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throwawaytalks25 Archive

View 13 posts and 435 comments by throwawaytalks25 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I wish I could get the hang of this, but one is a big struggle for me.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/25 06:09 PM
1

That's good, provided it is something you also want rather than feeling obligated.
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/25 12:14 PM
1

That's good, I'm glad. If you don't mind me asking, do you currently have to have sex daily?
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/25 01:58 AM
2

How is that going?
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/25 01:36 AM
13

Genuine question....what will happen if you are in a circumstance when you can't have sex, and are you going to be ok if he lacks the self control to wait for you?
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/25 05:29 PM
1

I just scroll this sub for the most part now (previously deleted all of my posts/comments because of some of the advice and judgement I received), but I want to share some things related to myself that may or may not apply to you. I have always been extremely strong willed, driven, and opinionated. However I found myself to be most reactive toward my husband, and it kept getting worse no matter how hard I seemed to try. I presumed it was due to struggles and hardships in our relationship (I'm su…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/25 04:24 PM
3

It could be several things, from immaturity, trauma, lack of insight, narcissistic love bombing, and/or control. It is not a reflection of a woman's looks. My husband proposed quickly (four months into dating), but we already knew we would have a long engagement (over a year). Looking back on it now (18 years later), he says he would not have done anything differently regarding proposing to me because he knew I was the one he wanted to spend his life with. Still, he would have set up the foundat…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/25 11:42 AM
1

That's encouraging though! I have been doing a lot of thinking about that, especially when I do my DBT therapy work. One of the concepts/exercises is "facts vs feelings" and the goal is to focus on what is actually occuring (obviously more involved but that is the gist). I know there will be times where it may come up in working through things or expressing fears, feelings, etc., but really in the last few days I have thought about "what if we just let it be in the past?". I did talk to him and …
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/25 01:18 AM
2

Thank you!!! He doesn't resent the time I spend in doing things for myself, he actually encourages it ☺️ its a feeling that I have within myself that I am working on. I have just (very) recently started to add hobbies/genuine self care to my routine. I have no need or want to add more than I am doing, I just encouraged him to add hobbies because I know he needs more than work, addiction recovery, and home, rinse/repeat. It's been really nice to see him light up about things he enjoys.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/25 06:41 PM
1

This is great advice, thank you!! I like how you broke down the categories, I have never thought about it like that. Intellectually, I really enjoy self improvement books, relationship improvement, my therapy work, journaling, etc. Physically, I'm really loving doing yoga and I find myself excited for my classes (most are during the day when my husband is at work and my kids are in school). I also really enjoy running and weight lifting...lol I don't "look it" but I'm very strong and they always…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/25 04:07 PM
12

All of our money is in joint accounts, and we both spend our fun money out of that. Neither of us spend outside our means or jeopardizes the ability to meet our financial responsibilities, but our money has always been "our" money regardless of income.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/25 03:49 PM
7

100lbs would be underweight, and possibly significantly so.
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/25 10:20 PM
4

Granted I'm older than OP and this is just my experience, but I see a significant difference in difficulty level losing weight now at 39 vs when I was 27 and 33.
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/25 09:42 AM
9

How tall are you?
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/25 05:25 AM
1

Ah that makes sense, it's much much harder with little ones!
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/25 10:38 PM
1

Do you have any hobbies that are just for you?
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/25 08:36 PM
2

I have always struggled with codependency, but I am really working hard to learn what he does really isn't my problem. My boundaries are clear, and thats all I need to be responsible for. If he decides to share any of his recovery with me, I will work hard to be supportive, but I can't make him do anything. I'm getting ready to read the book "Boundaries in Marriage." I know we both need to work on that, because we both exhibit different types of toxic behavior that has to change. I don't know ho…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/25 04:59 PM
2

This sounds like good advice, thank you! Some of my hobbies are "at home" hobbies, and some aren't, though I am just starting to practice being my own person instead of trying to make sure I'm available to my husband any time we are off of work. I do the shared calendar as well! I see it as an easy means to communicate, because I may not remember to tell him and he may not remember if it is only verbally communicated. I am taking a step back to let him lead, so I am hoping dates will be somethin…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/25 04:54 PM
1

So you pick activities you can potentially do together, and then let him decide whether he is joining you?
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/25 04:51 PM
1

What ways did you go about changing how you spoke?
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 06:17 PM
0

I agree, and professional help is desperately needed. I don't know what she deleted or what mental health issues she is dealing with, I was speaking from experience. There were so many times I wanted to change but was stuck in survival mode.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/25 11:09 PM
1

I would never personally compete with a 20-year-old (or any other woman, for that matter). I never want to be chosen because I'm "good enough" or "he can't have what he wants." If a man of middle age and up still sees age and sex as the only important factors, then he is not a man I would personally want, especially if we have children together. The idea of my partner looking at our (older teenager/early 20) kids friends as "potential" is revolting.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/25 05:37 PM
0

Sometimes, compassion goes a long way. Mental health struggles are a beast, and there are times when survival mode doesn't leave a lot of room for self-improvement. It is not always ignorance and lack of motivation but a lack of effective treatment. Addressing this must be the absolute priority because it is the proper foundation of change.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/25 05:26 PM
4

You are correct, 50lbs in 4 months is not healthy. It also increases the risk for disordered eating. I have never had a healthy relationship with food and have always had disordered eating in one form or another. It sounds cliche, but doing Noom has helped. From an educational standpoint, I "know" the psychology behind it, but it is more impactful to see it, read/learn it daily, and see the full effects of healthy eating. Another beneficial thing to consider is DBT (you can start learning some o…
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/25 05:22 PM
5

Believe people when they tell you how much or how little they value you. He has invited you to look for other people. He has not committed to you. "I'm not perfect and probably can't do better" is NEVER a good reason to choose someone; it will only end in disaster and hurt. You should NOT lose weight for someone else. But you should seek whatever level of treatment is required to address why you cannot prioritize your health. That sounds easy, but it is a tremendous amount of work. The payoff is…
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/25 05:16 PM
1

I see authenticity as one of the keys to intimacy in a relationship, however you can absolutely be authentic, respectful, and loving. You cannot on the other hand have intimacy if you are not really known by your partner. Again, I was unaware sharing how I have so far worked on my own issues was argumentative, it seemed like it was important context. Being seen as argumentative for sharing previous/current repairs makes me feel as though asking advice here is just setting myself up as a target i…
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/25 09:05 AM
1

Regardless of why a couple decides to stay together, split up, work things out, etc., the past doesn't just vanish, and trust isn't automatically fully restored. That takes a long time and a lot of work. If you prefer that for me to use any aspect of RPW, I say I have never done anything to improve my marriage, and all I do is argue with my husband, that is fine. You are well within your rights to believe anything else is argumentative.
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/25 02:17 PM
1

You stated I have gone and had sex with other men and broken my marriage vows. That is a pretty big assumption.
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/25 02:11 PM
1

It does get frustrating when a woman is automatically at fault if she ever even hints at anything but perfect submission and pretending her man does no wrong. And I don't see how saying, "Hey, I recognized these things about my marriage, and I did XYZ to correct them," is argumentative. This commenter is making very interesting assumptions about me which is strange at best. I'm argumentative for saying I have done things to correct problems, but I guess it is fine to present assumptions as "fact…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/25 02:09 PM
1

Haha you seem to feel you know a lot about my marriage!
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/25 01:59 PM
2

Thank you very much!
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/25 09:28 PM
1

Sorry to reply twice, I just thought of a question and have been reading through old posts to try to get some insight. When starting to STFU, I presume that also means not really bringing him any concerns (not solutions) until you have proven yourself for an extended amount of time?
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/25 07:11 PM
1

It was brought to my attention that my initial response was argumentative. I apologize as that was not my intention. I will accept responsibility for his perception; I tried being respectful, telling him how much I missed him, and making sure he was entirely sexually satisfied with absolutely nothing in return. Are there other things I can do to improve his perception of having any discussions? It is probably relevant that he views talking about our relationship as fighting....his upbringing tau…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/25 04:35 PM
3

I spoke to my husband about this and some other advice I have received on this thread. He ultimately wants me to believe the good in him while he is rebuilding trust and take more of an "innocent until proven guilty" approach. He wants me to trust that he is doing the right thing, stop questioning his motives when triggering events happen, and learn to reduce my triggers, and he believes that these things will allow us to have a better relationship. So we decided to do the STFU and always look a…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/25 04:29 PM
2

Thank you for your perspective. What is the best way to correct the issue if I take ownership of his perception? ETA: I included the steps I have taken to learn about communication and explained how I implemented them to demonstrate that my attitude was not simply "his perception is his problem."
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/25 02:34 PM
0

Are you sure? Because a lot of times, women will present things as: "I feel bad/sad/mad", and the guy will receive it as: "YOU MADE ME FEEL bad/sad/mad." I really have no control over that. I explicitly tell him that is not what I am saying. I have been reading the book How to Communicate Your Feelings (Without Starting a Fight) and it has very helpful tips on separating feelings and actions, as well as taking ownership of your own feelings. Yeah, it's kind of funny that when you make people fee…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/25 01:24 PM
1

Some questions: Was your relationship egalitarian, male led, or female led for the majority of your guys time together? Are you guys on the same page for leadership? It's going to be extremely difficult to have your SO lead you if you've been domineering and betafied your husband and now expect him to control frame and effortlessly lead you while simultaneously managing any past negative experiences of resentment and contempt. I don't have all of the relationship details, but it seems like you g…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/25 12:06 AM
–

A lot of the advice on RPW is to take care of our side of the street because we can't give advice for someone who's not here (and we can't control or make someone change), but for some initiatives both partners need to be on the same page. They need to have both bought into the same relationship goals and are crystal clear with each other on what each partner values and whether or not it's aligned. This is a great point, and I am reading (listening to) what is so far a really awesome book called…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/25 04:50 PM
27

I think that a loving partner, home/family, and stable income are definitely the biggest priorities, but you do need more than that for fulfillment. As women, we aren't just wives and moms, we are people who have our own desires, needs, goals, and passions. We need friendship, community, hobbies, involvement outside our home as well, etc. Otherwise, we lose ourselves in the process of taking care of our family.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/25 05:43 PM
2

It’s not that the masters had, by default, a better physiological make-up than the disasters; it’s that masters had created a climate of trust and intimacy that made both of them more emotionally and thus physically comfortable. I truly want to create this in my marriage. It has never really existed, but we are trying. It gets frustrating to make progress, default, and mess it up again.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/25 01:28 PM
6

I commented above (it explains more thoroughly), but my husband just opened up about how staying in my own space leads to him feeling hurt and disconnected. I think some men just want different things—or rather, some people just do, and don't necessarily fit in their stereotypical "box."
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/25 01:06 PM
4

I never thought about it in the sense of not being authentic, but that is spot on for me as well!! I use a small handful of RP "tools," but even when listening to some of the stuff, my husband will emphatically say, "Please don't start doing that!"
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/25 01:02 PM
3

I love this, it just goes to show every relationship and dynamic is different! My husband loves when I initiate affection, especially non-sexual physical affection. To my surprise, he also told me just last night that he was sad that I had been trying to be "less clingy," and it felt like we weren't connected. I had been trying not to call him at work, to only text occasionally, not talk about my day unless he asked, etc. I didn't realize I was hurting his feelings by doing that! Some men might …
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/25 12:58 PM
2

It is neither, but that needs an explanation. I don't consider either of us marrying up or down, and I feel we are pretty well-matched, but he always says other guys tell him he married up when they see me. I don't lose any attraction to him because of his bids (quite the opposite, actually), and it is, I think, a type of forced apathy that is related to depression and difficulty with showing negative emotions other than anger. Although I communicate well in general, I compartmentalize pain and …
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/25 11:37 AM
3

