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turtleshame Archive

View 0 posts and 82 comments by turtleshame on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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156

This radicalization is intentional. Yes, there were always fringe weirdo women haters in every community, but there was a deliberate move to organize and radicalize young wh.t men online into a movement. The thru lines here are not hard to see. When redpill exploded on Reddit you could see who they promoted and supported. What causes were linked, what websites were sanctioned, what “news” organizations were promoted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 03:55 AM
50

Because 40% of cops admit they’re DVers themselves. Kind of hard to arrest someone for something that you support.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 03:15 AM
11

Here’s the Clift notes anyway: Unattractive school librarian with cute wife sets up a website that is useful to fanfic writers in fandom that explodes in size this website is basically just a collection of all the animals that appeared in the books - he gets invited to some fan “conferences” I think they were organized as quasi academic conferences for tax purposes or maybe to justify researching navel gazing - anyway becomes famous in these fan circles It’s important to remember that at this po…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 07:12 PM
3

Would it be considered dozing if I linked to an article about the librarian who got sued by JK Rowling? It’s public information. It’s also a great example of male depravity - like, this man is a case study all on his own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 07:07 PM
44

Another woman came forward with an identical story about Lance. I would guess this story has not ended. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but don’t fuck men with clout in female-centric spaces. They’re all trash. Every single one of them. Female spaces feel empowering because for some of us it’s the first time we’ve allowed ourselves to exhale and feel like we don’t have to be on guard. Predators know this. Instinctively or consciously, they know. They seek out women in these spaces because t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 04:55 PM
53

Cat Marnell is fucking evil. Her whole shtick is glamorizing dangerous behavior like she’s some kind of Hunter S. Carrie Bradshaw. Having seen her in action irl it was more bum fights than SATC. Hunter S at least had agency - Cat Marnell is a tool. A messy, ridiculous, embarrassing tool that has funded her addiction through sex work and writing pick-me propaganda for children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 12:59 PM
35

His pattern was to contact his exes every so often - it was an issue when we were together 🤡🤡🤡 - so when we broke up, I blocked him everywhere. He’d need help to look me up, and he was never very technically inclined anyway, I set up the computers in our home & what not - he would have to get help to find my new information. What he did do instead, because abusers don’t just groom victims, they groom alibis and cover - was get mutual “friends” to suddenly start bringing him up when, coincidental…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 02:31 PM
35

“Unmet emotional needs” is just a fancy way of saying emotionally stunted and basically only capable of relating to women sexually or maternally. The patriarchy hurts men and women. Men get told to suppressing emotions and to channeling their self worth into their careers, which is toxic af and of course is going to shut them out of understanding their emotions, cause depression, alienation. Then their hormonal needs are being met with porn porn porn, once again removing another path for human c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 05:56 AM
2

Of course - under the patriarchy, women don’t have our own power, we have the borrowed power of their male “protectors” (protect us from who? Oh right, other men the dangerous ones 🙄) that we access by leveraging our sexual appeal. Colorism dictates a hierarchy - there’s that weaponized categorizational thinking at work - white purity at the top of the pyramid, and Black women at the bottom. We see those gross neonatal beauty standards, and also the destruction of white purity as a kink. White w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 07:45 PM
2

But if something has been co-opted (by let’s be honest, by white folks who think not getting a discount at Starbucks is oppression) then it needs to be returned. Same with fragility. It’s white fragility and while I agree it’s good shorthand to describe male reactions to being called to carpet, & have been guilty of this, it’s not ok to have our terminology rendered useless because lazy people use it. Opportunistic / abusive people love to co-opt and dilute the language of oppressed groups speci…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 04:31 PM
22

Write it in emails DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT Send the emails as if HR is your friend, but reiterate what was said: So, “After the last time we spoke he is escalating his behavior.” Always follow up any verbal conversation with email. Summarize the meeting, Ask how you should handle it. Honestly though, be looking for another job. Even if they do shitcan him, there will be fallout.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 02:46 PM
6

