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tylerdurdensoapmaker Archive

View 0 posts and 68 comments by tylerdurdensoapmaker on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Get a P.O. Box as well as new Cel phone with a new company in addition to whatever you do to use this against her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 11:31 PM
2

Thanks. My ex keeps insisting on 2-2-3 (we had 2-2-5 before) and it’s created all sorts of chaos. She keeps trying to point out research that says that 6 year olds need the 2-2-3. Gold to hear week on and off works wel at this age.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/22 04:47 PM
1

Really mind blowing for that to happen. Man sorry you had to have that happen to you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/22 06:26 AM
2

How old are your kids? Curious how week on/off is working vs age?
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/22 06:03 AM
1

Are you serious? He said that in court? I’ll be curious if transcripts show that.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/22 01:16 AM
2

It’s incredibly difficult for a non psychopath to maneuver through that tactic until it’s understood that’s the game being played.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 10:16 PM
6

Precisely. If she starts to not like the direction the litigation is going be prepared for her to try to lean on to your emotional side to gain an advantage. Do now what you can do to prepare for this (work with a male therapist, take care of your health etc).
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 10:11 PM
5

I want to confirm what others have said and a common misconception. As a father you should believe you have solid chance to get 50-50 custody if that’s what you want. I also want to urge you to move quickly now so that a precedent isn’t set where she can say she is the primary caregiver. Act quickly and aggressively now with respect to custody.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 10:09 PM
2

You will be compelled to pay child support. This isn’t really up for negotiation. It’s usually a formula based on your income and the custody split. You can buy her out of alimony if necessary (maybe through the assets) but unfortunately you are stuck with child support. However alert your attorney that she has income that is unreported as that should be in the calculation (I’m not an attorney just my opinion).
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 05:29 PM
1

As others have said - make sure you have a lawyer and preferably one that knows the challenges some men face such as being victims of parental alienation, being falsely accused - ideally this lawyer is ready to litigate if need be. Start a journal and write down everything (but dont let your ex know you have a journal). Make sure you have a connection with the pediatrician and go to the doctors visits. Make sure you have cameras when you are around the ex or have in your car or house if you inte…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 05:46 AM
2

Sure but its not OPs deal if a. her attorney is for some reason withholding information that their client has given them or b. his STBXW is lying and saying she gave her attorney the information. He might spend a lot of time trying to figure out their BS when he can go through with the deposition (or at least the threat of it).
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 05:39 AM
1

Yes its your attorney asking questions but you should definitely have input on the questions he or she is going to ask as well as discuss the strategy. If she’s not provided the proper financial disclosures that should be a big deal in family court. Personally I would not proceed (trial or mediation) without that information. I really cant believe she’s gotten this far without disclosure — I had to provide every single piece of financial information when I went through the process.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 05:38 AM
2

Personally I would not do that especially without first asking your attorney. If you can afford it depose her - it should benefit your case.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 03:16 AM
2

“Listen to your lawyer” the most important words in these situations.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 06:38 PM
3

How old is your youngest to see her shit already?
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 04:45 AM
3

Listen to this post especially the part about not going overconfident.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 11:34 PM
3

I wouldn’t count myself as desperate but having more kids is something I’m considering. As a result I’m left to being open to a future relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 06:46 PM
3

My ex now has also taken to calling me a narcissist and has also been telling me I emotionally and verbally abused her since I had to file for a restraining order a few years ago. It’s almost as if there is a script that gets shared with some women. I’ve had a wild few years separating, going through court process, divorcing and now dealing with on a day to day basis. My family law attorney has told me my ex is the most unstable she’s gone against…all of this and yet she still manages to gasligh…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 02:48 AM
1

Where does the current custody schedule come from? Did you agree to it? Have you asked the court for 50-50?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 08:06 AM
2

Sorry about that brother. Keep your head up and keep grinding to do what you got to do. Just remember that life is ups and downs. You are gong to be in a rough spot for a bit but things will be ok, they always are.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 08:03 AM
4

What would you have done differently?
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 05:39 AM
6

Agree.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 03:46 PM
1

Gonna hear this over and over and may not be what you are ready to do yet but your only option is the legal route. Almost nothing you can do until you get an attorney. I waited way too long and recommend you call on on Monday and start the process.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 03:46 PM
2

Damn I thought I was one of the few who has gone to this many schools. I went to 12 different schools…I’m still trying to untangle the mess this caused me. My sense of stability…is rooted in instability.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 05:41 PM
1

Yea this too.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 05:40 PM
1

Agree. Take the full custody and worry about the other issues later. You will be in a very strong position. Surprised she’s willing to go for this.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 05:37 PM
1

Why not go to mediation? It’s a far better path than expensive litigation. You may think you have upper hand but in litigation anything can happen. In mediation you have a shot at controlling the outcome by what you agree to. You can keep your position but avoid litigation.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 03:43 AM
2

This is reasonable
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 03:41 AM
0

Besides the fact that she requested and she may use this against you in the future if you ever do it yourself by making a filing with the court you can create a record of her behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 08:36 AM
5

Quit the job and make sure you get at least 50-50 custody. You should consider if she gets primary custody she may try to take child out of the country. I was warned to not let ex have majority custody for reasons of immigration status in addition to not wanting to have less than 50-50 anyways.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 11:28 PM
2

Where to begin. Having one on one time with my son, doing whatever the hell I want when I’m home, not having to deal with another persons mental health drama, spending time on money on what I like in life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 11:18 PM
4

