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tia-now Archive

View 0 posts and 69 comments by tia-now on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

Huh. I always thought of male feminists as poster children for "Blue Pill". Not so?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/19 09:34 PM
3

I'm kind of jaded on the subject, but I think *part* of it comes down to men being more starved for baseline validation. Even a relatively attractive man doesn't get a lot of overt attention from women, so their "goal" (being wanted sexually) is relatively lower. Whereas women for the most part are in a position to take it for granted, and they do. Just like the wealthy are more likely to say, "money isn't that important". It's another symptom/example of "sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive"
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/19 05:02 PM
9

Yes, ladies. The first rule of Daddy Issue Club is you don’t actually call me daddy. If you break this rule, I will spank your naughty litt— god damn it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/19 10:12 AM
0

First of all the correlation of IQ and education by itself is specious. We all know there are a lot of brilliant dropouts and I’ve met more than one person with a graduate degree who didn’t seem like the brightest. Beyond that, while I might believe a higher percentage of low IQ or low education individuals would commit crimes vs those with higher of either, I think if you surveyed all criminals for all crimes (especially if you could include those who never got caught) it would paint a differen…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 07:51 PM
2

Nah I’m with you on that
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 07:29 PM
2

Fair enough, and to be fair the women I've been with were mostly either not experienced with it themselves or so wrapped up in their own that it becomes a different discussion. And half of the experience I was talking about was second hand, so I could be off base.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 06:31 PM
1

Ah, thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 06:25 PM
5

On further reflection and seeing some responses, I have to qualify my answer by saying men between the ages of 15-25 (around the time the brain is fully developed and they're mostly as emotionally mature as they're gonna get) ... within that younger subset of men, rape is probably more likely. Not because of hormones, but a lack of empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 06:17 PM
16

Holy shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 06:12 PM
3

Actually ... I only recently found out this is true! At least among the women I work with and two female friends. When they go out, they almost *have* to steal a glass. It's like a compulsion.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 06:11 PM
4

Oh, I know about red pill and blue pill. I don't consider myself either. That's why I joined this sub. It was sometime last year, though. I'll swing through the sidebar again.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 06:05 PM
3

Oh, I figured it out. All Women Aren't Like That? Mind you, I didn't say your experience wasn't valid. Just that in my experience, with the one LTR, it was me arguing that she didn't think they way every other woman I'd been with did. And I was right.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 05:53 PM
3

Sorry, I joined this sub thinking it would be interesting to see gender politics debated. What is AWALT?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 05:48 PM
2

Hmmm, well there is a scenario I hadn't considered. I'm a fairly sensitive guy who grew up without a male role model, AND it's been a long time since I had a girlfriend I could open up to at all, so I was projecting my experience as a young man. Another explanation I can relate to is that men will traditionally think in terms of problem-solving flowcharts, and sometimes an issue still bugs us but we feel like we've run all the possible paths forward and none of them are satisfying. That's when w…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 05:45 PM
1

As another user said, raping women en masse after invasion has been the historical norm. Oh! Well, I suppose if OP had asked "would most soldiers in a conquering army throughout history and from every culture rape the women of the land they'd invaded?" I may have to agree. You'd be an idiot not to understand what that says about impulses and the necessity of law. People have empathy but empathy doesn't go a long way when people are pushed to the extreme and resources are scarce, Most of that was…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 05:33 PM
6

Its amazing that men think they know what it's like to date men. How do YOU think men act when you get alone with them? It's fascinating. So much to unpack here. So let me get this straight ... you're talking to men about how men act, thinking that your experience as a woman who has dated men overrules their experience of actually being men? On a related note, I had one LTR with a woman who didn't seem all that into me, although she claimed she was. Long story short, she eventually found out I'd…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 05:18 PM
15

Nah, I find my friends usually get where I'm coming from. Women are generally way less empathetic than they think they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 04:59 PM
2

I've had many close male friends over the years, and they all have expressed the same worries, doubts, fears, sadness, disappointment, hurt, etc, that I and my female friends feel, when they get comfortable enough to open up. Getting warmer ... ​ My bf has a tendency to keep everything in, and his stated reason is he doesn't want to bother me wi Almost there ... So idk why he's like that Okay, now read most of the responses from men here, but let me do some older guy translation so you don't fal…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 04:56 PM
2

