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toad-wrangler Archive

View 4 posts and 1,010 comments by toad-wrangler on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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19

What kind of provider is incapable of communicating properly about bills and accidentally gets a car reposessed? From what I understand, according to rp, this man is low value- why would she stay with him according to rp? Being irresponsible about money is not stuggling. Irresposibility is personal failure. Wanting a responsible and competent spouse is wise. Sounds like she thought through things with their marriage more than he did with their finances.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 02:25 PM
3

Aren't all preferences, sexual or not, shaped by past experiences? Like, we all as people develop our preferences through how we feel about what we experience. And whether or not our preferences align with our situations or relationships largely determines compatibility. This is just how people of all genders work.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:35 PM
1

What you're describing are personality traits, not gendered traits. Complaining as nothing directly to do with eq.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:21 AM
1

Anecdotally, no. I do (unless I'm exhausted or sick), and I've known 2 other women who were like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 01:08 PM
9

I've known no men that sit around trying to figure out what women like. I've met a ton of people. Most people are way too busy and only care about what the people they know like. I feel like I would've come across men like this irl if it were common.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:33 PM
6

You can try if you want to.That's not what I'm doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:31 PM
16

I think it's odd when someone is overly fixated on deducing what the gender(s) they are attracted to like. I don't know how they have the time and energy left over to do that, unless they are neglecting some other area of their lives. I've only ever been interested in individuals I know. Life has been far too busy to wonder much about people I've never met.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:55 AM
19

No. I only think about individual people I know like this, never people I don't personally know. I spend most of my brain power on real life, like my responsibilities and my future, not vague hypothetical stuff like what men in general like.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:41 AM
3

There's another comment under mine that's a perfect example of someone with the weird, non-scientific definition of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:40 PM
1

If I had the same exact personality, then yeah I think I'd be doing better than the men I criticize. I have no idea if I'd be happier. My entire life would've been pretty different- a lot of the major, worldview changing experiences I've had were because I was a girl/woman and wouldn't have happened at all or the same way otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:12 AM
21

There is a real pair-bonding in terms of psychology and neuroscience, but the term used on PPD doesn't resemble the real pair-bonding that exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:08 AM
1

You can be a blunt and direct communicator without ever expressing your feelings. Blunt and direct is a communication style and has nothing to do with content. Expressing feelings is content of communication, not a style of communication. You can also express feelings poorly, which would mean in a way that is hard for people to understand, or in a way that is disrespectful toward others.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 01:46 AM
–

A lot of what makes a personality is malleable and will change over time reguardless of whether you intentionally develop your personality or not. Might as well be intentional about developing your personality in a way that you like and benefits you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 02:31 PM
7

From my perspective, doing your best to treat people with respect is makes a person good. Most people who have a moral compass try to do that. I figure it's at least half of people. I think the problem with that is that different people have different moral codes and standards of respect. Which is why, in relationships, it's important to discuss expectations and boundaries and make sure to be on the same page.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:58 PM
4

It's your post. Reguardless of what you copied, your words are your intention. Different people consider different things good. Is it what I consider good, or generally the various moral compasses that different people consider good?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:42 PM
9

Are the principles and inner moral compass a specific type or do any count? Most people I meet only have their shit together enough to function.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:09 PM
–

Giving someone an std knowingly is already considered a criminal assault. Are you aware of that?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:06 PM
–

Here, since you missed what I asked entirely: Do you not understand the difference between harming or threatening someone's body amd harming or threatening someone's feelings? Are you aware that 1) people can sign prenups with infidelity clauses and 2) sue for emotional damages?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:02 PM
11

How would any one person know numbers like this? There are billions of people in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 12:59 PM
–

Not what I asked you at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 12:56 PM
–

Do you not understand the difference between harming or threatening someone's body amd harming or threatening someone's feelings? Are you aware that 1) people can sign prenups with infidelity clauses and 2) sue for emotional damages?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 12:27 PM
–

What does that have to do with what she said or your post? Most people just share their opinions, they aren't speaking for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 09:00 PM
–

Unless they say "I'm speaking for all women" or "all women want...", they are just sharing their own opinions.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 08:58 PM
–

If you have a discussion about each other's boundaries and come to agreements in a relationships, then you know where the line is between caring and controling in that relationship. Everyone is a different person.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 08:56 PM
–

I don't think that's what OP or what the other commenter is meaning. There's nothing inauthentic about putting your best foot forward, trying your best, or using your best characteristics. It would only be inauthentic if those characteristics were a deception and not actual characteristics that you had.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 07:12 PM
2

I feel like I'd be relatively the same unless I'd had a different upbringing and a different personality and sexuality. I knew a lot of people, dated people in my social circles that I was attracted to, broke things off as soon as I knew it wasn't a good fit, took breaks from dating when I needed them and just worked/went to school and spent time with friends, and married relatively young. Rejection didn't bother me. I stopped wanting to be with someone as soon as I knew they didn't want to be w…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 06:42 PM
3

I'm only dishonest with others when I'm in danger, which is rare. Public personas aren't inherently dishonest- they are the results of having self control/discipline, self awareness, and the ability to listen and prioritize. It's nothing more than nuanced rule following. People can obviously choose to be deceptive if they want to. Personal attacks are bad faith arguing- generally because the arugument being made it weak or constructes entirely of personal feelings and thus incompatible with rati…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 04:30 PM
2

You conconceed the debate whenever you'd like. But I'm not going to. I don't think we disagree- I think you are using a false or altered definition of the word "authentic".
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:42 PM
3

Maybe, maybe not. How're you defining authentic? I'd have to use an inauthentic definition for it to make your agrument sound. Unless there's something important you're leaving out.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:38 PM
–

Most women are average and with average men. If women only chose the extremes, only about 20% of them tops would be married or in a relationship. The majority of women are in a marriage or relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:04 PM
3

No it is not inherently inauthentic. It looks like you are conflating authentic with unflitered. If I stub my toe alone, I'm probably going to swear a bunch. If I stub my toe in front of a child, I'm going to exercise authentic self control out of an authentic desire to not expose the child to innappropriate language. Our true, authentic selves are not limited to our knee jerk reactions.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:43 PM
3

Therapy has helped me a lot with growing past things like that. A lot of it is developing an attiitude of respect for yourself and others and addressing false beliefs you have about yourself and others. If you are already an over thinker, it might be worth it to utilize that natural analytic trait and turn it towards something productive. Over thinking can become insightful introspective analysis when developed intentionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:20 PM
3

We aren't even capable of being all aspects of ourselves at once. A non-decpetive/authentic persona is a specific representation of the self driven by self control and intention rather than random whim. Random whim isn't more authentic, it's just a lack of self control/discipline and intentionality. You can choose to say what you want in the way that is the most effective and useful- that's not deceptive. E.G. I want to get along with people withiut dling whatever that want me to do, so I need t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:16 PM
11

Public personas are authentic behavior and predate capitalism. People can develop deceptive personas if they choose, just like people can choose to lie. But just because some people choose to lie doesn't mean that all speaking is lying. Likewise, just because some people develop deceptive personas doesn't mean all public personas are deceptive. Most are specific representations, not misrepresentations.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:07 PM
4

My guess would be that you are capable of much more than you realise (because people chronically underestimate themselves), and that working on those things would actually nurture your confidence and self esteem. We are funny creatures, we mostly learn by doing things over and over until we figure out what works.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:04 PM
5

I think the problem is that you think a persona is pretending. It doesn't have to be at all. I'm a quiet, assertive, deadpan, curious tall woman. That's not an ideal persona set up for getting along with others in the southern U.S. where I live. Most of my persona development has revolved around being myself without intimidating people. It's been challenging developing personas that work well, but very possible and endlessly useful. None of my public personas are misrepresentations, they are spe…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 01:59 PM
5

Here, I'll give you an example of the difference. I'm generally a pretty quiet person naturally. I'm not shy, I just am less talkative than average. In some social settings, being talkative is important. When I was much younger, I felt forced into talking. That wasn't actually happening though, I just hadn't figured out what I wanted and what my internal and external boundaries needed to be. I figured out that I wanted to be able to build rapport with others, but without depleting my energy or a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 01:48 PM
3

If your public persona is not an accurate representation of your character, what you want from social situations, and who you want to be socially, then you've constructed a deceptive public persona that isn't a true representation of who you are. You don't have to support people or agree with people if you don't want to- you can set boundaries. Boundary setting is part of having a public persona. You can be assertive instead of passive- that's also part of public persona. It sounds like you are …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 01:39 PM
5

I don't have a non public persona. I have different public personas and the way I act when I'm alone when there are no social expectations. All of them are authentic and differ based on social expectations that I want to meet. They developed over time since I was a kid until now, so they are all natural modes of behavior for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 01:34 PM
8

...Yes of course. It's not dissociation. I and everyone else still feels. Why would people stop feeling because they choose to behave a certain way?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 01:17 PM
10

Most people utilize a public persona most of the time, like I just said. Most people only drop the persona for people that they have developed rapport with and trust. This is normal, common knowledge human behavior. We all do it, we all know we are doing it. This is authentic human behavior. It's natural and not a secret by any means.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 12:52 PM
30

Most people are utilizing a public persona most of the time they are not alone. That's how people are. It's not limited to dating. You're just describing normal, basic human behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 12:46 PM
6

Maybe they are out and about because they are busy and not out and about to make eye contact with men who are offended by strangers not making eye contact with them. Stangers have no obligation to interact with each other while going about their buisness unless it's required for a transaction. There's nothing wrong with not interacting otherwise. Why are you trying to make eye contact with so many stangers? Aren't you busy?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 12:44 PM
8

I don't find lusting after average men impossible. Just not all of them. I've only shown lust once I'm actually interested in the person. A lot of people suck to be around- all they do is complain. I try to avoid attention from shitty people who have horribly pessemistic and/or disrespectful attitudes, and I have to get to know them first before I can figure out what they are like. Why would anyone be obsessed with average men they don't know? That's psycho. Most people don't notice most people …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 12:26 PM
2

That's crazy. Do you want people who cheat to be executed? If someone asked me that I'd never speak to them again. I've been accused of cheating when I haven't by insecure, angry people. I'm not risking getting murdered or assaulted.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 12:05 PM
2

Women aren't the ones preventing sex work from being legalized. Just fyi.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 01:45 AM
13

It's a simple emotionally based assertion. "I don't care about people's problems unless they care that I'm not having sex." It's just another version of an "it's not fair" tantrum, but in the format of "I don't have to care about the society I participate in and benefit from becuase no one will have sex with me."
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:34 PM
0

You are conflating individual personal preference of lifestyle issues with issues that women as a whole group face. Every society is a bit different. In the U.S., we have prioritized societal reform concerning group issues. If the majority of a group experiences the issue, the issue gets attention. If a small percentage of a group faces an issue, the issue get bumped to the bottom of the list of things than need to be addressed. Most men are not chronically sexless, thus sexlessness is not a "me…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:31 PM
1

I don't care what a guy's hobbies are unless they are actively harmful in some way. Like, if you're in massive amounts of debt because of your hobbies, or you don't have any friends because you only spend time on your hobbies, then that would be a turn off. Some people find collecting toys, or things that resemble toys is childish and a turn off. Some don't care. And people with the same hobbies will find it a plus.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:22 PM
1

Being lonely and not having sex are not the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:15 PM
2

That's a relief. I was surprised when you talked about referring him to the main line instead of reporting him.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 01:18 PM
2

Does your church tolerate people sexually harassing people like that?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 01:00 PM
3

From what I've seen, the comments and posts called weird have not be conducive to a debate or discussion and are so far off from reality that they are quite literally weird. It's not a personal attack to call something strange strange, just like it's not a personal attack to call a weak argument a weak argument. In a debate setting, responding to a sound argument by calling it weird is weak. Also, in a debate setting making outlandish and unrealistic points is weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:36 AM
4

A lot of the stuff that gets said here is not much more than uncanny, emotionally charged, hyperspecific and personal hot takes. In terms of a debate, that's weird behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 01:45 AM
6

username checks out
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 01:37 AM
3

Bots and people who fall for ragebait.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 11:45 PM
4

It's fairly common for men to act like they want to be a platonic friend only to ask for sex, as I was saying in my previous comment. That's a normal experience for women. Why would you stop being friends with someone because they've wondered if you're attracted to them? Are you pretty young? This is really normal and benign people stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 10:29 PM
8

There's a lot of odd, hyperspecific questions for women today.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 09:20 PM
1

I've never come across a single career driven woman that wants someone else to fun her life. Where are they? What the point of working so hard to make money if your goal is to be provided for? I've meet a ton of women who want to be provided for, but they generally want to be stay at homw wives/moms or only work part time.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 09:19 PM
4

All that meant was that she appreciated that you had enjoyed her company without asking for sex yet. Many men ask for sex not long after "becoming friends" with a woman, and it's nice when that's not the immediate focus. Makes us feel like we are seen more as whole people. Why would it make you uncomfortable that she appreciate you not asking for sex from her? I'd get it if you were dating her, but that was just her appreciating you being her friend without alterior motives.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 09:15 PM
4

Most women are just normal, average people. The majority of people just live and work most of the time. Most average relationships are simple most of the time- just people living life together. Most people feel sad when they are broken up with. Sadness, grief, and nostalgia are non-gendered, human experiences and incredibly common among women and men alike. The view you are expressing here is myopic and hyperspecific- you are not describing average people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 09:09 PM
1

I don't mind if a man/woman is a bit shorter than me, but I don't like towering over people, man or woman. That's more of a problem with women than men because I'm taller than the average woman and shorter than the average man where I live (5'6"). Financially independent, as in not living off of family for money. Idc if they have roommates or even live with family. If a man/woman needs/expects people to compensate for problems that their insecurities cause, they do not have enough confidence and…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:12 PM
1

I don't have a conscious height requirement for either, but I seem to prefer people who are close to my height/not significantly taller or shorter than me. I don't particularly like towering over or being towered over. Yes, yes, and yes. No, but one of my major standards is excellent hygiene and that applies to both. Hygiene is probably my highest/strictest standard for physical related standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 10:41 AM
2

I've asked the people I've been interested in if they felt the same if they didn't ask me first, so if someone did, but lied and said no, then I wouldn't have known and just respected their "no" instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 07:43 PM
–

Every romantic/sexual interaction/relationship I've had has started with friendly, non-sexual conversation. I've always chatted with the people I'm around, and get to know the people who reciprocate conversation. With some of those people there was reciprocal interest in dating, and so we dated. Very chill honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 07:42 PM
3

I've never bothered trying to figure out if someone is interested in me unless I'm interested in them. I've never cared whether or not people have secret crushes on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 07:34 PM
–

People who communicate effectively and listen and pay attention to their partner without getting insecure or defensive are going to be better at sex reguardless of experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:59 PM
–

The only way to know is to wait and see what they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:57 PM
6

Are the same women who have strict standards for men the same women who have casual standards for women? Maybe some people have strict standards and others don't. My standards for men and women are equal in my eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:55 PM
5

Unless the love of my life doesn't have a job or commitments outside of the home, I would be alone the majority of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 07:46 PM
20

I need friends. I love being at home alone, but I would wither away into depression without friendship. I'd rather have friends and my dream career than spend most of my time isolated from society and alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:18 AM
2

Attention only bothers me if it's dangerous attention or reminds me of a time when I recieved dangerous attention. I feel threatened reguardless of the gender of the person, though a womam being threatening has been exceptionally rare for me compared to men being threatening. I'm sure different people find different behaviors threatening depending on their personal experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:12 AM
3

Are the same women who are calling men insecure for not wanting their gf to watch porn the same women who don't want to date men who watch porn?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:36 PM
3

Safe haven laws apply to fathers as well. In my state, once row vs. wade was overturned, we have to hope we don't have miscarriages so that we don't have to risk getting sepsis and possibly dying before the fetus passes. Unless they changed it, if you went out of state to get medical help related to an abortion procedure in anyway, including misscarrying but with a decetable fetal hearbeat, anyone could sue you for it. As a married woman who wants children, but from a family prone to misscarriag…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 10:17 PM
2

Our society is a patriarchial society (talking about the U.S.). It was founded as a partiarchial society, and women's rights are still being disagreed upon in our culture (e.g. there are still people who believe women should not have the right to vote- I've never come across a single person saying men shouldn't have the right to vote.) Women are also doing, and have done, a shit ton of work to remedy those things. Complaining about a problem while you fix it is not victim mentality. Victim menta…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 10:02 PM
–

Most women don't hate all men. Very few people truly hate another individual, much less half of the world population. The majority of women who marry do not file for divorce. Women are, on average, more prosocial and more conversational. Women are more likely to be emotionally open and aware of their emotions. Women are more likely to listen to others talk about fheir feelings. No one gets away with doing yucky behaviors- those make people disliked in general. Have you considered that you might …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 09:52 PM
2

I would not, for any reason, subject myself to any form of slavery willingly, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:17 PM
1

Are the women who say they want emotional vulnerability and honest the same women who lose attraction for a man who is emotionally vulnerable and honest? Different women want different things in a partner. Emotional vulnerability and honesty is not that same as emotional immaturity and dysregulation. If you can't be emotionally vulnerable and honest without throwing a tantrum or melting down, you are emotionally immature. Emotional immaturity is unattractive to emotionally mature adults. If you …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:14 PM
2

You only watching female comedians that are raunchy doesn't mean that all female comedians are raunchy. The speaks only to the media that *you* prefer to consume.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:04 PM
4

Well, since most of women's hobbies definitely do not revolve around sex, misperceiving them that way is probably a significant contributing factor to why men get labeled creeps. Try not sexualizing women's hobbies and see if that lessens how frequently you get perceived as a creep.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:00 PM
1

What do you mean? Very little media directed at women is inherently sexual in nature- other than smut, you would have to be intentionally sexualizing media on your own from your own perspective for it to be sexual media in anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 04:56 PM
–

More workers is generally something that boosts an economy, while a decrease in workers degrades an economy. So no. Also, the economy in the U.S. was doing really well after women entered the workforce. Women also entered the workforce en masse prior to woman sufferage and the beginnings of feminism. This was during WW2. There was a little dip afterward, and then a resurgence in the 70s. The U.S. economy started degrading drastically in the 2007 Great Recession and has struggled since. Prior to …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 01:06 AM
1

Cool, thanks. The point I made is that it would be weird to go to a specific country for the sole purpose of finding of gf or wife. Going somewhere else, be it a new city, new state, traveling abroad etc and meeting someone isn't weird. The first is going wife hunting- you're going to a specific place you think you'll be the most successful at bagging a woman. That's a weird vibe- very transactional. That's fine if it's what both people want, but it's a recipe for a predominately, if not only, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:36 PM
1

source?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:42 PM
–

Birth rates directly correlate with economic health throughout various cultures and societies, reguardless of the factors related to the economic health. That's the crux of it. Many, many things can support or degrade economic health.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:16 PM
–

Current decline in birthrates is predominately driven by the struggling economies in conjunction with how our societies work. It's generally very expensive to have and raise children in the western world and our economies aren't terribly conducive to that rn. People are more likely to intentionally have children when they personally see it as beneficial and safe for them to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 09:47 PM
2

If a guy went to a specifc country for the purpose of finding a girlfriend wife from that specific country, I would think that was a little strange. Like why that specific country? If a man happens to find a girlfriend or wife from a different country, okay cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 08:47 PM
–

Do you have any non-anecdotal evidence of that, or are you asserting that most anecdotes would differ from my own and those of everyone I've known? If some anecdotes (like mine and those of the people that I've known) don't matter, then why would others' anecdotes matter? Also, there is a difference between pursuing someone and chasing someone. In a dating relationship, both people are pursuing the other by participating in and developing the relationship. Chasing is when one person is pursuing …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 08:10 PM
11

I haven't met a woman like that who wasn't psycho in other ways as well, so I'm going with women who act like that are bonkers.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 02:00 AM
16

I personally have not known women who want to be "chased". The women I've known (myself included) want reciprocal interest. Like both people plan dates, both people put effort into dating, both people initiate and build solid communication etc. "Chasing" women is for men who want to sleep with women and aren't interested in putting effort into dating relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:13 AM
3

Yes. It's easy as long as you have internal boundaries, live intentionally, and aren't at the mercy of however your feelings happen to shift at any given time. Speaking as a bisexual that wouldn't be able to have friends if people couldn't have platonic relationships with the gender(s) they are attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 11:08 PM
–

What is it that you think women couldn't survive if there were no men in the world?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 09:28 PM
–

You're leaving out the "to survive" part. Women don't need men anymore to survive. It wasn't terribly long ago that women had to marry or rely heavily on their fathers (or another male relative) in order to survive because of the laws and societal structures. It's not that they weren't capable of taking care of themselves, it's that the laws (made by men) prohibited them from doing so without a husband or another male relative.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:44 PM
1

My parents got married at 21 and 20, and are still married, but don't like each other much at all and haven't for a long time. This is my dad's only ltr and my mom's second. I got married at 22 and he was 27. We've been together 8 years, married for 7. He was my first ltr, and I was his 3rd. Things have been really difficult for health reasons, but we still like each other a lot. My experience was/has been pretty similar to my dad's, which isn't terribly surprising because I'm basically the fema…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 05:22 PM
5

Yes if I didn't know their true character. When I describe people it sounds something like "They have a great personality with (instert personality traits here), and they seem like a good person as well because they were (insert character traits here)." I don't personally know anyone that would assume someone has good character just because they had a likeable personality, so I don't worry about the people I talk to making that false assumption. We've all learned better than that long ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 02:14 PM
5

So when you hear someone described as “having a good personality” you would sincerely feel it necessary to ask for specification of whether or not they are of good character instead of presuming that based on the description of their personality? Yes, I've learned to do this, and I hope other's do as well for their owm sakes. Personality does not determine character.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 02:00 PM
2

That's very myopic of you. Many abusers are not abusive in general to all, but only in secret towards a few people. It is often the case that an abuser is well liked by most, and their true nature is only known by a few, like their partner and/or children.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 01:57 PM
7

Are you talking about bad character? Personalities aren't inherently bad or good. Personality has very little to do with whether or not someone is abusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 02:59 AM
16

People can have anything from a very likeable to very unlikeable personality and be abusive towards someone. Abusiveness isn't a personality trait. Men that abuse women don't automatically have exceptional personalities. I don't even know what an exceptional personality is.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 02:20 AM
7

Is this the same woman saying "don't objectify me" and posting a pic of herself in a tiny outfit? Is this a real example? Can't you just look at the post and move on? Or even like the post and move on? Do you need to leave an objectifying comment? This situation solves itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 12:07 AM
0

I'm so sorry 💔
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 03:10 AM
0

Noodle man, nooo! 😭 What happened??
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 02:11 AM
1

My dumb brain read that as "crayon" 3x 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 05:50 PM
0

Quite cruel.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 05:49 PM
–

You're the only one that brought it up and then got defensive when called out. None of us have said anything about our partners being pedophiles, and frankly, it's incredibly insulting to accuse us of turning a blind eye to something like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 04:18 PM
–

Idk why you feel the need to defend pedophillia and hebephilla, but I'm not interested in your defense.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 04:09 PM
–

12 years old is prepubescent for many girls, which is pedophillia. 12 years old is not highschool.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 04:01 PM
6

