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vowelsareimportant Archive

View 8 posts and 266 comments by vowelsareimportant on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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14

These things helped me: Allow yourself to wallow a bit. Watch some Rom-Coms, listen to some sad songs, eat a pint of ice-cream, have a good cry, and then let it go. Lean onto your girlfriends. If you feel like texting him or calling him, see if one of your friends will be your text or call buddy to help you redirect. Get dressed up and go have some fun. Right after my breakups I had some of the best nights. I went out dancing. I went to concerts. I went to fancy restaurants. I focused on doing w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 01:47 PM
8

They got that statistic backwards. 99% of pedophiles and rapists are men. Not all men are rapists and pedophiles, but that vast majority of rapists and pedophiles (and murderers) are men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 07:39 AM
6

Mine hasn’t spoke to me in person since we had a disagreement over phone use when I was 6. Needless to say , I have abandonment issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 07:30 AM
12

I had a midwife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 03:10 PM
44

I can’t believe nurses suggested this. I was told not to shave or do anything to the hair before birth because it increases the risk of infection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 02:15 PM
149

I was always told to shave my legs and underarms because of this. God forbid the doctors see a grown woman with hair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 10:39 AM
598

Imagine having to tell your doctor “I ate gummy bears from a stranger on the internet who shoved them into her asshole.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:59 PM
91

I had almost the exact same thing happen to me. Three months of dating, he asked to be my boyfriend, I said okay. I stayed the night but didn’t have sex with him. The next day he decided he didn’t actually want to date me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:19 AM
54

Are you me? I too have been on a jewelry kick lately. And I’ve been buying my daughter a lot of little surprises.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 08:59 AM
234

Pregnancy hunger is like no other hunger I have ever experienced. You aren't being piggy or using the excuse "eating for two" to just do whatever you want. Sometimes you just can't get full or satisfied. I seriously went to an Indian buffet and had 4 plates of food and still had starving hunger pains. It's not an all the time thing during pregnancy but when it hits you, it is extremely difficult to control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 02:47 PM
35

Same. I only have one degree but I stay educated. I read about 4 books a month, mostly non-fiction, on top of news articles and essays. Men like feeling smart even if they aren't. I don't know how many times men have told me that I make them feel stupid. How is my being smart and educated doing anything to your intelligence?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 02:29 PM
58

Gifts are gifts. He gets to keep them. I'd think you'd probably consider it low value if he asked for things back he'd bought for you. If any ex asked me for anything he'd given freely, I'd say no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:26 PM
27

I’ve been to cooking classes, bowling, museums, outdoor flea markets, zoos, plays, concerts, ballets, adult arcades, and hiking. I like the idea of painting classes or pottery classes. Distillery tours are pretty common in my area and I’ve done that and a cocktail making class with friends. It would be good for someone you are dating and know well since it includes alcohol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 04:46 PM
18

My ex would mention engagement rings all the time. He'd actively talk about plans he had for a wedding with me (flowers, colors, what he wanted his suit to look like). Then when I said I wanted to be engaged before I moved in with him, that was too much, too fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 08:52 AM
15

They start early too. I love Halloween and so does my daughter. Every year we plan our costumes together and I have to ignore all of the costumes that aren't actually the thing but a symbol of the thing with tutu added. Little girls can't be just be Batman or Spider-Man, they get a t-shirt with a batman logo or a spider plus a tutu. It's so stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 12:01 AM
10

I'm overweight , this is the longest I've ever been single and it's by choice not because I have a hard time finding men. I'm a size 16; I've fluctuated between a 12 and 16 over the years and I haven't gone under a size 10 since I was in college. When I look in the mirror I still look good. I feel beautiful. I get guessed at 8-10 years younger than I am, I get complimented on my style regularly, and women have literally stopped me on the street and told me how beautiful I am. ​ While being overw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 02:24 PM
153

I’m tired of explaining my standards to men. Every single time I’ve been disappointed in something offered to me, I get a song and dance and then nothing changes long term. Why negotiate when they don’t actually want to negotiate they just want to convince me I’m wrong? I don’t do it anymore. For example, I was asked on a walk date recently. I thought about how I wanted to handle it because, obviously, I didn’t want to go for a walk with a stranger as a first date. This guy seemed fine. Respectf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 08:04 AM
33

The other day I was on a work call and a man called me sweetie multiple times. After like the 3rd time, I'd had it. I proceeded to end each and every one of my sentences with "sweetie" and "honey" and the ended the call with "Thanks, Darling". I hope the overkill made him realize how stupid and condescending he sounded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:20 AM
50

I’d have straight up followed the server and fixed that. Why would anyone split down the middle? Why is that a thing? I’ve never had a server offer that option. It’s either all together or you pay for what you ordered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 04:11 PM
5

I feel personally attacked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:01 PM
22

Okay, but when he rapes your little girls, that won’t “shake up” their lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 01:23 AM
65

It’s easy to fall into this type of stupidity. Dating as a single mom is hard. There are schedule issues and childcare issues that you have to deal with that people without children don’t have to worry about. What happens is women prioritize getting that partner instead of their children’s safety and security. They end up having dates but bringing their children along (brunches, museum trips, etc.). They end up letting men have Netflix and chill “dates” at their house because otherwise they don’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 11:54 AM
8

When I thought about the question, I could only come up with coffee. And even then, I can quit because I did for over two years while pregnant and breastfeeding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 10:30 PM
13

All rapists and thieves tell you that they go for easy targets. The ones listening to headphones. The ones not paying attention to their surroundings. The ones that look like they won’t fight. Maybe my pepper spray might not do much but I wear it on a wrist band for everyone to see. I want them to think twice before picking me to be their target.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 06:24 PM
12

This is so crazy to me. I carry pepper spray and a knife wherever I go. It’s literally on my desk at work right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:54 PM
34

My Venmo is @Fuckoff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:12 PM
12

Thanks! I hope they turn out good. I’m excited about trying out poses and settings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 03:56 PM
40

Um... I was actually thinking of making a photo shoot of myself like this. Is this wrong? I don't have people that just take pictures of me out and about so I only have selfies. It was recommended that we take photos that show our lifestyle and interests so I bought a tripod and one of those circle glow ring lights and was going to take photos of myself gardening, having tea, tending to my houseplants, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 01:07 PM
49

I had this happen the other day. A guy who ended things with me, over a year ago, over compatibility issues randomly messaged me. I'm not that desperate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 12:05 PM
62

I don’t know why anyone would think that these are high standards. They are normal, baseline, standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 02:18 PM
27

I dated a guy who did these type of classes weekly. He had slept with and/or dated at least two of the women in the group, maybe more. Beware of the regulars, these men try to date everyone who joins so it becomes a bit incestuous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 04:24 PM
7

My best friend has a nice man who also happens to be autistic. He lives in a town an hour and a half away from her but he always makes time to visit. During those visits he has been remodeling her bathroom for her and also helping me with projects around my house. He changed my oil for me the other day, for free, just because I mentioned in passing that I had to go in for an oil change in the next week or so. My bestie has PTSD and anxiety and he does his best to calm her and reassure her when s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 12:29 PM
107

I feel kind of stuck with following FDS and following what works for me, as I am, if I am going to start dating again. I dress up, I go to functions, I’m not unattractive but men don’t approach me, and if they do, they never ask me out or ask for my number. I have only ever gotten dates through online dating. It seems as if this is not recommended by FDS. I’m in my early 30’s, I know my life well enough to know that if I don’t online date, it’s effectively saying no to dating because I know that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 02:08 PM
44

My ex never laid a hand on me until I got pregnant. Then he started pushing me, throwing things at me, breaking things, and punching walls. I think it's because they know that you are going to realize that you've been treating them like your baby but once a real baby comes that's over. It's all about jealousy and ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:14 PM
14

Definitely. I am happy alone. I've been focusing on making my life as a single person exactly like I want it. I buy myself nice things. I take myself to places and activities that I enjoy. I have goals and plans and I work towards them without worrying about how potential partners might figure into them (this was an issue I had before FDS). And then, occasionally, I feel sad and wish that I had a partner. I miss the intimacy that comes with serious relationships and marriage. I miss physical con…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 02:29 PM
9

