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ttthrewawayyy Archive

View 0 posts and 62 comments by ttthrewawayyy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

To be clear, I agree then men in general do the bulk of the initiating. But generally speaking, when that initiation actually leads to something, it’s because women have also been playing their part in moving the whole thing forward. My point was women who don’t do their part (for whatever reason) don’t typically have much success with men, which I backed up with lived experience. Women play an incredibly important role in mediating relationships, even if their contributions aren’t immediately v…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:58 PM
1

I mean that’s pretty upfront is it not? My perspective is coming from a women historically bad social anxiety. And my expierence is women just have to sort of exist and they’ll have all the men they could ever want lining up to get with them isn’t true to my expierence. My perception of what counts as upfront is probably pretty distorted tbh. But I can assure you as a women if you don’t make an effort to put yourself out there confidently you just won’t attract guys you are interested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:40 PM
2

Well then I’ll end it here because we are coming at things from two fundamentally different experiences of life and I don’t want to spend my time reiterating a point you won’t get.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 06:54 PM
3

If you really were as self sacrificing as you claim you’d understand people’s need for space. You wouldn’t be angry for taking care of themselves. This take, reeks of a moral superiority complex. Understanding that other people experience life in ways you do not, and that your approach to life is not a one size fits all, even if it means losing a friendship you valued is self sacrifice. Claiming otherwise is selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 06:15 PM
2

I mean I don’t conflate caring and self sacrificing so nahhh but go off
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 05:59 PM
4

Imma log off Reddit now.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:15 PM
6

To add on. Time and time again, taking care of yourself and making sure your needs are met is in general the absolute best thing you can do for the other person. If you are the type of person that can move on easily that’s fantastic. But not everyone is. And asking people to “Take accountability” when they are actively trying to make a situation better for themselves so that they can make better decisions moving forward is not helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:15 PM
6

Sure, but just as the person interested isn’t entitled to a relationship, the person they are interested in isn’t entitled to a friendship. I think we agree if these feelings are withheld for a long time and then thrown out of nowhere because a man was finally motivated to let you know, then that’s…bad for everyone. And generally not responsible. And idk maybe that’s what men keep complaining about. But I honest to goodness cannot imagine myself getting angry at someone who is navigating their f…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:07 PM
8

Distancing yourself from situations that don’t serve you and are actively causing you distress is taking accountability. Trust me, trying to be the bigger person when that’s not something you have the mental bandwidth for will cause more problems than it solves. Speaking from expirence.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:00 PM
2

Yeah but I think if you know from the beginning they are taken it’s a lot easier to compartmentalize that attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 03:29 PM
5

Yeah but like that doesn’t mean he didn’t genuinely care about you. It just means he didn’t care about on your terms. No one owes you friendship.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 03:26 PM
9

I’m generally with men on this one (as someone who’s dealt with her fair share of rejection). I think the bigger issue is men staying in friendships with women they have feelings for hoping it will turn into something more. Generally if you develop feelings the best thing you can do for all parties is let your sexual/romantic interest be known early on and be okay with any resulting rejection. I think the sense of betrayal women feel is a result of thinking they had a friend for in some cases ye…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 02:35 PM
1

Okay but what if it’s a two way street? Like obviously for your own sake make better decisions next time but sometimes you don’t learn these things until you’ve lived them. Whatever you take away from that relationship is just as much his responsibility as it is yours. You don’t get to let men off the hook for manipulative behaviour because a woman “should have known better”. As someone who’s dealt with a man like I describe, I can (rightly) be angry at him while still holding myself accountable…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 11:36 PM
6

I mean ideally therapy isn’t just venting your feelings. It’s giving you insight and skills so you can change the situation in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 09:42 PM
3

This may be an unpopular take, but acting like you have feelings or that the casual relationship means more to you then it really does, especially if you know your partner has developed feelings, kinda falls in this category. Some people like to pull the “I told them I didn’t want a relationship!” card when they know full well that their partner wanting more and putting in more emotional investment while they give the bare minimum was like, the whole point of the arrangement.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 05:55 PM
1

I think a lot of this boils down to realizing that your sex partner doesn’t give a shit about you. I think women overall would be a whole lot more forgiving if a non insignificant amount of men stopped seeking out casual sex because they don’t have much emotional maturity or integrity so they use the casual status as an excuse to get what they want without being considerate of the needs of their sex partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 05:40 PM
2

