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tortllaa Archive

View 4 posts and 81 comments by tortllaa on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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188

I’m not opposed to a cold approach bc, like you, I’m against OLD and not interested in dating coworkers. A cold approach can be respectful. I don’t agree that someone cold approaching would only mean the person approaching sees themselves potentially sleeping w me. If a man approached me about a book I was reading while I was in a cafe/at a park etc I would be 1) flattered that he thought I looked interesting and 2) intrigued in whatever he had to say. As long as the cold approach is respectful …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/22 09:06 PM
6

FDS podcast, actual feminism podcast I’m also a big fan of educational pods like TedRadioHour and HiddenBrain
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 06:47 PM
52

To echo what another user has already suggested, therapy (EMDR) has been really helpful for me in processing my sexual assault. I don’t talk to my friends or family about what happened to me, but my therapist is the one person I can trust not to judge me. Plus, professionals hear this kind of thing all the time and are trained to help!! I’m dipping my toes into the dating game for the first time in my adult life. I’ve found myself getting excessively anxious pre-date because I’m so worried about…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 05:06 AM
31

Yes I loved her on the podcast! She has quite a few debates and interviews on youtube. I loved her book because her writing is easy to digest even when the content is disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 08:11 PM
166

Pedophilia is the final frontier of the pornography industry. For anyone who hasn’t read Pornland by Gail Dines or Not A Moral Issue by Katherine MacKinnon, this is your sign to do so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:32 PM
147

I think they’re referring to us?? /s seriously though, I understand people saying that sex won’t make or break a relationship, but it WILL trick women into thinking they’re in a relationship while men think they’re just having no strings sex. This advice is terrible and would definitely lead to pain and uncomfortable situation for girls and young women :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 07:00 PM
52

a HVW doesn't attempt to 'change' the men she's dating; she accepts that the way this man is NOW is the absolute best version of him. If this version is unsatisfactory, drop him. You'll only cause more trouble and heartbreak for yourself if you begin a relationship with a list of improvements for your partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 08:06 PM
11

Actually I think critiquing and shaming women for behaviors that don’t benefit women as a class can be a powerful tool in affecting change. And don’t we shame men and women on this sub all the time? We have flares for the pickmeshia hall of shame and call men scotes for not showering or cleaning their buttholes. Some women will be persuaded by our success stories, others will join us after one too many men fucks them over, but shame could be the key to getting the rest of the women on our side. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 06:49 PM
106

Choice feminism could be our downfall. Libfems have diluted the meaning of feminism to fit whatever it is they want to do. If a women chooses to do porn and she’s a feminist, then porn is feminist. If a women chooses to fuck men on the first date and she’s a feminist, then hookups and ONS are feminist. If a women is a housewife and she’s a feminist, then being a housewife is feminist. So when a woman is abused by the porn industry, used by men as a flashlight and discarded, or financially abused…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 07:22 AM
23

liberation is the freedom from oppression, so yes to everything you listed and so much more. true liberation requires a radical societal shift (and i mean the world society, not just in the west. women are not free until ALL women are free) in which all hierarchies are abolished. if one person is at the top of a hierarchy, it means many people are at the bottom, including women and POC. as someone else has said in the comments, liberation is not the same as female equality. equality to who? why …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 06:38 PM
34

I’m in my mid twenties and I interact with pick-me women EVERYWHERE. Luckily they reveal themselves early on bc the first topic of conversation they initiate is men they are “dating.” They’ll tell me Brad didn’t call her back, Kyle was talking to another woman, Jonah won’t do his own laundry etc. Sometimes it causes a problems for me but usually I just distance myself from them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 07:00 PM
128

Yes, I work evenings so people are always asking to go out after work. The first few times I went and was always disappointed. Most recently a female work friend asked me out for drink only to leave me with her roommate and a group of strange men while she met up with 'a guy she's dating' who wouldn't even come inside to pick her up. I was bored, uncomfortable, and wished I had just gone home instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 10:51 PM
158

sorry buddy, i have a 10pm curfew *blocked*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 10:38 PM
10

I’m in a very similar situation as you, moved to a new city, just graduated but in between jobs while I’m pursuing a passion project, not totally financially secure/confident w my living situation, and joined Bumble BFF as soon as I moved. I met up w a handful of women, most flaked before we could ever set up plans. I was lucky enough to meet a great woman and we’ve had so much fun together! She introduced me to the downtown area, told me about local businesses hiring and got me a job where she …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 07:23 PM
53

Agreed, however the enemy of my enemy is my friend. In Catherine MacKinnons “Not A Moral Issue” she writes about the conservative Christian/Radfem coalition against pornography. Even tho conservatives and radfems had VERY different reasons for wanting a ban on pornography, they were able to work together toward a common goal. I think the same applies in this instance 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 11:07 PM
21

