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throwaway505939 Archive

View 1 post and 18 comments by throwaway505939 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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10

throwaway505939/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 05:49 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

It is not mandatory. My ex has access to funds and a job. She’s asking for attorney’s fees because I make more but the initial ruling by the court was them asking for her to re-justify her ask because they didn’t understand it. If your ex has access to funds (that you can prove) and has income coming in, you may be able to get out of paying them. I believe in my case the judge wants us to settle so he set a date out to adjudicate the attorney’s fees 10 weeks from the initial hearing.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 11:46 PM
1

Currently looking at somewhere between $150k to $200k but it could go up significantly more if she gets a percentage of my bonus pay for years to come.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 01:39 PM
2

Thanks for the advice. I made a budget long ago to prepare, so it's time to implement it. I do have vested stock and unvested stock in private companies. The vested I expect to be split. Oddly enough, she claimed in her filing I could leverage those assets to pay her attorney's fees which didn't make a. lot of sense to me. Everything is temporary is definitely a motto to repeat.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 08:12 PM
1

There were a lot of reasons why I did it in the first place. All coming from a good, positive place. In hindsight, I should have protected myself better, but I can't think too much about that right now.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 05:56 PM
1

DM'd you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 05:47 PM
1

Totally hear you. My lawyer is guiding me through how to contextualize the nature of the relationship. I appreciate the push, I've already begun the fight.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 03:50 PM
1

Yep, the court date is scheduled. She served me on Mother's Day, of all days. I've got a lawyer and I've responded to her initial filing. I feel sorry for those dealing with lifetime maintenance. It really frustrates me that I have to give away what I'm going to, but the thought of paying her for life would be absolutely insane.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 02:37 PM
1

Thanks. We separated over 15 months ago but stayed living together because she was planning a move-out. I started working on them myself. I rarely drink. I go to the gym almost daily. I've been seeing a therapist. I've just been hit hard by the recent turn of events. Brighter days ahead, indeed.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 02:31 PM
1

Thanks for the support. I'm trying my best to avoid dwelling on the red flags or earlier exists I passed on, but it tends to hit me late at night or early in the morning. Accepting that her misrepresentation of our relationship won't matter in a California court is tough. I'll eventually get over it with time, but for now, I will fight.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 02:29 PM
1

If I had to guess, she's waiting for the temporary spousal support order and attorney fee decision (our court date is in July). She is likely planning a year in Los Angeles after that before heading back home. She can appear in court via Zoom, so I don't see her returning to the States until after that support hearing happens.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 12:39 AM
1

That's amazing. I'm really hoping the judge will consider a judgment that goes beyond the usual guidelines. My ex has left the country and is living back at home with no living expenses while planning a move to Santa Monica, hence the desire for as much money from me as possible. Fact remains that she is currently living at home with no expenses. She's still working remotely full-time but earns about 45% of what I earn (not including my commissions). In California, the guideline support typicall…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 12:03 AM
1

100%. It could be worse.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 11:54 PM
1

Yes. That's the guideline in California per my lawyer. I'm hoping they don't award her attorney's fees and I can try to carve out my bonuses from the support but that would be outside of the guidelines.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 11:47 PM
1

Thank you. I'm new to this process, so it's a bit daunting. However, comments like this make me feel better. I hope the judge sees through her shenanigans in some respect. My predicted alimony is $1500 a month plus 20-30% of the pre-tax amount of my commissions. That commission already gets hit hard by taxes.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 11:43 PM
1

Trying not to stress, but it's tough when we openly never considered ourselves married. My lawyer says I'll have to give away roughly 40% of my net worth, most of my monthly savings, and commissions for the next few years. It feels unfair, and it's leaving me bitter. I hate that. Honestly, I can't shake the feeling that this was her plan from the start. She got her citizenship, exerted extreme pressure on me to buy a house, and threatened financial consequences if I didn't comply. I stood my gro…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 11:38 PM
2

Thanks, man. I appreciate it. I hope you rebuild quickly. I am optimistic that shedding the baggage will allow me to really grow my career. It has already been a blessing to just live life without constantly reacting to her delusions.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 07:23 PM
5

You're right, and thanks for the words. I've lawyered up and filed my response, but the financial impact is hitting me hard. The request for attorney's fees is ludicrous to me. She has six figures of savings. So I'm finding it tough not to worry, especially when she's being so dishonest. I have years of texts where she corrected me about our relationship status. For example, changing my texts from "Husband" to "Boyfriend", "Married" to "Dating", and refused to create joint financial accounts bec…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 07:19 PM
1

10 year relationship, married for 5. I refused to buy a house when she refused to work on reconciling our differences. I make significantly more money than her so this will hurt me financially but everyone I talk to tells me to cheer up, I’m still young and won’t be tied to manipulator anymore. I’m still struggling with the financial impact and sense of betrayal every morning. So I recognize it could be worse but it is pretty terrible for me right now.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 06:32 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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