I'm looking forward to these posts! The kindness concept in the PDF resonated with me....I find myself wanting to talk to my husband and share what is going on in my life, but when the opportunity presents I don't. It feels almost insurmountably exhausting to explain everything, but I don't truly understand why. He makes bids for connection in this area frequently, and I realize now that by not responding I am turning away, though that was never my intent. I wish I knew why I felt this way, beca…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/25 07:24 PM
1

Nursing is a female dominated field, one that carries a high physical and mental load.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/25 11:08 PM
1

No. Have you been responsible for whether people live or die every day at work? How about lifting people up to 640lbs (with a reasonable average of about 250-325lbs) or pulling/pushing equipment that is 200-550lbs+ ? Or walking an average of 6-9 miles every shift?
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/25 06:10 PM
3

It's fine, this is the typical response 🙄 Then give applicable examples. no compassion or empathy just bs. Not sure how you came to this conclusion. u probably will never understand what a man experiences but that's a good thing because that means ur surrounded by strong men that arnt complaining and being stoic, that's what it should be but just because we aren't complaining doesn't change reality No, definitely not the case. I also care about what my husband is going through, thank him often, …
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/25 12:54 AM
3

And as previously stated, I'm not a criminal, I'm not divorced, and I don't assault people. I also don't get sex any time I want it. So none of your examples were applicable to me, or most other every day women for that matter.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/25 12:50 AM
4

You are entitled to your perception. Most women work, many of us in physically and mentally demanding jobs. In addition, most women who have kids are also the primary parent and handle the mental load of keeping every running smoothly, keeping up with all the schedules, to do lists, bills (depending on the situation), etc. Women typically handle a higher proportion of domestic duties. Societal expectations of women are absolutely insane. Shall I go on?
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/25 12:47 AM
4

You can prove life is easier because you knew one woman who got preferential treatment. Got it. You are gonna get sore from all the stretching you are doing...
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/25 12:42 AM
4

Well yes that makes my life sooo much easier..../s. I'm not a criminal. When we were looking at divorce it was with the understanding of fully shared custody. I don't assault people So I guess you are saying the areas of sex, crime, divorce, and assault is what makes a woman's life "easy mode"?
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/25 12:40 AM
5

I must be doing this woman thing wrong then because I have worked my ass off for what I have, and my job is definitely not easier.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/25 12:33 AM
5

So it's all about sex.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/25 12:21 AM
8

It's much more than that! Yall can get on the boat just because you are a woman I have to work and buy the boat to get on the boat. What are you even talking about?! Yes, woman do have complete access to sex for example, a woman can go outside and ask 10 men if they want sex and at least 6 will say yes so yall can procreate easily. "It's more that that" and then you go right back to it being about getting "all the sex we want." Hate to tell you, but no I don't get sex whenever I want it, and no …
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/25 12:16 AM
7

Not really though. My life has been hard regardless, and when you dig into the thought process behind it, they say women who are married and not getting as much sex as they want can just download tinder for hookups. But again, I have faced so many hardships that sex definitely didn't make "easy."
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/25 11:17 PM
13

I have seen this, and when asked to explain it's always because we "have access to all the sex we could want." One, we don't, and two, sex doesn't mean life is one easy mode.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/25 10:50 PM
4

By follow request, I presume you mean strangers on Instagram? I wouldn't even trust that half of those are real people. I'm kind of like you, when I am out and about by myself I am focused. I will however give a small smile if I meet someone's eye, say good morning/afternoon/evening, pardon me, etc. I will make small chit chat when the situation calls for it and will offer to help someone in need. I am friendly, but my Dad and husband have always said I do so in a way that still conveys I'm not …
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/25 02:42 PM
2

Do you see not agreeing with porn as insecurity?
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/24 01:33 PM
2

The choices are not accept a man who jerks off to porn or accept a man who jerks off to every woman he sees/knows.
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/24 11:15 PM
1

This doesn't sound like it has anything to do with you paying for things or getting him gifts, and if it is that is a big red flag imo. Total lack of respect and poor treatment because you paid for something? That is not a HVM. There are plenty of us in relationships that both partners work and it doesn't cause this. It sounds a lot like he stopped putting his best foot forward. He didn't change who he was originally, he just stopped pretending.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 02:07 PM
3

It does have a deep psychological effect on the partner even if he is in the process of recovery.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/24 10:47 PM
1

She also needs to talk to wives of recovering porn addicts, because even though they are fighting their addiction it is is still going to do damage to the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/24 10:45 PM
5

You are correct and I agree with that specific statement. However, it is not her ego talking that she wants him to be able to orgasm with her in the most normal male way possible. You compared it with a female orgasming from penetration which is not even remotely the same.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/24 07:28 PM
5

OP, kicking a porn addiction requires so much more than just "not watching." Abstinence doesn't solve the rest of the problems. First HE needs to think it is a problem, otherwise he is not going to quit. Then he needs to address the reason for his addiction. If I have misperceived what you are saying I apologize, but if he isn't even bothered by no longer being able to orgasm via PIV sex, I would say he is in pretty deep. He won't "last a long time" as it escalates because further escalation wil…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/24 07:20 PM
3

Wanting your man to be able to get off with you during sex He can get off with her during sex, just not the way she wants. He cannot get off in the most normal way possible for a man specifically because he jerks off too much to other women. Not ok. It is not a "her issue." up to a year. Like a lot of things it depends on the individual. The more difficult thing is 30 days in a row. I would expect a lot of starts and stops and start overs. Yes, which is why I said based on duration and extent. I…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/24 06:36 PM
12

I put in a lot of effort to please him, and while I'm happy to finish him off however he needs, I can't help but wish he could orgasm during sex with me. That's your ego talking. It's like a guy wanting his girl to orgasm via vaginal sex which smth like a third of women can reliably do. Is it fun to watch a girl pop off while you're deep-stroking her? 100%, but that's not how most women are. So let him come how he wants. He's got other more pressing problems to fix. It's not ego talking. Wanting…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/24 04:59 PM
6

I find my husband very attractive, he is loyal, and he is successful. I was with him when he was just starting out, but he had drive and great work ethic.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/24 02:02 AM
1

I wear heels occasionally when the occasion calls for it, but my husband completely understands that I have a bad ankle and can't wear them often.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/24 08:15 PM
1

You are welcome.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/24 12:45 AM
2

It sounds like y'all are on the right track!!
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/24 12:39 AM
–

He is intentionally spending time with another woman and calling it "just flirting"? He gaslights you and doesn't account for your feelings? Is your marriage monogamous? If so, I personally wouldn't work to change to be more accepting of blatant disrespect. RP principles aren't for when marital boundaries are being stomped on and the disrespectful spouse wants you to just take it.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/24 12:16 AM
3

That's awesome, I'm really glad!! Our biggest challenge is me working nightshift, but thankfully it's primarily only 3 nights a week.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 11:57 PM
8

My husband does enjoy doing the mundane things together, and I have learned that those are actually his bids for connection. With that being said, I am trying to figure out a good way to foster being able to balance alone time and time together...it just usually feels like if we are both off we shouldn't waste the opportunity.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 09:25 PM
3

The first trimester was a nightmare for me both times. I had a complete aversion to coffee, so caffeine was pretty well out, I was hormonal and irrational, would cry or get furious for no reason, and I was soooo sick. Then add the exhaustion that make every day like walking through quicksand. I would not want to experience that for my wedding.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 02:07 PM
2

Babe is the main one for us.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 02:02 PM
1

I know my husband is not the stereotypical man, which is why I was just talking about my experience. He won't have sex if we have been fighting/arguing and it has not been resolved.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 01:35 PM
1

My husband and I are kind of opposite when it comes to sex because if things are not right in the relationship/emotionally or he is really stressed out he can't get in to it. There have also been a couple of times of major life events where it did take a back seat for for both of us, but they were extreme and we were both severely depressed.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 01:29 PM
1

My husband has just never been one that sex fixes things. He needs things to be fixed first.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 02:22 AM
1

You could be punching too far above your smv/ rmv or maybe he had a different life vision entirely that didn’t involve being with anyone, etc. Neither of these, but I agree every situation is different. I will say sex and respect essentially encompass what is in the woman’s control to keep the relationship together. Perhaps. I guess it depends on the dynamic. Sometimes sex takes a backseat (can be for either partner).
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 02:21 AM
2

I was just curious if it was a school commitment or something similar and why I temporary season was enough to end the relationship. I also find the notion that sex/respect will keep a man intriguing since that hasn't mirrored my own real life experience. Not saying it's not the case, just reflecting on what I have personally seen.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/24 08:36 PM
3

What was causing her to be so tired? Do you feel sex was the only thing that would have fixed it?
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/24 05:42 PM
3

Yep, I’ve been in this situation and I’ve left a woman partly because of this. Can you be more specific? Because of a temporary busy schedule?
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/24 12:41 PM
1

Following....I would also like advice on this.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/24 12:34 PM
5

Show yourself some grace...having a baby and toddler is exhausting! It's like you said, when they get a little bit older it will ease a bit.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/24 11:31 AM
3

Yeah that was a personal decision I made before my husband, and even when my husband and I were separated. Another user said I was lashing out because doctors were out of my league, but it has absolutely nothing to do with that. I know what I have personally seen over the years, and while it is possible to find some that are faithful, for me the benefit never outweighed the risk. Not to mention the lack of time you will spend together.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/24 03:05 PM
3

Is he saying he doesn't want to engage in threesomes? Or that he doesn't think he can continue to resist?
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/24 08:48 AM
3

Wow that is highly unethical. It sad they do that because it really isn't their place.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/24 06:09 AM
21

We don’t have sex very often maybe once a week to once a month, just because of our toddler/conflicting schedules. How satisfied are each one of you with the sex you are having? he said it’s become too much for him to the point he’s scared he wants to satisfy them outside of our marriage. He consulted a therapist who said this is normal and encouraged him even more. He said he didn’t do anything yet but has thought of it. Has he told you what the fantasies are? Are they things you are comfortabl…
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/24 05:48 AM
2

In response to your edit, yes I am capable of getting a high value man, and no doctors aren't out of my league. My PERSONAL preference was that I would not date doctors.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/24 03:32 AM
3

They were/are all married. There have been occasional residents that aren't, but the actual Drs have been.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/24 01:36 AM
3

Government contractor, why?
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/24 11:42 PM
3

@throwaway talks you’re reaching. Male doctors seem out of our league and you’re making up reasons to bring them down tbh and it’s not a good look. No doctors are not at all out of my league, and I have had many who made it clear they were willing despite my being married. No, I do nothing to garnish this, and yes I shoot it down. I'm sorry you feel that this isn't a good look. You are more than welcome to believe male doctors as well as those who are high earners in the medical field are faithf…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/24 11:00 PM
3

I know, I was posting it from two reputable sources. There are more studies but this one seemed to be sufficient since it did say that doctors have a higher incidence of cheating than the general public. I will go back and read it again, but I think emergency workers overnight plays a higher role with nurses as well. Though to be fair, you can earn 6 figures as a nurse depending on location and experience.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/24 10:52 PM
2

Now that I have time to respond more in depth....are you saying that males in the medical field are statistically more likely to be faithful? That there isn't a significant issue with infidelity? https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8197082/#:~:text=3.,statistically%20significant%20(Table%202). https://www.researchgate.net/publication/351820193_Incidence_and_Related_Factors_of_Infidelity_among_Medical_Doctors_and_Nurses
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/24 01:51 PM
1

Ok.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/24 09:52 AM
2

Interesting! I know I have always had higher than normal testosterone for a woman (but no outward evidence of it) and high cortisol levels. I have a high libido and am competitive, but also don't make rash or high risk decisions and weigh out options very logically.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/24 06:59 AM
1