Well, if we're playing around with generalities and dichotomies ... IME most women, no matter how 'enlightened', are attracted to emotionally strong men, and repulsed (or at least less attracted to) a vulnerable or even conflicted man. For a lot of men, depression looks like a lack of ambition or motivation, and the women in their lives should have enough empathy and awareness to see it for what it is, but again IME they just get less attracted to the man and complain to their friends about him.…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 04:46 PM
1

Jesus. I'm really starting to pity people that walk around thinking so little of the general public.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 04:33 PM
3

I'll take it further and say a lot of people are misanthropes who assume all people are like them, only suppressing their selfish urges for fear of consequences.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 04:30 PM
2

a real-life scenario that doesn't have consequences and risks I can't relate to this. At all. You're basically already bought-in to OPs premise that the only thing stopping men from commiting rape is fear of consequences. It's alarming how people see others as devoid of empathy and principled decency.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 04:28 PM
0

I took 'coercion' in the sense that plays out in a lot of relationships every day. Man wants woman to 'want' him, so he does things that trigger that primal urge ... woman wants man to do things, so she triggers *his* primal urge by showing sexual intent. I'm not a RP, but to me that's at the core of the idea of seeing our intrapersonal politics for what they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 04:24 PM
3

Listen, all we know it's what's in our hearts and those of our friends. I think the behavior you're describing is like a lot of abhorrent behavior we talk about lately ... more prevalent than we might've thought 10-20 years ago, but definitely not as prevalent as the media and online comments might have you believe. I will say this, I know sometimes a woman will feel threatened by an angry man, and that a sexually frustrated man can lose his temper over it, but the connective synapse that would …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 04:17 PM
4

I only recently realized that my ex who claimed to want to be dominated, actually wanted this. She never got into being a sub and would start to fight me. Same boner-killing reaction on my part, but I might've played the role if we'd talked about it before.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 04:07 PM
3

Yeah, I totally missed that bias. Holy shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 04:04 PM
3

Huh? No! Hell, no! the large amount of online comments from men who say they would commit rape if they could completely get away with it I'm almost afraid to ask, but where did you see that? Myself, I would rather jerk off if the woman is anything less than enthusiastic. It's actually been a problem with two women who seemed to still have an old-fashioned idea that sex is something you do for a man, either as a reward or duty. I could see the idea you're floating being on the same messed-up spec…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 04:01 PM
7

"Sleptical" - Adj. - Creeping doubt that a recent sexual partner was truthful about their STD screen
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/19 10:03 PM
1

Probably not what you’re looking for, but to me the only problem is that this is the one area of modern society where you’re allowed to have prejudice based on your experiences or those of others.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/19 05:38 PM
3

Basically trying to separate sex from feelings, intimacy, etc. in an effort to "be okay" with how she seemed to feel about me. It gets to the heart of what I think OP was asking ... and what was wrong between me and her. I've only had one FWB, and it wasn't satisfying. For me, love and sex are pretty tightly integrated. I'm not a fan of casual sex for the same reason. EDIT: Oh, and what I mean by "how she seemed to feel about me" ... To me, there's a difference between being sexually attracted t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/19 04:09 PM
10

I had one very long term relationship that was a combination of a lot of the things you describe. She was mostly reactive, and lower drive than me, but once she got into it she was downright freaky. We had trouble communicating about it because she thought it came down to frequency and didn't understand that if she would have initiated more often, especially in a way that made me feel like I was at least *part* of the reason she was horny ... I'd have been fine with once or twice a week. She rar…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/19 06:12 PM
8

Are terps waging an ongoing campaign of memory fabrication and manipulation against us for the express purpose of making us question our own perception and recall? I'm neither TRP or TBP, and politically I'm a liberal but can't stand the Left. One of the biggest reasons is that they do exactly this almost constantly. I'm sorry if you feel that 'gaslighting' only applies to personal relationships, but when someone states outright falsehoods and/or ignores and twists reality that they *know* you w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/19 05:39 PM
1

