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throwaway_head_ache Archive

View 1 posts and 89 comments by throwaway_head_ache on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
49

throwaway_head_ache/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 08:14 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

I'm so sorry for what you went through. It really speaks to the intentionality of abuse though. Like, so many men do not hit their wives/gfs/daughters and this is some sort of shield against being accused of abuse. Plus, they do act abusively in private so there's no one there to corroborate your story when they eventually accuse you of being crazy and out to get them. It's maddening but I'm also realizing how these choices are absolutely on purpose. It's not men flying off the handle, it's men …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/22 07:48 PM
16

They'll say anything! It's like...do they even know what they want or believe? Or do they just say whatever they think will get women into bed fastest?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 04:01 PM
36

It is crazy to me how men will say exactly opposite things on different platforms. Anything to get sex or not be lonely, I guess. Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 03:59 PM
205

I used a photo of myself on tinder where you could maybe tell it was me if you knew me, but otherwise my face was tilted mostly away from the camera. I wrote a profile saying I wasn't ready for a relationship and only interested in FWB. 1) the likes came rolling in. 2) I crosschecked those likes with men who messaged me on Hinge where I had real pictures and stated I wanted a relationship. Men would like the real me who said I was relationships only, monogamous and then also like this 1 bad phot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 03:24 AM
13

Or when she realized he was "too lazy to care" about something that is such a big part of her life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 11:42 AM
48

My ex husband told me he didn't know how to plan a date. When he had clearly planned many dates, as we had dated before we got married. I'm no longer surprised but I couldn't believe he thought that would make any sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 10:12 PM
5

I will note, if you're reading it as a person not interested in having kids, she does gloss over that type of relationship. The book definitely focuses on a marriage that involves or will involve children. Nonetheless, it's either more evidence to what we already know (most men don't bring anything to the table) or a research based surprise for people that don't know that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 03:31 PM
143

I feel like the idea that women only started working in the 60s is such a logical trap, too. So...women only started making their own money 60 years ago? And were only able to get their own credit 50 years ago? And yet we're clamoring for them to financially go 50/50 in relationships when that's barely a generation of wealth building? Okay Rant aside, youre totally right that it also denies the unpaid labor of women in the home, the poorly paid labor of women outside the home, and the forced lab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 04:16 PM
110

I just read a book called Wifework that's a few years old but calls this problem out HARD. It was refreshing to read and then be reinforced here. She writes that like 90% of men believe they have an equal relationship and do "their share" of the house and emotional work and in objective research, less than 10% actually do. And it never falls into the trope of calling on women to cOmMuNiCAtE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 09:07 PM
18

You can split the rent, bills, and other expenses while living together if you want without getting married. It may be easier to leave if you need to. I am a CF 30ish year old who got divorced not that long ago. I would have been able to keep my property (where I lived, all assets from when I was single became shared marital property). I could have been on the hook to pay half his student loans if he had known to ask for that in court. I only got away with not taking on half of his debt after ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 04:02 PM
2

If it feels better for you, keep doing it if that's what you like. If you think it may be a thing you've been socialized into, keep probing those thoughts and feelings. I always got ingrowns and itchy regrowth. I dont even shave anymore because my skin is pretty sensitive. But I use something akin to a beard trimmer to remove some length. I've never had anyone say anything about it. I used to tell people before it got to the point where they'd see it. Nobody seemed to care. I do still feel a lit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 05:34 PM
17

TIL that not doing laundry for a fully abled adult is abusive Wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 05:28 PM
12

Definitely! I've had two partners who talked big game about "doing the right thing" and getting a vasectomy and just never did it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 05:27 PM
9

I saw something in another dating sub about poly or any of its other monikers and people were saying it was great for them because one person can't satisfy all your needs. And I just didn't want to get involved but...obviously? No one person can or should satisfy your every need. But, that's why you cultivate relationships with friends, family, coworkers, pets, whatever. The idea that the solution to your romantic partner not satisfying ALL your needs is poly or ENM or whatever sounds so short s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 05:22 PM
13

