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trailhopper999 Archive

View 1 post and 41 comments by trailhopper999 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

trailhopper999/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 02:35 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

I was the only one surprised by the split. She had villianized me for a long time prior to friends and her family. They chose her narrative and to believe her lies. One of our couple friends called her on it, and I'm still in touch with them. The other couples that "didn't want to choose sides" were not helpful. Her family had bottomless resources and paid lawyers' bills. Narcicism seems genetic. I'm far better off without any of them.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 02:59 PM
4

It was important to me that she filed. Her narrative was that I was the one who wanted out. It disrupted her reverse discard. In the end I got taken to the cleaners, but even after that, I’m in better financial conditions than I’ve ever been.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 02:27 AM
5

This forum recommended “gray rocking”. From there, I realized behaviors related to “cluster B personalities”. It wasn’t easy, but it worked over time. At least it forced her to completely fabricate her narrative as opposed to twisting meanings and words that I said in response to her abuse. I can only control my reactions, not her behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 04:54 PM
4

Not my problem. But her sister pays her legal fees, so the arguments are tempered by how much the lawyer charges and her sister tolerates.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 12:28 AM
4

I turned off notifications from her. I only respond to texts from her that involve parenting. I respond to everything else via email and cc her lawyer. And her name is listed as EVIL. And my kids are not likely to see this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 11:44 PM
4

I could write a wall of text with the story, but I won’t. She started with the I need a break, I want this to be amicable, and I’m not trying to rip you off. $20k in legal fees, three mediators, two lawyers, pro se, 27 months, court hearings, and failed collaborative divorce later, I finally reached agreement this week. She got 75% of marital assets (in a 50/50 state) and half my net pay for the next 10 years. Definitely not amicable. SAHM and part time yoga teacher sounded like fun. Now it’s th…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 07:58 PM
13

While I couldn’t predict my future, I believed those that told me it would get better. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 02:25 AM
6

I’m finally near the end of a 26 month divorce, I’m here every day. I haven’t shared my whole story, as we’ve heard it before and I fear that I’m being stalked and can mess the process up. Know that I feel like we were all married to the same narcissist. Even the legal advice thread tipped to the dark side this week with the cackle chorus. I enjoy downvoting them out. Keep on keepin on brothers. As someone said, it’s the only place I haven’t been gaslit.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 05:10 AM
1

Court will not likely teach her anything except an additional method of torture. Dirty Tricks will only embolden her to go lower. Embrace the fact that she will behave the best when she’s trying to impress whatever it is she’s dating this week. If she was teachable, perhaps you wouldn’t be divorcing. Hang in there. There’s good advice in this group.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 06:42 PM
1

Look up Cluster B personalities immediately. Narcissists, antisocials, and Borderline Personality Disorder are part of this. I only discovered this topic when the divorce started. How I wish I knew this earlier. And for me, the second stage of recovery was to realize that most of these behaviors were 100% my mother, and I wanted to be like my father.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 12:23 AM
1

I did all of the above. It didn’t work. I didn’t divorce the facade I married. They were two different people.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 02:21 AM
1

If you are wondering, it’s definitely a full “you go girl” echo/cackle chorus
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 12:17 AM
8

I get your situation. I was there. I’m finally seeing the end of it, more than two years later. I was naive enough to believe the truth would prevail in court. It didn’t. I found hope with a pile of narcissist books from the library and narctok TikTok hashtags. A book called the power of now. My friends helped, though few understood. Therapists that I met after a suicide attempt helped. I wasn’t hurt physically. My kids are discovering the truth. It’s difficult for them too. I’m playing the long…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 08:51 AM
2

Hide cash starting yesterday. An extra 50 or 200 at grocery purchase is virtually untraceable. Auto deduct from paychecks to a savings account and withdraw cash on a regular basis. Safe deposit box. You will need it someday, trust me. Know that you’ll pay at some point. The fcking you’ll get for the fucking you got.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 01:26 AM
2

It’s not a death, it’s a birth. It took me a while to erase those images, didn’t take her long at all. I finally hit delete when I realized how fake she was. Whenever I get lonely or anxious, it helps me calm down when I say “this is what peace feels like”. I decided I would rather feel lonely and anxious occasionally rather than feeling like I was walking on eggshells all the time. You’ll be better off. You’ll get through this.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 08:54 PM
29

