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trueanonymousperson Archive

View 6 posts and 225 comments by trueanonymousperson on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I think that there is one group of people victim-blaming you for the actions of dangerous men, and a completely different group of people who get offended that all men are treated as dangerous.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 05:36 AM
2

They are not the whole premise of the post is women break rules for specific men just because they are hot. I wanted to ask a specific question related to this, but didn't really want to assume the statement I quoted from you. Because whether attractive people are treated differently isn't universally agreed on in this sub. If women allow rules to be broken for specific men because they are hot, but then they find out something that makes him completely repulsive and not hot anymore, do they the…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 05:32 AM
2

Or, do women judge men’s behaviors differently when the relationship is going well versus when the relationship is going down the toilet? I personally suspect it’s the second scenario. Does this logic then apply to creeps as well as assholes? The best way to explain this question is a scenario: A man is friends with a woman. They talk, the topic of sex naturally comes up, they talk about sex, he asks some questions, she asks some questions, they are a bit flirty to each other, but nothing's real…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 06:03 AM
1

Yes, I have found people to be attractive until they exhibited unattractive behavior or learned more about them. Do you have different boundaries for attractive people and unattractive people?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 05:39 AM
2

I accept that, but does what I describe hold any water at all?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 04:02 AM
6

That's literally because so many guys just swipe right on every single person and filter later as a strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/21 05:50 AM
1

I just think marriage should not be "for ever and ever" but "up until our kids turn 18 and we can then re-evaluate". That way people who, through 18+ years of raising a child/children, find that they work together well can stay together, and people who find out they hate each other can leave, with no expectations either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 09:11 PM
1

Yup. And this is precisely the reason why a lot of things are getting so extreme now. I feel like you had to add the "I'm not a good example" bit just so you didn't get called out by some person here or something like that
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 09:03 PM
1

But on the other hand I think the negative effect height and wasted time especially have is quite low compared to what you can change.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 05:21 PM
1

Well, I am a woman. The worst I get is people catcalling or making dumb noises when I'm running or biking, and tbh I'm like 30 now so that's surely on the way out. See even that's practically unimaginable for quite a lot of men. I'm also very against the new dating trends of women trying to neuter and emasculate men and get enthusiastic consent for every fucking thing. I'm probably not a good example of women/my views are not representative of most women. That is a valid viewpoint, don't ever le…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 05:19 PM
1

Not really. I actively dislike homeless people because they are a problematic and possibly dangerous eyesore in the places where I work and recreate. Whereas incels or men with low dating success I wouldn't even notice in my daily life? Now a bit of a different perspective - if you were a woman and you constantly had to deal with people approaching you on the street etc, or you were witness to all of the hate incels spew up, you would probably feel the same way. I guess that was the comparison I…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 08:22 AM
1

Well, bringing this back to the topic of incels/men with very little dating success: Do you feel the same way about them? I think the analogy matches perfectly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 07:06 AM
1

Correlation does not necessarily mean causation. A large amount of geek culture people also have poor social skills/hygiene/things like that (which is the source of the stereotype) and so seeing those guys get rejected constantly, it's easy to assume that is the reason. When men act like women (eg. passive, gentle, speak with a higher voice, wear the color pink frequently, wear dresses or skirts, put on makeup, call their friends cute) their chances of finding partners of the opposite sex drops …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 06:18 AM
1

I think for the majority of people rejection isn't really a big deal (to me I personally don't care) but for quite a few, they really get bad reactions when getting rejected so they do everything they can to avoid it. I just see a lot of people complaining about mistaking friendliness for interest, it seems to me like doing this a lot means that one has poor social skills. being intentionally alone with you This is the one that I've received a lot, and always missed. Maybe she really just wants …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 06:14 AM
1

Yes but if you saw someone injured, or who needed help carrying their groceries, or something like that I assume some people would stop to help?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 06:09 AM
1

That's probably where I have to draw the line too. If someone genuinely wants to quit drugs they should get all the help they need to do so - however, people cannot effectively be forced to quit if they aren't willing to. In that case it's hard to get sympathy for them. Although the causes of their situations (addictions or otherwise) are often much, much more complex than we might initially think.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 06:08 AM
1

Weed and shrooms aren't really too big of a problem. Not worse than alcohol addiction (and we all know how prohibition went) Meth, cocaine, that sort of thing - need to be sorted out.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 12:07 AM
8

The big fallacy is then: I've received them, and every woman I know has received them, so the majority of men send them Or rephrased: The majority of (group A)/everyone i know in (group A) is a victim of (action) from (group B), which means the majority of (group B) are perpetrators of (action). I've seen this used in many other situations, it's a very common way to think, and that's where many "all men are scary/dangerous/creepy/want the same thing" or "all white people are like this" statement…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 11:18 PM
1

and also u/The_Meep_Lord I guess they are different depending on where you go. I live in a country where they aren't violent, they just ask passing people for change. Whether they are relatively passive, aggressive, content being homeless or desperately trying to get out of it I think the original statement still applies. The realization that nobody cares is probably why so many of them act up, get all in your face, start doing drugs, etc. They are in the depths of despair. To them, we are all i…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 11:03 PM
12

That thinking can be applied to quite a lot of situations too: Factory workers in third world countries "Terrorists" vs "Freedom fighters" Illegal immigrants seeking better lives In all of these situations, and especially the last two, They would rather call their struggles and their hurt reactions to their situations as moral failings rather than something that chance or circumstance has placed upon them. applies very strongly. I think people in general want to believe in a just world, and have…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 06:48 PM
1

Your post in general raises a lot of really good points. Its tough for a woman because she has to make a lot of sacrifices and difficult for say a short or disabled man because he will be looked on as weak. This is why certain cultures clash. One prefers safety and cleanliness but things are relatively boring, the other has stark inequality but can also be very exciting at the same time. This I suspect is why there is such a wide range of views in this sub - and why a lot of people cannot relate…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 09:27 PM
2

Finally someone said something about that particularly disgusting analogy regarding divorce, thank you so much. Don't get me wrong, I still find abuse of the divorce system (and some of the accompanying attitudes) to be pretty terrible - as is entering a relationship in bad faith knowing it will not last and abusing that as a shortcut to wealth. If anything it can be called "divorce robbery". I agree with everything else you put too, except many guys on this sub do constantly blame women who get…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 09:11 PM
2

Yup, and what I'm pointing out is that the OP is practically a gender reversal of that. And it's always women's fault for GOIng AfTeR Chaaaaad is a "nice guy" talking point and does not reflect reality, and neither does the OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 09:01 PM
1

if not at fault, extremely naive Yup, just like not having a front door for your house doesn't make you at fault if you get robbed, but extremely naive.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 08:59 PM
-1

Yeah well that opinion is wrong. Well let me clarify: There are things women can do to make abuse less likely (not marrying clearly abusive people - which is an opinion you may see here a lot) but that does not translate into blame. Abuse itself is never the victim's fault, and marrying a person who turns out to be abusive is also never the victim's fault. And the corresponding situation: There are things men can do to make being victim of the divorce system less likely (not marrying certain typ…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 02:07 PM
1

Would you enter a bad relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship? A casual or FWB relationship sure, but absolutely nothing more. It's selfish to expect exclusivity from someone who you know isn't right for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 12:29 PM
15

This seems like a gender reversal of the "girls don't want nice guys" argument that we see so often here, as well as quite a big generalization over what men actually want, It's also victim blaming. Imagine if we blamed women for marrying abusive men? When a divorce happens and in your example, the wife cheats and the husband loses the kids and half of the money: Men cannot be blamed for their wives cheating. There are things a man can do to make it less likely but this does not translate into b…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 12:27 PM
2

I'm curious now - do you identify with any of the "pills" or any subreddits?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 03:03 AM
2

I'm going to challenge that and say that FDS terminology such as HVM, LVM, scrotes, pickmes, is dehumanizing too. (I haven't seen you use them and I'm not even sure if you are part of FDS so I'm not calling you a hypocrite yet, but that is something to be aware of) Don't get me wrong, I don't really like the RP term SMV either. That goes in the box of RP words that people say when they want to feel better about themselves - with words like alpha, beta, cuck, etc. I'm not RP so outside of a discu…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 02:18 AM
1

I mean the concept of attractiveness/desirability or whatever is as old as time. The term itself isn't very nice (I think it's a RP in-group buzzword) but it's just a name to a concept imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 01:50 AM
2