I agree with a lot of the sentiment here, but the term “Intersectionality” comes from Kimberle Crenshaw & CRT originally, and means almost the opposite of compartmentalization. Intersectionality describes the way oppressive systems overlap and cannot be separately examined, especially wrt identity. I try and credit her when it comes up because Black academics do not get the recognition they deserve. I absolutely agree that the phenomena you describe: the categorization, labeling etc. is huge pro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 02:31 PM
24

Anti racist porn, lol ok. Did you “Sure Jan” them? I’m trying to even imagine how that would work. There’s so many intersecting issues that the final product would be so incredibly bespoke I doubt it would be anything other than a novelty - not for a white or male gaze not for white profit not reinforce any white supremacy norms not just white purity fully empower & enrich the performers the performers consent has to be free of any social or economic coercion. That alone is currently impossible.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 06:27 PM
150

Hmmm. My experience is based on growing up in a pretty radical city in the USA. I was a product of 2nd wave feminism. Both my mother and grandmother were active feminists. I remember the activist energy when I was young. We weren’t just fighting for women, my mom took me to protests and meetings for a variety of justice causes; police brutality, AIM & Wounded Knee, slum lord & eviction stuff, equal rights amendment. I remember picketing and a sense of hopefulness to the future. The end of the 2n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 03:52 PM
58

That sub is honestly a great cautionary tale. Vet your man, maintain independence, make your own money or look what happens 👀 I sometimes wonder if it’s a creative writing exercise, because their husbands are so cartoonishly, buffoonishly, evil. I guess it’s a testament to the forgiving nature of women that the entire sub isn’t a sinister mix of Dexter fantasies and home spun body disposal advice. And honestly - if they were men? A lawyer would get them off because their spouses are such unbelie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 04:51 AM
29

There was also this disgusting Weinstein rumor about Blake. She was supposedly the new interest while poor Gretchen Mol was the discarded person. While I don’t think anyone has to share their stories of harassment, I think lying about them protects abusers. Uma didn’t have to give details, and she didn’t protect Weinstein. Neither did Angie or Alba. Their anger speaks. Lively otoh has specifically denied Weinstein harassed her in any way, while at the same time as sharing her “me too moment” abo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 12:23 PM
1

You’re not alone. And even to so-called “good” ones weren’t always all that great. I had an ex who was good about flowers, but it was because he was bad about cheating. Another ex gave me a bouquet he clearly picked from someone’s yard. 🤡🤡🤡 My husband - he had to be told that flowers were important. Because I am important to him, he listened. Thank god I stopped accepting so little from people who take so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 05:02 PM
181

I would just try calling from a hospital pay phone, especially if I was already in that industry. He’ll either answer or it’ll go to VM, which will give a name.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 04:49 PM
12

I use the Gill Sans font to make a similar point. Eric Gills was an absolute monster yet his fonts are some of the most widely used in the English speaking world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 06:17 PM
73

I know a couple who named their kid after Tom Brady. His choice, of course. She’s the worst. One of those marriage councilors who tells women to suck it up for their man & hides their fundie affiliation. She support$ them so he can try failed business after failed business 🤡 I kind of wondered if this was them. Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 03:32 PM
33

NOT MY EX - he thought he was courting me I don’t remember everything, but a few things stuck in my mind because they were so horrifically petty. He thought one woman was disrespectful because she rescheduled their date and, according to him, flirted with the waiter. As he told it, she agreed to have sex, at least initially, but he “made sure she wasn’t having fun,” and followed that with a lot of bragging about about the damage he did with his dick. He liked to present these narratives as proof…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 11:53 PM
57

That last paragraph gave me chills. I have a situation I need to solve, and damn if this isn’t a good explanation of why it’s developed the way it did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 08:32 PM
3

