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View 1 posts and 620 comments by vorter on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
160

Inner Game vorter/r/seduction25/10/21 02:26 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

Yeah talk to multiple at once. They’re probably doing the same. I don’t necessarily think you’re doing anything wrong, it’s just how it is. I went through the same exact thing you did so many times but eventually got a relationship. Just don’t get too attached and stay the course.
/r/seduction21/08/25 12:37 PM
1

Relatively that could look scrawny I guess, or by American standards. His BMI is 21.4 though which is almost exactly the midpoint of the healthy weight range. It looks like he has some decent muscle definition.
/r/seduction16/02/24 03:19 AM
1

Dude definitely is not “very scrawny”.
/r/seduction16/02/24 02:43 AM
1

This is me down to the shuffle pit. I’ve had no problem getting dates/girls from college or dating apps but I’ve never met even one at the hundreds of shows or festivals I’ve been to. I’ve made hundreds of friends though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 09:43 PM
3

Agreed, but the inverse it true for skinny men. Being small and skinny is about as unattractive as being a bit overweight as a man (unless you’re tall & lanky) while the same is generally seen as attractive in women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 06:27 PM
3

I do think the household breadwinner type of roles are leaning more egalitarian but on the smaller level things like initiating and planning dates, going for a kiss or getting intimidate for the first time are still expected of the man, even among progressive women. Physical traits like strength and personality traits like confidence and assertiveness are universally considered attractive in men, but these are just kind of innate to biology and aren’t likely to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 02:03 AM
–

That’s per day. Total difference per week would be ~3hrs +-0.5 depending on if it’s calculated based on a 5-day or 7-day week. Combined work+housework+childwork hours come very close with a slightly higher total for men. Married couples with a sole breadwinner wife is heavily unbalanced yes, but that accounts for 6% of all married couples. Primary breadwinner wife couples are still a bit more unbalanced but that makes up another 10%. 55% of couples have a sole/primary breadwinner husband. The re…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 01:57 AM
2

Same, the ones that prefer to be single aren’t single due to an inability to find good guys (except a few that had major issues themselves).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 01:40 AM
6

An even better example would be if you found out the girl simply dated a black guy in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 04:30 AM
9

It’s not nearly as rare of an opinion off Reddit. Most women I know IRL that go outside and have a social life are ok with it as long as it’s done respectfully and the guy is at least somewhat socially calibrated.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 06:23 PM
1

Perhaps better sources of practical dating advice, like the book “Models” by Mark Manson.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 06:05 PM
1

I’ve always had a good amount of success in this niche but less so from women around my age halfway through my 20s. Compared to high school or college being skinny is more unattractive than not, so the move now is to get swole.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 01:18 AM
3

Those aren’t icks because they’re rational turn offs. An ick is over something totally benign, like the examples OP gave.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 04:40 PM
1

That’s very irregular and probably something you want to disclose ahead of the first date. Even most women would lose interest if there wasn’t a kiss by the end of the 2nd date.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 02:58 PM
21

An ick is more specific, a turn off from something benign and irrational that forever ruins any and all attraction. Something like feminine hand gestures or a high pitched laugh (or the opposite in a woman). Road rage can be a yellow flag and a legitimate reason to be turned off. OP didn’t mention road rage, maybe that’s what they meant but I could imagine it just being a guy getting lost and confused.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 01:29 AM
8

Thing is dating is the one area in life where equality kinda just gets thrown out of the window and trying to fight the status quo too much results in failure. I pretty much only date progressive women and I’m still expected to take the lead in the early dating stages, like planning dates and even paying the first one. They’re also still generally attracted to masculine traits. It’s like that Bo Burnham song: “You want a guy that’s sweet, a guy that’s tough. A feminist who likes to pay for stuff…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 12:35 PM
3

The stats are from a 2023 Pew report. 63% of men and 34% of women ages 18-29 are single.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 08:07 PM
2

Lol just yesterday I replied to a comment of a bi woman who said she would divorce her husband if he came out as bi. There’s also that Salon survey of women where 63% said they believed sexuality was fluid and 47% had ever been attracted to women, yet 63% also said they would not date a bisexual man.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 09:33 PM
1

I thought a big part of the movement was fighting double standards like a man who has had many sexual partners wanting a virgin woman. Would most consider that perfectly fine as long as he doesn’t insult or demean promiscuous women?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 09:12 PM
2

Based take
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 03:13 AM
1

Great post and one of the most empathetic posts I’ve seen here.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 01:10 PM
–

Idk I just like to pedantically correct people online.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:21 AM
1

Neiighhhhh, I’m a horse. Pls tranquilize me straight into a k-hole.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:15 AM
2

63% of men and 34% of women aged 18-29 in the US are single according to Pew. Most of the guys complaining online are under 30 so it makes sense why they think that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:54 PM
–

There is no problem. I think you’re replying to the wrong person.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:26 PM
4

That’s a big conjecture. It seems far more likely that men would tend to have a lower standard for cleanliness/tidiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 02:48 AM
5

I agree, but it is the reality of a lot of relationships today. Based on actual studies or posts on Reddit? On average mothers and fathers work about the same total weekly hours, just less time working a job but more time on housework/childcare for women and vice-versa for men. There was one report where SAHDs had an embarrassingly far fewer number of hours spent on housework than SAHMs. SAHDs were still far less common than SAHMs.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:14 AM
5

True but they also tend to work less hours. According to Pew the average total hours worked (job + housework + childcare) averaged up to nearly the same between mothers and fathers (in the US).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 11:46 PM
3

There’s obviously no step-by-step book of tricks that’s going to somehow apply for all women. The majority of men and women do share some traits they find attractive in the gender they’re interested in though. For women, confidence and height are near universally considered attractive while being introverted/extroverted or a homebody is more of a varied preference. Similarly, there’s a set of dating skills that most men that date women will need to learn, like how to flirt, set up dates, communi…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 11:29 PM
1

You’re welcome!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 04:46 PM
1

It’s near exactly as I’d expected, around 10% considering the age demographic.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 02:38 AM
8

This study of college students, possibly the most likely demographic to break dating gender norms, had 11% of dates initiated by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 01:18 AM
1

Only if it’s swimmer-build lean or tall and lanky. Being skinny (say a BMI around 20) + not tall is probably about as unattractive as being slightly to moderately overweight as a man. Many women won’t date a guy who weighs the same or less than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/23 12:44 PM
1

That’s a pretty damn good conversion rate on a swipe app like Bumble/Tinder, although the women I know can filter and get far less than 50% only looking for hookups. For comparison, as a guy 90% of my dates come from Hinge where my conversion rate blows Bumble out of the water, at 1 date per 20 matches, and 1 match per 25 likes (all sent w/ personalized comments). The % of quality women tends to be a bit better than that of men for sure (mostly from pictures, prompts are usually terrible for bot…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 02:32 AM
–

Yeah it’s the same with attractive men. Attractive men and women generally receive good treatment through life and tend to be nice back. The catch is they’re almost always taken and even if not, getting commitment will be difficult with all the competition.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 01:24 AM
4

I think that effect on self-esteem is even more important than just gaining the skills/experience the longer it snowballs without success. For example, losing your virginity isn’t really a big deal because of the experience of sex, it’s significant because it eases the part of your subconscious wondering if there’s something fundamentally wrong with you that makes you unlovable. You realize “hey, if I was able to do it once I’ll be able to do it again”. The longer someone goes without getting a …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 01:00 AM
3

You should read Models by Mark Manson, especially the part on polarization.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 12:38 AM
5

The real gotcha is stating that women enforce toxic masculinity as often as men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 10:37 PM
6

Well most women do care that the guy is taller than them and those that say they don’t care about height also tend to also be shorter than the vast majority of men, so nothing is abnormal about your preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 03:07 AM
3

Curious, how tall are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 02:22 AM
2

That’s one of the best things about Hinge. The limited likes without paying means people are more selective with their likes. Men generally report getting more matches while women reports getting less, but for both the quality of matches is usually better (or at least tend to respond more).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 12:31 AM
2

I wish Pew did a bit more digging and broke down the 18-29 statistics into smaller age brackets. I imagine most of the ~30% gap is late 20s women dating early 30s men but that can’t explain the whole gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 12:21 AM
1

Personally I don’t have any specific desire to lead nor have a traditional relationship, but taking the lead in the early stages of dating is a gender role that’s still expected by the vast majority of women and expected of them by the vast majority of men. In more traditional relationships it’s expected throughout the entire relationship, not just at the beginning. This includes things like approaching, asking women out on dates, planning and paying for those first few dates, picking up on hint…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/23 02:38 AM
5

It’s a bad analogy and I think “Don’t ask a customer how to sell a car, ask a successful car salesman” is much better.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 03:46 AM
1

That’s because many men on dating apps are purely looking to hook up — irrespective of their level of attractiveness. From the very recent Pew report 48% of women and 42% of men were using dating apps to find an LTR. A similar percentage of both were looking for something casual but a higher % of men were looking for hookups. So that’s partially true but many are looking for something serious and casual at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/23 01:33 AM
2

So it’s actually fairly common and even some bisexual women wouldn’t date bisexual men. In this survey, 63% of the women said they would not date a bisexual man. The same % also believed sexuality is fluid and 47% had been attracted to other women before. I’m thinking most of those are bi-curious women, and those who date other women more seriously are far more receptive to bisexual men. You can find many posts on Reddit from both bisexual men and cishet women that back this up.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 12:41 AM
1

God that username is gold.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 08:03 AM
2

To a degree, but most people can agree on a range, say 6-9 or 3-5 of how attractive someone is. Some traits are almost universally considered attractive/unattractive like height or not being obese, but some are more subjective like hair color, facial hair, or build (e.g. lean swimmer’s build vs bulky lumberjack build).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 10:54 PM
2

Sometimes women get seen as desperate for making a move That’s basically just getting rejected which is going to happen most of the time. Anyways, dating is easier for women but far riskier. Dating is harder for men but far safer. After people get to around their 40s, it might just become harder for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 06:09 AM
1

Meh, I’ve found that women who are pretty much halfway between those two extremes have been the most stable. Yeah because they have both accountability AND empathy, which most stable people have.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 12:47 AM
7

What if the woman had more dating experience including relationships? Would the power dynamic be reversed?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/23 04:20 AM
–

No because socializing falls under their “leisure time” category. I’m 90% sure the only difference is time spent on “personal care” which isn’t included in “leisure time”.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 12:28 AM
–

I couldn’t find anything that explicitly explains the 3hr gap in leisure time besides some activities in that category, but I did find that “free time” was fairly close and there was no difference in perception of how much free time they had. Free time is usually measured by the residual time after subtracting time spent in paid work, housework, child care, commuting and personal care, while leisure time is more about time spent in activities that relate to relaxation. Between 2003 and 2008, fat…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 12:24 AM
–

This more recent 2016 Pew Research analysis (#6) shows women work less hours (~25/week) in a job (vs ~43/week for men) but make up those hours with more housework/childcare and the total paid + unpaid hours worked for men and women match up fairly close with slightly more total hours on the fathers’ side.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 11:56 PM
2

I guess it depends on the age demographic? I’m in my 20s and virtually every woman I know who wants a relationship is already in one or is able to find a new one relatively quickly after a breakup. Maybe like one or two exceptions due to something like severe mental health issues or obesity.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 11:30 PM
6

Yeah if anything I think more attractive people are nicer/more pleasant on average. They are however less likely to commit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 11:07 PM
7

Common maybe, but that lovebombing is only effective on a small subset of women who are more vulnerable and see the guy as way out of her league. Most well adjusted women will get the ick from all that neediness and pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 04:31 PM
1

It’s more about a guy that CAN lead/provide/protect, not necessarily always having to. It’s pretty much a given that the vast majority of straight women are attracted to masculine traits but to varying degrees. Confidence and assertiveness are quite universally desired in a man, but being the breadwinner less so.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 03:47 AM
3

It sounds like your problem is more with general insecurity and being used for validation instead of interest in who you are as a person, which is valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 02:34 AM
2

More men would mean more men looking for relationships than women. Your 2nd paragraph is true though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/23 04:19 PM
3

Most women want LTRs, not casual sex The gap isn’t that large. From the very recent Pew report 48% of women and 42% of men were using dating apps to find an LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/23 03:42 PM
17

Yes, or at least do the typical thing of getting advice from those successful guys, an older brother, etc. Around that age is when I first read Models by Mark Manson (which I wouldn’t call entirely RP), and that taught me a lot about attraction and dating that directly led to more success.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/23 09:25 PM
1

Thing is skinny non-fit men are seen as attractive as overweight (but not obese) men, while skinny non-fit women are seen as marginally less attractive than fit women but far more attractive than overweight women. It’s super common to see these skinny men and women pair up in college but not so much later in their 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/23 01:26 AM
3

I’m bisexual and not straight so maybe that’s the difference? Yeah I’ve noticed the women who give good men’s dating advice almost always tend to date women themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/23 02:00 AM
10

They’re either assuming the woman is already emotionally invested and is doing a lot more than she actually is, or else giving advice as if there’s an established relationship already. Proved his point lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/23 01:55 AM
1

I’d still say men care more about looks, but also have much lower standards and aren’t as picky about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 12:21 AM
39