This is a topic that I've struggled with so much because these abusers operate within the window of plausible deniability really well. My ex never broke my things per se but as our relationship deteriorated he began using some of my nice kitchenware for his work. It involved chemicals that you shouldn't ingest and I asked that he buy some cheap pots instead. He refused. He burned a pan so badly (not from food cooking) that I just threw it away. He also threw out a normal household maintenance it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 09:35 PM
2

I'm not sure if you want me to answer these or not but I eat meat. I was a strict vegetarian for years and it didn't work well for me. While humans can successfully be vegan and are omnivores (and people can judge me saying I didn't do it right if they want), despite being careful about how I combined and prepared my food to be iron rich and nutritionally dense, I became very anemic. I tried a lot before I just went back to adding in meat. My anemia disappeared. This is just some context for my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 01:32 PM
2

That's your choice about whether or not it's a red flag for you in relationships or friendships. It's a little weird to call women who do "pickme coolgirls." It's a type of pet. There's a lot of other behaviors that are more indicative of pickme attitudes and behaviors and a whole thread of women here who have experience with exotic animals 🤷🏽‍♀️ Other people in this thread who also have experience with insectivores have also said you can't feed dead bugs to animals that eat bugs. It's cool if y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 01:11 AM
13

I think if your animal doesn't need a live feeding, don't do it as it is obviously terrifying for the feeder animal. Also, filming it is absolutely bizarre. People who film and/or watch it are likely just into it because it is violent. However, I have owned tarantulas. They are beautiful animals and I really tried to give them the space they needed in a live terrarium. That included providing live food. Tarantulas don't eat their prey, exactly, they just suck the insides out. This doesn't work f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 02:04 AM
10

I personally believe truly unconditional love is a myth. Maybe parents feel this way about their children. But to give of yourself and expect nothing in return causes resentment and is exhausting for the vast majority of people. My ex used this phrase in a slightly different way. Hed say he wanted to be loved without being judged. Newsflash: we are all being judged, good or bad, for most everything we do. Just because you're not being a good partner does not mean women have to put up with it and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:08 PM
4

100% agree. I had a couples therapist tell me it wasn't fair to have expectations of my husband especially if I didn't ask for exactly what I wanted ahead of time. A new therapist helped me realize that is garbage. You're allowed to have standards and expect that your partner live up to them, especially when those standards are pretty basic. Respect, affection, time, etc. Those are standard relationship basics. You should be able to expect those without asking
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 09:23 PM
55

I love that phrase, "being validated that you are the best at the tools of your oppression"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 04:48 PM
33

I'm torn on the pay too! Part of me is like, if you can trick men into giving you money because you're pretty then girl, get it. And on the other hand I feel like playing their game - even if you "win" - is still losing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 04:48 PM
153

"I'm looking into getting into therapy" is like the most passive sentence I've ever heard. Not researching therapists, not talking to the insurance company, not setting up intake appointments to see if the therapist is a good fit. Its them thinking it means something because they gave it a passing thought and then did literally nothing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 03:06 PM
213

I think "empowering" or "empowerment" is kind of a bs term. Its used for activities for women that are usually sexual or already feminine: wearing makeup, being judged based on your conventional attractiveness, creating porn. These things don't actually create an equal or equitable playing field for women in our society. Im already expected to look pretty, wear makeup, be thin, and be sexual all in ways that walk the line between "not enough" and "too much." Participating in these types of activ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 03:04 PM
18

It blows my mind how we supposedly have both a higher pain tolerance and are supposedly "the weaker sex." The contradictions in their stereotypes are ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 09:50 PM
38

There is 1 gynecologist in my city (metro area of about 800,000) who offers sedation for exams if you have trauma or pain and for IUD insertion and removal. I found this out when I was looking for options and lived about 100 miles away. This was the only one in the state.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 04:31 PM
5

