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View 2 posts and 58 comments by vitani88 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

We generally agree to discuss anything over $100, but in reality we run most purchases over $50 by each other just out of consideration for the other. I'm not talking about groceries or a pet bill. More like video games or other frivolous purchases.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/14 12:31 AM
2

She truly said "fuck you" and stood by it. The sum was over $100 and donated monthly to a TV station. EDIT: they discussed it and he didn't want her to donate that much to a TV station. If my husband did it anyway after we didn't agree on it I'd be upset, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/14 12:29 AM
5

Right, this is where my thought process went as well. My husband and I do have a joint account and we have a set amount we don't exceed without talking to each other (unless it's birthday presents or something). I just assumed most people handled things similarly, but I guess I was wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/14 11:51 PM
4

This is how my marriage works also. Anything under a certain amount is fair game (within reason, of course) but anything over that amount is generally discussed unless it's a gift for the other. The woman I was speaking to made me feel like a meek woman stuck in the dark ages.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/14 11:49 PM
1

We all thought he was gay, but he later told me he wasn't "emotionally attracted" to me, which reinforced the theory that he might be gay. However, it turned out he was just a piece of shit and cheated on me with a bunch of blondes (I'm brunette). He ended up knocking some girl up when we got divorced and getting remarried to another brunette (a different girl than the one he knocked up) last year.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/14 02:04 PM
1

Yeah, I get that. I suppose I did get to live how the other half lives. My point was just that it's not always the woman and some women are, in fact, abused. But I guess you know that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/14 01:54 AM
1

My 53 year old mother loves Twilight. -_- She has frequent Twilight marathons with her best friend. No shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/14 01:51 AM
1

Ian Somerhalder was the right actor to play Christian Grey. Period. The actress looks 30. She's supposed to be like, 19 or something. It's pretty much the same in the book. I read the first two books. They were awful. But yes, they did end up in a relationship. Nope. Billionaire. Cause money and power and stuff. I did not love the books but I would have seen the movie anyway if they hadn't picked such a terrible actor for Christian Grey. The actor they chose is in no way sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/14 01:49 AM
1

I divorced him after finding out he had cheated on me (again) the day after I deployed to Afghanistan to make more money for him while he remained unemployed. This was after 79000 therapy sessions with his pastor in which he told the pastor he did not owe me sex or anything else because I had already married him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/14 01:46 AM
3

Still no comment on blaming me for my ex-husband's shittiness? Okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/14 01:41 AM
2

I don't believe the pp said it was praiseworthy, but neither is kicking out your child for making a mistake. My best friend of 21 years got pregnant at 18 or 19 years old. She was still living with her parents while going to school during this time and was terrified to tell her family. But she eventually did and, while they were very disappointed with her, they did support her throughout her pregnancy. She continued to live with them until she was able to move out with her douchebag of a boyfrie…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/14 01:25 AM
2

Clearly, I did not know he was shit. He was a perfect gentleman before we got married and said and did all the right things. Having been raised in a very religious home (and knowing he had been also), I was familiar with waiting til marriage. He told me he wanted to "do things the right way." I notice that you lay the blame on me for my ex-husband's behavior as well as dismiss the point about my mother's abusive ex-husband (followed by a 30 year marriage that I'm sure most RP men and women would…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/14 01:13 AM
2

Which is fair, I think if you fucked up you give her the money even without a court order because she wasted her best years giving you a family. Men are financially gutted because women are sore losers(to be fair men are pathetic losers, ad that is the main reason women leave in the first place) and the state gives them the knife. I'm confused. Okay, story time. My friend has been with her husband for several years. They have no children because when she accidentally got pregnant he wanted her t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/14 01:06 AM
3

This is such a fucking crock. Wanna know something amazing? Literally every divorced woman, when I ask why she left, will say she was "abused". They never say "I was an insufferable bitch who stopped having sex with him 3 years ago" or even accept ANY of the blame for the divorce, like "he was kind of an asshole all the time, but I wasn't a saint either." They never say that. It's always "I was abused". Every divorced woman I've ever dated or even met says this. I'm just gonna throw this out the…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/14 12:39 AM
1

