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waffleznstuff30 Archive

View 0 posts and 2,591 comments by waffleznstuff30 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

4? He looks like just a dude?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:43 PM
–

Men who aren't being pumped with manosphere/pilled talking points and chronically online tend to be normal and adjusted.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:16 PM
1

Not really. You can't tell people what they like or what they should like? It's stupid and a fruitless endeavor. The only thing therapy could help with is accepting/ being open to relationships. Because our past patterns dictate how we attach and have relationships. So if you like "unavailable" people. Or find fault in people who are interested in you. Like everything you want but you will find out why you shouldn't be with them. Therapy maybe good. But what you find attractive and interested in…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 09:42 PM
–

I am not religious. I don't want children. A die hard who wants to have babies Christian would be a dealbreaker for me. We would have a lot of friction in the relationship. Due to religious differences. And reproductive differences. Does this mean every Christian is a bad. Does this mean men who want children are bad? It just means there is a base incompatibility. And they can and should find someone who shares their values. We would be a dead end because those frictions and lack of compatible f…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 01:22 PM
1

I think it exists but it's fringe and not as common as men here make it out to be. Transactional relationships exist. It's shitty. It's usually both people who have a transactional mindset about relationships to begin with. Women do. And men do. Also browbeating women into settling for a guy they don't like because their self esteem is shot. It goes back to guys finding "husband material" insulting. That you wouldn't want them casually but you enjoy spending time with them you enjoy their presen…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 01:19 PM
-1

It very well could be. And you know what that's okay. Most of the time with men and "looks" it's things that are fixable. Better hygiene keeping up with basic health stuff (eating well, skin care, exercise, keeping dental appointments). Styling yourself. Self presentation matters. And I don't think anyone would deny that. It's not "bones" and facial structure. It takes self awareness..women will tell you what they find attractive. But it seems stubbornness or I'll show you or trying to "win" the…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 04:33 PM
0

No. I think men today are better because a lot have become more socially conscious. And the ones that do. End up making amazing partners and aren't the pill weirdos or incels. I think as a man it's a lot easier to be liked for who you are than what you provide. But a lot of men don't work on that first part and cling incessantly to status, money, and muscles being what gets us. I think we are seeing an accountability shift. That behaviors our grandpa's and fathers got away with is not tolerated …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:25 PM
1

Literally never. I can see an attractive dude. And be like wow that's a good looking dude? It usually takes interaction flirting and them actually doing something to turn me on.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 03:58 AM
5

I would disagree. I think modern dating is more difficult because we only hear the negative. The negative on social media/reddit. Men as a collective aren't all red pilled and bitter peepee focused weirdos or scheming fuckboys . Though if you look at social media and reddit you would be apprehensive of men. Much like the message men get about women is we are materialistic, shallow, always looking for the next best thing and scheming on how to clean out a guys bank account and cheat on him with o…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 07:51 PM
4

I've only blocked one user. But it was more of a personal safety thing than a they said something I don't like thing. I haven't been banned and I would talk to the mods about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 05:35 PM
1

It's a not. But I am not keen on facial hair
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 04:10 PM
1

I think being with someone you don't like forever seems a hell of a lot worse. Forever alone you still have friends and family and can lead a pretty full existence without a romantic relationship. Does it hurt sure. But better than being with someone you don't want to be with
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:51 PM
1

why would someone get into a relationship with someone they do not desire? I mean honestly. If I am seeing them all the time. Having sex with them. Kissing them. Holding them. Why logically would I do this with someone I do not desire? And spending more time intimate time with them? Sharing my free time? Doing this for a dude I don't even like. That seems preposterous and like a lot of labor for what.. a whole lot of wasted time and nothing. If you want a relationship with them you desire them t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 04:18 PM
–

I think most women's standards are pretty realistic. And for the most part they are content being single until they meet someone who meets them. You're not looking for all men and options? You want one man. And if they feel like they aren't meeting men who meet these standards they can adjust. It's such an individual thing? The person sharing the "female delusion calculator" is funny because yes I am one person so naturally my pool is small (in my area, my type etc etc) because when you are look…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 04:27 PM
7

Again critical of men in regards to dating and intimate relationships? Is not a civil rights issue. Simply NOT dating men is an option too and opting out. Being very discerning. Protecting yourself by having boundaries and standards for their behavior. Men can exist walk on a sidewalk go to a job and can exist neutrally it's when men try to cross a line. And in regards to the Uber thing? You do realize that there was sexual assault from male drivers to female passengers. Again why are we blaming…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 01:19 PM
3

I'm going out on a limb here and saying dating apps are the problem because people like this exist on the app. I think it brings out the worst in everyone. Men become desperate swipe more to try and get matches. As a result the app will put their profile lower and lower and they aren't as exposed to many people. And also try to push for paid subscriptions. Also men really suck at marketing themselves? Bad photos. Gym mirror selfies. Flipping off the camera. Hat and Sunglasses. The fish pic. Also…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:54 PM
22

Critical and wary of men is not "hating" men. And there are reasons to be wary so it's not like it's out of nowhere. And I have seen having boundaries as being man hating. Not wanting to sleep with them is being seen as man hating. Men themselves have said many things that make us distrustful of them. And our own experiences. Between Red Pill, Pick Up Artistry. Lying to obtain consent. Coercion. Those private thoughts are now out in the open. And instead of you know that favorite word "accountab…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:41 PM
2

I would say most of them? If you are in a relationship? If you are intimate with this person you genuinely desire them? Are there women who get into relationships with ulterior motives sure. But I think it's safe to assume if you are affectionate. And spending time together genuine sexual desire shows up.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 01:03 AM
2

So compatibility? A nice guy that is compatible with you. And yes one may argue attractive is part of the whole compatible thing you don't want to wince at the idea of being physically affectionate towards them or embarrassed because this is someone you are not attracted to what so ever. If you like to travel it would make sense to date someone who likes to travel too. Do you like concerts? It would make sense to date someone who also likes concerts. Do you want kids/not want kids? It would make…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:49 PM
5

I think you overestimate how many "nice men to love you" there are. And that's okay. You don't date men. What if I told you unattractive men can be just as terrible? Will still try and do what "attractive" men do? So you might as well date who you want to date. Why does dating someone you want to date translate to "chad chasing"? I have never understood this. That heaven forbid we also have to choose as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 04:28 PM
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It's an absolute deal breaker for me personally. I don't want kids. I want to be with someone who more or less feels the same. I enjoy the freedom that not having kids grants me. We can go out on a Saturday night and not worry about babysitters. Do things on impulse without having to worry about kids. Also I think the mentality and values would be different. They are a parent I am not a parent. So I can't really relate or begin to understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 03:09 PM
4

You got goth clubs, regular clubs, emo nights, cosplay nights at some places? Show venues. There is a lot of variations of clubs and bars
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:41 PM
2

I don't look at men as a monolith? So I don't care what the collective of men like. I look at an individual guy that I am interested in? Sure. I won't contort myself to be what he likes. But I want to learn about him as we date and who he is. What he likes and what makes him smile.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 01:30 PM
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But who decides these? I really think we are debating subjectivity. What is exceptional about him to me? May not be exceptional to someone else. Because any woman dating their man their man will be exceptional to them for this that or the other reason.. he may not warrant a passing glance to some people but when I see him and saw him it was like whoa. It's really in the eye of the beholder and what that person finds attractive in someone else at the end of the day.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 11:21 PM
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You are not wrong I am into feminine men. And yeah my partner has pretty features he gets called a lady sometimes if we go out. By all metrics though he is of average height. Average income. But I think he's pretty gorgeous
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 10:28 PM
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I think the l "extraordinary" can exist in the ordinary. My partner by all metrics is probably what folks would consider "average"? But I think he's extraordinary and handsome? The "spark" is irrational and unquantifiable. It just exists. And yes it can exist for average dudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 10:08 PM
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I think on average most people go down the middle path? I think the fringe is loudly talked about and represented the most since negativity seems to generate more interest. Like super hot but unfaithful. Or super ugly but pays their way.. because the average is a lot more boring and less scandalous. We do feel a spark with less men it is true I can't tell you what gives me the "spark" it's just there or it's not. It doesn't mean the ones we do are these elusive giga chads with revolving harems. …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 09:21 PM
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For a lot of men here "pump and dump" is a crass way of saying someone only for a casual relationship. They can be a placeholder/starter girlfriend. Someone they don't take seriously. Situationship. The relationship for them is purely about getting consistent sex and validation and not about the other person so disposable in their eyes until someone they see as "better quality" comes around. Frankly it's sociopathic. Pump and dump to me is a drunken one night stand where you high five the next m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 08:19 PM
1

This is such an out of touch and frankly sad way to look at relationships. That there has to be some exchange of goods or transaction going on in order for a relationship to be valid and viable. Do you just ever.... Like someone? Like sitting and losing track of the hours you spend just yapping together. Living life together dirty sweaty post gym store runs? Because it's just something you do together? Going through the motions of life. Shared inside jokes? Like can you coexist with someone with…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 05:12 PM
1

The thing about standards is they are personal to you. What you are looking for it's a template for what you are looking for in someone. Which yes leads to better compatibility because you are filtering for that. And I would argue it leads to better relationships. Because it's said here a lotm A good relationship > being single > a bad relationship. So typically if your standards and discernment are high you will have someone who "good" candidate for you. Again standards are entirely personal? B…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 10:16 PM
2

Average height, skinny goth guy twink with long hair. pretty face no beard, androgynous..
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 04:30 AM
2

I just like them? I am goth alt with a few tattoos too. So I usually check out other goth alternative men with tattoos. Because I know for sure we will have stuff in common?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 04:25 AM
5

I think individuals behavior is widely in their control. You are accountable for your own actions. People tend to be fluid and change and learn as we go through life and acquire new experiences. Some people stay stubbornly locked in and don't have introspection.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 01:57 AM
11

Probably not. This is just entertainment like a zoo or something. Because at the end of the day you could prove every "pill" talking point wrong. It's not going to change someone's mind. It's like Atheist vs. Christian debates.. If someone has a sincerely deeply held belief. (80/20, AF/BB, man's worth is in casual sex) You can have the most logical and sound arguments you could even empathize about why they feel that way. But you won't change their mind unless they want to change themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 05:45 PM
1

Most people aren't hot shit and average statistically? And pair up fine. Average women aren't getting flown to Europe for a luxury date experience. They are likely meeting up at a bar/restaurant and happy if the guy offers to pay? Men may not get head the first date or sexual action but meet someone who makes them happy? And wants to see them again. What is this second rate experience? How do you even know this person had a given someone a better experience before you? When it comes to dating yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:51 PM
1

I undoubtedly believe a lot of negative life experiences have shaped their opinions and worldview. Like this whole subreddit is proof of that. I think in some ways CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy most common practiced therapy) for men like this and women too is useless. You can't reframe or challenge negative thoughts if you have experienced only the negative outcomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:36 PM
1

Being a dating option it's a already small pool? Not everyone is a match for someone. You factor in attraction and compatibility? Maybe because I find the apps to be a complete waste of time. Because you find neither really attractive or compatible. Attraction looks different to different people. I am goth? So an attractive man for me would be alternative, and goth. Does that filter out 6ft frat bro yes? He's not attractive to me. You're not looking at EVERY man. Your looking for what you want f…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:05 PM
2

What are these unnaturally high expectations?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 10:39 AM
1

5'9 maybe 5'10?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 05:09 AM
3

A lot of it is fixable. Self development. Putting yourself in social situations. Gaining social skills. Meeting people. If you don't like something you have the power to change or work on it? Be someone people want to have around. Instead what I notice from a lot of the "unselected" men. Is a lot are so busy self loathing. They are neurotic. Writing elaborate fanfiction about how they are getting Chad's sloppy seconds. How ugly and a miserable they are but not making any actionable changes. They…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 01:32 AM
0

It's entitlement and insecurity. They want the hot shit experience but are not hot shit. And don't have the charisma/social skills and wherewithal to become hot shit. So instead they whine about women online.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 12:47 AM
–

It's kind of common sense no? You want to be physically attracted you are going to be physically intimate with. I think it could seem higher? But I guess everyone's to threshold is a little different. Would you be intimate with and date someone you were physically not into?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 10:57 PM
5

There is no nuance to this what so ever. *Option:A If you build a relationship entirely on chemistry and tingles. It's bound to blow up unceremoniously in your face when the inevitable unattractive parts of your partner show up since the connection is just based upon how hot you find each other. They can be annoying sometimes. Their nonchalance is low key kind of a turn off. Always feeling uncertain about where the connection stands and it becomes more effort than what it's worth. The lack of su…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 07:06 PM
1

I think anywhere as long as it's respectful? And if they aren't interested move it along instead of lingering and making it awkward. You can approach anywhere just learn how to read the room having good social skills helps with this. Most people aren't averse to getting a nice compliment? But when it feels like it comes with terms and conditions. It kinda makes it weird and less unprompted and more like oh you want something. Most people aren't averse to conversation. But when that conversation …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 04:18 PM
–

I am what you would call an avoidant. (Fearful Avoidant) It took a lot of therapy to get me to the self awareness that I have now and understanding about it. When people showed interest in me it was like "eyuck what's wrong with you?!". Because if they liked me there has to be a catch. They are either lying or something is seriously wrong with them. Until I realized it was my own self hatred and I was blocking actual connection. And also had situationships/flings because they were surface level …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 02:25 AM
2

50/50. My man is hot to me. Like I see him and get physical attention from him like his kisses his affection and I enjoy it. He is my type to a T. Long hair, skinny, tatted, no beard. Twinkish and alternative So 50% of my attraction is physical. The other is his inner beauty. He is kind and thoughtful. He is a goofball. I love how he treats me. How sweet he is with animals. His enthusiasm over the little things. His earnest nature. His supportiveness. A lot of things that get to show over time. …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 12:01 AM
7

Well you mentioned women "thinking they deserve to be with a chad". So I mentioned women to your comment. But yes. People typically want to be with someone they find desirable and things in common with. Both men and women should date someone they find attractive and have shared interests with. It kind of goes without saying?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 06:29 PM
13

I feel like the avg man here is a no true Scotsman fallacy. And any man you do not... Notice how I say you do not deem average. . Even if the guy is average by all metrics? I would say most women deserve to be with someone they have mutual desire towards and have things in common with. That should be the foundation of any relationship? You like each other and like to do things together.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 04:27 PM
2

Love isn't shallow. Because love takes time to develop as you go through life with a person. Ideally it changes and grows as you move through it together. Attraction is shallow. Attraction is a precursor to love but attraction in itself is going to be shallow you are going off of nothing about this person besides surface level things. Love develops over time or attraction fades as you get to know the person.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/26 03:43 PM
4

I would argue that a "nice guy" is a lazy guy and selfish guy. It's easy to say "hey I'm not an asshole I won't cheat I stay faithful I don't beat women". Like that's supposed to be the crowning achievement that makes every woman drop their panties in excitement. For him getting the girl (irrelevant to who the woman is because he already wrote the script for her in his mind) is the only thing that matters. Not who the woman is. It's I need this character to fulfill the role in my life. I would s…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:29 PM
0

A guy who just wants to hook up though isn't going to bother wasting his time and your time if you aren't interested in a hook up though. Its a lot more no bullshit and you don't have to message back and forth much. The apps his intentions can be "long term open to short" But really just trying to casually date knowing that most women don't want to just hook up and will not match with them on the apps. The apps are great if you are casually dating seeing what's out there. But if you are trying t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:37 PM
-1

Men treat the dating apps like free sex work/ego boost a lot of men are just browsing and not really wanting to lock anything down. Which okay fine don't lie about it. There are SOME dudes on dating apps that are looking for something more serious yes. But a majority of the time it's going to be free sex work for them. I would say 80% of the people you meet on the apps are looking for something casual and not serious. They just got out of a relationship, they are in a relationship but are gettin…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:13 PM
2

I'm really sorry. Shouldn't be like that. Yeah I don't think the expectation should be cater to me. I think it should be a mutual thing? Which should translate into a relationship how much you give and take. Mutual effort and reciprocity is the biggest thing I think? Most places money is tight. So my partner shouldn't go broke to entertain me. I am equally involved in this we are spending time together? I want to treat him too because it's not about the money spent but who you spend it with.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:08 AM
3

Yes and no. I think most men are put off by the expectation that they have to pay whether or not they liked the date or not. Which I kinda get. Some toxic asshole guys can always pay for a date but still not be as interested it's just a smokescreen. It lulls you into a false sense of security. Because he pays and initiates dates, he must be interested. No he's just throwing money and bored. So you're pretty much a stripper that he shares meals with or gets cocktails with until something new and …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 01:27 PM
7

It depends on what you mean for sympathy? Because yeah dating sucks no getting around it. Man or woman it's a vulnerable position it can be painful its disappointing. It feels like two steps forward and back. It's tiresome and feels hopeless. Being single when you don't want to be sucks for anyone having stagnation in your dating life feeling stuck can feel hopeless and stagnant. Single friends can commiserate over their dating horror stories. The point where sympathy runs dry and it's annoying.…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 06:23 PM
0

It's more the effort than the amount spent? We did a coffee date and strolled through a cemetery? Coffee was like $12 for both of us. And then we strolled through the cemetery which was free. And looked at all the old graves. Heck? Pack a picnic and hang out in a park together? And the catch is you both have to make something you never made before? Like high effort low cost and reciprocal effort. It takes effort and being a little creative.. and kind of having an idea about the person you want t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 05:36 PM
1

Yeah that's what you should be doing while dating? Because I think it's stupid to waste a guys time if you don't like them but they are trying to pursue you. Is actively looking as well and kind of know what you are looking for. Some women can be more flexible some more rigid. What's the point of dating someone if you have to convince yourself to date them? It's not even. A gendered thing, if someone is into you it's easy. You should look for easy. They will make plans they will initiate plans t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 12:20 AM
2

It's being selective, and being discerning and knowing what I am looking for while dating? I can't rationally explain why goth twinks are hot to me, but when I was single that overwhelmingly what I look for. So if a guy who wasn't that approached I wasn't interested? So he doesn't have to waste his time, money or effort because I have an idea of what I want. So there would not even be an opportunity to date or court me because it's not an option. If someone likes you they make it easy to date th…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 11:27 PM
1

I think that is the case unfortunately. So it's seen more as a chore so you can get the possibility of sex. More than actually courting and meeting a.person they would be interested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 11:08 PM
2

It's because you are making sound more as a chore to get something than the pursuit of actually liking someone. Comparing it to some kind of financial trade off and economic thing. Where dating and relationships I would say do not work like that. It's not analytics and numbers and performance reviews. It's feelings and vibes. And I think a lot of men who struggle with dating see it as crunching numbers and stats and figures. When it's a lot more irrational than that. Attraction is irrational. Re…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 11:00 PM
5

Do you guys like the women you are pursuing or courting? It comes off as not liking the woman very much but liking what a woman could mean to you? Like status for pulling a woman so you have a woman shaped thing in your life. The possibility of sexual access. But it doesn't sound like you like the woman much at all. Like who she is a person. The thing that feels special, her scent her smile, what makes her smile. Her strange niche interests. It just sounds like woman shaped thing that I want for…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 09:30 PM
–

This is an odd question let's see if it can answer it? I would say my attraction to someone is initial? So I think they are cute (so looks and style) ? And how I interact with them. If they are fun dorky and it's just a cool time that attraction will become more because I like who they are they are nice to spend time with? Or it can go down. Are they trying too hard? Are they acting like they are the prize if they get my attention instead of just enjoying hanging out do I feel like I am being ap…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:17 PM
6

Because of "consent". It's not flattering to hear I want to put myself inside of you because I have a sexual desire. It would be the same kind of off-putting as a stranger telling you they have to go take a giant crap. Like.... Okay? That's why the thing you are missing is consent and it being relatively mutual.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:06 PM
8

The thing you are dancing around is "consent" When the sexual behavior is reciprocated and mutual it's very nice it's very sexy. When you both are mutually in the heat of the moment. Heck if they do something that you were not even thinking about sex and they do something that turns you on? Where it becomes disgusting is the blatant objectification. The I have sexual desires towards you and you need to do something.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:20 PM
1

Of course it's not my place to police how people relate to one another? If someone is more traditional and wants to be with someone traditional who am I to complain at it. Just because a traditional set up isn't for me. Doesn't mean that someone else shouldn't do it. I just won't be with someone who wants something more traditional. Because I am not very traditional.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 01:20 AM
0

It's this binary thinking that shoots everyone in the foot. Boring = safe Unattractive= loyal Feel Spark/Excitement about them = Unsafe Attractive = Options And in my opinion is really misandrist towards men that men themselves can only appear in this binary and you have to pick between a rock and hard place. That men come in two flavors. Which I would say is hardly the truth. You can enjoy someone's company have fun with them be attracted to them and they aren't automatically a player or whatev…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 04:34 PM
–

I think kill all men is nasty. But dismantling patriarchal systems, we should be killing that. But not men individually no. And a lot of men miss the mark on the man or bear. They get reactionary but they do not listen to the lived experience of women instead default to women hate men not listening to why. Have you been sexualized as a child? Have you berated because you reject someone, they call you horrible names, threaten suicide because you aren't interested in them? Have you had someone mas…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 11:44 PM
–

I don't think it's unprovoked though. I am not saying ALL men. But a lot of women have had negative experiences with men. Men that won't take "no," for an answer and tried to debate and haggle is to why you need to give him a chance. A man who cheats? And somehow it's the woman's fault he cheated "you should have chose better" "this is what you get when you date out of your league". A guy lies about his intentions and strings a woman along just not ready to be tied down but wants access to you. …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 11:35 PM
31

I think it's because a lot of men's inner thoughts about women are being broadcast for the world to see. And because of all the rapid sharing of information the things men used to be able to get away with they can't as much. And when you see the tactics and tricks it really makes a lot of men seem unappealing. It also seems "despise" is just not always catering to men or not giving access and having boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 05:45 PM
2

Why aren't you attracted to men you aren't attracted to? I am into goth twinks. It's just what I think is hot. So I look for that. I found a one. And by all metrics he's probably "average". Fs
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 04:42 PM
1