Individual people complain about this behavior, and society in general rewards it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 10:08 PM
1

We live in the age of the internet, where it's possible to learn practically anything if you really, really want to - but it takes a lot of comfort zone pushing to do what one actually wants with the world. Not a lot of people have the heart to relentlessly try, try, try at something until they finally succeed; and not a lot of people have the heart to make the sacrifices necessary. Of course a large element of it is luck too. What opened my eyes to this was a story I read about someone from a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 10:04 PM
1

SMV I think is a bit of a sales analogy - with the men themselves as the product. When RP men speak about "improving SMV" they speak about making themselves higher value in the SMP, or "sexual marketplace" (another sales analogy) i.e. higher value to the opposite sex. In effect the SMP is an analogy to a marketplacce where man and woman are both product and customer at the same time. Where a man will want to sell (in sales terms - not physically sell) himself and choose a high value partner, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 03:48 PM
2

I mean ideally it's a win-win and both people find it fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 06:45 AM
6

What would be the difference from a female perspective, of what is a hint and what is just polite friendliness? Like what would you do, from your end, when dropping a hint that you wouldn't do if just being polite/friendly? What would an example of such a hint be, not like at a bar but when just chilling with friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 05:05 PM
1

According to some, you can add to the list indefinitely, to the point where they want "If the 'victim' said that the consensual sex is longer consensual, for any reason, it's no longer consensual and the circumstances don't even matter. It's 100% up to the person having the experience. Believewomen, believe the victim, etc. etc. etc. I like to think the majority of feminists aren't this extreme (the silent majority and all that) but this is slowly becoming more prevalent. It's already practicall…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 12:18 PM
0

I touched on this in a reply to another post - what might be "toxic masculinity" is the brainwashing of men throughout their youth that sex is the measure of success in life - through movies, music, social media, etc. That having sex with as many partners as possible means that you've made it in life. That if you don't, you are a loser. Now this is already a natural desire but it's amplified a lot by this social conditioning, to the point where it is pervasive. To men today, sex does not just fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 10:02 AM
2

Dear God no wonder the poor man was confused. That's practically the entire reason I made this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 04:46 PM
3

Do you think many women who would ordinarily view it as a dealbreaker would view it the way you describe - as something that can be overlooked under certain specific conditions? And would you view men in general who uses these services to be simply incompatible, or would you find it difficult to respect them? (Assuming trafficking definitely didn't happen - I see why that is a major concern)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 04:14 PM
4

Nothing morally wrong with prostitution and nothing against prostitutes. But I wouldn't date a guy who has been to one,. Similar to why some men won't date women who are high n or whatever. There's just a part of me that feels like if you were desperate enough to pay for sex then you're too desperate for me. If someone were to turn his or her life around and get to a point where he or she is clearly not desperate anymore, would it still be as big of an issue to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 03:47 PM
8

I think it's best not to make assumptions like that about strangers on the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 08:15 AM
1

Absolutely. The more they try, and the less success they receive, the worse they get, and therefore the more toxic they get It's a vicious cycle, and while I don't like those views at all (some are downright dangerous) it's easy to see where they come from. If society wasn't pushing getting laid so badly, the problems caused by incels would decrease quite a lot - they would be a lot less desperate in general, and that might actually improve their ability to get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 08:03 AM
5

I'm assuming this is what causes people to become incels. 25+ years of that would drive a lot of people insane. I do feel sorry for those people. They need guidance more than anything - it is a lot more difficult to learn this after a certain point in one's life. I presume they get more and more toxic views over time purely because of the lack of guidance.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 11:23 PM
7

Or the opposite: He is marking himself up on: Lack of emotional issues or baggage Abundance Emotional stability Other attractive personality traits
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 09:00 PM
2

Yes, and the reality is that the vast majority of rapists, and not just talking the “gray area” ones here, are not convicted because there is sadly insufficient evidence. And therefore it's understandable that people want to create a legal environment conducive to actually convicting more "actual" rapists/SA perpetrators. But there is no "everyone wins" scenario in this situation. I get that for people like you and myself (when not paranoid) and the majority of commenters on this post, we can ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 08:26 PM
1

"what was consensual and felt good last night is rape today because today I feel bad about it." I don't think it's gotten to this level, a lot of feminists would find this idea ridiculous as well. But if someone feels violated (whether through malicious intention or genuine miscommunication), the search for why the consent given was not valid begins. Many reasons for invalidating consent are valid. Not following agreed to conditions about: condoms (poking holes included), birth control, STD test…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 08:14 PM
2

Would you say that's a bad thing though?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 07:59 PM
1

Well, say you're extremely intoxicated, walking home from the city, and your female friend, who is making sure you get home safe, is both sober and a karate black belt. You get mugged by 2 people who are not armed. In this case it would be her obligation to protect you. It generally falls upon the man, all things being equal, but this is not necessarily the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 07:51 PM
2

I think most people know when their partner doesn’t really want the encounter to happen, and at this point everything needs to stop. The idea that you can get charged with rape because you didn’t ask for permission to touch her left breast or something is not realistic. I agree, that is unreasonable and asking like every single tiny step is a mood-killer. I know however that people exist who will see details like this and then think well, that's technically against the law, he's a criminal - I'm…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 07:47 PM
1

So men getting enthusiastic ongoing consent on Friday were supposed to know she was going to regret it on Saturday? lololol. This is why things for ACTUAL rape and assault victims are getting worse instead of better. I agree, it trivializes rape and sexual assault. Feminism wants lower-value men to be afraid of #metoo and simply opt out of the SMP. Imagine being at your rape trial and 12 women are trying to decide how creepy you are what your true SMV is and whether or not you even had a "right"…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 07:34 PM
1

Then, you have the "consenting housewife" who doesn't want to have sex, but is simply consenting to "get him off her back". Some call this "coercion and rape". Others call this "one of the joys of being married - and it's her choice whether or not she wants to engage in obligation sex." This is a tangent point but the solution to this is to not enter, or stay in, exclusive relationships with someone who has a dramatically different sex drive to you. This is something both sides can agree. If we …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 06:10 PM
15

Men want sex everywhere and with every woman, and women want less sexualization and sexual offers The funny thing is, I think a lot of the male desire for sex, and female desire to avoid too much sex is from social conditioning. Since men hit puberty it is extremely heavily pushed through: TV, movies, music, social media and their peer groups that the amount of sexual partners a man has is the yardstick of his success in life. So much so that it is practically brainwashing. So to a lot of men, s…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 05:31 PM
24

I think an understanding is needed from both genders for both genders. The trauma men face is not generally well understood by women, and it is pretty universal too. (that's not to say one gender has it worse than the other or anything like that) Is a big part of the reason men have problems in dating, sex and marriage, because "the vast majority of women" have unresolved sexual and emotional trauma that is causing or contributing to the problems? Unresolved trauma leads to communication problem…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 03:32 PM
6

Yes, of course, men have trauma too but I honestly think the average man can’t (or won’t) conceive of how prevalent, widespread, and intensely damaging the majority of women are treated at some point(s) in their lives, particularly sexually. I don't mean to say one gender has it worse than the other but male trauma is generally underestimated as well. I think there is a larger situation here - that both genders don't really understand each other's problems, or the severity of each other's proble…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 02:03 PM
0

People have a moral obligation to protect people, if they can reasonably do so. Because men are generally stronger, they have more ability to protect people than women in some situations, so it usually falls upon the men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 10:33 AM
1

The point is, the vast MINORITY of human sexual encounters feature this "continue and ongoing enthusiastic consent" That validates my theory then. I suppose the idea came from speaking only to trauma victims about their traumatic experiences (and some of them might have well been prevented by "continuous enthusiastic consent"), but whoever came up with it did not speak to everyone about normal sexual experiences as well. I call bullshit on this "need a yes every ten seconds" bullshit. I'm not th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 10:24 AM
2

This is going to sound pretentious but if there is one thing I know without any doubt, it is that I have a good heart. Man I am here for the entertainment value of the inane things people actually believe from both sides. Take anyone on here’s advice at face value including mine. What works for me and makes me feel good might be counter-intuitive to other people. Opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one. For the purposes of getting a litmus test on whether I'm taking reasonable precautions…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 05:40 PM
1