My husband has told me that if I'm not in the mood that he'd rather wait until we'll both enjoy it. I feel like it's being used because if I'm not in the mood then I'm not enjoying it and if I'm not enjoying it than I'm just a receptacle for him to get off in. I am willing often enough. I have not found any person outside of this sub who thinks I'm making him do anything horrible by having sex every other day. I really think we just have to agree ti disagree here.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/14 02:41 AM
3

Yes, to me having to have sex anytime he wanted to regardless of my feelings, would be the same thing as being used. It would be something awful for me to be used just for sex, which is what it would be in my opinion if he knew I didn't want to. I really and truly have no idea how else to say this.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/14 02:13 AM
3

I was going to respond to your other post, but I'll just stay here. I have not been phrasing it as if he's evil - you've been interpreting it that way. I have said multiple times that our needs and wants are both valid. Therefore if he wants to have sex when I don't want to, I consider if I've said no to him lately. If I have, then I'll do it anyway. If I haven't, I don't feel bad about saying no. He's told me many times not to feel guilty if I say no because he doesn't want me to have sex with …
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/14 01:37 AM
2

This is all fine and I'm truly happy that it works for you. I honestly am. What does it have to do with my ex husband? Are you comparing my husband having sex every other day to my ex husband denying me sex for weeks at a time? Because that would be a very skewed analogy.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/14 01:22 AM
3

I'm not sure if you're purposely trying not to understand what I'm saying. No, I am not willing to have sex with my husband every single time he wants sex. I am a part of the relationship and my wants and needs matter too. If you can't see that, I really think I'm just going to have to end this conversation.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/14 01:12 AM
3

It would make me unhappy to feel like I was obligated to have sex when I didn't want to. Like I've said, for me sex is an intimate, personal act. It loses its meaning if I'm obligated to do it just so that my husband can get off every day. I'll say it again: It would make me unhappy to feel obligated to have sex solely for my husband to get off every day and not for both our enjoyment. I don't know how else to say it. I think my feelings are valid and I'm not sure why it's so difficult for you t…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/14 01:00 AM
2

I don't think I'm being told what to do by any means and I'm sorry if I'm coming off that way. I'm only responding to the comments in response to my post. I do feel like there's some judgement on the part of some of the women here (I'm making a power play, my husband's going to go into deep depression, the world doesn't revolve around me, we have a technique problem, etc.). I'm sure some people here feel that I'm being judgmental as well, though I'm not trying to be. I've only replied to questio…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/14 12:45 AM
2

Different people have different levels of sex drives. Only wanting to have sex every other day is not considered a low sex drive anywhere I've been (on the internet or elsewhere). No, I'm not in the mood the first few days of my period because I'm physically miserable. Maybe you have easy periods but not all of us are that lucky. There's no attraction or technique problem, we just have different level libido - his is higher (as is yours).
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/14 12:33 AM
7

I doubt my husband (or any man) is going to go into deep depression from only having sex every other day. He isn't the center of the world either, dear. Our marriage is a partnership - one where each person's feelings and needs are considered equally. He wouldn't mind sex every day and I wouldn't mind sex a couple times per week. Every other day is a compromise we're both happy with. If anyone is so sensitive that having to go without sex for a day sends them into deep depression, I'd honestly r…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/14 12:23 AM
5

I just checked with him and he says my words were not offensive. He did correct me and say it would likely be 2-3 times per day, not 5.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/14 12:13 AM
5

It's pretty much that I don't feel obligated to have sex when I'm not in the mood anymore than I feel obligated to eat spaghetti when I'm not in the mood. I'm not sure why that's difficult to understand.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/14 12:00 AM
1

Or... or maybe I just don't have sex if I'm not in the mood to have sex. If you legitimately do not want to have sex, can your husband still enjoy it? Mine does not. It's awkward for him knowing that I'm only doing it to allow him to get off because he feels like he's using my body for his pleasure when I'm getting none. Like I've said in other comments, if submitting to his every sexual desire makes you happy and works within your relationship, then that's great for you! It's a little judgmenta…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 11:50 PM
2

I'm not sure why my sex habits are on trial (my mom knows my username for goodness sake), but we generally have sex every other day. The exception is if I'm ovulating and I'm feeling in a... more-often mood. Likewise, if I'm PMSing and am miserable, it could be more like 3-4 days in between. But if my husband looks and me and can tell I feel like crap, he usually doesn't even make an attempt. He wants me to enjoy it also and knows I won't if I feel terrible.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 11:40 PM
5