This is going to be long and the disclaimer is that these things may be true, but there's no links to studies, articles, etc. In other times they say “in my experience,” or “I’ve seen,” or “I’ve heard,” or something to ensure you know it’s anecdotal but all this talk of studies, articles, specific psychiatric diagnoses and biology seems like it needs sources. If it’s factual, referencing the specific studies and their validity is going to increase the support for your claims and make the podcast…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 03:04 PM
1

Thats probably the better word for it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 10:34 PM
5

I found this episode hard to listen to, anyone else? It seemed like a lot of pseudoscience with no references
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 01:03 PM
15

I dont even know if they protect women they know. All the stories in the comments reminded me of when a friend was in an abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was berating her in another room and the only person to get up and help was me. There were 3 men bigger than her boyfriend and yet I was the one to go put myself between them. It was despicable and disgusting. I think you're 100% right about possessiveness. What man will step in when its a man and "his" woman?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 04:32 PM
6

To your point on counseling, I'm hesitant. But also like you said, it's important to get more info on the relationship dynamics and who pursued counseling. I did counseling with my ex but he wouldn't actually do anything. He's since touted the fact that he "tried" but I "kept raising the bar" and that he's in solo therapy now. Women might be tricked by this narrative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 05:40 PM
45

Manipulative men who have been to therapy or have some knowledge of psychology are tricky. They use "therapy talk" and seem really in touch with their emotions but they're just using those as a facade for manipulation tactics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 05:36 PM
14

It is harder as you get older; I see a lot of the men OP describes (which I love your term for) and I'd love to know where to find a not taken HVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 01:54 PM
42

I'm divorced myself so I know it sounds hypocritical, but I side eye divorced men hard. I want to know why they got divorced and I dont really trust that they've reflected enough on the contributions they made to the marriage falling apart. I feel like they're just continuing the same behaviors, saying things they want to believe they do/are but actually aren't
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 01:37 PM
30

This is really interesting. Ive always declined being walked to my car on a first date because I dont know if the man is creepy and I dont want him knowing my car/license plate. That being said, I appreciate the offer of being walked to my car and I think him offering is a positive sign. And, not pushing when I say no thanks is also a positive sign
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 02:12 PM
26

I wonder so much about this since my own divorce. My husband told me he wanted a divorce (I should've left him earlier but that's who I was then) and then left the state. Didn't even know what he needed to do to get a divorce, certainly wasn't going to look into it, and disappeared in the middle of the night. I had to file myself. Im curious how many women end up in a similar situation. If he's enough of a manchild during the marriage, he's not going to suddenly have motivation to do boring pape…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 01:53 PM
11

I know online dating is controversial here sometimes, but this is SO APPARENT on apps. I do a double take on men's ages way too often
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 03:35 PM
72

I was thinking about Bancroft too! I believe its in Why Does He Do That where he's discussing different types of abusers, "Mr. Sensitive." Abusive men are masters of DARVO so this is just another way for them to escape responsibility. Not to say that - like in your example - men aren't abused by women. But that it is much less common and, because of that, an indication to try to get more information. Especially if its early in the relationship or it seems out of place to mention it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 11:40 PM
21

I'd just break it off and move on. There's no real benefit of "giving them a taste of their own medicine." This wouldn't repair the relationship and he likely wouldn't learn anything from it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 07:39 PM
13

Same! I had been thinking about it, even printing out the forms to self-file but not doing anything with them. Then my ex said he wanted the divorce before I had decided and he left the state. So I filed the papers I'd been sitting on 🤷🏽‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 06:19 PM
2

Tips on multidating? I am very okay with having high standards and am finding that - while I'm getting likes - I don't match with many men in OLD. I am in my early 30s now so I dont know if thats affecting things. I'm also finding that the men I do match with and have good phone based conversations doesn't seem to translate to a real date. Thoughts? Tips?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 12:54 AM
37

My jaw dropped at that part! He posts photos of his family. Wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 04:59 PM
52