My only advice is be ok with the uncomfortable. Learning how to do these things is an uncomfortable process, but pretty important nonetheless. Learning how to socialize well whether with women or in general takes time and a process of trial and error. Learning things like being ok with rejection is vital because it is absolutely going to happen. I'm not afraid of rejection and I can absolutely take rejection gracefully. I should clarify - I am scared that I will "go with the flow" and escalate i…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 05:04 PM
1

I once had sex with a girl who would tell me to stop and then get pissed when I did. So your mileage will vary I know this happens and I don't like it at all. With people like that is it better to just get a safe word?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 04:57 PM
1

Because the crime is not that both people don't feel it's consensual, the crime is that person A did not gain consent from person B. Even if he or she liked it but didn't say anything. Our law is not that unreasonable, non-verbal is fine too.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 12:26 PM
1

I still just can't shake the feeling that, even though that concept is law now and it's pushed so heavily in society, the vast majority of people don't care for it and still have sex the way they used to, and nobody gets hurt, and both people feel that it's consensual, but it's still technically rape. And you know, buying weed from your dealer is a crime too, but people hate rapists and don't really care about weed customers. I want to have sex without worrying constantly if I'm breaking some la…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 12:16 PM
1

I'll take your word for it then. Thank you for talking me through that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 12:12 PM
1

I believe, although this does depend on your location, that legally as long as you stop anything immediately if she says no, then it is legal. Some universities may have implemented further rules while enrolled, like that you need to get a yes. "Yes means yes" or "Compliance (failure to say no) is not consent" appears to be to me a mainstream view in Western society, and has become law in a lot of countries including the one in which I live.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 12:09 PM
2

Yup, that's just as I imagined it then. Like that's how I used to run it before I got paranoid. Escalating slowly, paying attention, asking "is this okay" at a few points. Stopping and talking about it if she said no or seems uncomfortable or didn't want to progress further, and either chilling or calling it off entirely based on what was said. So if I do that, I have nothing to worry about? (And sorry for having you type all of that)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 11:55 AM
1

how much you care about if your partner is consenting I mean you have to care right? I don't see another option. I just don't want to technically commit a crime here. That's probably the biggest thing for me. (Besides not hurting the girl of course) An occasional guy says to “not ask anything”, which is certainly also a possible way to do it It's possible, but is it a good idea?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 11:40 AM
2

I just don't want to be caught out on technicalities, and I feel like watching for reactions isn't enough for some people. There are enough people out there who will see a story and say "but wait that was rape, he didn't explicitly ask for consent prior to doing this and that" and these people have gone from being fringe radical tumblr feminists to mainstream in the past few years. When you say slow escalation, what specifically do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 11:14 AM
2

As I suspected. And is this recent or like a few years ago? I feel like the amount of people who view anything less than a yes as non-consensual has increased a huge amount in the past few years.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 11:05 AM
1

With kissing I feel like it's not a big deal if you misread the situation so it's not like you have to ask for permission for that. I get that So you just go with the flow?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 11:01 AM
1

Are most of the girls you sleep with fine with all of this? (Not a personal attack)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 11:00 AM
1

I think there was a sketch on a talk show or something like that that parodied that whole conversation. So basically don't be a shit person, and pay attention to your partner? And don't assume consent for one thing is consent for everything? If you look at some of the other comments here, they say drastically different things. So I hope you can understand why I'm getting confused here
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 10:59 AM
2

That's the thing though. I do not want to participate in a crime that hurts people just because it's "normal" and the vast majority of it isn't reported. If relaxing my approach to consent from asking all of the time to relying on non-verbal cues leads to this, I would much rather stay careful. That said I don't like the idea of criminalizing normal sexual behavior. I can understand why you would call it borderline - well, he did something non-consensual and then he realized he fucked up and sto…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 10:57 AM
3

See this is a big difference of between what I see on some areas of reddit and what I hear in real life (and other areas of reddit) and this is why I get confused. Many people on reddit and a lot of mainstream commentators will say forcing someone's head down during a bj is rape. If someone were to ask a therapist or a SA support place they would say it was rape as well. And that denying that it's rape is this terrible thing that means you're a rape apologist. Whereas here it's described as "bor…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 09:55 AM
2

None taken. I'm not super experienced and the general opinion being pushed today is super against even the decent person way you run things without being obsessive. You know, "you HAVE to ask for consent at every step or you're a rapist". And then other (male and female) commenters saying that is weird and that kills the mood and people don't actually do that. For someone without a lot of experience it is confusing and scary. Not to mention the rampant misuse of the term today.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 09:46 AM
1

Well, the implication of "does that feel good" is that you are already starting to do something and are checking that it's ok. And I'm seeing in some places that because you already started to do something (and then are checking it's ok) that's already bad. I think it would be kind of odd to be like “Can I touch your arm now? And your hand now? Your hip?”. I don't know if it's just the paranoia speaking for me here but I do get the impression this might become reality at some point in the future…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 09:34 AM
1

Tldr, usually non-verbal is fine, but make sure you pay attention to your partner. Especially when certain dynamics are at play (Eg, age gaps, alcohol, physical power etc). If unsure check in. See I wonder if I should relax a bit more and just rely on non-verbal cues then. I'm so shit at reading people sometimes and the consequences of a mistake here are not great though. If someone does fuck up here and misread a non-verbal cue, do they get to course-correct ("oops sorry misread that") or is it…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 09:31 AM
2

That’s how I do things, but I don’t fuck around with boundaries or a no. See that's how I assume most decent people run things - they go with the flow and stop if they see somebody becoming uncomfortable or hear a no, and don't overly worry about the technicalities of consent law while having fun (and the other person is perfectly fine with it). I don't get how you can do this without worrying though? Like the law isn't on your side here, if the girl decides the experience violated her and it em…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 09:27 AM
1

What I mean by after the fact is right when one starts doing it. I assume that's how people usually escalate a situation on certain steps? Obviously not sex, but touching somewhere new for example like during foreplay. (Although to be clear I do ask beforehand)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 09:19 AM
1

See this is where the lines start blurring a bit. I've seen the view on some other subs that even if the other person is giving a non-verbal cue (kissing), trying something new and then asking if they like it after the fact can be bad because you didn't ask for consent beforehand. Please tell me this is crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 09:12 AM
5

That's how I imagine most encounters are then.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 09:08 AM
3

That's the reason I made this post, it feels unnatural being obsessive about it but I still do it. I wanted to see if social discussions on the topic actually reflected reality. I've always been careful not to hurt the person I'm with, but there's a certain amount of paranoia now which is driving me to be like 1000% careful. I'm not specifically worried about getting #metoo'd but it pays to be careful especially when there are a lot of people with extreme views on what is considered a crime, who…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 09:02 AM
1

Understood, I can see how it would be different there. I read a study or article (I believe related to the EAAA program, but I might be wrong) saying that high school kids (in one school in the US) were making fun of it too.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 08:57 AM
1

Is this verbal consent gained at every step including during foreplay, or only at certain points during the encounter? Like is there a too often to ask, are there things that are generally accepted that one doesn't ask for?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 08:47 AM
1

I get what you're saying. I usually don't see the same person more than a few times, so I don't have that intuition with the other person that you would have with your husband so I feel like I should be extra careful. Would you then say it's plausible that a lot of people, especially those in relationships, are attentive and caring, but don't generally explicitly ask or wait for cues but trust each other to communicate?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 08:43 AM
4

It's changed so much for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 08:36 AM
12

My next thread on this sub: "What is sex?"
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 08:29 AM
3

I agree but I'm not asking what a typical encounter should be, I'm asking what it currently is.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 08:27 AM
0

I suspect this is a question more suited for women. Let's just split men into a few totally unscientific groups: Men who want sex and have no standards Men who want sex, but do have standards Men who only want sex in relationships, but are single and have standards Men who are in a relationship Men who are too scared to approach Group 1 will approach anyone, and will probably approach below average and average girls more as the odds of getting sex are assumed to be higher, and probably will not …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 08:22 AM
1

It's not, but it is possible to be attractive (i.e. have attractive traits that "assholes" usually have) and nice at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 08:10 AM
5

This means that the aversion to being approached on the street isn't universal, and raises an interesting question actually: What demographic of woman wants to be approached, and what demographic of woman hates to be approached?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 04:15 PM
1