I asked my ex-husband once what he liked about me and he said that I was a good cook. That's it. He couldn't think of anything else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 01:09 PM
48

I recognized this about myself last year. I want the slightly awkward rich/popular guy who has a bit of trouble seeing that I’m right for him because of our social differences (I grew up poor). He overcomes that and realizes how special I am and that he can’t live without me (Pride & Prejudice, Notting Hill, Bridget Jones’ Diary, Pretty in Pink). I would romanticize guys who were slightly nice to me but never asked me out. I’d be smart and funny and cool and they’d see how awesome I am and event…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 04:43 PM
34

He is complaining that we don’t sexualize men in the way that women are sexualized. It has nothing to do with being wanted or complimented. There are a million posts by pick-mes on the internet claiming how much they love bald men and pot bellies. This guy is just a whiner. He wants to have something similar to wearing booty shorts and getting catcalled? Wear a nice suit and be sexy and see if you don’t get eye-fucked by ladies. We literally have fine AF fridays on this sub just to ogle good loo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:03 PM
5

If you work in a government building, you probably have security. If you do, let them know what happened immediately. Ask for one of them to escort you to the garage after work. This has happened to a few of my coworkers over the years and my job sends out an email with descriptions of the creepers so we all know who to look out for and to not let piggyback in the doors. Hopefully, your job can do something similar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:46 AM
7

I dated this one guy where I had to touch myself while we had sex in order to get off. A guy shouldn’t make me resort to that. I’ve been with men where they could make me cum 3 or 4 times with minimal effort on my part and they never had to ask, “did you cum?” because it was obvious. So, yeah, just because I cum doesn’t mean you should brag about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:41 AM
8

It took him two hours to realize that his girlfriend was gone. That’s how much he cares about her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:57 AM
57

He finds the sister attractive and is trying to overcompensate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 12:25 AM
22

I was confused by this too. I grew up on food stamps. You can buy a deli cake with food stamps. It’s not considered prepared food if it’s cold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 11:07 PM
78

That reminds me. “It Follows” is about the dangers of casual sex, hook up culture, and STDs. The horror movie starts with her accepting a car date with an older guy she just met.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:56 PM
1

I love your vase!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 12:26 PM
14

Next month makes two years for me. I am voluntarily celibate. I took a break from dating for a while but I am planning on getting back out there soon but the celibacy won't change anytime soon; I refuse to have sex with another man until I am in a committed relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 01:27 PM
17

This was the first list I used and then I took some of the tests she links to. https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist/ I also read this and found it very helpful. https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/18324004-i-think-i-might-be-autistic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 09:20 PM
26

I’m nervous too but I feel like I want an explanation for my weirdness . All of the stories from women and all the symptoms of autism make sense of things that have happened in my life. Otherwise, I’m just this unsocial weirdo who gets lied to a lot, needs to tap her leg or rock to feel comfortable, and can’t make eye contact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 03:50 PM
42

I am so excited for this! I am working on getting a diagnosis after suspecting I am on the spectrum and this is exactly what I needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:12 PM
6

For the ring, I’d want something that I’m excited to get and that I’d never buy for myself because I would consider it too extravagant. Nothing with a huge stone but not so tiny that it looks like it came from a Cracker Jack box. I like vintage styles and rose gold. I wouldn’t expect it to cost more than 5,000 but not less than 1,000. It’s got to be comfortable and something I want to wear every day. My bestie and I send each other pictures of engagement rings all the time so that our future fia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 03:18 PM
7

Same! I just watched his comedy specials for the first time ever a few weeks ago. He wasn’t on my radar before that. But listening to him, I felt something was off with him. His personality rubbed me the wrong way. This news just confirms that he’s shady.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:59 AM
2

Hi , I’m Jerry and I like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. They are putting their dating profiles on windshields now. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:36 AM
3

I don’t want to beat you up about this but the handbook would benefit you greatly. You did great with not letting him pick you up or telling him where you live. You also did well with not letting him pressure you into moving the date to your place (which is what he was obviously hinting at with the talk about “what do you want to do”) but we shouldn’t drink on dates and shouldn’t go to multiple venues on dates. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions. You need a clear head when assessing men. Multiple l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:26 AM
13

I just experienced this. I’m vaccinated so I went to an outdoor event with a friend and every single guy that passed by stared at us. I pointed it out to her and she said, “It’s because all of the good looking women have stayed home for a year. These men don’t know how to behave”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 11:12 PM
5

This is terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:54 PM
12

I said the exact same thing. Letting a man sleep over with her daughter there and she's only known him 3 months! That's crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:37 PM
8

Men aren't attracted to women, they are attracted to femininity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:24 PM
15

All this is showing me is that dads are super lazy and stupid. They don't know how to use their arms at all and rely on the baby to do all of the work. Thankfully, their children seem to be smarter than they are and realized that they could use the fat as a seat until their arms get strong enough to support themselves entirely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:18 PM
5

That man is gorgeous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 11:29 PM
208

I’m rewriting this. It’s his sister who just happens to pass her NVM brother’s bedroom on her way out for the evening. She looks in in disgust and ponders how he got so bad. She likes nerdy things too and doesn’t understand why he seems to think that means he must subsist on a diet of pizza rolls and Mountain Dew. Why doesn’t he know that the shower exists? Oh, well. She’s busy. She’s got to go meet her girlfriends for the midnight showing of The Dark Knight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:15 PM
11

I used to participate in some mild BDSM. The only lovers that I wanted it with weren’t good at sex. They didn’t give me the stimulation that a good lover could give so it left me craving something. Spanking, hair pulling, rough sex, etc. can give you that “something” feeling. I wasn’t satisfied by them and BDSM provided what could be called satisfaction. I find it’s not necessary if your partner actually knows how to use his dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:37 PM
279

Buy whatever you want. I own a 3 bedroom , 2 bathroom house that is huge. It has a bonus room, a dining room, laundry room, plus a partially finished basement. It's just me and my kid living here. I didn't want a "starter home" and I never wanted to move again so I bought the type of house I wanted the first time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 08:45 PM
13

I definitely fell prey to this. I was on track to marry my college boyfriend but I ended up ending things with him right after graduation. I was extremely lost at that time. My whole identity was I am a student and I am a girlfriend. After my break up and graduation, what was I? Nothing. I started dating immediately and found a man to marry me as soon as I could (we were married a few months after our one year dating anniversary). After my divorce, I wanted another husband ASAP. I knew that my e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 04:46 PM
26

I have OCD, there's no doubt about that but when I started dating this one guy it flared up like crazy. I had been off medication for years; 3 months with this guy and I had to go back on medication. About two months after I ended things with him, I was able to taper off again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:21 AM
4

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 12:33 AM
17

I’d break up with him and make him take me to small claims court if he wants that money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 11:54 PM
73

I’ve been wearing mine less and less. I’ve always been a sporadic bra wearer because I have small breasts and it’s not as noticeable when I go without. I used to limit it to when I wore sweatshirts or structured tops that already did some holding in but now I just throw a tank top under a lot of my outfits. A tank top undershirt gives me the nipple coverage I want without the discomfort of a bra. It’s a game changer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 12:00 PM
21

This happened to me too. I used to exclusively use OLD and I always found guys that I'd hope I'd match with. Before I made my New Year's resolution of staying off online dating, I made a hinge account for one evening. No joke, I spent 3 hours looking at profiles; not one guy that I'd be interested in dating. It was eye-opening and made me actually see my progress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 10:08 PM
33

I love going to hardware stores except for the men. I had to go buy a saw last night and was looking at different options when a man got way too close to me, gave me a dirty look, and was like, "excuse me". He had plenty of room to get around me in the aisle. He just wanted to make me feel unwelcome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:22 PM
13

I've been paying more attention lately to the women I know who are still married to their husbands after 10, 15, or 20 years. They seem happy on the surface, but, if you pay attention to the complaints they let sneak out, it speaks to a low level dissatisfaction. They might not be with the alcoholic cheating porn addict but they are with someone who takes them for granted. They are ignored, they don't get Christmas or birthday presents, they have to beg for compliments, they do the majority of t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 01:09 PM
16

There was a post the other day with a sign that said “racism is little dick energy”. The entire post was filled with men whining about it being body shaming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 12:40 PM
6