Live and learn! On to the next one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 05:54 AM
8

True. A HVM wouldn’t have to tell you he’s HV. You’d know based on his actions alone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 05:00 PM
30

My ex would tell me he was such a good guy/bf and cute examples of things he did for his ex girlfriend who 1. Wouldn’t have sex with him and 2. Broke up with him. He never did anything nice for me— never even paid when we went out OR asked me to go out anywhere. And I would think “what am I doing wrong? Why doesn’t he bring me flowers or coffee like he did for her?” At the end of the day, I think it was bc he just didn’t care about me. If he wanted to, he would. Same goes for any man. If he says…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 06:45 AM
46

The answer to this question is always “yes”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 03:38 AM
37

Having a nice wardrobe is all about the basics! By this I mean cardigans, sweaters, blue jeans, sneakers. Once you have these items, you can mix and match. One thing I like to do is buy in bulk. For example, I just bought like 5 different sweaters because I live in a colder area. Now every time I go out, I pick a sweater, pull on some jeans, and put my basic jewelry on. It’s like wearing a uniform. I feel comfortable and confident in what I’m wearing. I also know I look good. I like shopping at …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 12:32 AM
79

I just moved to a new city so I checked out OLD to peruse the market. Matched with a good looking guy and thought we might have some good banter. 5 messages about reality tv later and he sends a long af message about how he’s poly and his gf would love to meet me. Wut? Blocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 06:56 PM
78

The sad thing is that this article won’t do anything. The Barstool fan base thrives off conflict and worships Portnoy like a god. They’ll think he’s a king for forcing rough sex on young women bc they wish they could do the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 08:58 PM
2

A few years ago I bought a Groupon for laser hair removal. It was mildly painful, but bearable. I did 6 treatments and barely had public hair during that time. Now, maybe 4 years later, I still have pubic hair (though less and thinner than before) and I trim it occasionally. My body hair doesn’t bother me so I don’t do much apart from an occasional trim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 07:17 PM
52

Look up “Girls Lie Too” by Terri Clark. It was released in the 90s but still relevant to the modern dating struggle
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 02:38 AM
16

I do like rings. I also want a car (VW Thing)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 09:33 PM
3

Oh no lol. I’ll keep an eye out. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 01:32 AM
46

Has anyone had luck using the friends setting on Bumble? I’m moving to a new city soon and was hoping to try it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:05 AM
22

Yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 08:18 PM
105

I wrote an essay about Lilith and the depictions of women in Abrahamic religions. It’s crazy (but not surprising) how women are written about as possessions, bought and sold or traded, and ignored/unnamed/not counted or mentioned in lineage. Lilith is a badass bitch. She’s written as a warning to women about our behavior, but IMO she’s an inspiration 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 08:40 PM
54

I feel the same way! My fantasies are sex-based and in reality, being in a relationship would put a damper on my life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 07:16 PM
70

No lady I know wants to look at hairy balls while enjoying a margarita
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 10:54 PM
63

“You look like my ex” “Is she out of your league as well?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 07:59 PM
50

Same. Like what... she’s never been to his house in three years? Even if the kid lives with his mom she’s bound to leave a toy lying around
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 03:47 AM
62

the “compliment” comment was bonkers. Are we supposed to believe they masturbated to thoughts of her? Because I ... doubt it. And I think painting Katie and Blake as “sex positive” is an adoption of the lib fem mindset. I don’t think constantly talking about sex and making clay molds of your dick a great representation of sexual health lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 04:49 AM
48

Gets me every time 😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 11:00 PM
7

Yes, I would rather the commodification of women’s bodies not be an option. A women selling her body or “donating” eggs or being a surrogate because she desperately needs money does not solve the actual problem. Instead of putting band aids on problems like poverty, let’s focus on solving the root cause.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 01:05 AM
14

Exactly. And unlike blood/plasma donations, egg donations and surrogacy are solely demanded from women. Companies can advertise on college campuses (as someone in this thread mentioned, college students have large sums of debt to pay) or simply in lower income neighborhoods, like you mentioned
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 03:46 PM
61

Paying for sex is equally an acknowledgment for the likelihood those women do not want to be having sex with those men, and that she may experience physical and mental trauma as a result. Since she chose to sell her body, does that make this interaction okay? We on this sub have agreed that no, prostitution and pornography is not okay. Even if a surrogate or egg donor has consented to these actions, they are inherently exploitative. Women with money are not likely to donate their eggs or rent ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 06:48 AM
20