Not super high SMV (by RP definitions) yet, but... Would you ever marry a girl who makes more money than you? Don't see why not. I would probably try to narrow the gap at some point however, I am quite ambitious myself Could you really handle the ego hit of being a rich girls "boy toy"? I mean her money is her money, if she chooses to spoil me with it that's on her, but I don't really consider it an ego hit unless I actually become dependent on her. Would you feel shame marrying into the private…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 05:34 PM
7

I go to therapy. It's nice being able to speak my mind to someone without feeling like I'm annoying the shit out of them, and the therapist is legally bound to keep things confidential. He or she - if the right person for you - will help you re-frame whatever it is you are going through in a more positive way. I.e. in RP terms therapy will improve your frame, and that is absolutely a big deal. For me personally, it helped me confront some trauma that I had been running away from for years.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 05:28 PM
0

Half the post on trp are complaining about modern women being bossy, masculine, and not feminine enough. His spiel is an obvious TRP/manosphere talking point. I think the bigger issue with that guy is - what is motivating him to write out 2-3 pages of shit when turning someone down? He's wasting his time and it comes off as so insecure, it's almost like he is desperate to have the last word.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 11:15 PM
1

Who other than TRP members unironically calls themselves alpha males in real life? I think this is actually heavily discouraged in the community. Alpha/beta/AWALT/all that is meant to stay within TRP forums/between men and people who take the red pill are not meant to speak about it in public. (And I think the concept of alphas and betas is shit and has migrated significantly from its original meaning, which might have made a bit of sense)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 11:11 PM
1

I'm not saying "I don't know anything" because that would be incorrect. I spend time reading books and trying to understand better. I also worked at women's organizations and domestic violence shelters for most of my 20s. Then you are more qualified to speak on this issue than I am. That's not to say I don't disagree and I won't be skeptical however. As a man with wholly different life experiences to you I will naturally be on the opposite side to you on some points. It's 2021 and the wise perso…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 10:34 PM
5

Sex drive imbalance will destroy a marriage down the line.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 03:58 PM
2

What might these turning points be? Like I don't really have an issue introducing myself to people or getting their contact info or anything but I feel like I give off massive platonic friend vibes with practically everyone I speak with. And now that you mention that, maybe I'm going the wrong way on one of these turning points.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 01:06 PM
3

I don't even think it's part of his strategy and that he's intentionally hosting girls to get laid. Sometimes things just happen. I suspect he's waiting for her to make a move in these situations, or it naturally developed from both people. Although I do get your point - if someone hits on you and you're couchsurfing at theirs, there isn't really a way to get away from the situation - and if they do not take your rejection gracefully it gets dangerous.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 01:03 PM
3

I just saw and read the update to your earlier comment. You have experience - do women ever call you out for being creepy, stop talking to me etc. in spite of this, or does that eventually stop? (This isn't a personal attack) I personally avoid going on the prowl in bars and nightclubs because I don't really like having sex with drunk girls, or being too drunk myself - whiskey dick is real. If I do bring someone back home I might fool around but probably not have sex with them, I know that if I …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 12:46 PM
1

I think all the apps and the MeToo stuff probably scared most guys off. Yeah, I wouldn't dare today during the day. In bars/nightlife it's definitely more accepted.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 09:23 AM
3

You describe the average instagram model, not the average woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 08:55 AM
3

By far the 1000+ approaches is what did the most. You have to make a good impression fast or you are fucked. If you don't feel confident right then? Too bad in 3 seconds you are about to have it because you don't have a choice. You have to have good body language and read body language fast. Do cold approaches still work as well as they used to? I feel like since street pickups became "mainstream" with people like vitaly and simplepickup, women are getting tired of being approached by random men…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 08:46 AM
3

Just out of curiosity, what was the process like for learning all of this?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 07:00 AM
1

I don't disagree with you, but it's very easy to do it wrong and hurt someone. The issue is that: A lot of people who read RP do the having options game wrong, are not subtle about it at all or do it in an abusive way, out of anger or as a reaction to fear of her leaving (which is just clinginess). That crosses the line into emotional manipulation. I just don't like the term "dread game". If you are dating a hot girl, you know, for a fact, she will be able to find someone else no problem. The sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 06:56 AM
1

It’s not just hitting on or asking out girls, even on dates, a lot of guys basically act like platonic friends lol. They don’t try to escalate physical contact or talk to girls in a sexual light so they pretty get treated like friends. It's 2021, men are understandably hesitant to do anything that, in the wrong light, can be viewed as harassment, or creepy, or socially unaware. For me it's always been not making a move, even in a situation where looking back I probably should have.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 06:31 AM
1

Keep your finances separate when you get married. Make sure you are actually compatible as people and as sexual partners. If you are wealthy, hide it until you are in a serious relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 06:28 AM
1

The fact is, manipulation gets people what they want. This is true in all kinds of areas in life, not just relationships. If it didn’t work, it wouldn’t be a thing. People get manipulated into all kinds of things they don’t actually want to do. The fact that manipulation and abusive behaviors gets people what they want doesn’t mean people are actually attracted to that behavior. Tangent point, but I'll go further and say manipulation, or at least pressure, is intrinsic to human behavior and soci…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 06:23 AM
1

RP ideas if not used very carefully can result in a relationship dynamic that is extremely toxic to the girl. 1/2 of RP is about self-improvement and building an abundance mindset. This is good stuff, knowing you have options prevents clinginess (which is a toxic trait). 1/2 of RP is about dread game, hypergamy paranoia, N-count, and all sorts of ridiculous expectations placed upon women. This is bad shit. This will create an emotionally manipulative relationship and you will absolutely not be a…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 06:16 AM
1

Don't forget I have the personal experience card too. PPD is practically people stating opinions without any statistics or arguments or experts backing them up so I don't see why this is a shock to you. I am here to develop my worldview and that includes topics like this. I state a belief that may or may not have factual basis, people challenge it, and I change my worldview accordingly. Yes, we disagree on many points, but I think understanding your perspective is important, and that's why I con…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 06:09 AM
1

I don't intend to spread misinformation - PPD is a debating sub where controversial opinions are debated. Maybe I should be clear it is a personal opinion and not fact. So, what follows (and what was in the prior 2 comments in this chain) are my personal opinion and please don't take them as more than a debating point. My point is this. Back when these books were published, pressuring someone into sex was not considered rape, lying about condoms or birth control was universally recognized as a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 08:41 AM
1

One is about abusive relationships and one is about murder and violent crime. Both of these books are written prior to the big shift in attitudes to rape (from a forcible act to sex without consent). So this is relevant to some rapes especially forcible acts of rape and abusive relationships but not really rape as it is today. (Note: i probably won't read the books as i am writing a reddit discussion not a scientific paper. Maybe I'm judging them by their cover) (I'm assuming your stance is that…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 05:45 AM
1

Source? 15 minutes or so of thinking about the root causes of rape. I don't claim this to be a scientific paper, if that is what you are asking. IDGAF. If you are willing to fuck someone who hasn't expressed enthusiastic consent you're a shitty person whether or not you know that some people consider that rape. I speak about root causes, not to vindicate rapists but because addressing them from a society perspective is literally the only way to reduce rape in the long term. You can tell drug dea…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 04:56 AM
1

(Part 2 of the comment) Reducing rape involves addressing the root causes and those are extremely varied. Some people get off on the power trip that is rape, but in addition some people are uneducated about what constitutes consent or what constitutes rape, some people follow unethical methodologies to get sex which may count as coercion (lot of RP people/pickup artists in this category) some people are just desperate for sex. I am sure there are reasons I have not listed here Just going off wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 11:22 PM
1

Sure. People have a right to protect themselves. But it's not like cases are making it to this stage where there is actually a trial in the vast majority of cases. It is very, very rare for a rapist to be formally charged with rape. It's not even very common for a rapists to be reported and questioned by police. Rumors can spread for any reason about anything. If you want to make spreading a rumor about a man a crime, go for it. It's just kind of a double homicide for women you know? Men think i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 11:22 PM
1

Yeah this is true of all crimes? Especially so for rape because it is a crime characterized by a lack of evidence to either prove or disprove an allegation - to a much, much greater extent than, say, murder. The actual criminal justice system, however, is literally created on the principle that it's better for 100 guilty men to go free than for one innocent man to be wrongfully convicted. So it is extremely unlikely that you will be put in jail for a rape you did not commit. So much so that it i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 10:15 PM
2