That’s really it. I’ve only had one gf who was taller than me and I didn’t like it. Facing upward to kiss her felt like being in a Motörhead tribute band. Totally unnatural.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/19 04:58 PM
1

See?!? And you probably come off as stoic and mysterious. They want to figure you out and get you to open up. Down here, quiet comes off as creepy. Also, all things equal you’d beat me out for a job and you’re probably looked at as a natural leader. Damn you, tall guy. Damn you all to heck. Let me know if you need a sidekick, though. For real.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/19 04:56 PM
0

Hold on, it’s not a straw man. If you’re not talking about huge muscles then I honestly misunderstood you. We probably are talking about a similar body type but I achieved it after a couple of years of 5x5 strength training that I purposely didn’t keep pushing (increasing weight) once I was happy with how I looked and felt. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are other ways to achieve those aesthetic results. I do work out but it’s never been anything I’ve exhaustively studied.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/19 06:38 AM
0

Well to be fair we were talking about what’s attractive to women, weren’t we? I know there are women who find huge muscles attractive and to them I suppose those guys look better in a shirt. From what I’ve seen and heard, the average woman is more responsive to the kind of build that comes from training for functional strength rather than hypertrophy. Edit: And again the emphasis is on functional strength. Athletes. Not the guys who train to launch telephone poles or hurl kegs.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/19 06:26 AM
-2

The height thing is a bummer, if only because average height guys have to be extra conscious of all the other parts (and be funny and charming). I’m lucky enough to not be short or objectively unattractive, but even if I max everything I’ve got any control over I’m a seven at best (and that’s if I’m making them laugh and/or/being as engaging as I can). Glad I’m not actively dating right now. Not to repeat a point that’s been made a million times, but as much as women are supposedly held to unrea…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/19 04:24 AM
0

Lifting to be strong produces relatively small but well defined muscles. This makes you look good in a shirt, which is the only way most women will see you. It also gives you an understated confidence because you know you look good but you’re not projecting your image across the room. Just like with cologne, if people are aware of it from very far away, you’re probably doing it wrong. EDIT: I should add that these results are dependent on lifting to be strong but within the strength requirements…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/19 04:06 AM
1

I'm pretty much in line with you, although I haven't really defined my "dealbreakers" beyond the obvious. Unfortunately, in every single LTR I've had (four), there was one guy who set off my radar. My SO could be friends with a dozen guys, some of them ex's or ex hookups. They could message, hang out one on one, share inside jokes ... None of it bothered me, but there'd be one guy that I'd get a vibe about. A feeling in my gut. The way they looked at each other. Her voice when she talked to him.…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/19 09:11 PM
3

That’s a shame, and I believe it. Unfortunately there are men who are interested and want to take the time but they are married to women who just don’t see passion or lust as part of a marriage. Or at least there’s one, haha. Porn didn’t raise my standards. The women I was with before and after my ex wife did. But porn (the right kind) can reflect healthy good sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/19 01:41 AM
1

I’m always surprised that people in these threads think porn is all the classic misogynist male-dominance stereotype. What OP describes is passion and obvious female enjoyment.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/19 01:02 AM
3

This intuitive response is no doubt rooted in truth but is not mutually exclusive of OPs point. There ARE women who like sex (and can be downright freaky) but do not respond to what you describe. Their libido is seemingly not connected to the “nesting” affection they have for a long term partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/19 12:58 AM
3

Absolutely, and the parallels to politics are obvious and valid. You can add in that the blue pill seems preoccupied with identifying and denouncing anyone who thinks differently as Red Pill Evil, at least in my limited experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/19 01:00 PM
1

Well let's be clear ... a "need" even as I've defined it (something that most adults require at least some amount of to function in the modern world) is pretty much on the opposite end of the spectrum from "addiction". When you're talking about these things, the rule of thumb for when it crosses over to addiction is, "Are you unable to stop despite negative consequences?" (and no, disagreeing with your spouse doesn't necessarily count) The morbidly obese who binge eat to deal with strong emotion…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/19 06:31 PM
1