My couples therapist told me that I couldn't possibly expect anything from my ex because I didn't explicitly tell him. My individual therapist told me that was bullshit. There are normal relationship expectations that thoughtful, kind people are happy to meet and exceed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 11:34 PM
14

Be observant of men who do call out male privilege and abuse, too. Its usually a good sign but can also be a manipulative man's best alibi. My ex did this and then turned right around and emotionally and sexually abused me behind closed doors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 09:56 PM
100

Oh yes! I read a study (that I'll look for) about men in scientific fields of study. The vast majority said they believed men were given an unfair or undeserved advantage in getting accepted, getting internships, mentoring, etc. But the same majority also believed that they were the exception, that they got in because they were smart and worked hard, not privilege. Men refuse to see that their accomplishments are often due to privilege and women's accomplishments are in spite of oppression. Its …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 01:10 PM
3

Any way a man treats his pets (cats, dogs, snakes, whatever) is a huge indicator of his character. All animals need enrichment, vet care, and quality, regular feeding. Not hitting these basic needs for an animal is cruelty in my opinion. My ex tried to keep a stray kitten in the house and I relented with the requirement that the litter be cleaned every day BY HIM. It didn't last and he tried to guilt me about how he couldn't keep the cat, even though it was the consequence of his own (in)actions…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 10:34 PM
21

You can also now get the vaccine well into your 40s so there's no excuse. If their parents don't get it for them as children, they are able to get it for themselves as an adult
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 05:32 PM
114

This is absolutely gospel
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 05:48 PM
32

That is what I thought as well! They're making it out like it's a degrading act or super gross. And they're putting up with it for money. That doesn't actually sound very sex positive nor does it sound particularly enticing to be a sex worker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 04:31 PM
7

33 people is an awful small sample size
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 04:15 PM
17

I saw basically this exact phrase on a different dating sub. The male poster said he dated younger women because they didn't have as much emotional baggage. That they seemed more enthusiastic and not jaded. As if this 35+ year old man doesn't have his own baggage. Oh, edited to add that people were telling him that was a valid choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 04:24 PM
18

Contact a women's shelter in your area or, if you've moved away from home, in your home city. Though I ultimately didn't use the services, a women's advocacy group in my home state was willing to shelter my dogs, put me up in a hotel, and provide storage space for my things until I could get on my feet. Abusive men can get scarier, more dangerous, and more violent if they know you're leaving. Consider calling a lawyer as well and let your family or friends know whats going on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 12:46 PM
4

I've had a lot of experiences with abuse and spent many years in therapy. FDS has really helped me recognize my worth, acknowledge my boundaries, and stick to them. I have been spending the last year getting divorced from a toxic relationship, getting my health in order, and setting personal boundaries and goals. I'm so glad to hear of many other women making progress in their lives. We deserve it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 04:49 PM
4

I like individual therapy. Its a place I consistently get reminded about how to listen to myself, respect myself, and gain confidence. Couples counseling is...probably good in theory. I had one who privately told me my expectations for the relationship were completely reasonable but told me in session I couldn't expect anything of my partner without explicitly saying it. We also got stuck on the same issue over and over because my ex refused to work on it. She never pushed on that and it became …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:24 AM
10

This has actually been on my mind lately. I've had a string of bad relationships with men, even after years of them treating me well. Im tired and feeling like I can't fully trust men ever again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:21 AM
12

When I was a teen, I gave my phone number to a guy I saw in public because I thought he was cute. When he called and I realized he was older, I lied about my age and said I was 16. He wouldn't tell me how old he was but said he was too old for me. And yet, this mystery aged man proceeded to repeatedly call me up in the middle of the night to meet him for sex. So. Regardless of whether girls instigate, they are still children. And, regardless of whether girls instigate, men don't get deterred whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 08:44 PM
19

Thats biology for so many animal species, too! Not the teen part but the part where males make overtures and offerings and women select the best mate for their offspring. We're the biological prize here, not men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 01:10 PM
3