I was merely pointing out that both these mindsets get espoused as absolute truths on this sub, even though one contradicts the other. Unless you are suggesting that (just maybe) women are not a monolith and all behave differently?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 07:34 PM
6

I have personally never “warmed up” to a man. If the attraction isn’t there from the beginning it just isn’t there. I talk to men all the time though. My hobby is male dominated so I talk to a lot of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 03:57 PM
8

I’m confused. Is red pill logic that women settle for men they aren’t even interested in eventually because the chads don’t want to hookup and discard her anymore or is the logic that women have such insane standards they stay single forever like a lonely cat lady because they won’t settle. Seriously it seems like red pill guys will just throw out which ever argument is convenient to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 02:34 PM
3

Contrapoints has a great video on desire and Twilight (and by extension 50 Shade of Grey, as that was originally a twilight fanfic). She talks about female sexuality and why it’s often written in ways that are deemed problematic by mainstream culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 05:20 PM
4

From what I’ve seen objectification isn’t finding someone attractive but literally treating them as a sex object. Reducing (often women) to their bodies or a sexual fantasy, without giving women agency or being attracted to women as a whole being. Physical attraction is normal, but feminism typically takes issue with not being able to see women as anything other than an object of desire. But idk I’d need to read the literature or whatever to give a better explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 05:18 PM
7

Well maybe that was my issue idk. But my general expirence is that socially adept men aren’t all that interested in socially inept women
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 10:40 PM
7

I think we’re talking past each other, maybe due to poorer wording in my original comment than intended. But like, those are all women who made an effort to talk to you. They demonstrated interest. My point was less of how much interest it takes to turn on a man and how there are a non significant amount of women who would just never show interest in the first place, even if they were in fact interested. Because social difficulties aren’t gendered man (well certain flavours of them are but you k…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 10:29 PM
8

That is all to say that women who struggle socially will struggle with dating (duh) and that isn’t magically made up for because they are women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 10:16 PM
11

Ok so maybe I’m just socially inept and that’s the issue. But I keep seeing this idea floating around this sub that women don’t need to put any effort into attracting a man. That men do all the work and all the initiating, and like that’s true to an extent. But women absolutely have to do the right things and play the right script to get men to notice them. Women who sit around waiting for men to approach them and do all the heavy lifting don’t get into relationships. I know that because I’ve be…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 10:15 PM
6

I think there’s also a certain element of luck to the whole thing. I’ve never had a relationship, but only one of the guys I was into was what you were describing - a hit with the women and went after a lower commitment alternative. I’ve been interested in guys who were either romantically interested in someone else when I met them or went on to have a committed relationship after meeting me. The most recent guy I’ve been interested in has BPD and has pretty much removed himself from the dating …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 10:00 PM
5

I find plenty of men attractive. I am sexually attracted to very few of these men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 01:57 AM
2

Quite possibly.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 07:09 PM
1

I also prefer to get dressed up when I’m home alone. Makes me feel happier and more confident in myself. My mood is boosted by presenting myself as a better version of myself, even if the only person seeing is me in the mirror.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 07:05 PM
–

To add on this. I have this memory as a kid of being at the toy store with a gift card and wandering around trying to find something to buy. I literally thought I wasn’t allowed in the boys section, that it wasn’t for me. I looked through the girls section and was so underwhelmed. I ended up with some doll I never used. I always thought my brother’s toys and games were so cool, and loved when he shared. Not that I didn’t like typically girly things. I did. But I think part of the reason I liked …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 09:15 PM
–

Idk, I never cared about math or science or programming growing up. I avoided it because I thought I wouldn’t like it. I thought it wasn’t girly. And then I loved math in high school, studied physics, and currently work in software. So I think there is some level of conditioning in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 07:51 PM
2

It’s obviously happening enough that women are taking issue with it. Every woman has their stories. That was sort of my point. Your post assumes women want to be selective in what attention they get because they are vain or shallow or don’t want men talking to them. But most just don’t want to be harassed. Women do get to choose. If women don’t like being abused and harassed by men, we can impose social consequences. And one of the best ways of doing that is having other men take our side, which…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 12:28 AM
4

