throw_away_211207 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
22	How do you build a new life without time or money?	throw_away_211207	/r/Divorce_Men	22/07/22 09:23 PM
10	How hard do you push for 50/50 when it’s not the default?	throw_away_211207	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/22 04:44 PM
5	How bad was your alimony settlement?	throw_away_211207	/r/Divorce_Men	24/05/22 05:54 PM
3	Property division - collectibles	throw_away_211207	/r/Divorce_Men	25/05/22 12:59 PM
2	Asking to meet ex’s new partner?	throw_away_211207	/r/Divorce_Men	27/08/22 11:02 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
10	My wife insists she is done, Take some time to gather evidence of her verbal abuse, parental neglect, and online activities. Try to get access to financial info, try to record her talking about how much she makes, and make sure you’re indemnifying yourself from a tax standpoint if she’s underreporting it. Many of us felt like we could save the relationship, and it’s worth trying to an extent. But at this point, she has one foot out the door, engages in a “job” that would feel like infidelity to many dudes, and shows you no …	/r/Divorce_Men	22/09/22 01:39 PM
1	How do you interpret this verse? As someone with some academic background in Biblical studies — ESV translation is not the commonly accepted one. Most translations say “your desire will be for your husband.” End of the day, not a passage to overthink. Whether taken literally or figuratively, Adam & Eve story is an effort to make sense of the human plight. General idea behind the “curse” is that things that should be positive/harmonious — work (the ground will “produce thorns and thistles”), child-bearing, man/woman relationship…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/09/22 04:46 PM
1	little pick me up? Happier with 1/3 the square footage and 35% of the income than I ever was with her. Best physical shape of my adulthood, closer to my friends than ever, and the women I’m getting attention from are younger + hotter (and I am just an average dude). Took a minute, but the kids realized who the stable parent was pretty quickly, and that relationship is in a great place too. I’m < 1 year into the process and almost finalized. Would never have believed so much could improve so quickly.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/08/22 09:00 PM
1	Asking to meet ex’s new partner? I have the kids 35% of the time on paper, more in practice. They vent to me about this situation frequently — I validate their feelings without trashing the ex, and I have them in therapy. I’d like to approach the ex first before engaging the SO, but want to mitigate negative fallout, especially for the kids. As my oldest told me, the ex “demands praise” from them for all her decisions, so I don’t want to put the kids in a bad spot by leading her to believe that they’ve told me what’s up (even t…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/08/22 04:10 AM
1	Asking to meet ex’s new partner? Yeah, but probably not very long given this turn of events.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/08/22 03:57 AM
1	What end goal do most woman see with false accusations Aside from the strategic things others summarize well, there can be an emotional component. As my therapist (who also had her as a client for a bit, long story) said — “she’s the kind of person who needs there to be a villain in the story, and she had to make it you, because no way in hell would she let it be her.” Ultimately, you’re dealing with someone who cares above all else about “winning” when these kinds of accusations are made. Take care of yourself by caring less about winning then by m…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/08/22 04:39 PM
3	Ugh it stings. Similar experience here — mine really stepped it up after separating, albeit for dubious reasons (impressing new partner/provider). Stings to know that the lack of cleanliness basically reflects how they felt about you — so prioritize not letting her feelings about you define your reality. You’re the prize. And all else equal, better for the kids if she steps it up, even if everything else about the situation sucks.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/08/22 04:13 PM
4	Dating Deal Breakers Right there with you — those are all basic parts of adulthood. I kick myself for NOT seeing some of these things as dealbreakers in my younger days — but seeing it now is part of maturing. Only thing from your list I might ease up on is the tidiness thing — generally being organized, yes, super important. But different intervals of cleaning, organization tactics, etc. suit different people depending on personality, competing priorities, and other factors. As someone who manages large teams in my…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/08/22 04:09 PM
4	How do you build a new life without time or money? Yeah, I’m paying out 40% of my net, and the debt is another 20%. I’ll also get burned pretty bad by tax status change — withholding has been married/kids (only way I could afford a lawyer was to keep it there), but I’ll have to file single come tax time, and if will be a 5-figure bill. So gotta save for that too. Good luck finding more work.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/07/22 04:09 AM
3	How do you build a new life without time or money? Yeah, sounds very similar, especially the can’t-make-plans-because-who-knows-what-she’ll-do part. Being able to reconnect with people my ex alienated has been one of the best parts of this for me. Hang in there	/r/Divorce_Men	23/07/22 03:58 AM
3	How do you build a new life without time or money? I hear ya — life is short, which is what I told myself while she continually racked up debt over the years (liquidated retirement assets a couple times to bail us out). But eventually the piper has to be paid, and it limits the fun that can be had. Also need to be able to provide for my kids, because she won’t (she always scorned me for saving for their college). To answer your question — she was always difficult. Stuck things out for the kids, and wanted finances to be in a better place before …	/r/Divorce_Men	23/07/22 03:55 AM