I think we all already know this to some extent, that's why so many of us have dated down. I seriously thought that dating a less educated, poorer, and less attractive man than myself would make them feel lucky and, thus, less likely to leave me. The thing that is hard to learn is, you have to like and respect him too. If you are embarrassed of him or not attracted to him, you won't be happy. If he starts acting up and your fears of being alone start making you give a million chances, you won't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 05:04 PM
57

LVM want to wait years and years and years now before asking to marry a girl (if they ever planned to at all). They have FOMO and want to exhaust all of their options before commiting to a marriage. What they tell women is that they want to do a bunch of other stuff with her before they get married; hit a certain age, live together for a certain amount of time, save a certain amount of money, and on and on. I think for men, marriage is a plan and a commitment. The man who doesn't really want to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 12:58 AM
21

Twenty-two years is not enough. There aren't a ton of people who are serial killers. When someone kills someone it is usually a one off crime but we frequently sentence murderers to life. Rapists and pedophiles continue to reoffend. They get these piddly ass sentences, get out, and rape again. My only consolation with this case is that this dude is old so he'll, hopefully, die in prison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 05:41 PM
164

I am shocked by the difference in their attractiveness levels. She is so beautiful. From her first video and the way she looks, I expected her to be leaving a moderately attractive frat boy type guy. This guy's got a weak chin and a weird body shape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 05:23 PM
18

If you are interested in some radical feminist literature Gyn/ecology by Mary Daly is crazy good. She makes connections that are mind-blowing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:31 PM
48

There is always push back. The patriarchy is like a hydra; you cut one head off and another replaces it. Each time we grow and stamp out certain issues; something else replaces it that may seem less insidious on the surface but when you look closer, it has the same undercurrents. That's why we have to be resilient and hyperaware.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 01:06 PM
6

Being in the mindset that I was less desirable because I was a mother made me feel like I had to choose LVM. I felt like I had to overlook flaws and incompatibilities because they were choosing me and my daughter and in doing so they weren't going to get a fun and care-free relationship but a family and responsibilities. The thing is, I have never seen my kid as a burden or baggage; I just knew how other people might see her and did the thinking for them. I'm not doing that anymore. If you date …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 11:48 PM
189

“He probably won’t notice”. Yeah he will, they look so different he’ll think she threw them out and bought new ones and yell at her about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 09:19 PM
1

Thanks! I'll check it out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 01:57 PM
11

Does anyone have any good romance novels they can recommend? I am so tired of getting into a book only to have the male lead end up being a controlling asshole and emotionally or physically abusive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 12:22 PM
2

You need to break up with him. You shouldn’t be a hard choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 05:30 PM
11

I was thinking about this the other day and I think it’s law of attraction type stuff. They are just walking around with “good vibes” all the time and so things work out for them. They don’t believe they are doing anything wrong and they think they deserve to get away with whatever bullshit they are pulling. It’s like entitlement and lack of guilt is sensed by the universe as self-love and guiltlessness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:32 AM
15

I’ve never understood this. Who doesn’t love roast beef? It’s delicious. If my labia looks like roast beef, why don’t they want to eat it up?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 04:47 PM
2

I have a curly bob in my natural color, dark brown. I tend to wear sensible leather flats and loafers. Would heels, wedges, or boots be better?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 01:12 AM
26

I find it hard to just pick a handsome guy and think about his body and get turned on so I always create a story in my head to go with the fantasy. So, if I think I’ll be masturbating later on in the evening, throughout the day I will fantasize about loving and sweet things that could have happened with an imaginary boyfriend. Maybe he sent me lunch at work because he knew that I was busy and deserved a treat. Maybe when I got home he was waiting for me with wine and flowers and we watched a mov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 05:52 PM
7

The pedos are exactly who I am attempting to avoid. I’m terrified that I am attracting weirdos with a schoolgirl fantasy and nice grown men my own age are leaving me alone because they aren’t creepers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 02:31 PM
9

Does anyone have any good recommendations for looking older or appearing more mature? I am short and I have a baby face. Depending on the day, I get guessed at anywhere between 17 and 25, despite being in my early 30’s. I’ve been offered kids prices at certain venues and have been yelled at by old ladies for having a baby “so young”. I don’t wear things that I would consider stereotypically young (graphic t-shirts, torn jeans, colorful tennis shoes) and I would describe my style as classic yet q…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 12:02 PM
24

I have always been really uncomfortable when men try to chat me up in “real life”. It doesn’t happen often, but, when it does, I usually freeze or run. When I had a FWB, I talked to him about it and why I felt more comfortable with online dating. I told him, “Then they can see what I’m interested in, learn a little about my personality, and ask me out based on that and not just how I look.” His reply completely changed how I viewed dating. He said, “Men don’t read the profiles. They swipe if the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 09:09 AM
15

Museum of modern art
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 01:47 AM
36

I have actually heard stories of men who do this but they show up and spy on your reaction after being stood up! It’s creepy AF. I’m sure if he did spy on you, seeing you looking amazing and having a great night alone made him butthurt. I’m so glad you didn’t let him ruin your night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:06 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 06:08 PM
3

I don’t know but I do worry about it. Courts here say that abuse towards me is no indication of future abuse towards his child. I know that that’s not true but that’s how they see it. He never put hands on me or threatened me or tore up the house before I got pregnant. He wasn’t a good partner but I was never scared of him and I didn’t expect it from him at all. I don’t want to make excuses for him because the stress of a coming baby and the potential end of our marriage were not reasons to beco…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:09 PM
33

I do have other family members that would be willing to take her but I, honestly, think that if something happened to me he would rely on those family members for time away from her and childcare. She does have a village. It is unlikely that I’d get full custody. I asked my lawyer about it when I was getting divorced and the way my state’s courts are set up, they lean towards 50/50 custody no matter what. They didn’t care about his drug use or that he pushed me and threw things at me or that he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:02 PM
7

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:47 PM
83

Oh, he’s already about 9 months behind on those and they really can’t go much lower anyway. He’d have to be paid up to get them to lower it because if he goes to court, he’s going to jail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:43 PM
505

Jokes on him. She knows her mama knows how to handle her shit. She’s been a bit nervous about corona virus and asked who would take care of her if I died. I was surprised by the question and was like, “Daddy, of course. You’d just live with daddy like you do a few days a week now”. The fact that she doesn’t even think of him as the natural option is telling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 02:24 PM
169

Thanks! And it really is the difference between an inconvenience and a tragedy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 02:15 PM
95

I think that depends on where you live. NYC or a similar big city with good and reliable public transportation? No. Midwest where you need a car to get everywhere? Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 02:11 PM
149

😂 Lol. Close. There was a bit more anger and a little less shock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 01:35 PM
5

OMG. Flashbacks to my ex's friends saying to him, "don't fuck it up" when they met me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:35 PM
16

Age range: 28-36 Must haves: Wants marriage Wants kids Generous Tidy Well-read A good conversationalist Honest Spiritual but not overly religious Has a good job, his own place, and a car. Porn free Enjoys doing things that I’m interested in. Emotionally intelligent Genuinely likes me. Fashionable A nice sense of humor Openness (I want people who give themselves freely, I no longer deal with people who it’s like pulling teeth to get them to talk or share) Has good friends and a nice family In ter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 02:01 PM
3

With my ex-husband I liked how idealistic he was. He was well-read and artistic and he could talk about subjects for hours. We both had dreams of living on a farm, getting away from society, and living simply. I thought he wanted to work to do that with me. With my next ex, I liked his sense of humor. He was clever and funny and easy to talk to. I also liked how he seemed to have his shit together. After leaving a man who refused to work and who was a messy slob, I was glad to date someone who h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 12:24 PM
12

These are my talking points when it comes up: Sex cannot be considered consensual if there is coercion involved, money is coercion. What is being filmed is non-consensual sex (also known as rape). The women who do porn have a history of sexual abuse and have mental problems and drug addictions stemming from that abuse. The majority of women in porn aren’t middle class women looking to feel “empowered” and get a little spending money (that’s a lie men tell to make themselves feel better) they are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 11:54 PM
3

I do this too! I actually forgot one time and my daughter was like, “Where are our flowers?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 06:26 PM
9

So many of my exes’ names listed here already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 02:45 AM
2