How quickly is he showing this much affection? Always be wary of love bombing and relationship rushing. That said, my husband brings me tea in bed every morning because about a decade ago I made an off-hand remark about my friend’s father who had a similar ritual and how sweet I thought it was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 06:50 PM
447

He admitted he was brutal to women he didn’t care about in bed, but he was like bragging about his size when he said it, and then explained in great length why they deserved it. Thank god we never had sex or - at least in my mind even dated. He may think differently, scrotes live in their own realities that exist outside of reality. He was an absolute piece of shit. He was my boss’s golf buddy & started lurking & then taking the “office” out to happy hour, but somehow it was always just me. The …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 04:38 PM
79

So many NoT aLL mEn comments after ONE person said men are ridiculous. Like, tell me you’re fragile AF without saying you’re fragile AF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 02:45 PM
4

Caught me before my coffee, LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 03:18 PM
24

Yuuuuup I mean, this has alway been how it’s been for poor Black and brown women. It wasn’t a crisis until middle class Meredith realized something she might want someday could conceivably be unavailable to her. Now she wants to speak to the damn manager - welp, it’s your husband, your dad, your brother and YOURSELF who did this to you. Don’t pretend you don’t have at least one ass backwards relative who you grit your teeth when they talk about “THOSE PEOPLE” or immigrants or maybe drops hard R’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 02:54 PM
7

I’m a reformed pick-me who went through hell and got extremely lucky. I realize now that despite my mom’s terrible upbringing and her amazing escape, she has a lot of pick-me behaviors towards men. I read because it’s nice to see people with similar views, because I’m really rooting for younger women to avoid the mistakes I made, and because of my own pick-me tendencies I’m not only always vetting non, I’m always vetting myself. One thing I’m working on thanks to FDS is fatFIRE independent of my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 01:47 PM
46

Well it warms my heart that you continue to deny him the narcissist supply he clearly needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 01:33 PM
73

Yet when men’s depravity actually starts effecting them (looking at YOU Texas) suddenly it’s Black women’s jobs to use years of organization skills to bail them out and help protest bECaUsE nOw ItS iMpOrTaNt & wHy dOn’t U sUpPoRt WoMeN? Welp Gee, Ashleigh-Jane, now that you realize you DO actually need feminism, you’re going to jump right into some bell hooks and recognize the connections between sexism, racism and classism, and how this imperialist white supremacist capitalist hierarchy is inte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 01:26 PM
1

Ah gotcha. Social conditioning / divide & conquer politics is one helluva drug, aren’t they?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 04:38 PM
1

I don’t think that’s what anyone here is saying though, or at least, that isn’t what I’m saying. I don’t think the systematic misogyny of our can be dismantled without addressing white supremacy. Scratch at the surface of racism and you find misogyny, and vice versa. If people have a knee-jerk recoil against racism but not misogyny, well a) it’s probably because they don’t really understand what racism is and are part of the problem, and b) I have zero issue pointing out the links between sexism…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 04:12 PM
2

I’m not sure what you’re getting at, and I don’t want to jump to conclusions, could you explain?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 09:57 PM
61

What's really scary though is the fine line between the tradwife stuff and white supremacist stuff!! That's what eventually snapped me out of it - I had a Twitter account to post and share other tradwife stuff and a LOT of racist and WS accounts started following me and I deleted my account and noped out!! This is a really good take. The more we recognize how much LV / toxic masculinity is driven by white supremacy, the better we can understand how insidious it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 09:55 PM
109

I think tradwifism is bad risk management. Also, I think tradwives lying liars who lie, and can fuck right off. Look, there’s always going to be someone for whom that shit works out: they fall over backwards into a marriage with a HVM and live out their regressive fantasy without ending up trapped in a coercive or abusive situation. But chances are, that ain’t YOU, sis. Chances are it’s also not them, and they’re lying through their facetuned social media. Sorry to say, I’m betting you don’t shi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 09:14 PM
36

