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tuberosetears Archive

View 6 posts and 210 comments by tuberosetears on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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13

Take my upvote. This comment is * chef's kiss *
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 01:30 PM
33

would you really date a man that goes to his ex’s to cook for them? I had to laugh a little, because hell no I wouldn't 😂 It's like... I love this post in principle; it's heartwarming. But in practice, in reality? Hard pass lmao. I'm all for this setting an example for your kids and whatnot! I just wonder where the lines are and wouldn't want to get involved in a situation with so much potential for triangulation (ex, children, me). I feel judgemental for thinking in such a territorial manner BU…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 04:50 AM
27

Yes. Women are still capable of behaving poorly in relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 04:44 AM
9

True, but a sportscar won't cheat or hide a porn addiction. Horsepower over heartbreak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 11:09 AM
23

Yeah, I prefer Life is short, buy a sportscar! energy rather than Life is short, let a man waste your time! energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 10:39 AM
145

I knew there had to be something. A woman doesn't just "quit" at such a great a cost to herself for no reason. Men always know exactly what to leave out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 03:51 AM
16

Idk why I'm laughing. Not at you, but at the situation. It is very new-age 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 11:29 PM
61

This was the hardest pill for me to swallow learning about relationships. You can do everything right and the worst people will still mistreat you because that's just who they are. Thinking that you are responsible for someone else's fidelity (or lack of) is a ticket to abuse and exploitation, and to broadcast this falsehood to inexperienced women and girls is so dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 10:10 PM
18

I see what you're saying, and it begs the question... who is we? If most societies are patriarchies, then is it not men doing this to themselves? The cycle perpetuates; emotionally stunted men who refuse to heed advice beget more emotionally stunted men. How are women supposed to save men from themselves?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 02:53 AM
22

Nice perspective. Would you also agree that it has a lot to do with men (globally) being socialized to be selfish?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 01:07 AM
9

Hey, congratulations on moving on and up. I am really, really proud of you. My ex did something similar when I told him I was breaking up with him. He started throwing out dramatic, stupid, extreme, and unrealistic statements like "What if I never ever ever did XYZ again?!?!" when he was throwing XYZ in my face for our entire relationship. I knew he didn't mean it and I'd be a fool to believe him. They do this Hail Mary bullshit because we catch them totally off-guard when we discover self-respe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:01 PM
62

Fuck you, I've blatantly been more X than you since the day we met. More of this 👑 energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 12:51 AM
26

This is embarrassing... for her. Bottom-barrel scrotes have no shame. She thinks she's humiliating him when she's really not. He could care less what she posts, as long as he gets to do what he wants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 12:48 AM
16

This is what I came to say. The lack of respect is what bothers me the most.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 05:56 AM
29

I think you're missing her point entirely. Only when someone is content and at peace with being by themselves can they attract the best partner possible. Someone who is comfortable being alone romantically is not going to be desperate, fawning, clingy, or codependent, which are all welcome signs for LVM/abusers. Being comfortable and confident with yourself is the ultimate dating strategy, as it signifies to a potential HV partner that you are mature and fit for a relationship. She isn't advocat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 12:59 AM
99

Yep. I thought that it was just a man thing, but even in female-only environments giggling about sex is popular and I'm just not super into it. I'm very in tune with my sexuality, even as a virgin. Yet no one thinks that's possible, as if I'm somehow ignorant to my own body and don't know what turns me on simply because I haven't let a man have sex with me. It's sad that their view of sexuality is so one-dimensional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 12:19 AM
251

I love this. Thank you for sharing. I also thought I was asexual because I wasn't into things that I (and most women here) consider disgusting and didn't have my mind in the gutter 24/7 compared to all my peers. The entitlement and expectation of sex from men is a massive turnoff, so it isn't hard to feel like the label of "sex-repulsed" applies to you when it really doesn't. I thought I was sex-repulsed when really I was just repulsed by the men who acted like it was owed to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 11:59 PM
159

Great post. I think a lot of women discover FDS and think that it's so great here because we've discovered the cheat code to acquiring a man of quality, only to realise that building self-respect and subsequently raising the standards you have for yourself and a partner aren't easy feats. FDS is about realising your own wholeness whole prior to having a partner. FDS encourages us to de-center men from our lives and to cease thinking of a romantic relationship as our "happiness endgame". It's the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 10:38 PM
1

Seconding this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 10:23 PM
32

Very troll-like. I was getting wound up ready to defend breastfeeding but this does sound a bit fake. When he said "feefees" that made me 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 06:30 PM
77

Nope. Hard boundary. My own extended family is high in dysfunction and I make sure I do not interact with them for the sake of my own mental health as well as that of any partner I may have. It's part of being an adult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 08:47 PM
8

Complete about what YOU DO or what YOU MADE or SAID or DID - that’s different. “You said something earlier about tables, what was that, it got my attention, that was really interesting!” is a compliment that you can’t make up. It’s observation, it’s respect. THANK YOU.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 02:45 PM
7

I think that if we used that logic we could go in circles all day. Just like a rich LVM could buy you a diamond ring just to keep you hooked with money and then abuse the shit out of you the next day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 02:44 PM
101

He will compliment the qualities, traits, and characteristics that are unique to you. He hones in on what sets you apart from everyone else because that's what appeals to him about you. He doesn't need to put other women down to do this, either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 10:19 PM
82

give a fake one or create a google voice number- that way, your phone will ring should they test-call you right during your conversation, but your actual data is not connected to the number they have. This. Never give out your real number. Even if you block them, they could still potentially find more information about you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 11:54 PM
63

This ability is why I don’t get into fisticuffs with the woman who grabbed the dress I saw first at J Crew. THE WAY I YELLED 😂😂😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 01:45 AM
8

Unfortunately it's something I only figured out after I got to know an abuser. The difference I noticed in an abuser vs. leader was that an abuser (in my case, a communal narcissist) was all talk and hollow actions. They talked the talk and seemed to walk the walk, but everything they did that looked selfless, kind, and noble was actually self-serving every single time. There was always an ulterior motive, some personal gain, and/or public recognition/praise at the end of any action. No act, no …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 09:20 PM
14

😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 10:36 AM
6

I mean, like, I need therapy too but at least I'm not making that everyone else's problem 😂 I do the same thing- whenever someone tries to bring me down for no reason I just politely giggle (which probably makes them hate me more but 🤷‍♀️).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 10:31 AM
29

I try to identify the gossips/whoever has a problem with me and ice them out the best I can. I interact with them politely, but minimally because they've shown they can't act like an adult. People will literally hate you because you smile a lot or laugh. I've been treated that way by women and men equally. And I can't shrink either. I'm not cool and efficient like you, though. I just have a big personality and I like to gently bring sunshine wherever I go. Some people would rather wallow in dark…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 12:56 AM
65

OH MY GOD, YESSSSSSSS! 😂😂😂 Like, I would always feel like I was stronger emotionally than most men. Like it wouldn't take long to pinpoint their insecurities and have them flipped on their backs emotionally and by that time I'd deemed them inferior and weak. He can't be my other half, my rock, or my guiding star if I've known him for 2 days and I can already come up with something to say that'll make him cry. That's how I ended up confusing abusers and leaders. I didn't know the difference betwe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 11:58 PM
89

So I sought out 'wisdom' and 'authority' figures, people I subconsciously thought would be leaders. Oh damn. I feel attacked. I grew up in chaos so I sought those leader figures in my romantic partners because I wanted someone who would always be calm and know what to do in the face of disorder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 11:18 PM
20

I really loved reading your stories. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 11:15 PM
234

men won’t see it in you sis, they don’t see a “””ugly or fat””” women and said omg the potential, hell no. Oh my GOD this is so true. I've never thought about it like that. Damn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 10:28 PM
63

DEFECTIVE 💀💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 07:41 PM
161

what happens when they get with younger women and those women age as people normally do? These types of men will get bored. You eventually find out they weren't with you because you're "mature for your age," they liked you because you're 17 and think they're the shit. What happens when that changes? Well, they'll start looking for another young one who will idolize them. Thank you. This was the exact realisation I came to about a year after dumping my ex. My ex was only 6 years older than me, bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 07:28 PM
133

FUCK THIS. He reminds me so much of my ex it's scary. What a weak little manipulative piece of shit. She was probably the first woman he'd dated who didn't fall for the guilt tripping earlier and he got desperate. He was crying out of frustration with himself because he'd never dated someone with boundaries and his brain couldn't handle being told to wait, so he threw an emotional tantrum hoping that she'd let him fuck out of pity. Edit: Holy shit I went over there to read the original post and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 03:36 AM
84

older people trying to act like they’re 16, 20, and whatever. That’s embarrassing. That is exactly what I'm talking about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 05:47 PM
22

Depending on the situation/person, I like to give answers that are more boring than I really am. If they think you're uninteresting they'll eventually move on to someone who's more ripe for exploitation. It hurts because I really want more friends but I've learned that trusting someone (coworker, friend, suitor) is a very long process and I have never regretted being guarded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 04:59 PM
143

I don't think your situation compares with this one, sis 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 04:52 PM
676

😂😂😂😂 I laughed, but for real, one of my turnoffs is an adult man who spends time on TikTok for the sole purpose of making or engaging with clickbait/hype content to stay relevant with younger generations. It screams that they are deathly afraid of getting older, are a creep, and probably have a very short attention span.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 04:42 PM
77

I'm really proud of you for learning that you deserve better and for showing empathy to your past self.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 04:37 PM
82

Yep. That's what happens when scrotes discover PC language and use it to dress up/modernize/disguise their depravity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 04:35 PM
3

Yesss omg, so pathetic! Caring so much about what other people think about something as insignificant as your choice of beverage is, in my opinion, a sign of extreme psychological weakness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 01:59 PM
45

Your home should always be a place of safety and security violated by no one. Great job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 01:09 PM
383

This. It's so they can absolve themselves of guilt, too. "It's not cheating if I'm open about it and my girlfriend has low enough self-esteem to accept it!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 01:02 PM
6

men drinking black coffee as an act of machoism I think that those who are getting butthurt because they genuinely like black coffee like you do are missing the point of what I said, but you got it lol. I'm criticizing men who would otherwise want to enjoy a drink with cream but don't allow themselves to do so because of their fear of other men perceiving them as feminine. It is, as you said, giga cringe 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 12:58 PM
74

Big, huge, massive this. The first thing an LVM will do is strike below the belt because he knows you have him cornered after him doing something shitty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 09:43 PM
19

And cool older women are so cool? THIS! Like why do I always see a rad older lady driving a muscle car or sportscar and think "Omg I want to be you" but never have that same admiration for men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 02:49 PM
4

I'm screaming 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 02:45 PM
25

I don't think it's possible for a straight guy and woman to be close friends without one or both parties being attracted to each other. I think you can be acquaintances with the rare respectful guy, definitely. But close friends? Nah. The question in my mind is always "why" when someone says "my guy/girl best friend" like why even mention their gender if it's so chill? And since you are so close, why not date?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 10:50 AM
62

didn't technically cheat on me I learned that "didn't technically cheat" meant "tried to/would cheat on me but failed/can't"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 03:25 AM
125

a little too cozy with attractive women I agree. I'd like to add that they don't necessarily have to be attractive. Attention from conventionally beautiful women would be a boost for their ego, sure, but they are men after all and sex is sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 01:39 AM
101

accusses you of cheating despite having zero indication or evidence. It's usually projection. This is a huge one. My ex would make "jokes" about me cheating on him 24/7. I told him I wouldn't do that and don't really think jokes about infidelity are funny. He said he was jUsT kIdDiNg but no one mentions a specific thing obsessively like that for no reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 01:35 AM
62