This is an interesting concept. I would be very curious to know how it plays out in females vs males.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/24 04:57 AM
5

I feel like that quote is so sad and paints men in such a negative light. Sure, there are men who feel that way, but there are also men with options who would never consider it even if it was deemed acceptable. I think it's fair to say over 20% would feel this way.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/24 04:36 AM
1

That could definitely be interesting. What I spoke of was what I have seen in the medical field, and what is pretty widely known by those of us who are. Everyone's experiences are different. I think it is also going to be different if your husband has worked his way up to being a high earner over an extended period of time.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/24 02:59 AM
2

There are some that are faithful of course, but they are definitely not known for it.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/24 01:48 AM
2

Oh ok, I see. I'm sorry, I know that must be tough.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/24 04:56 AM
2

If you don't mind me asking, do you lack attraction to or sexual chemistry with your partner?
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/24 03:53 AM
2

I didn't marry for money (and the OOP didn't either - she married for love to a high-earner) but as someone who strongly considered income it was because I knew I wanted to be a SAHM and I wanted at least a lower middle class lifestyle. I married someone with good earning potential because there were other things I wanted to do with my time. I think that is more understandable that marrying just for money! I think I said in another comment (but perhaps on a different thread I don't remember), th…
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/24 03:30 AM
1

Well it sounds like it is directed toward women who seek money as the most desirable trait in a partner. Some women consider that an acceptable trade off, some don't. Some young women also still have on rose colored glasses regarding relationships.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/24 06:35 PM
8

I find that calmly and respectful discussing potential risks, benefits, and outcomes works well for us and doesn't make him feel like I'm doubting his judgement.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/24 04:22 PM
1

It could really go either way...even in an office it changes to familiarity and close proximity. I don't personally understand the desire to marry for money, and it isn't something I would want. I presume some people don't marry for faithfulness either, but again this would not be something I would want. I was just pointing out the potential frequent trade off.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/24 04:16 PM
15

I can't answer for other fields, but men in the medical field who earn $200k+ are not well noted for fidelity. Some women view this as a worthwhile trade-off, but I would caution to consider carefully what values matter most to you. And no, money doesn't determine if someone will cheat. But there are statistically significant proportions of wealthy men in certain fields who do cheat.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/24 01:03 PM
3

Thank you for your reply! Your life as a working mom is giving me some hope! You are welcome, and I'm glad 💕 I do have concerns about balancing it all! Balance is hard, no matter which path you choose. I stayed home for a few years when mine were toddlers, and I remember thinking how much easier it would be since I was used to taking care of them and working. I loved being home with them, but it was absolutely harder. I went from being successful, well-esteemed, and valued to never feeling like …
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/24 04:22 PM
3

Two years later, I find myself in a happy place. I like my job a lot, and it's currently not overwhelming (busy seasons still exist, but manageable). I have free time to nurture my hobbies and friendships. I'm really lucky to have been in a long-term relationship with a great guy who I can see myself building a future with. It sounds like you found great balance! Over this same time period, I've found myself drawn to RP values, "tradwife" / homemaker content creators, and considering things I ha…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/24 01:02 PM
2

I agree. My only purpose in what I said was having an idea about possible outcomes so there can be reasonable hopes.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/24 04:51 PM
1

I don't disagree with this advice, but would caution that it might not actually change and that is a potential reality that needs to be prepared for.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/24 03:44 PM
2

I wish I had advice. I know no matter whether I'm the best wife ever or not I will never feel desired sexually like I need to be. So I work hard in therapy on acceptance...it's an almost daily struggle though. So I guess I just wanted to offer some empathy vs advice.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/24 01:59 PM
2

You're welcome!! Realistically it's a lot harder than it sounds, but I do work toward acceptance.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/24 11:42 AM
4

Where do you draw the line if you have different opinions when it comes to your appearance? Honestly I know I'm not my husband's type or preference; he says none of that matters and he does find me attractive. I do what I'm comfortable with and take his requests into consideration. For example I know he prefers my hair long, and he doesn't like when my weight is lower (he prefers 145 over 130) and those things are fine with me. But I'm not going to kill myself to be his type...lol he chose me so…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/24 06:27 AM
4

Oh wow! I had no idea he said he was not going to stop cheating... I see why they feel the way they do!
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/24 01:16 PM
21

What would happen if you told him you confided in those closest to you because you needed support for your well-being?
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/24 09:38 PM
1

Thank you 💕
/r/RedPillWives21/11/24 05:48 PM
3

Someone who says they are monogamous but still "mingle" with new women because "men like the thrill of the hunt" is making incongruent statements. I have never known a man who loves the thrill of "hunting" new women for platonic friendships. I am curious if he is ok with her having this same level of freedom. Trust is earned, and you should never stick your head in the sand when things make you uncomfortable.
/r/RedPillWives21/11/24 12:05 PM
2

Taking him at his word is what she absolutely should do, and he has clearly expressed genuine monogamy will be one sided. She doesn't sound like she is ok with that, so they are incompatible.
/r/RedPillWives20/11/24 04:46 PM
9

We have gotten more serious in the past month where we have discussed that we enjoy spending time together and he mentioned he doesn’t spend this kind of time with anyone else ever, but he does mingle with other women as friends to “stay creative” because men like the hunt. For me personally, this would be a deal-breaker since he seems to be saying his intentions are not platonic with these other women. In my opinion, it seems to also be leaving a door open, aka if he decides to leave you his op…
/r/RedPillWives20/11/24 03:49 PM
1

I am honestly pretty lost on how that came up, but yes I usually read the NIV Bible.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/24 11:49 AM
1

Gotcha.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/24 04:34 AM
1

Oh ok I see. I thought you meant more of a always make it work approach as long as it wasn't outside your morals/bodily autonomy.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/24 04:30 AM
2

Hmmm, interesting perspective. How do you view that in contrast to protecting your time and priorities and not saying yes out of desire for pleasing others?
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/24 04:23 AM
1

I don't think you are wrong for what it's worth. I was just pointing out the importance of balance, because our comfort and feelings matter too.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/24 04:08 AM
2

always say yes (eg, if anyone asks, "would you like help with that?", "would you like to hang out?") How is always saying yes a part of femininity?
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/24 04:06 AM
1

Are you able to explain what you mean by never helping you? My dad never treated me like a princess (I wouldn't have wanted it anyway), but he never made me suffer when I was in need.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 08:16 PM
7

I'm sorry for your experiences OP. My father did encourage me to be able to take care of myself, but not in an abusive or abandoning way. He did not want me to ever be stuck in a relationship because I had no choice or couldn't make it on my own.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 02:52 PM
2

I'm not sure what you mean, can you clarify please?
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 02:34 PM
1

For me submission is a two way street and it is earned.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/24 06:07 AM
1

We are passionate about our relationship and each other, but it's just not as "heated" as in the beginning of our relationship. I know there's a difference between long term love and that early affection. Just to clarify, you are saying your relationship is overall good, just minus that new relationship spark, correct? I do think I have made the misstake of becoming too comfortable. Like always-walking-around-in-his-underwear-because-it's-more-comfortable-with-my-hair-in-a-bun-comfortable. I did…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/24 03:30 PM
2

Probably so, that makes sense.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/24 01:11 AM
1

Yeah I was just simply curious since all of my posts and comments in this sub get at least a handful of downvotes. I guess it may have been perceived as I was distressed by this and it was impacting my life negatively, but it was just a frustration. It's not distressing and I don't think about it the moment I log off, I just thought it would be a lot more beneficial to share perspective vs just downvoting. I have seen people get irritated at something "not being RPW" but you learn and grow throu…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 09:40 PM
1

Thank you for understanding where I was coming from. I may try using Reddit from my computer instead of the app to see if downvotes are all only!
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 07:50 PM
1

Yes, it was. You may have been previously bothered from comments from a week or more ago, but that thread very clearly sparked this post. It was the culmination. When I looked over your last week of RPW commenting, every single other comment had a normal upvote amount of 1 to 10+. (I was originally thinking you maybe had said something kind of wild and been downvoted to the depths of hell, and was trying to find such a comment.) That is correct, but I think on average every comment or post in th…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 04:08 PM
6

No throwing stones just genuinely curious, why did he let your toddler call you at 530 when he knew you were trying to catch up on sleep?
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 10:37 AM
1

That said, you're making this post because of a single downvote from some random in the "silent treatment" thread. No, it was not over a single downvote. My comments and posts get downvoted a lot. You really, really, really should not care that much and you'll be happier in life in general if you don't. I guess so. Thanks.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 10:25 AM
2

Thanks! I have noticed some definitely don't seem to like the comments from those of us that are selective in what we pick out of the "toolbox." But it's especially frustrating when your past personal experiences are downvoted. We all are forever learning and growing....none of us came into this doing life perfectly.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 01:39 AM
2

Pivoting to frumpiness post kids, where you still have that extra 20lbs, things are much softer and you don’t put the same work into dressing and appearance isn’t good for a marriage either. Balance doesn't hurt a marriage either. My husband always says he has no issues with me being/dressing comfortably around the house because I go all out to look good for him when it counts. Today he came home to me in a pair of more fitted sweatpants, one of his flannel shirts, hair pulled back, and no makeu…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 12:20 AM
1

He would always admit to silent treatment after it was over. We are not there yet, but we are doing better. We both fall back into old habits sometimes, and I'm just as guilty as he is.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 12:05 AM
2

Correct, it is not a form of passive aggressive, but yes he would completely do the silent treatment for days on end. Like I didn't exist unless it involved the kids.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 11:52 PM
1

This is an area I'm struggling with, but I'm making improvements. However it does depend on the reason. My husband does it (and is also working to improve) because of overwhelm, anger, and a very avoidant personality. He struggles with conflict and overwhelming emotions and shuts down, especially when he might say something hurtful. Unfortunately I despise being ignored, which has led to us both demonstrating very toxic behaviors/cycles. What I have been working on is realizing that even though …
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 10:38 PM
3

People who are passive aggressive are so because their family of origin had a pattern of rewarding passive aggression with attentiveness. My husband has always struggled with this, but it was never for attention, it was always from true avoidance.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 10:21 PM
2

I didn't learn I had an expiration date, because the only expiration date I have will be the day I die.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 02:35 PM
2

Same!
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 02:09 PM
1

In what ways? Edit: do you mean personal growth or attempting to become more type B personality?
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 04:04 AM
–

Thank you, I genuinely appreciate that.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 03:49 AM
2

But why do you as a wife have a need to know or why would a boss have a need to know? Because of finances, especially right before Christmas. Because of you're still thinking "if he fails I'll have to fix it" the way a boss might think, my initial tone is justified. This isn't letting him lead at all. It's just giving him a longer leash. No, not at all. But we would never just not discuss something major. Imo opinion and in my marriage that isn't healthy. my husband does not want a wife who does…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 02:25 AM
3

I don't think its a good question to ask if you are the de facto leader in the relationship and are trying to turn it around. Some may not agree with it, but my husband does not want a wife who doesn't involve herself. He believes that 1)even if he is the leader we are still a team, and 2)we each play a role we are good at regardless of gender. Haha that is why I handle the finances and he does the shopping and cooking (he actually really enjoys it!) Asking it implies you have a need to know. I …
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 01:56 AM
4

Even if I had said "hey babe have you heard anything about the car?" I don't see how that would have been wrong or why the context of who initiated the conversation was relevant. I mean this with no ill will or malice, but your initial response could be construed as quite insulting. I felt you assumed the worst about me, and rather than clarify, you accused. One thing I am working on however is responding in kindness and making sure I fully understand the intent and meaning behind things. You se…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 01:28 AM
3