Sorry man. My ex was looking to introduce her next victim within two months of separation. It took me a while to accept that it started well before the split. It may make the divorce easier, as she’s behaving for the new supply. Hang in there. You didn’t lose her, you just lost your turn. Don’t make the same mistakes she has. Take your time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 01:44 AM
2

Am I you? Similar story. Sorry to hear this, please take care of yourself. I expected that the truth would prevail in court, and I am bitterly disappointed. When I rehired my second lawyer to sign over all my assets to end the torture, she told me that she probably could not have done any better. This situation is all too common, and nothing I can solve for myself. Truly a shame.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 01:32 PM
1

I’m hoping to get to the point you are at. Great explanation.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 03:46 PM
4

Sounds like narcissistic projection. She’s accusing you of what she is guilty of.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 04:39 PM
2

I found the random drop-offs of photos and junk to an attempt to elicit a response. I finally responded with “do not drop off any additional items unless I ask for them. Thanks”. This left it open in the unlikely event I decide I want something bad enough to fight for it. It’s like they are all the same person.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 04:11 PM
3

It just doesn’t matter. Move on. There is no saving this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 09:44 PM
2

Let us not forget; trump and his senate changed the Alimony rules to eliminate the payer’s ability to deduct alimony ( so it’s paid with after tax income) and for the receiver not to pay income tax on it. Surprising due to his divorce experience
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 02:49 AM
11

Borderline is the key word here. BPD or NPD.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 10:16 AM
5

“I need space”=I have been inconvenienced for the last 6 months because I’ve had to hide my conversations and communications with my lawyer, boyfriends, and the cackle chorus-“You go girl”
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 03:42 PM
15

https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1684036895/ref=asc_df_1684036895/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=560440526833&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=9604926151564734672&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9057239&hvtargid=pla-972519336607&psc=1
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 01:18 PM
3

I owe my life to a suicide hotline. Call one immediately. I was in a really rough spot too. They helped.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 01:03 AM
1

Sold it for scrap value to the shop I bought both of ours from. I used the cash to pay for my first tattoo to celebrate being single
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 02:12 AM
1

The waves of grief will subside. I’m 18 months in and they’re still there, but they’re smaller and further apart. When I’m lonely I realize that this is what peace feels like. It’s less intense now. Ship of fools, Grateful Dead. I lost 30 years.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 06:55 PM
8

How I wished I would have believed this was perfect advice 1.5 years ago. I know it now to be truth. Pay attention. This is no longer a relationship, it is the dissolution of a business partnership. Separate emotions from business deals.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 05:35 PM
5

Fatal Attraction
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 07:02 PM
3

Exercise, disconnect, concentrate on the kids. File sooner than later. Get an escape plan before you file. Get a lawyer It’s gonna be a rough ride for a while, but she probably did you a favor. You (underlined) need the therapist. Your marriage doesn’t need a therapist. I learned about narcissistic behaviors from you toob (Dr Ramani) and TikTok (narctok).
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 03:16 PM
1

I sold what was left of it for scrap and put the money towards a tattoo with a “single” theme. I had worn away about 25% of its original weight by wearing it doing all the work I did.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 08:06 PM
1

I read 10 titles and agree, this is the best
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 10:16 AM
1

Same. I’ve not heard of udemy. I’ll check that out.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 05:04 PM
1

It’s one of those sales ads on TikTok (narctok) and Facebook with “free advice” and webinars. Former judge, understands narcissist behavior. Goes by judge Anthony on FB and website. [judge Anthony](https://www.judgeanthony.com
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 03:43 PM
1

I’m not familiar with that term. I’m in US. Attorneys that I deal with are good at looking ahead. They don’t want you to hire them if you’ll reach a dead end.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 10:03 PM
2

Divorces are expensive. And worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 09:23 PM
1

Sold what was left of it to the jewelry store it came from 30 years prior (88% of original weight). It wore away working my fingers to the bone. Spent the payment on my first tattoo. I didn’t want to throw it anywhere someone would find it. It felt great to rid myself of that curse.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 09:33 PM
8

Same. There is solid advice here in the comments. Take the time, exercise, therapy, learn about narcissistic behavior, learn about yourself. I found it helpful to understand that I was grieving the potential of the relationship, which was futile.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 10:27 AM
6

Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. Spend some time on narctok or look up Dr. Ramani
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 12:00 PM
1

Learn about narcissism. Narktok is helpful, as is YouTube.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 10:57 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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