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View 1 post and 57 comments by victorinevien on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
15

OFF TOPICvictorinevien/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 05:29 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

No, many people have expanded the meaning of SMV and I will use it how I please.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/20 06:58 AM
1

"SMV and RMV are totally different things." According to you and the sources you use. For some people they are interchangeable, and they use the terms interchangeably. You're confused about why we are discussing this because you didn't include the possibility that we are discussing what you refer to as RMV. "There is no RP truth on women who travel, just personal preference." The discussion wasn't just about travel--it was also about his views on women who take time to "find themselves". He seem…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/20 05:28 AM
2

Exactly. I think he's using RMV/SMV interchangeably, as am I. However, his arguments tend to reveal a preferences of men that wouldn't make for a happy marriage even if someone did get them to marry.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/20 03:47 AM
3

Love this.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/20 03:43 AM
1

"For example there's growing data that psychological instability increases retail SMV. Men will hamster away warning flags about unfaithfullness, and can make horrible decisions. Lots of men will gladly stick in in a low IQ woman, and even wife up such because they think it means a woman they can manage" Are those the men that can bring the women a happy marriage? One who is turned on by psychological instability to the point of not caring how it'll affect his long term life goals if he marries …
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/20 03:39 AM
-1

Semantics. You're thinking of short term SMV. Long term sexual marketplace value = RMV for you.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/20 03:24 AM
1

Do you have any definitive research to back up your claim that "meaningful experiences do not translate to higher SMV"? Female SMV has been tied to intelligence, looks, personality, faithfulness, psychological stability. As long as a woman scores high on those areas, traveling and broadening horizons will enrich her life and give her more perspective on the world. Your assumptions about female travelers place them in a very negative and questionable light. How many female travelers do you actual…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/20 04:56 PM
2

How does travel leave women jaded? There are many women who travel solo and have been enriched by it. Not jaded at all. Who is sponsoring the travel? How about the women themselves through their digital nomad/teaching jobs? I'm an expat and many women expats I've met have decent jobs and support themselves. Why wouldn't a more enriched worldview and life experience increase SMV?
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/20 02:56 PM
7

Things like looks, personality, psychological stability, and faithfulness will play a bigger role in a woman's SMV than her virginity. Part of the reason that men shy away from women with higher counts is due to the "faithfulness" suspicion. 2 is a very low number for this day and age, so you're doing great on that end!
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/20 01:37 AM
3

It's not Kegel. To my knowledge, Kegel works by exercising of muscles. Inhabiting the space in your body is simply allowing yourself to be connected to all the space in that part of your body---which is something that sexually repressed people don't do. Sexually repressed people usually cut themselves off from the awareness and sensations of their bodies.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/20 12:12 PM
2

Sex appeal starts from the inside out. Do you FEEL sexy? If you feel sexy, others will sense that vibe about you no matter what you wear, because the way you project your voice, the way you walk, the way you hold yourself...will all signal sexy. A big part of learning to feel sexy internally is learning to accept that you are a sexual creature and accepting that fully. A good test is to see how uncomfortable you are with the idea that someone might call you a "slut" for wearing a low cut top. If…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/20 10:57 AM
3

Dillards and JCPenney usually have nice dresses. So does Asos
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/20 06:26 PM
16

This! Key words are boundaries and respect. If he can't respect your boundaries now, imagine what it'll be like with kids.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/20 04:37 AM
2

All this!
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/20 09:39 AM
8

It sounds like you just need to find ways to rest so that your sex drive can come back. Take some time to rest and see what happens from there.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/20 03:46 PM
47

Reward him by seducing him and having fun with him when time allows. You're overthinking it and selling yourself short. If he's with you, there's a good reason.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/20 02:20 PM
0

Leave the husband if he doesn't take therapy seriously and is just doing it to smooth things over. Distance yourself from your father. He sounds super controlling, and you will never become your own person if you allow him to dictate the terms of your life.
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/20 06:27 PM
4

He shows signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Please read this article for a take on what's behind his behavior: https://narcsite.com/2019/12/22/the-prime-aims-9/ You can read more stories from survivors of Narc abuse by following threads on Quora: https://www.quora.com/As-someone-who-overcame-narcissistic-abuse-what-do-you-wish-more-people-understood-about-narcissistic-abuse I wish more people knew about this. I was guilted for YEARS by a narc ex for dumping him. Lucky that I didn't come…
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/20 04:20 AM
1

your sn..lol! Makes one want to touch your butt.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 03:58 PM
97