I am not sure how this is RPW. So your conclusion is "I was right and I do everything better but this is HUGE for us because he didn't take offense with me pointing out I was right and I do everything better?" I'm not sure where the misunderstanding is. I told him that I appreciate him and want him to lead. I told him I don't want people to walk all over him. Not that an explanation is even owed, but the part of the conversation I didn't include was he has low self esteem and takes it because he…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 01:15 AM
0

Whenever I see a post like that it usually has some great points, but then it can say something like ”don’t talk much; listen more” or ”speak slowly”, ”be more emotional” ”stop solving problems”. Those things frustrate me as well because my personality is very outgoing, I have ADHD, and I am far more logical than emotional. Like this is my literal personality: having dark humour, love dark jokes, like solving problems, i don’t fit into this ”soft emotional” stereotype. Same! Of course i still dr…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 12:22 AM
1

Would you say that women with a type A personality are not feminine? Or is it more than that?
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 12:15 AM
1

May I ask why there is a perception of lack of follow through? I personally feel like that's a bigger issue Him being very sensitive to perceived critique?
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/24 02:57 PM
1

I guess that is the hard part, because he is very sensitive to any questioning. Any kind of perceived critique is going to make him shut down and give up.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/24 02:24 PM
1

I wish it wasn't so hard to do this tbh.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/24 02:04 PM
1

Oh, ok. He has, he just doesn't give any push back. He doesn't understand subtle lol, but he also knows I don't have any reason to use that vehicle, which is why I just ask if he has heard any updates.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/24 10:20 AM
6

Exactly. Medical abortions and miscarriage care are NOT against the law.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/24 12:03 AM
1

I just occasionally ask if he has heard any updates. You're also not asking for status so he doesn't have to offer that if he's not ready. If he is not ready? Like he doesn't know any you mean?
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/24 08:15 PM
1

Yeah lol he doesn't do subtle, but Im trying to be careful about asking.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/24 08:14 PM
3

He was the one who took the initiative to take care of it this time. I always have it the past because I am more efficient and it's easier for me to stand up to people, but I want to encourage him in any areas he tries to lead. Approach with a questioning attitude, not questioning his competence but trying to understand his thoughts processes. I will try, but I know since we are early in this he is super sensitive to any questioning.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/24 08:02 PM
2

Thanks! I'm hoping it does eventually have that effect for sure! It's tough, because I don't want the responsibility of everything, but I also want things done effectively. I guess I'm just used to being very efficient and not taking crap, so it's hard when he just goes with it. And I hate not knowing how much it is going to cost 😵‍💫
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/24 08:11 AM
2

Haha I keep telling myself that 🤣🤯
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/24 08:04 AM
4

He said he had them switch it to his number as the point of contact when he had it towed so he could deal with it. He said he didn't mind handling it so they aren't potentially calling and waking me up.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/24 08:02 AM
1

There are many reasons people have different boundaries. This would be a hard no for me, and it is a direct response to my husband's past choices. I would recommend asking curiously (if you genuinely want to know) rather than jumping to conclusions and insultinging.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/24 03:51 AM
2

Based on what you were saying, wouldn't it be much wider? Per your example, if men want it multiple times a day, or at least daily, and women on average statistically prefer once a week in an established relationship, that makes the compromise gap larger than the example I gave.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/24 02:29 AM
3

Agreed. I would be so devastated if that were the only reason to have sex in my relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/24 01:12 AM
2

I think most guys that age are closer to me than to him. And would certainly step their game up if their wife or girlfriend needed it more often. The pressure to match a much higher libido leads to resentment and sexual frustration almost 100% of the time. My husband is also a 2-3x/week (occasionally more) type of guy, and if he felt that he needed to "step up" to match me and suddenly start having sex 1-2 times a day, he would lose his desire very quickly. That is not fair, nor is it sustainabl…
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/24 01:09 AM
3

For what it's worth, this is not the "average" man in his 30s....they aren't typically going multiple times a day, especially if they work, have kids, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/24 12:58 AM
2

Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 05:16 PM
8

I guess what I don't understand is applying your level of libido to all men. It would be like me saying all women without the same libido as me are odd.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 05:03 PM
6

You're welcome. I really think you need to evaluate your perception of sex.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:48 PM
6

Why is he so anti-porn now if it was not a problem? It sounds like he may have dealt with it more privately. If it was problematic there is likely underlying shame, which would make privacy understandable. I love him lots but it is a mismatch w me. You can definitely try holding out for a man who will be able to have sex every day for the rest of his life. But it would be a shame to lose a relationship without addressing the fact that you are using sex for validation instead of intimacy.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:44 PM
7

Ejaculation isn't a "need" but do you really want to be a receptacle for ejaculation? I don't personally want my husband having sex with me just because he needs to get off. Just something to think about.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:42 PM
3

Them joking him does seem weird and deflecting. Have you told them about how often y'all have sex? Also, most men who do not have a high libido partner like the IDEA of one, but having one is a completely different ball game.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:40 PM
5

Ok, hold on OP. You specifically said no porn or masturbation in your post, but did not mention he had a problematic history in the past or that he was a year into quitting. Yes, the process of quitting porn, especially when it is problematic or compulsive, does change views about sex. However, it changes views from selfish and objectifying to more mutual and intimate. My husband has explained that he now deeply desires not just orgasm, but the entire experience and how it bonds us together. I s…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:38 PM
2

Why does it seem odd though?
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:34 PM
11

That is a distinct possibility, but it seems odd that his libido is like this is only 34. Why does 2-3 times a week or more if not stressed seem odd?
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:32 PM
5

So very true! While I do my fair share of the physical "work" my husband still has more exertion required...he basically never turns down a blow job!
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:16 PM
9

For me, I put a lot of focus on my appearance (my job has to do with it partly) and am used to getting lots of male attention. I feel like God has put this situation in my life so I can learn to validate myself without men. This is a very important lesson. Your validation shouldn't come from some external, and definitely not from men outside of your relationship. I don’t feel sexy or even fully like a woman when he’s not chasing me for sex as much Think about something if you don't mind...would …
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:05 PM
3

As if every feminist in here didn’t get extremely triggered by my first comment, including you. I'm not triggered at all. Why would you all have such negative views of me saying a woman is doing a great job at pleasing her husband Oh trust me, I definitely also do a great job at pleasing my husband 😉 He is well cared for 😊 Stop acting like the one holding the higher ground I'm not, if fact I specifically said different dynamics work for different people, and that is perfectly fine. Men want this…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 03:54 PM
3

You are entitled to what you want, but not entitled to apply it to everyone else and insult those who don't fall in line. My husband is not scared to tell me what dynamic he wants, nor is he scared to tell me what he does and doesn't prefer I do. Good luck to you.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 03:46 PM
3

You feel sorry for my husband? Why? Because he doesn't prefer this in a woman?
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 03:43 PM
3

I'm not a feminist in any way. You assume your "truth" applies to all men, but it does not.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 03:42 PM
5

You’re probably part of the 1% of women that exist in the world that 99% men wish they had. My husband would hate this dynamic. To say that 99% of men want this is not accurate, and it presents this as the "only and best way." She is the best wife for HER husband. Not for ever man.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 03:39 PM
8

I am a woman who would also prefer daily sex, but unfortunately that is not realistic for a lot of couples. I do agree you need to initiate at least some of the time (even if it is 1/4 of the time you have sex), but also some helpful advice I got here was to evaluate why it is unbearable to you to go a couple days without sex. Life is going to happen, you are going to get to a comfortable level with any partner you are with. Sickness, pregnancy, child-rearing, stress, etc will all play a role th…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 03:32 PM
13

It's honestly baffling to me. The premise seems to be that because of who was elected, all men are evil, and sadly there have been a lot of posts talking about ways to actually hurt men and cause bodily harm. Regarding abortion: They cannot seem to grasp that there are two kinds, elective and medically necessary. I am personally opposed to elective abortions, but not medical, and had to have a medical one myself due to an ectopic pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancy is a big one they keep using as "evid…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 03:17 PM
8

It would not be something I would ever do, but I'm glad it works for you. Everyone has different preferences and that is ok.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:44 AM
4

their ideal woman is essentially “clean on the streets, freak in the sheets” or however that saying goes. well, i was this to someone who just cheated on me and keeps giving other girls attention. Please here me out (all caps for emphasis, not yelling lol) YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR SOMEONE CHEATING. EVER. That is a character flaw in them, NOT your lack of living up to some ideal. i have a high s drive and very kinky but i stay home and never go out or really put myself out there. s was good but i…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 09:50 PM
1

That’s 3 of the 5…so essentially the majority of the love languages are yours, no? No, they have different context and levels of importance. Let me ask a question, if you and I are friends and I get you a card and a gift for your birthday, what do you do? You already said you wouldn’t feel loved, so would you be telling me it’s unacceptable and I need to hug you instead? No, I never said that at all. I would actually tell my friends there is no need to give me anything, but would be appreciative…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 02:04 AM
1

I did,and it really isn't. There is a lot of insight into loving people in the way they best feel loved, and I have seen it in practice with myself, my husband, and my kids. For example, you could shower me with flowers, gifts, etc and it would not make me feel loved. I would actually be indifferent, because gift giving doesn't have significant meaning to me. Physical touch, words of affirmation, and acts of service absolutely do though.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 01:49 AM
1

Did you read it?
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 01:40 AM
2

Why do you say that? Have you read the actual book?
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 01:37 AM
6

I am more "middle of the pack" here, but almost always perceived as conservative, so I'll share what works for me. *Disclaimer, I'm only sharing my experiences, not saying they are ok, requirements, etc. 1) I have multiple tattoos but they are only visible if I want them to be. 2) I have my ears pierced but mostly wear small tasteful earrings. I have both my daiths pierced, but the jewelry is very pretty and feminine. 3) my nose is pierced, but again, I only ever wear a small tasteful stud. 4) I…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/24 09:11 AM
1

Honestly imo if he can't communicate around concerns then that would be a negative for me. RP doesn't mean no respect or genuine communication.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/24 02:39 AM
-1

Perhaps wait until he is more relaxed to discuss? We disagree on that and that's ok :)
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/24 02:34 AM
-1

Perhaps he needs to modify his approach?
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/24 02:28 AM
1

Fair enough, this may have been a good opportunity for him to learn through experience (provided they weren't prescription medications).
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/24 07:01 PM
2

The meds under the washer was what she said, I did not make it up. She said he didn't want to hear anything back about it, she needs to just do what he said. That doesn't sound like a pleasant request.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/24 05:41 PM
5

Her example was of medications getting ruined if she followed his "command." Pointing that out shouldn't be construed as nagging. Not everything requires a discussion, especially when it will work against intimacy in the relationship. Barking orders doesn't build intimacy.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/24 05:08 PM
4

He needs to understand adult relationships require communication. It's not just him giving commands and blind obedience.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/24 03:46 PM
2

Right?? Reminds me of the same.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/24 03:21 PM
9

He says that I am combative every time he asks me to do something, where I don't believe I am, I am simply stating my opinion or raising a concern over why thats not the best idea, or just want to talk things over. But he doesnt have "time" to talk about things that he wants, he just wants me to say yes whether I agree with it or not. You should not have to answer "how high" when he says "jump." Communication, clarification, discussion, etc is not being combative imo. A typical example: He asked…
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/24 03:17 PM
2

💕
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/24 12:01 AM
–

Agreed.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/24 09:30 PM
–

Ah gotcha. Yeah thats why I was confused on the actual question being asked.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/24 09:29 PM
2

I'm also very anxiously attached and trying to change. It's very much a two steps forward, one step back process right now unfortunately.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/24 09:25 PM
–

Love yes, but I think passion is intermittent in a long term relationship. Either way, you are correct that they have to be nutured continuously. I'm not 100% sure what OP is asking, however, my take is that teamwork is crucial to preventing resentment and ultimately maintaining passion in a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/24 09:22 PM
3