I think you can do both? Like eating healthy/exercising. Have an active life somewhat. Do do drugs/smoke/drink excessively. Good skincare don't tan!!!! Keep up with check ups/dental cleanings. And typically if you do this you're setting yourself up to live longer and look good.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 02:59 AM
12

It doesn't work like that? I don't really know what to say. Edit: I was too freaking tired to give this a full response. Because it just comes off as "WHY DON'T YOU LIKE MEEEEE!!!!!!" Most women statistically are with "average" men. We aren't all out here dating celebrity billionaire influencers. Most of us are with average men. That average man is incredible to us? That average guy will be lusted over if he has the qualities we are looking for in a man. AND men by and large women as well by and…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:48 AM
0

I would agree. But I also think attraction can grow when familiarity comes? So say you go to a book club every week and then the book club goes out to lunch and you do this every other week. You get to know the people in the book club. Same with work school or what have you. So I would say it's neutral. But when someone finds you attractive they find you attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 05:03 AM
–

No. Men are most certainly allowed preferences as well. Don't date someone who you aren't into
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 10:55 PM
–

Isn't that what dating is? Is finding a compatible match with you. You're not owed interest because you are interested. Compatibility is thing. I don't even think it's social media. Standards are just individual preferences. I want a guy with a nice smile. So guys with busted or missing teeth are out. I have a nice smile as well. So is that asking for too much? I don't like facial hair so I eliminate a lot of my dating pool. When it comes to choosing a partner you should be picky. You know "choo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 04:31 PM
1

A lot of that self validation and worth has to come from within. As stupid and cliche as it is "just believe in yourself". And a lot of these men subconsciously reject their own chances of success by self sabotage. Because a lot of them are comfortable with wallowing in misery. Anything that may contradict their misery is uncomfortable. Another person the experience is nice m. But it's not their responsibility to manage my emotional state and how I see myself. That's a lot to put on a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 04:18 AM
6

If your self worth/and validation come from someone else. You're going to have a bad time. Maybe try therapy work on your ego. My boyfriend is definitely infinitely more attractive than the men I have had flings with.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 08:24 PM
1

I think attractive to you goes without saying. I think most people outside of PPD or the Internet dating discourse bubble will agree people pair up with people they find attractive. And when you find someone attractive you tend to overlook potential dealbreakers at first? And as you spend time getting to know them and then their negative qualities come out they are actually an asshole. They are making you chase. They are noncommittal. These are things you figure out as you get to know someone. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 05:51 PM
–

You don't really know. That's the cold hard truth. You can use best guess or judgement. Some men will take a whole relationship for months and then just drop things when they think "better" has come. And this is years of being half in half out and performing as a boyfriend. I would say consistency, time and effort. There's really no foolproof method though because these can be faked too.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:02 PM
–

Evil for what exactly. Autonomy....? Being able to self determine who they want to be with sexually/romantically? Or even if they WANT to be sexually or romantically with someone maybe they have other ambitions and a man isn't part of that agenda. Because women are people. If you have an issue with autonomy sir... You are the evil one. That someone's desires and ambitions are secondary and should be there to serve and play a role in your life regardless of what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 01:33 PM
9

I think discernment is mostly personal. My boyfriend has a neck tattoo and visible hand tattoos. And wears leather and is all gothed out. But has the kindest most teddy bear heart. He is also very emotionally expressive. Some people may see the visible tattoos and be like no thanks. I have visible tattoos as well. I'm building a sleeve of patchwork tattoos from my travels. And see him gushing about his feelings as lovebombing. But he makes me feel safe, happy, I don't feel like I am being apprai…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 04:29 PM
1

Nope. My body and my desire aren't charity for a lonely man to feel better about himself. This just sounds like coercive control. "If you don't reciprocate interest in me I am going to kill myself" - which incidentally was something that happened. I gave them the suicide prevention line number? And reported them. I would say therapy/medication. Instead of coercing and begging an uninterested woman into being interested. They had a whole movie about this kind of thing it was a horror movie. 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:21 PM
1

It's rare but not impossible.... Mutual attraction and desire is an awesome thing. We are each other's type. I think more people just need to go outside and do things you like. You are bound to meet more people aligned to you more so than dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 11:41 PM
1

I think it does? I got my Gomez to my Morticia. People shouldn't date people they aren't attracted to. If they are not attracted to them no amount of good behavior and promises will make them desirable. If the idea of going to bed with someone made you flaccid. You obviously wouldn't date that person or have relations with them. Women are the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:48 PM
-3

Again... Just because he thinks that is his looksmatch doesn't mean she thinks he is hers. And that's where looksmatch falls flat. Because it's just entitlement packaged as being fair? Because attraction isn't "you ought to find this attractive" it's completely subjective. So there's no heirarchal looksmatch analysis thing? It's not really hypergamy. People want to date people they find desirable?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:43 PM
-3

That IS entitlement. That they are somehow the sole appraisers of a woman's worth. So their "looksmatch" may not even be their looksmatch. Because according to who? If she is getting attention from "Chad" (I hate that term so much so many issues with that one) and she finds that man more desirable why would she date some guy who determined that woman was his looksmatch. The whole thing is entitlement wrapped up in some kind of just world thing. It doesn't work like that. It's not some video game…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:46 PM
-2

Attraction doesn't have morality. It's simply preferences. People have preferences for what they want to date and have sex with. If you pick a certain brand of pasta but don't pick the other one are you being amoral? People's deciding factors are their own. The person not being selected isn't flawed its just that they weren't what that person was looking for. Now where it does become an issue. And where it becomes a problem. Is men's entitlement to someone's attraction. That's where the unselect…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 04:25 PM
-1

A lot of of these guys have bad experiences or constant rejections. And that negativity has warped their worldview. They don't have real life evidence to counter their claims and listen and read and watch things that affirm their biases. So of course happy, loyal, and healthy not power dynamic/ transactional romance exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:24 PM
2

100% agree. All the chad talk is definitely black pill
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 12:52 AM
1

No it's really not. Now if you going for self improvement will find me love. It's going to feel useless. Or that you have to be some mystical healed version of yourself to be worthy of love. Then you're going to have a bad time. I think working on yourself is a constant life pursuit. Not that you are flawed but the most important relationship you can have is the one with yourself. It means being aware of your patterns, and things that may block the kind of connection you are craving because you …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 04:58 PM
1

It's kinda funny I live in a very ethnically mixed area. (So Cal). So seeing mixed couples is totally a thing over here?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 08:33 PM
1

Women don't really like dating apps.... Not all women some like them. We may have access to them and it's an option but it's not a very appealing option. And its quantity over quality most of the time. So sure you get a lot of hits for attention but is it necessarily "good" attention. The average women's experience is sure a lot of matches. But out of those matches you have to figure out who is interested in actually dating and who just wants to sleep with you. So assuming 10 matches over a mont…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 08:23 PM
0

I think so. These are the same men that think being kind or desirable to a woman is extending more effort than what it's worth and then mad they have nothing to show for it. I don't think a majority of the unsuccessful men in PPD make up the general populous of men in general most men are doing just fine. I think they just like to project their shortcomings on men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 06:25 PM
3

You must be a blast at parties. Anyways jokes aside. Assortative mating is a thing most people there are outliers who will pair off with someone for utilities but most people pair off with someone they find attractive. Most women here are down bad about their men they think they are hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 07:51 PM
2

They most certainly are. My friends dude is exactly her type. My boyfriend is my type. People pair off with people they find attractive. Because people's tastes differ. I don't think settling is as common as you would like to think
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 07:17 PM
4

To whom? Ugly to whom? So let's go with my friends and I our types do not intersect at all. So a guy I am down bad for and super attracted to my friend would be like ew. And a guy my friend thinks is big I am like no thanks. It's all really subjective on what ugly is. I find beards really ugly... Some women love a man with a nice beard. You shouldn't be with someone you're not attracted to it's a recipe for disaster. There's resentment. There's a lack of connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 06:20 PM
0

No? I don't think that's settling. Because you can have sexual/romantic chemistry with someone and not have to lower your bar.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 04:36 PM
2

Very relevant. Most people fall into that middle category. But they don't want to hear that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 04:35 PM
3

If you use dating apps sure. I think women are WAY more selective on dating apps. Because the gender ratio is like 70% men to 30% women. So naturally women are going to be pickier with the apps. I personally find the dates to be boring or a general lack of chemistry. It feels forced, on both ends. You are trying to generate romance/passion and you are meeting once over drinks. They have a few nice photos and maybe an interesting bio I personally think meeting up in person is better? There's more…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 04:35 PM
11

Sex sells If your career performance and livelihood is dependent on your relevancy. You usually have to kind of resort to things for cheap attention. Someone will be talking more about WAP from Cardi B. And it will be more relevant because it's either good or bad press it's provocative. Than a nice girl with a pretty voice singing about a boy she likes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 04:28 PM
2

I think it would be interesting to see these hardcore believers of "looksmatch" who believe women are delusional and don't pair off with their match and only pursue this legendary elusive top tier men who are way too good for her! Looking at people who are coupled up and if they match or don't. It would be interesting because I think the main idea is most people date people similar to them. So similar socioeconomic status. Similar looks. Similar culture. There are outliers but it's not the norm.…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 01:34 PM
0

even before I went on both I still have a specific type? I don't think the medicines changed anything? It's a convenient scapegoat. There is just some men we find attractive some men we don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 12:14 AM
0

I'm on both HBC and SSRIs. And I find my man absolutely sexy? I know what I find attractive if that makes sense so I look for men who have those qualities?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 04:23 PM
–

We got coffee and played in a cemetery for one of our dates. You just have to know who the person you are dating is.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:38 AM
3

It's not really hypergamy? You want someone who meets your standards not just any man will do because they are a man? Like if you are selecting a partner you are looking for things like compatibility/attraction long term goals shared values. Why should you settle for someone less or someone who isn't what you are looking for? It's kinda unfair to both of you. Do you not have standards or preferences?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 01:14 AM
8

I think the concept of decentering isn't sexist. Because we have gotten so wrapped in dating dynamics. Over giving to keep someone. Over giving to try and win favor. That we lose track of ourselves in the pursuit of finding a relationship. Playing a character so the other person can acquiesce to our desires. Be coy. Don't be too interested. Don't be easy. Throw a guy a bone. At some point what is it YOU want? I think that's the take away of the decentering conversation. Is what feels true to you…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 07:12 PM
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I don't think romance is dying. Yes sadly there are a lot of manipulative/validation seeking people and a majority are. So you will meet a lot of duds/time wasters. People who aren't interested. People you are not interested. And sadly because of social media/dating apps. The need for instant gratification on both sides. The discomfort with ambiguity to try and secure an outcome. Treating love and sex like some kind of strategy game and power struggle than connection. That when you do meet someo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 02:18 PM
4

I don't really think the dating market is THAT bad. It does suck, it has always kind of sucked it's nothing new. Romantic relationships have been a source of inspiration and motivation, to heartbreak and anguish. If it works out and things go well it's the highest high dopamine is off the charts. And if it doesnt pan out things fall through it's the lowest low rejection poor self image and negative thoughts. For as long as we have existed, literature, mythology, music, and the arts. It's been a …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:21 AM
2

I just get it from just my experiences and living. I think I got a look into into the damaged thinking of red pill/manosphere crap. It's like hearing a flat earther/anti vax person how they have so much confidence but are extremely wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 11:11 PM
4

How do you propose equality in dating? Pray tell. Because when it comes to dating it will be "unfair". You can't control how another person feels about you. You can't control what people find attractive/unattractive. You can't put two people together and be like now kiss. Dating is always going to be unfair because it's a matter of feelings and feelings can be unfair.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 05:44 PM
2

It's innate There are we happy now. Like we are going to have to be attracted to the person first and foremost. No amount of status or money can make someone attractive if you don't find them attractive. This isn't a dirty secret. But you will assign more positive qualities with people you find attractive than people you don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:43 AM
5

Early on in dating sure. Because you are intentionally dating them. I think it's something you kinda gradually work into as you get to know them. And that subtle escalation is kind of hot in my opinion you kinda give yourself time to really begin to anticipate and that desire kinda grows as things naturally escalate.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 04:22 PM
2

I agree with this. I think a lot of this stuff is entirely subjective. And people try to paint it as objective and it's societal ills. It will not go anywhere because people's concept of attractive and valuable traits in someone is different. My "10" is probably different than another persons. It's all up to what people like. Sometimes.... Someone you may like may not like you enough? And that gets them out of the way so you can find someone who does. And the concept of a "high value" person jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 05:47 PM
1

It's that woman's idea of "mid".... And likely to they woman who is dating that mid guy she thinks he is super hot. It's almost like reliability and compatibility can make someone even hotter? And he is likely her type to begin with. Even if another woman says that guy is "mid". Me and my friends all have differing types. My friend's man is a big buff bald guy that kinda looks like The Rock. I don't get it. But she's happy and he's good to her. My partner is string bean skinny, long hair tattooe…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:30 PM
2

The concept of "looksmatch" is fundamentally flawed. Who determines who's match or what appropriate range someone should date to secure success and an LTR? Like who decides who is a 6 or a 2 or a 10? Also forgetting things like relatability, "types", and compatibility. Some hunky gym bros like chunky women. Some women like dad bods and find hairy bear men super attractive. So the whole concept of women not wanting their looksmatch doesn't really check out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 01:29 PM
1

If he's looking? Maybe a date a month? If he's not looking maybe a date once every few months?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 09:33 PM
26

I think because their resentment does come from rape culture and men who at some level feel entitled to access and sex. That their social status, self worth, and identity as a man comes from being able to have sex with women. Listen to how many men here harp on about how women should just lower their standards so men who don't meet them can have a chance too or be considered. Men who don't have such problems and have positive interactions with women. Are not out here trying to master strategize …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 01:21 PM
3

My boyfriend is hot to me like my type to a T. I wouldn't be in a relationship or date a guy I find physically unattractive no matter how good he is to me or how much money he provides that sounds like prostitution with extra steps and ignoring my own desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 02:58 PM
–

You can court someone with out a lot of money and if your strategy is throwing money at women that may be working against you? It's the principle of time and matched effort? Shit me and my partner had a coffee and cemetery date? No really big money but we both like macabre/dark things. Its shared time together and intention being spooky skipping through an old graveyard together. Heck I get the concert tickets someone gets the beer and we pregame in the car and then go to the show. These isn't b…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:38 AM
–

Courted we want to be courted. I want to know the guy I am going to date kinda cares? Or is interested in me outside of just sleeping with me. Usually means showing up and putting in effort? Because you do that for someone you like? I want to know this man I am dating likes me. That stuff is irrelevant? Some women do. I personally never cared about a man's income. Its how they show up and enjoying their company.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 03:29 AM
–

Basic empathy/consideration/and communication is considered a lot of effort? I think most women would just like that as a baseline for dating this is free mind you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 02:10 AM
–

It's not really a money thing. It is an investment thing. (Time and effort) They expect your devotion, your interest, your admiration, your body your exclusivity. But feel like they don't have to give anything back like commit, show up, stay consistent. They want access without accountability so if they do something heinous. Well it wasn't that serious I said I didn't want a relationship while constantly trying to test the boundaries and keep it just ambiguous enough because if you treated them …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 01:19 AM
–

A lot of noncommittal/ not serious men. They want all the relationship benefits without wanting to commit and not taking it seriously. But they conveniently leave it out until you went on enough dates and talked a bit. To come out with it once you have invested time and there has been some consistency. "Oh I know we have been talking every day and I opened up to you and what not...but I don't want a relationship I don't want to waste your time sorry". You did JUST that!!! (And before you're dati…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:05 PM
2

Is it really desiring women? If it's just wanting sex with women? A lot of guys want to have sex with women. But don't actually like the women. It's said here ad nauseum that men will lower their standards for casual sex, and have higher standards for relationships? Women are picky, we are going to be picky. We also don't have sex on our brains 24/7. Yes because orgasms are on your body sex is a bodily sensation. The pleasure is orgasms and orgasming together and enjoying that passion together? …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:20 PM
2

Most men aren't super lonely terminally online whinging about dating app stats or black pilled/Red pilled. Most men are just guys living their life. A lot of men I know are coupled off happily I MAY add. Others are single but going through what most people go through dating. They aren't desperate for a crumb of coochie because no one wants them. They have standards too. And that is the thing men want to BANG women doesn't mean they like us or feel attraction besides just wanting a physical relea…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:35 PM
1

I think it's normal to not find many people attractive? You are unique? And each person's taste is individualistic. The world isn't tailored to what I find attractive (goth/alt, androgynous, long haired, no beard guys) . I wouldn't say ALL men. Because guys have preferences and tastes and aren't deprived sex hungry fiends. I will admit my standards are really high? But narrowing my dating pool to most compatible and men I am attracted to is ultimately better for something long term? Or it shows …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:34 PM
–

I would like if my SO went with me and he probably will too. Maybe because I am in a different scene? I go to goth clubs? So it's fun to get to dress crazy and dance to music I actually like. And just make friends with others in the scene I have made a lot of friends at goth nights and we will go to shows together.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:45 PM
3

I would say I probably find a guy attractive once or twice a year? Like head turning, "ooh" so for me it's like 95/5. I also think it's not normal to find many people attractive? It's a treat when you do (dopamine is released what not) most dudes are kinda neutral and don't grab my attention. And height really isn't a thing for me personally? Unless it's WAY short I am 5'8 so a guy who is 5'5/5'8 is perfectly fine. Dating apps I can't really go off of it. Because it's a photo and a prompt I can'…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:37 PM
8

I like men. I just don't find every man attractive. And because I have a niche on what I find attractive. I am not attracted to a lot of men because they aren't in that niche. Therefore not cute to me. I am not gay I am very straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 07:54 PM
1

It depends on the context. If a guy comes out and says "a woman I really cared about cheated on me and left me for someone else" and women were going "yes queen" I would totally disagree with that and think that's an example of a shitty person. I wouldn't bandwagon with women cheering on cruel behavior. And feel sorry for the guy because that's not okay. A guy who claims women only want him for free dinners/drinks I am going to assume the guy may be the problem. Either the date is like a job int…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:31 PM
1

You can hate the behavior of men? And not hate an individual man. There's a lot of bad behavior that's normalized in male spaces or excused or justified by...OTHER men. When you hear "men suck" are you part of that portion of sucky men? Are you being emotionally abusive? Are you objectifying and leering at women? Do you treat relationships as a means to end for sex but really couldn't care about the woman you have a relationship with? Are you placing your own emotional needs above the needs of y…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:06 PM
1

The thing is, "nice" is kinda the default setting. Everyone is nice or pleasant to some degree. Even the most diabolical fuckboy/softboy they are initially nice before the gig is up and they switch up. Nice isn't a way to vet. It's like saying buy the car it starts? But it's not the car you are looking for. It's not the make or model. I want a hatchback cross over and you are trying to sell me an F150. If you are basing your entire romantic thing on just being nice you are going to have a bad ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:28 PM
2

That's kind of odd. I feel like it's better than the apps you get more of a read and vibe if you hang out enjoy each other's company it's easier to I feel begin dating. Than meeting a whole ass stranger you have had a few text conversations with. I guess I have had my success with meeting in shared hobby spaces. I used to cosplay so cons were a great way to meet. Also concerts because you both like one of the bands playing. Events. Because you are in roughly in the same community. I also think i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 04:29 PM
3

But they do? It's a shared space you have stuff in common. I am goth. So I go to a lot of goth events. You're going to have something in common with the men who are going too. If someone approaches respectfully and we just banter the night away and dance together. Doesn't try to isolate me from my friends or my experience at the event and has fun with me through the night? That guy will get a date with me. If you are standing around leering at women. And not really participating in the night. It…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 01:31 PM
12

In shared spaces like concerts/events/bars. It's so much easier to interact and be social
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:52 AM
–

PUA. Is a lot more manipulative than that. Sure someone can lie about things. I have a good job works at Burger King and eventually the lies come out. But most of the time it's dread game, the man is the prize mentality, negging, and power dynamics. You are literally manipulating someone. It's not really lying if you are doing things to better accentuate your features or draw attention from negative features. That's not manipulation. If you find someone unattractive it's a visual thing. You will…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 07:41 PM
–

I think because men who are unsuccessful/unselected grossly exaggerate the attractive qualities about men who do get access. Paired with a seething entitlement, which a lot of unselected men seem to have. And the idea that a woman has preferences for men she wants is some kind of punishable offense because it bars them from access. Which is silly, because even a hypothetical situation where anonymous people online saying they have a preference for (whatever). It must be the most exceptional exam…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 12:23 PM
–

I wouldn't say "ugly". Just unattractive not my type not for me but I wouldn't want to kiss them or be intimate. I have a niche of what I find attractive and most guys don't meet that niche? I know how I feel when I am attracted. And I am most of the time not attracted to many guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 01:05 AM
1

No. even if you don't have the best bone structure. There are ways to compliment your face. And to the original point it's not manipulation like Red Pill and PUA. Tactics The difference. If you go on a date realize oh wow they are not as attractive as I thought they were. End it. Move along? Also that much make up to even "fake" bone structure is obvious in different lighting. I modeled in a studio. And the make up they use in a studio is vastly different from make up used in every day settings …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 05:27 PM
1

You can frame your hair to flatter your face? I don't think people are sitting there with rulers analyzing your facial measurements to determine if you have good bone structure. You kind of work with what you got and typically if a woman is attractive with make up on she's attractive with it off as well make up isn't a make or break kind of thing. Maybe as women we have an advantage because we learned how to optimize our appearance from a young age. Even before make up. How we styled. How our ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 05:06 PM
1

Because you can't win in their hypothetical! It's your punishment and their thing to lord over you. Because people can't have happy relationships to lonely bitter men. It's always some transactional crap. And you'll see a lot of that here in PPD. You date the man you find attractive. And they will have something to say. "He's out of your league" "you're just a pump and dump why would he want you attractive men lower their standards for sex" "he has a million other women in tow and is going to ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 06:02 AM
2

I think a general understanding of what you are working with and how to best work with your features to make you more physically attractive is all?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 03:45 AM
8