Just a small public service, but a vocal bully has taken over my community social media pages on Facebook and spams them with LV content. This page is supposed to be: Julie’s cat is missing. The page is not supposed to be: rambling memes about Politics. His last post was the one that broke the proverbial camel’s back, and now several women have started calling out his misogyny and racism publicly and it is glorious. He has no idea how to react because on the one hand, it’s attention from women, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 06:43 PM
18

Because these same men wouldn’t bother basic manners unless they wanted to fuck you. These types of Men put women in categories: women they want to fuck, and those they don’t. Woman who aren’t fuckable aren’t worth spit to them, often not even basic manners. They assume everyone is like them, therefore if YOU are just behaving like a normal, decent human to them you must want to fuck them. Ew. Men also grossly overestimate their own appeal and importance, so any obvious disparity between you and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 05:28 PM
59

Exaggerating: aka start measuring from their buttholes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 03:58 AM
2

Apparently linking news articles about this is pissing off scrotes: Not only did he rape her, he also beat her up and threw her out the house. She was out front on the lawn, unconscious. A girl passing by is the one who saw her and took her to the hospital. The alleged rapist fled to Mexico with his family and is currently vacationing there to avoid jail time. As seen in the video, members of the frat took a snap video of them laughing and mocking the protesters. For more information about the c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 07:52 PM
49

This is excellent advice. It also shows you how he was raised to view and treat women. If dad cheats, treats mom like a door mat, mom does all of the emotional labor - those patterns run deep. Beware too of the overly likable father and seemingly cold mom. I’ve noticed that it’s often the case when one person is carefree & likable, but the other seems like a bitter husk it’s because the “happy” one has outsourced all of their stress onto their partner, for example the perineal cheater & the pick…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 07:43 PM
60

This is a good take.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 02:56 PM
11

I don’t think progressive / liberal / well-read are synonymous, so already I’m probably going to get some backlash here, but here’s my attempt at a nuanced answer. On my scale of who I’d rather be trapped in an elevator with, I’ll pick the well-read lefty over the MAGA mullet man. I know I’ll enjoy the conversation more, and can short-hand basic concepts to leap to more stimulating topics. My conversations with more conservative men have centered around them trying to draw me into their epistemi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 02:38 PM
19

So one thing about being the mom of a boy trying to raise a HVM is recognizing how toxic the social emotional expectations are for boys, and how young the brainwashing starts. This means changing how I interact with men, and trying to model healthy emotional behavior. This is incredibly hard. As women, we have very good life/death reasons for choosing to interact with men the way we do. There are a million day to day interactions where it would be easier to let it slide, let men continue to take…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 06:08 PM
123

She got the sheets, he got the box springs to build his window fort?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 10:11 PM
46

Honestly, if a scrote ever dumps his fears on you like this, remain silent. Do not do the dance of male ego soothing. There’s no injury quite so devastating as his own imagination.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 11:02 PM
14

I had the (un)fortunate privilege of growing up around some sausage makers of developing countries theory/policy makers - and the idea that women were fully human, much less deserved a seat at the table was a foreign concept. The longer I spend on this planet, the more I become convinced it’s not all that complicated. Empower and educate poor women. Eliminate extreme wealth stratification. That’s it. The rest will sort itself out. Everything else is PR noise created by people who have a fuckton …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 06:08 PM
59

Unfortunately the US chose the side based on whose loyalty could be bought - and it changes. Remember, Reagan met with the Taliban in the White House. Pompeo arranged the release of soon-to-be Taliban President Mullah Baradar at Trump’s request, and met with him. The US has leant this Gilead hellscape legitimacy for years. A matriarchy is unlikely to ever fit the model of a good foreign policy partner because as a group we will prioritize our community and our children over whatever the US goals…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 02:38 PM
84