Maybe so. Idk I guess if neither partner is capable of handling honesty then it may be a better idea to hold off on a relationship. That is not to say that honesty is always easy, but I would rather have no relationship than a relationship that wasn't capable of being authentic.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/24 04:50 PM
1

So noticing and moving on about their day? That has been what I have been saying the whole time.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 07:20 PM
1

I said the denial of male sexuality as it exists is possibly just another form of emasculation What do you feel that entails?
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 07:01 PM
2

Yet you are literally on other comments telling me I have lowered my worth and didn't possess the most important thing as a wife.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 06:25 PM
1

I really don't know what to say because our histories are very different.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 06:06 PM
2

No worries I respond to stuff too when I'm tired and have to go back and edit or apologize lol! It's not necessarily that the past doesn't matter, I guess it's in the significance you place on it if that makes sense. I can honestly say there's no one that I would want to trade my husband for and I don't miss anybody else in the least.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 04:08 PM
2

Not sure, honestly. Maybe some people don’t think it’s a good strategy and that’s why? I guess it's pretty mind boggling to me to consider honesty not a good strategy. But I guess it all depends on what kind of relationship you want. Not necessarily specific details, but certainly the broad strokes. I don’t think it needs to be a detailed account with specific numbers or whatever, but a high-level overview should be enough when getting into a new relationship. Yeah I was honesty and answered any…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 04:00 PM
2

I'm not the OP.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 03:42 PM
1

Thank you for sharing this from a man's perspective!
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 01:03 PM
2

I have, but I appreciate the suggestion. I have zero doubt that men notice attractive women. However, I asked for clarification because I do not understand why not oggling women is emasculating.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 10:34 AM
3

How is not oggling women emasculating men?
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 09:54 AM
1

Perhaps some people feel that way, but not all do.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 09:53 AM
3

Respectfully, I don't see it as the same. But I also don't want my husband lying about my weight...that is NOT to say I want him to be rude or hurtful though.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 08:17 AM
2

We are a product of our experiences, the core of who we are doesn't change dramatically after we're fully grown. We might learn lessons and do things differently, but the driving forces that led us to do what we do never really goes away except in time, and you're young. His view is likely that you won't cheat, but he can still be jealous for no great reason. Well it was relates primarily to a lot of trauma. He is the least jealous man I have probably ever met History predicts future. If I'm an …
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 06:25 AM
3

The short story is that a mismatch in how you go about finding sexual partners can definitely cross you off the list for some types of guys, but the majority won't care if you're a good fit for them. You might not be a great fit for insecure RP guys or religious guys whose morals don't match yours. This is very true. I am thankful my husband (we are both Christians), didn't care, his view was why should the past matter if you aren't that person anymore.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 05:00 AM
2

I agree with others that it’s not about the body count it’s about your behavior. My sexual history would likely send some in this community into fits, and it’s never been an issue for me (except for one ex who had a whole host of other issues). I couldn't agree more, and my sexual history would probably lead others to say I was never marriage material.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 04:55 AM
3

I'm curious why being honest with my now husband was downvoted... Edit: it would be appreciated if those downvoting about being honest could comment the reasoning...thanks.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 01:31 AM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 01:26 AM
1

Yes I think that in that scenario you are correct. However I don't think we get to decide about the generalities (including partner count) of our sexual past with our partner.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 11:58 PM
-1

Their ability to handle it is not our decision to make for them.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 10:44 PM
1

Agreed. Imo it depends on how much detail is desired by the receiver.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 09:00 PM
2

I wouldn't want my husband to lie to me about the past personally, but I also don't think you should lie to your significant other period.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 08:40 PM
0

I personally let my husband know about my past from the very beginning so he could make a fully informed decision.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 08:37 PM
2

If your man has been unfaithful or flirts with other women or whatever then it is a different thing than what I'm talking about. It may not even be as far as in person interactions. It's ok to expect noticing to be a second or two and then never thinking about her (whoever she is) again. I think that is the point they are getting at...there is so much difference between "that's a pretty woman" and dwelling on her or objectifying her.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 03:09 PM
0

I'm not naive enough to think that and I'm not insecure enough to be jealous over it. Denying it exists doesn't change it but it might help preserve your confidence if you are generally insecure. I'm glad you have never had to be jealous of it, but please try to be mindful many of us are insecure for a reason and haven't been so fortunate.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 03:00 PM
2

More significantly, if the man knows that women are sensitive to this, if he is able to fool her that he indeed only has eyes for her - then she feels special, and this increases trust and flattery. Respectfully, how does "fooling her" increase trust?
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 02:59 PM
2

OYS Number: 2 (I skipped some weeks...some were just extremely hectic and some total fails). OYS Comment Preference: Any, encouragement or constructive criticism as a whole. You may comment of it, but I do not want any criticism of our past mistakes. Demographics: 39f/40m, married 16 years, two teenagers. Gratitude list: 1) I'm thankful for being able to be human, and not being required to live up to an idealistic standard. 2) I'm thankful for the ability to communicate with my husband, and both…
/r/RedPillWives31/10/24 02:10 PM
3

Aww, cute. One, I'm not lecturing. Two, you would be prudent to listen to advice from those with more life experience and maturity than you.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 01:22 PM
1

You have no clue what her circumstances are, what led to it, etc. And it doesn't matter at the end of the day. You can have a preference without being a dick about it, and a quick glance at your comment history seems like you borderline hate women anyway so why do you even care?
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 01:17 PM
10

I agree it is weird to hyperfixate, but I do not agree about lying to your significant other. A relationship built on lies will fail.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 01:14 PM
2

This is not at all helpful.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 01:13 PM
1

True, but it doesn't hurt anyone to be respectful. Also he could have stated his preferences or standards without pretending like it was an across the board thing.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 01:13 PM
-6

By having sex?
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 01:11 PM
4

The lying and not being able communicate when you see frustrated will be far greater factors. I struggle with anger too, but its a daily battle and I am in therapy to help address it.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 01:11 PM
3

I agree, and I hate it. My husband is in addiction recovery, and he has expressed so much frustration about how it is literally everywhere.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 01:00 PM
3

Yeah it's something I will discuss in person if asked, or on an anonymous forem like Reddit, but not shouting from the rooftops.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 12:59 PM
6

Correct. This is a very new experience for me, as the first 15 or so years of our marriage it was me he never noticed and other women he wanted. I would never want to hurt another woman by rubbing something like that in her face.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 12:50 PM
6

I would never post about it, and I have a much different history, but I am personally proud of my husband when I can tell he is totally into me and couldn't care less what attractive or half naked women are around us.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 12:42 PM
2

There are men who genuinely do make a conscious effort to look away because they don't want to objectify women or lust after someone other than their wife. It is very frustrating that some women dress in such a way that they want all men's eyes on them for these men.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 12:41 PM
2

There is a huge difference in noticing an attractive person and objectifying them.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 12:36 PM
1

Exactly!
/r/RedPillWives29/10/24 09:35 PM
1

Haha ok good!
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/24 11:46 PM
4

Also, is this the 46 year old man?
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/24 11:28 PM
4

If I may ask, were you intimate during the few days together where he asked you to be his gf?
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/24 11:27 PM
1

No unfortunately his addiction recovery takes up an extensive amount of time, Wow. You blew right past this. This provides a lot of context I wasn't attempting to do so, just explaining why cutting back wouldn't be beneficial. He doesn't necessarily feel disconnected, its me. What are you scared of? This sounds like a learned behavior from childhood. We all have them. Me? I am hyper independent because I grew up in poverty with adults who couldn't always provide for me. That's just one of my man…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/24 07:54 PM
33

Did he say why he ghosted you? What was different about these last few days?
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/24 05:27 PM
4

You're not the first person I've heard say that, of either gender, which has made me wonder if the wandering eye is really an inherent product of evolution or something about the individual that, with our society being so unhealthy, has become prolific. I think society does normalize it, and presents it as "bizarre" if you don't. The irony is I know a lot of women like me. I have never met a man without a wondering eye or one who doesn't have to fight not to engage in longing for women better th…
/r/RedPillWives27/10/24 03:01 PM
5

I really don't know, because despite this concept being so widely accepted, I don't fantasize about other men or about being in a different relationship. I actually really don't even look at other men like that. Can anything be done to overcome hypergamy, or are women just doomed to live with temptation to go out in search of greener grass when the relationship becomes stressful or her needs aren't being filled? If needs aren't being fullfilled you need to be honest about it and discuss how you …
/r/RedPillWives27/10/24 12:49 PM
1

Ah yeah occasionally I will, but for the most part I don't because I feel more disappointed afterwards. It just can't compare haha.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/24 12:39 AM
3

If that is the case I don't see it as a barrier to continue dating.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/24 02:06 PM
4

Does pursuing a PhD make me less desirable to masculine men? I don't see why it should, unless he is absolutely deadset on you not working. The fact that your biggest goal is family is the bigger factor imo. Given that I will not hear back from graduate schools until January, should I just pause going on dates for now? How much of your time is grad school going to take? Will you have time for serious dating? How long will your degree take?
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/24 02:00 PM
-3

This are quite a few red flags you describe here that counter your statement about him being a nice guy. What about being with him makes your life better than being alone?
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/24 01:30 PM
1

Haha I think so, but he doesn't want it as much as I do 🤣
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/24 01:04 PM
2

What are your respective love languages? Work on giving/receiving in his/yours. Both physical touch. It seems from the comments that you two are quite busy. Anyway to cut back and make more time for the marriage? No unfortunately his addiction recovery takes up an extensive amount of time, but is better than the alternative so I don't complain. Realistically it's about 9-12 hours a week. Schedule time together. Walks, sex, cocktails, sex, watching TV together, sex...whatever it happens to be. He…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/24 10:04 PM
1

I know a lot of my anxiety is from the areas we are trying to repair, so they sustained quite a bit of damage. I think that is more what I meant by not caring.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/24 08:23 PM
1

Ok will do!
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/24 06:39 PM
3

Thats an interesting idea! I'm not sure how he will feel about it but I can try it!
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/24 06:35 PM
2

Thanks. I wish I could learn to not care, to just leave him alone, and not need him truthfully. Then I could get off this rollercoaster.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/24 05:26 PM
1

We tried to connect last night, but it was an epic fail so now things are super tense. Prior to that he said he wanted to see if we could go on a date this weekend, so I guess I'll try to plan something fun for him and hopefully things will get better sooner rather than later.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/24 01:59 PM
2

I feel like there’s two parts to this, one is spending time together doing things, like taking a walk, doing some hobby/activity that you both enjoy, etc. Also giving him a non-sexual massage. We don't do the first part very often, but I'm trying to work on that! The second part I do pretty frequently, in addition to other things! So like, writing down things about him (and in general) you are grateful for and doing chores/tasks/errands with the mindset of serving your husband/family/relationshi…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/24 11:48 PM
1

This man is your spouse? So you see them every day? Yes, I apologize I will edit my post! We see each other most days Cleaning and organizing. Most men appreciate neat and tidy homes. Decorating with his comfort in mind. What can you do to your home to make his life easier. We share in the household chores, but I also pay someone to come weekly for deep cleaning lol. It took awhile to come to the exceptance that time also has a price. Dressing well all the time. I do this most of the time :) Tha…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/24 10:48 PM
1

We don't often eat together unfortunately.... I work nights three times a week, and he has his meetings at least twice a week at night. He said he wanted to go on walks but it hasn't happened yet...I can ask him if he is willing to even if it is dark though 😊
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/24 10:34 PM
3

I personally think this idea that someone you are not married to has to check in with you every day is absurd. Why is it absurd to want to connect with your spouse on a daily basis? I don't want a lack of text message to make me think a man doesn't care for me. He might just be busy. I specifically said other than texting because I personally don't want to text. The more confidence you have the less reassurance you'll need from a man. There are issues we are working through that lead to a need f…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/24 10:07 PM
2