I've seen the Chinese make up with the rubber prosthetics and stuff. And that is crazy work! I don't think your average woman is putting on a fake nose and chin to go out.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 03:43 AM
9

Looking nice is apparently manipulating them?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 11:39 PM
9

You can't fake good bone structure.... So even if you wash your make up off the difference isn't that jarring what do you mean you don't have glittery eyelids you lying harlot. I don't really get where you are going with this point? This isn't quite the gotcha you think it is. Now for PUA/RP that is manipulation. That is emotional abuse and power dynamic play and not so much about connecting. These two are not the same
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 11:37 PM
0

If wanting a partner that you are both interested in and attracted to is a dating woe? And not any man will make the cut
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 06:43 PM
2

See I would beg to differ. I don't think of dating inherently as a marketplace human connection is so much more nuanced. But for arguments sake let's say there is a sexual marketplace that you either have negative or positive value and like a marketplace you have liberties to buy. So it can be something niche or something in high demand. And this is where men and TRP guys get it wrong. Every man will move the goalpost, if you can attract a man you find attractive which I would say it means they …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 01:25 PM
1

Oh definitely if gift giving is hers. You can tell it's buy me stuff. personally I think acts of service or words of affirmation for me personally. If someone remembers a small detail about me I'm smitten.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 01:11 PM
6

It's usually a red flag on dating sites because it's code word for trying to get closer to sex. So you can assume if you go on a first date with this guy he's going to try and shove his tongue down your throat. And try to cop a feel because physical touch is his love language.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:59 PM
14

Who rates value? who is the arbiter of self worth that we have to answer to? Did I miss the memo. Because people's opinions of someone are subjective. And really it only matters between those two people? The nuance that happens in that is their responsibility. And not to "no u" but I am going to. Have you met men? Have you dated men? Men overrate themselves a lot. Shoot their shot at a hot woman she rejected and it becomes their villain origin story. Or try to date a woman they deem as beneath t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 04:45 PM
1

"Well, women being delusional about their prospects is kind of a societal ill. Not merely having preferences but how those preferences play out" How is this a societal ill? The only ones they hurt are themselves or significantly reduce their options which in dating is a good thing if you are looking for monogamous partnership. "I will only date a man with a lucrative career in finance" but they live in a blue collar Midwest town? People will have preferences while dating whether or NOT someone t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 01:06 PM
7

But the thing is men ARE mad about women having standards. And Red Pill really emphasizes that. Anger phase is a thing. Men feel contempt that women have standards and choose. Think about how the goalpost will always move. A woman says she has attracted a man of her interest. Did he pump and dump? Is he your boyfriend now? Are you guys married? And if he doesn't follow through with one of these obviously the woman was asking for too much. Like they decide if you the woman are worthy of being wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 06:01 PM
8

Because RP observations make sweeping moral and character judgments about women and it does come off as control. Average woman pairs up with a guy that RP deems as more worthy than her she is primed to be pumped and dumped. He couldn't take someone like her seriously!! Below average guy gets a stunning girlfriend? Betabux!!! He's getting Chad's sloppy seconds. Like you literally cannot win or people can't genuinely love each other. It must be miserable. Not to mention framing women's preferences…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 03:40 PM
0

Or maybe... Just maybe there some socialization issue with men. Entitlement to time/affection just because you are interested in them. And when rejected or not interested have a ego meltdown. (You're ugly anyways!!!! No one will want you anyways I was being nice). When it was simply they were not interested. Lack of empathy/compassion. Being used or strung along hurts. If you're not interested in someone but they are interested in you. You do not keep them around. The compassionate and good thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 06:52 PM
5

If he doesn't know how to relate to women? He won't be able to relate with you? This should be obvious. The personality won't click you can't be interest and intrigue with someone who is a bump on a log. And I believe you can be emotionally engaging and interested and not be an asshole or disloyal.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:11 PM
–

I think it's true for the most part we some of us have a precision point for what we like. While others are a bit more flexible. I think also as women, we have a lot more to sift through and have experience on what we like (I am not saying sexually just going on a date) . So we kind of develop our specific niche as we have navigated the dating pool since if you are a woman there will be a dude who will try. We have dated the guy who wasn't our "type" and it ended badly because he wasn't our type…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:04 PM
3

This heavy dependence on outcome? "If I do this I should get this" instead of treating dating like information gathering. Its I did this why won't this happen and then some broad universal statement "it's because I'm not.xyz" like expecting sex on the first date, as a sign she is really into you and if not she is playing games and withholding. Or unnecessary pressure on something new instead of letting it pan out. Not knowing when to lean in and when to back off. So if someone is clearly not int…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:24 AM
2

Same!!!! This 100%
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:40 AM
3

If I am dating/fucking them they obviously passed some sort of base level attraction or chemistry. Or intrigue. It to me is about vibes and emotionally where I am at?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 06:10 PM
9

It doesn't. It's like seeing a nice work of art. You can appreciate it and that's that. I need to interact with them to get sexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 05:19 PM
1

Yeah I think so as you get to know someone. I think putting people in a box right away is kind of lame. You have to get to know someone they are a blank slate. You could be short term and then something clicks. And surprise you are dating and really compatible. And also you could be dating for something long term. You don't have a lot of compatibility. Maybe some sexual tension? Attraction is there. But you both have different values. Then it can be a short term fun thing but you both know you a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 05:17 PM
7

It's not some hidden dirty secret. If you are entering an intimate relationship with someone. You are probably attracted to their looks if you aren't you're not in the right relationship? You will think they are hot not objectively hot to some invisible panel of women. But hot to you. That's the part that gets missed or lost in translation? Is the subjectivity of it. Some women think tall guys are sexy. Me and my friend have two distinctly different types we are both goth alt women. My friend li…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 08:44 PM
6

Yeah 1 and 2. I can hang out with people and enjoy their company and not be attracted but to fully rope me in and be like I am hanging out with you the whole night I need 1 and 2
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:58 PM
2

Because it's a shitshow and so many misconceptions. I would eventually like a relationship with someone compatible and hot. But I am in no rush to tie myself to a man. Just because he chose me and saw me as commitment material. I can center myself. Enjoy my single life. Have fun. I am doing a runway fashion show. Traveling the world. Going to shows. A man is the least of my worries.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:55 PM
5

I'll bite and be honest. Looks. Does he grab my attention do I like how he is dressed. Aesthetically is he appealing to me. The way they are dressed if they are wearing a band shirt I like. Does their hair look nice. Do they not have a beard? Shared interests. Like we meet at a show I can assume we are into the same music subculture. So we are both enjoying this thing and have that in common. Vibe. Like is he like talking to a brick wall. Or can we chat the whole night. Like do I enjoy having th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:43 PM
-1

The thing is.... It's kind of like confirmation bias. A man is unsuccessful in dating. So the red pill/manosphere confirms the things he already is insecure about. "$$$" "looks" "frame" whatever. So he digs into the manosphere content because his bias leans more negative about dating and women. Which makes them more undatable and neurotic. Because they all parrot and say the same thing in just different variations. If a guy that looks exactly like him had success while dating and in the same soc…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:30 PM
1

Because you aren't going to hear about a normal not problematic guy? He is in a relationship. Maybe they broke up but it was clean and both parties understood why it ended. This isn't going to be sensationalized and dragged through social media gender discourse. Normal guys are in relationships. Normal guys are dating. Toxic guys get more representation. Because a really bad experience will get more engagement. It's like why the news shares tragic events ad nauseam and constantly cycle sensation…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 01:07 PM
–

Maybe I am? I don't know.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 10:47 PM
6

I do I make myself more available. I will throw out date ideas and meet ups. I go 50/50 because it's not about how much they spend on me. But the time we spend together. I will text first.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 06:18 PM
1

Because it's usually the man's fault. If you meet someone and have the best intentions show up wanting to connect and he takes advantage of that knowing full well he doesn't want to take you seriously. Basically want to love someone and you show up earnestly and genuinely in that connection and the guy plays you (women do this to men too). How is that the woman's fault. It's the man's bad behavior? And sadly it's very common in today's dating space. And it burns enough people that they become ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 03:00 PM
0

tbh it gets hard to differentiate this from just losing interest and dumping you no matter the gender or sex... this includes divorces if we look at the current statistics vetting never ends as it seems but how we define vetting or tackle it and when is it considered justified to end a contact/relationship... I think so. I think in context of losing interest/break up I think usually a conversation happens or making it known. I think a lot of people like the idea of relationships more than they l…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 09:06 AM
0

It goes with the whole "pick better" thing. If you are vetting and getting to know someone? And they have insecurities which have caused you problems in the past. (Having a controlling ex boyfriend you may be put off by that I'm giving a loose example for context) If you meet someone who is insecure about you going out with your friends and blows your phone up. That would be off putting. If a guy is like I am ugly... No one likes me or no one liked me because I was ugly that would be off-putting…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:50 AM
0

Who knows. It can be a month. It can be a year. But that shift happens a month is whatever okay. He was chasing feelings and wasn't intentional. Sometimes a year. That is real too and can mask for some time until it all comes bubbling up. I would say dating is a constant game of committal chicken. Women with a high body count don't announce it. A lot of women who have had casual relationships can settle into a normal relationship and no one would know.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:26 AM
-1

I mentioned how someone insecure and lacking poor social skills can be off putting. And that gives off a bad personality. I'm not saying "they are all bad" some insecure men can be bad and will most certainly take out their issues with themselves out on you. In forms of control, criticism, and projection. These men also seem to hate boundaries. It's the guy that over gives and feels hurt or put off by not returning affections you literally just met. (Constantly texting. Constantly seeking your a…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:16 AM
1

There are legitimate criticisms to be had about women. I won't disagree. Women are just as capable of lying/manipulating/using men. And yeah that kind of behavior should be called out. And I think most women agree. There are vindictive and cruel women out there. Also women who have a transactional mindset as promoted by tiktok about money and princess treatment. It's the same kind of crap that red pilled/PUA promote. However a lot of the criticisms that get labeled as woman hating shit. Is I fee…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:07 AM
0

I was clarifying because you said women can smell a bad personality. That was the tells. Insecure/socially inept men tend to be off putting.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 07:31 AM
-6

How do I phrase this delicately. Assholes or more socially advantaged men don't come out with their asshole behavior. They are usually pleasant and good enough. And realistically "good enough" works. He's not doing the most it's appropriate it's good it's realistic. Then the shift happens. And you're like what was that about. Socially inept men or the negative behavior we spot. Is usually a guy who is performative. Speaks in broad generalizations about women. Will parrot some online thing or unc…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 09:47 PM
5

You're going to hate my answer. There's no "right" answer or right strategy unfortunately. Because everyone is different. There are sweeping generalizations that may or may not apply to you. "Be more social" "work on your aesthetics" "try dating apps". But in reality you can't control the outcome because it relies heavily on another person. And you can't control what other people do or think. Some people meet their partner at an airport bar in between catching flights. Some people meet their par…
/r/ExRedPill01/04/26 04:13 PM
5

Because there is the chance and possibility that it will NOT be horrible. You can find someone attractive. You can find someone interesting and also find someone who isn't an asshole. There is a lot of disappointment but you may find someone good. Maybe you can entertain some Mr. Right Nows and enjoy the companionship and company without it having to be serious. Dating is what you make of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 05:54 PM
4

A relationship doesn't just erase your style and who you are. If you dressed sexy before the relationship you will while in the relationship. Like scrap your whole wardrobe because you're with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 05:31 PM
2

That sounds like "dating". You usually go on dates and evaluate if you would want a relationship with someone? Usually while "dating" you don't make big proclamations you don't rearrange your life pursue heavily you meet up every once in awhile enjoy each other's company. There's no grandiose expectations of a relationship you're literally just getting to know each other. And if there's no compatibility/ long term goals don't align they have a deal breaker you pack it up and move it along. It's …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 07:05 PM
5

Maybe I am different? Because if I am interested and clearly can tell they are I throw the guy a bone? Flirt. Mention meet ups. Make it easy for them. But if they aren't interested or collaborating or wanting to that's my sign to keep it moving
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 05:52 PM
1

No one is entitled to anyone's attention. And if he's not interested or initiating? Next.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 05:43 PM
1

When every thread is spammed with it though? Like I get it. Shit sucks. But like read the room. And then other lonely men subs start popping up. I get incel threads on my for you. And it's like why?! Same thing with PassportBros. Lol I'm not a passport bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 05:23 PM
4

No some women can be assholes? Undoubtedly. There's controlling and manipulative behavior. I wouldn't doubt it. *Golddigger- guys who worry about this usually don't have much gold to dig. So they wouldn't pursue them anyways. But I think it's prostitution with extra steps and generally trash behavior. *Friendzone- The woman genuinely likes the guy just not romantically. But the guy will pine and hope that she will change her mind becomes resentful because she doesn't return feelings. When she is…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 05:21 PM
9

There's nuance here. Why pursue/date/romance someone you clearly aren't interested in. That CRAZY. It's a waste of your time and sanity dealing with someone you don't really like bothering you because they like you and think the feeling is mutual. Pouring money into and effort into someone you clearly aren't that interested in? Like if someone doesn't meet my bar? I am not going to let them even have the faintest idea or glimmer of hope that I would come around because it's a no. It's a clean "n…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 05:09 PM
13

I also think a lot of these guys have a humiliation fetish or really like the confirmation bias. Because a lot of them will try to flirt with women who are clearly not interested. Who are not into them. Or have these weird things they want women to abide by. Wants to put out the first date, but she says no. She was looking for a free meal she's not interested and needs to be punished for making him feel inferior. If they flirt with women who aren't interested or attracted to them. It's see I am …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 05:01 PM
15

I think because men go into incel and blaming women for their dating woes. Okay. Before... "But women do too" there's a difference here. Women's dating woes are usually meet a guy. Like said guy things go well with said guy. Guy doesn't want anything serious pulls away which more often than not you will come across in dating men. Feel like you wasted time and energy. Men's dating woes. "Women's standards are too high" she only likes assholes. No one wants a nice guy anymore! I get no swipes. Wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 04:31 PM
0

Not really. Perhaps more visible? But I don't find a lot of male celebrities attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 07:08 PM
5

They are unattractive. They do not draw my interest. I wouldn't want to date them or it's neutral and depending on I interact with them it can move one way or the other. But I find most men unattractive. I probably see one that catches my attention with consistent going out and on the apps I may find one or two.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 06:18 PM
2

I think it's more societal pressures of finding a spouse? So you feel that external pressure of I need to find someone. I need this person my life is lacking without this. So people who don't really even like each other pair off. And after feeling that you met that obligation? You realize you are really with someone you never really liked? Because you needed to fill some obligation and had to find your person. And when we see that. We see it reflected in boomer memes "I hate my wife" "ball and c…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 03:04 AM
10

You can have a commitment and still not need the person. Children need their parents. But adults don't need each other. It's something you choose to do. Love is a choice. If you change on a whim like that. It may be a "you" issue. Because in love is consideration is there. And changing your mind about the person you have a steady relationship with is definitely not considerate to the person you are with. You can still consider your partner even if you do not need them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 07:05 PM
16

How is that terrible? I failing to see where not being needed but being wanted is awful. It allows you to show up not as a provider or some role and just show up for each other mutually. A relationship should be about connection not provision? A great connection with someone is ideal. It's not needed? You literally aren't going to die, end up on a street, or shrivel into oblivion. It should be wanted? It should be mutual?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 06:03 PM
32

I think you are conflating independence with arrogance. Arrogance is obnoxious. An arrogant man is just as insufferable. It's high ego and ass pats for just existing. And yes. Anyone with a big but fragile ego is obnoxious. It is I do these things and expect to be rewarded for it. It's competition and hierarchy which is antithetical to connection. When I think of independence? I think of someone content with doing their own thing. I think of it as someone who shows up to the connection not in wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 03:19 PM
6

They act pleasant enough to get laid. Even the most sleaziest fuckboys get laid because at least they can at least be a pleasant person until the mask comes off. They didn't get with him because he was so detestable. Because you have to give a little bit to get a little bit? It's a positive quality that people look for. I'm ADHD. It's sucks to mask and reign it in. You have to learn to adjust to the world around you. It sucks but it is what it is. You are your own worst enemy.
/r/ExRedPill22/03/26 08:17 PM
8

And you may be the problem? With this attitude here. If you don't want to do things? And God forbid you care about another human being which is kind of important for romance which is what makes someone attractive. No one is forcing you to do those things? But maybe you may be the problem? And yes! It's called maturity and taking care of yourself.
/r/ExRedPill22/03/26 08:03 PM
6

Sure. But usually men who are no woman's type have some improvement to do. Usually they aren't attractive? So asocial? Chronically online so isn't socializing and relying purely on dating apps and online spaces? Poor hygiene? No fashion poorly styled unkempt? Boring (not in the oh he's an emotional rollercoaster way as in can't carry a conversation way), has nothing going for him, desperate and needy if he gets looks. And these are all things you can control and fix and work on. And yes some men…
/r/ExRedPill22/03/26 07:33 PM
8

This is true. But it's not? In the way men think. We all have preferences and things we like in men. It's not this uniform standard. It's individual preferences, of that particular woman. So maybe she likes nerds. So she will gravitate towards more nerdy guys. And jock guys are a huge turn off for her and will be physically unattractive to her. Maybe she likes really masculine men? So he's burly got a beard teddy bear dad bod but looks like he can chop wood? So a more effeminate man would regist…
/r/ExRedPill22/03/26 06:47 PM
1

No I just feel awkward though..... It makes things awkward.. Unless they are being offensive or crude. It's more like I understand.. I am attractive so you will attract all sorts even people I am not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 05:00 PM
7

It's kinda helped me understand their point. It's mental illness and this delusion of fairness. Also a hint of entitlement. I'm supposed to have a date. And this person I deemed as less attractive than me doesn't like people like me. It's mad ramblings from people who are very emotional about a topic. And those big feelings get pushed into this everything needs to be fair. Dating is not fair. Humans are irrational silly creatures! It kinda sucks for everyone and it all comes down to luck. Not ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 07:13 PM
4

I would say I am more blue. And I think looks matter. It's initial attraction? That's the head turn. But usually personality is what keeps you there. I think people shut it down because it becomes a circlejerk of self loathing after a bit. "Ohh I'm not tall!!!! Oh I am not this or that" And you can't reason with someone spiraling. Yes looks matter unless you are REALLY deformed or REALLY unhygienic and not taking care of yourself. There is probably one person who would give a look.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 05:29 PM
8

I think it's the concept of justice for them. A lot of men who struggle are autistic or very socially stunted. So the concept of looksmatch in their mind is fairness and just. That people among similar attractiveness pair up. To the socially stunted/autistic man it makes logical sense because the whole other part of attraction gets left out the window. Attraction is an emotional thing too you can't quantify or statistically prove who will find who attractive? Because emotions and behaviors are a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 05:13 PM
17

No one deserves a "good person" by virtue of wanting a good person. But most people deserve basic dignity and respect. So don't be an asshole? Don't hit lie or cheat. No one deserves that kind of treatment. Both men and women deserve basic respect. Is basic respect a relationship? No.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 07:38 PM
2

I think it's more like shopping in a grocery store and knowing what brand and what items you want and what are within your budget. And you keep having people tell you you don't want that this is better. That's bad for you. Why would you use this it's so much better and more budget friendly. And keep trying to put things or take things out of your cart. When you yourself know what you buy and what you use and what is within your budget. And everyone is trying to micromanage and criticize your cho…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 07:15 PM
1

I do? I don't mind the concept of 50/50. I want a reciprocal partnership. So covering drinks I cover the tickets? Like my affection doesn't come with a pricetag. And it goes to the highest bidder. I want to spend time with and enjoy them? It's not about the money spent and more so who I spend it with.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 05:39 PM
11

Ugh again with this. "Ugly man good. Attractive (to you) man bad" There are men that you are into that can do those things too. You don't have to pick desirability vs. security. Like both qualities aren't mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 12:32 AM
6

Well no one is denying they aren't. You should be in a relationship with someone you find attractive. It goes without saying because that is so subjective and we would talk in circles about what "attractive" is. In the terms of doing better while in a relationship it usually boils down to behavior. Oh but I am. What if I told you, you can find someone into similar things as you and is ATTRACTIVE? That's why you date and screen them out and get to know your perspective partner? And go through lif…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 10:10 PM
4

We are talking about two different things it seems. You are grumbling about the selecting process. Aka finding someone you want to date. I am talking about the part where you already selected said person. And no typically while in a relationship this person meets usually said standards. But if the relationship progresses, and true character comes out. Then yes. A man who is attentive when he was courting but becomes inattentive as the relationship progresses. A man who was affectionate but becam…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 07:47 PM
2

When in a relationship with said man. And he treats you like shit you do deserve better. We are already past the preselection process. They apparently had looks and whatever if you wanted to be in a relationship with them? They are in a relationship with them so they probably were interested in them. They have their interest. They were an option. The person you not attracted to does not go through this process. In a relationship. There is an established romantic interest! And yes you should date…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 06:07 PM
18

No. Attraction maybe? You SHOULD date and romance someone you are ATTRACTED to. Maybe I didn't specify that. If you are NOT attracted to your male friends you should not date them? Is this not a hard concept go grasp. This is usually people you are dating? And in relationships with. Mutual desire what have you. In a relationship if a guy is treating you badly you deserve better. Typically if they are in a relationship he passed the initial attraction and interest test?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 05:43 PM
40

I think your idea of "doing better" is off. Say you have a relationship. But your boyfriend sucks. He doesn't do anything. He sits around plays video games and treats you like you are a chore. He won't do any of the things you want to do. And when he does makes it seem like a big deal. Just does below the bare minimum. He makes you feel like a burden and your needs in the relationship are not being met. You could do better. It's not about looks, status and money. And more about treatment in term…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:17 PM
0

I think PPD/Manosphere/Any place lonely men congregate. Are a bad representative. Most men don't give a shit about women's standards. If they meet them they meet them and you guys are interacting they aren't asking you to dissect and analyze what your standards are. There's a mutual understanding that if you are dating/interacting with each other they passed that bar. Without having to do a full dissection and debate about standards. And if you are giving someone you are dating a laundry list th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 01:11 PM
2