Lol. Not even close.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 04:43 PM
17

I have these things planned for once COVID chills out. Pottery class Champagne and truffles flight at my local wine bar. Macaroon baking class A night out at the theater (I have a thing for musicals)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 12:17 PM
3

Kayaking. It’s my most random thing that’s a no go for me. So many dudes in my area LOVE kayaking but I ain’t going. Most of the water sources around here are dirt nasty and so if you’ve been hanging out in them, you’re dirt nasty. No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 01:32 AM
3

Ahahahaha. I think I wear a bra maybe 3 times a week at most. I plan my work outfits around not having to wear a bra. I’d love someone to try to get me to wear one in my own fucking home. What an ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 01:28 AM
7

100% projecting. Who says that if you tell me about your feelings I’ll be hurt? No, if you tell me about your feelings, you’ll actually have to process them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:38 AM
2

Aquarius- Lazy dreamer with zero follow through. Hobosexual. Pisces- Messed up sexually. Unable to handle his emotions. Whiney piss baby. Libra- Two faced. Cared way too much about other’s opinions. Unable to make decisions. Overall a fuck boy. Cancer- Both were future fakers with Mama issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 11:12 AM
8

I feel like so much of what is called self care nowadays is just pushing women to spend money in the name of bettering our mental health and how we feel about ourselves. It’s not necessary. There are free ways to do self care and better yourself. If you want to level up while living paycheck to paycheck you just gotta do what you can. Look at your local library and see if they offer things that could help you on your journey. My library is closed due to corona virus but they allow patrons to rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 11:01 AM
11

Because girls don’t play baseball or camp? Be right back, gotta tell my 4 year old she’s doing it wrong. I feel so sorry for his little girls. I hope they never hear about his disappointment and I hope his wife realizes how damaging this behavior is to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 12:16 PM
11

Yes. Definitely. My exboyfriend was like a sex robot (good at sex, bad with intimacy. Zero emotion during it). He had a big dick, lots of stamina, wouldn't stop until I came, and he never came first. Consistently, every time was good-great. I considered making him a FWB. I told myself having sex with him again wouldn't make me feel all lovey dovey and emotional because it never felt like that with him, it just felt good (it's like we never once made love, we just fucked). Because of that, I had …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 12:24 PM
2

My anger comes in waves. After a while, I realized that a lot of my anger was actually just shame. I was angry because past me didn’t see things as I see them now. I felt embarrassed about letting myself get treated in certain ways and behaving in ways that were beneath me. The more I work on forgiving myself, the less anger I feel towards them. Being angry at them keeps my focus and my mental energy on them. I don’t want to keep giving them more of myself. I write down all I’m feeling and then …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 11:07 AM
4

I am the type of person who doesn’t ask a lot of questions. I always feel like I am prying and being rude if I ask about things because I assume if they wanted to tell me about something they would. When people ask me a lot of questions I feel quizzed instead of like the conversation is flowing naturally. It’s something I’m working on since I’ve heard that not asking people questions bothers them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 04:54 PM
11

They think we've never tried that. I've heard that shit for years from men and from advice columns and self help books. "Just Communicate" , "Men aren't mind readers", "Guide him", etc. It's like they think that every woman in a relationship where they don't get what they want is raging and screaming every time they want something or something goes wrong. I can guarantee I have said those exact words, "I like it when a guy gives me chocolates". But what I got were the chocolates that were conven…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 01:33 PM
10

I don’t think it’s selfish to be child free. I think having a child is a very big deal and it took me a long time to decide to do it. That being said, I think the child-free narrative is being pushed a lot lately and it concerns me. I don’t want to be all conspiracy theory about it, but we all know that the internet and the media push things to further certain goals for men, the patriarchy, and for capitalism. Peter Pan syndrome is rampant now. Lots of men don’t want to grow up, they would rathe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 11:42 AM
1

I just started tap dancing. I found some cheap shoes on amazon and a bunch of videos on YouTube. It’s really fun, I’m learning a new skill, and I work up a sweat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 01:10 PM
9

They will tell you, you just have to pay attention. While I didn’t date these guys long enough to get to forever girlfriend territory, they said things that I later realized showed that they wanted that. I was dating this guy for around 5 months when we discussed moving in together in the future. I told him that I would prefer to be engaged before moving in with someone and he argued that he’d rather move in and see how we lived together before proposing. Since I was being an accommodating pick …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 11:53 AM
33

It’s like twitter where you look for certain hashtags and people to follow. So FDS would need to make a handle. #Reddithateswomen seems to be trending right now. To start, I’d look at people posting that and see if you want to follow them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 02:39 AM
50

I just joined saidit and spinster in preparation for the move.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 12:07 AM
3

Thanks! I will look into it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 06:40 PM
13

Same. I’m thinking that’s why FDS branched out to other social media. They saw this push back against women ran subs coming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 06:28 PM
60

I was at a bar drinking with my ex and his friends when a male coworker I knew came up and started chatting with me. As we were leaving, he made fun of the way my coworker looked and then he picked a fight later that evening. The week after I introduced my ex husband to my boyfriend he wasn’t at home for the custody drop off time. I had to take my kid into work and call a sitter. (We believe if our kid is around a significant other, we need to meet them). After his coworker hit on me at the x-ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 01:04 AM
2

Not gonna lie. I wear a tiara pretty frequently (I have an excuse because my daughter is obsessed with princesses) and it looks amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 01:44 PM
3

Yes. I’d love a big party where I get to wear a big poofy dress and eat cake. I often browse BHLDN’s website just for fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 11:09 AM
3

He’s not the type of man anyone on here is trying to find. He admits he doesn’t want to pick any of those girls who have sex on the 2nd date, who are sweet to him, and cook for him. He doesn’t want them and all of their “pick me” qualities aren’t doing a damn thing for them in his eyes other than that they get to keep being a part of his harem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 08:21 PM
44

This guy is an asshole. I’ve dated several men after giving birth. I have stretch marks, my vagina was ripped open and sewed back, and I still leaked milk for like a year after I stopped breastfeeding. Not one man cared.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 05:15 PM
6

I’m introverted and I have social anxiety. I force myself to go out and do things even when I know that staying at home in my pajamas would be fine by me. I do things that don’t require me to interact with people but I can if I want. I’m not a big drinker or partier so I’ll never just go to a bar to have a beer looking to meet someone but I will go to a bar if there is a band playing. I can focus on the music and not talk to anyone if I don’t feel up to it. There’s tons of stuff you can do where…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 11:04 AM
13

He’s fishing for compliments and making it your responsibility to text him. He wants you to make him feel good about himself. His texts reek of low self-esteem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 10:54 AM
9

I would only date someone pro-choice since I know I’d have an abortion if I found out there was something wrong with the fetus. I don’t think I’d have one otherwise, since I actually really want another baby. But I do have a vetting thing in regards to men and abortions other than that. It’s a big red flag to me if I date someone whose ex aborted one of their fetuses. I have dated two men that had women decide to abort after they knocked them up. I’ve read some stories from women who have had ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 02:24 AM
2

I’m very torn about this theory. I’d like to appear attractive to men but I also wouldn’t be interested in anyone who wouldn’t approach a woman just because she appeared intelligent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 07:19 PM
5

Do men really not like glasses that much? I wear my glasses every day (I don’t like contacts) and I’ve never had a guy say anything about them. But then again, men rarely approach me. I guess they could be the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 06:54 PM
4

I wouldn’t date a man who couldn’t drive or didn’t have a car. That being said, I was also terrified of driving and didn’t get my license until I was in my late 20’s. I didn’t date much in my early 20’s but no guy ever said that me not driving or owning a car was a problem for them. And now that I do drive and have a car, I still tell men that I don’t like driving and would prefer them to. I’ve never met a guy who didn’t prefer them driving rather than me. I couldn’t see it being a problem for y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 01:32 PM
26

“Take care of you all night”? What does he think a date entails? I’m not convinced he’s ever been on one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:40 PM
134

Ugh. I shut that shit down. My former FWB (who I was trying to be friends with) tried texting me months ago, drunk and sad, saying he was feeling vulnerable and needed to talk to me. I told him to text me sober in the morning if he wanted to talk to me. I found out later on that his girlfriend had called him fat and he wanted me to boost his ego. So glad he got to just keep feeling fat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 01:05 AM
68