Of course the band they bonded over was 21 pilots: whiny-ass privileged emo bordering on preachy christian rock with the lyrical depth of a puddle. At least it’s a band that fits her maturity level, at his age - well, y’all know. Alternative headline: “Teacher Trawls Teen online, grooms girl 28 years younger into sex servitude” It needs work, but it has the alliteration & uses the word sex, which the Sun usually loves. Maybe for the weekend edition 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 06:45 PM
275

Story time! My aunt married a NVM with adult children. He convinced her to combine their assets into a living trust that would ultimately benefit only his children, as she doesn’t have any. She figured this was fair, despite herself having way more in assets, because he is a highish profile person (think actor / professional athlete) with residual income from his previous career. Or so she thought. After he thought he had her locked down, the truth comes out. NVM is NVM sin every way. He pits fa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 05:09 PM
179

This is simplified, but it’s well know in among people who study developing countries that the biggest impact you can make to an economy is to put education and financial independence in the hands of women. Women will spend money they earn back into their community; for example by building schools and resources for their families. Men OTOH will spend most of the development aid on themselves, for example on prostitution or trips to cities, even when they have families. TL:DR Development projects…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 04:17 PM
12

*onus - from the Latin “load” or “burden”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 02:21 PM
2

They’re generally good on equality in other areas, but less that 22% of Dutch women have full time jobs. Maternity benefits are quite liberal, but the expectation is there that the woman will do the lions share of the childcare. Its just assumed and can be quite a surprise that your otherwise liberal minded SO thinks you’ll be cutting your hours to take care of the kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 06:06 AM
3

Join a rowing club in the Netherlands, there’s one in most cities. There’s also amazing wind surfing, if that looks interesting to you. Play your music. There are plenty of Dutch men who enjoy rowing and whatever music you’re into - either is a male dominated environment & should encourage male competition. Be aware though, Dutch men can trend very conservative on gender based divisions of household labor & child care. Source: am Dutch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 12:39 AM
11

You can always make more money, but you can’t turn back time. Go home. Take care of grandma. Get the degree. Delete that ridiculous dumpster fire of a mooch from your phone and never look back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 06:23 AM
2

I’ve lived in both conservative small towns and big cities, in the USA and overseas, and I’ve yet to live anywhere people think it’s appropriate to shove people for their opinion - except when I lived in New Hampshire, and that opinion was: “the Yankees are the greatest” which is just asking for trouble. I have seen debates / protests / whatevers get heated up, fights break out - and it was always, always someone had gone into the situation wanting a fight. But whatever, that’s low value behavio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 06:05 AM
2

This is a terrible experience and I’m sorry you went through it. I believe women too. People who push back on that usually have a nefarious reason, and I don’t have the tome or inclination to dive into what it might be. And I think men who claim to be feminists should be a yellow flag at least. Sex pos feminist FWB? Hard next. Fuck that guy (only don’t, cause he sucks). Calling yourself a feminist is literally a seduction tactic you’ll see on PUA sites: claim to be a feminist so women will think…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 08:41 AM
10

It’s your opinion... there are certain things liberals are super ok with You don’t have to use the word stereotype to make one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 07:59 AM
18

Agreed. Also, your hobbies should enhance your life as well. Your hobbies are a great way to meet people who share interests with you, so find hobbies that are active, and artistically, intellectually or physically stimulating. So like, going to bottomless mimosa brunches is technically a hobby (and a cry for help?) but what does it do to enhance your life? While say, playing golf is active, it’s physical and it puts you in male dominated spaces which tends to work in your favor. Men will peacoc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 07:56 AM
12

Hell yes! Weight lifting is such a great sport for women. Congratulations on your pull up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 07:41 AM
8

You just accused me of stereotyping conservatives ...and then stereotyped liberals as poly porn sick leather daddies? Maybe you should rethink your biases. Or check out the most searched porn terms in liberal vs. conservative areas. Just sayin’ That aside, I don’t think there’s that much difference between conservative and liberal people. However, ideologically, conservatism is more regressive and therefore harmful to women. I don’t think the pursuit of education is necessarily HV, but ignorance…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 07:23 AM
5