Source? This 2016 Pew Research analysis (#6) shows women work less hours (~25/week) in a job (vs ~43/week for men) but make up those hours with more housework/childcare and the total hours worked for men and women match up fairly close with slightly more total hours on the fathers’ side.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 12:17 AM
5

You might be thinking of this 2016 Pew Research analysis (#6) which shows women work less hours (~25/week) in a job (vs ~43/week for men) but make up those hours with more housework/childcare and the total hours worked for men and women match up fairly close with slightly more total hours on the fathers’ side.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 12:03 AM
3

Yeah I’ve never seen a single person buy a drink for a stranger more than maybe once and don’t know why someone would with the risk of being drugged. Then again I’ve never been to a place with a gendered cover charge so that might just be an older tradition from shittier nightlife venues.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/23 01:28 AM
1

Your source says it’s a 1% gap ($0.99:$1).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/23 01:16 AM
2

What’s interesting is as an Asian guy I’ve had far more luck with almost every race of women except other Asian women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 12:56 AM
30

Bravo. This is the type of high quality posts I’m here for.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 04:58 PM
1

I would say r/MensLib and r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates do just that, although I wouldn’t consider the former part of the manosphere but think the latter could be included.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 06:03 AM
13

I suppose this will vary greatly case by case, but on average men and women work about the same number of hours, just more hours in housework/childcare for women and more hours working a job for men. This 2016 Pew Research analysis (#6) shows women work less hours (~25/week) in a job (vs ~43/week for men) but make up those hours with more housework/childcare and the total hours worked for men and women match up fairly close with slightly more total hours on the fathers’ side. Fathers are also fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 06:06 PM
3

As a guy dating in my 20s, incredibly common but easy to spot and avoid. I know the same is likely common for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 12:40 AM
1

I actually think more attractive people tend to be nicer on average, just due to them being treated better by others in life (halo effect/pretty privilege). Two caveats: The nice & attractive people are more likely to already be taken, so the mean & attractive ones are over represented in the dating pool. More attractive people aren’t more likely to be assholes, BUT they are less likely to commit. I hear far more complaints from women about a guy not willing to commit despite treating them well/…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 01:17 AM
17

This is a fairly mainstream concept and isn’t even a “pill” thing. Men will generally lower their standards for hookups while women will lower theirs for a relationship (and vice-versa).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 06:20 PM
11

No not all. The ones that do are shamed and called pick-mes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 05:19 AM
17

What I don’t get are the replies saying things like: It’s pure projection. I’ve met so many men throughout the years whose romantic history was full of them chasing women, lying to women, cheating on women or dumping them PURELY because there was a hotter chick available. Despite you saying you’re the exact opposite of that type of guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 05:16 AM
13

I found it interesting how many bisexual women wouldn’t date bisexual men. In this survey, 63% of the women said they would not date a bisexual man. The same % also believed sexuality is fluid and 47% had been attracted to other women before. I’m thinking most of those are bi-curious women, and those who date other women more seriously are far more receptive to bisexual men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 09:33 PM
7

Maybe this one: This 2016 Pew Research analysis (#6) shows women work less hours (~25/week) in a job (vs ~43/week for men) but make up those hours with more housework/childcare and the total hours worked for men and women match up fairly close with slightly more total hours on the fathers’ side.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 11:12 PM
0

There is the option to drop off a newborn via safe haven laws, which tbf exist because women were killing their newborns.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 12:47 AM
5

It means there’s more men than women looking for either, including serious relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 09:25 PM
10

Here’s a 2nd very recent source that shows 48% of women and 42% of men on dating apps are looking for a serious relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 07:43 PM
–

No if you check the original tweet at the bottom it says the survey was in 2022, so the gap has increased.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 07:10 PM
–

Yup, it was 51% of men and 32% of women under 30 just a few years ago. I’m very surprised by how significant the increase is.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 03:28 PM
11

Yup, I see women enforce toxic masculinity as often as men within liberal social circles, especially in dating. If most women were suddenly attracted to men that wore dresses, many more men would start wearing them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 05:39 AM
3

Yes that’s what I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 11:02 PM
3

https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/02/02/from-looking-for-love-to-swiping-the-field-online-dating-in-the-u-s/
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 10:13 PM
7

That’s what I’ve seen too. No woman I know has had any issues finding a good match from OLD unless she had major red flags. Only 10% of couples and 20% of couples under 30 in the US met online though (according to the recent Pew study). That’s a lot but still far from the majority.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 08:57 PM
1

I’m 26 and get that all the time in the US but I was just in Seoul and the hotel staff STILL thought I was in high school, so apparently I look super young even by Asian standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 10:14 PM
1

Same for me until I hit my mid-20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 12:56 AM
1

The armchair plastic surgeons in r/TrueRateMe disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 12:45 AM
4

This is it. Best way to handle it is to agree and amplify, or just play it cool and ignore/change the subject.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 03:05 PM
3

The future is now!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/23 07:46 AM
2

That’s not “ripping them apart” though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 06:28 PM
7

Yes that study was misinterpreted. When Dolan says “When their spouse was outside the room, they were miserable”, he wasn’t talking about them simply being in another room and her lying about her happiness when he’s in the room. This was about them being separated completely, aka they had a fight and they’re now living apart. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-philosophers-diaries/202105/is-getting-married-bad-deal-women All other studies suggest married women are happier, the only one …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 03:07 PM
2

Dudes here rip apart on women that say they want to be friends with men that were romantically interested in them. Yes, the incels, which I believe is OP’s point.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 03:04 PM
3

They were fwbs so they were using each other for sex and companionship. If he lied to her about wanting something serious from the beginning that would be another story but nothing she said hints at that being the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 02:59 PM
9

It’s definitely a minority and I have a study of college students to prove it if you want. Dating in my early-mid 20s I’ve had more women willing to pay their own way but never had anyone want to cover my portion as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 02:55 PM
2

Yeah ideally no one would be creeped out but as long as guys stop when they make someone uncomfortable and learn going forward it’s not a big issue. Guys shouldn’t be so afraid of being creepy that they refrain from learning how to approach or flirt.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 03:11 PM
2

Every guy has unintentionally done something creepy while learning game. The funny bad boy used to be creepy when he didn’t do well with girls when he was younger, so he learned to be less or not creepy. The nerd keeps trying and learning these things and it’ll come off as less creepy then before.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 08:15 AM
4

Or even Megan Thee Sirloin.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 05:54 AM
3

The vast majority of couples I see are matched in attractiveness. Other than that I usually see the woman being the more attractive one, but couples where the man is more attractive I see more often in couples that met on dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 12:18 AM
8

Yeah the bar within an existing relationship may be low, but the bar to get there is not.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 12:05 AM
17

She did say in her post: As a woman I KNOW it’s easier for us to get hookups and relationships. But male loneliness is also rising and tons of guys I know have no close friends or even acquaintances.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 07:58 PM
1

Shoulder to hip ratio/broad shoulders =\= muscular (at least directly)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/23 08:31 PM
10

Thing is many women offer to be polite but hold it against the guy if he accepts. I decline the first offer but will accept if she insist to split a second time, but it never gets that far. The only solution I have for it is to just go for drinks on the first date so it doesn’t cost too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 09:02 PM
3

I mean I’m not gonna lie and say it wasn’t fun, but yeah I learned I didn’t get a whole lot out of emotionally devoid hookups. It’s not the actual experience that’s so important though, it’s the knowledge that you were able to do it and can do it again. If I still didn’t have a single romantic or sexual experience when almost all my peers have, it would be hard not to think that something is seriously wrong with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 08:40 PM
1

Kind of? I’d say most struggle at first then less as they get older but it depends on a lot of factors like location and social exposure. I do think it’s become much harder for introverted/shy guys, especially since they gravitate to dating apps which are objectively much harder for men. With decline in shared social spaces and the rise of social media, endless entertainment, and dating apps there’s less incentives for introverted men and women to go out and meet in person. These also contribute…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 01:43 PM
2

Most attractive women I know that want to be in a relationship are and pretty much always have been in a relationship. The rest (only a few) prefer being single and setting up dick appointments with different guys from dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 09:59 PM
4

Hmm that’s strange… I’m assuming the restricted community settings for approved users is already set to the default of “Post only” in new Reddit on desktop. Does it indicate anything in the logs? Apparently this is a common issue with other subs and the common culprits are the spam filter and AutoMod config.
/r/seduction11/01/23 04:36 AM
9

Hey u/recyclablebanthas any updates? Not sure if any users are being approved. Might want to just lift the sub restriction tbh.
/r/seduction11/01/23 02:44 AM
2

It doesn’t describe a type of man but rather toxic behaviors. Men are the perpetrators of toxic masculinity but it is enforced by both men and women, and these days I’d say enforced more by women outside of conservative social circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 10:47 PM
48

I think it’s more so that these young men first ask their friends and family or even Reddit for dating advice and they get useless platitudes like “just be yourself” or “it’ll come when you aren’t looking” which obviously doesn’t do them much good. Then they find guys like Tate giving realistic, actionable advice alongside more questionable things that radicalizes them the further deep they go. This video (Ch2-3 specifically) does a great job of explaining the issues with dating advice given to …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 01:40 AM
1

They’re side eyed because it’s a rare pairing, not necessarily out of judgement.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 07:31 PM
20

Correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 06:24 AM
2

It does matter way more but height is more of a prerequisite that can be make or break. I think most women just want a guy to be taller than her, at which point facial attractiveness is far more important than being even taller. She may be ok with a guy the same height or a few inches shorter if he’s exceptionally handsome or charming, but more than that and nothing can make up for it. Similarly with men, a woman’s facial attractiveness matters way more than her body type but if she’s morbidly o…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 04:53 AM
9

From my experience dating in my 20s this is definitely true. Looks and personality are weighed more heavily. I often hear there’s a big shift in the 30s though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 02:53 AM
3

All I could find was this: However, in other ethnic groups, such as the Hadza people from Tanzania, a study has found that height is irrelevant in choosing a mate. Another study found the same preference in rural Gambia.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 02:14 AM
12

I mean that also shows that 49% of the same age men are in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 05:34 PM
1

Totally. In fact I kinda hope they stumble upon it, but I don’t want to make it seem like I’m on here 24/7 sitting at home.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 03:53 AM
1

Subscribe
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 10:55 PM
3

Most women can identify red flags and disengage in the early dating stages. These women eventually get into healthy relationships and aren’t complaining online. The loudest voices are the minority of women who repeatedly end up with toxic guys and they do need to work on their filtering skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 10:24 PM
2

Well OP hasn’t mentioned being on the ace spectrum, so your comment isn’t really relevant here.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 03:29 AM
3

They are, it’s just that there’s way more men in the pool.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 02:25 AM
3

No the bar is the bare minimum within a relationship. Anytime the bar is mentioned it’s almost always about a guy they’re currently dating or dated. The bar to date is high.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 01:28 AM
4

They vary widely in interests, lifestyles, and looks but are mostly average guys. They do tend to lean more extroverted and have decent social skills. I did have one or two fraternity brothers that were total Kevin Nguyen’s though (not tall but shredded and super extroverted) and they were hooking up with a different girl every weekend (this was at a mostly white school in the south).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 05:13 AM
1

There was a study that I unfortunately can’t find that showed women did factor in race more. The 2017 Pew intermarriage stats OP posted higher up shows that minority women who marry interracially are far more likely to have a white husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 03:45 AM
9

Yup literally every coupled up Asian woman I know, both friends and family, are with a white guy. On the other hand, most coupled up Asian men I know are also with White or Latina women (mostly older Gen Z).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 03:35 AM
3

That’s true the usual rules don’t really apply for Black women.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 03:19 AM
2

There are far more Black women than Asian women (in the US).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 03:18 AM
1

You’re correct that it doesn’t encourage hate crimes, but it does perpetuate toxic masculinity. Would you say prison rape jokes are ok if a criminal “deserved it”? It’s not like current inmates are reading Reddit and being motivated to do so. Very relevant MensLib thread discussing this.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 10:43 PM
1

Fr might be the one place that’s more height obsessed than the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/22 04:00 AM
2

In addition, white culture is more female friendly than other cultures. This doesn’t make much sense. Sure if you’re talking about FOBs but Asian American men are by far the most progressive racial demographic (or maybe after Black Americans) and the most conservative are White men. This gap is even wider for Gen Z and Millennials.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/22 03:55 AM
6

51% of men and 32% of women ages 18-29 in the US are single. The vast majority of guys complaining are under 30 so that checks out.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/22 09:30 PM
0

there is a wider variety of conventionally attractive women these days Eh, variety in what’s socially praised sure but it hasn’t really affected what men are attracted to except for thicc women but that usually means hourglass shape with a big butt but not fat. For guys there’s the dad bod which is also big and husky but also not fat. You’re not going to see an increase in women attracted to short fem boys anytime soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 02:13 AM
1

Can confirm. I was cleaning up in college but all the girls I hooked up with ended up settling down with huskier dudes, with one or two exceptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 02:03 AM
1

It’s not really a thing that most women would openly admit to. I don’t even think it’s a conscious reaction. It just causes the ick.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 01:55 AM
2

Read “Models” by Mark Manson.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/22 06:52 AM
1