I'm so confused....
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/24 01:46 PM
1

What kind of relationship does he want? Has he verbalized that outside of the book?
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/24 02:14 PM
2

If this is a boundary in a relationship and not something you want to participate in as a wife then the conversation is going to be damaging and would be better left alone.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/24 02:12 PM
3

Yes, some women enjoy and like sex. But there are some that engage in it due to social proof, trauma, mental illness. It takes a lot of sifting and I have known many guys that had to deal with that. Yes, I agree, many people do have to sift through a lot of things in sexual relationship. I can't fight your last sentence because it was great. Thank you, I do appreciate that. About the clamming up comment, most guys don't want a woman that negatively changes because of them. I enjoy fun sex. Many …
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/24 02:08 PM
7

Most women I knew that were "high sex drived" were that way due to something or a need to trap a man. Due to what? For the short term? Yellow flag. Why? I wouldn't clam up to be more classy, but I would be more conscious of why you are doing it. This feels like another stereotype...men who want sex less are doing something wrong and women who want sex more must be trapping or have trauma. Some women definitely just enjoy sex, especially with a partner that they can trust and are safe to be compl…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/24 01:16 PM
1

He had full panels done, but has another one coming up. He doesn't feel bad at all, not fatigued, not having any symptoms, etc and his libido is where it has pretty much been his whole life. He is also cautious about trying to increase his libido because he is in porn addiction recovery.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 08:06 PM
1

His testosterone is fine, this is just how he has always been. It's not technically low, just lower than mine.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 07:31 PM
1

Late 30s-early 40s.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 03:22 PM
7

Our dynamic has gotten better since we have learned to communicate better, have been working through some of our relationship problems, and have made progress with compromise. It used to be very tough because he would want me to initiate but would be frustrated if I initiated at a time he wasn't in the mood, no matter how I went about it. But over the last couple months we have been working on solutions, and I would say maybe the last month/month and a half we have reached a place were sexual te…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 10:01 AM
46

I'm a woman, but imo most men think they want someone with a very high drive, until they actually have them in a LTR. I think it is a tough subject because just like women can feel shameful about wanting sex so much, men can also feel shame because they have always been told they will want sex more than women. So both sides are questioning if there is something wrong with them. It won't be an issue at first of course. But for long term relationships it will have a lot to do with how you handle t…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 07:50 AM
3

If you work/go to school he needs to absolutely take care of his portion of your shared responsibilities at home. I was really evaluate what you want long term, because there is a parade of red flags....
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/24 01:16 AM
3

It sounds like you're making your interests and hobbies a personality trait, which is annoying to most people. Most people enjoy interacting with people they have things in common with. I'm sure there are things you do around men that totally scream that you're a girl or a woman. Bond with other women through that stuff. Such as?
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/24 06:14 AM
7

I would, and you need to ask that they add herpes to the panel of testing because it is not standard practice. I personally would no longer allow him to touch me, especially while pregnant.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/24 05:55 AM
1

No kidding lol.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/24 06:51 PM
2

I agree. This almost sounds like a fetish, and I would never condone this or compromise my own moral values to stoop to this level.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/24 06:45 PM
2

Do you want them to see this as normal? Sadly, they will also learn you are not worthy of respect by how he treats you. Kids are more perceptive than we give them credit for.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/24 06:28 PM
3

The likelihood that he is doing all of these things and on sites seeking out fetish partners, but nothing physical has occurred, is shockingly and statistically significantly low. You have full justification to leave, please don't allow the manipulation to make you question yourself 💔
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/24 06:21 PM
4

Honestly that makes me so happy for you! I know it isn't a popular view, but I believe all women should have marketable job skills to fall back on.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/24 06:06 PM
2

Exactly!
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/24 06:02 PM
11

Respectfully, this should be titled "How to Destroy Your Mental Well-being in 12 Easy Steps." Joining him, watching him, talking about why he loves cheating more than her, what other women do for him that he just can't resist, and being friends with the women that are actively disrespecting her and her marriage will not help her or her marriage. Enabling this behavior is unhealthy at best, and I can't imagine she wants her children to see this is what a relationship should be.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/24 05:58 PM
4

Don't sacrifice your integrity. Instead, I would look at learning a marketable skill for supporting you and your children.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/24 05:52 PM
13

It may not be RP principal (though he is also not a worthy Captain), but I would practice gray-rocking for your own well-being. Don't fight with him or allow his manipulation to elicit a response. Calmly state your boundaries (no intimacy while he is unfaithful, sleeping in separate beds, etc are ALL COMPLETELY RATIONAL), and walk away when he is manipulative. If I show not trusting him he makes a big deal and says “trust me.” And gets upset I don’t trust him. Along the lines of my previous stat…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/24 04:15 PM
12

I agree, it is being unfaithful. To him, at least he claims, he does not see it as unfaithful since it is not in person. I think he may be dishonest with himself. It sounds like he is justifying what he has no intentions of stopping. No, every single thing before and after marriage I have found. Even when I’ve brought evidence to him he first deflects and lies still. The only thing he told me about before marriage without me finding out was that he watches porn and wanted to stop. It sounds like…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/24 04:06 PM
3

Seek out women in your field or in similar fields through mutual interest groups, networking, church, hobbies, etc! I'm very anti PC and I love discussing and debating taboo topics. Same! I saw an interesting perspective once that discussed what we label as masculine vs feminine; how they are human traits, not gendered traits, how all men and women are a combination of "masculine" and "feminine" characteristics, and how personality is not based on gender. It challenged a lot of long standing bel…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/24 04:01 PM
26

For the whole 1.5 years. My husband has been calling, texting, sexting, planning meet up(claiming just fantasy), and lying/.manipulating me when I call it out. In a monogamous relationship, unless other terms have been agreed upon, this is unfaithfulness. Claiming it's a fantasy is an attempt at justification and likely avoiding consequences. I have first reflected (and asked him) my part in it at the beginning of my marriage. This is not your fault, and your actions do not cause your partner to…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/24 03:28 PM
2

For me it is something so special now that I no longer have to compete...seeing how he looks at me now is an instant turn on!
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 10:34 PM
7

Not the OP, but I know for me it depends on the state of the relationship and how boundaries are being respected. I love doing sexual things for my husband, but not if it feels like I'm competing.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 07:41 PM
9

Noticing someone is attractive is one thing. Thinking about them, seeking out opportunities to see them, fantasizing, etc shouldn't be considered normal imo, especially in a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 07:10 PM
12

This would be an absolutely not for us.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 05:49 PM
2

That is something that is going to be different based on everyone's boundaries and experiences.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 05:46 PM
3

7 days?!
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 05:00 AM
1

Ah gotcha, thank you for clarifying! I guess I had construed some of the advice I had received as being a negative view of my not needing my husband's guidance or leadership in many areas, so I was surprised to see the perspective. Teamwork can indeed mean a lot of things! We see it as a lot of trust because we do align on goals, so we also have our own areas if that makes sense. Not over riding each other of course, just trusting judgement in areas we each excel in if that makes sense.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/24 03:15 AM
1

I can delete my comment if that is better, as it was from what appears to be a fundamental misunderstanding of some of the principles.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/24 02:17 AM
1

I may have misunderstood some of the principles, so I apologize. I was just asking because it seemed opposite of RPW ideology; I promise I wasn't trying to make a positive situation negative. I know I was counseling very strongly that that is not how RP is supposed to work, so I will just apologize to the OP for misunderstanding.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/24 10:11 PM
1

Ok no worries.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/24 10:00 PM
2

3) He is the one acting/ruling outside the home - I am the one acting/ruling inside. What do you mean by this? 5) We both lead active social lives. We stay faithful and loyal to each other. What tangible boundaries exist to support this? We also decided to actively not protect against pregnancy. My current workload and the stage of my thesis allow for becoming a mother in the next 1-2 years and slowly stay in the job-game at the same time. You plan to work, finish your thesis/PhD, and have a new…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/24 03:11 PM
2

Thank you! I'm glad we didn't lose that opportunity, because having the entire day together was very nice 😊
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/24 02:21 PM
2

We ended up "hashing it out" the night that I made the post and ended up on really good terms the next day! We went shooting, went to an arcade, and then had a really nice dinner 😊 He said he is better able to recognize when he is "in his own way" and when how he feels is no longer logical, but he is struggling to let it go in the moment. He said he has been working on this in counseling but going to talk to his therapist more about it. Imo, he is struggling with both high avoidant tendencies an…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/24 02:15 PM
1

We ended up working things out the night before and actually had a great day yesterday 😊
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/24 12:13 AM
1

I agree! We ended up talking the night I made the post and actually had a great day yesterday. He did acknowledge he was wrong and apologized...he was frustrated he couldn't seem to get out of his own way, but he is going to work harder at it.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/24 12:12 AM
0

Which came first ? The chicken or the egg? Did he start lying/hiding/disappointing because you’re bossy and domineering? Or was he always this way and you vetted poorly? Because if it’s the first then you can draw a line under everything you and he have done to each other and start anew. Not the OP, however, I would caution at assigning actions to the behavior of someone else. Lying, intentionally hurting, manipulation, and gaslighting are absolutely wrong, and he wasn't forced to do any of the …
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/24 08:27 PM
1

It sounds like you both have a lot of work ahead of you. However there are a few things I noticed in your post. Why does it feel like I'm letting him "get off the hook" with all of the wrong he has done to me? There has been a lot of lying, hiding things, purposely doing things to hurt me, not having my back, lack of consistency, not following through on promises, hypocrisy, etc that I have witnessed in my husband. He is CHRONICALLY the type of man who will do anything in his power (even if it m…
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/24 08:21 PM
26

Not making an accusation, just asking....is porn/masturbation a potential issue?
/r/RedPillWives12/10/24 09:41 PM
6

For example, today I took my daughter to a park before my partner woke up and when he saw the pictures I posted he got upset for not inviting him. I would have never considered asking first when my kids were little, but we also had an understanding that the rare times we were off together we traded off who got to sleep in. Now he’s locked in our room and it’s almost noon. This is not leader behavior. Have y'all talked about what you actually want from each other in your relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 08:37 PM
2

I wanted to update u/TheBunk_TB, u/Independent-Story883, u/anothergoodbook, and u/OK_Obligation_6110... We did end up getting into an argument last night unfortunately, but it eventually led to a pretty vulnerable conversation and making amends. We are in a much better place today. We have a tough dynamic we are both trying to work through; he is severely avoidant and anxious/dismissive, and I am severely anxiously/disorganized attached. It will be a long process for sure, but we are making some…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 01:12 PM
2

Yeah this is a big improvement of what it used to be.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 08:36 PM
2

Thank you 💕
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 08:20 PM
2

Yeah I really don't know what I'm going to do yet. Going on a "date" where I am stonewalled the entire time isn't exactly ideal for my mental health. Dates are already triggering enough for me, but I have been doing better and I don't want to lose that progress.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 08:01 PM
1

Oh yeah he's always been big on stonewalling. This is actually much much better than it used to be. At least now he will acknowledge me and briefly give answers. It used to be days and days of him ignoring me completely. Edit: No he has never been able to fake it for even five minutes. Also I offered a mental health day and he said no. I offer for him to do stuff for himself all the time and he doesn't feel like it.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 07:41 PM
2

Thanks, I appreciate that. You get a day off whether it’s with him or not. Put on some music, light a candle, do your thing - if he participates and cheers up - awesome. If not let him know it’s okay and that you’re glad he also got a day off to relax in whatever way he chose. He planned the whole day, so its mostly all stuff he likes, but I was ok with that. He said he wants to keep our plans, but he doesn't know how he will be able to want to be around me. He said right now the best he can pro…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 07:32 PM
1