Oh, Jesus, you're definitely trolling, but it's my lunch hour, so ... Your definition of a NEED is disingenuously narrow. No, no one will die from lack of sex (or bathing, human contact, etc.) and libido varies from person to person and changes at different points, just like metabolism. If YOU think you are fine without it, great! But in a committed relationship, you have to respect the other persons "needs" and find compromise. Most people who are genuinely attracted to each other and have an o…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/19 04:53 PM
1

Ugh. Why on earth do you keep bringing kids into it?! There are plenty of things adults “need” that kids don’t. I’m starting to think you’re just trolling. In fact I hope you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/19 01:57 PM
1

Right, okay. Listen, /r/deadbedrooms has almost as many women as men complaining about their low libido spouses who don’t care about the pain and humiliation they’re causing. If you think children is a valid excuse to try to force your husband to live without intimacy, it’s you that’s doubling down on cake. YOU are the selfish one. EDIT: Especially if you’re one of the many women who uses sex to hook a good man then thinks nothing of “cutting him off” as if it was a favor you were doing him. And…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/19 11:25 PM
2

Ahhhh, well in that case you are making a choice based on your values and beliefs. I was assuming you were talking about the context of a committed relationship. Abstinence before marriage is an admirable choice to make, but the longer you remain unmarried, the more you're stretching the idea from its original intent. Once you are IN a Christian marriage, sex is every bit as important as it is to most healthy adults who have any kind of committed relationship. EDIT: Likewise, most religions have…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/19 07:48 PM
1

"The guys I know dont call sex a need. Keep in mind, they do have sex." Well, uh ... yeah. The only people that ever have to refer to sex as a "need" are the ones who are Involuntarily Celibate. If it happens within a committed relationship, that IS a major problem. As I said elsewhere, you might not describe bathing or human companionship as a "need" but going without them is a very strange, abnormal choice to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/19 05:04 PM
-1

Are you really making that argument? You know how humans reproduce, right? You know that the drive to do the thing that makes us reproduce was reinforced and refined over millennia, right? War (killing people) is literally the opposite of sex. Just because social media, your job or other modern factors might satisfy the parts of you that your ancestors satisfied with sex, doesn't mean everyone else has to get a hobby.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/19 04:48 PM
2

A healthy sex drive is exactly that ... healthy. If you have none, and you think you're okay simply doing without, that's your choice. Just stop trying to convince yourself that the rest of the world (including perhaps someone close to you) is under some delusion. No. Sorry. YOU are the abnormal one. If you find you need companionship but really don't want to examine your lack of sex drive, my suggestion would be to start looking for a companion who feels the same. If you're trying to force some…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/19 04:38 PM
2

So using the criteria you and OP have set out, let's see what else qualifies as an addiction: Bathing Grooming Friendship/Companionship literally any material possession or anything that most people do and enjoy. Here's the main point. My guess is that someone in your life, and OPs, has stated that THEIR needs weren't being met in this arena. You can disagree, but don't kid yourself that it's any less ridiculous than claiming that you don't NEED to bathe, wash your clothes, or talk to anyone abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/19 04:33 PM
1

No, but you will die, and you are only here expressing your opinion because every single one of your ancestors did something that you're now not seeing as a necessity. Okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/19 04:07 PM
1

"Typically, people dont over-indulge in needs." Out of everyone I know, even the in-shape people could lose a few pounds and have been known to go to town on food they really like. Most people eat WAY more than they need to, and almost everyone has had a bout of depression and slept more than they needed to. Sleeping and eating are necessary for survival, yet are very widely over-indulged in.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/19 04:00 PM
2

When I was unfortunate enough to have to make the decision, but grateful that the option was available ... they would not do it BEFORE six weeks, and I could see how many women wouldn't even know until that time period. I can see the reasoning behind it because while I am pro-choice, I do recognize that it's the ending of a human life and a heartbeat seems like a logical metric but in the end it is prohibitive enough to be called anti-abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/19 07:56 PM
6

I especially like your analogy about being sick of chocolate but going out of your way for something specific. I spent years having my self esteem crushed by my wife who seemed indifferent to me sexually even though I knew she was very sexual and I checked all the boxes for desirability (not boasting just trying to be concise) I eventually realized she DID have a libido but simply took me for granted. I was too available, so she felt no urge. I fell in love with someone else and had great mutual…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/19 08:06 PM
5