Same, I’m guessing you were in your early-20s or younger?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/22 04:07 AM
5

Did everyone forget about West Elm Caleb a year ago? The worst he did was love bomb and ghost a bunch of women and he got fired, doxed, his face plastered across the internet, and even advertisements made riding the trend of shitting on him.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/22 11:08 PM
9

Same source says 51% of men and 32% of women ages 18-29 in the US are single. Most of these guys complaining are under 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/22 03:19 PM
22

Damn I would love those odds. I have about one date per ~25 matches and 1/10 first dates lead to a second, nothing past that yet though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/22 03:16 PM
1

I mean that’s true everywhere, but NYC is the most male-favored city for dating in the US (male:female ratio). It’s extremely fast paced but if you can’t succeed in NYC, it’s not the location that’s holding you back (unless you’re say, super conservative).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/22 03:06 PM
4

Source? According to Pew Research, 51% of men and 32% of women ages 18-29 in the US are single. Makes sense to me that most of the resentful men are young and eventually grow out of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/22 02:59 PM
1

There are threads on this in AskFeminists and AskWomen and they’re quite controversial. The top comments and majority agree that it’s biphobia but it being so controversial even in two extremely leftist subs is quite telling.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 04:26 AM
9

It’s only wrong if you aren’t socially calibrated*.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:11 AM
2

The “friend thought you were cute” approach is also the most common in my experience (early 20s).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 09:44 PM
9

Pew Research: 51% of men and 32% of women ages 18-29 in the US are single
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 01:36 AM
-1

That is a reasonable compromise.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 06:17 AM
5

Equal housework would indeed not be traditional since they’re both working full time. Those women I mentioned seeking a traditional relationship would still be doing the majority of housework as a SAHM.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 02:37 AM
10

Yet, men want relationships, and they want TRADITIONAL relationships. Then wonder why women are not interested. As a guy who isn’t looking for a traditional relationship, you severely underestimate how many women are looking for a traditional relationship, even in Gen Z.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 12:39 AM
1

Not necessarily but we’re also not actively involved. Yeah I’d say less actively pursuing and more taking things casually and letting things happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 06:08 AM
6

Flirt early and often then ask them out on a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 11:29 PM
1

Definitely, but they’re usually a few leagues down compared to who you’d typically get meeting organically.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 04:43 AM
1

You’re welcome :)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 04:25 AM
2

Pew Research: 51% of men and 32% of women ages 18-29 in the US are single
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 12:50 AM
1

Scroll down any random girls instagram. 2013 it was coffee, food, dogs, beaches, friends. Now it’s mostly pictures of them. Interesting, I always noticed this on all my friends’ Instas and always just attributed it to growing up from early teens to late teens… oh shit that’s my Insta too…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 12:34 AM
2

It’s somewhat true but based on age, where something like 50% of women and 35% of men under 30 are in relationships due to age preferences. I think it makes sense seeing most incel types online are early 20s or so.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 12:21 AM
3

This 2016 Pew Research analysis (#6) shows women work less hours in a job (~25/week vs ~43/week for men) but make up those hours with more housework/childcare and the total hours worked for men and women match up fairly close with slightly more total hours on the fathers’ side.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 11:33 PM
1

No, that view is unheard of in my circles but I’m in my 20s and most of my female friends bring in as much bank as the guys. Personally I’d prefer a more equal split of work and household/child-care. I think there’s a lot of “grass is greener” on both sides going on. This 2016 Pew Research analysis (#6) shows women work less hours (~25/week) in a job (vs ~43/week for men) but make up those hours with more housework/childcare and the total hours worked for men and women match up fairly close with…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 02:12 PM
25

I’m one of those guys that needs to transition from theory junkie to approaching. That’s my big sticking point. Get out of the house, and approach. Haha aren’t we all.
/r/seduction07/12/22 03:53 PM
105

Excellent first post to break the silence. A relaxed smile is definitely the key between coming across as friendly vs creepy. For eye contact, I found it helpful to start practicing maintaining eye contact first with family, then friends, then finally dates. Don’t be the first to break eye contact at the start but naturally shift between the eyes and off to the side every now and then.
/r/seduction07/12/22 04:58 AM
4

No one should lower their standards at all, ever. I agree but if someone isn’t finding success in getting a partner that meets their standards, they need to self-reflect and bring themselves up to the standards of who they’re looking for. Another reminder that what men are attracted to isn’t exactly the same as what women are attracted to. People tend to make the incorrect assumption that what they’re attracted to is also what their dating pool is attracted to, and that since they meet their own…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 12:21 AM
1

That one in particular sounds like a Dependapotamus.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 06:51 PM
1

I don’t; never have
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 01:10 AM
1

https://reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/569eho/why_feminist_dating_advice_sucks/
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 12:52 AM
2

Dating is very much like sales, or applying for a job.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 12:51 AM
51

Yeah I think it’s because women tend to have more struggles within an established relationship, while for men the early dating stages are usually more difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 12:49 AM
1

Well if the person giving the advice is who you’re trying to date, definitely listen to them lol. That’s usually not the case though and they’re just going to tell you what they personally like.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 12:46 AM
8

Demographics.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 12:43 AM
5

Wouldn’t that mean they aren’t at the level they think they are or they’re not also already in a relationship? I said this a few weeks back and I’ll say it again: I think many of the women on Reddit like to blame their lack of success dating on the quality of men as an excuse to avoid looking inward and working on themselves, similar to how incels blame their lack of success on women’s standards or whatever pill ideology they’re into. Most mentally stable women I know IRL have no trouble finding…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 01:50 PM
4

The only issue with that is its only an option for those who are 100% committed to being child free for the rest of their life, or already has kids and won’t want any more.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 12:12 AM
10

Yeah for guys being scrawny skinny and not tall is only slightly better than being obese.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 08:54 PM
2

Might be a generational thing. I’m a Zillenial and that perspective is extremely rare outside of maybe conservative circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 03:21 AM
1

Ehh I don’t see any problem with it but I do think mods should refrain from taking action on any conversations they are directly participating/replying to and just report it to another mod to avoid a conflict of interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 02:55 AM
2

This was beautiful.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 02:44 AM
1

Models is a must read for anyone dating. I gladly shill it for free.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/22 04:49 AM
2

I became a confident self-aware and happy feminine man basically. Wrong type of confidence. It is non-needy which is important too, but the type of confidence that is attractive is the assertive masculine kind which is probably why you weren’t finding it beneficial.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/22 04:44 AM
1

Read Mark Manson’s Models, and check out r/Gainit.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 05:24 PM
2

It’s true. In South Korea if you’re not super tall and don’t look like a kpop star you’re gonna have a rough time, and there’s plenty of guys in their 20s that fit that bill.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 03:21 AM
1

I don’t really have anything to go to therapy for. Meds solved all my problems years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/22 04:55 AM
4

True, but what separates a woman between relationship material and casual material heavily involves personality and mental/emotional stability.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 06:33 PM
2

Women know when they see “it”, they just aren’t always able to put “it” into words.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 05:30 AM
1

I agree, the analogy sucks. Don’t ask a customer how to sell cars, ask the successful car salesman. If you asked Reddit what kind of car they’d want they’ll tell you a manual wagon with minimal electronics and hand crank windows.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 01:09 AM
3

I mean technically but they really drill it into you that it should be treated as permanent sterilization and not to go through with it if there’s any possibility of wanting kids later in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/22 08:37 PM
13

Being nice is platonically attractive and just a minimum to be a good person, but it isn’t sexually attractive in itself. Confidence and assertive are sexually attractive but nice guys tend to lack those things. The guys who are nice, confident, and attractive get locked down quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/22 05:19 PM
1

No because it’s still a net disadvantage to be a woman in many areas of life except for dating. Periods, pregnancy, gynecology, and even just not being able to pee anywhere is already enough to make me say nah, on top of all the societal shit. If I swapped but stayed the same race I’d definitely be doing way better in dating though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/22 06:47 PM
2

I find all types of women are into bad boys, but the emotionally secure women keep it casual and don’t let it progress too far.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/22 06:33 PM
7

Right, I’m guessing you’re fairy introverted and don’t like going to crowded parties or environments like that like most other Redditors. Plenty of people actually enjoy striking up conversations with strangers.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/22 02:45 AM
6

I’m talking about passing by at the grocery store during broad daylight, not persistence after rejection or crap like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/22 02:25 AM
9

There was actually a big thread on datingoverthirty asking where to meet single women and the top comment said “Target” with many agreeing comments from other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/22 02:24 AM
13

It’s nuts. I’m not Indian but every time there’s a dating thread about some Indian guy the thread always fills up with a ton of racist comments mostly from women that would get them permabanned if you subbed in “Black” for “Indian”.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/22 02:15 AM
4

I find it super rare to meet a girl I really click with. Also most women my age (early-mid 20) still like to keep it casual if they weren’t already in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 06:11 AM
5

I’m a guy that can get hookups but not a relationship. Where does that put me?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 05:25 AM
-1

It’s still seen as deceptive when guys wear lifts though, as seen in every thread where a guy asks if he should/can wear them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 05:07 AM
4

Because it’s extremely rare to meet up with someone from a dating app that you click with enough to try a second date with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 12:23 AM
1

It would be a huge plus but I also find it rare to date a girl with shared interests. Shared values is a must though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 01:51 PM
2

Looks isn’t the X factor, it’s emotions. Women fall in love from how a man makes her feel and these guys are exciting and usually confident. There is no logic in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 12:14 AM
2

I’ve had a fair number of ONS from HS-College that I barely gained any experience from. Each person is different but first times are awkward and you don’t really get a chance to learn each other’s bodies until a couple more times. I’d say relationships/fwbs with a few different people gives far more experience than hookups with many different people.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 06:19 PM
27

Exactly, it’s the lack of social proof/pre-selection. It raises the question of “what’s wrong with this guy that no other women wanted him?”.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 06:14 PM
3

So then just snooze your profile? It’s such a trivial problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 04:25 AM
5

24 hours to send a single message, not 5 minutes and doesn’t even have to be more than a “hey”. That just sounds like laziness.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 03:52 AM
1

Just read Models by Mark Manson. It pretty much covers all of the good advice and has none of the bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 01:06 AM
11

Yeah this is where Reddit majority opinion differs greatly from the IRL majority opinion. Asking for consent won’t necessarily be a turn off (though it commonly is), but most women definitely prefer a guy to read the room and go for it. Consent doesn’t have to be verbal. Most socially calibrated people just get consent non-verbally via body language cues and signals.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/22 02:38 PM
–

That women are the customers and men are the salesmen. FTFY.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/22 08:40 AM
–

I think many of the women on Reddit like to blame their lack of success dating on the quality of men as an excuse to avoid looking inward and working on themselves, similar to how incels blame their lack of success on women’s standards or whatever pill ideology they’re into. Most mentally stable women I know IRL have no trouble finding quality men, it’s mostly an issue with compatibility. This is mostly the same case with me and my male friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/22 08:37 AM
1

I only ever hear these things on Reddit. Reddit is not representative of the average person and in most dating/relationship subs it’s even worse, with a few exceptions like the Hinge sub. The women on this site tend to have an above average amount of trauma and like to move super slow, while that’s rare for my many female friends or dates throughout my life. They also never had trouble dating or finding decent guys if they were stable both mentally and in lifestyle, same for my male friends. I t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 05:58 PM
1

Why would you be ashamed of someone whose only association with you is their gender? Literally half the population.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 03:00 AM
0

You still have to make yourself approachable and create openings (what the whole “drop your handkerchief” was). Making sure you don’t have a RBF, making repeated eye contact with guys and smiling at them, getting close to them and asking them a random question, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 02:21 AM
3

Lmao no father is saying that. It’s usually stuff like be a gentleman, open the door for her, don’t be afraid to shoot your shot but if she rejects you don’t take it too personally, be respectful, and move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 05:24 PM
5

On Tinder yeah. Hinge and to a lesser degree Bumble are where the serious-minded people are.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 05:53 AM
11

They’ve had that choice for the past several decades. The issues being discussed really only became prominent the most recent decade. Also I just don’t see a significant number of women who are actually choosing to be single due to a lack of guys that aren’t shitty. The vast majority of my female friends are either already in a serious relationship or prefer casual and use the apps to find fwbs. I can only think of less than a handful that have trouble finding a boyfriend and they have major iss…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 05:51 AM
1

More women my age on the apps are looking for casual than those looking for serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 05:40 AM
6

I’m sure there are certain demographics of men where they’re extremely popular, but none that I’m aware of. Hell even on Reddit the Kardashians are always the top answers in threads on AskMen/AskReddit about which celebrities they don’t find attractive/get the hype about. The top answers for who they think are the most attractive celebrities are usually along the lines of Ana de Armas/Elizabeth Olsen, or previously Emma Watson/Natalie Portman.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 03:56 AM
1

But none of those give you the tingles.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 10:31 PM
1

Mine is that I can’t think of one, maybe it’s a blind spot idk. I used to be more anxious but am more secure in my attachment now, and I can be a little boring lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 02:54 PM
2

If he’s naive/inexperienced and think she’s enjoying it
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 07:19 AM
7

If he’s naive/inexperienced and think she’s enjoying it, how’s he supposed to know if she doesn’t say anything?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 05:47 AM
16