Yes, it's true that if you are taken for granted your SO might not put in as much effort to be on his/her best behavior. What you describe is a false dichotomy, there are not just "nice guys who do no wrong" and "adulterous assholes." "Nice guys" will hear girls complain about their "asshole" SO driving them crazy, but that is not the full story. The "asshole" behavior that is complained about is surface level - beneath that, the SO likely has a lot of attractive traits that happen to be common …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 09:53 PM
7

That's called blackmail, and according to who you ask it might be coercion. Just as threatening to break up is according to every victim support site ever, coercion.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 09:40 PM
1

In some countries, and in common parlance, this is considered rape. In many others, it is considered a crime equivalent to rape with the same punishments.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 09:39 PM
1

Because he did something to cause them to hate his guts. Not because he is an innocent man who people have false beliefs about. Yup. This is a direct consequence to his actions. I'm not disputing that - what I am saying is that in other cases, where the facts aren't so well known, it is easy for people who have no idea what actually happened to jump to conclusions, from bad media information or even a social media accusation, and someone who actually isn't a rapist to suffer similar social conse…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 09:28 PM
0

To "lock down" an attractive female partner. (Although this is an absolutely shit reason to get married) Social pressure. Because he genuinely thinks he wants to live with his partner forever (they align closely on every pertinent issue/value). To get out of living in barracks in the US military.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 09:15 PM
2

It is, as long as you take what they say with a grain of salt. I'm not saying they will give you bad advice, but they will give you advice based on their perspective of what the male dating experience is, which might not necessarily be based on reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 09:08 PM
1

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can understand why you are passionate on the topic. Brock Turner was pulled off a woman mid-rape by two unrelated sober witnesses and he did 3 months and went on with his life. Brock Turner is a rapist. His name is known all over the world, practically every member of polite society in every western country hates his guts and he will never amount to anything beyond mediocrity in his life. That is far worse a consequence than jail time in my opinion (and in…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 09:04 PM
1

It's a journey for all of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 01:48 PM
1

Getting rid of acne and yellow teeth will help you get out of "average generic dude" territory and more into "guy who takes pride in his appearance" territory. Differin really helped with my acne, took about 2 months of applying it every day though. As for the teeth just get into a good brushing routine and once that is sorted, pay for a whitening treatment or strips. r/malefashionadvice is a good starting point for style and just go to a decent quality hair salon or barber's and ask for what mi…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 11:13 AM
1

I literally spent an hour or so coming up with it just now, based on my understanding of the dating "market" and what matters and what doesn't matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 11:06 AM
1

I'm just going to repeat my disclaimer that it is unscientific. If you don't mind me asking, what were the biggest negative scores for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 10:59 AM
1

This is purely an unscientific guess, and it's purely based on sex potential (not relationship), and I will use a slightly different system, but here we go... Weight/fitness: Overweight: -15 (too much muscle) -50 (obvious roids) -40 (mildly overweight) -9999 (obese) Underweight: -5 (skinny and fit) -45 (skinny with no muscle) -100 (skeleton) In shape: +10 (skinnier and healthy) +60 (strong and healthy) +25 (skinnier and ripped) +100 (strong and ripped) +15 for good shoulder/waist ratio +5 for si…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 10:34 AM
1

There are ways you can stack the odds in your favor (on a macro level) but on individuals, attraction is non-negotiable. A lot of pickup advice is selling the idea that you can sleep with almost any girl you choose (but only if you buy our course for $499.99). A lot of dating advice centers on cultivating and showing attractive traits, for example the advice to walk slower, talk slower and appear to put in the least amount of effort necessary to make things happen (while still making them happen…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 08:53 AM
2

When men say that they find the heavily made up appearance unattractive, they speak thinking about heavily made up otherwise unattractive women who use makeup to overcompensate. Makeup is like icing on a cake, I would much much rather have a good quality cake without any icing than a poor quality cake with lots of icing. Because you are there to eat the cake, not the icing? It can be compared to hairstyling on a guy. If he is in shape, hygenic and takes care of his appearance, the hairstyle does…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 07:54 AM
2

It might be a cultural thing. Some cities in the US are famous for people's unwillingness to settle down.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 07:34 AM
1

What a smart man will do in this situation is present himself as not struggling financially, but also not obviously rich. If he is too well known to do this (Depp or any other celebrity) it then becomes really hit and miss.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 07:30 AM
1

They also will not automatically do more harm than good. The awareness that you live two different lives is a gift, not because it makes you blackpilled (because that is bad) but simply because not a lot of people are aware of this dynamic. It's a gift to her too in a way because even fewer women are wise to the dating struggles of men. Seeing women in a private setting where they are not actively trying to project an image also reminds you that they are just humans like everyone else, which is …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 07:23 AM
1

Happiness is not a competition.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 07:14 AM
2

he ended up crying (hes 35 btw...) begging for me to work it out with him That's a normal human response to a breakup, don't shame men for crying... i told him he deserves to be with someone who WANTS to sleep with him everyday and doesn't fight with you But I agree, you made the tough decision that had to be made and you both will be better off as a result.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 07:06 AM
1

It seems like you just honestly want men to be able to lie, cheat, and steal to get sex with no repercussions. That's fine for you but there's no point in continuing to talk. I disagree. We do disagree for sure, and that's fine. The purpose of PPD as a subreddit is to bring together people who disagree. I want to clarify my stance though. There are things that are shitty to do to people, that should not be considered rape. Should they have repercussions? Maybe. But decades in jail and a lifetime…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 06:39 AM
1

I think about it every single time I have sex because it's my body on the line. It's honestly a sensible way to think because as you say, accidents do happen. However it is not how consent should work. After all, things such as morning after and birth control do exist, I'm not a woman so I have zero knowledge of the side effects or anything else important about taking them, but they do allow one to eliminate the risk (of pregnancy) entirely. By this logic you could consent to have sex with Margo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 04:58 AM
1

Blue pill. Although I use the term to describe mainstream beliefs about dating in general
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 04:47 AM
2

However, consenting to one level of risk (sex with a condom, for instance) does not mean you consent to any kind of sex (sex with no condom, for instance). We agree on this and I thought I made that clear. Nope. There is the potential for becoming a parent every time you have sex because that is always a risk. There is also the potential to get an STI. You don't "consent" to get an STI. But it's a known risk of all kinds of sex, including sex with condoms. The rest of this section makes sense, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 08:06 PM
2

I think some elements of BP/mainstream thinking and some elements of RP are true. But the basis for both of these ideologies is not rooted in actual science so they are both to be taken with a grain of salt.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 07:36 PM
1

I mean that's what it is. It's bitterness at the reality that people tend to want to date attractive people. Going for stable finances is ok. It's when a woman is more interested in the perks of dating a man than the man himself, that's when it is viewed very negatively.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 07:33 PM
2

Yes but we are talking sex here. Consenting to sex and wanting to becoming a parent to a new child are two separate things. In a situation where it's just sex, being a liar (as a personality trait) or a good man; or a good or bad parent; or able to financially provide for a child is irrelevant. The risks to the partner sexually are the same, the implications are the same, the experience is the same. Specific consent to become a parent is not really considered today. As an example, taking sperm o…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 07:28 PM
1

Also just for reference I don't think there's a wag gap lol and definitely agree that both hyper screechy feminists and "RPers" misuse statistics to fit their own purposes. They simply refuse to be agnostic on topics they're ignorant about, which is essentially the same problem as above. I used that example to show how a situation can be much, much more complex than a simple statistic, and how people fail to appreciate that. I have an MS in psychology, but I'm not a clinician or a researcher, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 07:14 PM
2

Then leaps into ridiculous masterbation about awalt or how woman are less mature then men. This is utter insanity and the aspect of TRP I absolutely do not agree with.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 07:12 PM
1

Birth control, STDs, and condoms have direct implications to the insertion of a penis into a vagina - and thus lying about them would be rape. A lie about someone's job, or the amount of people they have slept with, has absolutely no implications to the insertion of a penis into a vagina. In this case I would consider it a risk that is accepted by the consenting party.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 07:10 PM
1

Oh you sweet summer child. Sorry, only my mother gets to call me that. Sure. If that makes you feel so violated you know you wouldn't consent to sex with her if she hadn't deceived you, I agree. You deserve to be able to make choices about your body based on reality, not someone's lie. & It's irrelevant. If someone feels it's that violating and it's a deception purposely made to get sex when the person wouldn't otherwise have access, that's included in what I am talking about. So whether it's ra…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 06:24 PM
2