Oh my god 😂😂 the male equivalent of that is a guy who only drinks coffee black. Like, coffee on its own is BITTER, and you'd rather suffer through choking down straight bean juice than allow yourself to enjoy a PSL??? Lmao. I have literally heard men say that adding creamer to coffee makes you a p**sy. It's so cringe. Some of us may have been pickmes, and some of us just made mistakes. This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 01:27 AM
132

thought we were in a legitimate relationship with a man who would reciprocate Yes, you got it. I think most women enter a relationship expecting and assuming reciprocity. We give the most because we expect the most in return. But it doesn't end up playing out that way and we get taken advantage of. The smart among us retrain themselves to stop over-giving and reserve that grand effort for someone worthy of their commitment. "STOP DOIN' WIFEY SHIT FOR MEN WHO DESERVE RAVIOLI IN A CAN!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 01:14 AM
7

He was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 08:26 PM
4

I'm CRYINGGGG 😂 mine too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 12:25 AM
174

With my ex the biggest sign was his constant game of "anything you can do, I can do better!" Any talent I had? He claimed to be more skilled. Any interest? He'd been into it way before me, or claimed to know more... after I told him about it. Any hobby? He was just better and more knowledgeable. At/about everything. I wish I was making this up. It was exhausting having a grown, adult man older than me try to 1-up me FOR NO REASON daily. He wanted me to feel stupid, inferior, unskilled, and usele…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 12:23 AM
10

he has the ability to be the person I want to be with 🚩 I stopped reading here. The second you start trying to crystal ball who you think he could be be instead of looking at him for who he is, it's a no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 10:49 AM
307

He already got her and has no worries about competition anymore. He's done all the impressing he needs to do. And vice versa occasionally. Sometimes couples just stop trying for each other. I don't know why. I'd impress and delight my partner until I died and would want the same from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 12:53 AM
2

“I prefer to date Japanese girls who are new to the country. Not American Japanese. They’re too…you know. They have attitudes.” Yes. Agency/knowledge about where she wants her own life to go= turnoff Individuality/personality/existing apart from the generalizations he's made about an entire ethnicity= turnoff Self-sufficiency/worldliness= turnoff
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 12:48 AM
27

Yes, THANK YOU!!! I'm firm about porn but I've accepted that 95% of guys are not going to be virgins. So if I ever get proposed to for marriage one of my conditions for a "yes" is the enthusiastic and quick return of a clean STD test. I can provide the guy with the clean results of my own test, too. My ex got SO offended when I told him that 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 12:33 AM
6

I thought the same thing... but scrotes really are like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 11:19 PM
8

Do not agree to exclusivity unless they earn it AND he formally asks you to be his girlfriend!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 11:13 PM
52

gaslighting and building the foundation for future abuse 🙃🙃🙃🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 10:46 PM
230

Yep. My ex was similar. Like... the most ridiculous things to lie about. Why would anyone lie about that?!?!?! They do it because they count on you never finding out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 10:08 PM
68

-Its biology to want a pure chaste woman to carry my seed. (The man who has pumped and dumped women repeatedly, wants to define/control a woman’s sexuality with hypocrisy dripping from it) 🤢 This always makes me LAUGH. What if I, a virgin, demanded to breed ONLY with man who was also a virgin? No diseased, shrunken community penis! Only a chaste, pure, clean gentleman for me. The fuckers would literally die out before that happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 09:42 PM
22

So, you have to be an independent cool-girl when they refuse to respect you, but dependent enough to never leave them🤔🤔?? You got it! /s 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 03:42 PM
36

I love this. Everything you said is perfect. I don’t approach men ever. Sometimes we don’t even look at them and they still find all kinds of ways to approach us. The most a woman can consider doing is putting yourself in a man’s line of sight and see if he feels compelled to approach. THIS! If you notice a man you like, just put yourself in his line of sight if it's an appropriate situation for him to respectfully talk to you. But if you're like me and you have Chronic Bitch Face, remember to r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 03:38 PM
166

This is the biggest waste of time and energy. I think that sometimes it's easier to do this kind of stuff than to acknowledge that he's just not that into you. Denial is powerful and can make people do strange things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 08:46 PM
18

I feel you. Though feeling like that for me is mostly when I'm having fun with one of my hobbies. None of my girl friends want to do it with me, and it'd be amazing to have a lover by my side. But I just have my little sad moment and get back in it. Sometimes that's all you can do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 08:26 PM
7

Another guy replied to him and said "even water boarding couldn't have gotten that out of me" 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 08:24 PM
26

While I agree with being open and understanding, it was used against me by my ex. Being the predator he was, he saw that I barely knew anything about relationships or what respect from a boyfriend looked like, so he could turn any bad behavior of his into a "misunderstanding". That's how he eroded my self-confidence and made me think I was stupid for wanting to be treated fairly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 10:35 AM
68

I don't think anything even remotely heavy should be discussed over text This. No big discussion should ever be had over text. He needs to meet you, video chat, or call.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 10:30 AM
5

Thank you. I read this post and my jaw dropped. What the fuck. The performative femininity being pushed so hard on this sub bothers me a lot. And I'm someone who personally loves performative femininity. Excessive wealth seems to be a prerequisite for being a HVW. You can't be a middle or lower income woman and be HV. No no, only the rich are worthy of respect. It's classist AF here and I feel like I'm shouting into the void because I can't relate to the opulence, diamonds, and jewels all these …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 01:37 AM
5

I wonder why she got children, if she doesn't like them at all? To secure this prize of a man I think you answered your own question there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 01:15 AM
74

The kind of trash that some mothers co-habitate with out of self-hatred or desperation really saddens me. I am decidedly childfree but referring to the children that you both brought into this world as "rug rats" makes the situation here even more bleak and depressing. Those poor children didn't ask to be put into the middle of your failed relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 11:56 PM
16

I already found some and have fired off emails. I also see that you can volunteer to be an escort, which is someone who walks with the patient into the clinic to support and shield them from any protesters who may be present.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 01:14 AM
23

Thank you. I'm going to see if there's a similar organization in my area.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 10:57 PM
1

Oh my god, I can't believe it 😭😭😭 your content made me feel seen, validated, and understood. After a one-in-a-million chance I met the kind of man you would write about in your stories in real life, it changed me. He was literally a living myth. I found your stuff and it spoke to me. I've also shed the skin of who I was at that time and realised that in seeking a dominant partner I was actually just seeking someone I admired, respected, and saw as an equal. I am SO happy you are on FDS. I am so …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 12:45 AM
1