I've shared different things with different *people depending on whether or not they are respectful when talking with me and others about my and others preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 04:00 PM
–

Your one example is pedophillia.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 03:56 PM
3

Not too bad tbh <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 03:38 PM
2

What I hide or express depends mostly on the judgement/criticism or lack thereof of my partner. If I think they'll be critical or mean about something, I just keep it to myself. Anything I think they will be neutral/positive about, I share.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 03:27 PM
1

I didn't say it wasn't
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 02:14 AM
1

Yeah, but you have more time before kids and LTR/marriage... might as well spend that time doing things you love.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 02:02 AM
-1

I have some additions: Find things you love to do and do them more. Develop awareness of your personality and learn how to develop the things you like about it. Learn about the world around you and explore it. Try new things for the sake of having diverse experiences. Keep meeting new people and getting to know them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 01:54 AM
1

I call these "moody moods". Just a lil cranky, but not enough to do anything about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 01:35 AM
3

I'm just now realizing the only two people I've known who actively watched Friends have been men. Wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 01:30 AM
4

Bro, no way you're nick picking someone over near identical synonyms when you antagonized me for differentiating between the words "using" and "objectifying" the other day 😂.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:09 AM
3

expound: to give a detailed explanation of something https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/expound
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 11:56 PM
3

It do be like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 11:50 PM
1

Empathy is a spectrum. It also doesn't inherently make you kind, compassionate, or respectful. I have pretty strong empathy, but struggle with sympathy sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 04:51 PM
41

It's not controlling to leave. Repeatedly threatening to leave over things you have previously been okay with, with no intention of following through, is an intimidation tactic and is manipulative. But setting a boundary with your spouse and following through if they cross it is not controling or manipulative.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 03:15 AM
–

I think you have a specific definition of "girls trip". My "girls trips" are like camping and hiking and stuff like that. Different people do different stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 12:58 AM
–

I think most people want to really live over just living longer. I don't think it would change much.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 12:56 AM
9

I'm married. I think married/LTR couples should create their own boundaries between themselves and each individual should respect those boundaries. Whatever both people agree to is fine for them. I don't think it's a moral issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 12:48 AM
–

Yeah I agree- I use the fat from ground beef for tallow. But I think people who just throw away the fat see it different idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 06:44 PM
–

It might be cheaper per lb of meat (once fat is strained off) but idk, at my store is cheaper sometimes and not others.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 06:22 PM
–

I think your talking about a republic and calling it a democracy... maybe? The gaurantee of human rights for all citizens is one of the main qualities of a true democracy. There are other forms of govenment that resemble a democracy in some ways, but do not guarantee human rights, like republics. Is that what you're talking about? Like democracy adjacent forms of government?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 05:30 PM
–

...The concept of democracy is founded on the concept of human rights. Like, the belief in human rights is what produced the concept of democracy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 05:22 PM
–

I think all human rights have to be guaranteed to all citizens to have a true democracy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 05:16 PM
–

Totalitarian laws are compatible with democracy? How?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 05:13 PM
–

Would you like to live under the form of government that would require anyone needing government assistance to first be sterilized?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 05:08 PM
–

Yeah, first time I just gotta get over the excitment lol. By the 3rd listen through, I'm paying a lot of attention to the lyrics.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 07:01 PM
–

Start to finish, generally multiple times.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 06:51 PM
–

That makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 05:49 PM
7

Yes! Books and libraries for the win!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 05:01 PM
6

Yeah, many aren't though. I wasn't- didn't learn about it until highschool, unfortunately. Lots of kids get very bad educations and many have to self-educate if they want to know stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:50 PM
15

I'm really hoping he's just a kid and hasn't learned this stuff yet, because this is sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:37 PM
–

I've been blocked 3 times for that very reason lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:28 PM
6

Treating someone as a human is treating someone with dignity and respect. Do you realize that?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:25 PM
10

So reality wise most guys could never just treat women like human unless they have had a lot of women in their life I.e dated a lot of women in their life. If this is true, then women are not being more valued as people. Possible objects to be used, which is not a luxury.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:21 PM
25

You're denying objective scientific facts to support your perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:19 PM
6

Many women feel the same and don't want to be with men that don't treat them like equals in humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:04 PM
–

Yeah, that's fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:01 PM
10

Are you interested in being with someone who thinks they are justified in seeing you and treating you as less than human?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:00 PM
–

I guess, but you can just ignore them instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 03:51 PM
13

So reality wise most guys could never just treat women like human unless they have had a lot of women in their life I.e dated a lot of women in their life. How is he going to supposedly treat you like a human when you don't live the life he does? If this doesn't provide an answer about why so many men go unchosen, I don't know what will.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 03:49 PM
–

I'm kinda surprised anyone on this sub blocks people. Why participate in a debate sub just to block people who disagree with you? Weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 03:35 PM
–

The men I've heard say they don't want a woman with baggage already have a ton of baggage themselves and the bitterness and anger oozes out of them. I just hope they don't become some poor, baggageless woman's baggage.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 03:21 PM
9

Omg sorry, I didn't realize you weren't familiar with this stuff at all. If you want to know, read up on stats about domestic abuse and dv. I figured you were coming from a place of knowledge considering how strong your opinions are, my b.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:19 AM
9

Bro people can become addicts years into a relationship. There would be no way to know at the beginning in these cases. No, but are we going to pretend like this is the majority of cases? It's incredibly commonly the case. Are you not aware of this? I figured you would be since you have such strong opinions.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:14 AM
7

You don't think it's important to figure out who is responsible for a crime, which all physical abuse is btw? Or are you excluding physical abuse from your thought process?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:11 AM
6

Do you not know that many abusers don't start out as abusers? That people often become abusers after developing an addiction or going through a trauma or tragedy? Something like that can happen years into a realtionship. Do you believe you can see the future when you meet someone and know what they will and won't do throughout their lives?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:09 AM
21

And the people who choose partner that treats them and everyone else with respect, and then later down the line starts changing and becoming abusive? Like people who become addicts after being in a relationship for years and, in addiction, become abusive. Are we supposed to be able to see the future when we meet people? Your concept of abusers is caricature esque.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:03 AM
12

I don't really need to know much else about your perspective if you're the kind of person that blames the abused instead of the abusers.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:00 AM
12

Reading people and reading their minds to detect their secret thoughts that they are hiding and not expressing are not the same. Also, what you're implying denies the existence of people who genuinely start out as good people, go though things that hurt them, and then become abusers instead of healing, which is fairly common for people who become abusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 12:59 AM
21

Blaming victims of abuse instead of abusers... with that perspective I'm not surprised by the rest.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 12:48 AM
28

Some men also get abused in relationships- are you blaming them for that? Some women also fail in dating due to social skills- are you going to say that's the same issue as a woman that gets abused by her partner? It's not the same issue. Abuse is abuse. Social skills are social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 12:31 AM
45

Right, because everyone is consistent in their actions from the very beginning of realtionships, and abusers (men and women alike) never behave differently at the beginnings of relationships and then start to showcase their abusive behaviors when they feel like the person won't or can't leave them. People having social skill issues are not having the same "skill issues" as someone who can't predict which people will become abusive before the abusers reveal themselves. One can't read a room while…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 12:25 AM
–

Oooh gotcha
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 11:50 PM
–

So why do you get ranty if not angry/frustrated?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 11:49 PM
–

I think I'd have to be angry to write a comment like that unprovoked, idk 🤷‍♀️ my b
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 11:45 PM
–

It was just so fast after the exchange that I wondered. But I too have random angry shower thoughts, so I get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 11:43 PM
–

Did me caring/talking about using the proper definitions of words really make you this mad, or did something else happen?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 11:37 PM
–

I wasn't even trying to offer a rebuttal. I was just pointing out that is sounds like OP thinks objectifying women and using women is the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 11:01 PM
–

I didn't say it was... I'm confused why you're even asking that rn.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 10:58 PM
–

You can objectify women without using them. The example he gave was using a woman. Acknowledging those things isn't a strawman. It isn't even a counterargument. I also didn't say he was objectifying women, just that he might be conflating objectifying women with using them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 10:53 PM
–

If acknowledging that different words have different definitions is playing word games, then sure I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 10:48 PM
–

I think you might be conflating "objectifying" and "using" here.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 10:33 PM
–

General self care for this stuff: heat for soreness, ice for swelling, topicals like icy hot to help distract from sharp pain while nsaids kick in. If you want a topical to help with soreness- magnesium products will actually help a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 10:28 PM
–

I thinked I'd be okay with being a failure in the eyes of someone who thought that way lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 10:24 PM
–

and they are all dead for over 1,000 years. that's not a realistic goal for most people. Idk why but I read this part first and I'm still laughing lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 10:17 PM
11

Probably just trying to get women to describe porn tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 10:06 PM
–

I was just talking about connotation and emphasis. I wasn't arguing for or against either phrase, just answering OP's question at the end of his post.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:58 PM
26

Probably whatever the most searched for categories are.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:54 PM
–

It's hair-spider season in his house lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:42 PM
–

Devistating 😭, it's the best season.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:36 PM
–

I just got mine out for the summer 💃
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:30 PM
–

I was provided with an unholy amount of animal crackers in sunday school as a child lol. Reminds me vaguely of the witch fattening up Hansel and Gretel.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:28 PM
–

I remember being a kid and trying to figure out why we were "following" religious leaders that didn't bathe properly or take care of their bodies. Thought it was pretty weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:55 PM
–

I haven't known many atheists, but your description fits copious amounts of christians I've known throughout my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:48 PM
3

This is something that has confused me greatly. It's like some werid catch 22. Like do they want someome who is into sex or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:11 PM
–

I honestly don't know what you mean by "completely take over the mind". That's not what happens with mental illness. It can take over your life if not properly treated, but it doesn't "take over your mind". Medication is highly effacacious as treatment for thr majority of people who actually seek out treatment, especially when combined with cbt. Sometimes trauma and core beliefs are the issue. Sometimes underlying medical issues are the issue. Sometimes both. It varies person to person. Then you…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 07:24 PM
–

Medical issues aside, it's a desire issue. They may want to lose weight, but less than something else that counter intuitive to losing weight. So people are also much more likely to form addictions or addiction behaviors than others. Self-discipline comes easier to those who are less sensetive to addiction and related issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 07:18 PM
–

The long-term conditions you are describing are things like schizophrenia and bipolar 1. Few people have those, and develop them by the time they are 25-30. They can also generally be completely managed by medication. Most people who struggle have typical depression/anxiety to varying severities and haven't found the right combo of treatment yet. Those can be triggered at any point in life (pregnancy being a very common trigger) and last for long periods of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 07:09 PM
–

I thought I wasn't for a long time too, and it just turned out that I was truly exhausted and didn't realize how bad it was for a few different reasons. Just a thought. Chill/mellow personalities tend to lose that drive a little easier under stress/duress.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 06:58 PM
–

You can try, but people can go through life events that cause mental health struggles literally at any point in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 06:51 PM
–

I think of you actually want the reward for your hard work, then yes. It sucks when the reward for your hard work is not what you really wanted, but only similar to what you actually wanted. And people who think they are owed thr things they want typically just get frustrated with hard work idk. Not everyone is achievement oriented.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 06:50 PM
–

The high bc thing has always confused me because, if she's never cheated, then that's better evidence of her ability to be loyal and keep her word than someone who just hasn't had sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 06:46 PM
5

Most men will never be able to attract a woman who they prefer for sex and relationships who will reciprocate the same level of visceral, carnal desire for them with the same preferred frequency and intensity of sex…especially if they’re looking for compatible partners in the non-sexual ways too. I think the nuance of this gets glossed over a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 05:52 PM
–

Learned helplessness and/or obsession with their mom/mother figures.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 05:16 PM
–

Girl 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:43 PM
–

Are the written exams for literal art classes? How would that even work?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:37 PM
16

I mean, I'm bisexual, but I have definitely lusted after the male physique plenty and known many women who do as well. Maybe you just haven't gotten to know women well enough to witness the lusting? Women tend to be more private about lust than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:56 PM
1

I'm bi- there's a major correlation between characteristics of the people I felt safe with growing up and the characteristics I now find attractive as an adult. There's also a major correlation between the characteristics of people I didn't feel safe with growing up and characteristics that are now distinctively unattractive or gross to me. My "types" have mostly prevented me from becoming/staying attatched to people with truly erratic, cruel, and neglectful behaviors. The people who hurt me the…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:50 PM
–

I can't really do anything about you feeling annoyed. You can stop talking to me if you want. I'm not going to agree with you because you're annoyed.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:33 AM
–

Again, I'm sorry that has been your experience and that you feel that way. I disagree, and I'm also not going to try to convince you otherwise
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:23 AM
–

I'm sorry that's been your experience I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 02:38 AM
–

Definitely. I was kinda honing in on the "when is it a need and how" aspect. Wants tend to be measured more by desire, needs more by the consequences of their absense.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 02:01 AM
–

What a strage problem to have, to run low on problematic content.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 01:28 AM
–

I think maybe the instinctual urge for sex itself is louder, but the social/familial bonds are the true need underneath it all (based on what I've read).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 01:25 AM
–

Sex is a relational need for most people that are not on the asexual spectrum. Some people need it more, some less, but it is generally considered necessary in LTRs. As in the relationship will suffer without it. People can survive without sex. They (statistically speaking) cannot survive social isolation, and most people genuinely need familial bonds or they will suffer greatly from depression. If they don't happen to be born into a family that provides those bonds, they genuinely need to find …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 01:13 AM
–

Mod be like
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 11:53 PM
–

Acknowledging drama is a dangerous game.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 11:44 PM
–

Oh no, noodle man, what did you do?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 11:42 PM
–

Yeah, unless she also has a mobility issue. She needs to sit for safety, but not in a specific seat.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 11:18 PM
–

You are most likely to miscarry by the 3rd month due to the zygote/embryo being unviable. External causes of miscarriage are a threat the whole time. But falling and landing on your stomach can cause major issues for the fetus once you hit that 5-6 month part onward. A woman in the last trimester of pregnancy would need the seat more for safety than a woman at the end of the first/beginning of the second trimester of pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 11:13 PM
1

If he's only leaving his house every other weekend, but he's actively going out and meeting people and asking people out, I'd say 5-7 first dates depending on follow up dates. Above average would be above that. If someone wants to date, but isn't going out and meeting people or asking people out, and they get no dates... Idk, if you really want something, you've gotta do something about it. A normal guy that wants to date and actively does something about it and gets 0 dates in a year- that's od…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 11:04 PM
–

Extra stealth points, nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 09:59 PM
–

Yes, but for me it's rural Montana or Colorado.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 09:54 PM
–

It has definitely made dealing with difficult people much easier. Wish I could kinda turn it off sometimes though because I tend to make sweet people a little nervous until they get to know me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 09:31 PM
–

Ah I made the mistake of not looking at your flair lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 09:23 PM
–

What reasons would I have as an adult woman to think about 1-3? I don't think about what people eat for breakfast. I've only thought about 5-7 in the context of a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 08:53 PM
–

People assume (without ever seeing me engage in conflict or even be mad) that I am secretly very defiant/fiery/mean when provoked (I'm not), so I rarely ever have to say more than "no" for people to just leave me alone. Which is nice because back when I was shy, people would try to push me around a lot or just be very inappropriate.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 08:39 PM
–

Most people don't end up truly hating who hurt them. People who get hurt really bad and then get really relationally isolated, or were already really relationally isolated, are much more likely to develop hatred. It's like a kid who never has anyone show them that booboos aren't super scary, so they just get more and more scared/phobic of getting hurt, but the adult version and with anger along with the fear. Idk if that helps.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:43 PM
2

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" holds up pretty well from what I've gathered from people over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:09 PM
–

Girl, I got so stuck for a minute trying to figure out why angry people would send treats 😂. I'm pretty sure the threats are almost always empty and it's just a means by which they can engage in verbal abuse without many or any personal consequences. When hurt people get bitter, they often become like whoever hurt them and treat people the way they were treated (and justify it to themselves this way). I don't get that angry or bitter either, but I also don't hate the people who have hurt me badl…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 03:56 PM
–

I wish you the best, dude! I hope they work really well for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 03:51 PM
–

I guess we have no other choice
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 03:31 PM
13

Do men care if the women they have casual sex with are good at sex? Women might care more because casual sex with a man who's not good at it kinda defeats the point of casual sex for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 03:06 PM
–

The only time I've come across defeminization like that would be situations that are basically bullying/humilation rituals. I don't think it's emasculating or defeminizing for someone of the same gender to get more compliments than you in a situation. Narcisism would be bothered by that, but not general/normal masculinity or femininity.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 02:47 PM
–

Me too :(
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 02:41 PM
1

I've read this 3 times. I'm gonna rephrase it- correct me if I'm wrong. Do you think the majority of women who seek a male partner have diverse enough preferences that the majoity of men who seek a female partner would fall into the category of women's ideal preferences and that the majority of women would fall into the majority of men's ideal preferences?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 06:19 AM
–

I tend to be overly hopeful about stuff in general, so that's probably fair. I've started to wonder if ideologies in general are destined for corruption, and then some of them "die" of it, and some of thoseget "resurrected" eventually. I haven't read enough to really be able to tell yet though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:26 AM
–

You prolly right, OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:02 AM
–

Your points make sense for the argument you are making. My question was in response to a comment that said "the majorty of feminists" which would be over half of all feminists instead of a major faction, so the context of what I was responding to is a bit different from what you are laying out here.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 03:57 AM
3

General observations/surveys are useful data, but can't replace or be scientific tests.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 02:58 AM
2

Oh geez, hopefully they hire more people for data science. It sounds like there's way too much for just you and your supervisor.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 02:57 AM
1

Sheesh. Is it a situation where you needed more time to get used to it, or do your coworkers feel similar?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 02:44 AM
2

I think that is going to depend on her personal preference, personality and time constraints. There isn't a right amount to measure by.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 02:41 AM
1

What kind of job is it?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 02:36 AM
11

My guess is that is it probably based on the market you are used to, but there isn't really anyway to know that without testing it, and there isn't really an ethical way to test it. Attraction isn't a choice, and not easy to predict without experience to draw upon.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 02:36 AM
–

I think you'd actually need to prove that the law of small numbers wasn't compromising the assertion that these groups were a large enough sample size to accurately represent feminists in general as a group for the argument that these online spaces are an accurate representation of feminists in general to be a valid argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 02:09 AM
1

Yeah, I have to get used to them again periodically, but it's really important to make sure the shoes fit properly, or it's way more difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 10:04 PM
2

Neither sound particularly bad, but I think my weird personality would do okay with a platonic partnership, so b for me. Couldn't care less if people think I'm having sex or not tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 02:39 AM
–

I think my confusion is that you originally said "attracted to men" not "attracted to all men" in your top comment. They mean pretty different things. And I personally haven't come across that argument, so I'm not sure what they are thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 02:32 AM
–

I don't think anybody finds all men attractive. Saying "I'm attracted to men" doesn't mean you're attracted to every man, it just means that, when you are attracted to someone, that person is a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 02:27 AM
–

Are you bisexual? Or just experience sexual attraction rarely?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 02:23 AM
–

From what I've gathered from the people I've known, it's fairly rare for someone to only be attracted to one member of an entire gender. The only people I've met kind of like that were generally asexual and, on a rare occasion, would feel attraction to someone. A lot of people have a hard time believing things that are particularly rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 02:19 AM
–

My parents are bonkers, so I am biased, but I can't imagine paying 35k for a wedding instead of a down payment on a house and never living with my parents again instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 12:26 AM
–

Yes, but the women who compliment you might also be jealous of tour eyelashes lol
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 10:09 PM
–

Looks like mods took care of it
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 10:03 PM
1

You didn't even use that word in your first comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 08:27 PM
1

That doesn't answer my question. I think you responded to the wrong person.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 08:20 PM
9

It would probably be helpful in reducing the general feeling of hatred of people on both sides if people were more specifc in their wordings and avoided saying things in a way that referred to women and men in general if that's not what they mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:48 PM
17

Why are you lumping all women together into one group when there are lots of different takes and opinions among women on these topics?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:12 PM
–

🤷‍♀️ People learn new things about others and themselves all the time unless they choose not to.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:01 PM
17

What is the measure by which you're determining justification? Morality, eithics? Feelings are just feelings, in my opinion, and can't be morally or ethically justified.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:54 PM
–

If you get crushes on men and women, you are ✨️bisexual✨️
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:51 PM
–

It's removed, my guy
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:41 PM
–

Yeah, I just read through their rules, and I'm genuinely surprised they kept the post up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:39 PM
–

What you wrote is definitely geared towards debating and arguing, so unless that's something they want in their sub, it's not going to be appreciated there like it would be here. A lot of subs are distinctively not debate subs and they don't encourage that behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:31 PM
–

Yeah, I can see why a non debate sub wouldn't want a post like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:21 PM
–

I haven't noticed anything like that- I don't think so.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:17 PM
–

What was the comment you made before you got banned?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:15 PM
2

That's why it's imortant get yourself educated about things you want to understand. People say all sorts of stuff that is and isn't true, and you can't know who is offering true info to you unless you're educated on the topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:02 PM
4

Is the average layperson a feminist? The experts are the ones that collect and interpret that kind of data. Unless you're asking how they do it?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:50 PM
–

It would happen a lot more if women didn't take it into consideration and take precautions in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:40 PM
–

That is a normal risk that women have to consider when dating. If it shuts down your agrument, then your argument is denying reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:39 PM
2

Research data (and a class on statistics if he doesn't know how to read about them), classes, and feminism literature books and literature about ethics to start. If he wanted actual answers and not just confirmation bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:34 PM
10

What are your sources/stats saying that that is actually rare? Or is it just rare in your personal experience?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:22 PM
6

You think men are more of a problem than women, but just within feminism?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:14 PM
9

Are you talking about irl feminist spaces or just subreddits and similar online spaces where people can hide their identities?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:09 PM
15

Where is your souce/stats showing that most feminists hate/actively hinder equality of men?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:08 PM
5

Where did she indicate she did that?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:06 PM
12

Why do you believe a subreddit accurately represent the majority opinion of a major group of people?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:05 PM
–

Their goals are to make money, not help people.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:01 PM
4

Subreddits are full of random people I don't know. I didn't say the questions were inflamatory.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:29 PM
2

Why would I ask random strangers on a subreddit, who may or may not be internet trolls who just say inflamatory things to upset people, these questions when I can learn about these things through books and people who have actual credentials?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:23 PM
6

I have wondered how many happy single women had extremely stressful parents or guardians tbh. Being alone feels less lonely than feeling lonely surrounded by the people you want to connect with but can't.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:07 AM
7

Some women are happy single and some aren't. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:02 AM
2

Bugs Bunny about to show some ankle to his fans on a live stream:
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:20 AM
1

oh no fren
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:09 AM
1

Did you also learn that the hard way like me? 🥲
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:07 AM
2

Bugs bunny would totally sell feet pics at the very least.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:06 AM
2

Because this is how it makes them feel...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:05 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:50 AM
2

I have a dumb question: how do you report people for abusing the block function? To you just message the mods? Cuz once they block you, you can't report the comments. It's getting rediculous how people who disagree with me will block me instead of not responding or just debating. You'd think I was insulting or harrassing them or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:48 AM
6