You know I am seeing more about how much they just appreciate the person they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:29 PM
1

He is collaborative with me not leading or my boss but we do well in tandem. And I like that a lot. He's very independent as am I so when we do something we come together. His sense of humor. Also we have a lot in common. His laugh is adorable. He is an amazing conversationalist over text he is the worst. But in person we lose track of time. He is quirky and I like that about him we are both two independent people kinda stumbling through dynamics together. I think it feels more like partnership …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 04:24 PM
2

Pretty punishment. You are sexualized very fast. People will only like you for your looks and if you don't perform how the fantasized version of you acts. Which how can you know?! It's their fantasy of you. You will be "humbled". Guys will neg. Or say some degrading shit. And if they are really insecure comment on your looks or your insecurities. You are less of a person and more like an experience. A lot of men don't want to commit to the "hot" girl. You are there for ego strokes and a lot of s…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 04:54 AM
2

Maybe that is the case? But are these men putting themselves in social situations are just swiping away on an app? I don't think so. Social media shows you the best of the best. Filters. None of it is real. Just ooh that's nice. And go on with my day. I feel like social media doesn't do that much to me. But I don't live on there? I don't find a lot of men attractive but I also just don't find a lot of men attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 05:02 AM
1

Oh we definitely don't encounter a lot of hot men in day to day life. At least from my experience? I may see one once in awhile it's like a reward. And if we hit it off and they flirt with me. I'm stoked. I met the guy I am dating by chance when I went out dancing one night. And was like...holy crap he is cute. Shorter than me (I am 5'8) slender. Pretty face long fluffy hair. Like whoa.. and now we are dating. But the thing is. "Hotness" is so subjective. My kind of hot isn't going to be like th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 04:58 AM
1

So Timothee Chalamet may not be available or a celebrity or someone of the upper echelons of society. But asking for BASIC attraction. Like to be into the dude is not a big ask. Or unavailable to anyone. It's a bare minimum to have any sort of romantic and intimate connection. Yes obviously if you think your celebrity crush is going to whisk you away and you will live happily ever after and doubling down on that. Is absurd and at that point yeah you are shooting yourself in the foot. Also I do b…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:42 AM
2

Photos and dating apps won't create a visceral reaction. Our attraction doesn't work that way. YES being hot is important. Hot/Chemistry is more how it works. You can see a good photo and not have chemistry? You can be spoonfed algorithms of men you go yeah that's nice. But it's not going to be like I'm going to date him. Visceral is when they are hot and you chemistry? Which typically happens more if you meet in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 12:36 AM
1

Real life you are exposed just as much to so many men as well? You go to school/work?.... You are exposed to men? You go out?... You will meet men? Concerts.... Maybe meet a man? Airport? Maybe will meet a man. Out for a walk? You will come across a man Conventions?... You will meet men
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 12:29 AM
2

Maybe for younger people. I think you give the dating apps too much credit. Most women do not like the apps? It's not really a good way to meet anyone. It's awkward the dates feel forced. No one enjoys it. All my successful dating/relationships have been from people I have met in person. While doing things I like doing. I met the man I am dating at a goth event? We have similar interests and I thought he was super attractive? Social media maybe blurs the discussion. And some of the "dating advic…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 12:11 AM
2

We have eyes though. Even without social media and dating apps. We have eyes. So should they ban movies, magazines, attractive boys in school when they get a crush? Should we just remove our eyeballs? Because even without social media/dating apps we still will have preferences and wants. No one should pair off with someone they don't find attractive just because they will commit to them. It's better to be alone? Dating for utility versus genuine desire is a really sad way to live.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 10:33 PM
8

I think so. Even in just a sexual ONS kind of situation. There has to be some level of safety and vibe (social/emotional signal). You aren't just like grabbing the first guy and like "You" obviously there is some kind of talking and hanging out. You grab drinks hang out and let reservations pass. A guy cold approaching saying I would like some fuck. Would kind of be gross and off-putting.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 06:12 PM
4

It's a subtle negging technique. "Lower your standards" Its I can't meet those standards so you shouldn't ask for them. People don't like hearing they don't meet a certain threshold. Whatever that threshold may be. And it's usually anonymous people posting online? It comes from entitlement/delusion that because they don't meet this standard they are excluded from everything.. That because some woman on Tiktok says she wants a 6'5 guy in finance. That he is automatically excluded from all the dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 05:47 PM
3

I was walking into the gas station to grab a snack for the road. And I just finished working out in the gym so I was hardly in my finest attire....all sweaty hair thrown up. And this guy holds the door open and just says you're really beautiful.. Another time a man and his husband were at this goth night. I was with my friends just goofing off after we saw a band play. And he walks over and tells me I have the happiest smile. It was one of the sweetest things anyone has said to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 04:33 PM
2

I think it honestly comes down to social skills and charisma? A lot of men have stunted social skills. Really bad cognitive distortions due to poor mental health and a lack of real world challenges (black and white thinking, personalization, catastrophizing, overgeneralizing, all or nothing thinking, mind reading, mental filtering) . Exceedingly high expectations. Not a lot going for them as far as in their life fulfillment. Really poor self esteem. I would say this makes up a large percentage o…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 04:21 PM
9

I am not disagreeing. So I will respond here. I think a lot of these people who talk about leagues? Are basically the either peaked in highschool types or still stuck in that teenage years of hierarchical thinking. The "jocks get with the cheerleaders!" Kind of thing. It just shows a lack of emotional maturity and nuance. And the people you hear talk about leagues? Usually young fresh out of high school women in their early 20s? And Red Pill men/Manosphere bros. People as they age out and realiz…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 02:08 PM
–

The average man can be attractive? Like we are not all celebrities and millionaires.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 04:45 AM
–

I am just one person? So naturally my personal preferences and things I find attractive will narrow down the pool. That's what it is supposed to do. And yeah likely will be a very small percentage because again I am one person and looking for one person? I am seeing someone so obviously it worked in my favor? And again people find different things attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:45 PM
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How is that extreme though? You are not going to find everyone attractive. Not everyone will find me attractive. I think we are allowed preferences. And out of billions of people? You are only going to be drawn to a small number of them?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 04:32 PM
–

Not necessarily. I am not selecting someone based upon just superficial characteristics like just looks, money, and status. Yes there is physical attraction that has to go into it. But similar interests. That has to be another one. Compatibility based upon values and experiences or at least an understanding of each other. Which would probably even make that percentage smaller? What's the point of commitment. If you don't like the person or are attracted to them? To have commitment. That sounds t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:21 PM
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I don't think it's a shortcoming when it comes to men? Yes my what is considered "attractive" and what I am looking for is very narrow. But it's not most men's fault that they don't meet that certain threshold for me. It can be frustrating. But when it happens it happens. It's like getting food? You are only selecting less than 5% of the menu. DO you hate the entire menu and blame the entire menu for not being tasty? No? That's dumb. You just kind of have an idea of what you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 01:58 PM
1

No? You shouldn't sleep with every guy you go on a date with. But you can enjoy sex too? And if the moment feels right go for it. And everyone is different? You can be sexual take care of your sexual health use protection. And also have conversations about sexual health. Using birth control. Using condoms. Prevention works on both ends. You have agency. Some of my best relationships that actually turned committed. Were just a sexual fling? And we spent time together and grew together. Sexual com…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 05:24 PM
1

Option 3 hands down? I want the companionship and affection of someone I find attractive and want to spend time with. And in the absence of being able to do things? We could enjoy each other's company
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 03:12 PM
2

Chad is just living rent free in your mind.. Why does any guy that someone finds attractive automatically "chad'. What if my "chad" is shorter than me and effeminate? Why can't the guy you find attractive is just a guy you find attractive why does he have to be "chad".
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 11:50 PM
3

Why is it date a man you find ugly or consider it an option. I'm sorry attention and a man "giving me everything I want" from someone I am not attracted to is not an option. That's a great friend. A person I enjoy but there's no sexual attraction for. You should at the very least be attracted to the person you are dating. You can't brow beat or woe is me your way out of this. Yes if there is sexual intimacy involved physical intimacy involved we need to be physically attracted to the person we m…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 09:44 PM
2

I think they are just misanthropic. They have a negative perception of the world and assume the worst in people and situations. Likely due to underlying mental illness and unresolved trauma. They have a negative view of humanity and have a confirmation bias. So the fat woman and her fit husband? He obviously settled or she baby trapped him not the fact he didn't mind her body shape and were sweethearts before! The nerdy guy and pretty girl? He's obviously paying her to be there they are both in …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 09:35 PM
1

I kinda disagree with this. I think withholding sex, and using it as a bargaining chip for commitment will bite you in the tush. I think if you want to sleep with someone sleep with them and it's entirely personal preference. Understand the consequences of it they may only "just want sex". I have had good relationships with men I was sexual with early on? Ironically I got cheated on lied to and strung along by someone I "made wait" after he spent time, money to get to know me because self respec…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 05:37 PM
3

It's Schrodinger's "Chad" essentially. By virtue of you wanting to date/sleep with men you are attracted to (the horror! The hubris). He is likely going to have options (because you find him attractive so dozens of other women will too) and if the panel of men deny your claim that you are worth such a man. You are sentenced to being pumped and dumped or placed into the "fun" zone indefinitely. Until you lower your standards and give that "average" guy a chance. Who doesn't have options. His best…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 05:18 PM
3

I think the minute you stop trying to secure an outcome with a man? Is the time you can actually enjoy dating, sex, and relationships. I think it's like a metaphor of "bad cologne". You may be decently attractive. You may be smart. You may have things going for you and would make a good partner. But you have bad cologne. And people can smell it. So trying to impose these strict rules guidelines and expectations for a man to follow? To secure an outcome of a committed monogamous relationship is b…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 02:31 PM
1

It's not silly. You are the one implying that people have some universal leagues and you are doomed to stay in that league so if you are ugly you are ugly. Or have to fork over a lot of money. I am saying that your league is who you find attractive usually finds you attractive? That's typically your league. And yes for women looks do play a part. But I see a lot more beautiful women with men that I wouldn't consider attractive. I never found status or money to be attractive in a man? If a guy is…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 08:46 PM
1

It's literally saying personality and chemistry matter. Which is like the basis of Blue Pill. Running game and creating pressure to try and seal the deal usually flops. Because it comes off as inauthentic. Being yourself gets you more continuity. Also... I just used a very simplified version in my example. It's obviously a lot more nuanced than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 08:37 PM
1

I beg to question? A league according to whom? You? People value different things/attracted to different things. So what is people's respected leagues. Is there a panel of nonpartisan people that scan and rate. And in order to express any sort of interest in them you have to run it by this panel? Is there some kind of dating ELO that we don't know about? Because again leagues = people who like you and you like them. TRP/PUA. What have you. Would shift the goalpost. It's relationship now it's mar…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 05:33 PM
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I think people still meet off the apps. I think dating apps themselves are like a slot machine. You pull the lever and maybe once you may win? Or you just wasted some money and have nothing to show for it. It's like saying someone I know made a big win off of gambling. It does happen. It doesn't happen all the time but it does happen. I think the same can be said about online dating. And also you factor in the schematics of it all. Emotional Availability. Mutual shared values. Mutual attraction.…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 02:02 PM
-2

I think so. I think that's why I gravitate more towards goth/alternative men. They style themselves nice and wear their personality and put a little effort into their style and not afraid to push the envelope and experiment with make up and aesthetics. They put effort in and it shows. I appreciate it. I think you get more continuity with guy B. Guy A is the guy you get up and move away from. Get your drink and skedaddle away after you tried to skedaddle away the first time. Sure he may have trie…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 07:10 AM
8

Not taking men seriously. Guys will blow smoke up your ass. And tell you you're the best thing that has ever happened to them. They would drag their balls through broken glass to hear you fart in a walkie talkie. But really just be horny. And you seemed like a good idea at the time. They will lie charm and try to entertain and impress for a chance to crack. The less serious you take them. The less focused on the outcome the more fun you can have. And also show up authentically because if this gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 05:13 AM
4

It seems so. It's kinda a Kafka trap for them to get us women in. Like no matter what he If he's cute he's a player. He's going to cheat. Not take you seriously have a million and one options. Waste your time! And pump and dump ALL AT ONCE. (Because drama and it's funny to over exaggerate) If you settle on looks but he's still an asshole? Then I should have vetted better and it's retribution for making him "beta bucks". You should have known better. Again nothing to do with HIS character. Dead b…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 04:22 AM
4

Yeah rape and abuse are illegal and that's a really exaggerated version of what's going on. It's not. But if your dude bros are stringing along a woman or cheating on a woman. Why not hold him accountable? Like "Hey dude? That's not cool man. She deserves better and you are being a dishonest selfish asshole? Do better". Because if one of my friends was being shitty to a dude? I would have words to say. "Hey what you are doing to so and so is kinda fucked up. You don't like him. Why are you leadi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 01:06 AM
5

Personality does matter. Chemistry comes from how you act. Attraction is a mix of chemistry and looks. Okay a hypothetical here. We have guy A. Guy A is conventionally attractive and tall. But Guy A is really boring to talk to. Overly Charismatic kind of a douche a bit full of himself. You can't even get a word in because he's just talking about himself. And trying to run game on you. There's no intrigue no chemistry. Nothing fun. He's just like talking to a wall. And awkwardly making passes at …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 12:59 AM
4

This doesn't seem like a women punching above their weight. And more like Chad being terrible? Why not hold Chad accountable? Why is this women's fault?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 12:13 AM
6

Oh this is simple! It's basically because you want to date someone you find attractive. And by the nature of YOU finding him attractive dozens of other women must find this guy attractive. So if he ends up being an asshole? It must be because you like assholes and attractive man bad! Ugly man good. . It must be because you went out of your league? It must be because you didn't give the ugly guy a chance who didn't have options? So now because you know having pesky standards and wanting a semblan…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 08:49 PM
3

The fact that you are referring to ROI. And referring to basic human connection as some kind of economic thing is probably why. Most of my successful dating/relationships have been people I have met while out and doing things I like. I used to cosplay I met people at comic cons. I go to goth events I met people there. I go to concerts have met people. And these are things and hobbies that I like to do. I'm not twisting my arm and agonizing over having to do these things. These are social circles…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 05:24 PM
1

Not for me!! Military men are definitely NOT my type.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 02:26 PM
4

This sub is sometimes the gift that keeps on giving. So many things. WHO?! Decides leagues and who determines what who's league? Is there some kind of nonpartisan committee. That you have to take your selection to and determine if they are in your league and should go forward in dating them? Because typically I think your league is who you like and who likes you back? Simple as that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 03:30 AM
5

For real though!! I live in SoCal. It's kinda the norm here.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 03:16 AM
–

I don't think they are ecstatic and a euphoric bliss over a lack of partnership. But are content with their lives? And finding contentment if they don't meet a person who they want? Single > bad relationship. Do they want a good partner yes. And a good partnership would be ideal. But also if they do not find that are they going to make their whole existence agonizing over not finding a partner or make the most of their lives. And yes a good partner is someone who adds value. They are attracted t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:20 PM
2

Are you genZ by any chance? Actually Millennial. But I came of age when metrosexual was a thing. And the goth emo thing was taken off. An Elf, a Targaryen. Red/blonde hair, bright blue/green eyes, skin pale as the moon. An inhuman beauty in the face. A bit taller and fitter than a regular athlete woman Sounds ethereal. 🧝‍♀️ I can almost picture it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 05:20 AM
1

See I can't fathom that. I think it's rare for me to find someone I find attractive. Then actually vibe with? Even like when I go on a first dates my dates or people kinda match what I am looking for or my "type". And then if it find someone and works out I am like all about them like instantly no one else even registers I have tunnel vision.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 08:49 PM
2

It's not complicated though. I think of it like driving. You can develop skills to drive a car and have the know how to navigate and drive safely. But it still doesn't stop idiots from being idiots while driving? Careless, reckless, and distracted drivers exist there are bad people out there. They cause damage even if you are doing the right things. It sucks but you can't control how other people think or behave. Only how you navigate in regards to people. Internal center of control. Red Pill/FD…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 06:17 PM
0

I think it's just the status quo. It's not really mainstream or prescribed dating advice. I think most people would just say do what works for you. It's like FDS/Red Pill. There's no set Blue Pill dating advice. It's just not turning dating into some kind of strategy game. If the advice doesn't apply let it fly? Typically it's be pleasant to be around. Be presentable. Have something going for you not "OH MY GOD I NEED A BF/GF VALIDATION FROM THE OPPOSITE SEX MY WORTH DEPENDS ON IT I AM DOING THI…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:40 PM
7

It is literally just opposing Red Pill though. There is no set Blue Pill beliefs or blue pill ideas. It's just not red pillm
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:30 PM
1

Silver foxes? Nice nice nice. I agree with this. If I meet someone who is hot as hell. But can't hold a conversation or has the personality of a tictac or RUDE and arrogant ew. I probably wouldn't be as attracted to them. It's like wow you're pretty but yikes. Like yeah you can admire the package. You can gold wrap a turd but it's still a turd lol 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:29 PM
2

All you girly!!!! You should go to San Diego/Oceanside area they are literally everywhere! 😉
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:25 PM
6

I don't think the blue pill claims anything? I think most Blue Pill folks would look at at a guy claiming to be "drowning in pussy" as some kind of weirdo. It's just NOT Red Pill. It's hey following online grifters who make romance and you know relationships into some kind of business transaction. It's illogical and there isn't some magic formula that unlocks the hidden romance option in women. You can't say a few pick up lines. "Have frame" and talk about cryptocurrency. And suddenly panties dr…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:24 PM
2

I wish I didn't have a type sometimes... 😂😭 But I definitely do and I have dated outside of it. And it doesn't work out or feels like some is missing. I think having a wide umbrella of what hot is! Makes it a lot easier when dating you can sample more platters I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 08:38 PM
2

I don't think any of us can pull an influencer or celebrity lol. Like our ideal is the ideal more like a visual representation of what we look for. I think most of us can find average people that meet some kind of type we have while out and about. They don't have to be like the ideal but they kinda meet that thing of what I think is beautiful.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 08:36 PM
3

Q4All: Let's have some fun talking about looks. What is like your ideal? When you are talking about what your ideal "hot" person looks like what comes to mind? And do you look for people who embody those oh hell yeah traits? If you have a partner or are dating? Be as delusional as you would like to. No judgment. I'll start: this man is too beautiful https://youtube.com/shorts/sNG7pALOnpQ?si=JgYK5JCBYQbj4vz5 https://youtube.com/shorts/-I0WhhtGsHU?si=8EBSjCupqiqNmYqp Like absolutely breathtaking 🥲…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 07:42 PM
4

I think one thing the online dating conversations/ dating coaches/ self help advocates basically everyone is that intimacy will look different to different people. I think everyone tries to pigeon hole what proper intimacy is? And commercialize it and if it doesn't fit this model of intimacy you're doing it wrong. When we are all human and our needs and experiences are different. And that kind of rhetoric becomes damaging and turns dating and forming a connection into plotting, planning, schemin…
/r/ExRedPill19/02/26 02:09 PM
24

As a woman I don't think so. I want an equal. I want someone who can meet me where I am at. Not better or worse than me. Basically are they attractive to me. Do I like spending time with them. Do we have things in common. I also don't find the "alpha" or super traditional masculinity attractive. It repels me. I paid for my dates tickets for a concert he brought the beer. I want someone I can pour into and they pour into me equally. Not even finances just basic reciprocity.
/r/ExRedPill18/02/26 08:40 PM
2

I think it's learned from bad experiences with men in our lives. Even as early as childhood. And learning that men are not safe. It's reinforced by other people on social media which say men are not safe. And increased exposure to bad behavior of men when you are dating them. Just reinforces they are not safe. And they will do something. And with the rise of red pill/manosphere ideologies. Men themselves confirm hey we are not safe. We really DO think this way about you. I want to be proven wron…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 06:27 PM
–

Not being attracted to someone isn't disrespectful. I think its more of a courtesy to politely decline than to waste their time and string them along knowing you don't really feel that way about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 08:46 PM
–

Because what men deem as attractive isn't always attractive to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 04:11 AM
1

He has long fluffy hair. A bit on the androgynous side. He wears cut band tees of various goth bands. Docs?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 12:10 AM
2

It seems like this is a common denominator type. Lol I am a goth lady so looking for my goth man. I am dating someone who is my type. Just adorable. Shorter than me too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 07:20 PM
1

Darn I'm tall lol 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 07:18 PM
1

Slender, androgynous, not super masculine, alternative men. And I am dating a guy who is definitely my type.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 05:43 PM
1

Likely not. But I am not ugly. So I think I can ask for at the bare minimum someone I find cute. Oh I do have high standards regarding physical attraction. I won't deny it. I have a "type". Slender,androgynous, alternative. Longer hair. No beard. Pretty face. A lot of men don't meet that requirement but I am not looking for any man. I'm not desperate for a date or a drop of validation. I am the same way I don't find a lot of men attractive. A lot aren't my type and that's okay? I'm not looking f…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 03:10 AM
1

Making a lot of assumptions about me but go on. I don't think it's male model tier just somewhat physically appealing? But since you are all about equals male models would be in my league since I do model? But they do not have to be a male model just cute would suffice. Again I reiterate my point because you didn't hear it. "Options" aka interest from men you are not interested in. Is not options. Kind of how you go on about the fat depressed lady you always go on about. If your only "options" a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 01:58 AM
1

Those "options" are not options if you are not interested in them it's having zero options. There's literally no point. It's a two way street you should be interested and they should be interested? And yes having zero options sucks. But what have you done to maximize your social circle? Do you go out frequently? And yes it is hard to find someone regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 11:16 PM
0

Dating just sucks everywhere? I don't know what to tell you. It sucks. You make the most of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 11:02 PM
–

I don't think you see the nuance in this. Why do you want mediocrity as just the standard? Love me I am painfully average and not exceptional in any way! Give me a chance. The thing that makes even an average guy. I would say the guy I am seeing is average? By most metrics probably an average guy. But he sticks out in a room to me? I find him unique. And it simply comes to preferences and what someone finds attractive? Because the average guy could be above average in someone's eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 02:20 PM
–