I refuse to believe that the majority of men are fundamentally bad people. Did I use a big of hyperbole, sure. But I do believe that many men can be better and make women feel safe. And not making posts essentially victim blaming women telling is a great place to start. Are there horrible people out there who are unlikely to change? Yeah. But many, many men can do better.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 12:17 AM
2

And also I can assure you ugly women are getting targeted too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 10:53 PM
2

I think this post is suggesting women are being silly for wanting to be approached, talked to, and interacted with safely and respectfully. If we want men to want us we just have to accept that some of them are going to want to hurt, control, and abuse us and that’s acceptable. But it isn’t. There is absolutely a world where men chat me up at the climbing gym or guys I’ve had an actual conversation with ask me out or give me their number and in which I don’t feel unsafe because I don’t know if h…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 10:53 PM
1

Okay, because I actually find lots of guys visually appealing. Idk if I can put a number on it. I ask because I normally need visually appealing in my type sort of way and/or some intrigue for actual attraction to develop. That’s why I can find lots of men visually appealing and only actually be attracted to a very small number of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 07:27 PM
1

By attractive are we talking “You are visually appealing to me” or are we talking “I actively want to have sex with you” because those are different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 06:34 PM
3

I mean I become fairly emotionally attached to people simply by virtue of being physically attracted to them, so everyone gets put in the relationship category until I have a reason to believe that wouldn’t work. I’ve also dealt with a lot of social anxiety over the years so people in general are intimidating. Who I’m most nervous to talk to really depends on a combination of how attracted I am, my mental health at that particular time, how well I know someone, and how much of an effort the othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 04:55 PM
4

And yeah this is one of those subjective truths you talked about, but I wanted to make a point about some of the rhetoric I saw in your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 10:58 PM
5

I think people here have made a good point about not generalizing genders but I would like to point something out. You can be attracted to people who don’t make you happy. You can develop romantic feelings for people before you know their true personality and how they’ll treat you. And once someone develops those feelings, it can be very hard to walk away, even if you know the person isn’t good for you. People typically aren’t attracted to red flags, they are attracted in spite of. I think peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 10:57 PM
2

My point was OP was attracted to the women who approached him. If women were attracted to the men that approached them, they would likely accept their advances, regardless of what league they are in.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:40 PM
12

I actually have very positive feelings towards men I’m not attracted to, so long as they are nice and kind humans. The opposite of attraction isn’t disgust, it’s lack of attraction. Women can feel tons of positive feelings towards men without wanting to have sex with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 01:08 AM
3

Okay! But that’s kinda my point, you haven’t made an effort to date people you aren’t attracted to and I personally don’t see why women should be either.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 12:31 AM
3

Curious, did by “lowering your standards” did you end up dating people you weren’t attracted to? And did attraction grow as you started dating them? Because I’ve never been a grower when it comes to attraction. I typically know right away if I want somebody. and there is absolutely no appeal of being with someone I don’t actually want sexually and romantically. I am perfectly happy staying single if the dating department doesn’t work out for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 12:22 AM
2

I mean my standard has always been (to my own detriment) essentially “people I’m sexually attracted to” and I don’t really have much control over who I become attracted to. Sure there are women out there who maybe reject men they are otherwise attracted to because they are shallow, but I’d say for a lot of women, option 3 isn’t even feasible.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 12:06 AM
3

Good to know
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 12:43 AM
8

What about just has historically had trouble connecting with people (but is working in that skill) combined with bad luck? That’s the boat I’m in and I’m trying to get out of it. Just trying to gauge how hard it will be to maintain someone’s interest once I finally find someone who reciprocates the interest and is interested in a long term relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 12:41 AM
1

Not from what I’ve seen. Obv it’s going to vary from woman to woman, but a non insignificant portion don’t like it. And I’m def not saying I don’t like men I don’t know talking to me. It’s just a matter of how they go about doing it that matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 08:59 PM
1

If an incel came on here and talked about how a woman violated his boundaries and made him feel uncomfortable I would absolutely believe and validate him actually. The problem with incels isn’t inexperience it’s an ideology problem. Lack of experience doesn’t mean you suddenly don’t have boundaries. Like lmao what. And as I said twice. Lot’s of women don’t like getting cold approached, even ones with lots of relationship/sexual experience: I had a comment from another women on here a few days ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:19 PM
2