It is really just an admixture of many types of dudes, some of which are not completely pathetic, most of which definitely are. I feel like a lot of them (not all) talk a big game on reddit as well, but in reality aren't really what they say they are. Not just behavioral psych, but like, general psych, any biology, primatology and statistics. Very few here understand why statistics matter, very few understand why you can't just make blanket statements about anecdotes, almost all think that 'the …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 05:40 PM
2

Ok you make a lot of sense and pretty much everything you said in that comment is correct. I wonder if studying behavioral psychology is then the true "red pill" (in the sense of the whole matrix analogy) one can take? commonplace obvious understandings of human sexual dynamics that do not require constant spelling out (hit the gym, make money, don't be retarded, etc, etc) unless you are a blockhead, which I guess a lot of those dudes are. The trouble (And appeal of RP in a way) is that yes, a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 05:10 PM
1

Whereas what I am proposing here is that neither are universal, but both have their place.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 04:56 PM
1

I mean RP and BP are based almost entirely on observations of human behavior so I think there is some value in both of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 04:54 PM
8

That means it's time for a long conversation about exclusivity. The ideal outcome would be an open relationship. If an open relationship isn't on the table, either: the first party (usually the man) gets stuck in a dead bedroom situation; or the second party (usually the woman) starts having sex that he/she doesn't really want to (maybe they have a conversation and agree to compromise, or one person just badgers the other until they agree) - this can be coercion; or the first party cheats. These…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 04:12 PM
3

How can you have an honest deliberation with that person over needs. They'll capitulate to anything and that's not what I want either. That's one of the difficult parts of dating, and as the idea that men are dangerous and it's a bad idea to disagree with them propagates, it will only get worse. You can try to make someone more comfortable with you, but that will only go so far and with some people they will always have that people pleaser mindset. In that case it's best to let them go. This sor…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:03 PM
5

people have to want to change and do the work This is by far the most important factor here. You cannot help someone who does not want to be helped.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 02:15 PM
2

How do you know when you’re making excuses for your dating situations as opposed to having legitimate reasons ? Well, firstly, life is unfair. That's a given. It's good to be aware of the advantages and disadvantages each gender has in the dating game but at the end of the day it doesn't matter. Neither do any perceived or real excuses. None of them matter. One person's legitimate reason is another person's excuse. So the answer to your question is, they are one and the same. You treat them the …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 02:07 PM
7

As a counterpoint, if the man is a specific type of man who has interests that typically a lot of women are interested in and tries to understand female well... life, he can be friends with a lot of women. The gym for example is a place that both men and women go a lot, and so it's not unknown that friendships cross-gender develop over this interest. Traveling, hiking, photography, frequenting r/PurplePillDebate and playing instruments are also examples of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 12:52 PM
1

Ok I speak hypothetically. Of course we do not have an epidemic now of men receiving unsolicited images from women, or if there is one I'm not seeing a whole lot of complaints. In the situation described above, IF it were reality, I'm sure a lot of dudes would be uncomfortable with it. And I know most men aren't unhygenic but there is an overlap with the type of man who thinks sending unsolicited pictures is ok and the type of man who fails to undertake basic grooming. Men have a far higher sex …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 12:41 PM
7

I mean obviously not everyone thinks like that but is it a risk you want to take? Threatening to break up, is listed specifically as an example of coercion, on a lot of victim support sites and similar places. And while I certainly think saying "if you don't have sex with me now I will break up with you" is manipulative and absolutely the wrong idea and could very well be coercion, it's not a far leap to then say the 2nd example in my previous comment is also coercion.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 12:10 PM
1

I don't think it's a question of sex drive, I've seen a lot of people say that men and women have similar sex drives but women are conditioned by society to suppress it, while for men it's the opposite, having a lot of sex in many societies gives men clout. Of course individual people will vary. Women also often complain about constant dick pics and unsolicited flirtation. However let me ask when has a man ever complained about getting a titty pic or a vag pic. I guarantee you most men wouldn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 11:59 AM
2

I think countering shit logic with something based on the same shit logic isn't really the greatest approach. Some "average men" are getting laid, and some are not. In some cases the men complaining about not getting laid are below average and have to take a good look at themselves. In some cases they are not. And my point is that while an average male in HotDamImHereTown, USA might be getting laid, an average male in Utah isn't getting laid, and an average dude in Japan certainly isn't getting …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 11:46 AM
5

"Average man" is an imprecise term, and to different people it will mean completely different things. What you call an average man is what you consider average out of the men you know, right? I'm assuming you're in the US. An average man in the UK may have a completely different experience, an average man on the other side of the country may have a completely different experience, an average man in a state like Utah will have a completely different experience. So you are not necessarily wrong bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 10:13 AM
9

It depends on the culture where you live, what type of people you interact with, whether you are surrounded by people or starving for human contact, whether you are happy to have casual sex with people you aren't attracted to or have higher standards, how much free time you have, what you do with your free time, whether you put yourself out there or just wait for girls to hit you up and I think most importantly if you already know how to play the game which is dating, as this is something that o…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 09:52 AM
18

Well, solving the problem itself is a bit complicated - threatening to break up if you don't get sex is, according to a lot of people today, coercion. (Even though this is a perfectly good reason to break up - incompatible sex drives are a relationship killer) I'm not sure if you can even say "hey look, I think we have incompatible sex drives and I'm considering breaking up" without somebody (not necessarily your SO) deeming any subsequent sex to be coerced or pressured. So the solution is simpl…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 09:44 AM
1

I think people just need to accept that if they're having sex with someone, there is a risk not everything will be as it seems, there is a risk someone is lying or hiding something, and there is a risk it'll just be a shit experience. That's part and parcel of dating. Rather than the current trend of trying to protect people from experiences that do not meet their expectations by conflating them with rape. (Which to me is a huge misuse of the word) There is a big distinction between lying about …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 04:17 AM
1

So in your eyes deception is inclusive of factors affecting the sex itself (such as STD potential, birth control, etc), but I still don't know your stance on other factors. No one does this tho. Most of the time cheaters just assume they will be fine and don't want to deal with it. Yes but we make laws to take into account every possibility, not a "most of the time" thing. And I would argue the opposite - maybe people don't go through getting STD tests after cheating, but it's a lot more common …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:41 AM
1

I agree, stealthing is rape. Re your other point: that's a bit of a stretch in my opinion. And assuming they used contraception while cheating, or got STD tested after cheating, or only kissed someone and that was the extent of the cheating (and still had sex with their SO after) is it still in your eyes rape? I mean according to your logic earlier it is, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 01:19 AM
1

Yup and that's important to consider, but on principle women should not be fine partaking in the very same behaviors that they hate to see in others. It's a difficult thing, balancing the "real" factors that create these dynamics and the desire to make everything equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 01:15 AM
1

Outside of truly exceptional numbers (100 or so at 18 or something like that) I honestly don't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 01:12 AM
2

I think youtube pickup artists caused a lot of people to start randomly approaching women back in 2015-2016, and women hated it and started reacting badly, and now the "return on investment" of approaching women randomly on the street is a lot worse than it used to be. Because you're now just another creep who is "harassing" people on the street, and you're the 5th person who has done that today. Prior to all of this, I guess it was uncommon and unexpected enough that people were ok with it? Dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 01:09 AM
5

I personally just want women to stand in our shoes and understand the male experience of dating in general (the soul-crushing experience on dating apps of the average man, constant rejections, the expectation to make a move etc) which I presume is quite different to the female experience I think any self-respecting man has sympathy itself as the very last thing on his list of things he wants from anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 01:06 AM
1

No. The biggest red pill is steering away from "Don't"s (reactionary) to "Do"s (pro-active). This I agree with on so many levels. Gym is not necessary, it's derogatory even, as physical fitness can easily be achieved without mirrors, chopping wood, working fields, hiking etc. Not that I'm saying gyms and "body building" is irrelevant, but it's imo far from being a necessity. Just get and keep fit is imo enough. Why not be productive instead of becoming more and more self-absorbed? This I agree w…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 05:25 PM
1

I want to ask you an unrelated question. Do you think the biggest red pill someone can take in today's society is to clear from social media? Do you think it might be greater than going to the gym, or understanding RP ideas about female psychology (AWALT, hypergamy and all that)?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 05:07 PM
1