Well, OP is rp, so no, that's very relevant to his agrument when it comes to defining terms.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:23 AM
6

Why to men approach women according to rp?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:05 AM
1

I'm not going into the field to look for a partner, that's silly. Friends would be nice though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:01 AM
11

But until she engages in cheating behavior, aka accepts an offer, she hasn't. Seeking out sex by approaching women is already engaging in cheating behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:01 AM
6

Why do men approach women according to rp?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:43 AM
8

Are you skipping or skimmimg the last section? I think you are trying to make a different point than OP. Approaching other women, aka trying to have sex with them is a decision to cheat. Wearing a hot outfit is not an automatic yes to anyone who approaches you trying to have sex with you. She'd have to accept an offer before the behaviors were equivalent.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:38 AM
5

Did you read OP's post?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:27 AM
13

The hot outfit doesn't determine whether or not the woman in question actually engages in sex with the men that approach her, so no.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:21 AM
8

The point is not whether or not it's an issue.The point is whether or not it's equivalent to a man actively trying to cheat by having sex with someone else, which it's not unless she also does the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:20 AM
1

Sexual preferences has to do the most with what you like to do in a sexual setting. What you find attractive is just a portion of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:18 AM
2

Wouldn't that be the hot guys being celebrated in that instance?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:03 AM
1

If you wear a mask, no one will know it's you 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:28 PM
2

That outfit will surely attract attention from the ladies
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:27 PM
1

I love them ✨️
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:23 PM
–

That doesn't answer the question I asked. If you can't see that, I can't help you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:22 PM
12

Because, in my experience, people don't think people they like are too much work.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:20 PM
2

I still have not found a place where it's widely celebrated.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:19 PM
5

Every. Goddamn. Day. 😂🫠
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:18 PM
–

No you didn't lol. I'm not going to entertain a response from you if you're just going to ignore what I ask and try to change the focus to whatever else you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:17 PM
9

Dang, sometimes I wish that were true lol. There have been time where it would have been really convenient if I were able to control the approaches I recieved with the clothes I wore and by avoiding certain locations.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:13 PM
1

You might have to practice the moves, but you could just do that of you wanted to 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:11 PM
–

Nothing you said addresses the question I asked in the comment you responded to.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:09 PM
15

How is it the same as the guy trying to cheat unless she actually accepts and entertains offers for sexual/romantic involvement?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:59 PM
30

Are you saying that a woman looking hot, but otherwise not seeking out or entertaining sexual encounters is the same as a man trying to find a woman to cheat with? Wth
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:51 PM
19

I just assume they haven't actually liked the women they've known and now have a general dislike of women as a whole instead of keeping their dislike to the women they've known already.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:23 PM
2

Nice!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:18 PM
2

What does that mean? Lol my dumbass would be like "Oh cool, a snake!" and never think about it again.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:13 PM
1

I think it kinda deprends on the season and location. Where I live, any cloth is just going to get glued to your skin if you're outside at all with how hot and humid it is. It's pretty miserable to wear a lot of clothing outside until it cools down.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:02 PM
2

Real 🥲 I also have long hair, so it just looks like trash in the hot seasons compared to the cold ones. I kinda just resigned myself to surviving hot months in terms of fashion and enjoying clothes/hair styles more in the cold months. I also love boots so I'm just sol with my fashion preferences in the summer. 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:56 PM
2

It can be, I guess. I prefer cold months/places because I just wanna wear pants and giant soft sweaters 24/7. Hot months can be challenging comfort wise.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:46 PM
1

lol turbo chads reminded me of this
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:37 PM
2

I wear crop tops in the summer because I feel less claustrophobic in the humid heat if I can feel air on my torso. You might not be wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:35 PM
1

I don't think that way, but people keep telling me it does, so I guess the way I dress means something to them. I don't really get why people care so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:33 PM
6

Well shit lol I'm headed in the paychologist/behavioral scientist direction, so hopefully I will have a similar experience as you in a different field lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:52 PM
1

What a niche problem to have lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:49 PM
1

Strange how you cast so much judgement on women when you are struggling to do things most women do daily, my guy. I feel like you're focusing on the wrong stuff in terms of what would be good for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:40 PM
1

Just because you deny the evidence exists doesn't mean it actually doesn't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:24 PM
2

?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:24 PM
2

And I'm talking about a portion of the population of women. If you respond to me talking about portions of population by talking about broad populations as wholes, then the conversation was basically over before it started becausr you changed the focus without saying anything about it. Idk what bars you go to, but straight sexuality has been perfectly welcome in the places where people go to meet other people that I have been, like bars. I have never gone to one where it was frowned upon or unwe…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:23 PM
6

What is your occupation and how to I become that? lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:18 PM
2

?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:17 PM
3

Cool. That doesn't contradict what I've said at all. Women who were raised to repress their sexuality and sexual urges generally still have sex. Like I said in my og comment, those who are raised that way respond in various ways to their up bringing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:08 PM
4

...And many women have been raised to repress their sexual uges towards men as well. Many have not. Different people are raised differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:58 PM
2

You're lumping all lgbtq+ people together into one group. Lgbtq+ people have all sorts of different up bringings, just like cis/straight men and women. The repression of sexuality for women is also not what it used to be in the 60s. Idk what that has to do with things now. Just because other people have exprienced sexual repression does not mean women don't. One person's experience doesn't erase the experience of another. I'm also not saying that other people have not experienced sexual repressi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:57 PM
16

Enter large portions of fundementalist/conservative christians. The hatred for women in those circles is astounding. And the men marry and have lots of babies still.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:45 PM
2

I know everyone has different experiences, but I've recieved just as much judgement from women as I have men. And I'm not even particularly kinky or anything, so I can't imagine the kind of judgement I'd run into if I was.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:49 PM
5

Different people are raised in different communities/subcultures by different people. Personality also affects how you respond to your upbringing. "Many" does not mean "all" or "most", it means a significant portion. There's a lot of variation. Why would there not be lgbtq+ people thriving simply because many women were raised to repress their sexuality and sexual urges?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:46 PM
7

Not all women have been raised the same way. Many women have been raised to repress their sexuality and sexual urges in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:35 PM
6

No kidding. I see men on here talk about how women's sexuality is widely encouraged and celebrated, and I always think to myself, "Where? Why have I never come across this if it's widely encouraged and celebrated?"
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:31 PM
11

The closest thing I've found to a safe space to talk openly and honestly about my attraction and sexual insterests is with like, one friend. Anywhere else and it gets twisted and used as ammunition against me somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:14 PM
6

Sure, that's why I said "many" instead of "all". There are also women who are lesbian or asexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:00 PM
4

The amount of unemployed men who talk about how women should be traditional is exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 04:58 PM
20

All women do not naturally have a low libido. That's not a fact at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 04:33 PM
–

People with weak or no agency are still at their own mercy. People don't control you relationally if you develop strong agency and will.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 04:32 PM
35

I'm sure there's more than one reason, but a reason is that many women are raised to repress their sexuality and urges to some degree or another. The various idolization of virginity and the madonna/whore complex have these natural consequences. Sexual freedom as an adult can only do so much to compensate for the mental training to repress sexuality. Not super profound, but a factor nonetheless.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 04:21 PM
2

Why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 03:52 PM
2

That's on par with- I don't see why a grown man shouldn't be financially contributing to his household.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 03:47 PM
3

Oh, you are equating chores for yourself to manual labor jobs. That's really disrespectful to the people who actually work manual labor jobs, my guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 03:43 PM
4

The dynamic of women cooking for working men falls apart if the men aren't working.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 03:41 PM
4

Do you have a manual labor job? Chores are not equivalent with a manual labor job. Everyone who isn't significantly disabled or significantly lazy does chores.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 03:27 PM
2

What does you not being bedridden have to do with you not having a grueling manual labor job?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 03:12 PM
3

I thought you didn't work and lived with your parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 02:52 PM
2

This only works in economies and SESs that support one income households. Otherwise, if both partners are working, household errands and tasks need to be divided time-spent wise so that one person isn't getting burnt out while the other rests. It'll ruin the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 02:45 PM
1

I actually thought he was gay. Guess I need to rewatch lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 03:41 AM
1

Enter hermeticism.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 02:57 AM
1

I always wonder if people who talk like them are asexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 02:55 AM
1

Sometimes pepto and some high fiber food helps me with pizza regrets. Sorry fren 🥲
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 12:03 PM
–

Bravo would be so proud lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 02:57 AM
–

that driver be like
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 02:55 AM
–

😭🤣 dyslexic english fml
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 02:16 AM
–

Did you say...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 02:02 AM
–

sorry buddy
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 01:27 AM
–

Having a healthy spiritual/religious practice can be super bennefitial, just like mindfulness and meditation. Oh no fren 💔🥲
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 12:58 AM
–

The safest way to express anger and bitterness is anonymously, I'm guessing. Worst thing that's gonna happen is they get banned- it is unlikely to follow them into their personal life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 12:51 AM
–

Yeah maybe. They main emotions I see men express are anger/frustration, happiness, disappointment, and contentment- all generally tearless. It would be weird if crying was the main way someone saw men expressing emotions, or only considered it expressing emotions if they cried while doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 12:50 AM
–

You probably would've appreciated the length of the film if you had read the book first. They did a really good job staying true to the book.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 11:20 PM
32

I think both sets of phrases suck personally, but I guess women who are okay with those phrases about men have the same or similar reasoning as men who are okay with those phrases about women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 10:22 PM
–

I know you said she's a sweet old lady, but I'm getting uncomfy vibes again. Maybe I've just lived in the bible belt too long idk
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 08:57 PM
–

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 08:54 PM
1

Homie, I think you might have been responding to the wrong person. I only talked about connotation and emphasis differences between the phrases. I can break it down in more detail for you if you want? Or quote it for you since it sounds like you never even read it before responding?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 02:35 AM
–

Friends? No. Internet version of aquaintences? Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 01:42 AM
3

Most feminists treat feminism like Christians treat Christianity Dang shots fired lol! Made me actually laugh out loud. Yeah, the moral superiority it a little exhausting. I have conflicting feelings becuase I am so happy that I have equal access to stuff I need, but I stuggle with the endless angry and morally superior rhetoric of any die hard ideological stance.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:27 PM
–

Have you read though each of that guy's posts and comments? It's increasing gotten worse and worse- today he commented that he was so obsessed (homie said he had OCD) with it that he wanted to kill himself, and went on an all caps, crazed diatribe about another commenter being insane because she has a different perspective than him. I think there's a particular issue going on with this case that makes it different from the usual reposting. I hope he's acting, because if he's serious, the dude ne…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:23 PM
–

I hate to break it to you, but you might not be unhinged and disrespectful enough to replace him. Disagreements aside, you've generally been pretty civil and resonable from what I've seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:17 PM
–

I just tried it and that worked pretty well. Might use that one more often...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:09 PM
–

nice, thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:57 PM
–

Mild sympathetic nervous system engagement is not an equal response with an impulse to kill. An impulse to kill would be extreme sympathetic nervous system engagement along with significant anger or fear or both. Idk, reddit doesn't stress me out. I'm definitely much more alert in a real debate, but it's fun, not fear/anger inducing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:39 PM
–

No dude, I can have a debate without wanting to hurt or kill someone. I don't need people to agree with me to not want to kill them. I like debating, it's fun. How old are you? Are you still in that 20-25 phase where the frontal lobe hasn't fully developed? If so, I have great news for you, my friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:29 PM
3

There are going to be man haters in all groups, my guy. Stay safe out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:48 PM
3

Yes, you can be a feminist and hate men, for a myriad of reasons- they are not two mutually exclusive things.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:46 PM
–

Maybe natural for someone with significant anger issues or mental health issues. When people disagree with me, I don't have an impulse to even harm them, much less kill them. I'm just chillin.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:45 PM
–

No way you're on here rudely demanding that people answer your question right after you rudely avoided mine in that post.😂 Omg dude you need to chill out.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:34 PM
–

I saw a comment from him earlier saying that it's natural for a person to kill someone for disagreeing with them, so hopefully he's just having a bad day and isn't actually a threat to anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:30 PM
–

Is there porn on netflix now 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:21 PM
5

Literally anyone, man or woman or gender queer of any ideological background or lack thereof, can do the behavior you are talking about at anytime and frequently do. Online, people can just straight up edit their comments. It's not at all specific to feminists. So I'm not surprised the feminists do it to, just like every other group.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:57 PM
3

No one would fall for that. Anyone can lie about anything at any time. The risk of successful deception is pitifully low in this instance.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:47 PM
–

He's not ugly at 37, but the inflamation in his face looks like the consequence of a lot of alcohol over a long period of time. Could be something else though. I don't think of someone as middle aged till, 40 personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:16 PM
2

So the moral imperative/obligation your calling upon is fairness? Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:04 PM
4

What obligation or moral imperative is going on that makes it to where they "ought to" or "should" respond in a serious way. According to what or who?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:54 PM
12

The yes was so obvious, leaving it out didn't change how they looked at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:36 PM
17

What you're quoting seems like yes answers to your question, but with the commenters leaving out the "Yes, because..." at the beginning of their comments because they thought the "Yes, because..." would be so obvious it didn't need to be said. My responses to men's statements mostly match what they said. I assume when they don't that I've misunderstood or misread what they said. As far as why do I sometimes misunderstand men, misreading, or them writing or saying things in a vague, confusing way…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:25 PM
–

Yeah, actually. I reported it to the mods and reddit, but I haven't seen any interaction or changes from either.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:18 PM
–

He said he wanted to kill himself over how obsessed he was over the topic in a comment in response to me today. This is escalating rapidly in a terrible direction.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:10 PM
–

If you look at OP's response to my comment, it'll help you see why this situation is different.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:15 PM
–

Then go to a hospital where people can help you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:09 PM
–

Dang I guess lol. Maybe she's just kinda lonely and wanted to tell a story.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:23 PM
–

No, I was picturing a young, pregnant woman for some reason lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:17 PM
–

Oh okay, that's not so bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:15 PM
–

lil creepy 😬
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:13 PM
–

That makes sense. I imagine you'd mostly run into women like that and I'd run into men like that on here, given the environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:09 PM
–

Mods, he's back again today asking us about how we masturbate for the literal 10th time. He barely responds to comments and doesn't read the research we share. This is obviously spam posting at the least and also probably fetish posting. Please do something.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:06 PM
–

When I call them on it they just never respond. I kinda assume they are just responding to my comment out of a desire to express vitriol for women, because that is usually what their response devolves to by the end of the comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:03 PM
–

Fair enough. They need to make me meaner lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:59 PM
–

Their pov is misrepresenting what I say completely, like disingenous, bad faith debating. They could easily just say what they think and that would be fine. To be clear I understand what they say. It's the blatant lying behavior that confuses me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:58 PM
–

Idk, I'm pretty blunt, blatant and detailed.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:53 PM
–

If they lie about what I'm saying, that's pretty different than them just telling me a different perspective or disagreeing with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:52 PM
–

Wow, it happened right here under my comment. Crazy. But seriously, this is a great example of what has been happening in the debate posts lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:35 PM
–

Insisting someone has said the opposite of what they actually said is pretty disingenuous itself, idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:34 PM
–

Yeah, most people are so chill lol. At least for people who like arguing. It's so confusing because they could just disagree, they don't have to try to alter what I say.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:26 PM
–

Does anyone know why so many guys on PPD will insist I said the opposite of what I said in a comment I make on a debate post? Like, are they just dumb, or are they actually trying to gaslight me while my comment is right there for me to reread? It's funny, but also concerning.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:08 PM
–

Wow, you grossly misunderstood what I said. Being attracted to people the same age as you is not pathetic or grotesque. It is, however, pathetic and grotesque to twist someone's words like that to fit your narrative.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:33 PM
6

Idk that might be a subculture thing. I've known many women in their 30s at this point who don't want kids and would like a partner but not marriage. I've known religious women who acted the way you are describing though. Marriage lust is cracking me up lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:16 AM
5

The detail I remember the most was a woman saying that she thought wrinkles were horrid when she was young, and found them sexy by the time she was 40. From what I've gathered, most people find people they perceive their age attractive (not all obvs), so their tastes change slowly over time. Also, the older women seem to distiguish greatly how they are treated by their partner in a serious conversation or situation vs. and unserious one. And they seemed to value men being able to shift appropria…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:10 AM
1

Anything with decent pay and a low suicide rate tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:10 AM
2

I come back here when I'm sick or when my life slows waaaay down temporarily. I normally don't use social media, but I like how bonkers it is here sometimes. It's entertaining. But I disappear inbetween for long periods of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:08 AM
6

Makes sense. I've had some friends quite a bit older that have talked about how what they are attracted to has changed a lot over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:10 AM
3

Yeah, it's really odd to me reading perspectives on here sometimes. My life has generally been pretty social (sometimes more than I'd prefer, sometimes less) and my ideas just come from what I've seen happen in the lives of the people I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:04 AM
11

See, many of the people I've known have developed higher standards as they've gotten older if anything. This is what I was thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:59 AM
7

I already wanted a family before I started dating at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:56 AM
2

What a beautiful modern short love story <3
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:55 AM
3

That's what I'm thinking. I see attractive people in their 30s and up every day I go out in public lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:48 AM
–

Real
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:49 AM
3

I look forward to seeing more of your piggy backs in the future lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:49 AM
2

That's super weird about the preset flairs.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:43 AM
3

I want to know what you want your flair to be so bad now.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:38 AM
8

I guess for some people. I've been working towards the same stuff the whole time. It's changed a bit as I've progressed, but that's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:05 AM
8

Okay lol I don't know what that means
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:00 AM
11

But women as a group don't marry or settle down with someone. That's a one person thing. Unless it's like a group marriage I guess. If someone over the age of 30 finds you attractive and wants to marry you, that has nothing to do with other people who didn't want to date you earlier.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:46 PM
43

Okay OP, this is slightly off topic. I just turned 29 and I'm married. I got married at 22- it was my first LTR. If my husband left me today, and a year from now I was ready to get back out there, now at age 30, why would I suddenly not date someone I'm not attracted to? Why would I not marry someone I was attracted to just because I'd turned 30?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:44 PM
12

What if the woman didn't know him when he was younger? How would she have dated him then?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:35 PM
6

How many women on here are over the age of 30 and in an ltr or married?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:21 PM
–

I like study ones, but it's super hot where I live idk
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:45 PM
1

Yay! Bless you, kind mod, whoever you were.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:05 PM
3

They've removed inoffensive comments from the gross posts in question and left the post itself untouched. I genuinely don't understand how they decided what is and isn't appropriate, because they only sporadically enforce the rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:55 PM
3

God for real. I've seen people's comments get removed on those posts, but the mods didn't touch the post itself smh.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:48 PM
6

You can't name them, that's considered witch-hunting
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:47 PM
–

Yeah, no kidding. Or like, look up some research online and read it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:41 PM
–

Your OCD makes you ask these questions over and over and you don't even want to read answers to your questions? The research that has been done is going to provide you with the answers that you have been asking for. If you actually wanted answers, you'd be excited to read this and other research for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:33 PM
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Hey mods, this is like the 9th post from this guy that's exactly like this. If he actually wanted to know this info, he'd go read some of the plethora of scientific reseach that's been done on female sexuality or something instead of asking us the same questions about masturbation over and over.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:12 PM
2

I've done 9 min mil in the past for distance running, but I have short legs- my stride is not ideal for spead and endurance together.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:42 AM
1

I'd forgive and leave tbh. But I've known him so long now- idk how I'd be with someone I'd know for less time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:19 AM
–

Honestly, paying for a tank of gas for someone would not be the worst romantic gresture right now 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:35 PM
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I have, rarely, but I don't and haven't owed anyone that. I can choose to do it without owing it to anyone. Just like if a person makes a donation to something, they don't suddenly owe everyone who wanta a donation.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 09:49 PM
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For loved ones? Of course not. People I don't know, yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 09:33 PM
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I do not owe strangers emotion support. I won't antagonize them, but that's it. There are billions of people in the world- I don't owe them a listening ear because they exist. That's what a therapist is for.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 09:14 PM
4

We don't know why they do that. That's not a common behavioral pattern among the majority of women. You're gonna have to ask people who do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 08:55 PM
–

Hey mods, is fetish posting allowed on this sub? OP has made I think 8 posts in a row now about how straight women masturbate to lesbian porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 05:12 PM
3

If you want to take me saying I wouldn't be vulnerable on a debate subreddit out of self preservation and complicate it this much, have fun. Like what did I say that you are arguing with? My personal preference?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 03:49 PM
1

Anything except men... so women? What, so some woman are showing empathy towards one another- people who have had the same or similar experiences as them? Cool. Makes sense. Doesn't change that you could not get me to be vulnerable on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:59 PM
1

Sure, you can make that arguement, why not. Doesn't change or contradict what I said lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:55 PM
2

Sure. Except people online are notoriously brutal. Me going online and venting, PPD for that matter, to vent to men about men is not going to go well for me. I know that, so I don't do it. I'll share my feelings with people I believe will show empathy, but not with those who probably won't, because I don't want to be ridiculed.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:50 PM
3

Homie, you are arguing with yourself. All I talked about was connotation and emphasis.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 04:14 AM
–

Because they are single and sad, therfore all singles must be sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 03:07 AM
–

Maybe we are meant to find the industrial ragebait within otherselves ✨️
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 03:06 AM
3

Show me where I said that fren
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 03:05 AM
–

No girl dinner is safe from the looming threat of the ragebait industrial complex
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:55 AM
2

Show me where I brought up any of the things you listed. I was talking about connotation and emphasis.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:23 AM
2

Most men? Strangers online are not a community. If you get to know people online and become friends with them, sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:22 AM
–

Well, that makes sense. Seems obvious now.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 12:49 AM
2

I don't bare my heart to people I don't know online because I would expect ridicule. What about believing you're hopelessly unattractive would make you seek out ridicule, other than maybe masochism?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 12:47 AM
2

"Why don't women show empathy to men when men vent to women about women?" me: proceeds to read through a massive amount of comments in which men insult and antagonize women for not validating their negative opinions of women in general and their hateful feelings towards women Idk OP, it's a mystery.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 09:02 PM
5

but this is an online DEBATE subreddit, right? You could not pay me to seek empathy or sympathy on a debate subreddit of any kind. That sounds like a recipe for disaster.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:42 PM
1

Yeah... Idk if it's against the rules. There's no witch-hunting, no personal attacks, and no countless rhetoric. I guess it would depend on the context and how you worded it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:30 PM
2

There's quite a few purple pill flaired people that are actually black pill people. Idk why. Purple is kinda like "I don't fully agree with the rest of these pills, but they all make some decent points" most of the time. The pills explanation is somewhere in the about section of the subreddit if you want to check it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:26 PM
–

✨️Sick song✨️, my friend
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:02 PM
–

Tbh I got into astrology for fun while taking an astronomy class, because to my silly brain, astrology is to astronomy as is bingo is to the word of the day.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:00 PM
3

But I let her vent and stuff but occasionally im like, yeah, it is your fault and this is how you fix it (without saying its her fault) Ah yes, the forbidden words lol. I get it in theory, but is it difficult to remember in the moment. I probably, in part, just need to sleep more so that my concentration and mental foritude is better and I'm able to think on my feet more in convos or listenjng to rants/vents.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 07:52 PM
–