I think I made you feel defensive, and I’m sorry for that. It wasn’t my intention. And I wasn’t at all saying that all conservative men don’t value women, or treat them right - but I do believe that fundamentally, conservatism is more restrictive of women, and that in turn harms women. That isn’t to say there aren’t awful liberal LVM - honestly, most men are LV, regardless of politics. Your ex sounds like a prime example. But fundamentally, liberalism offers women more equality and freedom, whil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 06:39 AM
8

That’s interesting, because I really see FDS as a self improvement sub, and the actual dating aspects as kind of secondary. It might be my age, I’m older, and because I’m happily married already, so that part doesn’t apply. But the underlying message of self love and believing that we all deserve kindness and respect resonates with me. Which is why I was asking about reconciling FDS with conservatism. To me, Conservatism feels overbearing and sexist, a top down view that doesn’t trust women to h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 05:43 AM
10

This is such a good point. So many of these guys claim the only reason they were on redpill is BC “didn’t have any success with women” or for the generic “self help” aspects. This guy is neither. He actively participated in that cult of hate when he wrote misogynistic posts He did not address your concerns respectfully, his response from your description is basically, “yeah, so what.” That is disrespectful to you He’s brought up redpill talking points in normal conversation. This isn’t a guy who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 02:27 AM
39

I’m so curious about this, I hope you don’t mind me asking; how do you see your conservative values meshing with the radical female empowerment of FDS? How do you reconcile the conservative emphasis on so-called “family values” vs. the FDS mantra of female financial, sexual, intellectual independence & personal responsibility?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 01:52 AM
5

This is emotional abuse. I’m glad you’re seeing what he is, stay strong! They love to fog up your brain with their BS. If you head over to r/narcissisticabuse, they have a reading list that deals with relationship ptsd & narcissistic abuse. Even if you’re not certain he’s a full narcissist, you recognize that he is abusive and that anyone would need time & space to recover. You deserve better. You will figure out why his tactics worked on you, and they never will again. That’s a huge level up, b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 09:16 PM
8

You know, I started to write out a point by point detail of why this is manipulative red flag behavior, but frankly it was just too much. This man seems absolutely exhausting. Was he like this? Did he badger you into exhausted submission? Make you question your own sanity by saying the “right things” even as he minimized his poor behavior and sought to blame you for His Problems? Try to redefine your feelings to make your objections seem petty and shallow? This is an absolute dumpster fire of a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 07:37 PM
30

Yes, definitely this. Talking about cannabis as a hobby, or worse reeking of it is a next. I’m not actually opposed to weed, and occasionally indulge, but if it’s so important to you need to mention it on a first date, or it’s on your profile then nope. Same with alcohol. Or tobacco - cigarettes are an instant next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 06:56 PM
32

I mean, obviously misogyny / porn sick / cheapness & the rest of the FDS sidebar. I think it’s useful to tag behavior that signals these beliefs, are red flags for a LVM Runs hot and cold. If his interest isn’t consistent & proactive, he’s not into you. Even if he seems to chase you when he’s present, appears to be HV - if he’s leaving you on read for hours/day, he’s not your HVM. Don’t worry, there’s plenty. plays video games. Just nah. As “hobbies” go it doesn’t add value to his life, therefor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 06:42 PM
26

Personally, making porn a hard no and stopping performance femininity was a huge step towards being happy with myself. Good for you sis. Don’t believe the “all men do it” - that’s some bullshit LVM day to try to get you to lower your standards. I know plenty of men who don’t use porn. They were also the men who respected my sexual boundaries and weren’t pushing for anal or threesomes. Hmmmm 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 05:24 PM
8

Haha I should have. It was our third date, and after he dropped that condo line he leaned in for a kiss ...and I recoiled. He had the good sense to make a hasty exit after that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 07:07 PM
10

