TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

throwaway83759372 Archive

View 1 post and 49 comments by throwaway83759372 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
17

throwaway83759372/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 09:12 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
14

The first thought I had reading this was how familiar it sounded. And the second was that she’s cheating on you. My ex started prioritizing spending her time elsewhere with friends and planning trips to go see people she hadn’t hung out with in a long time. I remember thinking it was weird for her to just decide to go on a trip without planning with me but let it slide. I fly out to spend the second half of her trip with her. It’s on this trip that she tells me she’s changed her mind about kids …
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 02:06 AM
6

Have a good sense of the things that went wrong last time and be unapologetic in stating your needs up front with anyone you’re seriously considering. Had a dead bedroom? Make clear how important sex is to you and in what you need that to look like in a relationship. Ex wife was nagging or judgmental? Make a point to highlight it you need someone who is with you for you and not trying to change you. Etc etc.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 05:00 PM
2

It sounds like you know you want out of this, so I’m not even sure therapy is going to be useful. Once the resentment and apathy sets into a relationship it is DOA. It’s just a matter of how long you’re willing to suffer before you come to terms with the inevitable. If that sounds like how you feel then you already know the answer. If it doesn’t then forget the fact that she’s a therapist and try it anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 11:59 PM
2

All the time to be honest. You can’t let a divorce define you. It doesn’t. There is a lot more to life and it will take up as much space in your mind as you allow it to. Obviously easier said than done, but it starts with giving yourself positive reinforcement instead of negative.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 10:43 PM
6

Use an app and filter for women closer to your age.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 11:29 PM
13

I initiated the process after discovering she was having an affair. She was away on a business trip and I’d already engaged a lawyer with a draft separation agreement as well as a realtor to list the house before she’d even gotten home from the trip. Within a week I’d also moved out to live in a different place. Not sure how much it really mattered but I do think the fact it was obvious I had zero interest in reconciliation cut out the opportunity for any manipulative BS. She also gave up trying…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 09:00 PM
1

Lack of intimacy and lots of arguing. I thought all couples fight and it was normal for intimacy to level off after being together for a while. In reality it was just signing myself up for a miserable existence that breeds resentment. And once you’re at that point, it’s hopeless.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 05:26 PM
2

For me, it was a necessary experience to learn more about myself and the needs that I have in a relationship and marriage. It broke down for a variety of reasons including infidelity on her part, but even prior to that was simply not being a good match for each other. Out of that I found love again with a wonderful person that I truly feel is my soulmate. It’s unlikely that I would have met her had I not gone through everything I did, and became single again at the time I was. So to me, that fee…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 05:24 PM
1

In my experience the anxiety and fear about going through the experience of divorce was significantly worse than the actual event itself. Yeah it suck’s and there’s tough conversations to have with people, and tough things to sort out as you separate your lives. But in the grand scheme of things it’s not a long period. Now I didn’t have kids so that made it significantly easier and quicker but still had to sell a house / divide shared assets / make decision on who kept the family pet / etc. The …
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 03:31 PM
3

Early 30s when divorced. And I did better on the dating scene than I ever had before, at times it was almost too many women coming after me. Most women were quite endeared by someone who had already gone through so much, grown from it and was open and honest about their relationship needs and wants.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 03:54 PM
2

It’s not to say sex was the only problem before. As many here pointed out it was more a symptom of deeper incompatibilities. But I also didn’t realize until I was in a dead bedroom how important sex was to me. And not just typical sex, but being able to explore the entire kink side of things. After ending that I went eyes wide open into dating and was incredibly honest about what my needs were so as to not repeat that mistake, both sexually but also in terms of general compatibility. I eventuall…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 12:10 PM
8

Yes I did that. Yes life is better. Yes the sex I have now is out of this world. Yes my girlfriend is a way better match for me in general because I have the wisdom of experience to choose a better partner. No I don’t regret leaving. I couldn’t imagine staying in that now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 11:10 AM
2