Me and my friends all have different types. My friends taste is definitely not my taste. And my taste is definitely not my friend's taste. She like big buff guys that are super masculine. I like skinny guys that are a bit more androgynous that's what I find attractive. People are going to think someone is unattractive. And that is okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 04:13 AM
13

They really do not do a good job presenting men in a positive light. Men will do anything for sex. Your company and companionship are just unfortunate hurdles getting in between them and sex. And they have to endure your company to maybe get a chance at sex. They can lie and deceive for sex because they wouldn't get sex if they couldn't. Women shouldn't have rights because they lose access to sex. And all the legends of Chad and his infinite harem of women. Chad is just a projection of what THEY…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 02:06 PM
8

I will call BS. Let's put this into human terms. Human. Would you want to spend your life with someone you feel "meh" about? That sounds like misery so you live out the rest of your life with someone you're like I guess this will do? I am going to have to go to bed with this person every night. Why would someone subject themselves to that. I am a 35 year old woman. And I can say I think I enjoy life and dating more because I can prioritize things I actually want. Attraction and chemistry without…
/r/ExRedPill02/02/26 02:29 PM
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Why won't Chad lower his standards and date a nice girl!!! Men don't like nice girls. Why won't he give me a chance I'm a nice girl. Men are so shallow and want materialistic supermodels who only want men for their money!!! /S Chad is a folk hero and villain of sorts. He's either the deadbeat drug selling dad with face tattoos who left his baby momma ruining it for the average guy. He's could also be rich doctor with a plethora of poor women slinging their panties at him that he just can't settl…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 08:27 PM
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I think it's because they want to point and laugh, feel outraged, and say women are so delusional when it comes to standards they themselves don't meet and the women deserve some retribution (he will never take you seriously or pump and dump). Like some kind of emotional masochism. They will pursue women who wouldn't be into them be rejected by said woman and complain her standards are too high and be the victims of women's high standards. I think it's a form of self flagellation and a way to st…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:03 PM
3

I think if she can't find anyone? And feels miserable about it. Or she isn't doing things actively in her life to make herself appealing or putting in opportunities to meet the men she may potentially have interest in. Like if you want an alternative guy you should probably listen to the music and have things that are relatable to them? Maybe similar aesthetics and lifestyles. If you value education? You should probably have an education too. And pursue a degree as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 05:26 PM
0

I don't think they exist. Humans are silly variable creatures who are wildly unpredictable. We all value different things. I like a scrawny androgynous man who is a bit shy and passive. Some women like a more assertive "masculine" man. Some men value more traditional things so likely will date someone with similar values. Where I am going with this is we all have different values and preferences. So the concept of a league is stupid. It's just people you are into and who are into you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 01:19 AM
2

Dating does suck equally. It's frustrating. And I think a lot of people are burnt out. And I ask the question? What are these men doing to improve their chances? If you are unappealing to every single woman. Look inward and see what you can change. Invest in yourself. That self care usually manifests itself outward too. I think a lot of men cut off their nose to spite their face by falling into the misogynistic red pill crap. That just creates resentment and palpable bad vibe. And makes a dude n…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 09:38 PM
1

People who cannot find anyone to give them a chance to even go on a date. Not because they're bad people but because they're just not appealing to anyone around them. Okay for this hypothetical person. I would ask what things are you doing to improve yourself to be appealing? What efforts are you making? I think this is maybe where women and men do not see eye to eye. Because if I am not appealing or feeling attractive I do something about it. Fix my mindset. Give myself a glow up. Pour more int…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 09:28 PM
1

I can definitely empathize. Dating sucks. It sucks for everyone. Trying to find someone and open up be vulnerable and have the safety to do so. A lot of people's unhealed kids running around making it worse for everyone without the self awareness to address the harm they cause. Like it's an absolute shit show. For everyone. It's hard to make a connection. Let alone make a connection with someone who wants to make a connection with you. A lot of false starts. Disappointment and maybe something co…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 08:13 PM
0

Of course they're usually romantically unsuccessful. Someone being a victim of the thing they're complaining about is naturally going to be familiar with the state of society. It's like saying 'you're complaining about how hard it is to be homeless? I bet you're poor'. Naturally, the people saying it's fine and you just need to work harder, are usually rich and out of touch or, in this case, women who don't understand how hard it is to be a man. The 80% statistics are easily verifiable as true (…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 07:27 PM
1

Other: Style. I like men who express themselves in their style that tend to be a little more alt. Hairstyle. Facial/Symmetry. (Androgynous soft features. Make me swoon) Shoulders. A guy with nice shoulders. Just.... Mmmm
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 06:53 PM
-2

I don't think it's "virgin". It's the out of touch takes that usually means that man hasn't interacted with the opposite sex or his behavior is off-putting to women. That their frame of reference on women. Is rage bait online, porn, and anecdotal evidence from forums. A guy could not have had sex and be pleasant to be around. And it wouldn't even be a point of conversation or something to be poked at. Maybe he just hasn't found the right one. Maybe he's not focused on dating. Maybe he hasn't had…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 06:48 PM
1

Yeah. You are definitely not debating in good faith. Real life is not a porno.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 05:06 PM
2

Don't have OF don't want to. And my insta is mostly travels? And pics of my dog. But assumptions keep them coming! I worked with some professional photographers in a studio. Also almost got a gig modeling for Blackcraft. But because I'm not influencer level (meaning if they linked my Instagram, which I have private and don't have a big social media presence because again I like to keep it private) they couldn't promote. And they wanted more diverse sizes it was more for plus size when they did t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 06:48 AM
2

Nah not really a Tom Holland? Not at all a Tom Holland. Nice try though. Quite presumptuous to assume who is within my league and who isn't? I do pin up modeling. Pretty successful career wise/life wise. No kids. Regularly work out. Goth. I am well aware of my league. 🤭 But thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 06:38 AM
3

Oh I do like my twinks! Another lady of culture. Haha but I am very into goth men or alternative leaning men. I think because I am goth alternative as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 06:31 AM
3

I don't know my experience is kind of anecdotal? But my attraction is kinda niche? He's 5'6. Skinny. Kinda effeminate. We are both into goth and goth subculture. Really shy. Kinda dorky we were all talking about Ren Faire. Not a celebrity/influencer. Has a pretty normal job. Not really rich? Kinda your average dude? It is a miracle when you find someone who fits your niche. Yes?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 06:11 AM
3

Actually you're not wrong OP. I was fully going to let a connection slow fade. It is someone I am insanely attracted to like my dream guy. And we have good chemistry and genuinely enjoy his presence. Like we kiss passionately and intimately. And out of being kinda a wimp and scared to make the first move or initiate more interest I started to withdraw. So I got over myself and threw out a date idea to him randomly? And he actually said yes. And then followed up with his own plan too. And if I ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 05:07 AM
–

You can meet people and just not click with them? Even at 9 different dating events. And attraction is such a dimensional thing. Like okay looks it's not that hard. And it's really subjective. And barely a point of contention. Like are they cute? By what you think is cute. And the next part is shared interests, values, can you converse with them? Like does conversation feel forced or like natural. You can go to event and not meet someone you click with. It's not really delusion. Even if you don'…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 05:24 PM
10

It just comes off as covert narcissism if you ask me. My emotional regulation and sense of self worth is dependent on how you act and do things to regulate my feelings. If you don't do that to my specifications you're a meanie who doesn't like men!!! Women have to be compassionate in a way I want them to be compassionate. Which is..... "Sex". Pity sex. Give the guy a chance. Give me attention! You can extend goodwill. Say that sucks. It's tough out there. Chin up. Go out. Find co-ed hobbies? Yes…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 12:25 AM
1

What's scary is you're failing to grasp the consent part. They can be my type 10/10 hotter than a furnace. But as soon as they make a gross sexual remark when they have no rapport it's immediately unattractive. Because that would be objectifying. It would mean they only see me as a lay which isn't flattering. You hear it repeatedly here. Men will have sex with women they don't like to have sex. So it's not flattering or a compliment if it's a forward sexual comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 12:24 AM
4

Again consent is key here. And I find it pretty concerning the lack of understanding about consent. If you have a ONS/casual interaction it's usually some implied consent that you find each other attractive. Or in the mood what have you. Consenting to that interaction. Having someone talk about having nice breasts or imagining how your lips look on their member. Or sending an unsolicited dick pic. Is hardly feeling desired. It feels icky and degrading and it makes a guy look really gross when th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:30 PM
4

Because there's healthy reciprocal sexual attention.. and objectification. One is a consensual experience. The other is a lack of consent and making the other person feel dirty
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 03:15 PM
2

I am into men for better or for worse. I am into only certain men that are attractive to me? And their behavior dictates even more how I feel about them. Not finding a man attractive is not the same as hating men. There are plenty of men that are good men or good company that I am not interested in romantically. And perfectly likable people.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 03:00 PM
6

Being seen as a warm hole is hardly a treat?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 01:31 PM
2

Oh there is. Treating a guy like an ATM. And dating men for their money I would say is objectification of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 01:18 PM
2

I don't disagree with this. I am sure there are a lot of terrible women out there and it can make dating hard for men as well. And there are women who can be cruel and manipulative. I think vetting and being apprehensive about the other person and their intent for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 01:17 PM
1

I like other goth men or men in the subculture as well? Preferably more on the twink side. And maybe learn about the subculture and music?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:29 AM
7

That could be because you are bad people too? I mean that's what I was told when I was an incel Well I like to think not? I'm a human so flawed so there's always room for growth. A guy down on his luck dating is not an incel. An incel spews toxic hatred. "Hey I am struggling in dating it's really hard and I have a lot of disappointment?" Not an incel "Women don't want to have sex with me! They hate men because they don't want to have sex with me! Women only want Chad!!!!!! " Incel. No. I was tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:10 AM
10

Its my own bad experiences. Some with friends. Some online. Also a lot of the things men say in here in regards to women. "Pump and dump" and various other wonderful things said about women. I am saying there is a lot of bad behavior from men done to women. So understandably we are very wary of them. Men who get it understand. Men who don't get defensive instead of trying to understand. If you understand why we are apprehensive of men you can be the change women want to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:29 AM
3

They aren't wrong. When your biggest opps can be the person you share a bed with? When the person you trust can blink of eye hurt you without a moments notice. When men have loudly stated our company is just a means to end for sex. That our essence, our personalities, our dreams, who we are doesn't matter. They care about sex. When you give grace, and that grace you gave was the boundary they crossed over to do harm. The amount of disappointment you feel. Because every guy will tell you how wond…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:24 AM
3

I hate to say. I do this. And the result is still the same. I don't want to use a guy for money or provisions. I literally genuinely like the guy I could be making more than him. I don't mind splitting a check I want to spend time with them. Annnnndddd yeah you can still get treated badly. Or looked over?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 05:47 PM
3

Not a red pill. But it's not. Attraction is based upon a psychological/physiological thing. I can't control what I find attractive and seek out people with those qualities I find attractive. I think a lot of people's dating woes would be fixed if they could change what they found attractive. But that's not how life works or people work.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 05:44 PM
1

Because most of the time it's usually not a conventionally ugly guy? There's very rarely conventionally ugly men. Who's looks are solely to blame there are some who are. A lot of the time. It's guys who are asocial. Completely reliant on interaction from online stuff. Don't really go out. So rejection averse they don't even approach women for conversation! Conversation!? Even if it goes nowhere they have zero confidence. Strategize every interaction with a woman instead of just socializing tryin…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 04:45 AM
0

It's fine it may take some time? You can't help what you are attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 01:02 AM
1

Prioritizing personality over looks is a lie in most cases Well looks get you in the door personality gets you there. And people's looks threshold varies? Personality keeps you there. Someone finds x attractive unless you're unwashed, lack self care so dressed frumpy, hair unstyled no sense of style... Nasty teeth.. patchy splotchy facial hair.. and really put no effort whatsoever into yourself or your appearance than you may not meet someone's threshold. Yes. Women do the same but in reverse - …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 08:38 PM
2

What is "masculine". I find the performative masculinity obnoxious personally. It feels like you have to tip toe around their ego to avoid "emasculating" them. That kind of masculine just seems annoying and inauthentic. I prefer someone who stays more true to themselves even if it's outside the realm of performative masculinity. I can pay for my drink if I am enjoying their company. I can lean in and give effort if they are shy so they feel safe. I prefer softness over control. Vulnerability ove…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 06:57 PM
2

It's subjective but be attractive? Someone will likely pick up what you are putting down.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 06:33 PM
0

I'm a goth woman so it kinda makes sense? That I would gravitate towards men like that. I'm not into hyper masculine men. Or beards? But women also love the beard. Also the clean cut finance guy likely not for me. Frat guy? Nah. We would have nothing in common and I don't like the aesthetic much. Oh nice abs Kyle. But does nothing for me. Blue collar guy next door, I would call him like the Hallmark romance archetype. I see guys like that pull.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 06:24 PM
0

There is no lie though! It's kinda again a goes without saying? We want to like the looks of a guy who treats well? Which I assume is similar for men as well. So it's not a lie by omission? It's a common sense thing. Men do the same thing. A woman who encapsulates your values? Is sweet to you? But there is no physical attraction? You probably would not date her? Truly scummy guys may try to squeeze free sex out of them if they can "pump and dump" if you will.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 06:18 PM
-1

I like scrawny androgynous alternative men a bit on the dorky side? Maybe I'm an outlier. 🤷🏻‍♀️. The only time we had a universally yeah.. he's hot. Is probably 1990s Brendon Fraser? At least with me and my friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 06:12 PM
1

It's kind of a cocktail is it not? Looks+ other qualities = attractive. No physical attraction+ shared interests + pleasant to be around = platonic friendship. Looks - other qualities= maybe enjoy flirting with them but goes nowhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 06:07 PM
2

It kind of goes without saying? If you are going to physically intimate with someone? You are going to be physically attracted too. We want someone who we find physically attractive to also embody the other qualities as well. Like kindness, shared interests, and generally pleasant to be around. We also just want to be physically attracted to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 05:56 PM
3

I don't think they understand choosing is mutual thing? It's not a power thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 05:53 PM
3

People act like prioritizing physical attraction is a cardinal sin. You SHOULD be physically attracted to the person you are going to be physically intimate with. What people find attractive is going to vary? Some women want muscles and a cut gym physique. Some like those stupid mustaches that the firefighters have and a mullet. Some like cozy dad bod guys because they like the fluff. But the key take away is you SHOULD be physically attracted to the person you may be potentially be intimate wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 05:28 PM
0

But the thing is attraction varies from person to person. The guy I am talking to and seeing? Shorter than me, androgynous, and demure. I think he's very attractive. He's shy a little aloof a little clumsy and awkward. And I live for it. I rejected a 6'3 masculine very confident in himself man with a full beard. Did nothing for me. Did the opposite was not interested in at all. No attraction. I found him obnoxious. You're right as in no woman is going to date someone she isn't attracted to. But …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:45 AM
0

We do but attraction is a completely subjective thing. What we value and think is attractive is going to vary from woman to woman. The other thing is relating to each other. I am into the goth alt subculture? So likely will look for someone who is into that community too because we would have mutual interests. Am I friends with people who aren't sure? Have I dated people who aren't? Yeah and usually it becomes a point of contention because they don't appreciate the things I appreciate so for the…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:27 AM
1

If you hung out with the intention of dating and she only wants to be friends. Okay valid. You got the information you need about that connection. But if you were friends and always were friends and dating wasn't in the picture. And they reject you? That's whatever. If she is your friend you'll move past it? Your friendship was there before feelings. But this whole you're not enough nonsense is stupid. People value different things? What people find attractive varies. It's not a matter of your w…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 12:51 AM
16

It helps you untangle your negative thought processes that tend to be a big contributor in issues with dating/relationships. Also self esteem issues and learning to utilize your internal locus of control. There are also different types of therapy. EDMR if you have a history of trauma and traumatic things. CBT which is standard therapy where it challenges negative thoughts. DBT which is like CBT but focuses on emotional regulation. It's trial and error. It is also dependent on the work you put in…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 04:36 AM
–

Honestly for men it's a lack of effort in style. Style is a way to express yourself and what you are into. It's how they wear their hair accessorize themselves. Which to me is pretty changeable. I see guys out here in a smelly T-shirt. Baseball cap messy unwashed hair. Messy jeans. Unkempt beard.. it's like come on bro. But definitely style. Maybe that's more about why I prefer alt/goth guys? They style themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 09:20 PM
1

I think it's so varied. I think the guy I'm talking to is "average" but I find him really cute?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 04:43 AM
1

What's an average looking guy? Like statistically. Most men are average statistically speaking. And I likely find an average guy very attractive? Because if a majority of men are average. What I find attractive is likely in that mix.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 08:48 PM
2

Y'all don't talk about it?! Like me and my friends all talk about our "types". Like when you go out together? Like it's kinda common knowledge. Like regular conversation I think. Like if I am out with my friends we all can kinda see who we would like. Mine? Nerdy, effeminate, alternative twink guys? Like no hesitation.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 04:00 PM
16

Some women are. I think most women are happy single or make the most of it until they find someone they really want to be with. Good Relationship> Single > Bad Relationship So if you meet someone who checks your boxes and like and they are value to your life(whatever that value is). That's a step up from being single. You found a good relationship. Being single is the baseline so it's not good or bad it's just the state you are at right now. Then you have a bad relationship. Where you lose value…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 08:15 PM
7

I am not putting my romantic life on pause. Life sucks. Feelings won't be reciprocated. It is what it is. My friend if they are my friend and not just pedestalizing me and putting me in the potential interest box. Would know what my type is? And likely know I do not see them that way. I would hope They have the emotional maturity to move past it. If they value the friendship and do not see my company as a means to end to possibly get access to me romantically or sexually. I would not want to tip…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 08:09 PM
3

I think "blue pill" is anything contrary to the pilled ideologies. It's understanding dating dynamics and relationships are a lot more variant and nuanced than the red pill/pink pill/black pill would have you believe. Where one side its absolute truths and you have to navigate dating with these rules. The other is just NOT that. Understanding people and experiences and things are different. It's not this economic and absolute thing. In my own experience and going outside you see people who defy …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 06:22 PM
1

Exactly this unless there is an explicit conversation! If we are casual okay I'll treat it casually. I will see other people? No title is fine. But I am single too? It's a hard boundary because men would have you yearn over them and play girlfriend. While they still shop around. It avoids situationships because you can shop around as well. They want the companionship, the attention, and affection without having the responsibility. Then will cry foul if they feel like they got played. It's power …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:56 AM
2

They want the power that comes with it. "Women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of relationships". so they like they idea they can finesse sex and exclusivity from a woman they had no intention of actually making their girlfriend. It's a power move it strokes their ego that they get to be in charge and call the shots. But when that dynamic is out the window or lord forbid she plays the same game. Suddenly they are condemning the woman. They want girlfriend privileges at hook u…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 05:47 PM
0

I don't really care what a lonely man does with his own time and if he wants to approach women go for it? Good luck bro may the force be with you. I think an issue with a lot of "lonely" men. Is they reject themselves before they get rejected. So they assume women will think the worst about them or think they are ugly what have you. And they focus so much on the outcome of approaching women? Instead of it being baby steps maybe you don't get a phone number/social exchange. But you approached and…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 01:58 PM
3

Agreed. Some of the most anti-man things I have heard about men are spoken by other men here. That men are primal sex crazed beasts who can care less about the woman because their biological imperativ. They don't love the same way. Men are only as loyal as their options. That men do not want to be faithful. And it's just to be accepted as a woman. Men are just simple minded creatures who don't care about the deep stuff. Men decrease the value of women if they touch them. Yeah it's pretty anti-ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 12:12 AM
–

I think it's because a lot of men have let the cat out of the bag per se. That they see relationships as a troublesome burden they have to endure to get sex. That our whole existence to them isn't about love and about what role we are meant to play in their life. I think a lot of men have shown they are emotionally unsafe, transactional, and porn brained. That men are only as loyal as their options. That it's a power struggle of control and dominance. Nothing conducive to connection, mutual resp…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 04:31 PM
3

This is the same assumption of "ugly guy good" "attractive guy bad". The concept of value is so subjective. What someone finds valuable and wants in someone is going to differ depending on the woman. Some women want money? Want to be a SAHM and would want someone who can provide that lifestyle. Some women like the building their empire with their partner. Dating is completely preferences. You are looking for people you would vibe with. It's not "hypergamy" it's literally looking for guys you wil…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 06:36 PM
1

All dating advice/rules are impossible, contradictory, and circular. I think with the plethora of online "dating coaches", "relationship coaches" and dating content. It creates this YOU have to do these things because it worked for me. But you are that person. It speaks to these BROAD generalizations about each other. And I think why we are in the mess that we are in this grand year of 2025. "All women want is 6-6-6" " All men lie and cheat for sex". High Value this and that. It's all bullshit. …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 05:45 PM
–

Preferences are totally fine. The reasoning for the preferences is may be where you hit some hiccups. If that makes sense? I want a "younger" woman because she's not jaded it's just biology bro! Older women have way too much baggage. Young women are sweet and don't know better. Basically it makes you look like the problem. I want a low body count woman. If you have a lower count I get it. Maybe religious reasons I understand. But this whole she is dirty and ran through nonsense is just stupid. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 01:46 PM
0

I don't think it does. Me and my friends all have different things we are looking for. Everyone's "20%" will look vastly different. I will say I find a small minority of men attractive. I have preferences and things I am looking for that make me go "hmmm yeah he's cute" and all of it is not just looks related. It's how well we vibe. Is there chemistry and interest? Their scent. Banter. Like it's a lot more than just physical attraction. It's not like men's where they are spontaneous about desire…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 02:07 PM
5

Why can’t it just be a preference that’s biological ? Because it's really not? It's psychological. Women who had sex suddenly don't have some indicator that would signal she is no longer virginal or heaven forbid has casual sex. Like a red line or something doesn't appear to say we have been tainted!! Inb4 hymen, not a good indicator hymens differ you can have sex and not burst the hymen be a virgin and not have a hymen. And if we were going STRICTLY biology. Bonobos have more female clans they …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 09:08 PM
1