It’s all about the delivery. The ideal thing to do is avoid the topic and I find it pretty rare for a woman to directly ask, but if she does ask then don’t lie but play it really casual. Tbh hard to give a good example off the top of my head but in my case I’ve had a bunch of hookups and dates but no serious relationships, so I’d say “Oh nothing super serious, I just haven’t met the right person yet” or “it’s super rare to find a girl I really click with”, which is true and would mean she’s real…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 03:56 AM
-1

Yeah a lower like limit definitely helps, but it’s the prisoner’s dilemma problem as there’s no incentive to do otherwise. I carefully review every profile before swiping but I understand why others don’t. Women should stop matching new people once they have enough conversations going as they can handle too. A max on concurrent matches would probably help.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 11:40 PM
1

I think it would be best if paired with a max # of concurrent matches. Say if you have 5 conversations, need to unmatch one to match a new one.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 11:37 PM
1

Read Models by Mark Manson.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 09:35 PM
2

Ehh generic questions like that usually get no response, at least for me. I have to say hey back then follow up with a question or joke/banter about something in their profile to get a response.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 08:54 PM
5

What most do is open with “Hey” or a gif then expect the guy to take over leading the conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 05:40 PM
1

25
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 04:57 PM
4

Around my age there are more women looking for casual on the apps than serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 03:33 PM
4

There was a study that did show a positive correlation between BMI and average # of sexual partners of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 08:35 PM
10

Yep, I started doing way better once I mustered up the courage to touch. It does require good social calibration and non-verbal communication skills though. I don’t talk about sex until the bedroom but that’s just my personal preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/22 03:22 PM
3

True but most of it is still within control of the man. If a woman got really screwed by genetics, even a fit body won’t make up for it and plastic surgery can only do so much while still looking natural (I’ve never been able to notice a rhinoplasty though).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 07:28 PM
1

Then you may not have enough free time since it’s usually a big time commitment. If one of your current groups has the social aspect (brotherhood, parties, etc) then you aren’t missing out on a whole lot except maybe formals/weekend trips/socials w/sororities.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 12:22 AM
2

Depends greatly on your own personal experience when you get into it. For me it was the best decision I made in college. Rush as many places as you can and focus on where you click with/befriend the brothers the most. Sports teams/clubs can provide a similar brotherhood experience too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 12:17 AM
6

I find you very attractive, but I’m only looking for physically intimate interactions with you. Sorry but this is absolutely terrible and sounds so socially awkward no matter how seductively you deliver it. It would honestly be better to invite a girl up to check out your YuGiOh card collection over a bottle of wine because at least that way if you deliver it well the implication and the fact that it’s a joke is obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 11:50 PM
12

Whoever forms the strongest emotional connection and “tingles”, at the right place and time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 11:39 PM
2

Besides experience, it’s important to get a win or two for one’s own self-esteem and confidence going forward. The actual sex part of losing your virginity is not that significant since it’s usually very underwhelming, it’s knowing that you’ve been able to do it and can do it again.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 11:31 PM
9

See you get it. Assholes aren’t attractive because they’re assholes, they just happen to be very assertive and don’t give a fuck. The good assertive guys are usually taken.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 07:49 PM
13

For something serious they do. It’s just that there’s not much overlap in the traits that make someone a good person and the traits that make someone attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 07:40 PM
1

Meh, just treat them the same as women of any other attractiveness. Thing is, attractive women have attractive friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 07:35 PM
2

https://reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/569eho/why_feminist_dating_advice_sucks/
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 07:26 PM
-1

The Fetishization of Men’s Vulnerability
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 09:31 PM
14

I’ve actually had more success dating almost every race besides other Asian women lol.
/r/seduction01/11/22 03:37 AM
3

On the other hand, being too skinny is unattractive for a man, while not being unattractive for a woman unless extremely underweight.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 01:10 AM
6

https://reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/om37a9/is_crying_a_turnoff_for_most_women/ https://reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/py5l68/can_we_discuss_the_whole_your_partner_is_not_your/ https://reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/m4asi0/i_think_it_is_beautiful_when_men_cry/ https://reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/mhmwgy/the_fetishization_of_mens_vulnerability/ https://reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/v3d4sz/men_of_reddit_what_are_some_reasons_why_showing/
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 10:33 PM
5

I see multiple posts about this every week on r/AskMen. r/MensLib has also discussed this many times and the comments are usually the same stories.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 07:59 PM
3

The issue is who are those sensible figures? I can’t name any off the top of my head.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 06:08 PM
2

Probably involves a lack of willingness to directly communicate what they want and don’t want in bed, if they even know what they want or how to get themselves off. There are shitty dudes out there for sure but if you’ve gone through a bunch of guy and haven’t found a single decent fwb then something’s going wrong. My female friends that are hooking up eventually find several reliable guys to set up regular dick appointments with.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 04:31 PM
4

Well making sure she’s comfortable and doesn’t feel pressured is paramount. Open communication both ways is key, so you have to know how slow she wants to go and check in with her if she seems uncomfortable, and she has to be willing to communicate her boundaries and let you know when she’s open to escalating things. Normally asking for consent can be a turn-off but I think an exception can be made here. How slow you’re willing to go is up to you so if you feel like it’s not going anywhere it’s …
/r/seduction26/10/22 02:27 AM
6

This is plain old dating. OP isn’t saying you have to have sex on the first date, just to keep escalating at a pace she’s comfortable with. On average, couples have sex on the third date.
/r/seduction26/10/22 02:05 AM
10

Who said anything about having sex after a single conversation? First date or two you get to know each other and start getting closer, doesn’t have to be more than a kiss. 3+ dates in you should either have a good connection or not and by then you can take it to that next level if you’re feeling it.
/r/seduction26/10/22 01:59 AM
1

I operate on a don’t ask don’t tell policy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 12:23 AM
5

Valid, but very irregular. Most people are touching and kissing on the first or second date.
/r/seduction24/10/22 04:33 PM
8

If you wait for a signal as direct as that you’re always going to be waiting. Escalation is a dance. You flirt a little, she flirts back. You do light touches to her arm/hands/back, she doesn’t pull away and touches back. The whole time you’re gauging body language too.
/r/seduction24/10/22 04:28 PM
1

It was pretty long but talked about higher risk of cheating, STDs, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 06:05 PM
1

These are more or less the same points made when guys explain why they don’t want to date women with many sexual partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 12:49 PM
23

The survey. Article summarizing the survey. Women see bisexual men as both less romantically attractive AND less sexually attractive. Also just search “bisexual men” on Reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 11:56 PM
2

Article summarizing the survey. The survey. Women see bisexual men as both less romantically attractive AND less sexually attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 11:50 PM
9

Search “bisexual men” on Reddit and you’ll find dozens of discussions on this and how even some bisexual women won’t date bisexual men. First post that comes up in the Bisexual sub with >1K upvotes. That tracks with the below survey. The magazine's researchers polled more than 1,000 women, between the ages of 18 to 44, about their own sexual identities and experiences for the survey, which was released Feb. 11. While 63 percent of those surveyed said they'd opt out of traditional labels like "ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 11:48 PM
1

Well that would make you an awesome exception, but simply search “bisexual men” on Reddit and you’ll find many posts discussing this and how even some bisexual women won’t date bisexual men. That tracks with the below survey. The magazine's researchers polled more than 1,000 women, between the ages of 18 to 44, about their own sexual identities and experiences for the survey, which was released Feb. 11. While 63 percent of those surveyed said they'd opt out of traditional labels like "homosexual…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 11:44 PM
2

What does that have to do with womens’ dating preferences? Wouldn’t womens’ repulsion to dating bisexual men make them homophobic?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 11:26 PM
-3

No, this is in the context of a monogamous relationship. You’re deflecting because you know my previous statement is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 11:23 PM
1

You’re missing OP’s point which is the vast majority of cishet women see bisexual men or men who have ever done anything sexual with another man as a turn off/repulsive as romantic partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 11:18 PM
-1

How men see lesbian/bi girls is irrelevant to how women see non-heterosexual men as romantic interests. The point OP is making is that the vast majority of cishet women see bisexual men or men who have ever done anything sexual with another man as a turn off/repulsive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 11:08 PM
3

My go to is playful teasing and competition. Here’s an in-depth intro to flirting.
/r/seduction22/10/22 01:50 PM
0

I actually heard this once. Girl said she doubles up on BC but goes raw only on the pill with the more attractive guys because worst case at least the baby will be cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 11:10 PM
2

Hmm, well going all the way on the first date isn’t my style. Maybe it would be better to build tension and tease on the first date but not go for the kiss?
/r/seduction21/10/22 07:15 PM
20

No sending a follow up is pointless and just makes you seem even needier. I’ve had girls ask to kiss me first or mention they wanted to see me again that still ghost or slow fade. Unfortunately it’s normal especially on dating apps. Just gotta move on.
/r/seduction21/10/22 07:09 PM
1

I’m a guy and I had a hoe phase. If it doesn’t apply to you, why be offended? Isn’t that basically NotAllMen/Women?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 12:37 PM
3

Wait, here it’s the women playing games by offering to split but holding it against him if he accepts.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 09:03 PM
1

But how are guys supposed to know if you’re not just being polite and won’t hold it against him? Personally I just say “nah it’s fine I got it” if she offers but would see it as a green flag if she insists. If she goes for the bill before me or says separate checks I would see that as genuine and wouldn’t contest that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 08:57 PM
2

So if he does cover it financially, you’re willing to do the bulk of emotional labor in the relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 08:44 PM
1

When would it be pushy for you? Common advice is decline when she offers the first time (in case she’s just being polite), but accept if she insists a second time.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 08:42 PM
1

Would it be negative if he accepted the offer though?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 08:40 PM
1

Might be a generational shift but when I was in college several years ago there were super attractive women in all fields including STEM. I have a friend who graduated Summa Cum Laude with a double major in Biology and Neuroscience in the honors program who does runway modeling on the side and is in law school now. The school was like 56% women though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 08:06 PM
4

https://reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4seyc9/never_run_out_of_things_to_say_to_womenkeep_the/ I had it saved and the text looked familiar.
/r/seduction18/10/22 01:00 PM
9

Repost of a 6-year old post by u/aswjacob but upvoted nonetheless.
/r/seduction18/10/22 12:48 PM
1

I don’t think men have to abide by traditional roles like being the main breadwinner as much these days, but women are still largely attracted to masculine traits, both physical and emotional (like assertiveness and willing to take the lead). That’s a part of attraction that’s more primal and I don’t see that changing anytime soon, if ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 09:46 PM
1

That’s just called getting rejected.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 11:05 PM
1

They’ll drop hella hints and get touchy. Few will go further than that even if they’re really into you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 11:04 PM
1

I typically don’t have issues dating outside my race when meeting IRL, but I think with how OLD is people quickly filter people out by race. It’s up there with height and weight as one of the first things you see on a profile when you’re taking a few seconds to swipe left or right. 90% of the women I’ve gone out with from Hinge and Bumble and most of my matches has some interest in Asian culture, usually kpop. Maybe 10-20% of the girls I’ve gone out with from IRL were in comparison. Also for som…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 08:25 PM
6

That’s not really a move. A move shows clear intentions and doesn’t leave room for plausible deniability.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 04:40 PM
3

No it’s all about how you make them feel. Make them feel safe/comfortable (physically and emotionally) AND make them feel excitement and suspense.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 12:59 AM
1

Is that the type of guy you want though? Seems like you should keep doing so and these guys will filter themselves out.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 12:47 AM
0

They’re too far leftist for my taste and is a self-professed feminist sub, so take that for what you will, but it’s one of very few men’s spaces on Reddit where men’s issues can be discussed without becoming toxic or overrun by incels or extremist women. They also make a LOT of great points, including how progressives hypocritically perpetuate things like toxic masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 04:03 AM
4

There’s more to physical attractiveness for women that photos can’t convey as well as it does to men. Things like body language and how a guy carries himself, voice, smell, posture, and even the smallest mannerisms can trigger an ick.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/22 07:37 PM
6

Pretty much this, at least for my single female friends. Already meeting plenty of guys socially and many are single by choice with or without a FWB (sometimes from the apps). I can only think of one or two that have been on them for a while and they just have a harder time with dating in-person alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/22 07:32 PM
3

You’ll like r/MensLib. This has been discussed there several times already.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/22 07:23 PM
6

Haven’t seen it and don’t really care. As always with PUAs, take everything with a grain of salt and never pay for shit.
/r/seduction14/10/22 04:37 AM
5

Todd V on YouTube is great.
/r/seduction14/10/22 01:03 AM
10

This might depend more on age and setting, but from what I’ve seen (early 20s on Tinder) they want you to come over ASAP and just do it. Waste too much time and it’s just onto the next.
/r/seduction14/10/22 12:09 AM
7

Yeah the pics women take are generally high quality but somewhat generic (Instagram types, usually with alcohol). Now the prompts/bios are extremely generic and often copied from some TikTok trend. Useless info like “I’m looking for a good communicator” or “tacos and margs”. My biggest pet peeve is anything that comes off as entitled or narcissistic: “Impress me” “Make me laugh” “My love language: dinner reservations” “Green flags I look for: obsessed with me/worships me”
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 02:11 AM
2