Psycho killers start with animals. If he’s watching someone kill animals, he’s going to move onto watching people killing women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 08:53 AM
1

Um yeah. I’m 5’1 and fluctuate between 175 and 190. I haven’t been under 140 since college. When I was around 140 I was between a size 4 and 6. That’s not chubby, that’s normal to thin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 11:39 AM
5

I have described my type as a Lundy Bancroft who looks like Jon Snow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 11:20 AM
84

That's exactly how my ex-husband tried to get me to have sex with him. He's my ex for a reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 03:05 PM
3

I always thought I didn't have a type because I've dated so many different kinds of men but I think she just described what I usually go for. I find the benign narcissists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 03:28 PM
76

I dated a guy like this and it made me uncomfortable. It frequently felt like it crossed the line into objectification. All of his compliments and touches felt marred by this over the top “worship” of my body. Like it wasn’t natural and I wasn’t human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:51 AM
33

The not sharing too much about my past. I feel like I’m lying if I’m not sharing. And the dating multiple men. I have a full time job and a small child. Even if I could find multiple men that I wanted to take me out, I only have time in my schedule for one date every week or two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 02:15 AM
3

You might want to try immersion reading. You listen to an audio book and read along with a physical copy. It helps keep you from getting distracted and makes you keep a steady pace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 01:37 PM
3

I’ll check it out. Thanks! And I think a book club with you ladies sounds amazing. Despite all my reading, I’ve never been in one. I’m not sure if I’m the right person to start it on here but, if there was one, I would join and participate (and possibly help).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 01:33 PM
21

I’ve been on a non-fiction kick lately. I’ve been getting a lot of book recommendations from here. I’m reading “Women Who Run With The Wolves” right now and loving it. It’s making me miss my old English major days. Some non-fiction books I’ve loved lately, that aren’t on the FDS reading list, are “In a Different Voice” and “The Birth of Pleasure” by Carol Gilligan, “Intercourse” and “Pornography” by Andrea Dworkin, and “All About Love” by bell hooks. I mix it up occasionally with some comics or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 09:05 PM
88

The male personality is made from memes and regurgitated YouTuber’s opinions. I think most stop trying to learn things once they get out of school. I read all the time. I probably read 3-4 books a month on top of online articles and essays. So many men have been low-key annoyed that I enjoy learning and like talking about the things I’ve read throughout the week. If they don’t know about the topic, they don’t want to hear about it and god forbid they look it up so they can keep up. I secretly su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 07:03 PM
8

I was waiting for the consequence to be time out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 01:42 AM
16

I had the exact same thing happen to me. He even called himself my boyfriend and met my family and my friends. When I asked where he saw us in the next six months he said, “I thought we were just hanging out”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 09:46 AM
82

The “I’m high” part is a way for him to absolve himself of any guilt because if you had responded the next text would have been dirty (dick pic, asking for pics, trying to initiate sexting).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 09:08 AM
2

I was just thinking about this yesterday. Part of my job requires me to repeat information back to people to confirm that I’ve heard them correctly. I will repeat verbatim what a man says to me and 7-8 times out of 10 the man will say “No. it’s....” and repeat back what I just said. They just want us to be wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 04:17 AM
14

Are they supposed to be making fun of us? Everyone on there looks great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 10:01 PM
1

Pass. If they hate themselves they end up hating us for being dumb enough to like what they hate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 11:44 AM
23

I just saw a post about this on a parenting forum and cringed. The thing is these women will probably tell their partners what they want and still won’t get it. If they don’t care to know you enough to know what you want, they don’t care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 07:52 PM
3

Think of it this way, would you want someone to go on a date with you because they felt bad or like it was an obligation? Just say you didn’t feel a spark during your meeting and you wish him the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 01:03 AM
7

Think of it this way, would you want someone to go on a date with you because they felt bad or like it was an obligation? Just say you didn’t feel a spark during your meeting and you wish him the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 01:03 AM
23

Think of it this way, would you want someone to go on a date with you because they felt bad or like it was an obligation? Just say you didn’t feel a spark during your meeting and you wish him the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 01:02 AM
3

Think of it this way, would you want someone to go on a date with you because they felt bad or like it was an obligation? Just say you didn’t feel a spark during your meeting and you wish him the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 01:02 AM
216

I didn't change mine when I got married. When it has come up with men that I've dated, I give them the options I am comfortable with if I ever get married again. They can take mine when we marry. I will hyphenate if they do too and put my last name first. We both keep our last names and any children will be hyphenated with my last name going first because I did most of the work. I'm sure you aren't surprised most dudes don't like any of these options but it's a deal breaker for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 04:10 PM
14

I’ve been there. I went two years without sex due to pregnancy, separation, and then a divorce. After I felt like I’d given myself enough time to heal from my divorce, I was gagging for it. I’d had 3 sexual partners in my life and only one of those was a 3 night stand type of thing. I was so sure that I was missing out on all the fun and that it would be a healing experience for me to have some no strings attached sex and just be taken out and have a good time (damn you, Sex and the City). I’ll …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 11:32 AM
4

I have a question in regards to this. I know we are supposed to be vague about exes and not talk about them or the trauma they caused but I’m divorced and I have a small child. Men generally want to know why we divorced, how long I’ve been divorced, my custody agreement, how old my kid was when we separated, etc. How do I broach these topics without sharing what were low value behaviors/abuse that I tolerated before but won’t tolerate now? I can’t really say something vague like “we just weren’t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 07:18 PM
1

I’m almost at a year of celibacy! I’m waiting for that date to roll around and I’m celebrating it. My body is a temple and I’m not letting just anyone enter it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 12:06 PM
6

I don’t know what it is but once I give men a compliment they stop talking to me. Maybe it’s their way of saying they aren’t interested but I wasn’t interested either, I just thought your shirt was cute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 01:55 AM
75

I was thinking the same thing. He’s lying. He probably was doing it to punish her after something that happened at the party. I bet she asked him to slow down and it pissed him off and he refused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 04:51 PM
71

I noticed that about one of my exes too. He never initiated sex unless we were fighting and I was crying. That’s when he’d kiss me and hold me and try to be intimate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 05:25 PM
11

It really is the worst here in the US. I worked until the day I gave birth. One of my coworkers worked through parts of her labor and didn't leave work until her contractions got bad enough to leave for the hospital. Another one had her water break in her chair. I saved my vacation days and sick days for about 5 years to be able to take 12 weeks FMLA and still get paid. After that, I had to go back to work despite having postpartum depression and anxiety. It was an additional 9 months, after I g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 09:51 PM
3

I just feel better. I went through a sort of a breaking point in July. I've read so many self help books and feminist texts over the last 9 months trying to heal from the clusterfuck that was 3 bad relationship/break-ups in the span of two years and it has really made me a better person. The end of my last bad relationship was the wake up call that I desperately needed. I am calmer. I feel less stressed out. I've had fewer migraines. I even got rejected a few months ago and handled it like a cha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 01:50 AM
8

All of my LVM would buy me pads.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 01:21 PM
24

When he said that I should meet him and his friends at the bar after I got off work and then as I was driving there to meet him he let me know that he didn’t want to wait for me and he was leaving (he knew what time I got off when he asked). I wish I could say that that only happened once, but it happened at least three other times before I broke up with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 06:01 PM
27

I stopped in January. I don’t know if it’s forever but I don’t know when I’ll feel like it again. The thought of a man in my home or in my bed feels like too much of a hassle right now and I can’t see myself feeling differently anytime soon. I’m using Covid as a convenient excuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 02:28 PM
2

I have a great sense of humor. I’m fashionable. I make bold fashion choices and I get complimented on what I’m wearing at least once a week. I’m smart. I’m caring and compassionate. I’m a good mother. I’m good at my job. I work in a high stress field that has a high turnover rate. I’ve managed to keep at it for years longer than most. I’m responsible and dependable. I’m the one that my family and friends turn to when they need help because they know that if I can, I will. I’m good with money. My…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:28 AM
14

I go back and forth on that. It would take a lot to get me down the aisle again. I would love to have a good man help me raise my daughter, ease my financial burdens, split cooking and cleaning duties, and hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. But I can’t find anyone good enough or trustworthy enough to fit the job description. It’s better to do it really alone, than risk doing it alone anyway with someone there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 01:38 PM
2

