throwawayqw123456 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
20	Narrative (venting)		throwawayqw123456	/r/Divorce_Men	24/01/22 06:17 PM
20	Losing my mind		throwawayqw123456	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/21 02:56 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Narrative (venting) Well written, thank you. In my experience, and I think in many other men's as well, the ex seems to inherit most of the family and community. It's really easy for them to enforce their narrative and rely on stereotypes to convince people they're right. I've written off anyone in my life unwilling to do the critical thinking.. but my own kids hurts a little extra	/r/Divorce_Men	25/01/22 06:56 PM
2	Losing my mind Oh I didn't touch the book, just saw it. Took a picture because I wanted to look it up. She'll never know that I found it, but I feel like I need to understand why it was there. I've started to do what you're suggesting. Just focus on myself and my parenting and try to provide the best environment I can for them while they're with me. I'm intimately familiar with toxic divorce and family disfunction, and I've tried to be really careful not to project any of that onto my kids. I don't necessarily…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/21 03:31 PM
1	Losing my mind Yeah, that makes total sense. I'm not really interested in the whole labelling thing other than just having more info about why the hell that book was there and maybe understanding behaviors moving forward. I was by no means a perfect partner. There were lots of things I could have done better to maintain the relationship. I'm kind of a slob, so I could have helped clean more. I'm pretty introverted, so at the end of the day I needed to just disconnect and watch tv or something, which often didn…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/21 02:30 PM
1	Losing my mind Thank you. And I'm really sorry you've had to deal with all of that. It's goddamn awful. I was curious, but hesitant to ask, if inducing toxic/negative behavior was part of this. It feels like a cop-out to say "this person made me raise my voice" or this person made me get angry and break something or whatever. We're supposed to be responsible for our own actions. That thing about "crazy making" behavior sounds really familiar though. Especially in the last couple years of our marriage. I was co…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/21 05:08 AM
2	Losing my mind Man, I felt that. I feel that. All the time. There's this ongoing narrative with this tally of all the things I've fucked up and all the things she's done (this post has been a bit of an eye opener). There's this constant struggle of wondering if I'm a piece of shit, or if we were just terrible together, or if she was toxic, and it's fucking exhausting. Even if it isn't true, I know that there's this person, and this group of people she keeps around her who believe that I'm this monster. I'm sur…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/21 04:48 AM
3	Losing my mind Thanks for that, a picture is starting to come together. I didn't react or even mention it to her. I've gotten pretty good at just cutting off communication when it isn't necessary, but yeah, it hit like getting a Taser to the brain. In lieu of confronting her about it I needed to reach out somewhere and try to find some perspective. Pretty thankful for this sub right about now	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/21 04:38 AM
7	Losing my mind Holy shit this subreddit is amazing. This woman still somehow has the ability to absolutely ruin me for an entire week with whatever circumstantial changes come out next. Finances, custody shit, whatever. I've been reeling for nearly 2 years at all of the changes. Slowly I'm getting better legal advice, getting confidence with my kids and my parenting (I'm still a mess but whatever), getting more set up and organized. But it's been a process and it still fucks me up all the time. Thanks man, I a…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/21 04:32 AM
4	Losing my mind Oh my god thank you lol. That anecdote with your therapist is healing me. I'd love to get perspectives from people close to us to see if it's obvious to outside observers. It is mind bending. Like, assuming I wasn't supposed to find that book and I just stumbled across it because she didn't expect me to be in that specific part of her home, the implications are kind of disturbing to me. It would mean she has so little self awareness that she's even fooling.. herself? Some of the traits I read on…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/21 04:23 AM
3	Losing my mind Lol, thanks for the reply. It makes my head hurt. I looked up the book and it has all sorts of reviews regarding the fact that it's self published and has dubious therapeutic benefits. I think it sort of helps shore up her victim narrative, because if ever she realizes she isn't the victim then she'll have to deal with the reality that she's put me and our kids through tons of shit so she can live her best life with her new boyfriend (who she met shortly before we separated). If anyone ever told…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/21 04:11 AM