don't think it is possible to fullfill these roles 100% all the time, nor do I think you should strive to fullfill them all the time. Imo this requires a wife to set aside her personhood, her views, her needs, etc and live for the whole purpose of serving his spouse. It also minimizes a father's role in the lives of his children. She makes the food, keeps the man comfortable, and anticipates his needs. She is cute and upbeat, always ready with a smile. This would be an example imo of setting a…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 12:38 PM
3

Saying I love you regularly is weak? Why?
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 12:11 PM
1

That would definitely be the exception not the rule.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 11:59 AM
1

Do you feel that plenty of "I love you" is submissive and feminine?
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 11:31 AM
1

What is a soft man in your opinion?
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 11:28 AM
6

No PCOS or "outward" symptoms, but I also have high testosterone and cortisol. My mentality has always leaned toward more "masculine" (I want solutions, high sex drive, driven/ambitious, etc). I think a lot of it is personality too, so I'm not sure how much of a role hormones play. I am very nurturing in some ways, but overall not super feminine. I also have a very high stress career, but I love it. I don't really have answers unfortunately. Our dynamic is we were both miserable, but he is more …
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/24 07:02 AM
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