Multiple reasons. I have always had an idea in my head of what I wanted in a relationship. I thought it was unobtainable and that I was asking too much for wanting certain things in a man. Since I was already settling from the get go it has been hard for me to determine what was the line, when I got disappointed, since I was already base line disappointed. I also was just glad that I was getting attention. I have been described as a A-type personality masquerading as a B-type for safety reasons.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 10:45 PM
11

This is me exactly. I was hoping for reciprocity in all of my relationships and never got it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 10:22 PM
2

Same!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 09:07 PM
11

Why does that guy have his shirt off? Ewww.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 01:35 AM
27

Me too. It works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 01:33 AM
132

I think some of this is that men are lazy. When women want something, they get it done, while men will just dick around forever. My ex-husband wanted the divorce too but wouldn’t file because he didn’t want to do the work of initiating it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 08:03 PM
4

I write lists of all the shit they did that made me unhappy. Anytime I start remembering good times, I redirect my thoughts to those lists of bad things. I also write letters to them that I don’t send. It’s helpful to vent and “go off” on them without any repercussions. I also keep doing the things that I would have done with them, alone. Movies, plays, shows, dinners out, etc. I don’t have to take anyone to enjoy these things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:04 PM
14

The guys who are interested in doing special things for you or buying you gifts will move conversations to things like that. For example, a guy I was dating asked me about the things I liked to do to treat myself, what kinds of things do I do when I splurge? It was an obvious move to get details of things I like. I told him about how when I go to a coffee shop I'll buy myself a croissant to eat there and macaroons for later, and how I always buy myself flowers when I go to the grocery, and how f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 02:46 PM
8

I left my husband because of my daughter. She wasn't a barrier, she was the push that I needed. I was terrified of doing it alone but I knew I had to leave for her. I was raised by a single mom and I saw how much she struggled and how she ultimately ended up alone. I didn't want that. I cried a lot about "becoming my mother". But I also saw how my life was going and how unhappy I was and I didn't want my daughter seeing our relationship and thinking it was okay. She does make me vet partners mor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 01:59 PM
8

You aren't asking for much. My list of qualifications for the perfect man is way longer and it just keeps growing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 01:25 AM
3

I'd never date a man who doesn't want kids so it doesn't feel like a red flag to me unless other things are present. The person has to be able to provide for the amount of children they want. They also have to have an interest in taking care of children even during the not fun times. It can't only be about playing ball with his future son. It also has to be about always wanting to raise a kind and caring future adult in a loving environment (even when they are screaming and throwing a tantrum in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 02:38 PM
10

I am hoping she has the best time and texts him selfies at each place she visits. He'd probably cry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 02:22 PM
24

I’ve had this shit pulled on me several times. These are the two examples that I can think of right now: I’m 5’1. A lot of the negging I get is about how short I am. I was on a date and my date complimented me on my dress. He then followed up with, “You have gorgeous legs. Your calves are amazing. Is it because you are short and have to tippy toe a lot?” I was chatting with a doctor on OLD. He asked what I was doing and I told him that I was on my lunch break at work. He asked what I was eating …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 01:13 PM
3

I found a house! I’m closing on it in the next week or so. I’m so excited about picking paint colors and starting a garden. And getting a fire pit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 08:57 PM
3

I think you are coming at dating from a place of anxiety and lack. Like if don't find him right now, then someone else will get your "one". There is no "one". There are multiple ones. And a man isn't going to help you feel loved, if you aren't loving yourself. First step, work on that self-confidence. You are the prize and a few jerks on OLD shouldn't make you feel otherwise. This book helped me out. I have some issues with the author, but, he does provide some solid advice and ways to work on s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 01:27 PM
11

This is how I am too. As soon as I have sex, my brain is gone. It's why I stick to the 90 day rule. I cannot allow myself the flexibility to do otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 01:10 PM
1

"This stuff doesn't happen in a vacuum". This is exactly the problem with Liberal Feminism. People act like we aren't currently living in a Patriarchy! We may have choices but the choices we have are still limited and affected by upbringing and societal pressure. We want to be good girlfriends. We want to be good partners. We want to make people happy. And we are told there are certain ways to do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 02:19 PM
29

I know people are saying “don’t shave” (I rarely shave but if I am dating and plan to get naked, I shave my legs and underarms and trim stuff) or “wear granny panties” but these don’t work if you are willing to push your own boundaries. I have seriously ended up having unshaved leg, granny panty, period sex with multiple guys too early because I thought all those things would stop me from moving too fast. Nope. Stay out of their house. Stay sober. And hard boundaries. That’s what will help you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 01:27 PM
7

In the area I live in, I make more money than most of the men I’ve dated. It’s a low cost of living area with a lot of poverty and I am middle class. I don’t have a problem with it as long as they make enough money to have an apartment, pay their bills, and take me out regularly. I prefer that they don’t have roommates but in a high cost area, I understand the necessity of it and would accept it. The red flag with your post is that you don’t find him attractive. Don’t settle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 02:23 PM
1

I have no idea why women can't see that they are working out trauma and internalized misogyny with BDSM. Even when I was doing some mild BDSM stuff I knew why I wanted it. I knew that I was in a bad place in my head and it bothered me. The lack of self-awareness is astounding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 10:01 AM
1

Makes sense. I ended up liking makeup more than I thought I would after I got a beauty box subscription. But I use it so infrequently, the samples have lasted me FOREVER. I ended up buying foundation, a smashbox eyeshadow palette, a few NARS lipsticks, Milk highligher, and a dior eyeliner from the Sephora but that's about all I own other than samples. But it adds up! I can see how it can be addictive, so many pretty colors and different looks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 09:43 AM
2

Damn. So much effort and money! My daily routine is dr. bronners body wash in the shower, Clinique face lotion , and tom’s deodorant. I never wear perfume, I might wear makeup to work once or twice a week or in the evening if I’ve got a date (I bought like 200 dollars worth of makeup over the last 2 years and got a beauty box subscription for a year so I am set for a while). I tweeze my own eyebrows, paint my own nails, and a family member cuts my hair (she went to beauty school years ago). I do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 08:51 PM
1

This is exactly how my most recent relationship went. It was a huge mind fuck. My ex-husband was a lazy, manipulative, lying, drug addict but I managed to deal with it for 6 years. Being with this covert abuser for 6 months was all that I could handle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 02:45 PM
3

Every time I have taken the time to explain what I am sensing in the relationship, they give me reasons why I am wrong and then later I am proven right. I haven't been wrong once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 01:43 PM
22

Hahahaha! I spent my marriage paying for my husband's community college tuition while he paid no bills (so over 9,000 plus room and board). When we separated I gave him 2,000 to leave my apartment so he wouldn't be homeless. I assumed that he would take my generosity into account when I filed for divorce and let me keep the money I'd worked so hard for. Nope. I had to give him almost half of my savings account. He is currently over 6 months behind on child support. Divorce rape, my ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 02:25 PM
11

My mother called me the “pretty one” and my sister the “smart one”. I was told over and over and over again that my worth was my looks and that boys would be lining up around the block for me when I got older. They didn’t. I figured, if it wasn’t my looks keeping them away then it was my personality. Any time a guy showed me any attention I was so grateful that they liked me for me that I didn’t stop to think much about how I felt about them. I’d do so much to make them happy because they made m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 01:14 AM
7

Same. I get matches with online dating but they are so dumb that I end up unmatching almost every time. I can’t get to the point where I want to accept a date from these men. I normally find one decent guy every month or so. And men don’t approach me in public. The guys who have asked me out online say that I’m intimidating and that they wouldn’t have approached me in “real life”. I’d love to be able to date multiple men but it’s slim pickings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:27 PM
15

I feel like I'm one of the only women I know who hasn't given into this. I have been asked several times but this is 100% a no go for me. I've done plenty of pickmeisha type things but this is a level of catering to male pleasure that I could never imagine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:05 PM
15

I know some people keep everyone as contacts, I don't. Once I am done with you, I delete your number. I don't think people should stay friends with exes, they are an ex for a reason. There are a lot of people on here saying it isn't a red flag to have you listed by first and last name, maybe it isn't but your spider senses were tingling. That's what matters. You felt something was off and you questioned it. His answers were the red flag. He was evasive, he was defensive, and he didn't respect yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:46 PM
17

