usernosix Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Vicious double standard in in expected conformity to gender stereotypes Substantial meaning someone brings substance to the relationship. While the nature and quality of that substance will vary from person to person, my point lies more with that word "brings" where OP's association of timidity with femininity suggests that a woman is not allowed to bring her substance to the relationship. The other user replying to me provided the more positive idea here of a woman maintaining peace in traditional gender roles. She still has the capacity to share her perspective an…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/04/15 01:21 PM
1	BP Men who don't care about partner count: If you found out your wife had actually slept with 100's of guys, would it change any opinion you had of her? but just isn't into it with me. That's the key for me, and why I am able to be the target of OP's question. The unique combination of me and my partner resulted in a set of circumstances where my partner does not want to engage in a certain behavior or activity with me. I don't see myself as being interchangeable with any man from her past, nor do I want to be. Yes, the unique combination of another man and my partner in the past resulted in her enthusiastically enjoying X. However, that unique …	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/04/15 12:57 PM
7	Vicious double standard in in expected conformity to gender stereotypes Exactly. In their original statement, OP is asking why a man is expected to fulfill all of a role associated with these positive qualities, while a woman can't be expected to fulfill a role associated with these negative qualities. Maybe it is a narrative to identify those qualities as negative, but at the same time, /u/nicethingyoucanthave even goes on to list out positive qualities associated with a feminine role. They want a woman who has the feminine qualities (as they define them) of being …	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/04/15 04:47 PM
3	BP Men who don't care about partner count: If you found out your wife had actually slept with 100's of guys, would it change any opinion you had of her? It's not victim blaming because we're talking about my experience. OP (and presumably you) wanted to hear from people who don't care about partner count, and then wanted to hear from people who don't care about these other conditions as well. I admit to using "you" on accident there, but all the same, I was describing my particular approach to these situations. If someone cheats on me or abuses me, then it means I missed some warning sign along the way. Others may lack the capacity to identify t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/04/15 04:05 PM
3	BP Men who don't care about partner count: If you found out your wife had actually slept with 100's of guys, would it change any opinion you had of her? I don't think infidelity or abuse are behaviors isolated within an otherwise secure, mature, and healthy-minded individual. They are the product of a person who has failed to develop secure, mature, and healthy ways of dealing with conflict, dissatisfaction, or unhappiness in their life. And, so long as you don't engage in fantasy or self-delusion about the person you are dating, you can spot this quality in a person from a mile away. Either a person has changed and developed better mechanisms f…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/04/15 02:12 PM
3	Vicious double standard in in expected conformity to gender stereotypes I'm not framing femininity in this way. I'm pointing out that OP has framed femininity in this way (hence why I phrase it as "you are describing..."), and in this frame, I'm saying that OP's view is incomplete. OP is presenting a ridiculous narrative, and I am making that the basis of my claim for their view being wrong. They want a fair exchange of roles in the relationship, yet are describing in their initial post an unfair set of expectations on both ends. I'm instead correcting (as you are n…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/04/15 01:56 PM
0	BP Men who don't care about partner count: If you found out your wife had actually slept with 100's of guys, would it change any opinion you had of her? It is anyone's right to feel and react however they want to whatever stimulus induces those feelings and reactions. However, my idea of giving my commitment to someone runs on an absolute scale, not a relative one. If oral sex represents a metric for determining my partner's investment in the relationship, then their lack of providing oral sex doesn't change in value because she did it in the past. Just because I have found hypocrisy or inconsistency in their behavior doesn't change the sum real…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/04/15 12:31 PM
7	BP Men who don't care about partner count: If you found out your wife had actually slept with 100's of guys, would it change any opinion you had of her? To an extent, I think the premise of these situations is inherently flawed because you have a man staying in a relationship with an unsatisfying sex life on the basis that she is just always been this way. Unsatisfying is unsatisfying in my book. My partner wouldn't be my partner if she wasn't satisfying my needs just as I satisfied her needs. And, if I'm going to make the choice to stay in an unsatisfying relationship, then why should I care about the underlying reasons for my dissatisfaction?	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/04/15 02:32 AM
9	Vicious double standard in in expected conformity to gender stereotypes I guess my contention is that your personal view, the one you are asking us to change, is predicated on the definitions of masculinity and femininity you provide above. I recognize you are asking about the double standard of women can demand masculinity, while men cannot demand femininity. However, as you have framed these qualities, I have re-posed the standard to say that women can demand bring substance, while men cannot demand a lack of substance. This re-phrasing makes clear the issue with …	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/04/15 01:35 AM
11	BP Men who don't care about partner count: If you found out your wife had actually slept with 100's of guys, would it change any opinion you had of her? Especially without there being any STD's from all of that stuff, I'm not really sure why I would suddenly find fault with her behavior, though I'm not really a naive kind of guy either. The woman I met, dated, and married didn't spark into existence at exactly the moment I met her. She is the product of an entire history before she met me, and if it took all those previous partners and experiences for her to arrive at the person she was when I met her, then it's hard to think anything about that…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/04/15 01:20 AM
9	Vicious double standard in in expected conformity to gender stereotypes I think the imbalance here comes from the difference of values you are assigning to masculinity and femininity. With the masculine role, you are describing qualities that bring substance and value to the relationship. A breadwinner brings financial stability and support. Confidence brings direction and strength. Being personable with women brings good communication and understanding. However, with the feminine role, you are describing qualities that are just not taking away from the relationship…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/04/15 01:11 AM
4	Player/Cabana boy lifestyle vs LTR/Monogamous lifestyle (question for redpill) I think it all depends on how you frame it. The single/player life can mean that you have a varied and consistently novel life filled with multiple women who meet certain needs in your life and give you the freedom to do as you want, while the LTR/monogamous life can mean being stuck with a woman who doesn't meet your needs and restricts your capacity to be happy/satisfied with life. But, the single/player life can also make you a slave to the validation and chase that comes in pursuing these wo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/15 02:09 PM