I don't PM anyone as I don't have messaging turned on myself, but are you really... you? If so, I wanted to say that I have read your hobby writing for the past 4 years and it helped me learn so much about myself and what I want in a relationship. In a way, it helped me get on track to find FDS. If I'm wrong and it's just a coincidence I'm sorry for the mixup!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 12:20 AM
2

I've tried to research exactly what the Pink Pill is but can't get a straight answer. There is an obvious divide between the Pink Pill community and FDS but it's not clicking for me for whatever reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 11:52 PM
46

I'm CRYING 😂😂😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 09:22 PM
24

I do NOT think this is real, but let's pretend it is. Let's also pretend he is actually clean, attractive, financially secure, and is capable of looking a woman in the eyes. Continuing to pretend all of the above are true, you can bet your life he is so fucked up mentally that he destroys every relationship he gets into. If someone is hot, clean, and has a good job, it's kinda standard that most people will be drawn to them from their appearance/outward character. So a person like this dude is p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 09:18 PM
11

It doesn't just affect romantic relationships, but my normal platonic ones as well and I hate it. Your comment made me feel so seen. I relate so much. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 10:46 AM
17

I agree with this. I want to attain enough peace within me to not need to be so stiff emotionally with someone I'd like to love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 04:11 AM
22

I'm comfortable discussing my flaws. I think most of us do more harm than good pretending we never go about something the wrong way. I am definitely introverted but, again, in therapy and through self-reflection I realised that certain traits of mine blend about as well as ice water in a hot glass. The things I want in a partner emotionally are not realistic unless I find someone with those same traits, which is very rare. Since identifying those traits of mine, I've also identified what is emot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 04:00 AM
2

ESH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 02:44 AM
35

Dismissive-avoidant-ish female here. I do #3. It's my way of controlling the situation and myself. Maybe this is the asshole in me, but I rationalize it like this: I'm not going off to a bar to get drunk. I'm not trying to go get laid. I'm not out being unfaithful or disrespecting my partner in any way. I'm just having a good time... alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 02:28 AM
19

Tiffany blue box or I’m not even thinking of saying yes Same here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 11:18 PM
87

he paid off some of my student loans with the difference That's an amazing gift. I like that a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 11:18 PM
9

The biggest mood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 11:17 PM
9

I love that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 11:16 PM
1

Too many girls get coerced into performing sexual acts due to lack of sexual education and naivety Excellent point, and I understand better now what you were trying to say!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 09:37 PM
52

dogwhistle abuse Wow. I love that analogy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 05:16 AM
220

Yet he loves the benefits that come with dating a "princess" And miss me with that putting off blame on his family BULLSHIT. I've had that done to me by family, friends, my ex, you name it. Person close to you doesn't like something you do, so that person lies, saying that someone else told them something negative about you doing that thing. They pretend like they're surprised that someone would say such a thing, or even that they're telling you as a favor so you don't embarrass yourself more. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 05:00 AM
213

YES. He's either a) speaking in code and using "towel" as a euphemism for something of even greater significance to the girlfriend or b) he's actually so mentally disturbed that he is genuinely jealous of an inanimate object. Either way it's a red flag and I hope she leaves him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 04:23 AM
336

I'm kind of wondering this too. His fixation on a hair towel is really odd. I wonder if the "towel" is representing something that's actually more important to her but he knows that if he tells the Internet what it really is they'll all tell him he's TA. Even though this, if true, still does make him TA. What makes me think this is him saying that he didn't want his family to think she was weird. Like, who would think a woman wrapping her hair up in a towel was weird or something to make fun of?…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 04:11 AM
13

'Hey! Can't chat right now, but I'll message or call you later' 😊 This one sentence says so much and I have used it so many times. It allows the other person feel seen and acknowledged AND lets them know that you are very busy... but aren't ignoring them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 04:04 AM
6

Good move. I do the same thing. I cannot/would not text while working. A lunch break text is a privilege he could unlock after upgrading to the boyfriend package. However, after work I do have time to say hello before I'm busy for about an hour with other things. Then after I do my laundry and make dinner in the evening I have time for some nice conversation or phone call. My cutoff time is 10:30pm. My point there is that after work, unless he's literally a surgeon on-call, he can text you back.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 03:59 AM
4

I hate that it has to be that way, especially with other women. A pickme will sell you out or throw you under the bus at a moment's notice for a chance to improve her social standing or for the attention of a male. I yearn for more female friendships but have to keep reminding myself to vet women for pickmeitis or general LV behavior just like I would vet a suitor. Both are vying for a spot to get access to my life and that's no small thing. There are still levels to this access like there are l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 03:11 AM
14

Joan of Arc and the myth of Lilith.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 11:16 PM
11

That "friend" of yours is NOT a friend, and I'm sorry she said that to you. In the future, you will never regret being a little more guarded with what you entrust people with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 10:22 PM
391

Even though I'm not as hard on man's appearance as a dealbreaker as most women here, the second a girl says that one of her requirements is that the dude has a 6-pack and good hair, LVM absolutely lose their shit. YOU'RE BODY-SHAMING MEN! DO THEY NOT REALISE HOW HYPOCRITICAL THIS IS?! HOW DARE A WOMAN EXPRESS PREFERENCES THAT I DON'T HAVE THE WILLPOWER TO MEET IN THE FIRST PLACE Like, buddy. We're women. Our appearance starts being criticized and controlled before we even know we're alive. The r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 11:58 AM
8

Part of my "deconstruction" of the idea of virginity as something made up rather than a physical state of being is to stay away from terminology like "loss" because I want to be mindful of victims of abuse. I want to avoid the shame-y words and phrases that I grew up hearing. Virginity is a personal decision with personal meaning. However, the risks you highlighted are very real. "Everything but" is, as you said, only to serve men. I want to discuss it to let girls know that it's ok to say no be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 11:46 AM
288

FOREST JESUS 😂😂😂 He's the feral cousin of the urban neo-hipster "woke" guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 07:03 PM
63