I know! Always ready to hand you a tampon or tell you how beautiful you look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:38 PM
9

Because in "choice feminism" the choice is never feminist if it doesn't benefit men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:36 PM
6

I tried to do FWB once. I thought that I was safe because I initiated it and was doing it on “my terms”. I gave him rules; no emotional work, no over nights, he was to focus on my pleasure, no oral sex for him, if he starts sleeping with other people then I need to know for safety reasons, etc. He never hit me up for sex, I planned it every single time. He knew that I was dating other men, trying to find a boyfriend, and that I was using him so I wouldn’t jump into physical stuff too early with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 12:06 PM
2

I really struggle with this one because I, honestly, find myself really attractive. I think it surprises people that I don’t suffer from the “she doesn’t know she’s beautiful” stereotype. I know that I’m not ugly but I’m also short and chubby. I rarely wear makeup, I don’t shave often, I wear glasses every day, and I have a weird sense of fashion. I have been called beautiful by multiple men. I have been told that I’m too pretty to be a model (something that when I was thinner I expressed intere…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:17 PM
10

I love She-Devil. It's so good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 01:20 PM
25

I feel less stressed and heartbroken about relationships. Before I was doing so much and getting so little. I felt stressed and worn out and by the end I'd feel bitter because I'd worked so hard and never got what I wanted and needed. Now if things don't work out it's kinda like, "Eh, who cares , I'm still awesome."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 02:04 AM
19

I’m sorry this happened to you but you handled this so well. I’m imagining myself in the same situation and I wouldn’t have been able to keep my mouth shut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 12:58 PM
1

I love holidays. Being single on Valentine’s Day has never upset me because I make it special for myself and the people who I care about. I always give the kids in my life books and balloons. And to treat myself, I’m buying truffles from my favorite candy shop and my bestie and I are getting dressed up and going to the opera with tickets the last guy I was seeing gifted to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 07:00 PM
3

I’ve had men at work try this with me. I keep my distance. You may not respect your relationship but I respect your wife’s relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 11:17 AM
8

I used to feel the same way until I read "All About Love" by bell hooks. She says, "Affection is only one ingredient of love. To truly love we must learn to mix various ingredients-care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honest and open communication" I realized after reading this that all of my relationships had certain parts of loving but not all of them. I was left feeling unloved because I often mistook care and affection as love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:36 PM
14

She's probably breastfeeding. I had to get up every 3-4 hours to nurse and then once you try to lay them down in their crib they often wake right back up. It's how I ended up co-sleeping despite what everyone and their mom says.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 02:54 PM
10

Or the “are you mad at me?” text. Yes, motherfucker, I’m mad and you know why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 12:03 PM
32

I really wish I had found FDS right after my divorce. It would have saved me so much heartache over the last two years. But this guy is now blocked on my phone and he knows to avoid me at work. I got out minimally scathed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 01:34 PM
61

I started dating a coworker once. He knew about my previous relationships and knew exactly what I was looking for in one (something serious, marriage, children). I ,naively, thought that there was no way he’d go out with me unless he was serious about me since we were coworkers. Before our 3rd date he mentioned being tired so, pickme that I was, I went to a store and got him both a hot and iced coffee because I wasn’t sure what he’d prefer. I spent that entire weekend after the date having sex w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 12:16 PM
11

My best friend and I threaten this about once a year. I think we may actually end up having a Boston marriage if we get to our mid forties and haven't found any decent men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 01:20 AM
72

It’s not like they come back because they did therapy and read a bunch of self help books and figured out what their issues were. They are just lonely and I don’t care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 08:51 PM
22

I find that dressing a little weird, but not stereotypically weird, keeps men from noticing me that much. I play with color and pattern and focus on it more like an art project to please myself. I wear a lot of vintage but I don’t often sex it up like the rockabilly girls do. And I wear whatever I want even if I haven’t shaved (if I’m not dating someone then I only shave about once a month).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 12:01 PM
46

Yep. My sister was trying to set me up with a coworker of hers who she thought I’d be into. Then she overheard him in the break room saying he was going the propose to the girl he’d previously said he was not that into simply because she was “nice” and didn’t have kids. I dodged a bullet right there because dude was totally my type. I’d hate to look up and figure out a guy talked shit about me to his coworkers and married me for such terrible reasons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 08:58 PM
21

Porque no los dos? I love food and expensive gifts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 08:12 PM
13

After our divorce he ended up living off of student loans, instead of working, so he has a ton of debt. He graduated over 8 months ago and cannot keep a job. Since he lost his job and can’t seem to get hired anywhere he moved back in with his parents for the second time. All those years of him blaming me for all of his problems and, lo and behold, I’m out of the picture and he’s still got them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 11:33 AM
2

Lol. I think we "dated" the same person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 01:21 AM
20

I get headaches for sure. I used to get them all the time with my (probably undiagnosed BPD) ex. I’d go over to visit and end up in bed with a migraine. And recently, I was seeing this guy for two months. He was sweet and attentive and seemed nice. I agreed to a sleepover at his place (no sex. Just movies, dinner, and cuddles) and in the morning I woke up with a headache. He wasn’t mean in the morning or anything but something felt off and the headache just kept getting worse and the whole weeke…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 08:48 PM
9

I can think of a couple: 1.During a conversation where I said that I don’t understand why men always end up abusing me he said, “It’s because you are so argumentative and you never shut up”. In high school I went up to the board to write an answer on it and got a paper ball thrown at me. I turned around to yell at whoever did it and two asshats started talking about me and one said, “she would be hot if she’d just shut her mouth”. When I caught my then husband trying to cheat on me by having an …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 11:28 AM
49

I’d do some sexual things before the 3 month mark as a way to test. For example, the guy I was seeing before invited me over to his place after a month and a half of dating and only kissing. That night we, hot and heavy, made out for a long time. It gave me a little taste of what was to come. We had more dates and then I went over another time and let him go down on me with the understanding that I wasn’t going to reciprocate. After a few more dates, I finally touched his penis to see if it met …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 01:07 PM
3

When men ask me about my day I usually tell them that I’ve been reading Andrea Dworkin. Gives them a little taste of what they are in for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 01:27 PM
3

You are not overreacting. This is straight up physical abuse and he is using a tactic called minimizing. You need to read “Why does he do that?”’to better understand what happened to you and why (and why it’s not your fault).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 11:49 AM
9

Catholics require relationship counseling before marriage in the church. I think this should be a secular thing too. It makes sense to have a third party look at your relationship and discuss issues before something so lasting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 03:45 PM
8

Having my daughter is what kicked some sense into me and got me out of a relationship with a liberal “feminist” man. I was the primary breadwinner and my husband was going to be a stay at home dad. I stayed in that marriage for a long time thinking that if I left I would be considered a bad feminist for being upset that I made all of the money and paid all of the bills. It was supposed to be equal but it never was. When I realized that I would be working (on top of cleaning and cooking and breas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 02:29 PM
13

Junglepussy has a few good ones. I like “Bling Bling”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 10:29 PM
3

The remembering little things is so important to me. I mentioned in passing to the guy I'm seeing that I've never been to the opera and really wanted to go. Yesterday he told me that bought us tickets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 05:17 PM
5

I've had this question go both ways. It becomes pretty obvious in follow up questions whether they are just trying to get to know you or are judging distance for easy hookups. I live in a city that is pretty sprawled out with little sections being the trendy spots to live in. If you live in certain areas of town you are more likely to have a certain style or personality so sometimes people are trying to get an idea of your lifestyle with this type of question. I am always vague and tell them the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 04:33 PM
17

I think he should be asking for a date at least once a week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 04:19 PM
102

Yes! He is looking for a sexy therapist. Run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 07:34 AM
10

I like to say that "ignorance is not an excuse". There was an article posted on here or pinkpill not too long ago about how men pull the "I didn't know" card for everything. They are CEOs and surgeons but they "didn't know" basic human decency. Hell, my coworker (who I am not friends with) got up from her desk the other day and said she was going to the soda machine, and "does anyone want anything?" I did and went to reach for my purse. She said, "no, my treat". Why can a coworker who I barely t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 05:27 PM
11