It's like this: It's under this assumption that sex is done to women. Not with women. That our vaginas are supposed to be factory vacuum sealed for your pleasure and no one else could have seen or touched it because it's yours now. That we were not a whole living breathing/existing human before this man entered our life. And our humanity may have involved sex because sex is a thing living beings experience. That we must have lived our life for this person we don't know haven't met yet and remain…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 07:50 PM
2

I think you should be. It puts you more in alignment with people who may be on the same page as you. When you are honest. Being honest doesn't mean being crass and I just wanna fuck. It makes it weird there's pressure now. It's not fun and spur of the moment there is an expectation now. "I'm only seeking casual I don't do relationships/don't want a relationship" - perfect. 20/10. No rejection. (Even though possible you may not see something long term with this person and would be serious with so…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 07:13 PM
3

The spark is important. I don't think it's showmanship and wowing your socks off. It's more like an "it" factor? Which is entirely terrifying because it's completely and utterly dependent on the other person and if they think you have that "it" factor. Its usually something super mundane? At least for me. It's the way they smile or a cute quirk you notice about them that kind of makes them endearing. It can't be performed it's just a part of who they are that makes them unique to you? And makes …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 07:48 PM
2

Time. I think it is time. I think a lot of people have been burned by lovebombing so it makes everyone a bit jumpy. Because leading with heavy interest and affection seems like something you should want? If you meet someone and you are blowing up their phone "I've never met someone like you and I have a mad crush on you" after meeting them once? That's weird. You don't know them. They don't know you. Relax pump the brakes. You get their number they go on a date with you successful first date wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 07:07 PM
8

Ugly guys love bomb? Love bombing isn't a hot vs. ugly thing. I think it's easier to spot in someone you don't find attractive. So that's why it is an ick and comes off as desperate. But when you get attention and affection and interest from someone you can see it as interest? But love bombing regardless of attractive vs unattractive is still a major red flag. It's a manipulation tactic to sweeten you up.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 06:06 PM
4

I don't really think there is a "war". Women have become more independent. Not needing men for survival. And we can choose men we want that add to our lives. Some men don't like this very much and are scrambling and finger pointing because they don't want to look that maybe being a sexless bitter miserable scrooge is scaring women off. There are men out there who don't subscribe to the online manosphere commentary and generally cool dudes. But the male side hasn't been very compelling. It's bad …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 08:58 PM
0

And that means the vetting is working as it should? Because I wouldn't want to be with someone that is like that? It's boundaries working as they should. And if a man has issues with MY boundaries that is likely not a good fit for me? No one's time gets wasted. There are plenty of women who prefer an LTR. A lot of men are just emotionally stunted and obsessed with power dynamics that they can't form healthy relationships with women. They don't hate men in en masse its just a lot of men have show…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 04:12 PM
0

I'm atheist. But typically if you are looking for a long term steady committed relationship. And you do not want to be used for sex and actually have a relationship with someone. You tend to be a bit more careful. And men have said here and pretty much anywhere. "I don't like her but still would smash". Or withhold the ever so important information that they do not take this person seriously but intend to reap all the benefits of the connection. So having sex with this person would be a dead end…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 03:40 PM
–

What's considered "man hatred" to you? We should start there.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:44 AM
–

Oh you picked a guy that YOU find attractive. He's going to cheat on you or just want sex from you because you didn't pick THE NICE GUY who you don't find attractive. Then insert the negging comments to try and "humble" women. God forbid a woman have self esteem
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 11:47 PM
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I think social media/these kind of forums. Men have kind of showed their unwashed bums (literally). If you look at comment sections on any single woman's Instagram talking about something that isn't man centered you have "have fun dying alone with your cats" "She is only holding out for a chad" "she's ran through and mad Chad won't look at her" "won't be saying that when she hits the wall" when the video is about traveling, living alone, and maybe a lack of interest in dating. What you think is …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 08:49 PM
–

You guys love to throw around the word "Accountability". What are we supposed to be accountable for? For having preferences? I can't be accountable for every woman. Or the drunk street interviews the TRP guys love to throw around showing women's "delusional" standards. As that's supposed to be ALL women. I can't be accountable for believing and trusting a guy who came off as trustworthy consistent and considerate? But then betrayed me? I am not responsible for his behavior. Only removing myself …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 02:32 AM
1

"don't buy the cow if you can get the milk for free". In regards to a woman having sex early and having no intent of committing to her. Not to mention women who want to avoid getting pumped and dumped. Typically you have to be more mindful about sex. "She's a very freaky girl the kind you don't take home to mother" - Rick James "Superfreak" If you are looking for a commitment and a partner as a woman. You have to hold yourself to a certain standard. And also make sure the man you are dating and …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 05:24 PM
7

Not very often. I say this because most of the time outside of social media most women's expectations are pretty realistic. I'm into him. He doesn't treat me like crap. We have stuff in common. I enjoy their company.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 03:45 PM
–

No? The physical attraction thing will lead you on a wild goose chase. Because there is few rare universally attractive men. Where everyone can kind of agree and go oh yeah. Like first thing that comes to mind is 90s Brenden Fraiser. Where me and my friend group all agree yeah he's cute. Physical attraction is up to the beholder. It's so subjective. My type is not going to be my friends type my friend's type is definitely not my type. And my friends will roast me, "I'll be like oh he's hot" and …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 08:06 PM
1

I think there is a difference lust and feeling horny for the person you are with is a given. You should want to have sex with and be sexual with someone you find desirable. A "lustful man" in this instance is the creepy guys on dating apps that go straight to sex. It's the guy who watches porn constantly. It's the objectification. It's the dehumanizing that comes with sex. It's the guy who will cheat and check out other women while in a relationship with you and compare you to other women. Nothi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 03:27 PM
-2

There is other ways of finding someone attractive that do not involve sex. Is she physically affectionate with you. Like holding your hand glad to be seen walking beside you kissing you. Proud of you. She likely finds you very attractive. But wouldn't hook up with you. Does she make herself available? She's probably really into you. Does she want to bring you around her friends and family? She probably finds you really attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 08:05 PM
13

You kinda put women in a Kafka trap of sorts with this. If she puts out too fast/has sex too fast. She's easy, she's for the streets. She shouldn't be taken seriously because who else has she hooked up with fast? Recreational use only. Her body count must be astronomical and insert all the other terrible assumptions. She's a slut. If she doesn't have sex right away and really wants to get to know you and enjoy spending time with you without sex being on the table. She's "not interested". Or she …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 07:44 PM
1

While I don't disagree that there is a lot of women who do the same thing. I think with women that lack of self awareness ends up leading to a lot of painful experiences in dating. So they turn inward and start to grow and change their patterns. So they course correct after a few bad experiences. Men have a strong incentive for emotional maturity, growth and to be likeable so they can get (sexual access), so they at least fake it until the job is done. And that's the main issue. They do this for…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 05:23 PM
6

I think a lot of men are emotionally stunted and lack self awareness. They take the path of least resistance, so instead of looking inward at "I may be selfish l, this behavior I have done was not good" they double down on things like "it's just biology bro" and online content that caters to the mindset that keeps them selfish and lacking self awareness and fuels that entitlement. There is an insane lack of empathy. When a lot of men talk about dating woes. It's a lack of sex or interest from wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 04:26 PM
1

I have a type. A lot of men are not my "type". And I like what I like. Its mostly neutral or I am not interested. There has to be something else to move the needle if they are not my immediate oh hell yeah type. I am not speaking for all women just myself. But for me not a lot of guys are that hot for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 12:36 AM
3

Decentering means not doing things for the attention of men. Not having your worth in regards to what the opposite gender thinks is attractive or would get them chosen. Men could learn a thing or two. It's about not performing to be chosen but just living authentically and doing things you like. Regardless of what imaginary panel of men or women may think of your actions. You are in the driver seat of your own life. Desperation and "pick me" energy is really unattractive no matter what gender. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 02:10 PM
13

Quite the opposite. My self worth has been in the gutter. It probably wasn't until like recent years. I am actually conventionally attractive. I have done pin up modeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 06:25 AM
16

In regards to a man and my standards. If I meet my own standards. I am attractive I cultivate my look and generally put a lot of effort into my appearance, I have a good job. I have hobbies. A decent social life. I am personable and likeable. I have cultivated a lot of niche interests and would want to be with someone who gets it or appreciates that. Why is it so far-fetched to expect the same or someone equal? Or someone on the same level as me? Without incredibly selling myself short and being…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 04:52 AM
3

Nerdy tech geek. What the hell? Is this even a question
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 01:17 AM
3

Some were really cute. Some were cute. And some where just not really my type at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 11:56 PM
2

I think it depends on the woman? And her attitudes in regards to sex and sexual activity. Some people tend to be more liberal about sex. And more open to exploration. Other women have strict boundaries in regards to sex (no sex outside of relationships. No sex before marriage). It depends on the woman and her own values? I would imagine it's similar for men as well. Some men want to sleep around and get "experience". Some men aren't so focused on that and actually value partnership.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 04:20 PM
5

I think because most people are wary of going out with strangers and not trying to attach too much to it? Because ghosting, likely incompatible and them likely dating and seeing other people you have to remember early on you are an option as much as them. Sadly it is robotic but I think that's the nature of dating culture today. I think also the use of frames? Is kind of weird it's a date? Not a power struggle relax into it have fun chit chat have a drink. I think wanting power dynamics is the t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 04:19 PM
1

Why put some kind of label on it. A hook up? A fling? As long as it's mutually agreed upon? I think setting boundaries on what is and isn't acceptable works too. Also leaving some space for communication if someone has feelings because they are human and deserve to be treated as such. Personally I think my casual relationships have more boundaries than my exclusive relationships. But I think "situationship" is more a guy leading with romantic intentions but actually just wanting casual omitting …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 10:02 PM
0

A situationship is a bit more insidious. It's a lot of extra effort to get casual sex and reaping girlfriend benefits at hook up prices. A very unilateral deal basically made by lying about intent, doing boyfriend shit, and some level of exclusivity. Basically exclusive for thee but not for me. I don't think there's an issue with being casual but treat it casually? He's not your boyfriend you're not his girlfriend. A friend's situation with no romantic undertones. Don't do shit for them. Maybe h…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:13 PM
4

Or dating and relationships aren't something that is DEI? And something more on individual preferences and desires.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 06:25 PM
12

So you are a conservative? It says in your flair. So you must feel a certain way about DEI. What you are implying is essentially DEI for men. That women regardless of their wants and needs. Should take on a man they don't want so that way he has someone. Because it's "fair" and for the betterment of society or we are reverting back to caveman days.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 12:21 PM
3

When I casually hooking up I'm not really in the space for a relationship and I am single. So yeah? I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:46 PM
2

I think expecting princess treatment and rolling out the red carpet for a first date is a little excessive. I think honestly it sets expectations too high for both parties. When you can do drinks and something small to get a feel for one another. Drinks or shared activities means you can spend time together plan something and it's effort. Without having to break the bank or get locked into a dinner with someone you don't like. But princess treatment is like begging to be love bombed or that your…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 01:04 AM
–

I always say "thank you" but that's just me. Even if a person bought me a drink and I wasn't interested. But I think drinks are ideal because I can buy my own drink? And just get to know them. But a public meeting that is somewhat planned out is a bare minimum. I don't think coffee dates/or walks (I'm not a dog we walk our dogs not our dates) are not the move and really low effort. Or they are serial daters and entertaining other women. But something intentional that takes time like drinks. Unfo…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 03:28 AM
–

I think if men want a woman they should put in some kind of work. Not all stops complete princess treatment. I think that's outlandish for a first date. But effort would be nice. Like planning a date and it not being their house. As a bare minimum standard. Like a public space where we talk and get to know each other heck grab drinks something low pressure. It's not gestures a little bit of effort goes a long way. Something that says hey I want to get to know you more than I want to have sex wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 01:07 AM
–

That's my issue and the most heinous treatment. Hot women have the most extensive dating lore it should be studied. It's usually betrayal and mistreatment. Like they court you and then suddenly they don't want anything serious what would make you think that. Well you were courting me and were aware of my intentions/boundaries. One of us is lying here. I think being "hot" opens you up to the worst behavior I swear. Yeah same I stopped dating because of quality issue and mistreatment. I enjoy just…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 11:25 PM
–

If high maintenance means basic commitment like we are only seeing each other and we are established? Don't treat me like shit? And actually like me not pretend to like me? And you know respect me as a person have basic empathy and hopefully good communication skills. Don't objectify me. Then sure very high maintenance. A lot of men aren't up to snuff. Which is kind of sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 11:20 PM
–

Yeah that's the worst part. Is the lusting. And then they seem so baffled that you are offended. You feel like a trophy to get but they don't actually want you. It's something.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 09:09 PM
–

This is just my experience. But I feel like I am treated as an object towards the end. Because you definitely do not treat a person like that? Also I was being metaphorical with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 09:06 PM
–

Dating is pretty difficult for me personally it's a quality vs quantity issue. I am currently on hiatus and really just focusing on myself and on curating my own happy for awhile. I had a really bad break up that just kind of shattered me as a person and I am picking up the pieces. I have no issue getting male attention. Random DMs. If I go out men will talk to me. I won't even try most nights i can drink for free. I am fairly attractive. I stay active. I clean up nice. I model here and there. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 03:57 PM
1

It's not expected. I think it's silly to expect someone to NOT have baggage. And vice versa. People have baggage. It's what you do with it that matters. If you make your baggage someone else's burden to deal with you are doing it wrong. If you use your baggage and experiences to help you navigate the complex and very nuanced scene that is dating you're doing it right. Now testing people and demanding more of people is trying to control others because of your baggage. And making it known like on …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 01:23 PM
4

I think it's a bit more simple than that. It's "ego". A lot of these guys have probably had some kind of significant wounding. A lot of rejection or a really gnarly break up. Basically something that wounded that ego and they fall into the red pill/manosphere/PUA pipeline. And instead of processing it, sitting with it, and getting the self awareness and tools to move forward from that experience. It's going to instead be something that they can project their insecurities and vitriol on. You can …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 01:24 PM
7

I think it's because they are always available. It's not about women actually demanding them. They are simply more available and thrive off of low effort/shallow connections. Which is why they thrive on dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 08:45 PM
4

I think it has to do more with circumstance than about "women" These serial cheaters, avoidants, and fuck boy kinds are going to be heavy in the dating scene. More so than a decent guy who finds a woman and takes himself off the dating scene. He won't be back in the rotation he is out he got what he wanted she got what she wanted. But the players and cheaters. And generally just the "asshole" kind of guys are going to be heavily saturated in the dating scene because they are always "single" and …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 04:39 PM
–

I mean I think there has to be SOME attraction. You have to be okay with them somewhat physically. But I think the having a six figure job. Having this or having that. If you like the guy enough you'll see past it. My ex was balding. And I still thought he was prettiest man I have ever seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 11:11 AM
–

Yeah usually they can. We can't have a cookie cutter imprint of what we want? Our perfect person doesn't exist? You can't tailor a human to meet every single demand you have that's not realistic. And we aren't settling by dating someone who doesn't have all of the traits we are looking for. So if a guy has a cute face but is not tall. That cute face will make up for not being tall. And that's way better than someone tall? A guy may not be exceedingly handsome but man he's a great conversationali…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 12:36 AM
1

You get an idea of them that dating apps simply cannot give you. Guys in their profile could not be attractive in person. Endless swiping to meet one and then it's like a sunk cost fallacy. The guys in apps are weird and pushy about sex. Even when you are looking for something more casual it just gives desperate weirdo energy or love bombing. Way more effort on the apps it's just not fun. Meeting at a bar. You have something in common. Alcohol lowers inhibitions a little so it makes it easier to…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 01:21 PM
1

It's because a lot of men here view sex as some kind of prize the woman is the unfortunate hurdle they have to go through to have sex. It's a transactional mindset if I do xyz women will give me sex. That everything they have to do is means to end for sex. Not realizing you are having sex WITH a person with. Sex is not some prize or ultimate trophy. It's sex. Husband material/boyfriend material applies keeper. You are someone who may be worth something. Not my money or resources. Like I find you…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 04:33 PM
2

I wasn't defensive? I'm sorry it came off that way 😭 Oh I agree that sleeping around still requires effort. But also you're not going through the labor of a relationship. You aren't ready for a relationship. So dating seriously where you can't show up I guess emotionally? So likely emotionally unavailable or preoccupied with other things. She has other obligations which she's not putting into a partner. Maybe lacking the emotional bandwidth for dating seriously. I guess it could be a rebound? I …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 03:51 AM
–

I expect them to grow up and not be violent and attack women. Most people if they are feeling undesirable? Do things to make themselves feel desirable. Put themselves in more social situations where they meet other people? Put effort into their appearance? Work on self confidence. Work on self esteem. But no let's blame and threaten women and not do anything to change our current situation. Seems rational. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 03:34 PM
–

For me personally it is the same? I wouldn't want a relationship let alone marry someone I have to convince myself to be with like physical attraction is a given. "Husband material" just meets a lot more criteria. Like we are compatible, he put in effort for me, he's emotionally safe, and of course he's hot. This is someone I consistently want to have sex with and wouldn't get tired of consistently having sex with. I'm giving 100% more. When looking at hook ups it's literally just is this person…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 12:59 PM
14

That women don't date seriously? Sometimes it's just as simple as not wanting a relationship in the moment. Maybe life is just too busy work, social life and hobbies that a relationship could take away from that. Also a lot of women who are divorced/broken up aren't looking to rebound and fill the boyfriend role right away or just more interested in casually dating as opposed to something long term. Some women just enjoy being single. So instead if they want sex will just entertain something cas…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 05:03 AM
2

There's a looks threshold for sure you aren't going to take the ugliest guy home with you. Most of the time go without. You are obviously looking for physical attraction. Maybe it's because I'm more "old school". I don't use the apps to hook up. I just go out and meet guys in the wild doing some kind of social thing clubs, bars, parties stuff like that? So it's usually who do I think is hot here and generally how the evening goes with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 04:27 PM
30

Sometimes you aren't in the capacity for a relationship or dating seriously. You just want fun and intimacy without the feelings. So hook ups are great. It's a new experience. It's fun. You meet new people. You don't have to be so rigid and figure out intentions when you are like I want to have fun too. Orgasms and pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 04:23 PM
4

It's not though. A "hookup" guy is a throw away guy. If you have sex and won't be phased if you don't hear from them the next day. Usually they pass the bare minimum attraction threshold. You're not the hottest of the hot. Its you're available, I'm kinda in the mood. You're not gauging compatibility. Can you become more with a casual guy upon realizing there's compatibility but you do not take them seriously if at all initially. If you are using a hook up as a settling for a relationship because…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 01:09 PM
0

Holy black and white thinking. Desperate guy is unattractive because desperate guy just wants a woman shaped vessel in his life. It's not the person as an individual it's a woman any woman. And that's a turn off for most people. You aren't picking this person because there are qualities you want it is just I'm so lonely. Kind of a turn off. Most of the women that are into the incarcerated men are desperate and unattractive I am guessing as well and do not do well in conventional dating. So much …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 05:08 PM
1

Why would you want to be with someone desperate and lonely? Why would anyone want to be with someone desperate and lonely man or woman? That's not technically how you can have a healthy good relationship with anyone. This isn't something based upon chemistry, shared interest and values, and reciprocity. It's please pick me I am so lonely 🥺.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 04:41 PM
1

I think dating inmates and falling for emotional manipulation in dating/relationships are different. It's like you are comparing apples to oranges and saying see because it's fruit they are the same. Most women do not willingly chase after or want an incarcerated boyfriend. Does it happen? Sure. There's something to be said about those women. Who seek those kind of arrangements. Most likely like the fantasy of having someone they can't really be with because behind bars. It's like a pen pal rela…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 04:17 PM
-1

I think that's what it is. We are like if we feel like we aren't doing enough we will change our wardrobe try a new style. Work on our confidence. Do something so we feel better and more confident. And there are things just marketed as do you wanna feel sexier so we want to try it. I think a lot of it is human nature. It's easy to blame something we can't change and say SEE it's because I am not _____. It's easier to be helpless than do effort and change. Because one takes more effort and may no…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 06:14 PM
1

Because for women our looks have always been a solutions based problem. Lose weight, skin care, regular hair care, make up, teeth whitening and braces fashion, jewelery, a sense of style. Charisma. Social skills. Basically if you feel ugly you aren't trying hard enough in these areas and can do more. Basically hearing this before we were even teenagers. So when men complain about it being outside their control we are like okay? Now I feel for dudes who are just unfortunate. Short and balding act…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 01:21 PM
4

We get dogpiled if we do dogpiled if we don't. "I want a man I am attracted to" - "well of course he is going to treat you bad attractive men have options what makes you better than all of his options?! You're just chasing Chad of course you're gonna get hurt!" "I don't find this conventionally attractive trait attractive or I don't look at that" - "Why are you virtue signalling you ACTUALLY do like it. Statically women like x trait so you are lying" I have also gotten " well you must be unattra…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 12:46 PM
4

Currently not in relationship. Me and my ex split recently. I don't really want to date don't feel ready don't want to. I do a lot of social activities like go out and meet others. But I'm not really dating or trying to date at the moment. But I think love is the deciding factor. I think loving someone and wanting a loving partnership is the reason why women want to be in relationships. Not for transactions or provisions. I would rather be with someone who loved me, than someone who just pays fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 05:46 PM
9

You find someone you love. Love is a wonderful thing. And finding a partner and someone to share your life with is a goal. I think a lot of women want that. But the dating scene at the moment is just not really it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 04:23 PM
2

People in general give bad advice. We don't know your situation or what's going on. And it depends on who you ask. A women who is an acquaintance may give vague advice. A woman who is your friend may be more blunt. Men want us to walk them through dating. And navigate it with them and that's not happening. It's your problem and you have to find your solution. We aren't going to play matchmaker. It's YOU and of course there is generalities (shower, groom, style yourself) but really we aren't you …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 01:25 PM
0

You guys do realize a relationship isn't about power struggles right. Like you should be able to relate to this person and enjoy spending time with them? Like do you like the people you date or do you see it as some kind of battle strategy?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 03:59 PM
1