It’s not a new trend. I was on a date with a guy and he started talking about how he had bought his ex a condo as like, foreplay I think. I noped out, but the whole situation was exactly what you described.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 05:25 PM
69

I think we’re underplaying how it important it is to keep emotions in check while dating. Falling for someone is easy particularly in the beginning. All those hormones and shiny new FDS confidence boosts. In that honeymoon phase even the biggest fuccboi seems like a HVM. It’s hard to see red flags through rose tinted glasses and hormones and emotions are easy to manipulate. The PUA/redpill guys use a variety of tactics to avoid catching feels, or god forbid “oneitis” so that they can apply their…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 11:40 PM
2

Honestly your 20s are to have fun & fight crime. Don’t waste it on a boy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 06:18 AM
7

Don’t be disappointed in yourself. You learned that lesson, and education is always expensive. A few months with someone you thought ticked the boxes, you’re already intimate, of course you caught feels & he used that to get you. It’s ok, it happens. He showed you who he is, I hope you’ve moved on? The next guy who tries to pull that trick is going to wonder how it’s even possible to get blocked that fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 06:15 AM
7

I don't know what a stable, nuanced, safe and healthy relationship looks like when you tell him that his behavior makes you uncomfortable, he stops immediately and never repeats it you are not the butt of his jokes you are a participant, not an object in his sexual adventure kindness is a character trait, not an affectation he adopts to get compliance out of you. Remember, “charm” is a verb. He’s intentionally charming you, while letting you see how he treats people out of favor (cold, unkind, s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 07:27 PM
2

IMO yes. There are a few issues that wave red to me. Watching anime is a passive hobby. I view excessive television in the same vein. It reeks of intellectual laziness. Even anime with strong female protagonists have problematic depictions of women. Ditto problematic depictions of black people. He’s passively watching something that reenforces harmful gender and racial tropes that are often invisible to men. So either he doesn’t see it (not great) or he does, and he’s ok with it/ doesn’t harsh t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 04:28 PM
10

This is exactly right. And the information continues to be incredibly useful. I’m married to a HVM but I still read here - and at some toxic manosphere sites. Part of it is staying vigilant I guess. On some level I don’t think I’ll ever fully trust a man. But part of it is to recognize the toxic mindset in my day to day & career. Realizing that a male colleague was using the same emotional manipulation tactics at the workplace was a huge aha! to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 01:46 AM
5

Yale also used(?) to take naked pictures of every single freshman. For science! I’m sure...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 09:35 PM
2

Super, super easy: 2 dresses. One LBD, one for day/transitions -I have a friend who is a stylist who hooked me up with something like this my 2nd dress was a linen blend square neck I thrifted. Worked with a blazer or biker jacket, light enough for daytime & still dressy enough to I had expectations. 1 blouse I had an off the shoulder blouse kind of like this in 3 colors 1 pair of pants that make you feel like you’re the HBIC I had black leather pants, because they made me feel badass. 1 pair of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 08:10 PM
29

I used to read redpill type subs often - not to become the perfect pickmeisha they want, but to learn how to spot their behavior in the wild and avoid it. This sub coalesces a lot of those ideas into a strategy of avoiding shitty men. FDS is an existential threat to guys who’ve spent years in an echo chamber telling them to work out & be emotionally abusive. OFC they attack the messenger. They’ve never learned to take responsibility for their own failures. Therefore the flaw isn’t on them for bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 07:39 PM
1

Also no son’s of famous AMWs. Because holy hell, most of these guys are basket cases.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 07:25 PM
7

Los Angeles is it’s own special brand of shitshow. It’s like there’s multiple cities occupying the same space. Local vs. temps. For me, avoiding temps made sorting through prospects easier. A lot of people move here to pursue careers as AMW’s so they have a whatever-it-takes mentality combined with not feeling particularly rooted in the community. Plus all the bullshit ego issues because they’re “gonna be famous someday” vs. the black hole of self worth because they haven’t made it yet. I ended …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 07:06 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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