These are the subtle things to pay attention to. You aren't being too picky. For example, my ex-boyfriend did those type of things. We went to a wedding together once and he went to go get something from the dessert table and didn't ask me if I wanted anything and didn't bring me back the dessert we were just talking about "looking so good". It was a tiny thing but looking back it was another part of the pattern of selfishness and and not caring about me. You are being exactly the right level of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 05:18 PM
8

I have a theory that men make fake profiles like this so we lower our standards and are stoked when we see basic level dudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 06:37 PM
34

I can’t understand it either. I’ve had several shitty boyfriends but they all actually loved to eat pussy. If any of them had made me feel bad about my vagina, then it would have been off the menu in any form.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 02:23 PM
50

Yep. I dated a guy and I insisted on an STD test before I stopped using condoms with him. He had chlamydia. He had no symptoms and no idea when he caught it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 01:17 PM
6

I've had bad experiences with Philosophy majors but not in the way that you've described. In my experience there was a lot of depression and needing me to make them feel better about their constant existential crises. But Libertarians! Oh God. Never again. All they do is debate and list fallacies in order to appear holier than thou.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 05:05 PM
13

I’m a single mom who has been out dating for 2 years. Here’s my advice: Only date men who say they want kids. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want any more. If they don’t want them at all, they won’t see a future with you and yours. Find 2-3 good babysitters. You want to be able to actually accept dates and have a backup plan if your first choice babysitter falls through. You don’t want to be that person canceling all the time because of kids. Don’t make all your free time about dating or the kid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 10:24 PM
12

I don't know how many men have told me they liked me because I am so outspoken and opinionated. They all found it "refreshing" until I started saying things that differed from their opinions or challenged their lifestyle or worldview. Then, of course, they just wanted me to shut up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 05:10 AM
12

I still just pretend it’s not there. There is no need to acknowledge the actual check. Keep chatting with your date as if nothing happened. Tell him you’ve had a great time, tell him the drinks or meal were great. He will either say something (like your previous dates did) or he will pay. There is no need to pretend like you wanted to pay to appear nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 07:57 PM
25

I just pretend the check isn’t there. I don’t move. I don’t look at it. I just keep eating and talking. If he wants you to split the bill then he’s going to need to use his big boy voice and say it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 07:31 PM
15

I feel like I have a midrange libido. I like to have sex 2-3 times a week (more if the guy can go multiple rounds during the same session). But with my ex husband I never wanted it. We’d go months without sex because he was dirty, lazy, and would ignore me all day until he wanted sex. His idea of foreplay was crawling in bed at 6 in the morning and grabbing my ass and breasts (after he spent all night playing video games and watching porn). I think he’d be shocked at how much I will put out and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 07:06 PM
26

If it feels too soon for you, then it’s too soon. Some guys do this to force the feeling of intimacy. They introduce lots of people to their family so it’s not a big deal to them but they know it reads as a big deal to women. I think that the 3rd date is pretty soon for an actual introduction with the parents. It should be after you are exclusive and you should meet them at an actual occasion that was created to introduce you to them, like a family dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 11:47 PM
8

Same. I had this happen to me. The first month we were hot and heavy. Three months in I was told no constantly, we dropped down to sex once a week, and he treated it like a chore. He knew exactly how to make me cum, did it, and was done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 02:09 AM
27

Yep. I've had my bike repaired for free by bike shops, I've had free food given to me by restaurants, had lunch brought to me by coworkers, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 05:53 PM
5

I am expecting something but something small. I think it would be a big red flag if the guy didn’t do anything. I am planning on getting some chocolates for the guy I’m seeing. It’s so close to Christmas and if I was my usual gift giving self it would be a big gesture type present. This feels like being true to my giving nature but also not high effort in that if he doesn’t get me anything, I won’t be too put out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 04:12 AM
41

The only person I’ve ever seen in a poly relationship that was attractive is one of my coworkers. He would give me really nice compliments about my outfits or my makeup any time he saw me so I thought he was gay for a bit (since straight guys don’t normally tell you your eye makeup looks good). I’d only heard his girlfriend referred to as his “partner” so I didn’t know she was a woman until I overheard some work gossip. Then one day in the elevator (while giving me his usual compliment on my hai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 03:02 PM
3

Yes. And it was obvious he wasn't that into me. We tried to be friends later and he admitted that he was intentionally trying to push me away because he wasn't over his ex-wife and didn't want a legitimate relationship with me. If he wanted to, he would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 03:34 PM
8

Congrats! That’s amazing. I am so ready!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 03:01 PM
41

I’m looking for a house finally! I realized that I was self sabotaging and not moving forward with it because of the idea of a future good partner who might already have a house or not like mine or whatever. I didn’t want to make an investment that I’d just have to give up. No more changing my life for the dream of someone else. I want a house, I’m getting it; future suitors can move in and pay me rent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 11:46 PM
6

I had a "friend" similar to this. I always got apologies but nothing changed. He is not your friend. Apologies don't matter, actions matter. I'd say keep your distance, don't contact him anymore to tell him what he did wrong or how he hurt you (he already knows).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 02:40 PM
6

I was going through a rough period post break-up, reading a lot of self help books, trying to figure out where I went wrong in the relationships since I was always unhappy. I was getting there on my own; figuring out that I wasn't being strict enough with my boundaries and standards, giving too many chances, accepting low effort to match my high effort, etc. but finding this sub has helped me realize what I can do better and that I'm not alone. There are tons of other women out there feeling tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 02:52 PM
37

I have always dated older men. They’ve been pretty disappointing. They don’t want to go out and have fun and they won’t stay up late to fuck you right and they always have that person who broke their heart so they don’t want to give it to you. I’m currently seeing someone 4 years younger than me and a lot of what she’s saying rings true. This guy has listened to what I say I want and has responded accordingly every time. Plus, he’s cute as hell. It’s still early in the game but I’m feeling like …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 06:23 PM
10

I haven’t shaved my pubic hair since high school. I honestly didn’t know it was still a popular thing until I reentered the dating world as I have never watched porn. That being said, I know some of the guys that I have slept with used porn pretty regularly, not one said a thing about going down on my full bush. I don’t care what they want in regards to it. I am not interested in looking prepubescent for anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 02:50 PM
8

I know most people wouldn’t believe that my ex got abusive with me. It was a huge shock to me as well. One of the reasons I married him was because he was a gentle Buddhist, who would take spiders outside because he couldn’t stand killing them. I always go for less manly seeming men because of previous trauma. Years of never touching me then I got pregnant and had a baby and I was pushed, had things thrown at me, had walls punched in, etc. You never know who might hurt you even if they’d never h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 02:40 PM
61

Yes! I was just talking about this. I actually whispered to my daughter in the theater, “that’s a good boyfriend”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 02:23 AM
43

I've had men get straight up pissy when I've told them I'd like them to do something differently. I've even tried waiting until after sex to give feed back as to not mess with the flow. Nope, still a piss baby. I communicate what I want, they just hate listening or being told they could do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 04:30 AM
16

I read a lot of those comments calling you crazy and selfish and I just want you to know you aren’t alone in deciding to have a baby on your own. I am also looking into doing this in the next 3 years. I already have one child but I’d really like another so my daughter isn’t an only child. I realized a lot of my being so lenient with men in the past was because my ticking biological clock and feeling so desperate to find a partner before it’s too late. I’m still looking for a good man to potentia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 09:09 PM
51

The being nice and getting nice in return thing is something I have struggled with learning. I have always treated men how I want to be treated (following the golden rule like we are taught) but that's not how things with men work. I've adapted the mirroring method now. It is against my nature, as a person who loves showering people with my time, gifts, and affection, but it has helped me from feeling like I'm never being matched.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 04:31 PM
2

I’ve dated several men (most without kids of their own) and not one had a problem with my kid. If they see her as a burden or something that they have to “deal with” then they aren’t high value in my book anyway. We create our own standards, mine is seeing my child a plus and not a negative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/19 10:27 PM
12

And they know that the bar is set low by their brethren! That's why the majority of men's dating profiles are "I have a job, I have a car, and I own a house". Those are not accomplishments to brag about, that's the basic survival package, I need deluxe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 06:35 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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