Lol same
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 05:21 PM
4

This is a common mistake. I made it too. Then when my marriage was imploding and had become a dead bedroom I read the book the dead bedroom fix and it made everything clear. Women don’t respect men who sacrifice themselves to please them. They want a guy who makes them feel like they need to keep on their toes because they are looking for an alpha provider. As soon as their partner doesn’t fit that, their instincts tell them to look for a protector elsewhere. I suggest the read for any guy who’s…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 12:39 AM
1

The timeline argument as some standard rule is nonsense. Everyone’s situation is different. My marriage was over for 2 years before we actually ended it. I’m in my early 30s and at the age where I want a family. I didn’t waste any time getting back out there because of that. Im almost a year out now from the divorce and I’ve been with my girlfriend for coming up on 8 months now. We’re the same age so we are moving with intention towards a family. She’s amazing and I’m happier than I’ve been in y…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 06:37 PM
1

You absolutely can divorce her while she’s sick.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 03:27 PM
2

I was wondering this myself. I was debating if I just throw it in the trash. It’s a tungsten ring so it’s not worth anything. Wouldn’t want to give it to someone else because its not a ring that resembled anything good. It’s currently just sitting in a toiletries bag.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 05:31 PM
2

Yep. Sounds simple but I know it’s a lot harder than it is. Personally when I first split with my ex it was all my family wanted to ask me about. They started treating me like a child, checking in with me all the time. I remember at one point I had asked one of them for advice on how to approach an aspect of the separation and it turned into all of them arguing about it for over an hour, with opinions ranging from me being civil to super aggressive. Eventually I told them that this discussion wa…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 12:25 PM
3

Vent when you need to but also focus on your own future and life without it. Have m new things to talk about, in short.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 03:44 PM
1

Yep. I read someone else telling me the same at one point. You can go check my history to see
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 01:02 AM
2

I think deep down, you likely know one way or the other if you really want to put up with this for the rest of your life, or whether you think there’s any hope of change. For your own sake you need to listen to whatever that voice says. I knew my marriage was over for well over a year and it was miserable existing. But I was so wrapped up in fear about ending it that I just kept making the decision to stay. In hindsight, I can say the fear of divorce was so much worse than the reality. Yes it do…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 12:43 AM
2

I let my ex keep the dog even though I didn’t want to give her up. It was largely because I knew my living situation in a condo wasn’t fair to the dog. But I also made her pay me 5 grand for the pleasure, even though no amount of money can replace them. It sucks. It’s by far the thing that I’m the most down about post separation. But not having a dog right now makes my life a lot easier, and I know the dog is being taken care of. Having said all of that, if I thought she was a bad owner I would …
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 12:56 AM
2

Yeah I’m not moving in with someone again unless I’m engaged
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 01:57 PM
3

Life is good man. Dating someone new who’s way more my speed, and the dead bedroom that I left is not something I’ve taken with me. The sex is off the charts
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 01:16 PM
4

I sent her a photo of her walking into a hotel room with the guy she has having an affair with and told her we’re done.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 12:45 PM
1

Why?
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 05:33 PM
1

Pretty simple really - I want to have a family and my and my ex never had kids. Life doesn’t feel like it has much purpose if I don’t do that
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 01:05 AM
3

I actually had the opposite where I was suffering from ED with my ex because the relationship was so bad and the sex life was dead. Then in dating I realized there were women who were just as sexual and horny as me and could have fun. I still run into the occasional issue of my erection. not being as hard as I’d like but I think that’s more being in my head and the fact that I drink more than I should, which I’m working on changing. Nonetheless I think having changes to it when you’re going thro…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 01:17 PM
1

Recently separated and dating again, the woman I’m seeing does things to me that I never dreamed could be possible.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 10:13 PM
1

Been dealing with this the last few months myself. No children but separating, selling house, moving into family’s property, etc. a few thoughts: Be kind to yourself. It does get easier and will Be okay. Don’t get caught up in the idea of social embarrassment of living with family. They’re there to support you and you will come to appreciate the time you’re spending with them Don’t view it as a step backward. Yes you’re starting over on some things but you’re also stepping forward into a new cha…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 01:30 PM
1