Not during my Saturn return 🥲
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 07:48 PM
6

In general, I'm surprised that anyone would want to be emotionally vulnerable with strangers on the internet. People say stuff here you could not pay me to say to a stranger online. I'm not talking about relatiomships of any kind. I'm talking about randos online. People online are notoriously savage to people they don't know.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 07:28 PM
4

Good grief no kidding... thinking of people as npcs is gonna cause a lot of social issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 07:21 PM
17

This is what I see too. I haven't seen posts like OP is talking about. All I've seen is some version or another of a man blaming women in general for their lonliness, whether it's women having too high standards, sleeping with people they want to sleep with, not dating people they don't want to date, being happy being single, being a single parent, being over weight etc. etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 05:56 PM
0

I think we are running in different groups of people, because I have not come across male victim erasure irl. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but there are groups in which this is not the case. My "groups" are mostly academic these days though so idk. Prostitutes don't pose the same threat as a violent criminal, so I'm not sure why you would need to worry about it the same way. It's not bigoted to be cautious of people until you build rapport with them. It's bigoted to treat people meanly or p…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 05:36 PM
–

She is very pretty, agreed
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 05:22 PM
7

Yeah, it has definitely been helpful for me to have conversations about this with men along the way. My closest friend (woman) is this way too, so we try to figure it out together lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:11 PM
3

This is great advice, thank you!!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:07 PM
2

Do you have any tips on an individual level?? My brain runs away from me with unnecessary problems to solve like a toddler with a stolen bag of cookies. 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:02 PM
–

I think the implication was that he was not lonely, and instead, very happy and literally covered in kisses.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:00 PM
21

I have a "fix it" brain. If I listen to people whine too much, my brain gets flooded with unnecessary, useless problem solving. It's a dangerous game lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:44 PM
0

I mean, men should be more wary of other men more than women, because, statistically speaking, men are astronomically more likely to be violently assulted by another man than a women. It's just statistics. For some reason, most violent offenders are men. A tiny portion of the gen pop commits violent crimes, but around 80-90 percent of those people are men. Most men won't hurt anybody, but there's no way to know which will and won't as an individual. So it's wise to be vigilant and generally caut…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:39 PM
8

I'm kinda surprised men would come on here and vent to women about women and expect a positive response. I'm also not one to comment on those posts. I typically dip as soon as I realize it's a another venting post.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:29 PM
44

Tbh I don't want to listen to men or women whine.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:12 PM
7

They would have to start as hypothetical before being implemented, obviously. A solution has to first be imagined and articulated before it can be carried out. There are many. They have been researched, studied, and written about extensively. The topic you are referring to is massively broad. If you can't narrow your scope, it's not possible to discuss in a comment section of a reddit post. You'd be better off reading some reseach if you want answers to a question so vague and broad scoped.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:38 PM
–

I think it's mostly just a silly joke video. On the other hand, some people do not have an outward facing personality and it can be very boring to trying to have a conversation with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:57 PM
9

Tell you what, if you make me a list of issues, I'll offer my hypothetical solutions. But there are many issues you might or might not be refering to, so I need you to be less vauge/more specific.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:44 PM
12

The objective is to communicate a thought or opinion. Very simple- not complex. "Not all men, but ALWAYS a man" is emphasizing that whatever is currently being refered to in the context of the conversation is dominately a male behavior instead of a female behavior or a non-sex specific behavior. Nuanced connotation of behaviors related to sexes. "Not all men" means not all men do whatever is being refered to in the context of the conversation. Simple, straightforward, no nuance. Different connot…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:17 PM
15

Nope. Connotation and emphasis alter the meaning of things. This might be the reason you don't understand why the nuance is present sometimes and not others.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:09 PM
4

Bless you, I had lost count and was curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:08 PM
3

Anyone know what number of same topic posts this guy is on? I forgot to keep count. I wanna see how long this repetative topic posting goes on for.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:07 PM
17

Never heard or seen a man say "not all men, but ALWAYS a man". I've only heard them say "not all men". The two phrases have different connotations and emphases. The former has a more specific connotation and emphasis, thr latter had a more broad connotation and emphasis.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:01 PM
2

My sleepy brain read it wrong: husband gone car: middle of the driveway but then... body: middle of the driveway I was very concerned for 90 sec. Goodnight 🙃 lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:42 AM
2

I would legit never find out if he did tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 07:56 PM
2

I'm debating between Thinking, Fast and Slow and Alias Grace. Maybe just a bit of both.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 07:48 PM
5

I feel sad and my tummy hurts 💃✨️ But I'm watching a thunderstorm build outside through my window and it looks pretty sick. I think imma take advantage of the moodiness, make some tea, light a candle, and read 💁‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 07:32 PM
1

The dumbest part about being nervous is thag I love stats! My brain is just being a big ol' baby about the 4 weeks part for like, no reason 🥲🫠
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 05:16 AM
2

I'm about to take a 4 week Statistics for Psychology course and I'm nervous. I've already taken Statistics for Mathematics and passed, so I'm being silly. But I still feel nervous about doing a stats course in 4 weeks 😖. My brain is annoying ugh.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 05:06 AM
4

Do they say how many people responded? I didn't see it anywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 03:38 AM
8

There is no statistical risk of an adult woman being aborted by her mother. This post is about women and men viewing one another favorably or unfavorably. An aspect that could contribute to women viewing men unfavorably is the violence men commit against women, statistically speaking, and in personal experience. For adult women, there is a statistical threat of being assulted by a man. There is no statistical threat of them being aborted by their mothers. What you are trying to contribute to the…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 03:29 AM
8

No, my logic presumes that women are capable of realizing that they cannot be aborted, which is a rational conclusion to come to. Were an adult woman living in fear of being aborted by her mother, she would be considered delusional, not rational.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 03:14 AM
10

I take it you're talking about abortion, but avoiding using the word for some reason. Given your logic, women should fear their own mothers substantially more than they do men. No woman has to worry about her mother aborting her. The leading cause of death for women is not their mothers. Abortion is not applicable to the coversation about women having a favorable or unfavorable view of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 02:58 AM
3

Hey OP, what's the source for that info?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 01:57 AM
7

The leading cause of death for women in the U.S. is heart disease.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 01:30 AM
3

I'm so confused.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 07:45 PM
1

Apparently that's not an option for them, idk why
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 07:38 PM
1

She was basically billing him for his food that she paid for with her credit card, because she does the grocery shopping for both. She has her own credit card.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 07:30 PM
1

I'm not grocery shopping for someone just to have to do the acconting for it for free later so that we can keep finances separate. I think I'd rather just be the breadwinner myself tbh if I had to pick between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 07:29 PM
3

Don't most people learn what risks are by experiencing them directly or vicariously? Wouldn't we expect that most people would learn the risks at some point and then their behavior would change? Isn't part of dating dynamics people learning what the risks are and changing in response in some way or another?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 06:56 PM
3

Hypothetically, if everyone who agreed with a post upvoted it, and everyone who disagreed with the post downvoted it, and there were similar amounts of agreers and diaaggreers, the number of upvotes on the post would stay closer to 0. And since this is a debate sub, agreers and disagreers are frequently commenting on the same posts.🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 06:51 PM
1

Yeah. It's normally more about science or personal experiences irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 06:37 PM
8

This. I was looking for someone I could trust and bond with, not compete with. I like arguing for fun, like on this sub, but not for real. I wasn't looking to be a prize. I was looking for a partner, because life is hard and lonely and I wanted to be on a team instead of alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 06:09 PM
1

If he is capable of all of them, he should do what appeals to him the most. Different people prefer different life styles.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 04:00 PM
2

Do you have any experience seeing feminists/progressives/academic gender studies folks/​lgbtq+ people reacting to statements like this? Yes. I've never met someone irl that thinks people don't have specific experiences related to sex, gender, and genitalia. Or them talking about this in their own spaces? ​ I'm not quite sure what this means irl. I have talked with people in spaces that were largely public. What do you see? I see people have different opinions of the need for rigidity in things l…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 03:56 PM
2

Maybe 🤷‍♀️ it seems kinda rough on the people involved though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 04:21 AM
3

I'm not just talking about normies. Like I think it's super rare for people to sit and think about hypothetical strangers masturbating and getting upset about what they imagine is happening. I've only come across that kind of behavior in people who are in weird, religious cults.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 04:19 AM
5

Getting upset about the masturbation habits of people you don't even know is not a normal experience in general. Most people have more important things to worry about- I imagine it's relatively rare that someone would waste their time on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 04:12 AM
2

This was all for a hypothetical.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 03:20 AM
4

I mean, this was a hypothetical. But yeah actually, that's what I personally ended up doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 03:01 AM
–

It must suck to be attracted to women who look like they resist tradition just to find out they resist tradition.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 11:00 PM
4

What an odd principle 🥲
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 04:24 PM
10

I can't imagine feeling oppressed by the masturbation habits of people I don't even know.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 03:52 PM
15

It's kinda strange how bothered you are by this.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 01:15 PM
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People who don't take care of themselves are not physically attractive to me. This is in reference to health and hygiene. It's not about perfection, but self-discipline and intentionality. People who take care of themselves, but are relatively unkempt most of the time are also generally unattractive to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 07:37 AM
7

There's a lot a variety in feminism. Some feminists reject 3rd wave on. Some are true radicals. All sorts of stuff going on there.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 06:11 AM
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Is it transmissable human to human now??
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 05:56 AM
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My b. Women there are not choosing to not have sex before marriage, my guy. The consequences of a woman having sex before marriage can be pretty extreme there, and enforced predominately by men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 05:38 AM
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Afganistan is under religious rule. It's not the women freely choosing not to have sex until marriage. Your hypothetical is women choosing not to have sex until they are married. The entire context is different.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 05:34 AM
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And furthermore do you honestly think I could escape such a role of being a scapegoat when I am as aware and curious and wanting to seek truth as I am? If you know you know. If you don't understand that there are people like this in the world then the question is not for you. I think there are multiple ways, but it's something I'm still trying to figure out. I think one way to shift out of the role of a scapegoat is to shift into the role of a witness. It's hard for me to describe. I think anoth…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 05:31 AM
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Bro, I expect my friends to tell me they love me once in a while 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 04:49 AM
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OP didn't say the reason for no sex before marriage was religion.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 04:41 AM
10

What you are describing here sounds closer to a mood or personality disorder than an emotional personality. People with mood and personality disorders typically struggle with relationships in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 04:12 AM
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So yeah, lots more marriage and divorce, and probably a lot more homosexual activity from men who were even a little bisexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 03:51 AM
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I mean, their behavior would have to change if they didn't have access to casual sex at all. I assume that, if no woman would have sex with a man until marriage, that there would be a lot more marriage and divorce. This would take woman sex workers and cheaters off the table too right? If no woman would have sex with someone until that person married them, then there would be no prostitutes or cheaters that were women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 03:47 AM
11

I don't think the 4B movement supports a matriarchy or patriarchy. 4B is about women radically decentering men for the sake of their personal health and well-being, from their perspective. It's not about children either, just not bearing them for men. It would only be cognitive dissonance if the same individual was promoting the 4B movement and a matriarchal system that prioritized children. Otherwise, it's just different individuals with different ideas.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 03:25 AM
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I think the stress of the risk of pregnancy made me pickier indirectly. Like I had to really, really like the guy to be willing to confront the fear. I wouldn't date guys unless I was really interested in part because the fear of getting pregnant being dissuading from sex in general. I also enjoyed being single more than usual I think. I don't think this is an all, or maybe not even a most women thing though.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 03:13 AM
3

This my personal experience. I'm not speaking for anyone else. Attraction is there or not from the beginning. It takes me a while to develop feelings. The feelings develop at the rate I build and emotional bond- they are directly linked for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 02:26 AM
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This is a debate sub, homie. This is a subreddit for arguing about this stuff. There are other places where people discuss instead of debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 10:05 PM
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Bud, if you don't want to pick up on negative energy, ppd is not a great place to go.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:58 PM
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This is a debate sub. This is not a very warm, friendly place in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:54 PM
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Didn't you just make a post asking women a question? Maybe stop doing that if you don't like how they respond?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:44 PM
13

That would have to be a condition for me to press the button. If that was not part of it, I would not press the button. 👍
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:59 PM
14

But the majority of men can just engage in sex in general without worrying about getting pregnant. What I'm saying is, if I could have traded the risk of getting pregnant with the issues that men deal with in dating, I would have.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:56 PM
14

But not the majority. If I had to deal with the risk of getting pregnant and all the stressors men deal with in dating, no. Getting pregnant is a major stressor in dating, or it was for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:52 PM
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Fair enough. Maybe the ones who don't don't want to come across as or be conflated with super mean women, idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:45 PM
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I swear I just read somewhere on here that women are cruel and make fun of ugly men for being ugly all the time. I think different women do different things I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:42 PM
43

Does this mean men are the ones that have to deal with the risk of pregnancy?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:38 PM
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Well, considering I never told you what your personal experiences were as an individual, that was quite a leap. I have only referred to big picture things, not individual experiences, other than my own. I do have a lot of nerve, I will give you that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:16 PM
5

The list of what they and their lives have in common with regular people is shorter than what differenciates them for regular people. All you have to do is look at their lives and contrast that with a normal life.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:05 PM
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You're either gaslighting or so used to the predatory framing that to you it just looks "neutral" and you can't even imagine how it could be possibly questioned or framed any differently. Crazy how you think you know the cumulative knowledge of my life experiences better than myself. It's impossible to debate someone who thinks they are omniscient. Have a good day.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:02 PM
5

In what way are celebrities and thier lives representative of most men and women and their lives?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 04:57 PM
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Basically, I agree that self-discipline will improve the quality of your life and probably your dating/sex/love life. Most of the rp stuff sounds bonkers to me though.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 04:17 PM
7

Not sure celebrities are a great measure for most people. Kinda not representative or most women and most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 04:12 PM
1

Yeah that's my concern too. I've trying to have more conversations about being vulnerable and respectful at the same time, because it's starting to feel like no one taught them how at all. And they don't feel comfortable being disrespectful. Like little stuff like saying "Hey can I vent for a sec?" and then venting of the other says sure. People really need to teach their kids about talking to other people instead of telling them to be quiet and go away.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 03:49 PM
1

I'm used to this pattern of behavior in a less hateful form. The men I actually know irl tend to do a bit of the hijacking conversation, but without anger/resentment. So when I say something like "Hey, I don't want to change the subject before addressing what I brought up." they are like "Oh, my bad." and later will ask something like "When can I bring up my thing?" The amount of times I've suggested starting their own conversation instead of hijacking one is wild. I think many of them don't rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 03:41 PM
1

Yes, this is something that hasn't bothered me. Cold approaching in general bothered me less than usual, I think. But I appreciated when a guy would offer his number instead of asking for mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 03:33 PM
2

Most people do not cheat. Most women don't cheat. (Both less than 50%, so the majorty of people and women do not cheat.) This is part of why it is important to vet people and establish boundaries and whatnot.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 03:29 PM
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There isn't just the dichotomy of framing male sexuality as predatory and celebrating it. Inbetween those two things there's a lot of different perspectives, many of them close to neutral. Male sexuality is neither widely framed as predatory nor celebrated. I think it is simply widely accepted as a normal part of life. I've come across a few individuals with an extreme take, and online I've come across a few pockets of people with extreme takes in their own echo chambers. But most people do not …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 03:23 PM
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What did/are you studying?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:43 AM
3

Then you might want to stop using language like "rationally", "logically", and "good faith". Those are terms about thinking and action, not feelings. There is no need to involve logical thinking and actions if we are just talking about feelings. Feelings also can't be logically debated. They are just feelings. This is a debate sub. It is common for people to feel resentment when they believe that are being slighted in some way. I'm sure you already knew that before you made the post. What else i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 04:06 AM
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If success is not what you use to measure mastery, then what is?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 03:58 AM
2

Things do not rationally lead to emotional states. Rationality is thought driven by logic in spite of emotional reactions. Emotional states and reactions are not driven by or justified by logic or reasoning. They just happen. We don't control them- we only control what we do in respose to them. I don't think it is ever rational to intentionally feed your own resentment, because it's like wasting resouces. But other than that, it's just an emotion. You feel it or you don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 03:55 AM
3

No I do feel resentment, but it is never worth the energy it takes from me. You specifically asked if it was worth it to resent.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 03:48 AM
1

It's not even all of radical feminists. There are some out there, but they are few. I've heard it some in weird, culty, hyper conservative religious communities.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 03:46 AM
4

I don't think resentment is worth the time and energy it takes in general. I don't resent men in general because of the men that committ sexual assults. Individuals are responsible for what they do to others. Resenting men who have not sexually assulted people because other men have is irrational and not worth my energy, in my opinion. Resentment and good faith don't have anything to do with each other. Resentment is an emotional state. Good faith refers to transactions and actions that are done…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 03:44 AM
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Wow, that is so specific. I would not choose to date someone off that info alone, for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 01:41 AM
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Generally, yes. It might not be knowingly or intentionally self-inflicted, but yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 01:34 AM
3

I definitely have always preferred kind men and have fled the ones I found out were not actually kind. But I couldn't date kind men that were boring- I preferred to be single than that tbh. Kind men can be funny, have charisma and so on. These are not mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 01:30 AM
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What?? Well, I am now.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 01:18 AM
1

I don't have a line that people can cross and be "too picky" in my mind. I do, however, have a line that people can cross and be too annoying to me. And people who are picky and complain frequently often cross the "too annoying" line. But I don't have an opinion on their pickiness. I don't care if people are picky or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 01:01 AM
7

Scenario 1: A woman cheats on her boyfriend? It wasn't her fault because he "didn't make her feel a certain way" or "didn't put in enough effort", etc. → Accountability avoided. I know 1 woman like this. She is in her 70s. All the other women I have known think cheaters are cheaters and have no one else to blame but themselves. Scenario 2: A woman hits a man and gets hit back. Women will proceed to blame the man for hitting a woman and completely disregard the fact that she engaged in physical v…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 08:11 PM
3

If we are going with this notion that male sexuality is scary and degrading....Or that male gaze is evil.... Again if women don't care about male approval, according to feminists.... If male sexuality is framed as predatory or harmful.... Whoa. This is not a widely held belief. Only truly radical feminists believe this. Most women who are attracted to men are going to care to some extent about male approval, and are going to enjoy male sexuality as a positive thing to some extent or another.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 07:34 PM
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Everyone is responsible for their choices. Men and women are responsible for their choices that hurt people, and men and women are responsible for tolerating people who treat them poorly. People should choose people who treat them with respect. People should treat people with respect. Both things exist at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 07:23 PM
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Statistics need to have all variables....logged. This phrase could be reworded as "statistics need to be statistics" and mean exactly the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 06:30 PM
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Statistics need to have all variables, especially looks, location, & relative desirability, logged. The entire purpose of statistics is to measure different variables and how they relate to one another as well as the data topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 06:25 PM
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I’m not looking for “well it’s up to the couple to figure out boundaries, etc.” I want to know where you think the line should be by default/for you. I don't have a default line. If there's a situation that makes one of us uncomfortable, we talk about it and figure out where the line needs to be for that situation. Other than that, the boundary is not cheating, aka don't develop a romantic/sexual relationship with someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 06:23 PM
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Idk I've always found stuff like that endearing. Don't give up prematurely 🥲.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 06:19 PM
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Statistics are documented, repeatable observations in which cognitive biasies are taking into account and countered. One person's observations can't objectively "beat" statistics. But most people trust their own observations over scientifically collected and documented data. We generally prefer to trust ourselves than more objective info.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 06:13 PM
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The sample size for the statistics is much larger than the amount of women you have known. The law of small numbers could explain this on it's own. The smaller the sample, the more likely you are to get statistically extreme results.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:48 PM
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With my husband, we have discussions on things that matter to us and come to agreements. If one of us ignores the agreement and does whatever whe want anyway, that is disrespectful. If one of us forgets or messes up, that person apologizes. If the agreement no longer works for one of us, we rediscuss and come to an updated agreement. For things that aren't too important, we just work around each other. For example, I misplace things and he completely forgets to clean certain things. He labels wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:30 PM
1

Men figuring stuff out doesn't bother me at all. Men insisting that their personal, negative feelings towards women prove that all women are a certain way is pretty disheartening on a few levels. Men saying that they have figured out women already and describe all women in a way that resembles ASPD is disturbing. But, no, men actively figuing things out with an open mind and a lack of blinding hatred and resentment doesn't bother me at all. I find it encouraging, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:02 PM
1

Why would I sleep with someone I'm not attracted to? All the people I'm attracted to stand out to me from my perspective. I don't know if they stand out to others or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 04:55 PM
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No, you're just going to have to bite the bullet and be the guy who tells people to f off when they are vulnerable with you and you don't want them to be. People aren't going to stop talking things you don't like.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:30 AM
2

When I was dating, I met the people I dated by becoming friends with them first. My husband and I met and became friends through a mutual friend before we ever started dating. I met friends through work, school, church/religious groups, and through mutual friends. I really just made a few close friends and met most of my other friends through them. When a friend asked me to hang out with them and a bunch of other people, I would almost always say yes and ended up meeting a ton of people and some…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:27 AM
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I only hang out with nerds that like science, art, movies and snacks idk. All of us work out and prioritize health in general, but it's pretty chill. If a woman acts bonkers I avoid her same as with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 02:59 AM
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I second the painful kiss. Looks good, but dangerous, like a cactus.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 02:54 AM
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I was very picky with dating, but not in gneneral. The only other thing I'm truly picky about is that clothing needs to be comfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 02:52 AM
1

With someone who sees appreciates, and admires his succeses? Yeah. Hypothetical guy made a name for himself and hypothetical gal acknowledges it and see is as admirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 02:48 AM
1

Maybe read 5. 5 moves toward 7 in stress and toward 8 in growth. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 02:25 AM
1

They gave me a med called prazosin/minipress. It's one that has no withdrawals, so you can start/stop whenever. Just fyi if it is/becomes a major issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 02:16 AM
1

7? lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 02:13 AM
2

just leave me to my books. As a fellow 5, real.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 02:13 AM
1

Dang, I feel you on the dreams. Had to go to the doctor for mine because I couldn't sleep much.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 02:11 AM
1

I'm not saying instead of, I'm just asking what else in addition to sexual/romatic validation.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 02:09 AM
3

I think anything sexual that requires clear communication and clear consent has the possibility to be a healing experience for people who have been treated with carelessness and disrespect or worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 02:03 AM
1

I'm a 5, not a 3, but I'm pretty focused on work/school in general, and get along with 3s real well. Working/studying with men is pretty easy unless they are erratic. Working/studying with women is only difficult when the personal relationships are getting crossed with the professional ones. Mostly, I work with people fine and I like them. The women 3s I've know are really pragmatic and down to earth and busy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 01:30 AM
2

How old were you when you had your first kiss? 18 First relationships? Casual sex? 18, 0 casual sex How many relationships/partners have you had? 4 relationships, 1 partner (first 3 relationships were pretty short) What's the longest you've gone single/sexless? There was a 2 year gap of true singleness during the period of time I dated people. Do you find sex and dating to be unimportant? Were​ your best experiences in life strictly outside of these things? Honestly, yes and yes, until I met and…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:50 PM
1