Expecting princess treatment from the get go. Like expensive first dates. Mentions buying gifts and presents and feels like you should buy them to date her. All ex's are abusive. Now a lot of people have shitty ex's. But it's like all my ex's were crazy. Now deeper exploration is needed. Ask questions and see if the behavior lines up. No ambition. No curiosity. Just boring. Freshly out of a relationship. She is bleeding and hurt she's likely not going to be giving her best. Drug use. Unemployed.…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 03:28 PM
1

It's intent. Meaning the man knows he just wants sex nothing else but chooses to not make that known up front. If you withhold an important part of information that the man is only seeking this for sex but pretends he is trying to court her. Yes she can and will feel used. But if it is a hook up with no indication it could be something more. And she feels used that is on her and she should be a bit stricter on boundaries. There are ways to vet this. But the men get really mad. You wait to have s…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 03:12 PM
-1

Because the 80/20 theory isn't true as a whole. Yes, we are attracted to a smaller group of men. It's just how we are, I'm not going to find every man attractive on the virtue that he is a man and I am heterosexual. You have a room of 100 men are you are mingling with those 100 men. Maybe like 75% are just not my type. So eliminate 75 of them. That leaves 25%. Out of those 25 maybe 20% of them aren't interested in me in the slightest (married/gay/I'm not their type). Okay that's fine so then we …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 03:03 PM
1

I don't know if there is a percentage. I think there's varying degrees of misogyny more so than just Like the "nice guy" performative guy who is so about supporting women but will try to string a woman along in a situationship kind of guy. But he respects women if you ask him. Then there is the Red Pill/Incel guys. Who teeter into blatant misogyny to actual misogyny (Nick Fuentes and your body my choice comes to mind) They are both misogynistic. But differing degrees of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 07:47 PM
1

No. I think this by and large a projection. Oh this guy got a girl he must be better than me. I think it's the idea this person rejected me so they are going to be rejected too. It reduces dating to some kind of hierarchal system. And it's not. I think first everyone's top% person looks different. And it also depends on where they are in life and what they value. This thing isn't static it's dynamic. So what one person considers a top person. Someone else would be like really. It all depends on …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 04:34 PM
2

its because this. Women don't pick me on this app. Okay that sucks. Women's standards are too high they only want blah blah blah. And then it turns into a whole finger pointing thing. Then talking about self loathing. About how we want only the top man and this and that. And that's where you lost us. Blame the app. Blame the app, it's not showing you to enough people. There is a higher male to female ratio on apps. So it's like 70/30 or something crazy. Most women don't like dating apps. Because…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 05:55 PM
-1

Rejection and feeling overlooked.. feeling lonely. Desiring something that feels unobtainable. Feeling less than because other people have it easy why can't I? Crippling low self esteem due to previous experiences. Bad break ups. Cheating. Feeling like no matter what you do it's not working for you. Constantly comparing yourself to other men. Bad actors on dating sites. Women expecting princess treatment and red carpet treatment for a first date. Emotional exhaustion from swipe culture. Like I g…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 07:03 PM
-1

I understand men go through rejection. It sucks...
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 06:06 PM
3

For arguments sake. Because this is 110% true. I would say a lot of men here that whine and complain the loudest and say the most sexist drivel. Are likely very inexperienced, antisocial, have some kind of underlying mental health issue or neurodivergent, and chronically online. So when you are force fed "male dating advice". Because it floods these guys algorithms really fast. You gravitate towards red pill spaces. It feels good to be validated that hey it is women they are shallow hypergamous …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 04:44 PM
5

You said it best here. This is exactly it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 05:58 PM
4

Are we talking in context of a romantic relationship? Or are we talking in general?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 06:22 PM
3

I live by "it's not the destination that matters to me it's the journey I take to get there". It's a lyric from the band The Garden. The steps I take to get to it matter more? I think things will fall into place as I go along. Whether it's traveling around the world living a life full of experiences. Or living a quaint life with my partner. I'll figure it out as it comes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 02:13 AM
2

Here's my best take, it really depends on who you are talking to. And I think claiming harassment for someone being friendly is stupid. A simple "Hello" "how's it going" heck even a compliment. "I like your style(it's broad enough that you aren't sounding creepy it could be a vibe and how she carries herself, it could be her literal outfit looks nice but its appreciated)" these are super neutral. Honestly just being neutral and let it go one way or another without trying to force some outcome. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 02:08 AM
6

I just want to live. I got the career and big girl money. Currently really enjoying my traveling arc. I pay for solo trips abroad and just live. I don't know if I will get married or have kids. I'm not thinking about it too much. I am in a relationship. I am not thinking that far ahead as in this grand scale plan and timeline of events that just have to happen. You put too much pressure on yourself that everything has to fall into place.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 01:50 AM
1

I could be automatically disqualified from the beginning and having your confidence squashed constantly isn’t fun. thats the thing with dating though. Most people are looking for their own thing. Their own plus one? And it looks different depending on the person. So sometimes you automatically disqualify. They just aren't into you. I think there is no universal thing. I agree with people saying don't do x women don't like that. Is stupid. Because some women may not. Some may.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 10:21 PM
12

Dating advice is contradictory? People aren't just NPCs with unlockable romance options if you have the right stats and approach the right way. Some people don'tind being approached some are more introverted and would feel put off. Some people like to be asked out right away. Some find it a big jarring and feel uncomfortable. Everyone is different with their own preferences, desires, attitudes, and expectations from someone. People aren't monoliths and universal. The best thing with most dating …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 04:43 PM
22

Women don't like casual sex that much? We are damned if we do. (Slut, Run through, Damaged goods, for the streets). If we do partake in casual sex. Damned if we don't we are constantly harped on about how men are lonely. And we also hear how guys will lower their standards for women they aren't attracted to. And how we are subpar women. They don't respect women they sleep with. So no I don't really care if a guy can't get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 11:02 PM
5

Early on in dating I don't expect consistent communication. I'm just getting to know this person. So good morning texts, texting 24/7 would be a bit too much for someone I just went on a date with. My experience is guys that do this are usually chasing feelings and not so much looking to date. I would say if there is no intention to meet in person. There is no consistent date plans. Then to give up. So if you are throwing out date ideas and they are "busy" "can't I have this" and making excuses …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 01:16 PM
2

"Emotional unavailability" isn't something that just comes standard with someone like a red flag you just see off the bat. It's something unfortunately you have to learn about someone as you progress. Whether it's early on in dating or later. And it's not just manifesting as just a guy who hits it and quits it. It's a guy who will get in a relationship with you, and doesn't really connect. It's an elbows length approach to relationships. It's the relationship having an expiration date, because i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 01:07 PM
1

I'm a relationship it's very happy and very healthy. A lot of these men are hurt and bitter and lack essential social skills so they break everything down to statistics and "truths". A lot of self esteem issues. Everything is with a grain of salt and broad generalizations. Online dating advice is polarizing for both sides. Men get the red pill/alpha bruh stuff. Women get the same but different. And it just breeds contempt and distrust for either side.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:50 PM
2

There are probably a lot too. Because they didn't like them at first and they grew on them. And it became mutual attraction. Just like there are people who have sex on the first date and get married. Or like a situationship that turned into a relationship. Exceptions usually aren't the rule.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 04:22 PM
7

Let's use Occam's razor here. Why would someone subject themselves to being mistreated and neglected? Waste her own time and get her feelings hurt because the guy was unattractive and she wanted to dunk on the unattractive guy. Like you are the more logical sex right? Or was it this guy played the part of good boyfriend until he felt like he didn't need to do it anymore. He is "comfortable". He doesn't have to do as much. He stops courting her. Starts negging her and breaking her self esteem bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:12 AM
8

It serves as a reminder that you shouldn't give chances. You shouldn't date someone you feel like you giving a chance to? You should date someone you have mutual interest in. It just works better for both parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 04:07 AM
15

Sure let's break this down. Mr. Cocky good looking guy: Is likely very charming and can get most women easily. Meaning if you are looking for something more serious this dude won't wait or play the long game. He probably has more women he is talking to. He is flakey and inconsistent and talks with breadcrumbs. So eventually you get sick of only hearing from him sporadically and he's making no qualms about getting to know you. So you drop him. After talking for a month but no follow through on hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 07:30 PM
26

The unattractive man does not always mean a good guy. A lot of women have a story about a guy they gave a chance to. And he ended up doing them really dirty. Because your appearance doesn't dictate how nice you will be. Short introverted chubby men can be absolute demons too. Let people choose who they want to be with. You can't predict the outcome of someone's behavior externally.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 06:13 PM
4

I think calling someone pretty is okay. That's usually innocent. But if you just go on and on about their physical appearance then its kinda like.. we get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 03:09 AM
2

This is where consent comes in. The answer is consent. A stranger you just started talking to doesn't want to hear about how perky her breasts are. Or asked if she does anal. She is just getting to know you. Probably doesn't consent to getting sexual. Someone you are seeing for awhile. May want to hear how turned on she is making you while you guys are making out and she's grinding on your crotch. Like.... That's fine. Y'all are getting sexual. Objectifying is just seeing the person as just sex …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 02:54 AM
1

It's really not. You have base interests/traits that are innately "you". That eventually come out. No one is 100% malleable.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 02:40 PM
1

You really can't. Maybe for a little bit you can cosplay as a man/woman that person is into. But eventually the mask slips? And the rouse becomes exhausting to upkeep. And the real you comes out. This is manipulation. This is gross don't do this. Truthfully you can't control how someone feels about you. They either vibe with it or don't?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 01:32 PM
6

It's really luck based. You can meet 10 people. Let's say they are all your type. All very attractive. Maybe two of those 10 right off the bat reject you. Which is fine. They are like next I'm not into this person I'm not going to talk to this person. But wait there is 8 more people!! 5 of those people, the personality doesn't gel. You can't get a good conversation or get to know them it's like talking to soggy paper. It's boring. They aren't unpleasant but there's no chemistry there. That leave…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 04:23 AM
5

It's ego. And a sense of control. They love the idea of being able to lord their commitment being some kind of thing earned. "What do YOU bring to the table" etc etc. So when someone sees someone's disinterest instead of begging pleading and digging in more to appeal to them. They go oh okay. Usually when men reject it's "I'm busy" it comes with a drastic change in communication and a whole vibe shift. And now rejecting plans for a date without coming up with some plans to date it's a rejection.…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 04:22 PM
3

I also think because it's online you will hear multiple voices on things. Multiple opinions. So it's not lies just multiple experiences and anecdotal evidence. You aren't these people these people aren't you. But it's not a good way to gauge your truth or come up with your own thing on it. Because everyone has a different reality. Not in a crazy kind of way. But my lived experiences are going to be different than someone else's. So what worked for me in dating and relationships may not work for …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 03:01 AM
5

I think because it challenges the assumption that they think they know what we want. You hear it everywhere. We want 6ft men. Or a rich guy. Or a male model. Men want a cheat code to turn our "no" into a "yes". That there is some magic formula and there isn't. Can't tell you why I like what I like. I just do. So that's why when you say I like "this" they say I'm lying.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 11:08 PM
1

Most people want to pair up with the best most compatible partner FOR THEM.. This isn't hypergamy? This is what people who date want to do. It doesn't make sense to want to date someone you aren't into/not compatible with in order to pair up. Most people want a good match FOR them. So it's not these objective traits that are widely sought after it's what is the things I value and do the people I date reflect that. Similar life experiences. Similar hobbies and interests. Shared Values. You know? …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:25 PM
1

Well their bad behavior is on them. How I react or deal with their behavior is on me. You are not in control of how someone is going to treat you. Only thing you can do is manage your expectations and act accordingly. If this person started hot and now is giving you mixed signals. Let them go. Thank them but let them know you value consistency and are more intentional about dating and thank them for their time. Or it seems we are looking for different things. Usually while talking or dating. So …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 05:53 PM
1

I think dating works upon mutual interest? You both kinda find each other attractive and then move from there. It is. I'd just say it's name of of the game not so much my behavior. I take accountability for missing a big red flag. Or not having enough boundaries. Or getting caught in the potential of someone before giving it time for the real to come out before choosing. I admittedly fell for lovebombing/future faking only for it to be just that sweet nothings. A lot of men (NOT all men) will tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 04:29 PM
1

That sounds like a very inconsiderate and juvenile way to date. I'm not saying you or attacking. But the whole thing is comes off as me me me. How I feel. I want my options. I am not fully invested. You are forgetting there is another person involved in this. With feelings and thoughts of their own. They deserve decency and to be informed, a sort of shit or get off the pot kind of mentality. Maybe they should find someone who would love to keep them and appreciates them. But you in your indecisi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 10:26 PM
2

I think in the confines of online dating yes. There's significantly less relationship material people. Since for avoidant men, men who just want casual intimacy. Men who want hook ups the apps are minimal investment. And don't blame them it's impersonal quick and easy and you can swipe while you are taking a shit and get a date later that day. It requires no investment, it's just human shopping. So most men on dating apps will not be relationship material.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 06:47 PM
3

The thing is with commitment. Men act like defining the relationship is literally signing up to get married. It's the end all beat all. This is it. When you are just saying "Hey I'm only going to give you romantic attention for better or worse and see what happens". Women just want that it's certainty. And a relationship could last a few months or years. It could turn into a marriage situation. Because you have to give yourself time to let those deep emotional feelings grow. You can't do that if…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 06:16 PM
1

My perfect man wouldn't have a beard? It's not a matter of throwing them away. It simply doesn't register as attractive I wouldn't be into them I wouldn't approach I wouldn't express interest it doesn't do much for me it just is nil. Egotistical or not. Most of the time when you are dating and looking. You are looking for someone who fits your preferences. It can be a tad egotistical but usually you find someone who meets those preferences. Much like there will be men who will miss all the thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 06:01 PM
1

Nah I'd date a 5'8 guy I dated a guy 5'5 before... I'm just taller than average..
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 07:00 AM
1

I am 5'8. My boyfriend is 6'0. But I am cool with dating 5'9 and 5'10 dudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 06:33 AM
1

It's just not my thing. There's nothing wrong with having a beard? Plenty of dudes love them are proud of them. I just don't find it attractive. And that's okay? I simply wouldn't date or entertain a guy with a beard. It's not my thing. I don't find it beautiful. I know plenty of women do. My boyfriend doesn't have a beard doesn't like facial hair on himself so there's no conflict?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 04:52 AM
17

Most women don't like the "hey I only want to smash this arrangement has an expiration date" when they are dating intentionally. It's like the opposite of what you want to hear. It's basically rejection for women. It's a dead end for most women. It's a waste of time. It's definitely deceptive if you have no intentions of committing. It's a lot of wasted effort and time if you know the whole time. It would be the equivalent of me stringing a guy along having him pay for my trips, my clothes, my b…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 04:00 AM
1

And a lot of guys who preach that women should settle for aren't what women are attracted to? It's not really even about being horrible? It's about being exceptional at something that makes you stand out? If we apply this to nature. Birds that have the best plumage and do the best stompy stomps usually get a mate. Birds that build the best nest? Like there's something that has to make you stick out. Yes it sucks that shitty people can do fine while decent folks get shafted at dating. Which does …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 03:49 AM
10

Alcohol is a huge driving factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 03:35 AM
1

Can't help there. Being unattractive sucks? It's like not having a lot of money sucks. Do people born into wealth have it easier? Yeah. Does it suck? Yeah. Is it fair you may have to work 20xs harder to afford the things that they can do for chump change? Yes. But unfortunately things like that are unfair. You kind of accept the hand you are given. And work on making yourself attractive in other ways. Good social skills? Charismatic? funny? Make her feel safe? Being charming. Oh the horror being…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 03:16 AM
12

Pretty much. you have to filter. Because every guy you meet will be saying I'm looking for something long term. I'm in it for the long haul. And then drop a I've never liked you months later. Bruh you have been talking to me every day. And saying "I like you". So.... I'm confused. It's really kind of doing your own thing for the first few months. And gradually get to know them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 03:08 AM
-1

Well when you are sitting there trying to strategize how to woo a woman. And you talk like you are trying to play a real time strategy game. "The dread game" "push pull tactic" it starts to sound less like you are interacting with opponents more so than with someone you want to convince to like you? Just my two cents. Interact with someone as you would getting to know a friend. Maybe you get to know her and realize shes bonkers. And you are glad you did not go further than a few drinks. When you…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 03:03 AM
2

Pursuing women who aren't into you which only reinforces confirmation bias. "See I tried and she rejected me!" I rest my case. Why try dating taller women then? And instead go for shorter women? And height isn't automatically good looks. Looks is a combination of things. I usually date men taller but it's not astronomically taller.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 12:56 AM
1

That's not quite what I meant.. It's basically the only expectation these men have. If you're not fat. Sure. That's a fair expectation to have and want to date someone who isn't. Unless you meant it as "just don't ask someone out right away", in which case all the advice you gave is garbage and doesn't work. i mean as in this person you meet. Just meet. Match with what have you. And you attach date, sex, romance all this stuff before you even like talk. And how to get to the outcome before even …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 12:51 AM
6

Yeah by my standards of what attractive. There are outliers who will stick out to me. The other guys probably not ugly just not what I'm into? There are probably other women who would like them more than likely. So I like metrosexual alt men. Not really super masculine a little more on the soft side probably couldn't change a tire. My friends joke about the men I date "they look like lesbians". That's my outlier. Are guys who fit that niche. So when I am dating if 90% of the dating pool is beard…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 10:36 PM
10

We do find a majority of men unattractive. But it's not because they are ugly per se. It's just I don't find them attractive. I don't think of myself as a queen goddess and all men must abide by these things I find attractive! I just look for men who meet that threshold. And they exist. And sometimes they like me back because they are people who have their own things they find attractive in someone too sometimes I meet that. We date. I think women have a warped view of attractiveness in self bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 09:45 PM
49

Being horny? More of a random whim kind of thing. There's some sexual chemistry there. Proximity. Availability. Most of the time if you are "dating" meaning going out on dates looking to go on dates. Most of the time it's because you are trying to be more intentional and get to know men. Maybe that's the mix up.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 09:27 PM
18

Not really outraged. It's more like a "you're rude no one really asked?' Kind of reaction. It's a matter of opinion.. looks are always going to be a matter of opinion? I think I am good looking. It doesn't really matter what... "rejected again" thinks because this person is not relevant to my life or is my partner so why would I care. My beauty isn't so I can impress and trick the men I just like to look nice. It's one of those things. So not outraged. But more like okay who asked you? It's just…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 09:03 PM
0

Not a contradiction people do find varying things attractive. Some guys are chubby chasers. Some like muscle mommies. Guys like goth women with tattoos. Some guys think women with tattoos are damaged goods. Like people are looking for varying things. Yet societally women have been told to conform to a beauty standard instead of finding their own thing they like. Typically if you are in your own niche you are happier more confident and people pick up on that. . Also, that pooch is the fat that ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 08:30 PM
1

Where did I say fit men should date fat women? Date who you want. You aren't obligated or HAVE to date someone fat or you don't find yourself attracted to. A fit man doesn't have to date a fat woman, he can if he wants to and he finds her attractive. Managing your expectations is the best. A lot of men come in swinging to potential women they want to date. Like asking out right away and basically putting a lot of pressure in a neutral interaction. It becomes....awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 08:20 PM
1

Depending on the looks yes? There are some semantics in this. A woman who just had a baby with stretch marks and the left over skin and pooch from birthing said baby. And her husband complains about her body. After she just pushed his baby out. Is caring for his baby. Hasn't had time because she has a newborn infant and is recovering from birth. And universally mom bods are shamed. But dad bods are lauded. (I'm using simple examples) Old women are universally shamed. Like it's taboo as a woman t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 07:58 PM
0

It's usually the myriad of issues. Looks are the easiest to blame? Especially if it's not something changeable. Which are also the most subjective thing to blame. It's not denial it's I don't know what that woman wants. Maybe she likes goth men. You're not goth. Maybe she's into fitness so is interested in fitness guys. I don't like beards for example. I think beards are gross? Like there's very few guys who make facial hair appealing to me (Auston Matthews from the Toronto Maple Leafs is litera…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 06:33 PM
0

It's not only their looks. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I think a lot of men struggle with dating for a myriad of reasons. I think looks are just the easiest to blame. "I'm short!" "My hairline" "my jawline!" It's the easiest well I don't have to do anything about it women are just shallow and only go for looks and i don't have them. It's a quick easy cop out. When in reality it's a lack of social skills. Pursuing women who aren't into you which only reinforces confirmation bias. "See I tried and she rejected me!". So…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 06:06 PM
0

I don't think anyone is denying the importance of looks? Like it goes without saying it doesn't need to be said. If you are entering a sexual/romantic relationship with someone you at some BASE level find them appealing looks wise. It's not some grand conspiracy or gaslight or grand denial. Most people want to be physically attracted to the person they are dating. I've never heard someone say "oh yeah my partner? He was ugly as hell! I gagged in my mouth when he tried to kiss me, i viscerally fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 05:50 PM
-1

Pride and a lack of accountability. "Ask a fisherman how to catch fish, Don't ask the fish how to be caught". Not realizing women aren't prey or resource to be obtained. And they are seriously harming their chances at having a good relationship with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 05:21 PM
–

I think men frame it as a men's issue because their worth as men is tied to sex. And their self worth is reflected in the external factors like attention and validation from women. Which can negatively effect their mental health and lead to the lunatics running around being violent because they didn't touch a boob. I think separating men's worth from sex would be a good start. Which is a product of socialization. I think giving men especially men who may not be successful with women some sort of…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 01:28 PM
1

Oh no we have different tastes. Haha WAAAAYYYY different tastes. I'm into metrosexual, androgynous Twink men. The beard is a no go for me. You are making a lot of assumptions about my comment. My partner is 6'0 and slim average. And absolutely beautiful. We are a goth/alt couple. Haha so I am not your conventional demographic. I am tattooed, dark hair, all black, though I do gym frequently. He does too to be fair. And I am tall 5'8 so it works out well. A 6'4 bearded guy would not entice me in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 10:59 PM
3