Might depend on your situation. For me I came from a dead bedroom marriage that had severely affected my self confidence to the point I was struggling with performance anxiety and unable to have sex. When I became single and started casually dating around I was shocked to realize that yes, there are plenty of horny women out there and they want sex just as much as you. And as someone with my life generally put together I had no trouble getting physical with some of them, usually by the second da…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 01:54 PM
7

You can’t “work out” your partner being of an incompatible sexual orientation to yourself. Do the kind thing for her and for yourself and file for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 07:43 PM
2

My ex didn’t do any of it so can’t say I know what this would look like 😜 but I suspect it’s because once the safety of their relationships is gone it forces them to think through their actions a bit more and likely feel some regret and desperation to avoid the discomfort of transitioning.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 02:10 PM
2

I wouldn’t say marriage isn’t worth it. I have always wanted to be a parent and to me being in a committed marriage is a critical piece to ensuring a stable home for those children. Were it not for the fact that my wife is expressing she’s changed her mind on wanting kids there’d be no question that I’d stay committed to improving things in our relationship. But since this was the entire premise to me of getting married, it’s hard to make sense of staying in it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/22 02:27 PM
1

Honestly pretty difficult since I’d be considered near the top 1% of income earners in my country at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/22 01:21 PM
2

I’m pretty sure my wife is having an affair too. Which is crazy for me to even say and makes me think I’m being completely paranoid but she’s just acting different in ways that surprise me. I was trying to stay positive about it for a while but there’s a bunch of obvious signs now. For one, she’s started to be very guarded with her phone, I mean she always had it on her before but this morning I went into the bathroom and she immediately came and asked for me to give her her phone which she had …
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/22 01:28 AM
3

She never leaves her phone out of her sight. Always been that way.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/22 01:00 PM
3

Realistically if she is there’s no guarantee I’d ever find out.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/22 12:42 AM
2

I think the context that’s missing is this is an area she does already know and have friends within, it’s not something she’s explored for the first time and up until quite recently — like last week — the discussion had been about us going out there together. It wasn’t until I said I wasn’t sure I could move forward with indecision about kids, and then was quite distant for a few days, that she said she feels she needs to go on her own. Again, maybe it’s all some cunning strategy and I’m being p…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/22 12:40 AM
2

I believe she may have someone she plans to quickly get involved with - I still do not believe she’s already been seeing someone. But it doesn’t rly matter. It is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/22 12:26 AM
3

I know it’s possible. I really don’t think she’s the type but I also know lots of people have said that and been made fools.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 11:55 PM
7

Yep I’m increasingly accepting it’s over and thinking about he next steps
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 11:44 PM
3

I’m not gonna blast publicly because that will just invite her to retaliate with all sorts of shit she could smear me for, some of it being very private, but I won’t keep it from families once the decision is made
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 11:19 PM
5

My gut says possibly emotional affair, not yet physical. She’s displayed some tendencies but not all of them. I have no intention to finance her building a new life without me so I agree I have to protect myself and my dignity before she leaves. Where I live in Ontario I believe you need to file a separation agreement before a divorce order, and it requires both parties to go through jt. So that’s going to be the first step, which takes care of any financial obligations. After that, you can file…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 10:51 PM
2

Yeah I’ve thought about that. I did tell her if she was having an affair to just be honest and she assured me there’s nobody else, but I’m not sure I believed it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 10:50 PM
5

Yeah. Feels that way. I don’t intend to be that guy. It’s just not easy to walk away from what you thought would be forever.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 10:05 PM
7

It was 0 until this summer and then it started to be more frequent but she often wants to extend her time out there because she has some friends who live in the area. But she’s gotten real close with them all and I know she’s happier out there than she is here. So I get it, writings on the wall. It’s just shitty she won’t just say it’s over and instead is going to make me be the one to do it. Feels a little selfish of her given she’s the one deciding to start building her future without me. Woul…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 09:54 PM
3

Thanks. The dog thing isn’t that she’s saying she keeps it, I just know that you can’t successfully share something like that after you’re separated and as such, I’m going to be the bigger man and not try to take it from her. She talked about trying to share it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 09:48 PM
7

Yeah, it does feel that way.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 09:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter