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View 1 posts and 30 comments by volkss on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

volkss/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 02:19 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I was in the same boat where buttons were pushed to the point where I would have to yell just to get a word in. Figure out her fighting tactics and create boundaries not to be baited into arguments. Therapy will help. Until then, take it easy on yourself. You're human. The silver lining is you have recognized what you have done and want to avoid doing it anymore. That in itself is a positive. Seriously though, the path you are heading down will be easier to travel with a good lawyer and a good t…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 03:24 PM
1

Drop it or be dragged by it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 04:27 PM
4

I had always heard of the stages of grief, but what nobody tells you is that they aren't chronological. The different stages will come and go. Sometimes a couple of them will visit at the same time and others will drop in when you least expect it. It gets easier with time. Take it easy on yourself. This is a major moment in life and it's ok to be down. Just know that there will be ups again too.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 04:16 PM
5

I hear that last line. I didn't want the divorce, but I am thankful that she asked for it. I was happy being miserable for the sake of my family, but I was fast tracking myself to an early grave living in a fog. I'm not sure how she's doing because we don't talk about anything outside of our children. I feel like I have a 2nd chance to live and have been doing it up the best I can. Things are good and I feel happy again.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 12:19 PM
12

She's in the Find Out portion of the Fuck Around. More than likely she's just trying to keep you available as a backup option. Go through this sub and see how many guys tried it again just to have it all crash and burn. You've gone through the hardest part. Your boys will be happier with parents that aren't faking a happy family. Sounds like you got a good thing going. Ride that wave. Find your vibe.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 10:31 PM
5

Sounds like maybe you're missing something that needs to be addressed. Just hear me out, before you point your finger, make sure you're being honest with yourself. Find a therapist to see if you can discover what seems to be missing or consider some couple counseling to see if you and your wife can get on the same page. Put in the work. Make an honest effort before tossing a marriage away.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 04:12 PM
21

I worked with an older gentleman who was a shitshow of an employee. You know the type. Drinks at the bar and got in a wreck with the company truck. He did say 1 thing to me that has stuck with me for years. He said he'd been with his girlfriend for 10 years. He enjoys the sex too much to marry her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 05:20 AM
2

Tom Drunk by Hopeton Lewis. When You're Gone by Jesse Stewart All Day, All Night by California Honeydrops Nothing much to say about these. They've keep popping up over the past year and I connect to them.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 05:43 PM
3

There ya go. Try to escape the marriage with as much dignity and grace as you can. Keep the high ground.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 04:54 PM
3

aging like milk has me giggling. Saw a pic of my ex yesterday and cringed. She now has 3 chins and looks like a bull frog ready to croak. I know I shouldn't find any enjoyment in that, but I'll just call it a karma makeover.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 07:26 PM
1

True...by the time the back and forth between the lawyers is finished it would most likely not be worth the time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 01:34 PM
1

Have not heard about this penalty. Thanks for bringing it up.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 01:07 PM
1

I have this thought and I think this is where a good lawyer comes into play. In this scenario let say there is 200k in equity to be divided. If I sold the house outright at the 200k profit there would be closing cost associated with the sale so the final number may be something closer to 170K in profit (hypothetically). Is this a valid point to offer less than the 100K that would be split if I just refi and not sell the house? I guess I'm going to suffer a bit of loss on my end no matter how I p…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 01:06 PM
1

Acquired during the marriage. I know that it is an asset that needs to be split. I'm just unsure about how to move forward and what my options are. I'm glad I asked this question. I made the mistake of filling out an online calculator yesterday and my phone/text/email have been paying the price since, but I have learned about a few options I have and that is helpful. I already feel the stress levels decreasing with the more information I gather.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 01:01 PM
1

Thanks. I didn't know about borrowing against the Ira. I'll look into it but am kind of leaning towards giving her all of that so I won't need as much to refi.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 05:14 PM
1

Just got off the phone with my bank about a home equity loan. 8.5% was much higher than I anticipated. Still at those rates the total monthly payment for both loans is about on par as what small rentals are going for around my area. Just not sure if I can afford it yet because CS and alimony have not been finalized. Maybe I rent out a room in the house to help offset. Using up all my retirement is something I would consider to help offset prices. Guess I need a better number for what the profit …
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 04:47 PM
1