Damn I have found my people. This explains why I’ve been able to date and hookup but not get into a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 04:59 PM
2

Not necessarily selecting for it, but enforcing it in general. Things like encouraging partners to open up, then reacting negatively when they do, losing attraction, or using it as ammunition against them in an argument. Expecting guys to pay for dates, thinking he’s gay if he turns down sex, insulting a guy with small dick jokes, or looking down on bisexual men. I’ve seen very progressive women still do many of these.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/22 07:30 PM
9

The average is 3 dates, and I’d say the vast majority would within 6 dates. If there were issues by then I’d probably ask if she was comfortable and if something was wrong, like past trauma or something. If communication isn’t conducive to a solution or if I’m getting the run around for more than a month or two I’d probably just move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 09:06 PM
3

Define it then.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 02:28 PM
1

Your source says the study was stopped by the researchers despite 75% of the men wanting to continue it. It was stopped due to safety/ethical concerns including possible permanent infertility, and ethical standards have changed dramatically since the 50s.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:35 AM
2

That’s a myth. The guys wanted to continue the trial but it was stopped due to safety/ethical concerns.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:29 AM
5

Yeah I’ve seen several on the dating subs. Stuff like “I’m liberal, but why am I always attracted to conservative men?”. I think it’s because the masculine liberal guys are rare thus in high demand.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 11:52 PM
12

We don’t really want a man to lead either. I almost exclusively date liberal women and the overwhelming majority of them do. I’d say all except one or two I can remember. Things like setting up dates, on the dates, and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 11:50 PM
12

Yeah I think women could use some more self-reflection on how they or other women around them perpetuate toxic masculinity. Things like encouraging partners to open up, then reacting negatively when they do, losing attraction, or using it as ammunition against them in an argument. Expecting guys to pay for dates, thinking he’s gay if he turns down sex, insulting a guy with small dick jokes, or looking down on bisexual men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 04:48 PM
10

I don’t think these are gonna get through to her but they’re good examples.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 03:26 AM
2

Yes, but it’s also more subconscious. Like a guy with feminine mannerisms or a woman acting masculine. Maybe a guy crying or a woman with a cackling laugh.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 03:24 AM
3

Have to disagree with that second part. Literally every coupled up Asian woman I know is with a white guy. On the other hand, almost every Asian man I know is with a white (or Latina) girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 02:37 AM
2

Yeah non-verbal consent is how the vast majority of people do it pretty much everywhere. Reddit is far from a representative sample of the average person.
/r/seduction03/10/22 11:48 PM
6

Reddit is so weird about this. Last week in OffMyChest I said most people would find it strange to be asked for consent more than once during sex (OP with his wife). 364 downvotes and removed by a mod lmao.
/r/seduction03/10/22 11:19 PM
-1

I would consider some interest a “maybe”.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 04:07 AM
0

Speaking in terms of which one is a more common occurrence than the other, he’s definitely correct. I would say the same is true of guys though, just to a slightly lesser degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 02:39 AM
7

Not all are going to be interested AND excited from the get go. Many women will be a “maybe”, interested but not yet sold on you. The goal here is to make a move (e.g. flirting or setting up a date) somewhat quickly to find out if she’s moving more towards a yes or towards a no. Doing nothing will inevitability lead a girl on the fence towards a “no”, aka the friend-zone.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 02:33 AM
1

So then registering wouldn’t be an issue right? Mostly symbolic but a good faith gestures of wanting true equality. Of course abolishing the draft altogether would be best but that’s not realistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 05:33 AM
5

I will say, I have never hooked up so easily as I have when on benzos. It also fucked with my life so definitely not worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 12:37 AM
1

That matters more for serious relationships. When it’s just casual/hookups there’s not as many emotions at play.
/r/seduction29/09/22 12:47 PM
3

What if you’re 25 and have never been in a relationship, but lost it at the typical age and hooked up a fair amount?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 11:44 PM
3

Good or bad yes. Lower maintenance and more committal is what he means.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 12:36 PM
3

Are they in college? Cuz that’s where they’ll be.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 12:24 PM
16

https://reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hlmra/dicarlo_escalation_ladder_concise_and_emphasized/
/r/seduction27/09/22 12:21 PM
18

Really it’s just Promiscuous girl You're teasing me You know what I want And I got what you need
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 12:19 PM
2

Dude you look perfectly fine. I do think you’d look even better with contacts but it’s not what’s holding you back.
/r/seduction26/09/22 12:35 PM
2

I have a pretty good Insta but it’s on private and I haven’t posted on it in a few years. Should I take it off private?
/r/seduction24/09/22 09:11 PM
8

I’d say over 3/4 of the profiles I see have “don’t know yet”. The rest are pretty evenly split between relationship and casual. This is ~21-26.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 09:00 PM
0

I mean yeah, but guys also frequently deal with that same issue after the early dating stage.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 04:34 PM
5

I mean everyone is attracted to people who are in shape. Yes but for girls a skinnier/lean build is generally more attractive than a strong/built look. For guys being skinny without muscle definition is almost as bad as being overweight. Aren’t men attracted to confident women? Kind of but it doesn’t matter nearly as much as it does the other way around. Too dominant comes off as masculine and that is unattractive.
/r/seduction23/09/22 02:56 AM
7

Lol why do you think women are attracted to strength, height, and confidence?
/r/seduction23/09/22 01:50 AM
28

There’s many dating skills that have to be learned and aren’t just taught in school. Some examples; how to flirt, how to be attractive, how to lead the early stages of dating, and how to escalate. This is what this sub is for.
/r/seduction23/09/22 01:46 AM
37

It’s also important to tamper expectations to protect your own feelings. This is especially true with online dating where even if things went great, there’s so many options that great might not be enough. I’ve had many dates that were fun, had emotional connection and intimacy, and even where the girls made moves on me first end up in ghosting or “no spark”. In fact, everyone has/will experience this at least once if not many times.
/r/seduction21/09/22 04:15 PM
20

Err, no, it’s also from moms and girlfriends. Women enforce toxic masculinity just as much as men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 12:55 PM
3

There is at least a niche for tall lanky dudes. I’m 5’7 so my niche died out after college haha. Check out r/Gainit.
/r/seduction13/09/22 09:55 PM
1

If there’s chemistry, almost always yay.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 04:09 AM
2

Forreal I was permabanned from rDating just for commenting in this sub. No chance to appeal even if I never participated in here again.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 10:28 PM
2

Yeah I (25M) pretty much share the same stance with every single point you made.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 10:26 PM
3

One quality match =/= lifelong marriage. Out of hundreds of matches across the main apps I’ve only had 9 dates from Hinge and 2 from Bumble. My highest match rate and match to date rate are on Hinge, hence why I almost exclusively use it now. Many will go on dozens of dates before finding someone to delete the apps with, and even then relationships end and where are they gonna go back to? The app that worked the best for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 10:16 PM
2

Toxic masculinity is perpetrated by men, but mostly enforced by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 10:10 PM
4

Damn, spoken like a true Stacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 12:39 AM
2

Personally I’ve had far more success with women of pretty much every other race than my own and South Asian women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 12:35 AM
26

How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a classic for conversational skills (free on Libby via my library for me). Models by Mark Manson has a good chapter or two on conversations and emotionally connecting.
/r/seduction10/09/22 05:47 PM
2

Same. From my experience as long as you’re taller than her it doesn’t matter, but I’ve yet to successfully get with a taller girl. Height matters much more on OLD though. I pretty much never match with taller girls and it’s an easy way to quickly filter down a huge stack of incoming likes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 05:37 PM
5

Also: Models by Mark Manson
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 05:26 PM
2

Yeah most women are attracted to masculinity, but not necessarily toxic masculinity. Like 90% of the traits you described are just regular masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 01:17 PM
2

I’ve gone through this exact same thing a few times too. Even had one girl ask to kiss me first yet still faded out when I texted her the next day. These are also from the apps so the sheer amount of competition might have something to do with it.
/r/seduction08/09/22 03:25 AM
2

Wait by sexual tension do you mean just flirting or touching too? Surely you’re getting somewhat physical while out on the date.
/r/seduction08/09/22 03:22 AM
3

Yeah but anyone can get the Platinum. It’s a $695 annual fee.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 04:55 PM
1

I’ve always preferred a relationship but never had one. Hooked up a bunch of high school and college and it was ok I guess.
/r/seduction05/09/22 12:12 AM
23

I would advise against the race question. It’ll set off fetishizing red flags.
/r/seduction04/09/22 05:34 PM
1

Being too skinny as a guy also stops working after like 25. It’s so much harder to get with girls larger than me now.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 11:30 PM
16

Kinda on the right path, but I’ll add: It’s because being nice is not sexually attractive, but rather platonically/generally attractive. In fact, being too nice is sexually repulsive. It’s not necessarily that being an asshole is sexually attractive, just that those guys tend to also have sexually attractive traits like confidence, assertiveness, not giving a fuck, and never prioritizing their girl over themselves. The guys who are nice but confident, assertive, and flirty do the best out of eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 02:16 PM
5

Solid post. To add to why girls are attracted to assholes and not nice guys: It’s because being nice is not sexually attractive, but rather platonically/generally attractive. In fact, being too nice is sexually repulsive. It’s not necessarily that being an asshole is sexually attractive, just that those guys tend to also have sexually attractive traits like confidence, assertiveness, not giving a fuck, and never prioritizing their girl over themselves. Many times women will be turned on when the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 03:01 AM
8

Models by Mark Manson is the one book I’d recommend. No amount of reading will replace going out and socializing though.
/r/seduction31/08/22 01:00 PM
23

Clout. I’ve never heard of most of these women before now.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 12:51 PM
2

Haha nah but maybe I should try it. I’m more Steven Yuen/Godfrey Gao (minus the facial hair) than Jungkook. I can do it but yeah it’s a bitch fighting against my appetite when trying to maintain a caloric surplus for more than a few weeks.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 02:04 AM
3

Kinda. I’m a super skinny 5’7 Asian dude and hooked up a fair bit in high school and college but 25 now and it seems like that niche disappears after the early 20s. I can get some matches and dates, flirt well, and escalate (still hard for me but I usually at least go for the kiss), but I’m just not having the success I used to. I really think my size is the one thing left that’s holding me back.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 01:24 AM
1

Being non-needy, outcome-independent, and bold/assertive/confident. Everyone should read Models by Mark Manson at least once.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 01:48 PM
2

Lemme one-up you. Abortion should be legal after birth too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:43 AM
2

Asking usually isn’t going to make a girl who was down to kiss change their mind, but most (I’d guess 80%) would certainly prefer the guy read the room and go for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 07:59 PM
5

Big difference between 2nd category and being straight up feminine though (not talking like Timothee Chalamet). It’s extremely rare for heterosexual women to be into feminine guys outside of teenagers and the LGBT community.
/r/seduction28/08/22 02:47 AM
1

So the full title is “Models: Attract Women Through Honesty” and the author’s more well-known for his book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” which has similar undertones. It explains how attracting women is an emotional process and not a physical/logical/social process, so doing A B C won’t result in X Y Z or any of that PUA shit. How not to change who you are but your mindset and how to express your authentic self to others unapologetically while being detached from the outcome (non-needine…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 03:01 PM
2

Thanks, yeah I have to remind myself I still have it better off than many who aren’t as fortunate. Only advice I’d give is to read Models by Mark Manson. That was a game changer for dating for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 12:03 PM
3

Models is the one must read book on dating IMO. Wouldn’t say it’s RP at all. 3% Man by Corey Wayne is solid too.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 01:19 AM
1

Would you include the opposite, super skinny too?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 02:42 AM
3

25M here and never had a GF (always wanted something serious). Had 2 hookups in HS and 5 in college. Post college has been so much worse despite going to a concert almost every weekend (mostly solo but like 20% of the time with a big group of male & female friends). Had 10 dates off Hinge in 2021 but nothing since February despite a few matches every week. Mentally stable, employed, and have my shit together otherwise. Idk what it is, just bad luck or what. The big thing left is putting on some …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 01:39 AM
3

Sometimes they’re shooting out of their league but these incels always jump to that conclusion without knowing the girl or who she’s dating. What I think is more likely is that they’re shooting within their league but have other issues or traits that keep them from being relationship material and thus relegated to the only casual stack. Things like emotional/mental instability, stuck in an always partying lifestyle, no career or goals in life, or just an unpleasant personality. Even average dude…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 04:11 PM
1

Never stop dating your girl.
/r/seduction22/08/22 11:49 PM
3

23andMe is even cheaper. Like $99 for just ancestry and $200 with health, but might have to get a 2nd kit for dad to match them up unless dad has a unique ethnicity he is sure of.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 06:54 PM
3

Only with my bros that give brojobs though, and the last one just moved away. Dude gave the best brojobs :(
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 12:58 PM
24

In a platonic context, you are incorrect for all the reasons stated in the other comments. I don’t talk differently to my female friends than to my male friends. In a romantic context, you are correct in that there’s additional things you would say to a woman you’re interested in that you wouldn’t with your bros, the main one being flirting.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 08:50 PM
2

Whole milk, PB&Js, hella olive oil in everything, r/Gainit
/r/seduction21/08/22 05:07 PM
2

Maybe it would help if you reframe it as non-neediness. You should read Models by Mark Manson, it’ll explain it to you much better.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 04:55 PM
8

Lifetime median is around 4 for women and 6 for men according to the CDC.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 08:22 AM
2

Tbh don’t care enough to risk my account for ban evasion.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/22 08:10 PM
13

Got permabanned from rDating with no warning for participating in this sub. I apologized, explained I don’t believe in any pill or incel stuff and just browse for the lulz, and asked if I could be unbanned if I stopped participating. They declined. Guess I’m stuck with you guys now…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/22 04:59 PM
1

Same. Don’t believe in any pill stuff and have a relatively normal social and dating life, but I just love discussing the topic of dating and damn is it entertaining.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/22 04:19 AM
4

“The Game” and “Models” are both books on seduction. One is far more ethical than the other.
/r/seduction20/08/22 03:52 AM
2

Surveys need to be done with polygraphs to be legitimate?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 09:47 PM
2

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n-keystat.htm
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 08:23 PM
2

I think they interpret that to the extreme, like being controlling/abusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 05:19 AM
3

When a guy calmly but firmly puts me in my place. Oh yeah that’s a common one.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 04:58 AM
7

Investment bankers work insane hours though, same with much of finance. Even I know many women won’t date investment bankers.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/22 12:59 PM
2

Oh yeah I live in a Black Mecca and that is on the dot. It’s been tough getting even average looking (attractive to me) but healthy weight Black women out on a date, but that’s because they’re already in the top ~10%.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/22 02:17 AM
2

Timothee Chalamet probably.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/22 02:10 AM
3

Can confirm. Hookups were easy up till about 2 years ago at 23, but college is a huge confounding variable there. Most of those girls are with more rugged looking dudes now though. Gains is the solution.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/22 02:10 AM
2

Tbf the link is easy to miss in the article. The additional graphs are pretty interesting. The desirability rank for black women is lower than those for all men. Ouch.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/22 01:58 AM
3

Those make for great friends, but isn’t enough for romantic relationships. Guys also need to know how to lead things in a romantic direction, flirt, be confident and assertive to a degree, and of course be physically attractive to an extent that’s reasonable to achieve themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/22 01:09 AM
4

That’s a must read for sure as a general social skills book. I would also suggest Models by Mark Manson as the one essential book on dating for guys, or everyone really.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/22 01:03 AM
3

But to succeed in dating if you try to deviate from the status quo too much you’ll fail. Even with the most progressive girls I’ve dated I as the guy still had to be the one to initiate and lead things. I’ve noticed a little bit of progress like approaching to chat and proposing date ideas/wanting to split on second dates, but it’s still pretty rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/22 12:58 AM
3

Ehh, most women won’t be attracted to a guy who weighs less than her, from my experience. So being too skinny (and not skinny+tall) is unattractive to women but not nearly as much to men. However, women may be more forgiving of extra weight than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 08:31 PM
1

There’s two types of nice guys. The “Nice Guy” that is what this post is about and more commonly referred to. Then there’s regular nice guys that are far more common and are also unattractive simply because they come off as doormats, not confident, and unassertive. Being nice is not sexually attractive, but rather platonically/generally attractive. In fact, being too nice is sexually repulsive. It’s not necessarily that being an asshole is sexually attractive, just that those guys tend to also h…
/r/seduction12/08/22 04:01 AM
1

I pick a bar close to other cool spots so if the date’s going well, I can say “hey there’s a brewery/park/bookstore/mini golf place we can check out” and going to multiple places makes a date feel like it’s more than just one plain date.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 08:59 PM
3

For average people it’s going to be charisma, charm, confidence, “game”.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 03:37 PM
15

No it’s when one is blackout drunk. Like slurring words, incoherent sentences, can’t stand straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 11:47 PM
3

Yeah women can support themselves but are still attracted to a man who CAN provide and are masculine. Even the most independent and high-ranking women still want a man that’s even stronger and more of a leader than she is. I think the decrease in traditionally masculine guys in the newer generations might have something to do with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 12:43 AM
7

Yeah even the most progressive of women will stop short of asking a guy out. Many will approach and drop hella hints though.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 12:34 AM
5

Women around the same age are in the same spot. At that age career/ambition/accomplishments don’t mean much but physical attractiveness and charisma/confidence really do.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 03:11 PM
1

The normal distribution scale is probably the most objective scale but in normal conversation I still use a more “normie” scale but 1-2 & 9-10 still being extremely rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 03:07 PM
1

Yeah that’s what I meant. I guess I got confused on the “for” wording, maybe should’ve wrote “to” men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 02:41 PM
2

Kino Damn, that’s a word I haven’t heard in a really long time.
/r/seduction05/08/22 10:21 PM
5

Looks matter more (edit: TO) men, BUT men’s standards for looks are usually lower and find a higher % of women attractive vs the other way around. Women are more picky/specific with what guys they find physically attractive, but as long as a certain threshold is met other attributes like charisma/status can make up for the rest.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 07:48 PM
5

Damn I bet he has Monster brand cables too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 01:55 AM
3

No that’s just flat out incorrect. You don’t flirt with just anyone, you flirt with romantic interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 09:38 PM
3

Not even RP, just basic game/shit tests. Agree and amplify or misinterpret with humor.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 11:07 PM
2

Haven’t got that far yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 04:06 PM
3

I usually do drinks at a nice bar for dates, but have done one casual dinner date and one at the Botanical Gardens. I pay for all and don’t really mind. I’ve had 3-4 offers to split and 1 thank you out of 9 first dates and 1 second date from Hinge.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 03:48 PM
27

Flirt more. Polarize. If there’s a vibe, ramp it up by getting physical, even on the first date. I think a lot of more shy guys run into the problem of being too safe and platonic.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 02:10 AM
9

I saw a quote: “Men are the main perpetrators of toxic masculinity and women are the main enforcers of toxic masculinity.” I think in dating at least that is usually true.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 09:14 PM
1

I see em at least once a week. There’s one of the top posts on TooAfraidToAsk right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 12:47 AM
4

That’s exactly how you’re supposed to do it. Idk why people assume cold approachers are just asking them out first sentence.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 10:05 PM
3

This is like the one guide to flirting I think even people with autism could follow. I also really recommend reading Models by Mark Manson. The Bible of dating IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 09:33 PM
1

I noticed that when I met a girl from Hinge who showed up her listed height but in heels. The women on Hinge in my area seem to average around 5’7-5’8 too… 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 09:20 PM
7

I do think most women’s requirement is at least taller than her. That’s a very hard set floor.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 09:15 PM
1

Probably the most common ick for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 12:48 AM
1

One common ick for some women is the whole “showing vulnerability” thing, like seeing a guy break down in tears. Like you know it’s wrong to feel that and he should be allowed to cry, but it might hurt the masculine part of attraction for a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 12:39 AM
1

It wouldn’t register if the guy was pretty skinny too?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 08:45 PM
10

I’m surprised how love bombing works for some guys. If I did this I’m pretty sure I would be seen as needy/coming on too strong.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 12:35 PM
1

True, but they are more likely to commit.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 12:34 PM
5

Yup, women fall in love via the emotions a man makes her feel. This is far easier with charisma/humor/behavior than with money and achievements.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 12:32 PM
1

Mark Manson in his book Models too.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 01:51 AM
1

I don’t care about flowers but I dig the effort for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 01:47 AM
5

You think those guys mass approaching don’t open with conversation?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 01:31 AM
4

5’7 Asian. Didn’t have much trouble hooking up in HS and college but I’m 25 now and it’s been a huge struggle. I can kinda get dates off Hinge but it never gets far. Kpop is pretty much the main reason Hinge works at all for me lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 09:34 PM
7

They aren’t fine with it, they just either don’t know or don’t want to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 09:23 PM
5

My dating demographic is early-20s liberal college educated women and I think I am seeing a slight rise in women initiating/being more forward, but it’s still very rare. Been asked out once (never happened), kissed first a few times, and got an offer to split 3/10 dates off Hinge. Men still have to show the willingness to lead/assertiveness, I think that’s still important for the more subconscious part of attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:40 PM
3

Damn, hats off to all the women in here.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:28 PM
1

Relationships, but I didn’t mind hooking up if it happens. This was mostly in college, rest in HS so maybe that was just the norm. Post-college has been worse as expected but I managed 9 first dates and 1 second date off Hinge summer 2021-this Feb. Still get some matches but it’s been harder to make it to the actual date. I go to a concert almost every weekend and have plenty of male and female friends. Honestly can’t attribute it to anything other than shitty luck finding someone I click with.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 07:34 PM
0

Check the women’s rating guide in the sidebar of r/TrueRateMe. Scroll to the bottom.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 06:29 PM
1

7 hookups, 0 relationship, 25M. I’m definitely an anomaly but I see posts from similar guys occasionally on other subs.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 06:06 PM
4

Then there’s me, have had casual sex but want a serious relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 05:17 PM
2

What would you have wanted them to do? Did you ask them to do something specific and they just refused?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 06:49 PM
5

Not necessarily treat better, but more likely to commit and take seriously. More attractive guys also get more leeway/chances with bad behavior, but yeah I’d say assholes are evenly distributed across all levels of attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 08:37 PM
1

This is it, and the ones that aren’t assholes are usually taken.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 09:28 PM
2

I will say the whole “must be 6ft” shit is way overblown, but the vast majority of women do have the requirement of “must be taller than me”. Of course, most guys also prefer a shorter woman but it’s not quite as strict or high on the priority list.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 09:19 PM
1

It’s the median. I wouldn’t mind waiting a couple of months if she let me know ahead of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 08:01 PM
4

Gardening
/r/seduction22/07/22 04:39 AM
0

Sure but guys would be willing to regardless of what people say if women found men with makeup attractive. Thing is the vast vast majority of heterosexual women find men wearing makeup unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 03:00 AM
0

If makeup suddenly made men more attractive to (attractive) women, I guarantee you men would be flooding their nearest Sephora.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 12:54 AM
7

I was about to say lol. I haven’t seen any of her other specials but the most recent one on Netflix was like 40% about her wanting to cheat on her (now ex)-husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 07:14 PM
1

Same reason there’s a low daily like limit on apps like Hinge, then unlimited matches could be a paid feature. Would probably only work on more serious intended apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 01:13 PM
1

Virtually all of them that are able to get that many. Few have the self-control to snooze their profile when it gets overwhelming.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 01:06 PM
4

Less competition from mass swipers.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 01:04 PM
8

How am I gonna hold people I’ve never even met accountable? If my friend were doing something like that I’d slap the shit outta them, but I’m not friends with anyone who does that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 10:18 PM
1

Definitely agree with all of this. I’m a skinny Asian dude that had enough hookups in high school and college but not much luck with anything serious. Getting shredded is really the last thing on my list. Reading Models by Mark Manson was a massive help.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 12:05 AM
2

Same with guys with cats vs dogs.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 11:51 PM
1

25M, Asian. 7 hookups all in HS-college. Maybe like double that for those that would be sexually interested? Never had anyone interested in a serious relationship, which is my main goal lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 02:25 PM
1

25 and this mostly tracks. Two points I want to add: Narcissism (at least on dating apps) is at an all time high. So many girls outright having prompts like “Green flags I look for: obsessed with me”. I assume it’s similar for guys. A LOT of girls are only looking for casual/hookups. Definitely nowhere near as many as guys but I’d say those that aren’t already in a relationship are not looking for anything serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 02:57 AM
3

What age group are you in? Because in the early-mid 20s the vast majority of women on dating apps just want to see where it goes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 11:08 PM
3

Same bro. I think it’s better to be slightly overweight as a guy than slightly underweight. People will not hesitate to say things to you they would never say to someone heavier.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 10:59 PM
1

Anyways, obese people pay higher insurance. In the US? Because the ACA forbids insurance from charging more based on weight/BMI.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 09:52 PM
2

I’ve always been just a bit above the underweight BMI limit and this seems to check out. I think a guy that’s slightly overweight will usually do better than if he were slightly overweight. For example the start of the overweight and underweight BMIs @ ~160lb vs 118lb at 5’7.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 09:33 PM
2

Yeah I’m super skinny and I’ve noticed most women don’t like being the larger/heavier one, whether that’s due to insecurity or just a lack of physical attraction. I’ve definitely run into exceptions though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 09:19 PM
1

Maybe on average across all demographics but sure doesn’t seem like it in the under 25 age group. Through high school and college I’ve never had success getting into a serious relationship, but no issues getting hookups (some I didn’t even initiate). I manage to get occasional dates off Hinge and go to an obscene # of concerts/festival with a ton of new and old friends but still haven’t had anyone interested in a relationship at 25. I definitely think I’m a bit of a rare case for a guy though. M…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 01:55 AM
1

Even throughout high school and college I’ve never had success getting into a serious relationship, but no issues getting hookups (some even initiated by the girls). I manage to get occasional dates off Hinge and go to a concert/festival several times a month with a ton of new and old friends but still haven’t had anyone interested in a relationship at 25. I definitely think I’m a bit of a rare case for a guy though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 12:59 AM
1

I think the other end is commonly overlooked: if the guy is too skinny (and not tall enough to fit that tall lanky guy niche). I think most women won’t be attracted if she’s larger than the man, like with being taller.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 12:43 AM
1

Yeah but those subcultures are an extremely small minority of the population. I’d guess it’d be a turn on or neutral for like 5% of women and a turn off for 95%. If makeup was a turn on for more women they’re interested in than a turn off, then more men would be wearing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 12:32 AM
1

You assume attraction until show otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 09:50 PM
1

Yeah and I feel like half of that sub is plastic surgeons with how scientific they get with their ratings. Kinda creepy but qualified. Like look at this.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 03:07 AM
6

Luck is a huge factor as well. I’m 25 and while I didn’t have much trouble getting sex HS through college, I still haven’t been in a relationship. I’ve made and still meet lots of new friends of both genders and can occasionally get a date off OLD but nothing yet. Only thing I can attribute it is to luck (and maybe to being super skinny which is just a non-starter for some IME).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 09:32 PM
3

r/TrueRateMe Check the guides in the sidebar. Madlads do a true normal distribution. The sub is like 50% plastic surgeons.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 01:41 AM
10

5’8 is 65% of men just an FYI.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 01:39 AM
9

Yeah the nose is definitely the most “worth it” plastic surgery. Especially so because it’s hard to notice if it’s been done.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 01:25 AM
10

I think that could be because guys are more “ok” with it to a certain extent, and for sex not as an ATM. I’ve been used for sex by girls and I was fine with it. A more controversial take I don’t hear much about is just as many women as men are only looking to hookup.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 09:13 PM
1

Idk, I do far better with every other race than Asian women (Latina/Black >>> White > Asian basically). I’m an Asian dude in the US.
/r/seduction07/07/22 01:52 PM
6

Damn, and they said getting a girlfriend wouldn’t help depression.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 01:29 AM
1

Jc what if he was fairly skinny, about the same weight as you?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 12:21 AM
2

That’s a false dichotomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 06:16 PM
2

Yup confidence goes hand-in-hand with non-neediness. Mark Manson explains this really well in Models (a must read for dating IMO).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 02:59 PM
7

Honestly I would’ve loved to, but I was never asked. Only after college did I learn I had to be the one to bring it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 05:03 AM
2

I mean it’s not necessary the same way it’s not necessary for guys to date, but a significant portion of women are just looking for casual. I have friends who tell me about their dick appointments off Hinge/Tinder. I’ve had a girl tell me that on a date. I see about as many “looking for casual” as “looking for a relationship” on Bumble and Hinge, but by far the most common is “Don’t know yet”.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:55 AM
0

For the hookups? Most are mutual (I would usually be willing to try if they were interested), the rest they weren’t interested. Caveat being most of these were during college so I guess that’s to be expected. Several weren’t initiated by me. As for OLD, I’ve never had a hookup off it and it’s not something I pursue. Most of them they didn’t want a 2nd (or 3rd) date, 2-3 were mutual, 1 where I didn’t want a 2nd date. There was one close friend of mine I REALLY clicked with back in college, but sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:49 AM
1

That’s me, I’ve (25M) had a fair amount of hookups but never had a relationship, though it’s not easy getting either. I’ve always preferred something serious but I just never met anyone I clicked with I guess. I do have some success on Hinge, about 1 match for every 25 personalized likes and 1 date for every 20 matches, for a total of 9 first dates, 1 second date, ~1 date/month. For the first time ever I’m seeing more women on Hinge seeking casual than seeking a serious relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 03:30 AM
1

Just download MyFitnessPal and log whatever you search up that looks close enough. Doesn’t have to be manually weighed or anything. You’re not gonna suddenly pass out from being a little hungry unless you’re eating all sugary foods.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 08:39 PM
1

There are a ton of home & body weight exercises you can do at home (check the wiki on r/Fitness). Maintaining a healthy weight doesn’t even require exercise, that’s just a matter of controlling caloric intake.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 02:47 PM
7

Good starting point for anyone is reading Models by Mark Manson. He used to be a dating coach but wrote Models after realizing most PUA stuff was bullshit and started a wave of “natural/inner game”. It’s geared towards men dating women but 80% of it still applies to any gender/sexual orientation.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:01 AM
1

I don’t see how Models is RP at all. “Attracting Women Through Honesty” is literally in the title.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 09:19 PM
3

Except for the 1st one, these are all just being an asshole/manipulative, which I guess is what some women here picture is what all dating advice for men is like. A good example of actionable yet honest dating advice would be from something like Models by Mark Manson.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 09:10 PM
2

Idk about others, but for me it’s sexy seeing a woman I already like doing whatever her passions are. If it’s a woman who I’m not attracted to like a friend, I just think it’s cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 12:56 AM
16

Don’t ask the customer how to sell cars, ask the (successful) car salesman.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 12:38 PM
14

Accurate. I’ve seen profile reviews of literal models to Chris Hemsworth-looking Ivy League finance bros and they pretty much all say they have tons of average girls willing to hook up but the few matches with girls in their league always ghost or never respond.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 08:41 PM
2

What? Looks has everything to do with it in the early stages, especially with online dating. Just being at a healthy weight opens up your options dramatically.
/r/seduction20/06/22 12:25 AM
13

Yeah it’s better to drop your standards to losing it to someone you’re not attracted to before resorting to paying for it. The largest benefit of losing your virginity is knowing you CAN get it and can get it again in the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 01:13 AM
13

Is it also uninformed consent if a woman didn’t tell me how many sexual partners she’s been with before sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 01:10 AM
18

None of that will tell a man how to sustain a relationship which is where a lot of the ones who want one drop the ball. No, the struggle for most guys is getting a date then doing well on those early dates. Basically everything up until a relationship. Women are giving advice from that relationship perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 07:51 PM
1

Gotta go grab some milk.
/r/seduction18/06/22 03:50 AM
2

Well, that’s honestly a really solid list. It’s kinda hard to suss out your personality tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:54 AM
2

Here’s an in depth guide to flirting for complete beginners (and autists)!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:11 AM
1

Actually kinda agree with that second part. Lots of people tend to be attracted to some races and less attracted to others. Saying you wouldn’t date ANY black person, even if they were Halle Berry or you were otherwise attracted to them, is kinda racist.
/r/seduction16/06/22 10:31 PM
1

No, the guy was transparent. Same here.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 12:11 PM
1

Skyn Elite*
/r/seduction12/06/22 10:03 PM
1

And a woman admitting to it: Women are more likely to date for potential… especially jerks, we think if we are awesome girlfriends / partners we can make a selfish jerk come around and treat us better if we “show him how much we care” and he will transform into an attentive loving partner… well over half of r/relationshipadvice is women who married aholes or living with them and they keep putting up with it hoping it will change … it got so depressing I had to stop reading the posts and I joined…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 09:45 PM
1

I could say the exact same for all these guys lying about wanting something serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 09:16 PM
4

It’s literally required and not hideable on every major dating app except Tinder. Bumble, Hinge, OK Cupid, FB Dating, etc… it’s just as acceptable as asking someone their height Dude seriously? No definitely not, at least in the US. I’ve never been asked my height on a date anyways.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 09:15 PM
2

Sure, plus numerous posts on different subreddits from both mens’ and womens’ perspectives. Same as where you’re getting your info of fuckbois not being transparent.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 09:13 PM
2

No one puts their weight on their profile though… It’s also not socially acceptable to ask someone their weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 09:09 PM
2

Eh, usually what I see is that the guy is upfront that they want something casual or keep it vague like “go with the flow” and those who stick around think they can change his mind. Most women just next these guys when they say that but a few stick around. Then there are the guys who lie they want something serious but again, most women next them when they start playing games.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 08:59 PM
2

Read Models by Mark Manson.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 08:49 PM
10

For the vast majority of women their requirement is simply that you’re taller than her.
/r/seduction11/06/22 08:51 PM
2

I had a conversation with someone on one of the dating subs where she stated knowing how to escalate, flirt, and how/when to go in for a kiss was just “common sense”. Here it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 11:08 PM
3

Yes, this is why the advice of “be friends first” when one is already attracted is terrible advice. Just ask them out.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 10:54 PM
2

Personally I haven’t noticed a trend either way. At a party I had a girl come up to me with her friend, and her friend said “Hey my friend thought you were cute”. 3-4 times I’ve had a random girl come up to me in the club and ask if I wanted to make out, but this is out of hundreds of nights at clubs/concert venues so it’s still a very rare thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 10:50 PM
1

Do GOMAD (gallon or half gal of milk a day). Check out r/Gainit
/r/seduction07/06/22 12:59 AM
1

I think a much better analogy is don’t ask a random consumer how to sell calls, ask a (successful) car salesman. This post and its comments from MensLib explains it pretty well: “Why feminist dating advice sucks”
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 12:44 AM
1

I think white women are more open to dating outside their race than white men on average as well. Other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 04:09 PM
2

Brb, investing in Impossible Foods.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 01:10 PM
7

They swept the world with a different form of masculinity than the traditional western type. Kinda like with Timothee Chalamet. As a skinny, shorter Asian guy, kpop has been a blessing for my dating life.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 08:08 PM
4

Dating is like the one thing where this is far from true.
/r/seduction17/05/22 03:03 AM
5

they’re flakey because 50% of guys are fucking creeps to them This is definitely not the (main) reason why they flake either. If they were creeps they wouldn’t be getting that far.
/r/seduction17/05/22 01:40 AM
7

My husband and I, while we were dating, took a break (I was relatively fresh out of another 6 yr relationship). I’d felt we were moving too fast. So I explained, went NC so as not to toy with him, and dated other men. He periodically sent flowers and chocolates every now and then as a “don’t forget about me.” After going on like eight first dates, I realized there were many tools in the sea, and what a good thing we had. YMMV. F for your husband. Jesus…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/22 04:44 PM
6

Yeah I’ve noticed similar. Think it’s an ego thing with less attraction women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/22 04:19 PM
3

I have had a fair amount of interest and hookups. Never had anyone interested in a relationship though. 25M 5’7” on the lower end of the healthy weight range.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/22 01:32 PM
1

A shit test? No way. A test to see how much she can get you to spend on her? Yeah.
/r/seduction12/05/22 10:02 PM
2

Gotta be careful with the alcohol for sure. The first time I got whiskey dick was with the hottest girl I’ve ever slept with.
/r/seduction10/05/22 02:03 AM
1

Be daring, be bold. Risk it for the biscuit and always shoot your shot.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/22 10:33 PM
4

Yeah I’d say for the vast majority of women, as long as you’re taller than her you’ll be fine. I very rarely see guys with taller girls unless she’s very tall for a girl, but that does happen too.
/r/seduction07/05/22 08:05 PM
1

Yeah but what % are willing to enter a serious relationship or marriage with them? The social ostracism and peer pressure is far stronger against white women who date out vs white men who date out.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 10:27 PM
1

There are some that do but a bit rare. Thing is dark jokes are extremely risky as it’s very easy to offend girls if they’re not into it. I would definitely hold back until you get to know their sense of humor better and even then test the waters with something more mild.
/r/seduction26/04/22 09:13 PM
4

Damn solid guide.
/r/seduction25/04/22 12:54 AM
1

Same. Caveats being none have turned into a casual thing and it was mostly in high school/college.
/r/seduction24/04/22 10:41 PM
14

On the nose. I’m Asian and only one out of the dozen or so girls (mostly white or Latina) I’ve dated from real life was into kpop or anything Asian. 8/9 girls I’ve gone out on a date with off Hinge/Bumble were into kpop or anime. I’m guessing OLD makes it so girls quickly filter out what they don’t like, and Hinge’s race filter is probably one of the first most will go to besides height/age/distance. It’s also a free filter unlike height.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/22 11:47 PM
1

I also hear it’s way more racist.
/r/seduction20/04/22 12:34 AM
2

Teach her how, also a really good way to get physical.
/r/seduction18/04/22 01:23 PM
9

As far as touching goes, don’t forget the important first step: ask. “Can I get a hug?” I have to agree to disagree here. For people you already know have trauma sure, but not everyone. It’s good that you let people know your own boundaries though.
/r/seduction18/04/22 01:20 PM
1

Someone made one the other way around too. I got 13.93% or “2/5 red pills” lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 01:14 AM
1

Yeah confidence/assertiveness are highly correlated with these other negative traits. Guys that are just as confident but aren’t shitty people have even more women chasing after them.
/r/seduction08/04/22 12:43 PM
0

Ahh the ole 1/2 your age + 7 rule. Tried and true.
/r/seduction01/04/22 03:35 AM
2

Oh my god, the difficulty with active listening is the worst. I have to reign myself away from worrying about what to say/do back to actually listening to what’s being said.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/22 04:46 PM
1

+1 for Skyn Elites
/r/seduction29/03/22 01:09 PM
4

Yes, very much so. There are plenty of guys that check boxes but don’t give her the tingles. Attraction is emotional, not logical. Not showing red flags is more of a concern than showing green flags IMO.
/r/seduction26/03/22 12:00 AM
11

You’re literally above average, and still taller than 99% of women.
/r/seduction18/03/22 07:53 PM
-1

It’s so hard to find girls into EDM outside of shows here in the southeast US :( DnB is also virtually nonexistent.
/r/seduction17/03/22 08:50 PM
1

