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tryingitall543 Archive

View 1 post and 31 comments by tryingitall543 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
167

tryingitall543/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 12:04 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Would setting a call routine be useful? Like a time every day or couple of days pre- agreed that you guys talk. He'll give feedback into how often he thinks is good for him when you're organising the call schedule. For texts I'm not sure, but as long as you're not texting him continuously I'd say you're fine.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 05:04 PM
2

Yep, would agree
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/22 03:16 PM
4

"Not sure where to move from here" as much as I like to avoid the "dump him" advice I think you evidently both want different things. You could stay in the relationship and hold out for him to change his thinking, but that's unlikely to work. I'm sorry to hear about your abuse, if he's a safe person for you then that further complicates things.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/22 09:50 AM
2

Thanks for your kind message, I know everyone is different but how long did it take for you to recover?
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/22 12:25 PM
2

I dont think regular consumption of porn has a positive affect on any relationship. But once a week sounds like it's not a compulsive habit for that man, I'd say it's not ideal but won't derail the relationship. I don't know anyone my generation who consumes porn that watches it only once a week though. Which is why I wrote that generally, someone commented that because older men weren't exposed to it when they were young and it wasn't as accessible they tend to view it in a more measured way.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/22 09:50 AM
5

I agree, especially at the start of dating somebody. It's not your responsibility to fix someone or look after them at that juncture.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/22 12:08 AM
3

Thanks for your comment. I agree it would be very hard to find a partner who has never viewed porn. Yes I think those who acknowledge and are upfront that they have a problem means you don't have to guess or rationalise why they are the way they are is good as its less likely for the woman to internalise things as her fault. However, I dont think you should consider dating someone like that unless they are significantly into their abstinence/recovery. Because just acknowledging they have a probl…
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/22 12:01 AM
2

Hey, thanks for your comment. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're able to address this and find peace in the future
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 11:04 PM
3

I've replied to other comments on on thread about the relationship between porn and root causes. I don't think I can keep replying individually on this so would urge you to look at them if you can. I'm not arguing there aren't issues it's just that men commonly use porn to hide from them which exacerbates them( also that doesn't mean every man resorts to porn when they have issues) As for the disqualification it's related to porn addiction mainly, porn addiction can cause a lot of issues in the …
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 10:58 PM
4

Hi, thanks for your comment. Yep, agree they're were obviously issues there. But I guess my overarching point is that I could successfully mute those issues and downplay them from a very young age through porn. Resulting in those issues going unprocessed and building for years. Most people will have issues in their life, most boys will definitely struggle and if they all have access to porn at growing rates from a young age it increases the chance of addiction and them not addressing their issue…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 09:58 PM
2

Hey, so I think I lacked clarity in my original post which is my fault. But in terms of the performance symptoms, they're all gone so there has been great improvement in that regard. The issues I was referring to in the post are the emotional issues, a lot of emotions burst out when I was about 4-6 weeks off it. I don't view all men who engage with porn as creepy basement dwellers. My main symptom was muted emotions which was very evident in any romantic experience I had. I'm also well aware tha…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 09:46 PM
2

Sorry you guys are right. I should probably reword my original post. My symptoms have changed, I can now perform if needed( although I won't be doing any of that until I get to a better place mentally) so from that perspective my symptoms have improved and recovered. It's more the emotional side that had been very slow, I haven't cried once in the last 15 years until I gave it up 7 months ago, now I'm in a state of emotional overwhelm. Sorry again for not having more clarity in my original post
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 09:20 PM
2

I agree with this massively. Children should be children, no minor should be accessing the kind of explicit content readily available on the Internet. Thinking back its so inappropriate that I had no problem accessing pornographic material before I had even become a teenager
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 08:57 PM
2

Congratulations, I'm glad your partner is reaping the rewards of living without it and happy to hear you're enjoying a lovely relationship
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 08:47 PM
1

I agree some will be at more risk than others. My reply to the alcohol comparison in this thread is relevant to your comment I think. I've developed no substance abuse issues outside of it, now that might be because I was watching so much of it but I think there would of been a much lower chance of me becoming an alcoholic or drug addict because the awareness of their abuse is so well documented relative to porn
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 08:44 PM
2

I agree that there's a propensity for some to get more addicted than others. But if you're from a certain generation you'll be exposed to porn very early. It will be far more accessible to you than alcohol or an illicit substance as a minor. Also most will be going through puberty when they first find it so it can be very tied to their sexuality also limits their ability to prevent the consumption of it to be habit forming. So for those reasons I think it has far more potential for addiction tha…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 08:41 PM
1