I agree with this perspective, personally. That's why I said "sense of self-worth" instead of just "self-worth". I wanted to know what plays into the estimation itself for different people.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:17 PM
1

I think you might me assigning a premise to what I said that I did not intend. I don't disagree with what you are saying, and didn't disagree with the underlying concepts before you said them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:01 PM
1

I think I see what you mean. It's like a way to maintain will and agency and assert yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:51 PM
1

I'm curious, how are you not worth anything to yourself? I've found that, the version of myself that has more self-discipline, patience, grace, dilligence etc., makes my life much higher quality than the old version of me that lacked those things. When my body is healthy, my life is much better, as opposed to when my body is sick. My good characteristics and health of my body are worth a lot to me- I intentionally take care of those parts of myself becuase they are worth so much to me. How is it…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:22 PM
1

I didn't mean "What can be substituted for sexual/romantic validation". I meant, other than sexual/romantic validation, what else increases your sense of self-worth? If the answer for you is nothing, that's fine. I just wanted to clarify my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:14 PM
1

If you are being serious, I would love to know how anger increases your sense of self-worth.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:54 AM
1

I understood that part. I personally don't subscribe to the concept of self-love specifically. The closest thing I have to that in my mind is having dignity. (I just prefer to use other's ideas and terms when I want to know what they think and feel- "self-worth" is the most common term I hear, sometimes self-love is used instead.) But, if you were to swap out "self-worth" with "dignity" for the question in the title, does that change your answer in anyway, or is there anything missing from your …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:50 AM
1

My definition is a little vague because I also want to know how you guys define this for yourselves. In the spirit of clarity, I personally think of it as dignity, or your sense of dignity. Also, this sounds like the social equity that someone else was describing here, which is an interesting way of thinking about these things to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:33 AM
3

I really don’t like the way seeking romantic and sexual validation is demonized these days. I also find this strange considering how human it is to seek romantic/sexual validation.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:30 AM
1

How would you personally differenciate between the two things?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:28 AM
1

I think it matters and has a major impact, so I do not think that it should not matter. My meaning was more "Other than this obvious thing, what else?"
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:27 AM
1

I feel like you answered the question pretty thoroughly. On a personal level, what people call self-love/respect/worth, I think of that as having dignity, or a sense of dignity, in my mind. If that means something different to you, and you'd like to add something, I'm all ears.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:26 AM
1

Sure, I don't think it does. It's more of a coexistence in my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 10:43 PM
1

Thank you, I appeciate this. My brothers tend towards being what I think of as empathetic strategists, so I imagine this is at least similar to the perspectives they will/are developing.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 07:51 PM
2

Literally anything. I think "what" depends on how you think of it or don't as an individual. Personal/individual value is another way to think about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 07:38 PM
2

Ah okay, that makes more sense. Kinda like different forms of social equity.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 07:20 PM
2

I gotcha. It seems fairly common that men get the majority of their connection/validation from LTRs. Sometimes healthy relationships with other family.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 07:10 PM
2

I would say that there's definitely a division in my life. There is a Work Me, Family Me, Personal Me, and so on. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's almost like game stats in terms of different individual abilities all contributing to your collective success in different ways. (Apologies- I think in visuals mostly.) That all makes sense to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 07:07 PM
3

No, I just view the worth/value of an individual as being entirely in the eyes of the society. Okay, gotcha. So is your sense of control over your value as a person being what others want, or finding people who want what you have to offer?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 07:00 PM
7

So like, missing pieces of social identity are missing reguardless of whatever other pieces may or may not be there?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 06:52 PM
5

I think you might be talking about self-esteem? Self-worth would include anything pertaining to your sense of your worth/value as an individual. Maybe I am misunderstanding you idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 06:51 PM
4

I don't mind if you disgree with the concept of self-worth. The idea is what makes you feel stable/secure within yourself as a member of your community, whatever that may be for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 06:49 PM
3

"Pick me" is about motive- saying something that you think will get you approval from men and saying it for that reason, often instead of expressing true opinions, thoughts or feelings. It's hard to tell online, but irl, those women will say one thing in front of men, and the opposite or something very different when the men aren't around. It's a type of two-facedness.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 06:20 PM
1

Casual objectification from strangers would never bother me if I knew it would never result in truly threatening behavior. It's the possibility of danger that makes it awful for me. It has nothing to do with the appearance of the man.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 06:14 PM
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Luck and/or a natural consequence of consistently getting to know befriending people. Like he and I intentionally built platonic relationships with others and each other. We we had purposfully developed a solid friendship before we started dating, and wouldn't have started dating had we not built the friendship.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 05:07 PM
1

You probably already know this, but a lot of churches have online services and classes as well. Not the same as community, but an avenue for practicing at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 05:00 PM
1

😬 real
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 04:57 PM
1

I mean this with good intentions (hard to convey over text), but is the issue your personality, or a lack of awareness/self-control? I'm just wondering because, I am a quite assertive, and I do not yell at people without realizing it. I'm pretty even keel/gentle with people. For me, it is mostly been due to practicing patience and compassion when I start to get frustrated, and has very little to do with submission. I don't have issues with people in authority (bosses, professors etc) unless they…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 04:54 PM
9

I can't imagine going online and writing a short paper to total strangers telling them they don't know how to love. This is quite sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 09:09 AM
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Yeah idk about that. My husband had stopped dating and was single before we met, became friends, and started dating. If the relationship "fell into my lap" then the same happened to him too. Maybe the solution would be people being friends with more people. I never really went looking for people to date, but I was always meeting new people and trying to befriend them. Everyone I dated started as a friend first.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 07:26 AM
1

Oh. Sheesh.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 05:02 AM
1

Sorry- it can get kinda brutal here sometimes and didn't want you to get blind-sided.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 04:37 AM
2

Just a heads up, g, there are rp women places on reddit, but this subreddit is a pretty mixed bag. I haven't seen a lot of the rp women here, just a few. And there are a lot of people here who are generally very anti-religion.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 04:34 AM
1

All gen z (16-26). Oldest hasn't tried to date, middle is engaged but overthinks everything (he is a sweet heart who is scared to "be a bad man"), and the youngest is still pretty reserved and trying to figure out what he thinks about it all. They have collectively talked to me a lot about gender roles and whether or not men are generally bad (yikes) because they know I rejected all that stuff. Hopefully I've said something helpful along the way 🥲. Weirdly enough, in my family it was the women w…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 04:30 AM
1

Do you know these people already or are you dming stangers?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 04:13 AM
1

I think the exploitative/predatory part is dependent on the lack of ability/capablity of the younger compared to the older. Eg naive 18 year old with a 30 year old is probably more iffy than a 28 year old with a career with a 40 year old.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 04:11 AM
2

I'm happy for you. It sunk in for my brothers and they are actively trying to mentally dig their way out of it. I feel like those general gendered expectations make it really difficult for people to find/develop relationships that work for their personalities, unless their personalities naturally align with the trad gendered expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 03:58 AM
3

I think it just went right over my head tbh. I was raised hyper-religious with purity culture and whatnot and rejected those expecations and kinda started from scratch, so the expectations of society at large wasn't a big concern I guess. I didn't feel the need to internalize or follow the expectations of the "traditional" esque stuff I was taught, and I also didn't feel the need to find other expecations to meet. I kinda just let myself live and figure out what I wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 03:43 AM
3

I'm married. These were my expectations: Me: -Treat people I date with kindness and respect -Stop dating them if I don't like them instead of trying to change them People I dated: -Treat me with kindness and respect -Stop dating me if they don't like me instead of trying to change me I only started dating people I was already attracted to. I didn't overthink it before dating people, just played it by ear. I didn't care at all what societal/cultural expecations of dating were. All other expectati…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 01:50 AM
–

Wow.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 01:38 AM
2

I guess some of us hate alone time sheesh
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 01:34 AM
–

I can't remember a time in my life where I found most of the men my age ugly. Back when I was dating, I really struggled with how assertive/aggressive and emotionally reactionary men were because, at the time, I was pretty shy. But I didn't have a problem with guys' looks in general, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 12:31 AM
1

This is the best strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 11:31 PM
2

No guru, but I've had some professors go above and beyond and take time to talk to me about being a person/not just class stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 11:30 PM
2

I dress my bed better than I dress myself 😂 So real for this lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 09:41 PM
1

Idk, when I was young I'd go eat alone at places and no one seemed to think that was weird. This might be a "varies by location" issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 09:21 PM
1

ouch (true)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 09:18 PM
2

Me. Where I live is hot and humid. I need to feel clean while I sleep fr.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 09:17 PM
–

Iconic flair. 10/10
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 09:16 PM
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My experience with my husband was kinda along these lines. Loved being single before, but life was even better with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 08:42 PM
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I have similar suspicions. I loved being single. Dating was kinda awful in comparision (other people, not my spouse obvs). I didn't feel like I had anything to complain about when I was single (in terms of my single status). I am also a really social introverted person, which I feel like is a pretty sweet combo to keep lonliness mostly at bay in general. My husband enjoyed being single, but was definitely lonelier than me, from the conversations we've had about it. But he went from a really high…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 08:31 PM
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I guess what I'm trying to say is women who are happy being single actually have nothing to gain from a partner other than the relationship itself so if they don't value the relationship why even bother to date? So funny story, I stopped dating for two years because of this prior to meeting my now husband. We became friends and eventually decided to date, and then got married a year after we started dating. He had done something similar and had stopped dating and enjoyed being single for a while…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 08:15 PM
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I've been both breadwinner and caregiver at different points (and for awhile simultaneously) and he has done the same at various points pending who needs what when (we both have had medical issues so far- though temporarily, thankfully). At the end of the day, we are partners and one will pick up the slack for the other, period. I think the determination and loyalty has been comparable between us. He has needed a lot more from me effort wise in total so far, but that also wasn't his fault in any…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 07:57 PM
3

I wonder if the added risk of pregnancy for women effects this stuff on a subconcious level tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 07:34 PM
1

So if you’re not attracted to both, may aswell go with the more pleasant one. Right? I'm also bi to be fair. But seriously. Being attracted to one gender doesn't mean you are attracted to everyone with that gender. If you're not attracted to the man or the woman, and you have to pick one, why not pick the prettier one? I don't understand his confusion with this issue. (But I'm also bi so idk.)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 05:04 PM
1

Is it hypergamy to you if women stay single until they have the oppotunity to be with someone who is equally able and willing to contribute to the relationship? How are you determining that they are specifically only being with people who have and are willing to contribute more? Not hypothetically, but actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 01:34 PM
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I had better luck with men's razors before switching to a safety razor. I've noticed most of the products I end up using long term aren't gender marketed, so idk maybe something is going on there.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 06:04 AM
5

I've never met a straight girl that would rather sleep with a beautiful girl than a below-average guy. I've known a lot a pretty straight girls who are with/date guys who are not as pretty, actually. What do you mean "most girls"? Where is this coming from?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 05:56 AM
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A lot of people suck, but that does not mean all or even most do. There's like 8 billion of us or something now. It would be easy for one person to meet mostly sucky people and for the majority of people to still not suck. Also of you are tired of people disagreeing with you, making a debate post where only the top level comments can disagree with you might not be the ideal solution. The women here who agree with you can't make top level comments if you make your post a debate post. You'd at lea…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 02:07 PM
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That could also be considered behavior that is deceptive to the point of betrayal. Person A doing the same behavior as person B doesn't make the behavior more or less moral or justified in terms of personal responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 04:13 PM
1

I'm not arguing for or against your point. Your point doesn't contradict mine. I'm not sure we have a point of contention.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 06:38 PM
0

Her behavior can be her responsibility and his behavior can be his responsibility. These *are mutually exclusive issues. Her responsibility for her behavior does not absolve him of his and vise versa. Maybe this is the main disagreement here. Edit: sorry had to change *are not to *are because I got distracted my b
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 06:37 PM
2

I used really basic, simple words to describe basic, simple behaviors. I fail to see what is buzz or vogue. This is like, common, boring language. Pedatory behavior does not necessiate SA. It includes it, but it's like a square rectangle situation. It just means the behavior seeks to take what is not otherwise made available. Deception to the point of betrayal is a common form of predatory behavior in both sexual and non-sexual circumstances. This is like, behavior 101, not vogue or edgy or what…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:57 PM
2

Betrayal is not part of suduction. If your deception becomes so extreme that you are betraying trust, you exited seduction and entered predatoral behavior, reguardless of how people respond to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:45 PM
3

If you agree with me then why are you arguing with me?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:40 PM
3

There're gradients to these things. A man that lies about being a smoker to get a smoke break is engaging in a different behavior than a man who lies to fuck somebody, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:38 PM
2

Again, yes, but that doesn't make the behavior of the hypothetical man in thia senario any less deceptive. He's utilizing deception and betrayal of trust to get something he wants from the hypothetical woman. Hypothetical woman agree to thing under conditions that were agreed upon. If the condition was marriage instead of a verbal committment, and the man married her, had sex with her, and then immediately filed for divorce, that would be a lot of work and kinda bonkers, but functionally the sam…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:36 PM
1

Yeah, I've know very few people who are willing to treat people this way. Normally there's some other concerning behaviors as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:02 PM
2

Bisexual here. From what I have gathered from talking with men, I experience attraction different from men. It's still pretty simple though. A lot of men and women are pretty to look at. Some of these men and women have a presence/vibe that is sexually attractive to me. I don't need to know them of interact with them to be attracted to them. It's also not just looks. There are so many people that look really good, but I don't feel attracted to. That's normally where I deviate from the men I have…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 03:28 PM
1

That's a possible solution, sure. But that doesn't mean he didn't lie in this senario.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 03:05 PM
7

Is this just for hook ups? If a women says "I like you, but I only have sex with people once I'm in a committed relationship." and the guy says "Cool I want to be in an exclusive committed relationship with you." And they have sex and he ghosts or breaks up with her immediatly after, is that not a major betrayal of trust just to have sex, aka lie to get someone to have sex with you just to have sex, on the man's part? He used her trust to get sex, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 03:03 PM
1

I think you could be right. It's just so highly subjective that I'm not sure there's a way to know. I think maybe a possibility is that there are varying degrees of bisexuality, and it's a lot harder to figure out if you are actually bisexual when you are frequently sexually attracted to one gender and rarely to the other. Idk, I think a lot of men and women are sexually attractive a lot of the time, so it's pretty simple and straightforward for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 01:46 AM
1

This is where I feel like I can't contribute anymore because I am attracted to both men and women. 🤷‍♀️ I feel like I'd need to be attracted to just one or the other to put myself in those shoes, ya know?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 01:22 AM
1

Is that refusal or incapability? I would categorize that as the latter (other than fear, unless is was pathological), unless it was mild enough to where is could be contended with, in which case I would not feel like I could absolutely rule out laziness as a contributing factor. I've dealt with these and is hasn't caused me to refuse to work on social skills. I've been temporarily incapable, however.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 01:01 AM
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PSA: Guys, if your lady isn't touching your body during sex, find a better partner. Dude for real, wtf.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 09:10 PM
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That's why they rarely touch a man's body during sex I have good news for you, bud. This ain't normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 09:02 PM
4

That sucks, dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 08:29 PM
3

🤷‍♀️ There are a lot of pretty to look at men and women that I don't feel sexually attracted to. I assume it's the same for just straight and just gay people too. You can like looking at someone and also not want to f*ck them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 08:24 PM
1

I'm bisexual (part of why I didn't just outright answer the question), so no lol you can call me gay all you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 07:24 PM
2

You didn't answer either of my clarifying questions to the points that you were making. I also never said "refusal to put forth all your energy toward (working on social skills)" and neither did she.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 03:33 PM
0

Can you give an example of someone who is refusing to work on their social skills and is not lazy at all for it? I can't imagine a senario in which it's impossible that someone is refusing to work on social skills and lazy for it. Also she said "a lot" not "all" in her post. Is that a willful misrepresentation or an accidental one on your part?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 03:10 PM
1

It didn't confuse me on the first read through. It was written clearly. And she has clarified her points multiple times, not refused to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 03:05 PM
1

Ugh dude, did you read the article I dropped? It cited studies that look at both and contrasts them, studies from both before and after the single study you shared. You decided to share a study with less info than the article I shared and that was older than many of the studies the article I shared referenced, congrats. I was trying to be nice about it and include you instead of calling you out.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:57 AM
1

They are looking at both, my guy. Female arousal includes both things.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:25 AM
1

That's why I dropped an article that cited the findings of 50 something studies instead of 1. I know dude, they were talking about both and when in response each happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:24 AM
1

Here's a 2022 follow up to the study you shared (same researchers). This is one of the studies cited in the article I shared. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32026221/
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 05:35 AM
1

I'm pretty sure they are both talking about the same stuff- vaginal vasocongestion vs lubrication in response to different stimili in different circumstances. It's going to vary across women. It's interesting, but it looks like the sample in this study was only 20 women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 04:53 AM
2

*people with female genitalia it's specifically about female genitalia, so "female" is actually accurate here
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 01:44 AM
3

I think the only thing I can think of is that people can totally sleep with people they aren't even attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 09:05 PM
4

This is actually fairly normal and more sisterhood than anything. Straight women preferring female non-sexual companionship is what you would expect.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 08:12 PM
3

I get what you mean and I understand the frustration. I don't really know why the behaviors are so different between men and women on same gendered things, personally. But as far as hooking up goes, I think that's largely explained by personality differences. For example, I'm bi, super supportive of consensual sex in all forms, and I have never hooked up with anyone because it is so against my personality to be that vulnerable with someone I haven't established trust and a bond with, no matter h…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 08:11 PM
9

If you think one gender looks nice, but you've never wanted to have sex with them, that's not the same as being sexually attracted to that gender. I think a lot of straight women think other women are really pretty to look at, but they don't want to have sex with them. While bisexual/lesbian women both think other women are pretty to look at and want to have sex with them. I'm bi, so I'm guessing here, but that is the gist of the difference from what I understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 07:37 PM
11

I think she's using "physical" and "sexual" to mean completely different things. As in physical attraction is not sexual attraction. Could be wrong, but I think that's what she's getting at.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 07:23 PM
3

Real.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 06:52 PM
3

I respect your transparency and gif usage honestly
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 06:50 PM
7

That's not what the other commenter or my comment insisted the studies say. What they were talking about, and what was discussed in the article I dropped, is that it is thought that, due to evolutionary process and the existence of rape throughout that process, that women have a physical sexual response to stimuli as a protective measure against damage that can be caused by rape, even when they are disgusted by the stimuli, not that women are turned on psychologically by rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 06:01 PM
3

I was just about to put my phone down to go do my philosophy homework, in which I literally have to utilize rational thought to pass every assignment, quiz, and test lol. But that sounds like a very high emotion, low rational thought approach to the situation. Which is fine, it's your life, just ironic.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:42 PM
5

That's also weird unless they are more attracted to women than to men lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:20 PM
8

Or maybe just differentiate between regular arousal (where the woman is sexually interested) and paradoxical arousal (where the women is sexually disinterested), especially since they serve different purposes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:15 PM
-4

Idk, I'm bi, I was raised in a hyper-religious cult-esque family and was taught that women are not visually sexually attracted to people. And I am still somehow sexually attracted to men's bodies despite also being attracted to women, and being brainwashed into thinking that I wasn't sexually attracted to anyone. (And I also didn't do the paradoxical swing into hyper-sexuality- I've just been chillin figuring this stuff out the whole time.) I'm not sure the brain is so maliable that women can be…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:06 PM
8

Here's one: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8888380/
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 03:10 PM
1

Yes! Years ago and my husband and I still reference it lol. The different ideologies along the way were really interesting. I love how archetypal the sybolism felt throughout.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 03:02 PM
48

Are you differentiating between "visually arousing" and "visually attractive" or not? Those are two different things, but if they are the same in your mind, it's gonna be difficult to answer your question.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 02:59 PM
1

Hmm I never tried the sequal. I really enjoyed playing it. I'd always played horror games or fps before that one. The storyline was super weird and interesting to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 02:53 PM
3

Well, I've got great news for you if that's the only thing holding you back.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 02:48 PM
1

Nah friend, women are the ones trying to have fun in this conversation, and you're the one trying to police it. You still can't see it and it's funny lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 02:38 PM
1

"Women don't play videogames and you won't convince me otherwise." This was the literal comment I'm referring to that you doubled down on. So yeah, you did lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 02:26 PM
1

Geez, are you the "fun" police? Lame. How dare our friend here enjoy a literal game.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 02:23 PM
1

I didn't do anything reguarding the mods. They took down the whole post.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 02:17 PM
0

Aw dip cool! Have you played Metro 2033? I think that's my favorite horror fps/survival game. Stresses me out real bad though lol. The Librarians are particularly terrifying.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:52 AM
1

Which games do you like?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:41 AM
7

No, I've spent too much time figuring out who I want to be as a woman. I wouldn't want to start over at 29 as a man. I don't think my brain could handle being socialized as a woman for 29 years and then just being a man all the sudden. Edit: If reincarnation is real, I would totally be reincarnated as myself but a man and just start that way from the beginning out of curiosity.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:10 AM
1

I get this in my own way. I've always wanted to be a mom. I would still love to be a mom, but each year I just learn about more brutality. I remember moments when I was a growing up and I was like, "Wtf did my parents make me exist in this psycho place?" and it kills me to imagine having children and them wondering the same. I love being an aunt and a sister though. That's very cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:03 AM
1

Yeah, my recipe is authentic Tex-Mex 😂. There are some great authentic enchilada recipes online.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 03:00 AM
1

Authentic enchiladas are a lot of work, but if you can get your hands on, sweet peppers, onion, yogurt/sour cream, a taco seasoning packet, a meat of your choice (I like chicken/or beans if you're vegetarian/vegan), premade enchilada sauce, cheese, and corn tortillas, it's pretty easy to make simple enchiladas. You cook the meat, mix everything from sweet peppers-meat with enchilada sauce, and then (if you don't want to role them) you make a layer of corn tortillas, then the mixture, then anothe…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 02:46 AM
3

If it is real, it kinda seems like, from this and his other post, that they've never really liked each other, and got married and have stayed together anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 02:34 AM
1

I thought some people would find "venting" to be reductive, but I guess not.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 12:48 AM
3

Are you opposed to cooking breakfast for a few days in one go/are you opposed to breakfast enchiladas?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 12:25 AM
1

Cool beans. I'll keep that in mind if I ever get into the nexus community missions on nms.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 12:15 AM
2

Idk 🤷‍♀️ I only play videogames alone or with friends. Not really sure what goes on online amongst strangers.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 12:09 AM
2

It did kinda seem like aimless venting ngl. Felt like it didn't have much to do with video games really.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 11:38 PM
3

See that would have been less funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 11:37 PM
2

Hmm good point. I think I've heard stuff like that before, but I have a low tolerance for the phrase "That's not a real (fill in the blank)..." so I have probably tuned it out quite a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 11:30 PM
2

That's why it was so funny to me. He may have worded one comment poorly and then decided to double down rather than correct himself idk. Either way it was cracking me up.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 11:26 PM
2

He was pretty insistent that women do not play videogames at all, period. That's the molehill he was dying on.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 11:20 PM
5