You don’t want to regret later when you’re really overwhelmed and could use a day off that you wasted an opportunity to try and connect. He said he wants to keep all our plans, he just doesn't know how he will force himself to want to be around me. My husband for example HAS to go running every morning and is very inflexible about it even on vacation but I realize now he needs to do that on his own for the sake of his mental health and mood for the rest of the day so I make sure to give him time…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 07:30 PM
0

He said he won't cancel because one of the activities is something he enjoys doing on his own. He said right now he doesn't really want to talk to me or be around me, and he needs nothing from me, but we can still keep our plans. I'm honestly just considering canceling myself since it's pretty clear this is going to go very poorly.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 06:39 PM
1

I asked him and his only answer was "nothing."
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 06:31 PM
2

He has been talking to several men he is close with from his support group and he sees a therapist once a week (his support groups are twice a week) thankfully! He doesn't feel he needs medical treatment because he only deals with it occasionally... honestly he knows my opinion, but I am working on not being codependent any more. I have pushed relentlessly over the years and finally got him to get his B/P and sleep apnea well controlled, but at this point he is a grown man and needs to take resp…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 04:34 PM
3

"and I have no idea what we should do. " As it pertains to your date day or his depression? Both. If not the date day, just tell him you are here for him. I have. It's just wearing on me honestly to be expected to be totally rejected and just be waiting around for him to decide to be around me again. BTW, if someone hasn't told you this, you need to start putting your marriage/relationship towards the top of things you find important. You are the third person on this post to say this, so I'm thi…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 03:49 PM
3

Correct, we rarely have entire days to ourselves. We still have go on dates, go to "bed" early with the door shut and have our time, etc. but there are some extenuating circumstances as well.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 03:41 PM
2

How am I putting my kids first before my marriage? I simply said we were dealing with some stressful situations with our kids. Edit: we still go on dates and what not.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 03:00 PM
2

Thanks, I will ask him about this!
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 02:56 PM
1

He definitely is not suicidal or I would have addressed that (besides being his wife, I'm also a mandated reporter). I would only say this “ Tell me what you need most from me when you behave this way— because i dont know” Be open to what he asks of you. That's the frustrating part. He says he "doesn't know" but leaving him alone makes him feel unloved, and pursuing him makes him close off more.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 02:44 PM
2

Thanks for this. I also struggle with depression, so I get that aspect. I guess my biggest level of disappointment is we almost never have a full kid free day... maybe a couple times a year? And we are so disconnected now (it's been almost two weeks of no sex, plus the emotional disconnect) that it is hard not to be angry if he throws out plans out the window.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 02:32 PM
4

He did say that I approach everything from a logical/scientific standpoint and that sometimes it feels cold and masculine. But I do not understand how that is a bad trait to have? I personally do the same thing, and I don't believe it is a negative trait to have. Nor do I believe having a logical/scientific mindset is masculine or feminine, it just is. His main complaints were that I am completely unemotional, not very sensitive, and I don’t do the lovey-dovey things that other women do in relat…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/24 09:42 PM
3

You are welcome 💕
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/24 07:06 PM
13

I slept around BECAUSE I already felt just so deeply damaged. In fact, now I feel a tiny bit better about myself and am no longer entertaining casual sex. I went through the same thing, except my number was much higher than yours. I still feel too damaged for anything real. I want someone to love me, to be supported and cherished. You are worthy of this and your mistakes don't change that💕 But I whenever I see that I think that the person will be so angry when he finds out who I really am (not t…
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/24 04:52 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWives03/10/24 12:14 PM
1

Why someone would downvote this is beyond me....
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 01:41 PM
1

He is 💕
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 12:18 PM
4

I love this so much💕 My past was extensive, and I was upfront about it from the start of the relationship. My number was probably at least 4x his, he knew some of the pain and trauma behind it, but he said the past doesn't matter, only the present.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 04:55 AM
10

If I could give one piece of advice it would be believe people when they show you who they are.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 04:50 AM
3

Thank you 💕
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/24 06:42 PM
3

I wasn't always this way, but we are both working on ourselves. There were years of lying, emotional abuse, using porn against me, and utter rejection. I was incredibly codependent, and eventually just angry, bitter, and resentful. I hated myself (and still struggle with that) and I hated him for convincing me I wasn't worth it or good enough. I regret a lot of things, as does he. He knows that no matter how supportive I had been he wasn't willing to quit until he was actually ready, and even th…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/24 06:40 PM
7

I'm sure it doesn't help that society tries to present it as normal, and women who have a problem with it are controlling. When something is so normalized, very little understanding or support is available, which then increases the isolation and shame. My husband also attends SAA as well as another recovery group. It took him a long time to be able to attend because of how ashamed he was. He tried hard to white knuckle his way through, but learned the hard way not only does that not work, it doe…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/24 05:25 PM
8

My husband is in recovery, and even years later the shame of what he did and how depraved he got tears him up :(
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/24 05:10 PM
4

Behaviors speak far louder than words. As I said, my husband and I both work and have very comparable incomes now, though he made more than me most of the marriage. There have been times where I had to be out of work for childbirth, injuries/surgeries, etc and he never once complained about it not being fair that he was the only one paying. When we were dating I don't think he ever once asked me to pay. I offered to at times, but I also planned things for him, got him gifts, did little things to…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/24 05:08 PM
6

He shared a couple of reasons for his decision: how dating is expensive and he doesn’t think it’s fair how he has to front all the cost of getting to know someone (especially since he is waiting for sex); he doesn’t want to be used -girls in the past have taken advantage of him- and he isn’t saying he wants me to pay 50/50 just some of the time. Mentioned it would be a red flag for him if I was not open to reciprocating. This seems like a potentially pretty big at least orange flag this early in…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/24 04:52 PM
10

OP definitely listen to this advice u/INFeriorJudge is giving. Unfortunately most women are not told about compulsive porn use and usually learn about it the hard way later. For many men porn fullfills unmet emotional needs, numbs out emotions/feelings of inadequacy, etc. Compulsive use is rarely about sex or libido. On the flip side, many men who struggle with compulsive/addictive porn use also feel a lot of shame, leading them to hide that side of themselves and inadvertently feeding the addic…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/24 04:51 PM
2

OYS Number: 1 OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: late 30s/early 40s, married 16 years with two teenagers Gratitude list: 1) I am thankful for a marriage relationship that went from hopeless to improving daily. 2) I am thankful for my kids and the times that they do want to still spend time with me. 3) I am thankful that despite work stress I have a marketable skill that will always allow me to support myself if in need. 4) I am thankful for the close friendships I am developing. 5) I am tha…
/r/RedPillWives28/09/24 04:56 PM
9

Sex... Sex shouldn't be an obligation, but rather something you look forward to, approach with passion and desire, and lose yourself in. Enthusiasm goes a long way, but so does learning him and knowing how to absolutely blow his mind! Most men who are with enthusiastic, passionate partners will also have an intense desire to please them as well! If not, this needs to be a conversation, because while there is a time and place for taking care of your man with no expectations of reciprocation, this…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/24 12:22 PM
–

Maybe just how we each perceived it. I felt it was that way even when just reading her stuff, hearing her narrate just confirmed it lol.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 07:48 PM
2

Gotcha. Yeah it sounds like learning style preferences, I just happen to be audio and visual learner. I also usually write journal entries about it afterwards. I think it is also best to work in what you can...if you have the extra time and energy to do written books that is awesome! I guess I was maybe confused on the question being why I don't like Laura Doyle and then the focus shifting to audiobooks vs written books.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 06:28 PM
1

Is there something you feel is wrong with audiobooks?
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 06:21 PM
2

Nothing wrong with that! Haha my husband saw my audible library and at first laughed at me and then asked if he should be worried....its a collection of self-help, true crime, and psychological thrillers 🤣
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 05:41 PM
2

I have found audible to be pretty good overall! Occasionally there is a bad narrator, but not too often!
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 05:29 PM
2

Thats cool. I used to read more, but don't have a lot of time for it now. I find it motivating to listen to audiobooks, especially when doing chores/tasks I don't necessarily want to do haha.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 05:26 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 10:06 AM
2

In my personal opinion, I find her to be very condescending, passive aggressive, and truthfully just derogatory toward women. Listening to her narrate her own book showed her tone matched.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 10:06 AM
1

Not the OP, but I will say there have been many times in my life my depression was independent of my relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/24 08:06 PM
4

I see what you are saying, thank you for explaining! I am very transparent with him, and I presented it (this is very simplified version) as these are the things I have read and learned, and this is what I realized that I have been doing to you and how I have been negatively affecting our marriage, and I don't want to continue doing that. I took these principles and pointed out the examples I recognized through application and introspection, and expressed why I was remorseful for my actions. I a…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/24 02:40 PM
3

Why would they not be genuine and authentic if I tell him?
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/24 07:01 AM
4

Thank you 💕
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/24 10:53 PM
1

Makes sense!
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 08:53 PM
1

Per individual or per couple?
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 08:07 PM
2

It's hard not to be that way if it is your natural tendency. Block those things, so it is more out of sight, out of mind.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 04:11 PM
3

You are welcome! I tend to be the same way and hyperfixate, but I'm learning what is not healthy or beneficial. I'm also much older than you and my kids are probably close to your age lol.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 04:08 PM
1

I really fix up for special occasions, and otherwise have a five minute routine. Moisturizer, serum, concealer/correction powder, tarte fake awake (seriously that stuff is amazing!) on my water line, and mascara. That's it, but it gives a natural and attractive look :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 04:01 PM
12

I'm new to all of this, so take it with a grain of salt! I honestly want to take the red pill and see how the world is but I just can't because most of the content I see just seems too angry and honestly hurts me a lot inside. I guess this is mostly referring to TRP instead or RPW, but I was hoping you guys could help me on this? This just seems like a more softer place. TRP is infuriating to me, and I refuse to buy into it! I do agree with many things RPW, but not all, and that is ok too! I hav…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 03:53 PM
16

Middle-income men (skilled trades, middle management and below white collar) in the U.S., as far as I've seen, generally prefer to marry a woman with low to moderate earning potential (a sort of safety net or occasional supplement for the family), strong household management skills (can you make a beautiful home out of discount furniture and DIYs), and a similar level of desired upward mobility. I find middle-class white-collar guys generally prefer to marry women with jobs they consider "respec…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 03:38 PM
1

Perhaps it's just culturally then. I haven't met a lot of men who hate tattoos or see them as a deal breaker. Even my own husband my only got together he had no tattoos and he didn't start getting them until several years later.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/24 10:19 PM
1

Oh ok, so it's more cultural based if I'm understanding correctly?
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/24 09:35 PM
1

Why is getting tattoos considered risk taking behavior (assuming they are being done professionally)?
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/24 09:27 PM
2

You have the standard bar in the basement, no disrespect intended. Throughout my marriage I have gained and lost weight, I have struggled with mental health issues, I have had surgeries, I have dealt with chronic illness, etc. I'm sure it looked terrible when my husband accidentally saw me open on the table and the Dr putting both arms in my abdomen during my c-section. I'm sure it looked terrible puking my guts up when I was sick. I'm sure it looked terrible when I was so exhausted from life th…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/24 02:29 PM
1

My husband is a very sensitive man, he is a nerd and also a bit of a loner but he has opportunities to make friends. Minus the nerd part, mine is the same. He is sensitive, quiet, and very avoidant, while also scared of getting hurt. Because of this making friends isn't really something he ever tries to do because he has been burned before. He was severely bullied throughout school and ended up with no friends. Same for mine. I think all of those experiences affected his masculinity. Perhaps tha…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 08:13 PM
1

Wow thank you, that post you referenced was extremely insightful!!! Although I don't love the phrasing of STFU, that was the first time I felt that I saw it used in a rational and constructive way!
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 02:45 PM
1