Ah I'd agree, i think it affects most men of a certain age and generation- to varying degrees as well not saying everyone was a full blown addict, but all my friends in my close group of 11, 11 guys view it and 8 of them view it daily. But if you were to account for all men it wouldn't affect all of them of all ages and backgrounds( I think it's mainly a problem in the west but have no data to back that up)
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 08:29 PM
2

Sorry for my assumption, but only because you referenced "mags" in your other comment I'm going to assume you might be from an older generation? For the younger generation porn is a massive problem due to the accessibility and increased stimulation of how its presented. Not saying people from your generation weren't affected but the problem is much more pervasive with my generation and even more common with the younger generations still
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 06:43 PM
3

Amongst my age bracket it's more common than not. And it's only getting more common the younger the generation you look at. Older generations seem relatively unaffected when compared to mine and younger, probably because porn wasn't as accessible and the form it was consumed wasn't as stimulating (videos versus magazines)
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 06:40 PM
4

I think the problem is that the vice allows the issues to go unattended to and build. Its very hard to get a handle on the full extent of your issues when a vice is muting them. I personally had no idea how much I'd let things build until I quit, and without awareness nobody can come to a solution. There would of been no way therapy would have been able to unlock this as I had everything muted. I agree with you that there's a root cause, but due to the accessibility of porn men don't have to del…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 04:19 PM
2

I agree, there's almost a stigma for questioning it these days. I have heard of women being called prudish or close minded for questioning It in the context of a relationship. Its not a healthy habit, it has very real consequences and putting it down to an exploration of sexuality is just incredibly misplaced in my view. Happy you found a partner who values you. And thanks for the kind words
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 04:12 PM
3

I guess stuff like this to attach some meaning from my experience. Trying to raise awareness. Most of the conversations around porn addiction seem to focus on men, and whilst it is an incredible battle and they need support, it doesn't talk about women who have to deal with the fallout(most of the time unknowingly). I'm sure there are plenty of a relationships where a man has disengaged emotionally and physically because of porn. And I'd prefer not to make the focus me because of that, but thank…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 03:35 PM
7

I agree it definitely a widespread issue. Yep, walling up seems to be the pervasive response of most men when faced with the prospect of something genuine. Thank you for the kind words, self compassion is a big problem for me. I'm happy to hear you're making progress on your journey and I hope you meet someone in the future who can mirror your capacity for a healthy relationship
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 03:29 PM
3

Thank you, I might actually post this there as well if it could help raise awareness
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 03:20 PM
12

Thank you. I think that is one of the fairest and wisest dating standards to have. And it seems to come with judgement as today well "oh you're being close minded, overly traditional, controlling etc by dictating whether a man can watch porn". At the end of the day it's an extremely unhealthy habit and no woman should have to tolerate it in their relationship And I agree it not only warps men's view on sex and women through continuously engaging in the act, it also makes them barren emotionally.…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 03:09 PM
10

Thank you for your comment. It must have been very tough for you to undertake a relationship with someone in recovery. It definitely isn't a short journey with many lows so I hope you have a good support system yourself. I'm glad to hear your husband is a good partner and I assume a good person, I think it just shows that this particular addiction can affect every kind of man.
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 02:49 PM
3

No need to apologise, you're perfectly justified ranting, I hope it brings some well deserved catharsis. I am truly sorry you had to experience that, and I think your story is as good an advertisement as any on the negative impact of porn and the negative consequences of dating someone who is addicted to it. I'm glad to hear you have now found a partner who is present and values you, I wish you the best.
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 02:43 PM
5

Thank you for taking the time to try and help and advise me. I think therapy is the best route for me at the moment but I really don't want this post to become about me I was only using this as a way to inform women on porn addiction and the affect it has on the men in their lives.
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 02:01 PM
13

Hi thank you for your comment. I definitely had childhood issues that made the escapism of porn attractive, but I think the dopamine hit porn gives can be hard to resist for all boys even from stable environments. I am currently in therapy and have a cPTSD and depression diagnosis. But feel if porn wasn't there I would have been able to address my issues in a more measured way instead of all out suppression. Thank you for your input
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 01:35 PM
4

Thank you for your incredibly kind words. But I didn't want this post to look like I was trying to garner sympathy, the main motivating factor was to show how porn has affected society/men in a microcosm through my story, and why women should be cognisant of the issue so they can navigate it with appropriate information. I wish you the best!
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 01:03 PM
3

Yep, I wholeheartedly agree. They simply aren't capable of relationships, at least ones that aren't one sided and un fulfilling.
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 12:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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