Life is too short. Way too short to spend it sucked into a situation that you dont want to be in, that doesnt make you happy and where another adults needs are put above your own on a constant basis. We are all on this journey of life and your wife needs to figure out her journey on her own - you dont owe her and are not beholden to her. I thought my ex would also try to commit suicide when I filed (and requested a much needed restraining order) but lo and behold it did not happen in fact not ev…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 08:27 PM
3

Gonna get so much easier you will look back at this message and marvel at how far you have come. Stick with it for your kids, get yourself support and community, work out, get the best attorney you can afford and force yourself out of your house. Also be thankful you have 50-50 custody at this point without having to brawl just get 50-50. Get yourself good child care or nanny if you can swing that so you aren’t overwhelmed. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 05:45 PM
10

You’ve given me hope. My ex (and mother of our son) also has severe BPD and although I am doing a lot of work on myself I still feel like I am recovering from our relationship which isnt helped by the fact I have to constantly interact with her due to our son.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/22 05:53 PM
0

Amen
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/22 10:25 PM
10

Agree.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 04:40 AM
6

Speak with a family law attorney immediately. Do not avoid this. You don’t have to take any action but speak with an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/22 04:40 AM
2

Yes Costa Rica. Many mistreated North Americans living the good life there.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 04:53 AM
2

Sorry to be direct but as others have mentioned strongly consider divorce asap. At a minimum speak with an attorney. Also speak with a therapist and take care of yourself. You don’t have to do this all alone.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 04:52 AM
1

I know a lot of men that have had to do this. Would be great to hear it go the other way for once.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 04:44 AM
1

If she has more money than you can you petition to have her pay your legal fees as happens in many cases where one side has more money than the rest?
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 10:03 PM
1

How old is he?
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 07:04 AM
6

My ex (she has BPD got it in her head that she has to give our 5 year old son a say in EVERYTHING including if he wants to go to therapy (necessary in my mind in large part due to her unacceptable behavior). Kids don’t get a say in every decision especially the youngest children. As they grow older they can have more and more of a say in decision making.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 07:02 AM
2

Agree.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 06:58 AM
2

Do all you can to move on and do not look back. Don’t try to understand her behavior just work on getting yourself through this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/22 01:53 AM
9

Try mediation ASAP and be willing to be more generous than you think you should if you can get divorced asap and save on legal bills. Find the quickest path to getting your divorce finalized and pursue it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 11:44 PM
5

My advice is seek out court orders asap. Don’t delay or wait or think it over. Get the court orders so you aren’t beholden to your ex. The longer you wait the more she might make the case to maintain the status quo which is her schedule. I waited much longer than I should have and while it’s worked out I regret having sat on the fence for so long.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/22 06:54 AM
3

Sorry to hear that. Sounds like its time to put her behind you and move on as difficult as that is/will be. Its a tough road but there is light at the end of the tunnel…once you starting going through it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 04:55 AM
9

Really? Why the hell would the dude have to keep supporting not his child?
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 04:26 AM
3

Agree with this. Damn she took your son out of the country? That’s awful.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 04:24 AM
5

I wouldn’t tell any of that parties. Move on and focus on yourself and your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 03:16 AM
2

Have another consultation with that attorney and any others you don’t want her to use and she likely won’t be able to work with them because of conflict of interest rules attorneys use.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 04:23 AM
5

If you can afford it consult with a family law attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 05:01 AM
3

I can’t really give you advice from experience more of thinly im considering as your story resonates with me. Starting to date? Change of venue sounds like a good idea. Spend as much time outdoors as you can…got me through the messiest parts so far. Do something that gets you connected to others and that you wouldn’t normally do…join a sports play league or some type of society like mushroom foraging or other passion you have. Take a road trip? Take a class? I’m sure these are all often repeated…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 12:18 AM
5

Good article. I didn’t find the paragraph about “primary caregiver” having to lose custody time at all compelling but over all a good discussion of the issues at hand.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 12:59 AM
5

Congrats brother.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 08:28 PM
2

I didn’t even know it WASN’T standard until this post.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 07:07 PM
9

Insane that equal parenting is still not standard everywhere in the US.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 06:55 PM
1

Good. Again as long as you have resources for it I’d either retain them or have consultations to make sure you are doing the right things and per post above not being risking fake accusations. Is your plan to move in and then work on a proper separation?
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/21 04:56 PM
3

Also seek legal counsel if you can to give you proper advice during this period.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/21 04:46 PM
2

I left the house on his 3rd birthday. It’s still in process but it’s better now. It got insane until the legal system got involved. By insane I mean her behavior became very unstable and I could see it all much clearer. It’s still tough especially on holidays and seeing him talk about families but for me it had to be this way.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/21 01:25 AM
5

My ex had bpd and I struggled for awhile with the same decision. Ultimately the combination of our relationship getting so bad AND I came to the conclusion our relationship was not one that would be setting a good example for our son so for me it made more sense to separate.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/21 11:48 PM
1

Not an attorney. There is more to it as I understand such as if you mutually agree to separate. But it’s my understanding that the last date of sex can be an important factor. So for example if you moved out two years ago and then have sex last month it may be tricky to try to say that you’ve been separated for years.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/21 02:17 AM
5

Exactly this. If you are serious about moving on then you should know the date of separation hinges on when you last had sex.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/21 05:43 PM
4

Call a family law attorney if you can.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/21 02:05 AM
1

Same - police station nearby. On same program but one thing we did was get rid of the transfer things and just got duplicates of all their needs.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/21 08:13 PM
5

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/21 11:02 PM
3

Right there
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/21 10:56 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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