I have been considering writing a post about deconstructing virginity (virginity as a social construct and concept, what it is/isn't, determining if it's real or not for you, etc.) for girls who want to wait until marriage to have sex. I would discuss the harmful nature of purity culture and give a toned-down overview of the Madonna/Whore dichotomy, especially for girls struggling growing up in religious communities. I feel like there's a lack of guidance regarding this because it's rare to find…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 06:48 PM
53

Yeah, that's for sure the only reason he's single 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 06:29 PM
16

So true. I don't think this way about my first boyfriend. He wasn't right for me (and vice versa) but I don't feel enraged when reminded of him or like he stole time away from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 04:13 PM
50

its a huge accomplishment to wake up from all that socialization This is true and I'm so proud of you. Say it a little louder for our lurkers. You have the strength within you to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 03:30 PM
49

Gender politics aside, the babies are alive when they are ground up into pieces by a machine. They feel everything. It is horrific and inhumane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 02:23 AM
24

Let me say first that I am a cat lover but like all animals. I thought my ex loving his dog was a HV quality. He bought him expensive food, told me his rescue story, bought all kinds of toys. He told me about how important the dog was to him and how much he cares about him. I was like aww he's an animal lover like me! I was WRONG. Months into the relationship I realise the dog is unsocialized, has developed neuroses/bad behaviors due to being left at home alone too much, and is suffering from fl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 12:39 AM
22

he'll think "damn if I got an 8, I can get a 9!" I have never thought of this but it makes perfect sense. LVM are insatiable. Nothing is ever enough for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 10:24 PM
23

So that you don't get stalked or worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 10:17 PM
42

Everyone says This is Female Dating Strategy, we are not "everyone". Please read the Handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 10:16 PM
57

No, it's not a guarantee they will treat you better. Do you want a man who clings to you out of desperation because he thinks he has no other options? That doean't sound like love to me. Also, I REALLY encourage you to make an account that you use only for FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 10:14 PM
144

He never holds these little things over my head, never asks for anything in return. I commented just to highlight this. This is what makes his behavior high value. It's selfless, given freely, and you don't feel guilty or obligated to do something/act a certain way because of it. It just makes you want to keep being good to him. Wonderful, and congrats! ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 07:23 PM
27

men are going to have the strength advantage that a woman won’t. You made many excellent points here but this is the most important. Even the most roided out woman still has a chance of getting overpowered by an average male. Remember that it often takes several adult male police officers to take down 1 average guy who's off his face on drugs. The size and power distribution of muscle in women to men is... unfair to say the least. I'll just say again what you said, which is to play to your stren…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 10:25 PM
-2

I agree. Just leave. If he is a piece of shit then let him be a piece of shit by himself. Two wrongs (her cheating and whatever LV behavior he might've done) don't make a right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 09:37 PM
75

Unless you need this information for legal reasons, if a man is making you second-guess this kind of thing... just leave/let it go. Knowing if he lied to you about the status of his past (or current) marriage really isn't going to make you feel any better unless you need to nail him for something financially.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 04:22 AM
148

I think a lot of these recent posts by women asking about whether or not they should keep dating/talking to men whom their intuition is telling them to cease contact with illustrate that they still fear being alone. I don't believe that anyone, female or male, can date confidently/easily/healthily if they're terrified of being by themselves. Without confronting their fear of solitude they run from partner to partner, leaving each relationship more exhausted than the last. It's not sustainable an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 07:47 PM
18

Imagine a dude asked "do you need help putting on your mascara next time?" I'm HOLLERING 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 07:33 PM
13

let him tell on himself. Yes. The Dumb Fox Credo works wonders and it's not even a strategy you have to put any work into! Just listen. Unless he is a seasoned narcissist, the guy will almost always tell on himself early.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 06:41 PM
1

Personally I like his huge berth of lectures on psychology, philosophy and myth. I've found myself even healing from trauma through his lectures, my gal friend has too. Me too! I love his lectures so much. It's so fucking difficult to navigate a creator or an intellectual's actual, complex philosophy and then their followers' interpretation of it, thus the public perception of it. I really just want to ask another person who likes his stuff if you think this about him as well.... As you know, it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 03:05 AM
1

Yes. https://youtu.be/NV2yvI4Id9Q @5:39 onwards. He is mad at pads and tampons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 02:46 AM
4

I actually love listening to his taped academic lectures on religion, myth, child-rearing, archetypes, etc. and even his unique take on self-development. I truly learn a lot. However, if any of his students get him started by asking his views on a woman's place in society... he does out himself as a misogynist by saying that women entering the workforce was the event that crippled the economy and that we essentially need to get back in the kitchen and become mothers. He characterizes the feminin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 02:34 AM
17

It is better to be alone than to be embarrassed like this. YES. We need to value our pride as much as men value theirs. I won't have any man out here making me look stupid for being loyal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 02:14 AM
25

A TOE 💀💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 10:51 PM
17

He should not be asking about your past relationships on a first date. I'd just tell him you'd rather talk about something else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 10:42 PM
17

When these expectations are listed out in the form of rules it feels like having to micromanage the man. This. It sounds exhausting, and it feels a bit infantilizing. If we're married I just want him to act like a loyal, respectful adult both in my presence and when we're apart without me feeling like I have to spell out basic married-person conduct for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 10:34 PM
97

I agree and absolutely think it's a male fantasy. I even attended what I consider a party school and still didn't observe this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 08:50 PM
101

😂 lmao but for real, he is pathetic for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 05:35 PM
31

Going low contact with those people (and finding better individuals to surround yourself with) might be something to consider since they are not in your corner or supportive of your decision. And that's true. That shaming is born from their own anger at the fact that you have the self-respect to leave in the first place. They hate what they can't control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 04:44 PM
277

Yeah, I'm confused because she is conventionally attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 04:39 PM
485

We need more of these posts because it's not something any woman is socialized to consider. We all know about overtly abusive men and narcissists, but this is a level of insidiousness that I wasn't aware of before FDS. Men want guaranteed sex so they will pretend to be in a relationship with a woman who will give them that and not go anywhere, all the while not even liking or caring about her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 04:37 PM
51