Idk why, but a guy on here tried to explain to me how women are somehow both invading men's space in the gaming world and also do not play videogames at all, and I am still cracking up over it lol. It reminds me of when my younger brothers were little and would pick a fight with me and absolutely die on a molehill for no reason. Like some shit like zebra cakes are better than popsicles lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 09:53 PM
–

Have fun!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 09:27 PM
–

🤙🤙 If you get into No Man's Sky, be prepared to consult the wiki fandom page and the No Man's Sky subreddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 09:08 PM
–

I love No Man's Sky. I really like odd, horror esque indie games like Slay the Princess and Fran Bow.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 09:01 PM
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Lol I'm not an impressive gamer. That's not an attack, it's just true. But I do love gaming- it's very fun and nostalgic. I haven't played Mortal Kombat II (with a K this time) in years or the Halo games in a while. Mostly just NMS now and some indie games.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 08:05 PM
–

Oh, I am not an impressive person in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 07:54 PM
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Obviously. Must be why I've enjoyed it so much throughout my life and have so many good memories of playing very quiet rounds of Mortal Combat II and Halo 2 with my dad early on weekend mornings before my mom woke up.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 07:48 PM
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I politely refuse to take responsibility for my love of gaming. It's not my fault it's the only way my dad would bond with me as a kid. Blame him lol. I would've been too busy playing outside to care about videogames otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 07:32 PM
2

That's fair. I forget that ranting makes some people feel better because it usually makes me more aggravated. I gotta go for a run or a hike or something to calm down when I'm too emotional to chill out.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 05:26 PM
2

Geez that's heartbreaking on so many levels.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:32 PM
1

Most people (both men and women), live off of their instict and intuition without questioning it. It's not a bad or good thing morally, and it is a net positive in terms of survival for most people. I like to call this aspect our "lizard brains" just for fun. So my lizard brain learned very young (ages 0-7) that most men were very kind/respectful most of the time, more aggressive/competative than women, and generally stronger than women. Ages 8-14 my lizard brain learned that some men are incred…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:31 PM
2

Oh, I find those interesting too. But I guess I have less curiosity after reading through because they clearly lay out their reasoning. Idk, I don't think anyone can fully understand the true complexity of humanity. That's kinda why we all have so many questions, or at least things we haven't figured out.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:10 PM
1

That's fair. I doubt I've seen many of the posts that have been actually taken down. A lot of the time I just read through posts and that no longer have much ongoing activity.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:06 PM
1

I think of it as more nuanced than complaining, personally. My personal phrase for it (for men and women), is "self-absorbed rant", but someone here suggested "venting essay", and I think I prefer that conotation wise for this particular type of vent/rant/monologue. I like learning about people's specific personal terms, and I was just curious enough about this one to actually ask.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:01 PM
3

I have wondered about this. The pacing of the monologues always reminds me of the ranting I've heard from 17-22 aged people when they are really frustrated about something.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 03:54 PM
1

I don't read most of them because they are not what I'm curious about on this sub. I've also had much more experience with irl monologues from women than internet monologues from women. My personal general term for a monologue like the ones we are describing here is "self-absorbed rant" (reguardless of gender). Someone here suggested "venting essay", and I think that might be more appropriate or fitting.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 03:32 PM
1

I'm not asking for a new term specifically. I'm more interested in personal terms for the behavior, along with my other questions. It would only be a new term if someone didn't already have one that they use.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 03:27 PM
9

This is roughly where my mind goes in terms of potential explanation. Also solid quote.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 06:28 AM
1

I have no way of knowing if I'm right, but I do imagine a sort of "panic-blocking" thing going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 06:27 AM
6

"Venting essays" is a good term. "Monologue" is technically neutral, but the connotation felt off for it. Thanks for the insight.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 06:25 AM
6

The men I know are expressive people. Men not talking about how they feel is not a normal aspect of my life. That's part of why I'm curious about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 06:11 AM
4

I don't find it ironic that men express their feelings. That's very normal in my mind. I find it ironic when men, very emotionally, express big negative emotions about women expressing their feelings. It's the specific behavior I find ironic, not the expression of feelings in general. And I don't know what to call it. My goal is just curiosity.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 06:05 AM
0

The literal stats only include reported instances. The estimates are not stats, but predictions based off of the stats. That's how stats and predictions work, bud. Edit: Apparently, offerring objective data will get you blocked by this guy, just fyi. Do what you will with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:29 AM
0

Here is a collection of actual stats with linked sources. It's just for the U.S., and obviously only includes instances that are reported. (I'm just placing this here for the purpose of an accessible source of info.) https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics/#:~:text=Nationwide%2C%2081%25%20of%20women%20and%2043%25%20of,sexual%20harassment%20and/or%20assault%20in%20their%20lifetime.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 03:54 AM
–

Where's that "noodle pilled" guy when you need him. I'm sure he'd have a good opinion on this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 03:01 AM
2

I think you're answering here the question you asked in your recently removed post, OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 02:59 AM
0

-Its not going to guarantee your relationship will work, I think some people think it's going to make their relationship last? But 43% of first marriages fail. https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/ I don't have to do the things that 43% of married people have done. I can learn from and do the things the other 57% have done. -Its expected you will take your husband's last name, otherwise the husband will get upset. This is just stupid, why would you want to give up your…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 04:01 PM
1

Makes sense. I think where I was lost was "not caring" and "not devistated" are two very different things to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:16 PM
1

Yeah, here it's just whatever insurace you have and whatever insurance the therapist accepts, or out of pocket.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 04:54 AM
1

It's really easy to get in with a therapist fairly quickly where I'm from. I'm sure that varies widely across locations. Psychologists are much more difficult to get in with, and I feel what you are describing in relationship to psychologists.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:07 PM
2

Ah okay gotcha. Yeah, I'd say people who are mentally stable without assistance don't need therapy, and whether or not they personally find it helpful would vary greatly person to person.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 08:06 PM
–

Doesn't answer your question (sorry) but I've heard these things said most irl by gen x and older millennial, southern, "traditional", American men.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 08:00 PM
6

I kinda thought men who insist that they need a wife or girlfriend to cook and clean for them were either lazy and too poor to afford to pay someone to do it for them, or they really want a mommy/son relationship with their partner. It's so self-infantilizing to be able-bodied and need someone to cook and clean for you. It's a little shocking to me that they are willing to admit to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 07:44 PM
3

This is kind of what I did, but not necessarily on purpose. He doesn't "know how" to relate to people or women (couldn't give you instructions) the way you described, but he is kind, listens, and tries to relate even when he doesn't naturally. He's not terribly awkward- but he doesn't really try to control how people see him, which allows for more awkwardness maybe, idk. I've known more women who have done something along these lines than those who haven't, but the ones I know who have not aren'…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 07:37 PM
4

I believe people when they tell me they say they have problems. I also keep an open mind about how honest and forthright people are being when describing their experiences. Our (all people) perceptions of ourselves and others are not infallible, and nothing is forcing us to tell the truth if we don't want to or feel like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 07:30 PM
1

If this is too personal, please ignore me, but were you referred to therapy for a mental health disorder, or were you recommended to go for emotional support (or something else)? I'm just curious because, if you are saying that therapy isn't necessarily what mentally stable men need to mature, grow, and develop as people, that's super different from therapy being an ineffective strategy for men dealing with mental illness. The primary purpose of mental health counseling is to treat mental illnes…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 07:11 PM
1

I was starting to worry that I had just completely missed how "Germany" had become some sort of reference or slang term that I hadn't come across yet lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 07:01 PM
1

Fair. Why have an exclusive relationship at all if you don't care that they end? It sounds like a lot of work for something that wouldn't be missed.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:53 PM
1

I am a nerd about this and you are making great points and asking good questions, so I will warn you that I will geek out and I do not mean to be overbearing. Apologies. While this should, theoretically, be true I don’t think it actually pans out given how unscientific mental health disorders are. Loads of people with obviously unhealthy/non-functional lifestyles are non-diagnosable (technically nothing wrong with them), and loads of people well within the normative range are diagnoses and ‘trea…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:44 AM
1

Individuals who don't meet diagnostic criteria for a mental health disorder are already at a measurable baseline of fuctionality (in terms of mental health) and generally go to therapy temporarily during a big change in their life (like grief/bereavement therapy, just for example) for extra support, especially if they lack close family connections and/or community. It's more like preventative medicine (like the flu shot), if we are going to compare it to reg medicine. Optional, but helpful. The …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:23 AM
1

Success rates for what specifically? They are different for different circumstances (diagnoses, access to care etc). I'd be happy to find some studies and stats about a particular topic if you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 04:56 AM
2

Scientific experiementation, studies, and the collection and utility statistical data over 100+ years has resulted in more than just tossing a bunch of shit at the wall to see what sticks in my personal opinion. There is nothing requiring you to agree with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:58 AM
6

You wanna reference any data on that? I do not share your feelings about the efficacy of therapy, but you can have whatever opinion and feelings you want. I'm not asking you to agree with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 02:20 AM
5

Science. Sometimes therapy is not the solution and it instead serves the purpose of clarifying the issue that needs a solution. E.g. means "for example". I just offered one example in which therapy served a purposed and was not the solution. I didn't say that if therapy doesn't work for someone that they are schizophrenic.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 01:59 AM
4

Because it's not "no matter what". There are reasons why therapy is not helping someone recieving it and those reasons are kind of important information. Like, e.g. if someone starts experiencing paranoia that gets worse are worse reguardless of therapy. At that point you'd (as the therapist) want to do some evaluations are referals for schizophrenia and disorders related to worsening paranoia to try to catch whatever is going on while it is still more manageable. Mental health is way more nuanc…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 01:52 AM
3

I don't understand why the "or" is necessary. The wrong form of therapy would not help. Poorly provided therapy would not help. Someone recieving therapy that decided therapy wouldn't help before going will not improve with therapy. None of that contradicts the points I made.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 01:41 AM
2

Truly. I'm kind of excited though because, with the advancments of technology, there's going to be more and more opportunities to study more specific behavioral patterns like this with both informed consent and bypassing interference on the part of the observers. And much easier to ensure anonymitity (with advancement in cybersecurity and data encryption and whatnot), which historically has increase honesty in self-reporting.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 12:13 AM
10

It's super weird to me too. The guys I've know irl have all been so very detailedly, distictively unique with their own stories and inner worlds (even the "shitty" guys). It's so weird to jump online and to see men be like "men only want sex" and "we don't care about women". Like, where are you guys? Why do I never organically meet you irl lol? All the men I meet are very human, and they're self-descriptions of men I see online are so often intensly myopic.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 12:00 AM
1

That's totally fair. I always ask when I have the opportunity and take whatever I'm told and stick it into my metephorical hat. I'm (eventually) going to the behavioral science field, and if I have the opportunity, this is one of the topics I want to contribute to. The more people I listen to, the more it sounds like a lot of this starts with how men were socialized as kids even on an individual level, which makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:44 PM
3

but successful behaviors under conditions where both parties aren't starting from nearly 0 information about each other is massively understudied. It would be so challenging to study this specifically in a way that is both ethical and would not compromise the study with bystander effect and what not. We do have a lot of self-reporting for it though, which while not unbiased, is still useful. And we have a lot of data about social behavioral patterns that are and are not successful from both anim…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:36 PM
2

I think you might just be aromantic, my guy. Nothing wrong with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:28 PM
5

I don't think there is anything inherently unethical/immoral about it without assigning some intentions that you do not explicitly state. I think there would have to be an underlying intention to cause harm to someone in someway directly or indirectly for it to begin to be unethical or immoral.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:25 PM
1

Man, I'm sorry. I've heard similar stories from so many men at this point, it's kind of bewildering. Do you have ideas of what would have made you seek help sooner in the process if something at some point had been different for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:04 PM
0

I mean, you're not wrong. Physical health is a major aspect of mental health. Endurance running is one of the more effective coping strategies for anxiety, for example. The right form of therapy and a reasonable, regular work out routine in combination are statistically highly successful for managing mental health issues that fall short of diagnostic criteria for disorders.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:00 PM
1

men are seeking treatment when they’ve got stage 3 or 4 cancer, instead of intervening when it’s at a far more treatable stage 1 or 2. Something that I have wondered about a lot, but don't know how to find specifc data on becuase the data itself is so subjective, is if this is truly what is happening and if that is part of why the suicide rates for men as so much worse. In reading and studying, I have wondered a lot how much compounding trauma these mean will accumulate just from trying to get t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:49 PM
0

High body count? Whore spotted /s I need to crosstitch this on a throw pillow or something 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:36 PM
6

That's a much better term for it than my tongue in cheek "glass is half full fallacy" lol Thanks, it's been an ongoing joke between me and my husband for awhile.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 08:52 PM
7

Answering as a psych student who is not going into counseling, I see what you are saying, but in the end I disagree. So. Many. Different. Methods. (For emphasis, not attitude) Have been developed in the realm of therapy, and so many of those methods have predomninately been devoloped by men for men, just by nature of consequence. Many of the most statistically effective therapy strategies have come out of navigating the treatment of severe mental illness in men. Those highly effective strategies…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 08:49 PM
13

The nice thing about being gaslit into going to therapy is that the therapist can help you learn how to identify gaslighting on your own, and then you have a new social skill in your tool belt.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 08:20 PM
–

Yeah it was a little rigged I think. A starving grizzly bear is way more likely to attack you than a man, but a happy lil black bear is just gonna get shy and fumble away awkwardly. And men wandering alone through the woods vs. men in general... very different. Not all men wandering alone in the woods are hikers and game wardens, why are they out there? Kinda important info.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 08:08 PM
–

The man or bear question has always cracked me up. I grew up in bear country, and bears so rarely attack or hurt people without first being antagonized. As a kid when I would go play in the woods, if I came across bears I just kept walking away, but I had to actively run away from men on two different occasions. Now, make me choose between a rando man and a mountain lion? Man hands down.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 07:56 PM
1

I respect that, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 07:26 PM
2

It depends on the amount and quality of change and the amount of time given for success to occur. It's more likely that people give up prematurely/grow complacant. People in general have a strong drive toward complacent behavior, which is also something that has been studied extensively. The more aware people are of their own complacency, the more likely they are to challenge that natural behavioral pattern. Meaning the most complacent people are likely to be the least self-aware. This is all st…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:50 PM
0

That's not what the evidence of the copious amounts of behavioral studies have shown over time, so I fail to see how that would be an authentic realization as opposed to a complacent, premature assumption.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:25 PM
2

When I studied this stuff in school (psychology), it seemed like there was a lot of disconnected evidence that sexual orientation and proclivities are heavily influenced by experiences. Or, in other words, there is actually a "nuture" element to our sexual psyche and it is not just a "nature" aspect of who we are. So, we might find over time with more studying that sexuality in general is much more fluid (shifting and changing over time) than we have previously thought. Maybe not, idk. It is int…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:10 PM
1

Ah okay gotcha. Yeah, I'd probably identify as straight too if my attraction to one of the two was way rarer than the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:57 PM
2

What word was "Jermaine" supposed to be before autocorrect took over?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:55 PM
-2

Successful and unsuccessful behaviors have been studied (and these findings published) too extensively for people who can be patient enough to read and learn and humble enough to honestly self-evaluate to have nothing other than looks and luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:49 PM
2

Have you asked your (coupled) friends for feedback on your behavior that might shed light on ways in which you could grow and develop as a person that would make you more successful in your romantic/sexual life? This is often a suggestion given to men that complain about being lonely, and they (frequently) retort with insisting that they do not have friendships like this that would provide them with a community that could help them grow, develop, and mature.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:35 PM
2

Women in general have a decent idea of what an average guy is. Women who are seeking attention online for one reason or another have no motive to display that they have an understanding of what an average man is. They have motive to dramatise their presence online for more views and attention. Women looking for attention online do not represent themselves as typical or average women. Using them as a measure to gage women in general won't give you a clear picture of average women out and about in…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 03:59 PM
0

Statistically speaking, women will stay with an older husband than needs caregiving. It's men who are more likely to leave a sick spouse. There was a really thorough longterm study done on this: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202503/why-more-marriages-end-when-wives-become-ill-than-when-husbands-do This is an article, but the study is linked in it. So, it's women who run the higher risk of being left if they get ill, not men. Which means, in a pragmatic sense, that age gap…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 03:53 PM
1

Statistically speaking, it is far more common for men than women to leave their partners that need care giving. here's an article about the study I'm thinking of. The study is linked in it. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202503/why-more-marriages-end-when-wives-become-ill-than-when-husbands-do
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:53 PM
1

So like, day before the wedding you still don't care, day after you do? Like an on off switch? What's the motive to marry if you don't care is she stays until you get married?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:46 PM
1

Why have an exclusive relationship at all if you don't care if/when they leave?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:44 PM
1

Are you not attracted to the guys you sleep with? If you're attracted to both men and women, that would be bisexual (or pansexual) even if you only chose to engage with one or the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:55 AM
2

You didn't ask her for an opinion, you asked her if she had questioned her own sexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:39 AM
1

Yes straight women exist. Hypothetically, sexuality could be a spectrum in which there is no such thing as 100% anything, in which case there would be no oppotunity in your hypothetical for a straight woman to exist. But there is no way test that beyond stats about attraction (which is self reported), which already establish that the majority of people consider themselves heterosexual (including women).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:35 AM
2

She can't answer for all women by answering for herself, so that would not prove or disprove anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:30 AM
1

i guess what i mean is compared to 10 and 20 years ago. i remember women talking about it with each other when i was a kid and a young adult, but the frequency has decreased even though i know more single/unmarried/childless women now that i did then.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 09:28 PM
0

It does seem that way. I rarely hear women complain or worry about not being married or having children, but I hear it from men directly or indirectly everyday. I think there are slightly more men than women world population wise rn and I've wondered if that comes into play at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 06:20 PM
0

What are you trying to debate here? Is this supposed to be a discussion or, like...? Wouldn't personal robots be mainstream first anyway? And then using them for sex would be an option you could engage in or not engage in? How would anyone know whether or not you did if you could just stop?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 06:17 PM
3

The 4B movement confused me because, from what I understand, they didn't have to do any of the things they chose not to do in the first place. Like, they could already stay single or only be with other women, or continue not having children. Those were options already.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 03:07 PM
–

How is that study related to your post, 2. how does that study compare to similar studies, and 3. how does that study compare to similar studies done with just men as well as studies done with both men and women?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 05:06 AM
–

It's marked debate, idk. Figured he might have at least a single study in mind at least. Otherwise this post is just embarassing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 04:07 AM
–

You got any data to back this stuff up other than your own experiences and feelings? There's a lot of massively bold claims going on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 03:53 AM
4

So you both have homeschooled your children? Like 50/50 as far as who is spending the time teaching them?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:44 PM
6

So are you homeschooling your children (or future children) or is/will your wife?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:33 PM
6

if one is foolish enough as to put one’s child in school in the first place ?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:26 PM
43

Idk, I was raised in a quasi cult and relatively socially isolated until adulthood. The idea of, "wow, I used to believe some dumb toxic shit" is pretty normal for me. It doesn't surprise me when others have as well. We all have to start somewhere, and we don't usually get to pick anything about our early upbringing and influences.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:26 PM
4

The point I was trying to make is that, even if women were raising boys to become servants of women, it's not even working. In the majority of two parent households, a father isn't the sole provider, the provider role is shared between both parents. And in single parent households, that single parent is more often a mother, and the mother is the provider. This all sets up children in general as seeing mothers as providers, because that's the example of motherhood most children get growing up. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:13 PM
24

Some women reward behavior that other women punish. Some men punish behavior that other men reward. Some people reward and punish behaviors consistently, others erratically. Men gravitate toward people they percieve to reward the behavior that they display. Women do the same. Some people are better than others at discerning who will reward their behavior and who wont. Whatever behaviors we had growing up that were rewarded are the ones that we continue to develop unless we conciously choose to a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:33 PM
–

Women are human. I care about personal connection and attraction. They got a crazy family, I know how to set boundaries. I need money, I know how to make it. I want a bond, and I want that bond to feel like family whether or not we have children. I don't want to be with someone who treats me with enough disreguard that I'm thinking about other options- I'd rather be single. I want a partner. I want someone who is resilient enough to face life with me without falling apart on me. I want someone w…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:28 PM
21

Most single parent households are mothers who work to provide for their children, and most two parent households are dual income with the mother also working to provide for her children. Sounds like the problem is men leaving raising the children to the women and not even fully providing for the children as their own contribution to the children. The majority of mothers are not stay at home mothers, and the majority of fathers are not sole providers. So even if women were raising men just to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:58 AM
–

Maybe they want muscle mommies?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:17 AM
3

What kind of person thinks about sexual orientation as a social signal and not just who you're attracted to? I've only heard of this when gay people are in a really conservative area and trying to blend in for safety purposes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:38 AM
1

The idea that someone deserves to get cancelled insinuates that they have or are doing something morally reprehensible and should not be given a platform on which they can influence other into morally reprehensible behavior. Speaking out about men's rights and issues does not necessitate morally reprehensible behavior, but it also does nothing to prevent morally reprehenisble behavior. It also does not mitigate such behavior that is unrelated to men's rights and issues. A person who speaks about…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 08:19 PM
1

If I'm already 100% bored, immediately. If I'm already 100% stressed, never. For me, the spectrum of 100% bored to 100% stressed directly correlates to the likelihood of me thinking about sex when seeing someone attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 07:46 PM
5

There have been countless books written about pro-social behavior, ettiquette, and manners. I'd recommend reading some, implementing what you learn, asking friends who actually see you and know you how you are doing, and using any constructive criticism to improve your behavior. If you don't have friends, I'd recommend starting with implementing pro-social behaviors reguarding developing friendships before romantic relationships so you can get useful criticism from real friends who observe your …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 07:04 PM
6

Idk I've seen men call these women "crazy cat ladies" if they don't find them attractive and "mentally ill/unstable" when they do find them attractive. I think most people are put off by people who whine online and don't feel sympathetic to them, from what I've seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 02:00 PM
2

Right. So basically, 1 man out of every 167. Good luck getting those other 166 men to care about something that has no effect on them. It's an issue that only affects men, but I doubt the majority of men would consider it a "men's issue" anymore than Klinefelter Syndrome and those other y-chomosome disorders. And I doubt women will consider it a "men's issue" if most men don't. Just like Turner Syndrome isn't a "woman's issue", but an issue that only effects women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 01:40 PM
2

I think the answers to that question would very greatly depending on the personality and wants of the woman being approached. I've known women who grew up sheltered who feel creeped out by cold approaches but not by light stalking for some reason. I've had friends who were really outgoing and realitively unworried and would only end up dating guys who cold-approached them. I've had friends who were really shy and would freak out if a guy cold-approached them just because they weren't prepared fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 02:40 AM
1

Normal guys frequently have girlfriends or partners, and toxic guys frequently spend time single. People who are willing to put themselves out there and meet people and ask them out are less likely to be singke reguardless of character than people who are shy or withdrawn socially. Maybe in your circles, the toxic guys tend to be some of the most social guys that are willing to risk rejection, and the normal guys are less social and less willing to take risks socially idk
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 01:45 PM
8

It just means the sex was good.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 01:35 PM
6