Don't overidentify with these rules because they can harm you. In real life, love can be found at any age and in many different circumstances. As long as you practice good self-care and deal with any psychological patterns that can harm your relationships, you are good. There are some men who may have children from previous marriages or don't want children, and won't mind a woman who is older. Younger unattached men may also be attracted to an older woman because of her self possession. Age can …
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 05:55 AM
4

Yes! Maxi dresses, sundresses, dresses that have comfortable fabric like silk, cotton, etc. These are my go-tos for comfort.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/20 02:36 AM
3

The book Weight Training Workouts that Work is no-nonsense and simple to implement. I used it in college to shed 15 pounds and never regained the weight. I lifted 3 times per week and walked 30-60 minutes on the non lifting days. It's been 13 years now since I first started weigh traning with that book! He gives you tidbits of advice and motivation, as well as pictures on proper form and breathing (which are the MOST important things besides consistency). The biggest takeaway from that book was …
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/20 03:26 PM
4

Agreed. The men who end up being reliable partners are discerning about their sexual partners.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/20 02:52 PM
2

Read "Whole Again" by McKenzie and "Dark Side of the Inner Child" by Wolinsky. It'll tell you what you need to fix and more importantly, how to fix it in a step by step way.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/20 02:49 PM
5

second this. True love doesn't just wake up one day and start pursuing another woman. OP, please read "Whole Again" by McKenzie. Very relevant to your issue here.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/20 02:47 PM
5

any good resources to learn this skill?
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/20 06:27 AM
9

"Whole Again" by McKenzie, "Dark Side of the Inner Child" by Wolinsky has exercises to help you do this.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/20 05:10 AM
6

Have you thought about what it is in you that is attracted to a man like this? As a general rule, people tend to project a frozen image they have of a parent or family member onto reality, and end up choosing partners that remind them of someone familiar to them. Was your father or mother promiscuous? The projection stuff can be really powerful once you take some time to peel back the layers of your attraction. Until you learn to be aware of the unconscious forces that are operating to make you …
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/20 03:41 AM
0

Please read "Whole Again" by McKenzie. It's very relevant to your issue. The reason you feel like a waste exists within you, some kind of wounding from the past that got agitated when you found out he did this. If the wound is no longer there, you'd see the behavior for what it is and just stop dating him.
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/20 03:31 AM
2

love the screen name. had to say it.
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/20 04:04 PM
3

Yeah, I get what you mean by learning to accept good things. I had a lot of self-worth issues back in my 20s that didn't allow me to accept a man caring for me. It always made me uncomfortable--like I was being a burden to them. As I've gotten older and worked more on the self worth thing, it's become more natural to accept kindness and gifts from all people.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 09:04 PM
1

that's so rare. Congrats on finding that. I wanted that too, but haven't had much luck in meeting one like that. How'd you find yours?
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 03:02 PM
1

Well good for you, girl, cause it usually don't work dat way.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 02:12 PM
6

A good relationship can definitely make one feel spoiled at times, especially with a man who's very warm and giving. The reason I hesitate on that phrase is because it can give the wrong idea to some people. Relationships require give and take on both sides to make it flow well. When someone gets into the mindset of "I want him to spoil me", it can lead to a sense of entitlement and impatience when issues arise in the relationship. It's a tough balance to learn---how to hold your own so you can …
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 05:31 AM
2

You most likely had an emotional flashback and projected something bad that happened in childhood onto the present time situation. It happens. "Dark Side of the Inner Child" by Wolinsky has exercises to help you overcome this tendency. Hope you get the book and do the exercises. It's super relevant to your issue.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 04:06 AM
6

Can you elaborate on this? I think your definition of doormat may differ than others, because doormats usually don't get spoiled.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 03:57 AM
3

yeah, because doormat usually doesn't engender man spoiling you. I'm curious about this as well.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 03:56 AM
1

lol
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 03:55 AM
1

Agreed. There are people of all stripes and all kinds of reasons for staying single until later in life. OP's SO doesn't sound like husband material, but it doesn't mean that all older men are like this.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 03:47 AM
9

OP, it sounds like you don't trust enough in yourself, and he took advantage of this fear of yours. Please read "Whole Again" by McKenzie and "It Wasn't Your Fault" by Engel. I think these two books will help you learn to trust yourself more.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 03:40 AM
8

All this except for the "makes you feel completely spoiled". A good relationship would help you feel cared for, heard, listened to, respected, your true needs are being met (which fixing your car is)...those are important things and enough to give this guy a hard next.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 03:38 AM
2