First off, any time you assume intent you're on shaky ground. I think the "men" you're talking about might have a more nuanced reasoning for their resentment, and it probably comes down to something involving "the power imbalance that now storms the dating scenes." I'm not up on all the red/blue/purple talking points, but I will say that I think a lot of the red pill stuff was an (over)reaction to the feminist movement which largely ignored the ENORMOUS power imbalance that was already there in …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/19 08:03 PM
1

Borderline Personality Disorder. Undiagnosed, mind you, but I went back through our three year history of texts and documented multiple examples of all but one of the 9 DSM criteria and at least nine other common traits. I was sad to realize that the over-the-top sex (and love and romance) were all common to the disorder and she didn't REALLY think I was the best/hottest she ever had, but it was fun while it was happening and the painful truth helped me get over her. ​ What's DT?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/19 09:16 PM
3

My recent ex was the only one I met who wanted it as much or more than me, but she also had a personality disorder. Proving that when God shuts down one stereotype, he reinforces another.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/19 08:45 PM
2

Everybody is broken in some way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/19 01:21 PM
2

I'd intuitively chalk the trend up to the theory that people are about as loyal as their options, and women in general are at least more aware of their options even if all else was equal. On top of that, when it comes to infidelity, men are more likely to physically cheat and stay with their partner, while women are more likely to emotionally cheat and then "swing to the other branch." Going by what the author describes, I am a "walk away husband". She really wasn't into having a relationship. W…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/19 03:04 PM
2

Well, even playing along in the space between your point and OPs ... If I'd known about BPD when we were still together, I might've been able to say, "I think you have Borderline Personality Disorder. Here's an 18-point list of traits and I've got countless examples of you displaying 17 of them. Let's please get you some help." Instead, I was only able to say, "Here's a list of all the things you do consistently that start and escalate 99% of our frequent vicious fights. You've got issues. Pleas…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/19 11:01 PM
3

It's actually considered unprofessional to diagnose anyone with anything based only on interviews or public communication. On the flipside, someone who had a prolonged intimate relationship with someone is uniquely qualified to relate their actual words, thoughts and actions in regard to whether those match up to a particular disorder. The subject themselves have a warped perception of reality and tend to be grossly dishonest on top of the skewed perception. The other people around them may neve…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/19 09:52 PM
2

Believe me, if it were possible to get her to even entertain the idea that the reality she experiences is NOT accurate and that with help she could sustain a healthy relationship and not spend so much time feeling lost and out of control, I would fucking pay for it myself even if she never came back to me. Because whatever she really felt, I did love her like I've never loved anyone, and still do. To go through the hell of falling in love with her, and realize after three and a half intense year…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/19 09:42 PM
3

Kindly fuck off. Spend three years trying to get the “love of your life” to stop a VERY SPECIFIC set of toxic behaviors only to have her refuse to take her issues seriously because in her twisted version of reality, her feelings are reality and she’s the victim. So you give up, only to find out about BPD and realize the bad parts were an EXACT match to the VERY SPECIFIC behaviors and thought patterns common to the disorder. In the process you learn that the good parts, the parts that made you th…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/19 06:22 PM
1

Well, like I said, men are entirely capable of meeting those standards, but the likelihood of them being available to you is minimal, if only because you can’t seem to find any, right?.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/19 04:55 PM
1

Oh, for sure, and a lot of 30-40-somethings of both genders are still running the same program, except now the women who don't have much to offer beyond a good time are going after the "good men" who they might've overlooked before. Sadly, a lot of those men are taking them up on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/19 02:31 PM
1

Couple thoughts as someone who mostly fits your description of a "good man" ... 1) Many of us got married young and did our best to make it work, because that's the kind of men we are. 2) Before we were married, a lot of the "good women" didn't notice us for various reasons. Let's just say "surface value" was much more important to them at the time, and they had no idea that the guy they were passing up now was the man they would want in a few years. 3) Many of us are back on the market, or were…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/19 01:34 PM
1

My ex (and I swear this is the last thing I'll say about her today) is hot, cute, charming and fairly superficial when it comes to attractiveness of men. She was the first woman I heard express that Danny DeVito was sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/19 01:05 PM
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