Thank you. And yes, it probably does come partly from my experience in the military where women HAVE to prove their equality or be walked all over. Something that just doesn't work within that system. I was also in a previous marriage with a man who would definitely be classified as RP. I was a second class citizen to him and it never sat well with me. He asserted his dominance in all the wrong ways and I eventually left him because he only "allowed" me sex about once every few weeks after I'd b…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 11:30 PM
3

I think that's a little harsh. My husband knows that he wants sex multiple times per day. He also knows that I don't want sex multiple times per day. He's not offended by this.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 11:20 PM
2

Since I can only post every 10 minutes in /r/redpillwomen I'm going to respond to both your comments here. I'm not sure I follow. We do not have sex every single time he wants to have sex because that would be way too much for me. However, he is happy with the amount of sex he does get as it is not at all infrequent. If two people wearing the pants in the relationship works for you, that's fine, but you also have a skewed vision of RPW relationship dynamics if you think that our husbands are our…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 11:09 PM
5

Yes, it would make me unhappy to feel obligated to have sex when I was not in the mood or did not feel well. Sex is obviously a very intimate act and (for me) it loses a lot of the intimacy if I'm doing it solely because he wants to. Likewise, my husband has told me time and again that he doesn't want to do it if I don't want to. He doesn't want it to be just about him but about both of us. Like I've said elsewhere, if it makes you happy or improves your marriage to have sex whenever your husban…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 10:59 PM
5

I'm not demonizing his needs. Why should I have to do something I don't want to do (on an everyday basis, I'm not saying I don't do things just to make him happy because I do) to make him happy at the expense of my own happiness? Our marriage thrives on compromise. Men have needs other than just sex. I am not going to have sex with him every single time he wants sex and I'm not going to allow myself to feel guilty for saying no to sex when I'm not in the mood. It's a two person act and loses mea…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 10:49 PM
7

He is. He gets sex very regularly. Why should I have to do something I don't want to do (on an everyday basis, I'm not saying I don't do things just to make him happy because I do) to make him happy at the expense of my own happiness? Our marriage thrives on compromise. I find it interesting that the sentence you picked out was the one about sex.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 10:39 PM
9

I didn't post the question, but I'll answer. how sure are you that he would tell us HIS needs are being met in your "equalist" relationship? I think he would agree both our needs are met. His are not met at the expense of my needs and vice versa. does he get as much sex and as many blowjobs as hed like? Of course not. If he got as much sex as he wanted it would be five times per day. I'm not his sex slave. have you kept up your appearance? Absolutely. Why wouldn't I? does "talking it out" and "c…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 10:25 PM
3

Is a RPW also able to tell her husband "no"?
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 10:13 PM
2

I appreciate your honesty. This is actually the first actual response to the questions I asked so far. It seems to work well for you, while I obviously couldn't be happy in the same situation. But I'm sure you wouldn't be happy in mine! I suppose it makes sense for someone who enjoys being submissive to be with a dominant man. Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 11:50 PM
4

You didn't read far enough in the comments, but if that's how the RPW act on their own turf then I'm glad they're not all like some of the women I've encountered here.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 07:58 PM
0

Okay, well I (a woman. Shocking, I know) was actually in the military and cannot understand why someone would want a relationship like the one I had with my commanding officers. Better?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 05:07 PM
1

Actually I've been advised against posting there. Apparently they do not welcome outsiders with different opinions. I never said anyone had daddy issues. Once again, I explained the title in the post. If that's what you read into it, I'm sorry. I'm not sure what else to say about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 05:05 PM
-3

I did point out your mistake of basically saying "our way isn't the only way but if you try it you'll see it's the only way." I didn't realize I needed to explain it beyond quoting your comment. I'm not going to apologize for the title because I explained it in my OP. I'm not sure what you want from me. I've not once said that your way is wrong. I've said multiple times that I don't understand it. No one has really given me their reason for preferring the RPW lifestyle beyond "it's evolution."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 04:50 PM
0

No, it's not the only way, but once you try it anything else will feel cold, distant and fake. I'm not sure you know how the English language works. In fact all that I am asking from feminist is to accept it as a viable alternative and not be judgemental and shame women that try and like it. I believe I already did that when I said "I don't disagree with your lifestyle as it applies to you." Also, I'm not a feminist. I'm in between. Happy mediums.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 03:54 PM
6