Pmed
/r/seduction15/03/22 01:07 PM
1

It’s common but not all of them. Out of everyone he still has the best shot with girls same height or shorter than him.
/r/seduction15/03/22 05:43 AM
1

Not the same. That’s more of an “O” face.
/r/seduction14/03/22 11:20 PM
1

Love is the drug. Boom.
/r/seduction14/03/22 11:19 PM
2

I’d like one!
/r/seduction14/03/22 01:33 PM
2

Yeah I have to drop my standards a bit, but I’m still attracted to every girl I meet up with.
/r/seduction13/03/22 09:30 PM
2

Started going to festivals and concerts back in high school and have made hundreds of friends along the way. These were all EDM events though where the vibe is super friendly. I wouldn’t go to fests of other genres alone.
/r/seduction12/03/22 08:20 PM
2

If you mean like take notes on her favorite things, or important dates, etc. to remember then yeah that’s a pretty good idea.
/r/seduction12/03/22 02:03 AM
4

If you drop your standards low enough…
/r/seduction11/03/22 06:18 PM
2

Yeah I’d say joining a fraternity was one of the best decisions I’ve made in college. Ended up making lots of lifelong friends and the socials and date nights didn’t hurt either.
/r/seduction04/03/22 11:31 PM
1

SIRC Guide to Flirting
/r/seduction03/03/22 02:00 AM
1

It seems it’s relatively common with casual relationship/hookups, but for long-term/marriage, most people end up pairing up with someone within 3 years of their age.
/r/seduction28/02/22 11:25 PM
2

Gear maybe…
/r/seduction28/02/22 11:17 PM
9

Eh, I’d say being slightly overweight is better than being slightly underweight. If you’re super skinny without muscle it can be a turn off.
/r/seduction27/02/22 06:09 PM
15

Yep, half your age + 7.
/r/seduction22/02/22 05:41 PM
1

Compliments are fine but she has to earn that compliment for it to mean something.
/r/seduction22/02/22 05:39 PM
8

Then they should probably go work on that first. Shit, antidepressants worked pretty well for me.
/r/seduction20/02/22 05:52 AM
5

Lmao are you serious? I’m an Asian dude and you are fiiiiine.
/r/seduction17/02/22 11:25 PM
3

I mean yeah but women are generally more fickle than men when it comes to this.
/r/seduction17/02/22 02:06 PM
1

GOMAD. Gallon of milk a day. Well, I did half GOMAD and it worked alright. r/Gainit
/r/seduction17/02/22 01:29 AM
59

If they’re obvious signs and no earphones in then sure. Just read the room and all.
/r/seduction15/02/22 07:47 PM
2

Yeah also wondering. I’m bad about considering how my texts could be misinterpreted and sometimes slip up like this.
/r/seduction14/02/22 04:00 AM
2

Here’s a pretty solid post on ways to introduce flirting and teasing
/r/seduction14/02/22 03:56 AM
1

Oh I had that one saved, really solid stuff. Not sure if the website article has added stuff. https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mawqz9/most_common_mistakes_men_make_on_dates
/r/seduction14/02/22 03:49 AM
1

It depends on how you deliver it. Say it in a playful sarcastic tone with a smirk, because otherwise you might sound butthurt. Your first example is being butthurt.
/r/seduction12/02/22 11:14 PM
2

3% Man is a lot more practical. It’s the logical next step after models. There’s a few things I don’t agree with like only texting to set up plans, especially with OLD but it rings true.
/r/seduction11/02/22 12:45 PM
0

No, not really. If a guy’s attracted, he’s attracted. Very generally speaking, guys tend to fall in love/get infatuated faster at the start.
/r/seduction05/02/22 11:20 PM
0

I get it dude, dating as a minority fucking sucks. Anyone who says it has nothing to do with your race is bullshitting, but that doesn’t make it impossible. You just have to work twice as hard for it. I don’t have all the answers to solve this problem but what I do know is that wallowing in self-pity doesn’t do shit except bury your mental health deeper. Seeing a psychiatrist and trying antidepressants worked as a pretty damn good first step for me.
/r/seduction04/02/22 03:13 AM
1

I’m Asian, 5’7”, and weigh 130lbs. I’ve been on 5 dates and have a few hundred matches. Granted, it’s not a very good conversion rate or super models.
/r/seduction04/02/22 01:53 AM
1

I have a few hundred matches across Tinder and Bumble but never got to the point of meeting up for a date even once. Managed 5 dates out of ~100 matches on Hinge. People are more serious on there and you can send messages with likes.
/r/seduction31/01/22 04:47 PM
4

Yeah it’s tough to balance keeping this in mind while also thinking “need to keep leading” with conversation, etc.
/r/seduction23/01/22 05:13 AM
2

Just the fact that you’re concerned about being creepy means you’re probably not, maybe just awkward. It’s not easy and requires a bit of courage but I promise you, most girls are pretty forgiving even if they don’t like it.
/r/seduction20/01/22 06:31 PM
1

The main point you were trying to make was good advice but most of the post was ranting and shitting on women. That was probably why.
/r/seduction19/01/22 01:12 PM
0

As long as you’re taller than her, height doesn’t matter as much as you’d think. If you’re same height or shorter, yeah it really matters for >90% of girls.
/r/seduction18/01/22 10:47 PM
7

I once got a reply that said Models was a PUA book and it got upvotes, despite explaining there’s a section that’s anti-PUA.
/r/seduction18/01/22 08:31 PM
3

normal hot girls do, like for example, having a life Loooool
/r/seduction18/01/22 08:29 PM
1

Cheap string lights
/r/seduction16/01/22 05:26 PM
0

Nah you wanna build some suspense and keep the tension going. Basically keep escalating but put work into foreplay. Here’s a great post by MO.
/r/seduction14/01/22 10:01 PM
4

https://reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hlmra/dicarlo_escalation_ladder_concise_and_emphasized/
/r/seduction08/01/22 02:25 PM
1

As long as you’re taller than her, not really. If you’re shorter, it gets much much harder.
/r/seduction06/01/22 05:35 PM
2

Awesome, thanks.
/r/seduction01/01/22 11:26 PM
2

How about 5’7”? Current around 130lbs 11%BF.
/r/seduction01/01/22 11:21 PM
1

Kinda threw me off seeing you without your flair lol.
/r/seduction27/12/21 05:30 AM
8

For example, the “ick”. A random mannerism or something non-physical that immediately makes someone repulsive.
/r/seduction27/12/21 04:17 AM
11

Yep it’s the basics. Talk about FORD (family/occupation/recreation/dreams), don’t talk about RAPE (religion/abortion/politics/economics).
/r/seduction24/12/21 07:01 PM
3

Same. Never had one want to stick around after sex or even text, but this was also college so that’s to be expected.
/r/seduction12/12/21 07:18 PM
2

https://bookofpook.com/
/r/seduction24/11/21 03:02 PM
1

Nah I’m far from “the shit” but I’m continuing to work on developing myself, especially my interpersonal skills and connecting emotionally. I think I’m just average but I’ve become more comfortable and secure with who I am in the past few years.
/r/seduction25/10/21 03:16 PM
3

Oh for sure, I’m absolutely grateful for even having the privilege of not being a virgin, much less multiple women. I try to help out any of my bros if they’re struggling.
/r/seduction25/10/21 03:01 PM
1

Yeah honestly I’m pretty ass at it so that makes sense. I was pretty ignorant about what the girl’s side is like until recently so I’m going to communicate more on what’s wanted in the future.
/r/seduction25/10/21 02:55 PM
3

Yeah I figure that’s typical at my age. Sorry to hear you’re having the same issues and hope you find your person soon!
/r/seduction25/10/21 02:49 PM
8

That’s a very good point. I’m a quieter person so it takes some time to connect with people on a deeper level, but I’ll keep working at that as I continue meeting people and with the friends I have now. Thanks.
/r/seduction25/10/21 02:45 PM
11

Thanks, that’s what I was thinking. I’ve only really started actively looking for a relationship in the past year after graduation so that makes sense.
/r/seduction25/10/21 05:27 AM
1

Lmao I’ll bite… explain how everything I’ve accomplished with women and all the shots I’ve taken all the way back to 2nd grade are “passive”.
/r/seduction25/10/21 04:53 AM
5

I mean it’s possible, but I don’t feel like I need a relationship. I did used to have an anxious attachment style when I was younger but I’ve been secure for a while now. I don’t really get anxious if a girl doesn’t text back or doesn’t like me. I can move on fairly quickly once I know they’re not interested. In college I just hit it and quit it but it was reciprocal. Maybe I need to hit it and not quit it.
/r/seduction25/10/21 03:02 AM
32

Haha it’s certainly possible, though I can’t think of any. I did used to have an anxious attachment style when I was younger but I’ve been secure for a while now. I don’t really get anxious if a girl doesn’t text back or doesn’t like me. I can move on fairly quickly once I know they’re not interested. Still, I’d assume I could at least make it to the ‘regularly seeing a girl’ stage even with 🚩.
/r/seduction25/10/21 02:48 AM
3

Thanks man
/r/seduction25/10/21 02:36 AM
1

I have Eargasms, but plan on getting custom molded ACS Pros since I go to a lot of concerts.
/r/seduction24/10/21 07:25 PM
2

Yep. Haven’t had sex since college but just knowing I was able to gives me confidence I can do it again.
/r/seduction15/10/21 09:16 PM
6

Never had much trouble due to my height at 5’7” with girls my same height or shorter. Never had any success with girls taller than me though. Also never been insecure about my height.
/r/seduction14/10/21 01:22 AM
0

Regardless if you personally would like some random 40 year old man to flash you through a window, it’s still sexual harassment and not everyone will appreciate or consent to that.
/r/seduction28/09/21 01:47 AM
1

Conversely, can anyone comment on how it was gaining weight if you were previously skinny?
/r/seduction25/09/21 01:44 AM
5

Slim but tall*
/r/seduction17/09/21 03:06 PM
6

Damn, what country would be standout for Asian men?
/r/seduction02/09/21 03:52 PM
1

https://markmanson.net/std-guide
/r/seduction28/08/21 11:36 PM
1

Casually Explained (maybe not this one specifically but…)
/r/seduction27/08/21 07:05 PM
1

Bruh what? Move on. Not easy but it’s what you gotta do.
/r/seduction27/08/21 07:03 PM
8

This, but I would say Models is the single best book in this subject and the only one I’d say is a must read.
/r/seduction24/08/21 06:44 PM
3

I like to do something active like rock climbing or bowling. Depends on the type of girl though.
/r/seduction23/08/21 09:33 PM
6

Nothing logical. It’s all about how you can make them feel and what emotions you evoke. Whatever creates that spark varies for each individual.
/r/seduction17/08/21 09:44 PM
1

Agreed.
/r/seduction04/08/21 11:37 PM
1

Should be more like be the best authentic version of yourself.
/r/seduction17/07/21 04:11 PM
3

Nah I’m with you man. I don’t wait an arbitrary time for sex but it’s not a primary goal for me either. I realized I don’t enjoy it nearly as much without the intimacy and emotional connection. I’ll never turn it down if she initiated though.
/r/seduction05/06/21 05:41 PM
1

I was kinda thinking the same thing lol.
/r/seduction18/05/21 03:13 AM
5

Yup, way more romantic than a hotel and probably cheaper too.
/r/seduction02/04/21 07:29 PM
3

Gonna 3rd you on your morals. Might wanna look yourself in the mirror first.
/r/seduction18/08/18 05:39 AM
2

Damn what a journey man. Thanks for sharing.
/r/seduction10/12/16 12:02 AM
17

Because it fails 95% of the time
/r/seduction03/11/16 05:41 PM
1

Models - Mark Manson
/r/seduction07/10/16 04:49 PM
22

That just comes across as salty.
/r/seduction13/06/16 03:23 AM
2

Absolutely agree
/r/seduction02/05/16 06:55 AM
1

2
/r/seduction02/02/16 06:15 PM
4

I guess you're right I'm too tall
/r/seduction03/08/15 10:40 PM
10

5' 7" guy here ready to volunteer
/r/seduction03/08/15 06:53 PM
1

247 women per 100 men Wow
/r/seduction19/06/15 10:56 PM
1

As a hopeful UGA freshman, please tell me it's UGA.
/r/seduction05/05/15 03:58 AM
1

But what if you consider a serious relationship more over time? If your intentions just changed.
/r/seduction22/04/15 04:44 AM
1

I appreciate it.
/r/seduction22/04/15 04:29 AM
1

Yah
/r/seduction12/11/14 02:53 PM
4

I said the same thing not even halfway through the post.
/r/seduction20/10/14 10:41 PM
8

Thanks, damn good read
/r/seduction19/10/14 10:24 PM
1

Wow this really struck a chord with me. Thank you.
/r/seduction19/10/14 10:01 PM
1

Amen. I've done road trips and dozens of music festivals/shows alone and it's still a wonderful experience each time.
/r/seduction30/07/14 05:36 AM
3

Yay compromise!
/r/seduction07/03/14 06:08 AM
3

Love these, keep em coming
/r/seduction28/02/14 02:25 AM
2

What low level kino could you do when first talking to someone without seeming creepy or invasive?
/r/seduction16/02/14 04:19 AM
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