Exactly. This would be my response when asked such a question as “waaahh what about men :,(“ Men make the video games. Men buy the video games. If men don’t like the way they are depicted in video games, then design them differently! Don’t buy the game. Wtf do you want me to do about it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 09:57 PM
59

Men have it bad under patriarchal power structures? Men CONTROL those structures. If it displeases them, they have the power to change it. Women, however, have little to no power under patriarchal systems and therefore require acknowledgment/equity reparations/ etc whatever
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 08:05 PM
3

Carry pepper spray with you when you walk your dog... maybe call the police if you notice someone following you? As for the snapchatter, block him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:27 AM
41

I have had a similar experience. I was raped in high school while drinking with male friends I thought I could trust. (First time I realized men do not want to be your friends.) Years later I had sex for the first time and started crying and shaking bc it was traumatic in itself and also reminded me of my assault. The guy I was with (and dated for the next year) stopped, pressured me to explain my response, then had sex w me once the tears dried. He brought up my assault multiple times over the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 01:37 AM
93

I’ve had friendships end bc they started dating someone new and basically dropped me. If she isn’t prioritizing you, stop prioritizing her. Look for some HVW (they don’t have to be single; HVW can balance friendships and a romantic relationship), and go to cafes with them instead of this friend. If you’ve expressed how her actions have hurt you and she doesn’t even try to change, then I’d take a step back from the friendship
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 09:52 PM
16

Exactly. If exercising power via raping a sex worker becomes ‘acceptable’ then it is no longer a power play! Raping non sex workers is the way to express power
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 07:54 AM
208

The rest of us aren’t even free from the threat of rape anyway. This “argument” is stupid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 10:46 PM
36

This is a good question! I’ve dropped friends before (even prior to FDS for being pickmes/ indulging in on again off again relationships w LVM. I was sick of hearing the same complaints about dating but no change in behavior. I’d love to hear some strategies for helping women level up and planting the FDS seeds
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 01:12 AM
58

A guy once asked me what shows I liked and then very conveniently loved the same show as me! We watched an episode together and he started asking questions about the basic premise of the show.... I caught in immediately and wondered why you’d like about something so insignificant
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 04:10 AM
3

Seriously... and also neglecting the fact that women shave (more often and more commonly than men), go to the gym, and get more expensive haircuts!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 08:29 PM
68

Joe from YOU is calling and he wants his strategy book back. I say block this guy bc he’s fucking weird
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 05:59 AM
41

A bit cheesy, too on the nose, not sure why they made a romance a main plot point in a movie about women’s empowerment, and every woc was sidelined
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 04:11 AM
3

I’ve heard about this! I think rejecting marriage and dating is a fair response when men aren’t acting the way women need them to. Hopefully the movement encourages men to step up their game if they want a wife/family!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:28 PM
2

It’s not that the models are implemented necessarily, these are just observations of different power structures. I don’t know that the sub-Sarahan could, for instance, take place in the US bc women here demand monogamy (for the most part) and want the nuclear family structure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:27 PM
21

Male validation is intoxicating for the “modern woman!” For those of us who are aware, all we can do is condition ourselves not to take pride or find happiness in male validation. Maybe then we can influence other women to shift their mindsets as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 09:50 PM
1

When I started dating this guy he was living in his car! He had a stained twin mattress (no sheets) and empty fast foods bags. I introduced him to a family friend who was looking for renters. Then he had to audacity to ask me to pay part of his rent bc I stayed over "so often." Dude... I like seven minutes from here. I only came bc YOU INVITED ME. Men are clueless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 03:59 PM
44

Wow. Maybe we dated the same guy? Lol. I can relate to your experience with sex... my ex was the first person I had sex with and I started crying because I was so surprised when it happened! It was entirely unexpected, and then he ignored me for three days. You can imagine how I felt about that.... Anyway, I'm glad we BOTH realized we deserve better and moved on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 09:03 PM
405

as someone else has mentioned in the comments, this is a more extreme version of LVM changing the trajectory of your life. there are smaller, more inconspicuous ways LVM can derail your life plans. i have an LVM ex who exhibited every kind of red flag behavior, but i was young and excited about my first relationship. it was the little things building up over time that finally forced me to end things: coming over late at night after i was already in bed and waking me up, playing video games and s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 05:14 PM
9

Try looking back in your family history. Like another commenter here, I’m changing my name to my great grandmothers maiden name. My LV father sucks, but my family is full of amazing women (on my moms side, of course)!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:54 PM
11

I mean... having subs for your only fans is a form of male-validation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:10 PM
12

a patriarchal bargain does not work when the material basis (money) for the patriarchy doesn't exist! women literally cannot stay at home and care for the house/children when her income is required to pay for said house. there is no benefit for women in the patriarchy, so why participate? ill have my own job, my own house and a man is not necessary
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 06:41 PM
80