EXCELLENT strategy omg. I love it. This also gives her the chance to call a friend if it's not going well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 04:28 PM
66

Congrats! I know how excited and nervous you're feeling. Go with the flow (so you don't stress too much) but make YOURSELF the #1 priority. If you are uncomfortable, say NO. There will be other guys. He might pout or get pissy with you when you establish a physical boundary. You may get anxious and think about letting him cross that boundary because you don't want to make him mad, but I repeat: There will be other guys. Again, my advice is to look out for #1: YOU.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 04:26 PM
72

the second he starts acting sketchy and you even think of hiring a PI, it’s over. This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 04:20 PM
12

I am stuck. I tend to think it's an impossible situation. You're only stuck if your self-esteem is so low that you think you deserve a man who doesn't respect women at a basic level. And I do empathize with you. I feel sad about thinking that maybe I won't ever be with a man who truly, wholly loves only me. But it's better than the alternative which is being disrespected, cheated on, lied to, and manipulated by a pornsick man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 02:28 PM
17

we're expected to accommodate and even encourage our bleak, sick reality. I've noticed. Many women have a very defeatist mindset about this and it's disturbing. Why do more of us not have a WGTOW-if-necessary mentality when it comes to porn? If I don't meet a man who isn't porn-diseased then I'm staying single. There are plenty of pickmes who will tolerate it and be sexual servants to the LV cheaters who want to have their cake and eat it too. If that's the state of the game then I don't want to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 02:18 PM
22

My favorite thing to do is exercise when I need physical release from some of that energy and frustration. I go with a friend or call one to chat while I'm out so I don't start obsessing over my feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 01:59 AM
60

I left Christianity and am now an atheist. Congratulations. Often there is no relationship more abusive than the one you have with religion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 11:21 PM
22

Me too, same as the other commenter. You summarized it well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 11:15 PM
39

Excellent point. I was following this girl on Instagram and she seemed so flawless and gorgeous and beautiful in every single post. I was so happy for her but at the same time I was sad because I felt like I could never be as pretty as she was. Then one day I saw tagged photos of her (posted by someone else) and I was shocked. She was still obviously her same beautiful self, but I realised she had been using filters for all of her photos and I had no idea. Her skin wasn't flawless, her chin not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 11:11 PM
53

Idk, I'd really love to be in a relationship with a man and am not ashamed of feeling this way. I think that in a good relationship with a rare HVM I would benefit a lot. But there is a quote that sticks with me, and I repeat it to myself whenever I get to feeling like I want to lower my standards because my heart and body ache to be held in the arms of a man... I may think of you softly from time to time, but I will cut off my hand before I reach for you again. I won't exchange my self-respect,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 10:32 PM
66

If you watch porn you will see I didn't watch it. Only after discovering FDS did I learn that the majority of porn was so scary, violent, and abusive. I thought I was into BDSM without even realising that that in itself was a byproduct of the porn culture you described.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 05:56 PM
146

I like this a LOT. I am sooooo attracted to disciplined men. Men who have self-control and do not fall into excess are at the top for me. I have shaped my life to try and reflect the quality of discipline and want the same from my partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 05:52 PM
134

Yep. You'll do the most and end up with the least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 05:22 PM
92

"Bitch, did I ask you what your opinion is on the music I like?" This energy forever 😂 I love it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 05:12 PM
85

Thank you for your addition. I didn't even want to go into the depravity ethics of porn because that's its own post entirely. I was responding in part to the initial personal aspect of discovering your SO is porn-diseased.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 05:02 PM
12

That would've been the correct response, yes. But the girl I was when I was with him didn't know any better. She was naïve and trusting to her own detriment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 03:49 PM
19

There's a meme template comic of a person riding a bicycle and then grabbing a stick and putting it between the spokes on the front wheel. Predictably, the next panel in the comic shows the person lying on the ground clutching their leg in pain after having been thrown off the bike. There is a speech bubble above them and the joke is that they blame someone/something they hate who had absolutely nothing to do with the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 02:19 PM
29

Honestly I didn't even read your whole post because my rule is that if I think about going to FDS to ask about someone's behavior then it's a sign for me to block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 02:07 PM
63

I agree. Him not supporting you and taking up for you in these unprompted attacks isn't a good look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 02:03 PM
33

That’s why they’re so shocked when a woman is capable of putting her emotions aside and do what’s best for her: leave his dumb ass. This. My ex went nuclear the day I left, cursing me and saying every hurtful thing he could. I almost didn't recognize him. It wasn't a normal reaction to a breakup. Normal people are sad (I was crying for days even though I was the one who left). He reacted with shock, anger, and disgust. How dare I have self-respect? The audacity of me to say I will be better alon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 01:58 PM
53

Big mood. My ex was supposedly divorced. I asked him if it was finalized and everything (because I have every right to not want to date a man who isn't legally divorced), and he told me to "mind your business."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 01:52 PM
0

👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 11:53 PM
4

Good for you! Looking at your image helps with grounding and getting in touch with your own power. I love seeing other women have fierce self-love. We're taught that acknowledging we're good-looking will make us shallow or mean or rude. It won't. Only if you're that way to begin with will you ever treat others poorly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 11:52 PM
13

And that's your opinion. But me? Hell yes. I have paintings, portraits, and photographs of myself hanging up. I AM egotistical, and for good reason. I'm beautiful. I'm hot. I'm fairylike, a maiden, a princess of the moon. I am a daughter of Lilith. I was given an amazing appearance and sometimes staring into the mirror just isn't enough. I want to immortalize my own gorgeousness AND have it forever for my own viewing pleasure, the opinions of family be damned. If someone has kids they should kno…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 08:29 PM
16

I have/I am enough on my own. I just need one good partner who knows how to treat a lady. I invite you to explore the polarity of these two sentences and how they reflect your view of your own strength.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 03:27 PM
107

It also gives scrotes power when we engage them. Acknowledging their stupidity and clapping back gives weight to their words and actions. This to infinity. This needs to be a pinned post. They are throwing temper tantrums and want attention for it. Ignoring them is the safest and most powerful thing you can do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 11:58 PM
8