And even if I did change my mind later in life, that doesn’t erase the fact that right now I do not like being cold approached. And I am by no means alone on that point. I’m not even saying don’t do it. Just accept you are going to make some women uncomfortable in the process and if you get shut down please just move on graciously and leave her alone. That is literally I’ll I’m asking.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 11:50 AM
2

Yeah? So? Most of my posts here are about being approached. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I don’t have insight on how I’d like to be approached. And I not a small minority on that point. I still have experience on how I like talking to men lmao. I got cold approached last week and it did not feel good. Having or not having a relationship wouldn’t change that?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 11:38 AM
2

I’ll take this as progress. And thanks for not discounting my experiences. I appreciate it. You are right, you cannot tell from the outset what a woman considers safe. I’ve seen posts on this sub from women saying they like being cold approached. So yeah, women vary. The good news is from my experience there is a lot of overlap for most women. There’s a reason go to dating advice for men is “get a hobby”. A lot of women want to meet people organically. “But women also say it’s bad for men to bef…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 01:10 AM
2

Just to reiterate the point, unless I’m on a dating app, I’m rarely ever going to give my number or go on a date with a man I do not know. I prefer to meet people and talk to them before sex is in the cards. When women say cold approaches make them feel unsafe, it’s because we are in situations where we know men want something from us, but we literally have no idea how they’ll react to rejection because we don’t know them. That’s the scary part.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:32 AM
1

Guys talk to me while I’m at the climbing gym. I don’t know for certain if they are hitting on me but I’m pretty sure one or two of them are. I don’t feel unsafe in that situation. It’s quite nice actually. I had guys ask me out in uni that I knew from classes. That also did not make me feel unsafe. One guys even messaged me a year after the fact to apologize for hitting on me at a party and I told him he had nothing to worry about. And I’m not interested in any of those guys. Point is I do like…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:27 AM
2

So you are conflating two different groups of people. When women complain about “Nice Guys” it’s usually because these men consider themselves nice, good men, but react very poorly to rejection. If you can’t take no for an answer, even if you think the reason for rejection is shallow and unfair, you have a personality issue. I’m not saying don’t be upset by rejection at all, but you can’t make it someone else’s problem. If a man can’t get a woman but is doing all the right things and taking reje…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 11:53 PM
2

So I actually don’t like being cold approached because it makes me feel unsafe. The same guys could hit in me in a safer setting and even if I wasn’t attracted I’d be flattered by the attention. When most women are put off by male attention it typically has to do with how they were approached and a lot less to do with how hot the man is.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 11:27 PM
2

No like this is it. This is how a lot of woman want to be approached. The people (men) downvoting just don’t like it because it involves investing energy into relationships that may not pan out the way they want them to. They would rather just cold approach a bunch of women on the streets because they think that will get them what they want faster with less emotional disappointment. sorry for hijacking this I just thought it summed up really well what I was thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 07:52 PM
1

In my opinion I’d rather be approached in static places where I have some context for meeting people and I can get a feel for whether I like someone or not before an official move is made. Idk just feels safer. Unless something unexpected/funny/unusual happened that would warrant me talking to someone out of the blue I really would not be receptive to being approached at say the mall.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 07:39 PM
3

Plenty of women (myself included) aren’t particularly interested in casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 11:37 PM
1

Good good. That was sorta my point. That women aren’t a monolith and just because some exhibit behaviour you personally don’t like doesn’t mean we have to condemn women as a group. I think we tend to generalize women based on which camp we’re in, and what invested interest we have to put women in a specific box.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 04:43 PM
3

I got cold approached this week and even though the man wasn’t outwardly threatening, the interaction made me feel scared and uncomfortable. I’m not like 100% against cold approach’s, but imo they can feel creepy real fast if not done with a lot of care. So yeah sitting yourself down across from a woman on a train who is obviously zoned out and listening to music just to get her attention and randomly start talking to her when she has no where to go and has no time to figure out if she actually …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 02:21 PM
4

Hi woman here. I’d would never date a man I wasn’t genuinely attracted to. If the people I’m attracted to aren’t attracted to me, then I just stay single. I’d never “adjust my strategy” or whatever for the sake of being in a relationship because that sounds miserable for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 12:04 AM
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