Use my referral code 58299 if you're kind.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/20 01:05 PM
2

the Wysa app has a Wysa coach option where you can talk to a live therapist via text. It's like another Talkspace, but more affordable, and I've heard better feedback about Wysa than I have about Talkspace. The exercises exist in all the books. You can pick the ones that resonate the most and do them. Sometimes after a while, you might circle back and do another exercise. Just take it day by day. As long as you are consistent in exploring the issues and allow yourself to grieve, the healing will…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/20 07:26 AM
2

so glad to hear you found it helpful! Dark Side of the Inner Child by Wolinsky and Beginner's Guide to Quantum Psychology by Wolinsky (the chapters on transcending the False Core) are really good. These two books can be found on archive.org's open library or on b-ok.cc for free. He has a book specifically on relationships that I haven't read yet, but got really great reviews "Intimate Relationships: Why they do and don't work". There's sooo much good stuff in his books that it can be an intense …
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/20 07:30 PM
3

Did you grow to be this wise and responsible because you had to take care of your parents or someone in your family when you were young...either emotionally or physically? It seems that your psyche had developed an "old lady" identity within you to withstand whatever overbearing responsibilities you had to manage at that time. And your true self went to sleep, allowing "old lady" to take over because your true self saw that old lady was managing things well. To get rid of the "old lady" vibe, yo…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 01:50 PM
2

Any resources or ideas that you'd care to share? Especially the sexual marketplace :-)
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 06:26 AM
5

don't know if this was sarcasm, but I had to upvote it from a -1 to a 0
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/20 06:01 AM
2

Awesome :-) I was the one who recommended it. I'm reading Pete Walker's book on CPTSD and it's also really good. Might be good one to put on your list once you've had some time to work through the stuff in Whole Again.
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/20 06:58 PM
3

Yeah, same. That approach of the wounded heart and unidentifying with the wound over time made more sense to me than CBT, meditation, etc. Healing shame has also been a huge thing for me. The best book that helped with that was "It wasn't your fault" by Engel. I never even realized that it was shame that kept me from making progress in terms of self-love, self-esteem, etc So if I had to rank the effectiveness of therapeutic approaches, it would be grieving + healing shame + unidentifying with th…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/20 06:47 PM
2

I went through that too. When I allowed myself to grieve for what we lost, and for all the pain experienced in childhood that I never allowed myself to feel, it became easier to let go of him. Jackson McKenzie described this phenomenon really well in his book through the analogy of the wounded heart. The wound is basically all the terrible conclusions one comes to about oneself in the aftermath of painful experiences. Most of the time, these painful experiences date back to childhood, but they c…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/20 05:42 PM
2

Oh, that is a terrible way to manage feelings. And I say that having been someone who has repressed my feelings for over two decades. It's so much easier to love yourself and others once you allow yourself to finally feel what is inside of you. Grieving is tremendously powerful, and the famous author Pete Walker wrote an excellent PDF on it: http://pete-walker.com/pdf/GrievingAndComplexPTSD.pdf
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/20 04:54 PM
2

Jackson McKenzie. You got it. Pete Walker's PDF on grieving and its power to heal a person is also really awesome: http://pete-walker.com/pdf/GrievingAndComplexPTSD.pdf
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/20 04:49 PM
1

The thing is, you can't know until you've gotten to know them. There's no insurance against getting involved with a guy who might be unavailable. The only thing that can protect you is to learn to discard the obstacles within your own heart for giving and receiving love..and to not respond to negative experiences by internalizing them as meaning something about you. For example, you meet a guy who turns out to be unavailable. (person 1) Someone who's learned not to internalize these experiences …
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/20 06:07 PM
2

Awesome. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss it after reading.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/20 06:08 PM
2

Read Whole Again. It is very relevant to your issues. Part of why you cling onto him is your protective self giving you a distraction from the hard experience of facing the sadness and pain inside of you. Until you give yourself time and space to grieve and then learn that you are not your pain, that you are not the false things your pain taught you about yourself, you will not let love in.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/20 01:34 AM
7

Setting healthy boundaries requires that you believe in yourself, which is tough to do if you've somehow absorbed false messages about yourself in the past as a result of painful events (most likely in childhood, but could also be the result of failed romances): "I am not worthy of love, I am inadequate, I am worthless, I am not enough". Releasing these negative beliefs require that you stop dissociating from your emotions by trying to DO things. Just sit with the feeling of anxiety/depression/n…
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/20 02:00 AM
13

This. I experienced this in the past, and the girl he was seeing turned out to be a former call girl too. So I got out of there. They have a relationship full of ups and downs (and probably cheating from both sides). The fact that he's giving himself a free pass to do things that make you feel uncomfortable, then turns around and tries to control you from having male friends...it's a major sign that he's worried you'll do to him what he's doing to you.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/20 10:49 AM
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