Uhuh. Cancel culture, metoo, Amber Heard, divorce rates, legally enforced cucking, feminazism, guys not participating, inceldom, enceldom catastrophically spread, it goes on and on and on. Well, the conversation now is quite hostile to men and people are also somewhat led into thinking the conversation isn't hostile to men. I don't want to use the word gaslighting, but the concept is there. I'm not saying all or even most of feminism is like this, but when twitter and other social media openly a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 05:03 PM
1

You joke about that now, but in 20 years people will legit start asking things like that. It's depressing to think about.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 04:47 PM
1

Not gonna happen, tho. It goes against society's open hatred of males. I have to agree with you here on a general level - but I think people are generally ok with calling out bad female reactions to rejection. The issue isn't well known just because there is a lack of interest (and also an inaccurate subconscious bias that people believe that women are incapable of doing anything wrong), not that they are being suppressed. No, it's not. It's human, not male/female. The reason why it's treated as…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 04:46 PM
2

It's clear to me that on these points we agree. I personally got a lot happier after removing most of my social media, I realized how much I didn't miss any of the meaningless shit that happened on it. It really just feels like leaving behind a really addictive game forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 04:29 PM
1

I'm very aware of the double standard and I hate it - what I'm trying to figure out is why. I think a double standard can only really be addressed if one knows the factors leading to it arising. It's interesting you bring gayness up though, I think a bunch of people thought I was gay once because I turned down someone they considered hot. (and yes i regret turning her down, she was hot but i just wasn't in the mood) Like there are two separate things here to consider. On one hand, the view that …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 04:24 PM
1

Confidence = Confirming evidence. That's actually the first time I noticed that "confidence" is literally two halves of two words stuck together. Most people think of confidence as some kind of inner power that you can just pull out of your ass any time you want like we are some kind of Dragon Ball Z characters or something. I mean that's just called cocaine. (Don't do drugs kids) You can't learn to be confident. You will become more confident when you experience success and validation. If you a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 04:05 PM
3

I speak on more of a personal level here. "Not giving a fuck" about what people think of you is an easy concept to imagine, but it is very difficult for a lot of people to implement. We live in a society that makes people self-conscious, you know, wear these clothes, get likes on instagram or you're a loser, fit in with us, don't be a weirdo, all of those messages. People get invested into this mindset, and it becomes all they have ever known, and since they have already put so much work into ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 04:00 PM
1

I've seen a few stories of women getting rejected and in all of them they keep pushing, don't know how to take no for an answer and become disrespectful. Although having turned down girls before they have all reacted fine. I think they take it to heart, and because of the notion that guys will sleep with anything that moves, it's a massive hit to their ego - more so than getting turned down by girls who you know are picky anyway. Or perhaps we just deal with it a lot more - and get used to it - …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 03:39 PM
2

It's not evil in itself. If a woman wants a partner that is successful, or at least can fend for himself (so he doesn't become dependent on her), that is fine. If she is ambitious as well and has her own thing going on, or if she is simply a hard worker herself when she needs to be, bonus points to her. If a woman wants a partner that is rich purely as a shortcut to wealth (rather than putting in the work herself) or to fund her lifestyle, the implication is that she isn't interested in the man …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 01:02 PM
1

That's interesting, I guess it gives you perspective above anything. As a side point, if a woman did these kinds of activities do you think it would make her more attractive too? From like a self-confidence perspective?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 11:40 AM
2

I reckon that's the right answer, it's impossible for us to know. Which means in my opinion, you are right for questioning the whole patriarchy historical narrative that people like to push (or at least the privilege element of it. A select group of a very few men still mostly made the decisions and had the most impact on the world in those times, and that probably counts as a patriarchy?)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 11:26 AM
5

How major do you think it is? Major enough that it's not sensible to say male privilege was a thing during those times, or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 10:45 AM
6

I would, now that you mention it, but my primary counterpoint in the previous post was that men had to go to war, and wars happened very often in human history, and that is an absolutely major thing that people tend to overlook
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 10:40 AM
8

Women were oppressed to some degree yes, they were viewed as property. What would today be viewed as marital rape was completely normal up until recently. That said the common man in that day and age was also oppressed, his lot wasn't much better than that of his wife, and in wartime he would be on the front lines fighting and dying. And yes he was usually doing more of the physical labor. Neither group had the vote, or the ability to self-actualize. This is the vast majority of people in most o…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 10:35 AM
1

It's probably one of the worst things that some men do. Group A of men will get aggressive at a woman or be pushy when she says no or turns them down. That pushes a lot of women into thinking that saying no to men is dangerous, and that men won't take no for an answer, and therefore they have to "let him down gently" and pretend to be nice, or find another way to get rid of him without saying no. That leads to group B of men getting confused frustrated communicating with women, because many of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 09:54 AM
2

I've always viewed it as, in these environments you are exposed to social interaction practically everywhere (and thus your ability to improve socially is at its best) and after that, it becomes a lot more scarce. That being said going traveling (once covid is over) is another way to get that abundance of social interaction again
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 09:27 AM
1

That actually brings up an interesting point. I've always heard stories of men acting aggressively to women after being turned down, "is it because I'm ugly", "why", etc. The woman may have any of a number of reasons to turn a guy down, and many of them will have nothing at all to do with the guy himself. For a man who is aware that attractive people are treated differently, it's not a far leap to assume that what she's actually saying is that he's "not attractive enough to get away with it". An…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 09:24 AM
1

I wonder what's holding back men from doing that then, it seems pretty simple as a concept but it seems like a lot of people don't have the heart to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 08:54 AM
1

I think a lot of leadership comes from knowing what you're doing i.e. a situational thing. If you are rock climbing in a group and you have a few years of experience while everyone else is new you will naturally take leadership. However you as the same person, if you are brand new to the gym and one of the rock climbers is a powerlifter, you will naturally defer to him in that situation. Some of it is also general leadership skills - being decisive, seeking out missing information, recognizing t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 08:53 AM
1

This may be happening because you have a 'processing overlay' when a lot of your brain power (cognitive load) is dedicated to constantly trying to read the situation as your social status is unknown. This is an interesting point and it could well be true, a lot of the time I am unsure of my standing in a situation. Bit of column A, bit of column B? I wonder if it's worth it to just go 100% on column B and then A solves itself, that's sort of the dilemma here. In this case it would mean sorting o…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 08:49 AM
2

I heard somewhere that a lot of slut shaming actually comes from other women. Don't get me wrong I know of all of the RP discussion on n-count and all that so it's not like men aren't guilty of it either...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 07:43 AM
1

I've definitely noticed that people who learn it through school or university do not usually have problems after that, but people who don't have a bit more of a task catching up.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 07:42 AM
2

On a macro scale, I don't see it getting better. The barriers to entry, competition and risks to men for dating have all increased significantly in the past few years, with the rise of dating apps, changing attitudes to masculinity and the current notion that men are to be feared. (I should add that the risks to women are still greater, and have always been there, but there is much more of an awareness of them now in general. This is a factor that drives the fear of men we see today) I see the r…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 07:03 AM
2

The legal definition has been established in most countries to be narrow. Where I'm at, any deception about the act itself (removing condoms, lying about STDs or birth control), the purpose of an act (saying it's an essential medical procedure) or about the identity of the person involved may be considered rape. Widening it any further sets a nasty precedent - people who cheat and still have sex with their SOs can be considered rapists under some interpretations of the law, and that will mark a …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 06:37 AM
2

There are many ways to get validation and relationships are just one. (Although I suppose the end goal is get your own validation from yourself) Intimacy (from an emotional-bonding standpoint) can be gained with close friends as well. Sex, well, part of TRP's selling point is lots of sex without being in a relationship. It's definitely possible. So what I'm saying is that all 3 of these things are conveniently sorted out by a relationship, and without one it takes a more work for the average per…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/21 02:05 PM
1

I know I'm not the only one for sure, but having someone else validate my experiences means a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/21 01:28 PM
2

I used to get the friendly treatment a lot a long time ago, and also the speeches from friends that "oh she was just being nice". The way it usually goes for me now is that someone will throw out a hint, but I (trying to be super aware that maybe she's just being friendly) will just assume they are being friendly. Then I get sad because I look back and realize that I missed an opportunity. You know, maybe she really just wanted to watch a movie in her room alone with me. You know, maybe she real…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/21 09:06 AM
2