This is why I hate when men say "we're pregnant."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 05:02 PM
2

Its all projection, isn't it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:28 PM
3

My exs dad cheated often with sex workers. My ex despised his dad for the cheating and the financial abuse (his mom didn't work so she had few options). Yet, he didnt go to therapy or anything and while he never cheated on me, he treated me terribly. Ive always wondered if he picked it up from his dad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:22 PM
5

Are her slides available?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 01:08 PM
8

I want to see this too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 06:47 PM
8

Thanks! It was a major factor in leaving. There's a statistic I've seen on this sub about men who leave, cheat on, or don't support their sick partners and I cant remember what it is. But it's a high number and it's incredibly sad how many men fail at these basic things. I hope you're feeling better from your vaccination; I'm glad you got to get it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 01:59 PM
9

My ex husband used to be kind when I was sick. He'd sleep on the couch so I could have the whole bed. But then alcohol happened and he changed. I had to have a minor gyn procedure that required sedation. I couldn't drive after and I was nauseated/throwing up from the sedative. He stopped at a rest stop and I asked him to buy me tissues to wipe my mouth. He came back with burger King (a smell i normally can't stand anyway but especially not when nauseous) and handed me napkins from the bag. That …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 01:38 PM
4

Try to be kind to yourself. You are healing and it takes time to feel comfortable and trusting again. I experienced repeated assaults throughout my childhood and into early adulthood. My ex husband (before he became an alcoholic and basically a different person) knew this and took things so slow with me. Never pushed, always let me take control. It took over a year for us to have regular sex. Which is not to scare you into thinking it may take that long for you, but to say that good boyfriends w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 09:48 PM
4

I'm so sorry. It is so devastating when its someone you trusted or loved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 05:38 PM
23

I was reading recently about revictimization because I've experienced it several times too. The numbers seem to indicate that your risk of being assaulted again increases astronomically after being assaulted once, especially if you were assaulted during adolescence. It looks like a horrible cycle, where each instance increases your risk repeatedly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 03:16 PM
29

So cOmMunIcATe goes out the window when a man has "a good reason" to cheat. Got it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 10:30 PM
3

Did they mean in a "no one can change someone, they have to want to change" way or in a "that's jUSt hOw hE iS" sort of way?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 03:01 AM
20

It was bizarre, she was supposedly a gottman therapist too. Anyway, the take away is to vet your therapists maybe more than your boyfriends
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 12:59 AM
37

Oh this is real. My couples therapist before my divorce said that having expectations of my husband wasn't good for the relationship
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 12:33 AM
5

I always hate this on the relationship subs; once I saw something along the lines of "make him understand that..." and 1) it puts a heavy burden on the woman to say it "right" 2) no one can make anyone understand anything. Communication doesn't stop someone from disrespecting you, dismissing you, or abusing you. It's not a failure of communication, it's their choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 06:32 PM
25

Luckily I initiated my divorce in a state with a 60 day Cool Off period. It is still ridiculous because I filed over a year after I started noticing something was wrong and like 6 months after I was seriously considering that our relationship wasn't salvageable. You also have to figure out what paperwork you need on your own, print your own forms, fill them out (at least a dozen pages), show up to the court clerk, and pay a not insignificant sum of money just to file. A lawyer cost me a $2500 up…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 07:07 PM
59

If he can't get it up or stay hard, what do your pelvic muscles have to do with it? If he can't even get it in because its soft, kegels aren't gonna help that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 08:03 PM
5

This is getting off topic from OP's original point and forgive me for sounding dumb but, how do you train a cat? Especially without using negative reinforcement? I've never wanted to use a spray bottle or anything along those lines.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:54 PM
18

This is something I always wondered about myself. I like other people's cats but prefer a dog. And the only reason is because I don't like how cats can get anywhere; I don't like the idea of a cat on my kitchen counters because it seems unhygienic and thats pretty much it. Does that put me in the category of controlling?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 04:25 PM
13