If it's only 0.6% of men then is not an issue even the vast majority of men have or would care about. I don't think it happens to men frequently enough to constitute an issue men are highly concerned about for their own sakes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 01:33 PM
–

As in the standards that women commonly have? Like, the things that women generally want? There are standards so common that there are more women that have them than women who don't. We typically refer to those as shared standards. Did you think we meant that they were objective instead of commonly held? I think that there are some pretty common standards for men as well. Idk what you are talking about lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 04:58 AM
–

I don't see what any of that has to do with thinking that a standard is an objective measure instead of a non-negotiable want. Are you picking up on the non-negotiable part and think they mean it's some sort of objective fact?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 03:39 AM
–

Who is pretending that standards are objective measures and not descriptions of our non-negotiable wants?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 02:11 AM
–

Any standard that is above the general average expectation is a high standard. I did answer your question.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:17 PM
–

It's not literal
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:17 PM
–

High standards are standards that are above what the general expectations are. It's relative to the perceptions of societies and subcultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:13 PM
–

What we are talking about is women being dissatisfied with their partners and their relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:11 PM
–

They aren't getting burned by their standards. They're getting burned by the "garbage level men."
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:09 PM
–

I don't think women with high standards would be willing to be with someone who spoke to them like that, so having high standards would help rule out those people.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:07 PM
–

That's the male perception of what's happening. The women with high standards are not the ones getting burnt. The women with low standards are the ones touching the stove over and over and getting burnt.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:51 PM
–

You're conflating not being happy all the time with being consistently disatisfied with your partner to the point that you are thoroughly bored with the relationship itself. Those are two very different states of being.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:49 PM
–

I mean, yes they do. Just like you get to judge them for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:46 PM
3

I don't think it's necessarily specific things. I think whether or not the particular skill or talent is something that can be noticed, and not something you were made to do are more important than the specificity of the skill or talent.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:18 AM
12

Having the competence and passion to develop a skill or talent is inherantly attractive to people who want a competent partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:48 AM
4

I have never known a straight women that finds the idea of consensual sex with a man they find attractive disgusting. Like actually never. I've never known a bisexual woman that views consensual sex with a man they find attractive disgusting either.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 03:12 AM
3

So people who complain or aren't satisfied need to somehow change what they want in order for what? To find something they didn't want anyway?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 05:20 PM
3

Too picky or superficial according to what measure? Who am I to tell someone what they do and don't want?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 04:55 AM
2

I like content about women's fashion. I participate in those comment sections. There are always men trolling and mocking the bodies of the women in the videos. Not many though. Most of the comment section is just women talking about fashion. So yes, there are men that invade spaces like that to simply insult.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 12:40 AM
1

Not everyone comes across rampant hatred of specifically mens bodies. Mens bodies have almost nothing to do with the content I gravitate towards online.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 06:20 PM
0

That's how I felt about OP talking about women mostly insulting men's bodies. I guess I participate in very different spaces on the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 06:17 PM
1

Maybe I'm just seeing the results of the mods cleaning up then.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 06:15 PM
1

Just skimmed the first 20 posts, didn't see a direct insult from one commenter to another, and the criticizms I found about men were all either character issues or social issues. I'm not saying hatred for men isn't there, but I'd have to dig to find it if it is. Which was the point I was making eariler. I don't come across women insulting men's bodies. I also don't go looking for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 06:02 PM
1

TWC means Texas Workforce Commission to me. What does it mean to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 05:47 PM
0

If you think that was the motivation, then you have some major gaps in your education of history and politics.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 05:22 PM
1

Yeah, it's pretty weird. I guess different sides of the internet are just extremely different from one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:56 PM
-3

There's a pretty big difference between pretending everything is fine and not combing through comment sections looking for various insults.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 08:16 AM
-3

This is the first time I'm seeing "manlet". I mean, fair. I don't go looking for insults about myself or others.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 07:14 AM
-1

Algorithms are real, but I have almost exclusively seen women insult men by attacking their intelligence, lack of empathy for others, or lack of social etiquette. Sometimes fairly, sometimes unfairly. I have also seen men insult women's physically looks almost exclusively, with the honorable mentions of "slut", "whore", and "hoe", which I could understand someone thinking of as attacking character or physical attributes. I agree with the progression of points 1-3 I think. I just don't see the re…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 03:38 AM
0

Yes, I do have empathy for men and their experiences. I ususally don't take the time to listen to men outside of my family and friends because I lack the resources like time and bandwidth, not the empathy. It's not that I don't care about the well being of men or issues that they experience, it's that my struggles and the struggles of my loved one already take everything I have to offer.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 02:52 AM
1

It just occured to me how ironic this comment is, because you have said a number of things to me in this conversation that meet the criteria of verbal abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 11:19 PM
1

Ah yes more slander. What evidence do you have in these comments that I emotionally abuse people? I have not insulted you or mocked you, and I have encouraged you to seek help from a professional for the mental illness that you say you have reguardless of what others think or say about you. I will accept the nonchalant portion. That's accurate. People who are provoked by calm, nonchalant people online that they could easily block are not the victims of conversation. If you are provoked by people…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 10:37 PM
1

After rereading through our multiple threads here, I would like to point some things out to you for your sake. I have not once mocked you or your body in this entire conversation, and yet you not only have accused me of doing so, but you have also mocked me for expecting others to treat me with dignity and respect, twisted and misrepresented my words to make yourself the victim of my thoughts and opinions, attacked my character, and accused me of having a mental health disorder baselessly, and w…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 09:35 PM
6

What do you feel like men need to do to self regulate, and why do you think, currently, many men are capable of self regulating reguardless of what women have done over the past 50 years? The majority of the men I know can self regulate just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:56 PM
1

Experiences aren't invalid reguardless of whether or not the person is projecting. A lot of people struggle with projection. It is an incredibly common struggle. They important thing is that, it shouldn't matter if random lay people care about you. You should take care of yourself reguardless. You should enjoy your life reguardless, and not let their lack of concern, or your perception of their lack of concern ruin things for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:50 PM
1

I do not owe anyone actions of compassion becausr they are mentally ill. I would never stand in someone's way were they to seek professional help. I'm not a mental health profession. I can't do anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:48 PM
2

It is disrespectful and manipulative to tell another person what they actually think, how they feel, and what they mean, as if you are correcting their own knowledge of their thoughts, feelings, and meanings, when they have already told you what they think, how they feel, and what they mean. Most people do not know how serious of a mental disorder body dismorphia is. If they did, they would heavily encouage anyone who is struggling with it to seek professional help, because it is difficult and n…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:46 PM
2

Everyone will prove your point in your eyes if you decide what they think, feel, and mean before they say a word. Projection will ruin your life if you let it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:38 PM
2

I do know what I did. I referenced something you brought into the conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:37 PM
1

There's a pretty big difference between "disreguarding them like nothing" and not respecting someone desire to for you to listen if they have been overtly disrespectful to you already.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:37 PM
3

Not having respect for people who disrespect you is a common trait and not NPD. It also has nothing to do with grandiosity, which it how one sees themselves not how one sees others. I don't lack empathy. I lack the willingness to provide room to disrespectful people to use me to express their feelings to. If people treat me with respect, I give them all the time and space they want to express themselves. You talked about how men used to celebrate small dicks by making statues of men with small d…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:35 PM
2

If that's how you read what I said, even after you went on a monologue about how men used to celebrate dicks that were small, (which is what I was refering to, obviously, when I said you should celebrate small dicks if you want to), then you might be looking for hatred and finding it everywhere you go. I have never refered to you dick size this whole time, and you are convinced that I have. That's projection, and you can't get away from what you project onto others.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:28 PM
2

You talked about men making statues of guys with small dicks like it was a beautiful thing- that's what I'm refering to. You're right I have no idea what your size is and I don't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:17 PM
1

Do you respect women who tell you how you feel when it contradicts how you've told them you feel? I would recommend not giving those people your time and energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:16 PM
0

You are asking women questions, and you expect them to answer questions without giving their perspectives. Also, please elaborate on the NPD diagnostic criteria you can tell that I meet from a few comments. We can document it for psychologists so they can diagnose people in 5 mintues instead of multiple sessions.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:15 PM
2

I didn't make myself out to be a victim. I'm not describing a crime committed against me. Dude, if you want to celebrate small dicks, just do it and stop obsessing over haters.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:13 PM
-1

I have compassion for people until they show a lack of it for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:10 PM
1

I can't speak for everyone, but when a man insists I care about something that I don't care about, I lose respect for him. If he decides for himself how I feel about anything, reguardless of what I say, then he doesn't respect me being open and vulnerable about how I actually feel, and I'm no longer interested in providing him with space to be open and vulnerable himself. So maybe what you are seeing is that some women don't care and get irritated when people insist that they do because another …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 04:54 PM
–

Trying to convince men I know to eat a balanced diet with enough vitamins, minerals, and fiber is like screaming into a void for me. The women I know eat so well and clean.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 04:49 PM
11

Pretty sure TRP has the sole purpose of defending the pride of men who never learned how to emotionally regulate themselves like the rest of us. All of the problems I've heard them bring up start with the inability of a man to self-regulate. If it's centered around these men and their problems, it's not going to make sense to anyone else, besides women who simp for these men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 04:45 PM
3

If it makes you feel better, I've not yet noticed a coorelation between that behavioral pattern and bad character. Some of the best people I've known have that behavioral pattern. I think it's more just an aspect of personality than anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 08:32 PM
4

You know now that you've got me thinking about it, I don't think I've met someone who prided themselves on "telling it like it is" that wasn't particularly passive agressive. Weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 08:17 PM
11

As someone who is naturally very direct in communication, I can tell you that anyone (man or woman) who insists they prefer direct communication is going to end up being the most offended by it. What they actually want is to know exactly what is going on at all times so they feel in control, and they feel like people directly communicating with them would improve that. It doesn't occur to them that someone could communicate directly with them without giving them more control, and when it happens…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 04:13 PM
8

Being sexualized and flirted with is fun. Being stared at the way a cannibal would stare at a "meal" when they haven't eaten in a week is not fun. Being briefly once-overed and warmly complimented is fun. Being repeatedly and angrily asked for sex in various ways by someone you've rejected multiple times isn't fun. Being asked for sex and still treated like a human being whether you say yes or no is fun. Someone making implicit rape jokes about you as a means of flirting isn't fun. Someone flirt…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 03:50 PM
–

See what I said about intersex variations. I didn't say the only variable is genitalia. I didn't say that variations that lean male or female are male or female either. If you want to know what I said, then you have to read what I said instead of add your own twist to it. Otherwise, you're going to misread what I said. If life dealt you some rare cards, and you want to fit in or blend in, you've got some work cut out for you. It's not fair. Most things aren't. But that's how people are, so that'…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 03:27 PM
3

Yeah, same concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 11:22 AM
1

I was refering to the pervious commenter's point about massacres. Generally, I hear the word massacre in reference to mass shootings.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 11:21 AM
1

In my experience, friendships meet my needs better than shorter dating relationships, but my marriage has met my needs better than my friends over time. I think what makes some ltrs/marriages different from friendships is the type of growth over time. If both people are choosing to prioritize the relationship over time, then the bond shifts into a very loyal companionship. You can also grow apart- it's up to both of you together to have a sucessful relationship. You might not need a good ltr or …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 03:28 AM
5

Dang, I thought bad boys were guys who take unnecessary risks for fun. 🙃
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 02:06 AM
–

Idk dude. I think some people really enjoy being hateful, and you can get away with it online. Being hateful is like a vice for some people. Some people legitimately get addicted to saying hateful things like others do with smoking or drinking. There's probably a portion of women who have dated hot assholes as well. "Stop worrying about you hair and just be nice" sounds like something a girl would say to a frat boy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 01:46 AM
3

Having been in rooms of exclusively people with ADHD (besides myself), I can confirm that neurodivergent people are fully capable of being super annoyed with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 01:32 AM
–

Yeah, a lot of people online are hella mean. I doubt they are trying to provide solid advice out of the goodness of their hearts based on how the comments are worded. I'm not saying they aren't being mean. I'm saying that they are probably being mean and not attemtping to genuinely give advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 01:28 AM
–

I'm pretty sure most of those comments were jabs and insults, not advice. 😬 Most of those comments said looks aren't the only thing that matters, not that looks don't matter at all. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 01:13 AM
2

Yeah, it just looks like it's meant to follow "queer studies", but I couldn't find any comments or posts indicating you were trans, so I think you do, in fact, have those things hidden and that the assumption was made off of the flag. Unless they just assumed based off of your pro-trans comments 🤷‍♀️. Who knows.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 12:47 AM
2

My guess is the trans flag in your profile bio.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 12:35 AM
11

I like my female and male friends for most of the same reasons. I typically don't have to filter myself quite as much with men in order to get along, which is nice. But, yeah, friendship wise, my reasons for liking my male friends are almost exactly the same. I've only been with men, so I have nothing to compare them to sexually/romantically.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 12:12 AM
–

Like damn 😂 I grew up being berated about how no one will want me unless I'm physically attractive. Gotta wear clothes that are flattering, but not slutty. Have to wear makeup, but not too much. Need to be fit, but not too muscular or too skinny. I was happy to find out that people actually care about personailty and stuff like that once I actually started dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 11:42 PM
–

Oh gotcha.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 11:18 PM
-3

Like men killing men vs. men killing women and children? I've only really heard the phrase used in really traditional church potlucks growing up. Like "women and children go first, then men". But it would be the men in charge saying it, but the men are always in charge in those social groups, so idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 11:16 PM
14

There have been self-labelled incels that publically say misogynistic things frequently enough to over time to where when a women hears the word "incel", it's common for her to think "misogynist" at this point, because our brains navigate the world around us heavily through associations formed over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 11:10 PM
–

I still haven't heard or seen someone say "looks don't matter". The closest I've seen is "looks aren't the only thing that matters". Are there influential people who say this, or is it random people who lack any sort of credibility? Where is it being perpetuated?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 11:03 PM
3

What is the context that you find misandristic? The phrase "women and children" alone has no implications other than naming groups. Eg "women and children are worth more than men." means the opposite of "Women and children are worth less than men."
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 10:59 PM
5

How could someone ignoring you and rejecting you make you feel less lonely?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 08:51 PM
7

Why would anyone be willing to wait around for a single person to maybe like them someday when there are literal billions of people in the world?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 08:07 PM
1

Knowing you're ignoring the commonly held definition of "nice guy" makes it easier to understand the points you're making. I didn't make that agruement. I also don't think some men physically abusing women means that some women don't emotionally abuse men. The point I was making is that, if your "boundaries" don't protect you from manipulation and abuse, then they aren't actually functioning as boundaries. Both men and women are responsible for developing and implementing their own boundaries. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 07:45 PM
1

Yeah, that's how I see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 07:13 PM
3

I wonder how much this differs among subcultures. In the social groups I've been in, ability to empathize seems to be highly personality determined. I've known just as many, if not more, women who struggle with empathizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 06:40 PM
6

Relateable. I've always prefered guys closer to my own height.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 06:33 PM
4

Because some rp people say hateful things about women, and some people believe that if a group allows hateful people to participate, all the people in the group are hateful.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 06:06 PM
–

Unless you can find actual scientific studies that have been done according to the scientific method and that have been repeated with the same or similar results, there is no reliable statistical data on the topic yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 05:29 PM
–

This particular guy would say mean shit he didn't even feel was true, and felt bad about it after, so for him it was more than expressing how he felt. He was saying cruel things he didn't actually mean when he was frustrated. Basically he just had a temper and would "punch" with words instead of fists. He figured out how to catch himself before hurling unnecessary insults- didn't take him long.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 04:46 PM
–

When I was younger, I didn't have very many trustworthy people in my life. So when I built enough trust in guy to be vulnerable, it hurt so bad if the safety and trust wasn't terribly important to him. Once I developed some trustworthy non sexual/romantic relationships, it made a lot more sense to me why it was easy for them to move on from me. I think the whole reason I would get obsessed is because I couldn't figure out, at the time, why the bond mattered so much to me but not to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 04:20 PM
1

"Nice guys" are fake nice to get what they want. Good men are good people. Covert narcessists, male or female, play the victim to manipulate people. Idk what you mean by "from the outside, what looks like women being mistreated by men..." because women outwardly look like they are mistreated by men is bruises and such in my mind. And I know you not trying to say that women who are hit by their male partners are covert narcissists. Again, "nice guys" are not good men. They pretend to be good men …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 04:08 PM
–

Objectively, idk. But they were to me. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 03:55 PM
0

If you have male genitalia, you're male. If you have female genitalia, you're female. If you have a type of intersex variation, then you have a type of intersex variation, most of which lean more towards male or female instead of being perfectly between. How you choose to act will affect how people percieve you, but it won't alter who you are. If you want to fit in, conform to the common expectations of the sex you look the most like. If you don't care about fitting in, then do whatever you want…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 03:52 PM
3

I have also experienced this, though not from many people.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 03:40 PM
2

I think no pill thinks the pills are dumb and purple think both red and blue make some decent point and some dumb points.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 03:26 PM
2

I think what you're refering to is willingness to empathize, and what I'm refering to is capability of empathizing. In my experience women are more frequently willing to engage in empathy with each other and their loved ones, but are not more capable of empathy. The people I've personally known who are the most capable of empathy have been either veterans or have chosen to make painful sacrifices for loved ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 03:17 PM
–

Idk. Women don't generally think the way I talk is flirty, and men generally do. I never figured out why before I gave up trying. I just try to be aware that I'm interpreted as flirty. My husband says that, in his experience, women pay a lot more attention to other women and less to men in social situations, and I don't avoid talking to men anymore than other women, so it comes across different. And when women come across different, it is usually flirty, so I come across flirty by proxy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 03:12 PM
–

He's been married for years now, so I think he was fine with simply developing a little more self-control over his words when he was upset.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 03:01 PM
–

Apparently. Apparently the way I talk to people is (not overtly or sexually) flirty. It doesn't bother my husband- he thinks its funny. I don't intentionally flirt (my intentional flirting is overt) with other people at all and would not. Neither of us have any interest is clubbing, but neither of us worry about the other drinking without the other. The rule is you can't drink too much to where you can't text the other for a ride home.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 06:31 AM
2

My threshold for a long term partner was that he had to make enough to where he could carry us financially for a year by himself in the event that I got pregnant and had complications that made it to where I couldn't work. Money has never compensated for a lack of physical attraction for me personally. I think people with excess money have the opportunity to get more out of their looks, but that's the closest I can think to money having compensated for lack of attraction
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 06:24 AM
17

I'm probably closer to just no pill in general. Both sides make decent points, but my personal experience is that men and women aren't super different once you're one on one with them and honest and kind towards them. In my experience, the way people behave has mostly to do with their character, personality, and who raised them, and a lot less to do with their sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 05:59 AM
26

"Men struggle to empathize." or "Women are better at empathizing than men." That has not been my experience at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 05:32 AM
–

Yeah. The way its been for me in good relationships is: life is stressful = bare minimum, whoever happens to be less stressed goes a little above and beyond, and that helps with trading off whoever is more stressed. So going above the bare minimum becomes a means by which to reduce stress for each other and give each other breaks basically. And the in less stressful times, it just becomes kind of a trading of giving "extra" in small ways to be sweet or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 05:25 AM
–

It was lifestyle in those instances. The situation I remember best was one where the girl ended up asked the guy to help with the cooking and cleaning so they both had more free time and she had more energy for sex, and he happily did 50% of the chores from that point on. He was totally fine with having a 50/50 lifestyle, but she had assumed he expected her to do all the cooking and cleaning because they were both raised like that. And he had assumed that she didn't want him messing up her chore…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 05:21 AM
–

If the bare minimum isn't good enough, then is it actually the bare minimum? lol People are just using a trendy phrase instead of saying what they really mean. The way I talk about it is- as long as my partner does the bare minimum, I won't have anything to be upset about. If you want more than the bare minimum, you should start by offering more and then ask.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 05:17 AM
–

That's fair. Personally, I've rarely heard people (men or women) criticize bare minimum behavior unless they felt as if their partner expected more than they gave. I think people get stuck on the phrase and fail to say what they really mean when they feel unheard. My guess is that women criticizing bare minimum behavoir are doing so because, deep down, they feel as if they have to meet a higher expectation to be loved and it hurts. Or they are just parroting things they hear to fit in. People do…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 05:06 AM
–

Neither per say. I am a firm believer in saying "thank you" to your partner every chance you get, not because you "should", but because it's incredibly difusing when life gets stressful. I think if you are giving only the bare minimum, and you demand more than the bare minimum from your partner, that it's fair for them to say you're demanding something you're not offering in return. I don't think the bare minimum behavior itself should be criticized, but demanding more that you're giving is crit…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 04:54 AM
–

I think the "bare minimum" is determined by the type of relationship. In a loving, committed, long term, exclusive relationship: -stay within the spectrum of what is attractive for your partner (everyone is different, so what "be attractive" means differs couple to couple) -be a listening ear. be emotionally supportive (eg empathetic, patient, kind etc) -help them when they are sick or injured -discuss before making big changes or decisions -be forthcoming about finances (if finances are shared …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 04:45 AM
–

I had an classmate once who could not for the life of him get a date. He was intelligent, average looks, and a good person. Whenever he got upset, he would get incredibly rude and occassionally say cruel things. Nothing crazy, just things that should stay inside thoughts if you want to get along with people. When he wasn't upset, he was genuinely kind and helpful. I knew girls who would develop crushes on him, but once they saw what he acted like when he got upset, they would swerve. When he ask…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 04:15 AM
1

I know what you mean. The problem is you think and/or are acting as if I'm saying things that I'm not saying. If I was actually saying the things you're acting like I'm saying, then your responses would make sense. But I'm not and they don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 05:56 PM
3

As a woman, I see it as my responsibility to communicate with my partner how I expect to be treated. If he ignores me because another woman let him treat her different, and I still choose to stay, that's me betraying myself, not that other woman betraying me. If I tell a man that he needs to treat me with respect or I'll leave, and then he treats me badly and I don't leave, then I've betrayed myself, reguardless of why he doesn't treat me with respect. If a man can't recognize that two different…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 02:34 PM
1

I don't think the concept is invalid, but if someone chooses to stay in a relationship in which they are required to do all of the emotional labor, then I don't want to listen to them complain about it as if it's being done to them. The argument that has been made to me is that being alone is intolerable, therefore emotional labor must be shared. But that's not how life works for everyone- that's how those individuals feel about their own lives. The concept is valid, but the responsibility of fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 04:12 AM
1

I'm not saying you weren't or that there aren't. I've never expected guys or anyone else to read my mind, nor did I mention anything about that. What I mentioned is other people expecting me to know things they don't and that I also didn't know. and I never said anything about me looking grown or not. I have no idea what you are trying to respond to, but it isn't anything I actually said.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 12:38 AM
1

I've never met a 15 year old that looked like a grown adult. Not saying they don't exist, that just hasn't been part of my experience. Most of the people I've know either looked their age or way younger than they actually are. When I was younger, I didn't enjoy being a mentor in dating relationships or otherwise because I felt like I was trying to figure out everything for myself and had nothing to teach. It also was common for people my age to expect me to know more than I did, but I don't know…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 08:23 PM
-1