I've been the dude in this situation multiple times, and every single time the girl takes it personally, no matter how much I try to explain that it isn't their fault and it's the alcohol/I watched porn too recently/other male biology things they are all absolutely convinced it's their fault. Also I suspect that the male version of this insecurity is why women feel it necessary to fake orgasms so often.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/21 08:53 AM
2

This. It's easy to underestimate the effect this kind of lifestyle has on a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/21 08:48 AM
4

Are you an inhibited man or a late bloomer who's struggled with making a move on a date? If so, how have you addressed it? To me, when growing up, making someone uncomfortable was an easy way to stop getting invites to parties etc. So I have for quite a while viewed making someone uncomfortable as the worst thing ever. And hitting on a girl, or making a move, or showing interest, was an easy way for me to make people uncomfortable. I've moved past this phase but the fear - not of getting rejecte…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/21 08:47 AM
1

I mean you can look at any story (the amber heard/johnny depp one for example). The immediate first assumption many people will make is that depp is the one who was abusive. As it is viewed (probably incorrectly) as more common for a man to be abusive AND blame the abuse on the woman, than it is for a woman to be abusive; and also, the (also incorect) notion that if she was being abusive he could have just fought back and that because women are generally weaker their slaps/strikes/punches mean l…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/21 08:31 AM
1

I reckon the reason that people get away with the height thing so much is that men are willing to overlook it for some tail. The dynamic of dating apps is that men often must make compromises while women can generally be pickier. This absolutely applies here. Change starts with the individual and therefore I do not overlook it
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 01:03 PM
7

Sometimes a relationship doesn't work, so I don't consider losing interest in their SO to be a mistake. I do however, consider failing to break up with their SO prior to cheating or at least get an open relationship with him/her a mistake. It can make me view someone as disrespectful, indecisive (not wanting to make the hard decision to break up), impulsive or selfish (wanting one's cake and eating it too). If I don't know the SO personally I care a lot less, and if the relationship was already …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/21 09:47 AM
2

The current definition of rape by deception is fine. If a person lies about his/her identity (e.g. pretending to be another person) that is rape. If a person lies about the act itself (saying he/she will use a condom, or is on birth control, and not doing it; or lying about transmissible STDs) that is rape - although I think they should be made specific separate offenses not under the umbrella of rape. If it is widened to include any lie, practically everyone who has sex with their SO after chea…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 02:38 PM
3

It's also immediately apparent what a man's height is if you first met in person. It would be interesting doing a post on the differences between male and female experiences on dating apps in general - I think they are much greater than people realize.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 02:13 PM
3

I think the viewpoint of many RPers is more nuanced than what you describe. There will always be a subconscious desire in any human to seek out more successful/attractive partners however this is usually suppressed by intense societal pressure to remain faithful in relationships to avoid hurting the people they love. According to RP, men and women are generally also socialized differently when growing up and have slightly different communication styles (women being more emotional and all that) a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 10:55 AM
2

This is also where things like lookmaxing come from. Men will compare themselves to the top 1% of male models which will make them feel super inadequate. Whereas in the past staying fit, brushing one's hair and taking care of one's skin (and maybe using braces) would be enough to "look good" many men feel like they need a 10/10 physique at like 8% bodyfat (in replication of photoshopped or juiced men) and some go even further and find defects in the bone structure of their faces (in replication …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 08:03 AM
2

True, but a lot of people are not willing to put in the work to do this. A lot of people don't even know how.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 05:26 AM
3

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? On a micro (individual person) level it's entirely a matter of personal preference but on a macro (society) level some people will face discrimination. Whether we should accept that it's personal preference or attempt to fight the discrimination - and if so, how - is an interesting debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 05:05 AM
8

It's a matter of personal preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 04:28 AM
3

I feel like society pressures people a lot to act like looks don't matter and shallow people aren't worth it (so if you ask someone, this is what they will say), but on a deep subconscious level none of this is true. There is a huge amount of money in the beauty industry and it is completely reliant on women being insecure about their looks. If this were to suddenly change, a lot of rich people will lose a lot of money. This means there is a lot of money being put into keeping this insecurity al…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 03:07 AM
1

It's not unavoidable. What you describe is the lot of the majority of the people in the world but it is very escape-able. After deleting my social media for a few months I realized how much I didn't miss it. Most people don't have the heart to do that, for example, but it's something that can be done in 15 minutes if one desires so. And yes instagram and facebook especially are saturated with ads.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 02:59 AM
49

Yes, I find it crazy how on dating apps it's perfectly fine to ask a man's height, but people will get offended if you ask a girl's weight. I (as a tall person) would personally get a bit turned off if someone asked me for my height however
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 02:50 AM
6

I think that in the past, one would compare themselves to say the people in their town. A person might compare themselves and aspire to be like the top 1% of their town. Whereas now, with social media, one compares oneself to instagram models, influencers and generally the top 1% of society in the entire world - which is a much higher standard than 1% of a town. And the comparison isn't just to instagram models and influencers, people generally compare their imperfect experiences in life to the …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 02:40 AM
0

I personally would be more interested in someone who knows what they want from life, and having some sort of career shows that. Dating an unemployed person would make a co-dependent relationship dynamic more likely, and that is absolutely not what I want. Of course, dating someone who is always busy and never available won't work either.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 03:27 PM
1

Firstly, I don't speak for all men, there are some groups of men who definitely fear being raped every single day (men in American prisons for example) but from personal experience the majority of men I know don't. Rape/assault are not pushed by society as a thing men should be scared of and historically: it is viewed as something that does not happen a whole lot and when it does happen (with a female perpetrator) it was either not taken seriously, brushed off or even celebrated. This is due to …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 07:28 AM
5

Absolutely, I think there are plenty of opportunities given to people in high school and university, and if people don't take chances during these times it becomes a lot harder to catch up after that. The desire to catch up I suspect leads people into things like RP, and gives rise to feel-good concepts like "the wall". While I get why this type of thinking can be viewed as toxic to women, it also pushes a lot of men to invest serious time into themselves and these men might find themselves happ…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 06:57 AM
1

I'm not a woman so I can't tell you that. I would assume however it's the same reason that many men aren't scared of being raped/assaulted by acquaintances, even though it's known to happen. If you are interested I can tell you why many men are scared of them however.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 01:37 AM
3

No matter how a society handles sexual misconduct claims, one group of people will get fucked over much more than they deserve. Whether it be legitimate victims who cannot get justice, or people who get falsely accused. This is truly an issue where not everyone can win. It's important to also note that when BP/feminists speak of victims not getting justice nearly enough (which is absolutely true) only a conviction and jail time is viewed as justice. While RP media speaks of FRA more broadly incl…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 10:46 AM
1

First, be grateful that you can be charming, a lot of people (ASD people especially) struggle even with that. That being said, I think being charming can be a situational thing - if you are very confident in a situation your natural charm will come out, and if you are not awkwardness may take over Second, wait for covid to run its course, this is a good opportunity to start getting into shape. Seriously, lifting weights and getting out of being super skinny changed my entire outlook on life. If …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 03:01 PM
2

It's a journey for sure, enjoy it. If you don't mind me asking, what specifically do you struggle with? I might be able to offer some tips.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 10:24 AM
1

That's usually what people do when they run out of legitimate arguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 10:14 AM
4

It's like any movement, the majority of them are not like this (they got actual lives to live) but you only ever hear about the radical feminists and they come to define the entire group. Same with men's rights/redpillers.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 10:13 AM
14

CMV: pineapple belongs on pizza.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 10:11 AM
4

I reckon the answer is to just do things you were scared to do in the past, people's reactions may surprise you. Asking for people's contact info to make friends, for example, was scary as hell at first (I felt like a sleazy pickup artist type) but once I got the first few people saying "of course!" the past conditioning went away and it just became natural. Part of it is accepting fully that unattractive people get treated differently - even though nobody will admit to doing so. Then you realiz…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 09:55 AM
25

As someone who grew up unattractive (extremely skinny) and put a lot of effort into improving myself in the past few years (lifting weights, taking care of my appearance), I still struggle with the "rules" and the inferiority complex. I like to think I'm a decent looking dude now but I'm still playing by unattractive man rules because I simply don't know any different
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 05:15 AM
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