Why is it difficult to grasp that there are relationships where either partner would be there to catch the other? I don't disagree with your lifestyle as it applies to you. I disagree with RPW (and men) implying that this is the only way to live and that I'm wrong for loving a man who isn't the biggest and baddest and isn't as good at budgeting as I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 03:37 PM
0

I've responded to your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 03:35 PM
-1

Most of the women there are fawning over masculine men in their lives, not second fathers. Obedience to a man does not always equal daddy issues. Just to be clear, I did not say anyone has daddy issues. I pointed out that the relationships I've read about in /r/RedPillWomen is one that is similar to the relationship between me and my father (minus sex, obviously). If that's what you're into, then more power to you. I just can't grasp it and was hoping at least a few women would explain to me the…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 03:35 PM
1

I'm in agreement with /u/yonderlander. We no longer need men to fight for us, hunt for us, etc. Yes, we can agree that men are generally much stronger than women (though this is not always the case). However, that says nothing about whether the genders are equal in other ways. I think many women would argue that, though men can lift heavier things, women are much more physically resilient (periods and childbearing, anyone?). There is no longer a need for every woman to have babies so not all wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 03:27 PM
2

I'm just throwing this out there: not all women are attracted to the biggest, most physically powerful man they can find. I've always been attracted to thin, toned men - I think huge muscles are a huge turnoff and have never, ever gone after the biggest, buffest, most "manly man" I could find. I know there are many other women like this out there. Attraction is not one size fits all, though you seem to imply evolution makes it so.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 03:19 PM
8

When? I told what my view was and then asked a question about the views of RPW.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 03:13 PM
4

You don't know me (Imma beast)!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 02:08 AM
6

I didn't realize I'd argued with Dana (who's Dana?). I know I said some things about Diablo and Spartacus and commented on a post that said "sluts" should consider everyone who's raped before they do their "slut" things (because what?). I didn't know disagreeing wasn't allowed there. Oops. That's what I get for not reading the FAQ.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/14 02:07 AM
11

Yep, and I explained that in my question also. To me, this kind of relationship (what I read in the sub) sounds like how I behaved around my father and I can't imagine going from my father to marry someone who I had to treat like my father. Not loaded.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/14 11:31 PM
6

How is the question loaded? I asked a pretty straightforward questions: So why is it that RPW decide to live their lives this way? What need does it fill for you? Why would you rather be submissive than equal? I honestly don't even know what bluepill is. Like I said, I found /r/redpillwomen yesterday.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/14 11:28 PM
12

...my husband is a pussy because I happen to be better at managing money? Or perhaps my dad taught me how and his dad did not. Yep, probably the more likely answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/14 11:13 PM
1

Fair enough.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/14 10:25 PM
1

I think there are bigger issues than a lot of the causes that people support. Just because people support one issue doesn't mean that they don't support another. You make it sound like it has to be an either/or. For reference, I'm not a feminist. I just don't agree with the judgmental attitude in this post.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/14 09:16 PM
2

People are not made from cookie cutters and not everyone likes everything. There's nothing wrong with that.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/14 08:24 PM
1

He actually said he loves to go down on her. He didn't say she loved it. While she could love it, just because he enjoys going down doesn't mean she does. Do you enjoy doing everything your husband enjoys?
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/14 08:23 PM
1

Many guys are attracted to the idea of a zombie apocalypse/social collapse, because it means that they get to be heroes once again, fighting for friends and kin in a barbaric and brutal world that demands strength and honor. Okay, second post. I think I might need to let my husband know I could be a man. Because I love gaming and I love movies/books/games/shows about the zombie apocalypse, social collapse, etc, more than just about any other genre. I find urban exploration absolutely fascinating…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/14 08:06 PM
2

This is the only comment I've ever made in this sub, but I just have to throw this out there: I'm not a feminist nor do I fit in with the women of this sub - I'm in the middle. That being said, I hate chick flicks. My favorite TV shows are Spartacus and Game of Thrones. My favorite video games are Diablo and WoW. I do not play with other people, I solo. I think saying that women don't like to play a game or watch a movie about "the human spirit being ripped from a tattered corpse and eaten by a …
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/14 08:02 PM
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