If they feared men's reactions out of insecurity, yes I would (and have). If they feared men's reactions because they felt physically in danger, no I wouldn't. If you don't see how you mocked women in the paragraph I quoted, and you can't handle a joke being made about your hyperbolic mocking of women in general, then I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you should ignore me instead for your own sake.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 09:01 PM
-2

If had a dime for every time a woman said how uncomfortable it makes her feel when men approach them, and say that men should be aware of how uncomfortable their presence makes women feel. Only for the same woman to call a man paranoid, socially awkward, or a "closeted" creep" for not wanting to interact with women due to not wanting to come off as creepy to women. I would be a trillionaire. OP, if you've interacted with women ten trillion times and you still haven't figured this stuff out, you …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:37 PM
8

No insecurity is a dealbreaker unto itself. It's how the guy handles his insecurities that matters. If my husband asks for validation- that's good and healthy. If he starts scream crying at me because it took me 30secs to finish a text before I put my phone down to listen to him- not good, not healthy. Obviously that example is extreme. But yeah, the behavior is the dealbreaker, not the insecurity itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 07:06 PM
6

Women know. They do not care if you have sex or not. They are living their lives- they don't care if random men get laid at all. Why the hell would they? That's insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:41 PM
1

Dude, I never said women don't want to be pursued at all. I was addressing the resentment of rejected men. An external pressure to conform to society influences or internal desire to avoid punishment (eg prison). You cannot be externally pressured into doing something you don't want to do unless there is a threat you desire to avoid. If the root of your desire to be accepted by women is so that yoy can have sex with them, you're just following an internal desire. If you're trying to get accepted…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:08 AM
1

Women do not want to be pursued by any men, just the ones they are interested in. That's the whole issue behind men being resentful towards women for rejecting them- women aren't interested in their pursuits. I agree with your second point, except that the pressure comes from men wanting to be accepted by women, not women going out and demanding things from men who are just minding their own buisness. That pressure to be accepted by women is an internal drive, not an external pressure. If I want…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:37 AM
1

How is there pressure on men to pursue women from women if the women don't want to be pursued by the men? I am getting genuinely confused by the thought process here. Is the pressure from the women, or is the pressure from men wanting something from women?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:25 AM
0

It's just because people think of "traditional" as good instead of neutral. It's not necessarily bad, but it's not this big beautiful part of society either. But anyway, my point is, a lot of women would trade being "chased" by guys they are interested in to avoid being "chased" by guys they aren't interested in, even if that meant they had to pursue the guys they were interested in themselves. But there's nothing we (women) can really do about that. We could say no to every guy and pursue guys …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 02:50 AM
1

Women slut shame each other out of jealousy. Men mock men they are jealous of, or afraid to be seen like. Women want men they are not interested in to leave them alone already. Men are the ones that perpetuate "the chase", egg each other on, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 02:34 AM
6

Isn't a large portion of that societal pressure directed at men coming from other men?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 02:19 AM
9

I'm cool with women being the ones to pursue relationships and men leaving them alone otherwise. Do you think the men who are passed over would not be resentful simply because other men were being being pursued by women? I fail to see the solution to men being resentful here.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 02:12 AM
-1

Weird place to proselytize, OP smh...
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 11:39 PM
6

In practice though, it just makes them judgy as hell looking for imperfections to pick out because they think it will inevitably spiral into abuse or something. Idk what the solution is but expecting everyone to be a finished product to be worth your time isn't natural. I thought the whole point of "It's not your job to fix anyone" is that people are expected to take responsibility for their choices and actions and face their own consequences instead of just being entitled to toleration?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 10:20 PM
1

I have driven and picked up both male and female friends to/from the airport. I have gone with both male and female friends to the emergency room and doctors appointments when they needed someone. I have given both male and female friends money when they needed help. I have helped both male and female friends work on their cars. I have lent both male and female friends my car. I have given both male and female friends rides to and from work and school. I have cooked and cleaned for both male and…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 05:06 PM
3

Maybe I'm remembering learning about compounding correlations and statistical probability then. Thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 04:01 PM
4

I thought statistics show that being raised by a relatively absent single mother, below the poverty line, with evidence of neglect in the home was the indicator of future criminal behavior? It's been awhile since I studied this stuff- but I could've sworn it was the lack of supervision and met needs (like enough food) that indicated future juvenile criminal behavior, not a single mother household specifically. I'm more familiar with the correlation between child abuse resulting in criminal behav…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 03:10 PM
1

As far as raw attraction goes- even when I was younger, like 18/19, I was typically more attracted to guys who ended up being 25+. I think there's and element of men looking fully grown up. Younger men sometimes look waaaay younger than they actually are. For me personally, I have a pretty strong/grounded personality. When I was in the dating pool, If the guy was my age or younger, he typically acted kinda like a duckling following me around. But as long as he was about 2 years older or more, it…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 02:59 PM
17

Maybe that's a solution, but not the solution. I personally needed to get to know people in friendship before my brain would ever think about them in a romantic way. Even my now husband and I were friends before dating. Our earliest conversation once about dating is that, until things got serious, we wanted to handle the dating relationship in such a way to where, if we didn't want to continue, we could still be friends. Even when we have had difficult times in our marriage, we have always been …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 02:42 PM
1

Yes, duh. You described a woman that became more attractive in her 30s- of course a woman that became more attractive in her 30s would be more attractive in her 30s. You answered your own question.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 04:48 AM
1

My marriage is closest to the 2nd one, but I take the lead more often than just in "times of crisis". His personality is very "take action" and mine is very "observe and plan". We are both pretty assertive- I'm more assertive, but also more calm/less picky, he's a tad less assertive, but much more intense/more particular. When things are going well, I do a lot of the planning and preparing, and he does a lot of the actual decision making and deligating. So I make the plan for what needs to happe…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 04:20 AM
19

I don't think personality is a good indicator of preditorial behavior. Unless you consider "anti-social" and introversion to be the same, introversion is harmless in and of itself. True anti-social behavior is correlated with criminal behavior. I'd argue that ASPD isn't true personality though. And it's not inherently introverted. True awkwardness is typically a sign of authenticity, or at least it's not a sign of deception. Crossing boundaries is not "awkward", but it is often referred to as su…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 02:40 AM
10

The men who say this stuff on this sub do not give an eff about women whatsoever lol. It doesn't have to make sense for women, or even other men, just them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 12:23 AM
4

I never said all women feel the same way I do. OP referred to women in general. Some women with guy friends act like what OP is describing, but it's not inherent to being a women with guy friends. Also this is a debate post. I was challenging the perspective of OP. That's how debate posts work.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 11:55 PM
3

"I feel like I was taught to be an arrogent prick, but all I ever wanted was to be close to people and have friends and relationships that were meaningful." -my brother You can figure it out as an adult, it's just exhausting, and comes with embarassment and apologizing. Practicing patience, empathy, and listening seems to have been key for him so far. He was already kind, but a huge people pleaser- it always seems like he's trying to figure out if he's being selfish or selfless in his motivation…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 10:52 PM
2

Dude that sucks. I'm sorry. One of my brothers has a similar issue and a lot of what we end up talking about is the guilt he feels over not being better than other people because he felt like he had to be. And then he also feels guilty for ever thinking he was better, even though he was told point blank by our parents that he was. He's really smart, but he's also just a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 10:32 PM
1

I never said that
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 08:33 PM
3

It is making me genuinely a bit sad that that is the only option you can envision being true. Part of why I've had "so many friends" is because some of them have passed, for example. I've lost two friends to cults. They cut out everyone and disappeared. I'm sorry that your experiences have taught you to feel the way you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 08:31 PM
3

Men can be men and be asexual. If it's an actually platonic relationship, the asexuality or sexuality wouldn't matter because there would be no sexual engagement.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 08:14 PM
3

Yes- I have genuinely loved each of my friends. I have had plenty of aquaintences, I know the difference between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 08:12 PM
2

Again, a lot of projection and assuption. Just because a group of people enjoys hanging out together doesn't mean the relationships are shallow. Just because there isn't enough time in the day to keep up with friends that live far away or are very busy day to day doesn't mean the friendship was shallow. It's not like they're gone forever. You catch up when possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 08:05 PM
3

Ugh immediate heart drop.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 08:02 PM
6

I mean, that makes sense. Platonic relationships don't involve sex, so it makes sense that a platonic friend would not engage with you in a sexual way at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 08:01 PM
3

That's a lot of assumption and projection, my guy. I have had many guys friends- not all at the same time. People move away, you move away, you change jobs, your coworkers quit, you make friends in one class at university, and you barely see those people after that semester because life is busy etc etc. You meet new people, you make new friends etc etc. About half of the guys I've been friends with were gay. Most of the friends I've had hang out in groups, not one on one. I've been in groups of …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 07:57 PM
6

I try to keep up with current stuff related to men and dating because I have 3 younger brothers who come to me with problems and questions, and I want to know what kind of things they are hearing and learning in the world around them. This sub helps a lot with that. It's the primary reason I'm here honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:35 PM
3

Definitely. It kinda heartbreaking to watch tbh. It's influenced me to be really active in listening to and talking with my younger siblings.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:16 PM
6

Fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:11 PM
2

I'm not sure to be honest. I know the "correct" answer is parents and grandparents, or legal guardians I guess. I learned the most from my grandfathers. I mostly learned what not to do from my parents. But I genuinely felt and still feel responsible to teach my younger siblings as much as I can- adulthood is effing difficult and I love them. But I literally had older friends, both guys and girls, try to teach me shit so I didn't make the same mistakes they did. I have no idea how you could teach…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:06 PM
5

I've had plenty of gay guy friends and never thought of them as girls, idk. I think it's the people you're around and not women in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:32 PM
50

I have had many guy friends throughout my life and not once have I thought of a single one of them as "one of the girls". The guys I never would have dated were not "one of the girls" in my mind. I just viewed them platonically. I think you're conflating platonic friend with feminine friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:09 PM
15

Together for 6 years married for 5. A lot of both the men and women here largely sound very hurt/betrayed and/or like no one taught them anything they were supposed to be taught about relationships growing up. It's like they are navigating concepts and dynamics that have been around for forever as if they are novel and blindsiding. It's strange to me- I don't come from a healthy, loving family, but they still taught me enough for me to have healthy relationships in adulthood. I spend most of my …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:02 PM
1

Assault me, or try to assault me (physically and/or sexually). It was a long time ago- I don't remember most of the details anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 03:38 PM
2

I always told my brothers that you can give your whole self to someone- if you can trust them. Trust is key. If you give yourself to someone you can't trust, they'll hand you back something so damaged you won't recognize it. But if you build trust first, you can have love. I think kids need to hear that more as they grow up before they get into the dating world.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 03:14 PM
3

Power is ugly when used in destructive ways, and beautiful when used in constructive ways, reguardleas of who wields it. It's like fire. I think it's always been that way. Someone always has more power- it often shifts back and forth. It's only a "power struggle" when one or both people are using their power in a harmful way. Otherwise it shifts back and forth between to trusting people and creates a partnership.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 03:07 PM
1

For what it's worth, the only time I've been in danger in the company of a guy was random stanger "beta males". I know there isn't one look for all bad guys, but, in my experience, the more desparate/sexless the guy, the more boundaries they try to cross.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 02:57 PM
15

My grandma used to say you shouldn't have sex (as a woman) unless you've been given a marriage certificate or money 🙃
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 02:52 PM
5

I think it's only an issue if the porn being consumed is the illegal kind, or if the guy develops an addiction (bad for his own health and well being). Other than that, I've never cared at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 03:18 AM
1

There are probably plenty of women who are like that. There are also probably plenty of women who are straight up hypergamous. There are also plenty of women who pick aweful men. I think there's too much variety in behaviors for one stance on these things to be overall true. They are all true for some and false for others.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:27 PM
1

I think that hypergamy and assortive mating are just two different ways of describing the same thing. Neither of them are perfect descriptions, because they are describing the behavior patterns of individuals. People are picky about stuff. Women are picky about men. Different women are picky about men in different ways. Everyone is picky about things until they are "begars" for it. That's kinda just being human.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:19 PM
3

Misogynistic, probably not. Wimpy and lame, definitely. If you are so scared of conflict that you can't have a conversation with someone who might get upset, that's a you problem. Everyone can get upset. Now if you're tracking you partner's cycle to remember to be nicer yourself 🤷‍♀️ I tell my husband and best friend when I'm on my period because it's the only time I get emotional enough to cry without a tragedy, and if they don't know I'm on my period they'll have a mini panic attack and think …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:10 PM
–

It's okay to feel upset about anything. The feelings let you know what needs to change. The unwillingness to actually make the changes is what I think people debate over. Some people are way more driven to create a life they want than others. The driven people can't comprehend the less or undriven people and vise versa. No one taught me anything about being attractive or developing relationships as a woman. In fact, they tried to convince me to hate myself/think of myself as disgusting and that …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:57 PM
2

I'm gonna have to go reread The Invisible Man now because I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since I first saw your comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 06:18 AM
1

I really want to be a mom, and (if my husband and I broke up) I don't think I'd have what it takes to date a single parent. I think I would need to be a parent myself before I felt comfortable being a step-parent. Dating someone divorced with kids sounds challenging. I don't know how I'd feel if the wife/mother had passed- that would honestly be more intimidating. I don't think single people avoud dating single parents out of meaness. It probably just sounds incredibly stressful.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 02:44 AM
3

This yes. I'm not great at articulating it, but one of the key things about my husband that set him apart from other men in my eyes is that, though he is a guy's guy, I never had to ask him to be careful or gentle towards me- he just was. And he was only 25 when I met him. He didn't condescend or anything, he just was notably gentler towards me than he was towards other men, or even just his baseline existence when working on projects or whatnot. He kind of aggressive otherwise, and he has been …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 08:27 PM
1

It's weird because, while I'm not grateful for the 'worst and most dangerous' men I knew, the older I get, the more it's seems that learning that dicotomy young was a gift in it's own way. It really simplified my life in a unique way. I like you're parents perspective. Healthy and practical.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 03:43 PM
3

That's interesting to me because I have chosen very different things and developed very different boundaries from both my friends and family. My family is very... anti-sexuality. My friends have mostly been sexually active to very sexually active. I grew up believing that sex was good, but could cause a lot of long term problems if you weren't cautions, but no one really taught me that? My family was trying to indoctrinate me, and my friends were constantly trying to talk me into living like the…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 01:53 PM
1

That's interesting- I've known very few (unmarried) guys who worry much about the possibility of someone they sleep with getting pregnant. They've mostly been pretty respectful about that concern in me or other women though, which I appreciate. I only have one female friend that has been as careful with sex as me, but even my most sexually active friends had their own boundaries that they basically felt the same way about.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 05:08 AM
–

Fair enough. That's similar to how I have been, but for me it has less to do with what I was taught and instead how I think about people. Also I see the relationship between responsibility and n count a little differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 04:58 AM
–

Do those of you who truly care about a potential partner's n count care about the n count itself, or the things you associate with a high or low n count, or both?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 11:27 PM
7

I agree with you OP, so I don't have much to add to the conversation except to say that I admire your general empathy and compassion.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 11:06 PM
16

The thing that make's me want to have sex is sex drive. That's pretty much it. If my sex drive gets messed up (it's always non-existent when I'm sick, for example) nothing can make me want to have sex. When my sex drive is high, I don't need help wanting to have sex, but things can keep my from wanting to. Before I started dating my husband, my fear of pregnancy kept me from having sex. Literally my fear of getting pregnant was greater than my desire for sex. Since I initially started dating my …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 10:29 PM
2

In irl, the women I know and am close to have varying beliefs. We confront each other peacefully, in private, if we feel the need to. Generally, what actually happens is one will ask another to explain their views more clearly, and instead of 'confronting', ask really challenging questions. The women I know irl and am not close to I can only get along with if we happen to agree. If they disagree with me on something, I've learned to keep my mouth shut and get away before they get nasty and start…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 04:24 PM
1

I think what you're talking about is a disproportional desire for companionship? My best guess as to what you are seeing is a result of women having deeper bonds with each other platonically than men do with each other platonically. My husband feels that desire for companionship deeply, and I think atm I'm the only person in his life that feels like a companion in anyway, which is a first since the beginning of our relationship. His closest friends have been far away and busy for awhile, and I'v…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 01:03 AM
1

I've only time I've ever insulted a man like that is when I yell, "Sorry bout your dick bro!" at a vehicle from inside my own vehicle with the windows up. I told a friend of mine to quit thinking with his dick once, but I don't think that counts either. I've had a few friends that would say stuff like that to guys. In my experience, the more emotionally volatile the friend, the more likely they were to hurl insults of any kind, including that one.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 12:23 AM
2

I don't remember- all I remember is that I thought it sounded aweful personally. Not my thing. Not all women are disturbed by the themes of porn- the ones I've know who have told me that do not like smutty stuff either unless it's, like, hallmark esque.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 11:37 PM
1

Dude, I don't know why I'm different. I have caught a partner watching porn before and was really sad, but I only cared that he lied when I asked him if he watched porn. I just really wanted to be able to believe his word, and felt like I couldn't since he blatantly lied. It had nothing to do with the actual porn. It's something I've talked about with other women a lot. I think it's easier for them to process that stuff with me that other friends, because I don't get upset with them and just ask…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 11:33 PM
2

I think that's fair. What matters is whether or not you and your partner are faithful to each other in the terms and boundaries of your own relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 11:26 PM
3

I personally think that people can love and hate the same person, so yes. The love doesn't excuse the abuse, and the abuse doesn't erase the love. I think that's why abusive relationships hurt so bad. Edit: An abusive father that provides for his children because he wants them to have what they need, specifically. Cognitive dissonance is very real.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 11:20 PM
2

I think it depends on what the content of the porn is, and whether or not it's taking away time and sex from the relationship. Reading smut is normally something that makes women more 'in the mood' to have sex. Porn often replaces having sex for men in relationships (as far as I have been told by the men and women I have known). I think the themes of porn probably bother women the most. So much of it is predatorial if not abuse fantasy. I think the idea of their partner watching this scares/dist…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 11:17 PM
5

I think loving someone is wanting them to have what they need to be happy/content in life, and wanting to contribute/contributing to them getting what they need. It can look really different in different circumstances, but I think that's what is comes down to.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 10:06 PM
1

I don't mean this in a mean way, but I can hardly imagine feeling love in an opportunistic way, and I feel like the concept is just false. I think women can choose to pursue a relationship with a man they do not truely love out of a spirit of opportunism, and eventually develop love for that man or not. But love itself is not selfish. Attraction and infatuation are appetites, but love isn't. Your description of love is an antithisis of love.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 09:31 PM
1

Overt sexual solicitation from a stranger is kinda terrifying at best imo. Overt sexual solicitation from a trusted partner is hot imo. I think the context matters. I like the way my husband overtly "flirts" with me. If he had started talking to me like that when we first met, it would have scared the shit outta me. I didn't know him yet. Maybe male sexuality is only as offensive as it is potentially threatening? idk
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 09:15 PM
2

Wouldn't it only suck for the men who don't enjoy making the first move? I haven't dated anyone who didn't genuinely enjoy being the "pursuer"- I don't think all men are disappointed by this.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 08:52 PM
3

Fair enough. Idk, it seems like a lot of the fun of flirting is face to face interaction. It's a lot more fun to see how a person responds in real time than to just see more words on a screen (at least for me). I wonder how that affects the levels of enthusiasm for women when it comes to flirting, because is sounds really boring to me in comparison. The whole reason I avoided online dating was because it sounded so boring. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 08:22 PM
3

Back when I was dating, I would flirt with a guy I liked until he asked me on a date. I wasn't afraid to ask myself, I just had a lot of fun with the flirty phase before actually dating. I never used dating apps though, or anything online. 🤷‍♀️ I don't know if that counts as a subtle first move or not, but each of the guys I ended up dating knew I'd say yes by the time they asked me out. Is it possible that online dating/dating apps takes the fun out of it to an extent and makes it more transact…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 07:50 PM
1

I never had a bad one to begin with. That one guy would just go back and forth on whether or not he was also attracted to women. Like one day he said he was bi, the next, he was only attracted to guys. Seemed like he needed some space to figure that out. I didn't want to be an experiment. People are attracted to who they are attracted to. I only ever cared about who a person is attracted to when I've been attracted to them. And even then, I only really cared whether or not they were attracted to…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 01:32 PM
4

I the only time I can recall a bi man being a hard pass for me was a guy who couldn't seem to decided if he was gay or bi and it was confusing. It seemed like something I didn't want him to figure out through a relationship with me, if that makes sense. That was before I realized I was also bi. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 05:31 AM
5

TLDR: "Prioritize compatability when looking for a long term partner if you want a relationship that will last." But make it over complicated. In all seriousness, OP, neither men nor women have much of a chance at a successful relationship unless they prioritize compatibility. It doesn't have much, if anything, to do with the gender of the person seeking a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 10:06 PM
4

"If they wanted to, they would." <- generally a good mentality First example the people were a couple in a committed relationship and one lied to another. <- Betrayal of a committment. Second example the people weren't even a couple and one turned out to be rude af. <- No committment to betray. I feel like these two things are not comparable. On a different note, I think it is foolish to expect loyalty from someone who is not committed to you reguardless of how much you like them. You're just se…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 04:37 PM
1

Is this supposed to be a hypothetical? I've known plenty of good men and they are all married or in ltrs now.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 04:25 PM
3

Idk g, that has nothing to do with what I was saying. I was just shedding light on the actually reason it's easier for men to orgasm from penatrative sex in contrast to what OP said.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 02:17 PM
3

Too many men hit the right spots for men to believe this, come on. The clitoris wraps around the vaginal canal. If he doesn't feel good, it's because he didn't stoke the fire first. Exactly. Penatrative sex does not directly contact the clitoris. It stimulates it indirectly through the vaginal wall. For men, their simulatory tissue is directly contact with the vaginal tissue. It's easier on average for men to orgasm from penatrative sex because there is literally more direct stimulation for them…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 02:11 PM
4

I've never heard a woman say this irl. Only online and on tv. 90% of women irl seems steep. Men are actually more likely to orgasm because their tissue that experiences sexual pleasure is directly involved in penetrative sex, while women's is indirectly involved. Penatrative sex does not necessarily stimulate that tissue for women. I fail to see how it's unfair unless the man is asking what the woman wants and if things feel good and the woman refuses to answer the man's questions. Again, I have…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 01:48 PM
2

It is one of the many frustrations of being a self-aware animal. Instinct vs cognition. Be angry (just don't hurt people or yourself), keep asking questions, and don't give up. Life if difficult and nuanced and challenging. But the people who don't give up get to learn a lot more than the people who do.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 05:33 AM
1

It gets better as time moves on. The trickiest part for me personally was learning how to be angry about it without allowing it to become bitterness and resentment. For my husband, it was learning that men's desires aren't inherantly predatorial- they can become that way, but because of a willingness/desire to harm, not because of maleness. It looks different for different people, but it always takes time. You should be proud that you have developed the courage to question what you were taught b…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 05:29 AM
2

For me, the more interchangeable the roles are the better. Traditional is totally fine, but I want things set up in such a way that we can switch gears into the opposite if something happens. I prefer a partnership where we continuously work together to make sure we have what we need in life, and are able to shift and change as life shifts and changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 05:12 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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