Thank you! I will check that post out, this seems like good advice!
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 02:00 PM
2

My partner is from a very patriarchal culture but sees himself as being very 'woke' when it comes to gender roles, to the point of saying he prefers independent women and female-led relationships. But when I try to act that way (as is in my cultural background) he responds very negatively to it and I have felt like I just wasn't good enough for him. Mine is the same...he prefers it independent women and prefers not to have to lead. I have often felt very frustrated because he seems to want this,…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 11:26 AM
2

If he is similar in that he responds positively to small doses but negatively to larger like mine, then perhaps we can ease them into it. I like this idea! For example mine doesn't mind opening jars or taking lead when we are trying to find a place in an unknown environment or initiating intimacy, so perhaps I should show more appreciation for those things. Mine doesn't prefer these things, but I think I will try to create a list of things he does do. And not (yet anyway) ask or hope for the thi…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 10:26 AM
21

This is an excellent answer! Jumping ship like this points to him only wanting you at your best and not loving you at your worst. So many things effect your body: mental/physical well-being, aging, pregnancy, breastfeeding, etc. I know for me after having kids even though the same number on the scale didn't look bad, it definitely looked different after kids than it did before. I also struggle with mental health, and some seasons of my life have been about survival, and maintaining weight/fitnes…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 09:10 AM
3

Thank you for this. He knows there isn't a ton of trust there, but perhaps telling him I trust him over time would also create a desire to find solutions.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 08:54 AM
2

It's like he wants it but only in a very small dose. This is a very very good description! The other possibility could be that he has a lot of responsibility in his work and then it becomes too much to have the same in his home life, and then I think it just needs to be different in the home life, still be being protective and take care of his woman but in a way that doesn't remind him of work. His job can be stressful, but for the most part I don't think it is a lot. He usually has a lot of dow…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 08:52 AM
1

Ok thanks.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 08:49 AM
1

Thank you! I thought about doing it, but when I was reading through past ones I thought you had to implement the principles and then do the field report.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 08:48 AM
1

I really don't know truthfully, but it would seem so, since he is hurt I don't. I'm not sure what ways to go about needing him though? How do I become needy for lack of better word without him knowing it's fake?
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 01:27 AM
2

Oh ok, sorry I misunderstood about them not being by her! Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 12:52 AM
2

Haha yep!
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 12:52 AM
1

I will be completely honest, I don't believe the concept of "I'm a sorry excuse for a human being without my husband" and many other concepts she advocates for. I find her very passive aggressive and condescending, which is wildly ironic given her teachings lol. I will look at it though. Someone in the sub recommended another book... I thing the title is something like The Alpha Woman's Guide to Men and Marriage. I am reading that now.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 12:47 AM
2

Thankfully I only work 3 days a week, occasionally 4.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 12:41 AM
1

Ok thanks.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 12:41 AM
1

Because never being angry is not realistic, and you can be respectful even in anger. Not discussing anything that is "his fault" so he doesn't feel uncomfortable just leads to major resentment and the issues don't actually get processed and resolved. Sometimes I just hate being expected to always be the one to extend the olive branch if you will, even if I did nothing wrong. It feels like a lack of taking ownership to be completely honest. I have NO ISSUES being the one when I am in the wrong.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 12:40 AM
1

He has been getting better...he doesn't ignore me completely any more when he is mad. He wants me to talk, but nicely and without anger (even when well warranted). He doesn't want to discuss if he was wrong because he "already knows." He wants me to extend kindness when we are frustrated with each other so we can start over and move on, but he also doesn't want me to have any physical contact with him if he is angry.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 12:22 AM
2

Also, I was trying to not talk about my day (we work opposite shifts) because I was seeing a lot of advice about being a soft place to land, pleasant, peaceful, not complaining, not discussing problems without solutions, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 12:20 AM
2

Extreme resentment, passive aggressiveness, dismissiveness, sarcasm, not needing him. Edit: not needing him is tricky. He doesn't want to be needed, but he is also hurt by the fact that I don't need him. Just like a lot of our relationship, it feels like damned if you do and damned if you don't.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 12:17 AM
1

Thanks. He gets mad when I STFU in arguments because he knows I'm just not saying what I feel.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 12:16 AM
1

Oh, one other detail I just thought about. When I get upset (but not lashing out) because it is a hurtful truth, he sees that as using it against him.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 11:56 PM
1

Have you read secret of fascinating womanhood? Here’s a link to the pdf : https://penelopesoasis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/secrets-of-fascinating-womanhood.pdf Thank you. So far Laura Doyle has been very disappointing and off putting for me, but I will check it out. I don’t know what is the problem with venting about work, but have you tried talking about work but in (mostly) a positive ways ? So you guys can feel connected but you’re not venting. There is not a lot of positive unfortunatel…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 11:40 PM
1

I do.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 11:35 PM
1

Correct, thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 11:25 PM
1

He has done this his whole life. He grew up seeing that it was ok to lie if it avoided conflict. Yes, especially since I have explained thousands of times (no exaggeration) how lying affects me and our relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 11:13 PM
1

No. He has always lied to avoid anything uncomfortable or that he didn't want to deal with, lied to avoid fights, or lied to avoid hurting me.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 11:11 PM
1

Avoidance, not fighting, not hurting me. He is genuinely working on not doing it, but it could be about anything. He grew up with the idea of avoiding conflict at all cost.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 11:03 PM
1

Lying-him, hurtful words, sarcasm, passive aggressiveness-both. I don't need to be protective, but it would be nice if he felt protective of me if that makes sense. I have tried to tell him about the problem solving.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 11:00 PM
2

Perhaps. I definitely meant irl as well. How does one age of a type of personality/behavior?
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 02:03 PM
2

I was specifically talking about those things you listed that were NOT appearance, as you classified that as genetics, NOT behavior. Maybe its just a difference in culture or perception, and that is why I didn't understand, but no he n we not saying in ANY way you must look like a child. I have never heard of adorable being used to describe adult behavior, that is all.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 02:00 PM
19

I am a wife and I also have a career. I have worked hard to get to wear I am in every area, and I don't think that is wrong. Yes I am a wife and mother, and yes those are the most important roles I have, but I'm also ME, a woman who as an individual has dreams, desires, goals, likes/dislikes, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 01:57 PM
6

I'm sorry?? I wasn't doing anything in bad faith, I was asking a genuine question and then made a joke about why I struggle knowing what it means in a different context.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 01:53 PM
3

What would you say is adorable behavior? Lol that brings to mind a child or baby animal.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 01:51 PM
1

What would you say makes a woman adorable?
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 01:44 PM
1

I agree, though this often takes a lot of trial and error.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 12:50 PM
2

He knows about it, and like myself agrees with certain aspects but not others. He doesn't want a wife who isn't equal, nor does he want a wife who can't share her viewpoint or opinions.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 12:41 PM
4

I thought maybe some of this stuff (as reported in OP's summaries) was just bad phrasing summarizing a more complex concept, but no, it's literal quotes. I finished it a little bit ago and you are right, they are direct quotes! I'm not going to waste any more time in finding out if mayyybe it's not so bad if I squint my eyes and look at it sideways under the moonlight on a cloudless night on November 13th. It's bad. Really bad. I'm glad to see it isn't just me who feels this way! I'm with my hus…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 11:33 AM
2

Ok thanks.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 11:23 AM
5

OP, respectfully, from your post history I think you might benefit from a different book than one that tells you "without your husband, you'd be a sorry excuse for a human being". Not the OP, but I will say this whole premise in itself shocked me. Perhaps there is another context it is meant in that I missed, but this seems to teach women that their worth is in their husbands.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 10:47 AM
1

It was an audiobook narrated by her lol. I don't want to make a post yet. Still pretty new to exploring and was instantly downvoted for asking questions :(
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 02:39 AM
1

My husband said he would like me to be carefree and fun, but I don't know what that even looks like:( and I have no desire to STFU about stuff that matters, but the stupid stuff I can't seem to do it when my hormones are raging....any advice?
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 02:36 AM
1

She seems so harsh and condescending toward women that it is really hard to receive the actual message :(
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 02:27 AM
1

So what's the best way to answer if he wants to know about what happened?
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 08:02 PM
1

Would expressing frustration about your day count as complaining (not being dumb I promise)? Edit: If it is, how should I answer questions about frustrations during the day?
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 07:45 PM
1

Hmm ok thank you. The not complaining, is that just about him/the marriage or just anything in general?
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 07:24 PM
3

Yeah I found it hard to get past the harshness and condescension to get to the message truthfully. Also, it it NOT a guarantee that doing those things will automatically change our husbands, but the message seems to be more of oh well he doesn't have to change. I like your equation analogy!!
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 07:23 PM
1

What would you say brings most men peace?
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 06:41 PM
1

the most healthy relationships are one's in which each person understands what their partner wants and needs out of a relationship. Very good point! most men I know don't want a strong willed woman. so that would cause problems from the jump. Fortunately that was something he found/finds very attractive! most men I know want their woman to stay fit, bring him peace, sex at least twice a week, loyalty and to handle her business in the house and with kids. I want sex more than him (problematically…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 06:03 PM
1

Yeah unfortunately the GFE doesn't work for my husband either, as he doesn't want sex more than about 1-2 times a week on average. He would just feel anxious over me trying to initiate again:(
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 03:34 PM
6

I have started listening to this book, and I find myself taking frequent breaks. I'm trying to see past the tone, but it's tough (audiobook read by the author, so lol not a perceived tone). I'm also struggling with the premise...not so much that women are responsible for their own behavior, but that women are responsible for their behavior and their husband's behavior. Hopefully the "meat and potatoes" of the book make the breaks worth it haha.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 11:57 AM
7

Not the OP, but the only place I get men messaging me is Reddit. It is so ridiculous!
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/24 03:24 AM
1

Since I'm getting downvoted, perhaps my meaning was misunderstood. My husband doesn't see himself as above me or me beneath him. We both trust the other to make the best choice in the areas that we each excel in, even if they aren't traditional gender roles. We discuss a lot of things and he values my views and opinions equally; we see eyes to eye on most major things, and on lesser things usually we mutually go by who it is most important to. He prefers it that way, it is not at my insistence.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 08:16 PM
2

No. There have been issues with attention directed at other women but that has been worked through. Just the issues that we've dealt with aren't really something I'm super comfortable going into, but they are issues that he has acknowledged the wrong and he is actively fixing. With the day-to-day stuff I'm not worried about being right, and I've actually gotten a lot better at just accepting that we may have different viewpoints or opinions and that's okay :)
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 06:02 PM
1

Thank you for your input, I appreciate it.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 05:42 PM
5

Husbands need be respected above all else. You can achieve that reframing your mindset to actively choose love and gratitude. I strongly believe that love isn't just a feeling but also a verb. Do small things with great love because intimacy is built and kept in these small moments. Try: cooking his favorite meal, serve him a drink with a kiss, give him peaceful downtime, keep the bedroom hot and active, listen to him yap about that hobby you don't find interesting, give him compliments, praise …
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 05:42 PM
0

I view him as the leader, but we are partners not one above the other.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 05:23 PM
1

That's cute, but no I don't waste my time with illogical arguments. I also know that your view of women is wildly wrong, but I'm guessing that is why you are so bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 01:55 PM
1

Hahahahahaha I'm going to guess you are single and bitter huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 01:46 PM
1

Wow this is such a misogynistic view. Women are not best at cleaning and cooking, and the majority of women also work.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 01:23 PM
1

Women are much better at cooking and cleaning house so they should do that?? Anything else is "masculine"?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 01:17 PM
-3

I'm sorry, I really don't see what you mean, but thank you for the input.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 12:52 AM
-2

What do you mean about competition?
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 12:16 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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