Just trying to find info about what my options are with the house. I realize it's marital property and needs to be split. It's tough finding out about all the loans and maneuvers that are available without getting a dozen calls from loan agencies. I hear ya with minimizing other charges. She wants me to carry her insurance after the divorce. To me that is just salt in the wound. Marriage is over but she wants me to keep supporting her. That doesn't make sense to me.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 03:39 PM
1

It's a tough decision. Be house poor but build up equity moving forward or sell outright and throw it away on rent or a 7.whatever mortgage rate.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 03:32 PM
1

I gotchya. Apologies for not being totally transparent with all my personal finances. That's the IT training kicking in. STBXW was an owner operator that never filed taxes or anything responsible. She has already submitted paperwork stating she wants half my retirement and half the equity of the house. I'm hoping there's some wiggle room but she is out for every penny that she can get. So I'm just trying to see all the options that I may have to decide what to do with the largest asset. At the m…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 03:30 PM
1

My name is the only one on the mortgage. There is enough equity to buy her half out. There are other things to divide but the house is the biggest asset.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 02:29 PM
4

I had that nagging feeling, too. I just knew something was off. She had gone through my personal messages (she found nothing because i was a faithful husband), so I figured personal devices were fair play at that point. She was having a weak emotional affair with some dude she met at a festival but the shocker that I found going through her messages is that not only had she developed a healthy pill habbit, but she was selling pills to her friends out of the house while I was at work and the kids…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 04:38 AM
4

Be strong for your kid...Be a badass that doesn't crack for your kid. Hold your shit together for your kid. Try to exit the shit show with as much grace as you can...for your kid. When things are darkest, be the light for your kid. Don't worry about what she's doing. You know where she can go. Never wrestle with a pig because you'll end up covered in shit and they like it. Just focus on being a bad ass dad that your kid looks up to and will always remember how their dad kept his shit together an…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 07:49 PM
1

I heard my ex's version of me and I get it. I hate me based on her version too, but unfortunately I lived through it all and know there is so much more to the story that she leaves out or even acknowledges. This has been my line when mutuals want to rehash my failed marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 05:06 PM
2

How did you hang onto your house?
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 05:18 PM
12

I knew it was over when I had been putting in a solid effort to repair our relationship and she just took it as an opportunity to inflict pain while I was vulnerable. My daughter's 13th birthday is when I knew divorce was the best option. We went to a water park. After a couple of hours the stbxw checked out and grabbed a chair to play on her phone for the remainder of the day. She would ask how much longer we were going to be there while her daughter was having a blast on her birthday. I rememb…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 05:12 PM
3

She tried to hoover me a couple of months after saying she was done. The moment I asked what she was going to work on to improve our relationship, she checked out because I had the nerve to suggest that she needed to make changes as well if our marriage was to work. It's just sad how you don't recognize how controlling and manipulative a person is until its over and you've pulled away. Now she pulls her petty shit through lawyers. As annoying as it is, she is just documenting how petty and comba…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 03:53 AM
5

Jeebus, and that only got you 50/50? Divorce laws are so Fd in this country.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 04:57 PM
5

Big Brothers/Mentoring programs. Volunteer somewhere. I even enjoy picking up trash along the river. My kiddos have started to enjoy helping me do that when they are with me too.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 06:43 PM
2

Don't do anything that you will have to explain yourself for in court. Best revenge is a good life. My stbx has been spewing bs for over a year now. Just focus on what puts you in a strong position when you stand in front of a judge.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 05:43 PM
1

Somebody on another sub had asked the question what it meant to work on yourself. The answer that hit hardest for me was to take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself is this somebody you would date. I realised my pending divorce is so damn sticky and messy, that I would run far away from somebody with the same shitshow on their hands. Being honest with yourself can't go wrong. Also, I'm 46 with 2 kids. Not sweating it. I figure the past 14 years were spent trying to make somebody else happ…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 06:37 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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