If it's makeup it is a cry for help. If it's real it's definitely evil and also a cry for help. I sometimes view this kind of "kinky" stuff as self-h@rm by proxy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 01:49 AM
29

I was like her. She absolutely needs help. I am not her, though, so I can only speak for myself. But I liked bruises and accepted them from my ex because I thought I deserved them. It was a way for me to bring my psychological pain into the material so that I could see/self-validate that I wasn't just imagining my own suffering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 01:46 AM
62

mUh DiCk 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 11:45 PM
14

Not to be a downer but there's no reason they shouldn't be married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 11:41 PM
32

I replied "do not message me again or I will blow this the fuck up." and deleted WhatsApp. I am so sick of men chasing/scaring us off apps that we enjoy. I am also sorry for what you've been through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 11:31 PM
158

As soon as I was old enough to comprehend the Whore/Madonna dichotomy I realised that regardless of my behavior I lose to men either way. If you are discerning with your sexuality, you are criticized as a prude yet simultaneously hailed as a Madonna. If you elect to increase the frequency with which you engage in sex, you are criticized as a Whore yet simultaneously praised for your openness. Either way, men think you do whatever you do to please them. It is no wonder young girls are confused ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 11:29 PM
35

Someone please pin this to the top. Take my offbrand gold award pls: 🏅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 08:01 PM
32

Exactly. The love I have is boundless. It is a limitless resource, and if the wrong person finds that out they will harm me for it. I have to protect myself fiercely and it hurts me to have to say no or distance myself sometimes. But I would rather be lonely than be used and exploited. I understand your struggles and I am sorry for what you've endured.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 07:59 PM
21

A lot of newbies still operate in terms of ✨fairness✨, forgetting that men are playing by their own, man-made rules. Oh my god. This. I was trying to articulate exactly how I felt about this, and you summarized it in one sentence. I value fairness. But dating is not fair. Men are generally not fair. Me going and trying to be fair, understanding, compromising and cutting a man some slack is 90% of the time an open invitation for abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 07:51 PM
71

This this this. Thank you. Men with fucked up mental health can be some of the most manipulative people you'll ever meet. Constant pity parties and guilt trips. They will weaponize their mental illness to get you to do what they want, especially if you're an empath or highly sensitive. I have fucked up mental health myself (something I feel like we are afraid to talk about on FDS) but I have taken accountability for it. It's not my partner's job to fix me. I have a therapist for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 07:35 PM
109

I laughed in his face and said "No you didn't" I'm crying 💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 04:49 AM
17

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 02:25 AM
49

Exactly! Sometimes it's not even about you specifically. Their insecurity is triggered by literally anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 01:42 AM
230

You don't deserve to be with someone who already hates you and is trying to cut you down. Main takeaway right there. A HV trait is interest with simultaneous respect. This goes for female friendships as well. The other person, upon learning about a passion, hobby, or talent of yours, should politely inquire more about it. (and you the same for them) "Wow, how long have you been doing xyz?" "I've never been, what would you recommend there?" Those are just two examples.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 01:33 AM
2

Wow, thank you for the encouragement. I will see if I can get my words right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 12:33 AM
2

You must always protect their image and ego but they can degrade yours and publicly embarrass you at will Yes. I won't let loyalty make a fool out of me again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 10:01 PM
31

YES! They are so offended when you demand respect and loyalty. "What do you mean I can't basically pay you to stay with me and make me look good while I demean and belittle you privately in addition to trying to whore around on you?!?!?!" Also I know that a guy can still be hung up on an ex-gf, but I will NEVER go near a divorced man again. The baggage of an ex-wife is way too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 12:26 PM
112

This is my ex. 100%. To a T. His gaslighting aside, the gaslighting I did to myself because of the 98/2 ratio you described was insane. I believed that I had to be legally insane for thinking that such an amazing, kind, generous man could ever secretly be out to harm and abuse me behind closed doors. These men are horrifying because they're smarter than your obvious LVM. They know that no one will believe you once it's over. However, my good will did run out and I did walk because, thanks to my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 10:57 AM
49

Yes. I was trying to have a conversation with another woman on social media the other day when a man addressed me with an insult and his opinion, whining about what I'd said. I caught myself typing up a funny little quip in response but then deleted it because he wouldn't get it and because it's way funnier to imagine him salivating at the chance to lock a woman into an argument and then getting denied 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 10:45 AM
42

This this this this this. Thank you. It's very hurtful to realise that he's not really listening and that the whole cOmMuNiCaTiOn thing was a lie. They know what they're doing, they just want to watch you exhaust yourself begging them to treat you right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 10:40 AM
431

I like your take a lot and agree completely. I think the reason some women entertain LVM is because they like to think they got the last word, that they're "teaching LVM a lesson", that they're "standing up for themselves", etc. when truly all that's happening is that some random scrote is leeching off the energy of a woman. LVM don't care what kind of attention they're getting from a woman, whether she's fawning all over him or rightfully calling him a misogynist, just as long as a woman's focu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 03:27 AM
14

I also agree with asking to text thing in general. Like, I pretty much have a Snapchat account because I am fine with texting (as long as voice calls are also used). It makes me feel safer than handing out even the phone-app number I have. I hope my advice wasn't too harsh, I just don't want to see anyone having their time wasted by a guy who won't ask a woman out on a real date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 01:27 AM
112

He tried the ole I’ll come over and you cook a meal Personally, this is when I would've dropped him. If I keep having to tell a guy that his suggestions are not appropriate, it's not a good sign. He's trying to put forth the least effort he can to yield the highest reward with you. He tried the let’s text instead of using the app. I said no, and he was fine with that. Green flag I guess. I said no and that I only cook for someone when things get serious. He was fine with that. Also, those are no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 12:03 AM
3

Thank you for commenting. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 11:05 PM
17

Yes, thank you for expanding on that! you can either be a married, dependent, family woman or a wealthy, high-powered CEO #girlboss or else you have no value. I love FDS but this is exactly how FDS makes me feel (that I'm not HV if I'm not wealthy). I don't own my own company, I don't have a Ph.D, I don't bring in 6 figures, etc.... I want to make a post about it but I'm nervous about how it would be received because I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't fit into either of those categories. Y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 05:04 PM
4

I agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 01:25 AM
136

I absolutely love this and find it inspiring. However, I regret that it is tinged with materialism. Money DOES buy happiness and peace of mind, but it makes me sad that some of these women (myself included) are feeding into the idea that only if you look rich/wealthy are you worthy of admiration and respect. The woman who bought her mom a ring, though ❤❤❤❤❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 12:56 AM
9

Amen. Those are communal narcissists at work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 11:52 PM
57

I understand. My father also passed away. Please take this to heart: get used to lying to protect yourself. I know it's uncomfortable and annoying, but it's in your own best interest every single time. You may feel bad about lying because it feels dishonest but you have to remind yourself that, unlike most men, you're lying to protect yourself, not to abuse, manipulate, or make someone think that you're something you're not. Or you may feel angry about having to lie because you want recognition …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 06:57 PM
82

I feel like I’m not interesting enough That's the crux of your issue. Explore why you feel the need to compete with others to be more interesting in the first place, rather than just being as you are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 01:31 PM
208

YES SIS YES. I am so proud of you for being so smart. For daughters of divorce or misfortune: If you don't know or don't have contact with your father, lie and say that you do. In the initial vetting stage (though vetting never ends) it is important that he thinks you have both parents. Men only respect other men, and him having a perceived sense of male-to-male accountability will scare off scrotes like this who are out to take advantage of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 01:23 PM
54

I am not autistic but I did the same thing as you! I love mascara but wasn't comfortable with the way I looked with more makeup on. So I focused on skincare and am so happy. It gives me the same confidence as makeup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 12:56 AM
8

Modcloth (1920s-1950s) and The Hippie Shake (1960s-1970s) are two great clothing brands that give a lot of outfit inspiration on their websites. You can also try looking through a site called "Lookbook(dot)nu" for outfits that regular people have put together themselves. You can do keyword searches for the styles (like "vintage" or "bohemian") you like. It helps me with taking the guesswork out of what looks good and what doesn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 12:28 AM
42

pick mes saying women aren’t finding men to love them because they aren’t feminine enough Yes. And this is so damaging in so many ways. They have a very one-dimensional view of what constitutes femininity in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 10:46 AM
53

It's very cringe. A lot of them peddle the narrative to unsuspecting women that engaging in performative femininity (which I personally enjoy!) will guarantee they'll get a good man. It won't. You looking like a 50's Barbie ain't gonna make him act right, sis 🤷‍♀️ A "feminine energy pickme" is basically just a tradfem pickme repackaged to appeal to the spiritual community. They think that submissiveness and meekness will attract strong, protective men, when in reality it will attract more domest…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 10:39 AM
80

Morticia and Gomez Addams.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 03:58 AM
89

Yes, a massive red flag. It's a pattern I've noticed with men. The girlfriend will post him/them together, but his profile will have nothing indicating he's happily in a relationship. LVM do this because they don't ever want to pass up or miss out on an opportunity for attention/sex from other women, and advertising that he's taken would deter way too much of that attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 11:30 PM
52

the fact he would tell you he's a virgin at the end of the first date Yes. Sooooo inappropriate and weird to bring up something of such an intense sexual nature the first time you meet someone. It's obviously something he's bothered by and insecure about. I'd stay away for this reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 10:21 PM
195

Not always 🙃 There is a phrase within the BDSM community called "topping from the bottom" which means a sub being (what they define as) manipulative, disobedient, or pushy to get what they want. So really, at any time, if your abusive power-tripping DoMiNaNt doesn't like you saying no or denying him, he can dismiss and demean you by saying you're topping from the bottom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 12:24 AM
81

I really enjoyed your honesty, logic, and explanation of your thought processes. Thank you. While I have never been in a poly relationship, when I was most naïve and green my ex once "jokingly" asked if I would be ok with a threesome. I said never. He was shocked and a little angry, as if it was some great affront to his God-given right as a Man to be a whore in what I thought was a monogamous relationship. I think that encapsulates your tagline "the normalization of dissatisfaction". My thought…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 04:16 AM
181

Do not allow your boyfriend to buy you a phone and put you on HIS plan. He can buy you a phone if he wants to show you he cares about you, but the plan must be in YOUR NAME, passcoded, and only accessible to you. If he wants to pay for your monthly plan he can give you cash or one of those reloadable visa gift cards, but under no circumstances should any of his credit cards be linked to YOUR account. Be prepared to pay for it on your own should you break up. Why? If you are under his plan, he ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 10:48 PM
59

I really wanted to fuck her but she hurt my feelings I'm crying 😂 LVM in a nutshell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 01:58 AM
415

The guy with dwarfism, I like his outlook. It's healthy and positive. He's not whining or self-pitying. Confidence and self-assuredness is attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 12:27 AM
10

What??????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 09:10 AM
97

Time and time again I see men who don't want to be married get married and then refer to their wives by disrespectful phrases like "ball and chain" as if they were forced to do it. There are plenty of pickmes out there who will stay with a guy and have sex with him indefinitely. There are plenty of pickmes who have no standards or self-esteem and could be made into forever girlfriends/bangmaids. But men are always trying to punch above their weight and so they get a woman who's just a liiiiiiiit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 12:24 AM
47

When I thought my ex was going to marry me, his reaction to me telling him about the kind of ring I wanted was surprising to my terribly naive self. After I informed him I wouldn't be having sex with him unless we were married, he asked me what kind of rings I liked. I told him I liked my dream ring (a cost of 5k~, so in the realm of quality rings honestly not that much) and nothing else. Keep in mind that this man flaunted his supposed wealth any chance he got, saying that some expensive things…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 09:30 AM
61

This. I never want to be with a man who thinks he loves me based on what I do for him or how I make him feel rather than who I am as a person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 09:58 PM
17

The last two. And we never even had sex. I did not know these were, like, BAD bad. I wish someone had told me and that I hadn't been led to believe that kind of behavior was acceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 09:56 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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