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throwaway_2634 Archive

View 0 posts and 8 comments by throwaway_2634 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I think the best advice I can give is to find out what your attachment is by doing the test in the first link I posted. This will give you a good starting point in identifying where to start...
/r/seduction25/11/21 09:53 PM
4

Yes it is... the nervous system will create distancing strategies to ensure you don't attach to anyone. It's a way of keeping you safe from abandonment. Being a workaholic is a typical distancing strategy, but if you are avoidant, then you may be creating distancing strategies in other ways, like playing video games, sports that you can do by yourself, like running, cycling, etc...
/r/seduction25/11/21 09:48 PM
23

I'm so very sorry to hear about your childhood :-( I grew up during the Rhodesian Bush War and the death of my brother caused my fearful avoidance. The route to attachment failure is different for everyone who is affected. Dealing with the past is now my biggest issue! Just like you... I am in exactly the same situation. I can never recap what's lost and even after two years of deep discovery, I'm no closer to accepting the loss. I'm still grieving the loss and I wonder if they'll ever be a day …
/r/seduction25/11/21 11:17 AM
359

I could have written 98% of your post! I had my d-day 2 years ago, I'm now 50 years old. I'm afraid, you are asking the wrong questions... The question you should be asking is "how did I get to this point in my life?". And I can guarantee it is way deeper than "caring for a parent and that life passed me by". Without knowing you at all I'm going to take a guess that: You have a deep yearning for intimacy, but somehow you fear it at the same time. You are an extremely self-reliant person You may …
/r/seduction25/11/21 10:31 AM
1

One place you might want to look at is attachment theory. This is where I found all my answers and I found answers to questions I didn't know I needed to ask. There are 4 attachment styles, secure, anxious preoccupied, dismissive avoidant and fearful avoidant (aka, disorganised attachment). I'm a fearful avoidant and I would respond to your situation exactly as you have written. A lot of fearful avoidants also have enmeshment issues and this massively screws up your sexualty and you feel a great…
/r/askTRP04/04/21 09:12 AM
7

I was one of these guys and I never knew it! I wasn't a "Nice Guy" in its true definition, but I was a people pleaser along with other traits and behaviours. Sadly, it ruined my whole life! I'm now 50 years old. I had a massive d-day in August 2019 and over the last year I got to the root of the cause. I highly recommend you get to the root cause rather than just trying to act different. All of this stuff, including Dr Glover's book "No More Mr Nice Guy" is rooted in attachment theory. In my cas…
/r/seduction05/11/20 08:57 AM
28

CONGRATULATIONS! -- THIS IS WHAT YOUR NEXT YEAR WILL LOOK LIKE I know exactly how unsettling it is to be where you are now! I thought I was a Nice Guy TM as well. What I discovered is that I shared many traits with the Nice Guy, but I wasn't a Nice Guy. The main difference being that I never used covert contracts to get sex or to get what I wanted. I'm 50 years old in a couple of months and have been celibate for the last 30 years. I'm a bubby and personable guy, but somehow I could never connec…
/r/seduction04/10/20 01:43 PM
1

I had a similar question about sexual inexperience and maybe one or two comments on my post may help? https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/d90ec6/sexual_inexperience_is_so_terrifying/
/r/seduction27/09/19 07:35 AM
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