Even while dating my ex I acknowledged he was ugly. I was so obsessed w having my first bf and being in a relationship I would’ve accepted anyone 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 01:12 AM
13

you offer some great points here and i haven't seen them discussed anywhere else
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:37 AM
2

I am not a parent, but one of my college professors introduced me to feminist thought and often talks about how her and her husband are raising their children (2 girls). As she is a professor, education is a priority in her life and in her children's lives. Since they were young she has introduced them to powerful women through books like the Uppity Women series and other women authors (Woolf, Atwood, Agatha Christie) so they can absorb the ideas of independence, success, power etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:35 PM
3

so bold (and true) of you to say
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 07:18 AM
8

"oh sorry, i forgot my wallet at home" lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 12:31 AM
28

I know what you mean! Think of it this way: they are paying for the opportunity to meet you, as a thank you for taking the time from your day to sit down with them and potentially risking your safety in meeting with a stranger. You wouldn't go to work for free, would you? Your time is valuable and you do not need to spend it with them, so they are (literally) repaying you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 12:31 AM
21

This is also my technique: remembering he doesn’t care about you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 06:27 AM
29

Did I write this?? My first (and only) relationship was w a stoner and he was addicted to nicotine. He “couldn’t afford” to take me on dates, but spent hundreds every month on weed. How does that add up? Lol I’m glad for you (and me!) that we made it out while we still have our youth and sanity!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 08:52 PM
24

My LV ex didn’t get me anything for Christmas under the guise of getting me something nice over his family vacation to Dubai. When he came back a month later he dropped a beaded bracelet into my hand and proudly confessed he stole it from a mall in Dubai.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 12:25 AM
13

I had been talking to a guy who lived across the street from me for a couple weeks. We had sex and the very next day his girlfriend from back home came to visit him 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 07:29 AM
6

justin biebers new single
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 05:48 AM
49

I wouldn't want a drive-in movie to be a first date, or even a date with someone I wasn't already exclusive with, but I'd be happy if someone I was dating planned a drive-in date. It's fun, lets me know my partner thinks about me and wants to spend quality time w me, and it's still casual enough that we can wear comfortable clothes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 06:37 PM
6

weed and puff bars
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 06:26 PM
51

i've only faked it once, and it was so he would stop trying! lol somehow men dont understand jackhammering their dick in you is not as successful a method as, oh I dont know, touching your clit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 01:25 AM
71

He literally thought he could trade her body and wellbeing for his safety. What kind of twisted “women are my property” logic is that?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 07:55 PM
10

I'm so proud of you for coming to this realization, but you still seem to be missing a main FDS lesson: BLOCK HIM. It's great you recognize this guy as a heartbreaker and you know he's been jerking you around, but why do you keep letting him? You have so much going for yourself, dont let him continue trashing your life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 04:12 AM
8

the same ex cheated on me too! and I still didnt break up with him! Looking back, I am astonished at my own behavior and what I was willing to put up with for the sake of "love." Newsflash: someone who loves and values you won't cheat on you! we both deserve so much more <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 03:59 AM
55

reminds me of my one year anniversary with my ex: his planned date was ME buying us burritos and eating on the beach before going to watch a movie. before we went to the theatre he wanted to go home to smoke. 30 minutes later hes playing video games and we missed the movie. I didn't have the courage to break up with him for another 6 months kudos to this queen for knowing her worth and not letting her bf's disrespect slide!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:08 PM
21

it's about being able to walk away. I just recently came to the same realization! Only by accepting the possibility of letting someone go are you able to acknowledge when you deserve better! Being a queen means being comfortable alone, bringing everything you need to the table on your own, and walking away when a relationship doesn't serve you anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:10 AM
1

I totally relate to what you said about preferring friendships based on commonality! I've had so many work or school friends who I enjoy seeing in those settings, but have no interest in having a closer relationship with. Even this particular friend at times seemed like someone I hung out with due to proximity and convenience rather than true desire to be around one another. I also enjoy spending time alone and have often said I don't see the point in being friends with X, Y or Z. Sometimes thou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 05:30 AM
3

FDS has definitely helped me raise my standards for the people I keep around me. With friendships (and romantic relationships!) it's really easy to forgive a person's faults when they exhibit so many positive attributes. Luckily for me, I won't be around my friend for awhile since school is online and I've decided to spend this time at home instead of near campus. Good luck to you in your own friendship-distancing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:19 PM
1

for the record I am not seriously using OLD, it’s just something we do for funsies on girls nights
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 04:56 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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