1) officially divorced within the last month. I think the time I realized something was irrevocably broken was watching him wasted at a local soccer match last year screaming vaguely homophobic things at the other team while sitting right next to the teams family, friends, and children. I thought if he got help for his drinking, he'd be better. But he chose not to. I actually left when I realized all the things he was doing was abuse and I wasn't going to let myself be hurt that way anymore. I t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:12 AM
3

Its such a hard and painful situation and I'm sorry you've been going through it too. The worst part is the personality changes can be permanent as longterm drug and alcohol abuse can physically change your/their brain. Its hard to remember but when it clicked for me it really helped: the cruelty, the selfishness, the venom isn't for you. Its all their pain, hurt, and shame that they can't bear to look at so they pretend its you doing it. It is unfair, wrong, and abusive to take it out on you, b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:10 PM
3

My ex became dependant on alcohol about 6 months after our wedding. It led to him neglecting our relationship by going out all the time, being hungover or withdrawing a lot, and eventually adding drugs into the mix. Despite asking him to seek help and offering to help him get help, he refused over and over. It devolved into emotional abuse as he projected all his self hatred and awful behavior onto me. He became impossible to be around, was inconsistent, unreliable, and self absorbed. I left him…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 02:34 AM
8

I left my ex husband, moved to my home state, got a job with a 25% pay increase, and the nicest apartment I've ever had. We all work hard to level up and get where we are. Good job to all the ladies here who dump their shitty NVM and move up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 09:51 PM
4

This thread is absolute gold. My ex husband gave me: a clearance T shirt (with Halloween motif) from a podcast I barely listened to for Christmas. It was still in the mailer. It also was a size too small. For the Christmas after that he gave me nothing. He claimed he was making something but it never appeared. When I found out it was a coupon to take me somewhere and questioned why it is taking 2 months to ClipArt a coupon, he told me I'm selfish and materialistic. For our first wedding annivers…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 08:12 PM
8

This makes me feel so much better. My soon to be ex has been trying to manipulate and gaslight me about my experiences over the last year and our couples therapist keeps pushing that "we're both hurting" and we need to try harder. Ive tried to behave with grace and dignity but after a year, I've been worn down and have snapped a few times. This is always turned around on me being The Bad Guy. It means the world to me that this video and the research behind it exists. I legit feel less alone and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 02:23 AM
20

So he broke up with his girlfriend and moved back in with his parents. But if that was due to covid, lockdowns started in the US around March. Thats not a year of being separated.. The timeline seems pretty wonky to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 06:29 PM
1

Ugh i feel this so much. My husband used to get me thoughtful gifts. We got married and he skipped Christmas AND our first anniversary. No one should have to beg for acknowledgement or a gift on a day where it is socially determined/widespread that people exchange gifts. If he "doesn't do" gifts, he needs to say something. She shouldn't have to explain that gifts are an important expression of thoughtfulness and care in a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 11:40 PM
2

I think some men who support feminism mean it but they are almost always blind to their own misogyny. And they think that if they do 1 thing thats good for women, you can't call them out on anything else. Others just say it because they think it gets them dates or sex or they can manipulate women in other ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:43 PM
1

Yes! They want "honesty" as it relates to you praising them. Honesty about their downfalls or disappointments are completely unwelcome
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 01:24 AM
13

Ew! Educators should really know better
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 10:58 PM
13

Ugh i remember an uncle when I was 5 tell me I "had a gut like my dad." Everyone else made more subtle comments about my size growing up until I lost the baby fat. Then my dad accused me of being anorexic. Cant win!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 10:57 PM
14

I'm so glad for a place to vent this! "Wow, you really must be a runner. Your calves ARE really big." An ex told me he wouldn't marry me until I was "better." I was doing pelvic PT at the time so sex was not regular. "You're cute but you're not hot." When I said "look at how good my hair is today!" I was told "yeah? Its just hair."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 10:53 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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