I think a lot of younger men are still developing. Their brains are focused on the here and now. Not so much down the line and the future. Which if we look at the average age group of people who are talking about dating. It's usually Gen Z. So these are 25/26 year olds. They will be shitheads. Me me me. When I was 25/26 guys were shitheads. Guys go through their shithead phase. Start thinking about the future. And then look to settle down. 40% of them will grow past that at some point. Sometimes…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 10:42 PM
3

I think the problem here is that men's sexuality is seen as those dingy sweatpants, whereas women's sexuality is seen more as jeans. You're allowed to wear it in more contexts without being seen as inappropriate. Nah women's sexuality is still dingy sweatpants as well. You can have it. Be quite proud of it. Enjoy wearing those pants. Enjoy sharing moments where you and your partner can wear your dirty dingy sweatpants together. But you aren't going to go out to dinner with your partner's parents…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 10:34 PM
19

I'm gonna do an analogy. You have a pair of dingy dirty sweatpants. They are comfy as hell but they are old the drawstring is worn. But man you love those pants. And those pants are awesome. If you wear those sweatpants at home. It's totally fine. You wear them around your partner on a lazy drink latte watch movies kinda day totally fine. You like those pants those are your pants you can wear those pants. But if you show up to a formal suit and tie party. Wearing your dingy sweatpants. You will …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 07:42 PM
5

Nah, Chad is a figment of bitter men's imagination. He doesn't exist. There is not this universal sex pot guy who all of us ladies are just swooning over to get a chance to sleep with. We are secretly plotting to leave our husbands/boyfriends just to get a chance with this guy. He doesn't exist. To me my partner is the sexiest man alive. Are there more attractive guys? Probably. Are there more rich guys? Definitely. But to me he is what I was looking for and shows up for me and supports me. I do…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 05:44 PM
10

No it's not a matter of worth. I'm not a decider of a man's worth because what I value. Is only what I value. So for example: A Christian guy would not be a someone I want to date. I'm atheist I'm not religious. But to a woman who is also Christian and shared the same values he would be someone she sees as someone she wants to date. That has nothing to do a man's worthiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:30 PM
7

50%. Now within that 50% I think 40% of the men in there. Just have their own shit to work out. They have to emotionally mature, and they kind of grow out of it. This is usually your younger men they mature grow out of their ways and eventually become decent partners. They may be unsuitable for a bit. And when you meet them they may be in that phase of their lives. But eventually they come out of it. And then there is that 10%. That are stuck in their ways, lack the self awareness to figure why …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:27 PM
6

It's really not a matter of being "worthy". It's just there is a majority of men I am not interested in. For this that or the other. And you know that's okay. Its not because I'm holding out for the proverbial Chad. I want someone who shares my values and interests and is considerate. So a guy who wants to replace me when my time is up. Is likely not a guy I want to date. Lol We are all looking for something. Some meet those expectations some don't. Water finds it's level.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 03:55 PM
9

I think you have it backwards. Now ideally most people once they grow and mature a bit, work on those self esteem wounds, and maybe do some therapy can love realistically and unselfishly and have a mutually satisfying relationship. But this is PPD so things get a little screwy here. Women tend to love idealistically. Especially young women. They may date a total tool. He's a douche. But they will insist he is so sweet and good to them because he took her to Taco Bell once. When the reality is he…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 01:09 PM
1

You can find someone kind, emotionally available and considerate.... AND attractive funny and good in bed. Like none of these traits are one or the other. Ideally you find a partner that has a majority of these traits. That's why they are your partner. A lot of the time emotionally available/considerate take time to find out. When you first meet a guy he can say I'm emotionally available. He can ACT emotionally available after a few months he actually isn't. Same thing with kindness and consider…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 12:50 PM
1

Boundaries are for you. Boundaries are how you conduct yourself and how you align with your values and expectations of others. Not rules that your partner has to perform by. Healthy boundary: I have to be up for work early in the morning. So I turn my phone on do not disturb. My partner understands that my messages are off because I have to go to bed. I wait to have sex with someone I am dating. If I am investing time, effort, and feelings into this person. I want to make sure they are in it for…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 12:42 AM
4

Color me shocked!?? Women... Want to date men that they are interested in?! The horror. Someone cancel Christmas we have a tragedy here. Oh won't someone think of the men.... People have preferences and types in dating. While yes many men might meet some standards. They are nice or ambitious. But if there is no attraction or interest in the guy there is nothing there. That's not a person she will date. Dating is about narrowing your "options" to find someone most compatible with you. This is a n…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 11:16 PM
2

A lot of the things you mentioned I can do myself? And have fun doing by myself. I don't feel like I need to be partnered to enjoy some activities. Maybe some friends but I don't need a romantic relationship to enjoy this stuff. When we want a partner we want someone that we want to date. We aren't just searching for any man to fill this role and then we don't really like him that much. We want someone we are into we desire someone we are into.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 01:02 AM
3

I let my boyfriend take the lead on somethings and let him take care of me. It's hard when you are used to doing it on your own. But leaning into him gave me a new found support and it was a trust fall for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 10:43 PM
2

A lot of women in this sub aren't single? But being single by choice is usually because you have had relationships/dating experiences. some just prefer being single to being in a relationship. Not because no one wants them. Men will check you out regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 08:53 PM
10

A bad relationship can ruin your life. It can end your life. You can be stuck co-parenting and have children with them. You can be alone in your relationship. Like a partner doesn't mean a fulfilling life. I agree you should want a good relationship And a good partner that adds to your life. But if you are going into looking for a relationship just so you won't be alone you are going to have a bad time. There are worse things than being alone. And being content and okay on your own should be cru…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 01:25 AM
25

It's an overgeneralization. my mentality is if I don't find someone that will be okay. I can make peace with it. I want to have a good relationship not just any relationship. So a good relationship is with a guy who loves and respects me. A guy who I am attracted to. A guy who is loyal and kind. Like that's ideal. Someone who reciprocates and adds something to my life instead of takes away from my life. If I don't find someone like that. It's okay. Its better than being with someone I am not int…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 03:08 AM
9

It's exactly like this. Basically you may get 100 likes. 25 matches. About 5 of those matches won't talk or unmatch. Okay. Noted. 10 of those may talk for a bit and fizzle out or are just looking for a texting buddy but there's no push for a date or taking it off the app or the text conversations die out or there is just a lack of interest from both parties which is fine. 5 of those matches just want to hook up and say some sexual comment right out the gate. Leaving you with maybe 5 prospects? B…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 11:41 PM
1

Not necessarily 🥹 I would say bigger is not better. Anatomy can be very frustrating. If you have a smaller vagina a big one is work doesn't even really have to be super just bigger than average. Also being smaller means you can hurt him when he tries. And sometimes it just won't fit. So none of you guys are getting it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 11:27 PM
–

For example, I think a lot of men are porn addicted and have had their desires quite horribly shaped by this. It’s actually a silent disaster imo. Whether this transgresses to hyper sexuality I don’t know. Though it’s certainly clear from research that testosterone raises libido and makes men more visually stimulated than women to quite an extent. Evidence from trans men on HRT seems to indicate this. I think porn is mostly to blame. Why women won't be sexual right away? Being dick drunk. Being …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 11:23 PM
1

The biggest misconception is that Women care about size. We have two metrics too big or too small. If it's too big it hurts it's hard to get in not fun. Too small well... There's an issue. If we really like the guy we can learn how to compromise and work with these things. Guy who is too small can please her manually and work to have mutually satisfying sex life. A guy who is too big can foreplay and get things moved around a little bit, use more lubricant try positions that help and also do thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 04:31 PM
2

You do realize... Make up doesn't change bone structure? Usually women who are attractive with make up are attractive without make up?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:16 PM
1

The study did say problematic porn usage and porn addicts do have poorer sexual function (ED, delayed and impaired ejaculation, lower libido) . The study did say that. So someone who views porn occasionally. Isn't porn addicted.s
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 07:42 PM
2

There is an influx of gooner content. Only fans is a thing now. The biggest issue on dating apps with most women is men being sexual from the get go. And porn does have adverse effects. I encourage you to check out the r/loveafterporn . Porn addiction ruins relationships. It causes things like ED. Guys can't finish unless manually stimulated or just don't. Taking too long in bed. It ruins things like intimacy and connection. And a lot of guys struggle with their porn usage.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:12 PM
1

I really think Chad is a fictional character. Kinda like Paul Bunyan or Robinhood. Chad is kind of like Schrodinger's box. He is punishment for women or he is a reward for women. He is either that manipulative fuckboy, deadbeat baby daddy, if you batted too outside your league or for playing your role in femininity (as seen by men) you get rewarded with this man. Who is handsome. Has positive things going for him. But I don't think a "Chad" exists. Nah I'm really not. Yes I do not find a bunch o…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:37 PM
1

I wouldn't doubt it. Except the manosphere thing. Most women don't like that stuff. Maybe some do. But I would say the non-committal/overly sexual is a product of modern day dating. Also I think another layer millennial generation and Gen z are in survival mode. Most people are so focused on getting through the day to day grind of work/self care/responsibilities. They barely have time for themselves so therefore their capacity for intimacy and holding and having relationships is limited. A lot o…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 01:20 PM
4

I'm in a relationship and found a really good partner. It takes time and knowing yourself and what you want. I do not find most men attractive. Especially men who embody those 3 points. So I think I'm okay. I do have a type and I have a partner who is my type. Chad just lives rent free in your mind.Everyone's concept of what a desirable man is varies. But if he is one of those 3 things I can tell you he isn't someone women are into.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 08:58 AM
13

A few things. They are hypersexual and porn sick. They watch way too much porn. And put way too much value in sex and sexuality. Instead of addressing the elephant in the room that they want to feel wanted but just resort to sex being the default of being wanted. It makes them act very sexually undisciplined and pushes away would be good connection. Hypersexuality is a trauma response. They are noncommittal. Men don't like commitment. Anything that requires effort and actually working on scares …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 05:12 AM
2

I'm glad you are working out your biases around this. Maybe you are just someone who doesn't like casual relationships too which is totally fine. It's good you are making some headway and looking into it. It does sound like Madonna/Whore complex. When I think of different types of relationships I think about it like living spaces. Casual relationships= Air BNB/ Hotel. Like minimal investment short term stay. This is not a home. Relationships = Apartments rental unit. More investment long term st…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 06:25 PM
3

Here's the thing though... If you are seeing a woman casually and make it known you are only seeing her casually. Why does she have to be exclusive to you? If you are only seeing each other casually. And like you said once you are in casual territory it's pretty much impossible to change a guys mind. Because for me personally girlfriend is where I would be exclusive. But if I am casual with someone I wouldn't want to be exclusive. Also a good way to get absolutely soul crushed, when you have fee…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:52 AM
1

I think you answered your own question is to why. Women who are not girlfriend material to someone is subject to worst treatment. They are as you said "fuck toy". So consideration of them and treating them like people with some compassion and empathy. Also decent communication. Also the implication that because she's casual she's not good enough for girlfriend I guess. I don't know how to phrase it. I think the thing is communication. I think in casual settings communication goes a long way. And…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 03:59 AM
1

I find guys with big egos unattractive. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Cockiness comes off as arrogance. You won't get vulnerability or relatability. Because they are busy talking about how awesome they are. A big ego blocks connection. Because it's a song and dance to celebrate how awesome they are. And if you have any criticism or something different to them. Their opinion is the only one that matters. And how fragile it is. Ego prevents growth and development. These "alpha males" that exude fragile ego, so they have …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:18 AM
1

Pretty much am. Lol I get the appeal of casual sex. But 9/10. It's like seeing a really tasty pastry in window and you're kinda hungry. But when you eat the pastry it was kinda stale, not that good, and you feel kinda ashamed of yourself for being so indulgent and wasting money on it when you could have something better at home.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:07 AM
1

It's true. I'd rather have a good boyfriend than a casual fwb, a fling, or hook up. So vetting and wanting a suitable partner takes longer you will deal with a bunch of duds and dead ends and being lead on. Before you find someone who makes a suitable partner. Not to mention I don't find a lot of men attractive so I'm looking for a needle in a haystack. And looking for the same thing. And isn't just wanting sex. Actually likes me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 12:20 AM
1

Getting plastic surgery because one person doesn't like how you look is absurd. Changing your whole style to impress one person who likes that is silly. And it would be teeter on creepy if someone were to do that. I like twinkish men. I look for twinkish guys. And a lot of guys aren't like that. And that's okay. Trying to change up everything about yourself to impress one person. Is weird and desperate behavior. Instead of pursuing someone who may be more of a match for you. At the end of the da…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 05:59 PM
1

Red pill caters to the ego. A lot of men are stuck in their ego. The whole "high value man" thing is just stuff to stroke off their ego. You can get fit and get your money. And also all the revenge fantasies. Oh women will hit the wall and when you are a high value man you can reject them like they rejected you.... You can pump and dump. The other thing is displacing the blame on to women. "women are hypergamous" "women don't love" etc etc. It's stuff that someone doesn't have to look within to …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 05:48 PM
3

You seem upset. Care to elaborate?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:51 PM
7

I don't think you understand objectification. You are saying a bunch of things.. but not giving me answers. Objectification is basically dehumanizing someone and reducing them to an object. In this case a sex object. And object doesn't get empathy. An object doesn't get consideration. An object just does. You can use this object how you see fit. And that means lying or coercing so you can use this object. It's comparing this object to other nonhuman objects. Like a pair of worn shoes. Used bubbl…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:23 PM
1

There are some immutable factors that a guy can't change. Like it just comes off as snotty and rude. " I don't like your face". "I find you physically unappealing". "You're not my type". These are things that can't be negotiated and would feel insulting if someone said that. These are things that can't be changed. So telling someone you have these things you can't change in order for me to think you are attractive is just unnecessary. "I'm not interested" is more than enough than breaking down t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:17 PM
3

What doesn't make sense?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:08 PM
21

Sex positive. I love sex. What I don't like is being objectified. Being seen as just sex object. I want to feel like the person having sex with me is cool with me at a human level. I am selective about who I have sex with because attraction and my libido works differently than men's. And I don't like sexual attention from randos that are making some remark about my body. But when I choose to have sex with someone I want to have sex with. It's rad.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 03:25 AM
–

Anime conventions. You share common interests. And likely the women there are somewhere on that spectrum too.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 07:58 PM
8

Why is therapy baggage? To me that's someone working on their emotional health and dealing with their baggage in a healthy way. Because regardless emotional trauma is going to happen. No matter how young or inexperienced with life you are. Being bullied. Being neglected. This all has some effect on who you are as an adult. You will have things that effect you and learning how to own and handle your shit is what makes you a functional human being. To each their own. But you can't have someone tot…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 07:56 PM
0

Or.. hear me out Attraction is a unique and individual experience. So what you may think of someone dating someone less physically attractive. They may think they are incredibly physically appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 05:19 PM
2

I don't think you need a reason is to why someone doesn't find you attractive. It just seems cruel and unnecessary. Just "no" is perfectly fine. "I'm not interested" is valid. That's plenty of feedback and answers. You don't need to kick someone while they are down.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 11:56 PM
0

Nope it's from my own experiences. I didn't need the entertainment industry to do that for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 07:03 PM
7

Hi 👋 I am out here. Bring me the twinks please.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 05:20 PM
1

Don't pull out all the stops. If someone is going into dating with lavish dinners/expensive gifts and trips. You should not date that person. It's just as outlandish as a guy expecting sex for a first date. I also don't get dinner dates for a first date it would make me feel trapped. If I don't like this person, I'm stuck at dinner with them. Too many people put too much on the backs of strangers. STRANGERS. This ideal person. That they can crush your hopes and dreams. For a first date. It's a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 05:19 PM
2

Stay with my boyfriend? What the heck? Assuming guy #2 is hotter and better off. This is all meeting them one time? So I would throw away my healthy...stable... Loving relationship for someone I met once? That's absurd. My boyfriend is to me is incredibly hot to me regardless. It's his mannerisms it's knowing that I know him. It's going through life together and feeling safe with him. He doesn't need the best of everything, because to me he is the best.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 06:15 AM
1

I'm in a relationship with the guy I liked first. 😊 I think I even said hello first when he matched with me. We met from a dating app. So I am being for real.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 11:03 PM
1

Clearly you didn't read my response 🤨.... Haha
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 04:40 PM
1

You are correct in that feeling. I'm definitely more on the goth alternative side.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 04:19 PM
0

I'm in a relationship with one.... So I did? I actually liked him first.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 03:22 PM
1

Human beings are not dogs and deserve a little bit more dignity? There's a bit more complexity and emotion and logic going on there. "Good boy you took out the trash!!!! Who's a good boy do you want belly rubs!!!!" "Awww good boy you went to work!! Good boy!!! And like toss him an Oreo or something. Lol 😂 Let's be so for real right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 02:06 PM
1

Actually I am pretty good looking. 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 04:49 AM
0

It's really rare..... Like reaaaalllyyyyy rare. Maybe 3 dudes.....in a year that I would go... Yeah they are pretty hot. It doesn't happen too often.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 04:25 AM
1

It does! It seems like the trend tends to be more of the man's man. Beards. Buff. It's not really my thing. I think so the early 2000s men's fashion was a lot more exploratory and fun. Maybe it's because I am a product of that era. But guys would do the guyliner more. A lot more variable hair styles.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 08:08 PM
3

I wish we could keep the metrosexual look it was nice. 🥲 I'm sad it's not as popular and my tastes tend to be more niche now. I'm probably alone in this. But I do miss it. I can't do the whole beard and super manly thing. It's cool there are people who dig it. But I just can't. It's not my thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 07:42 PM
2

Where did you get these standards from? Because these are entirely unrealistic and nothing of the actual bar that is being talked about. Superficial and do nothing to talk about the quality of a connection. The actual bar to me personally. Is Do they like me? Not happy to have a woman shaped vessel in their life. That they can project their fantasies and ideals on to and assign a role for me to fulfill. But do they like me. Do they make a conscious effort to make me feel seen and understood. Do …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 01:27 PM
1

I have about as much bandwidth to deal with just pets I think 🥲.... I think taking on a baby, is just too much. Too much for my lifestyle. Too much for my partner. Also accounting aging parents with health problems of their own who also need my care. Also work and income figuring out how that works. However I would not mind being an auntie. Being an auntie would be fun. I would have a blast with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 04:53 AM
2

Have you tried living for yourself? Maybe it was because I was parentified at a young age and kinda gave up my teenage years because I was watching my younger sibling. That I realized the sacrifice that comes with parenthood. Giving up doing silly things. Date nights become a luxury. Saturday nights when you can dance the night away with your partner. Making an impulse trip to a foreign country because you have a 3 day weekend and it sounds fun. Being able to live and actually live life and see …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 07:44 PM
1

Performative Masculinity is just that a performance and a front. And it's usually really insecure men who perform the hardest to make everyone believe they are super manly. In general it's just a turn off. I don't want to cater to this guys fragile sense of masculinity and if I so much step a toe out of my performative box I am supposed to be in he will feel emasculated. And I get to face the backlash of it. Whether it's a snappy comment. It's them shutting down and feeling upset. Or ways to "hu…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 05:44 PM
1

I don't know everyone I know in successful relationships? Didn't really read a pick up artist book or anything. They just met their partners and it fell in place. I have noticed the more "forced" a connection feels. The less likely it is that it works. My relationship felt natural. None of us put on a front. My boyfriend is my friend who I also like to be physically affectionate with. He didn't woo me with some like "game". He talked about his action figure collection our first date and showed m…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:33 PM
1

Dating isn't a "skill" though. It's a connection. You can't skill your way into connecting with someone. It's not like weightlifting where you have to learn better exercises to maximize your efforts. That is a skill. It's not like cooking, that is a skill too. Really the only way to be good at dating is through understanding yourself and a sense of self worth. (Meaning your limits, your needs, your expectations) and finding out if people who meet those needs. Social skills come into play a littl…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 11:56 PM
0

If you need to be told how to date. It's a YOU problem. There is no manual in dating it works or it doesn't. Dating is a complex nuanced thing. There is no proper how to do it and this will happen. Unpredictability is part of it since you know.... We aren't other people. We can only navigate ourselves through it and figure out what works for us. This isn't a hard concept to grasp. You are in control of your own emotional space? There's no cheat code into successful human interaction? You'll meet…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 07:41 PM
1

TRP focuses so much on black and white thinking. It's either this or this. And it's only this or this. Which to a lot of men who lack social skills possibly autistic always online it makes sense. And probably why they gravitate towards it so much. Because it breaks down dating which is a very nuanced thing. Into it's this or it's that. It's misinformation for sure but it's simplified for someone who can't grasp the odd grey areas that is dating. So I can see why, red pill men would have an issue…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 05:17 PM
1

We all know how it is for women. Surprisingly 99℅ of women like the same 10℅ men and it doesn't varies like Men's. Doubt. I doubt this. Have you seen AWDTG groups?! Have you seen them? It definitely varies. It really does. My type isn't my friends type. Not everyone wants a "6'5 blue eyed finance guy". Get offline. Like we all have preferences and types. I like skinny effeminate nerdy men like total twinks. So I probably find a small percentage of men attractive unless they are a skinny effemina…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 05:36 AM
1

Same thing just using different words No. Because it says nothing to value of this hypothetical guy. I don't think the person in question thinks he's below her. They are always suddenly average dispite the average guy being unappealing to most women Most people are average? We aren't celebrities. And we aren't Quasimodo. So we fall along being average. Average men are dating average women. People are dating each other and they are likely average. Since we aren't celebrities. And we aren't Quasim…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 03:20 AM
1

Answered that. Everyone finds different things attractive this is true. And there isn't depending on who's looking where? There's lots of reason. One is not wanting to hurt his feelings, we are socialized to give a guy a chance. And shouldn't be "shallow". Etc. Also low self esteem plays into this as well. That they can't do better so this is it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 02:20 AM
3

I want companionship and a lifelong partner. I want love, support, and someone to spend my life with. And that doesn't have to include children. Me and my partner both love and care for our pets? We just don't see kids being a thing
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 01:47 AM
1

Where did I say that. I explicitly said anyone can chest lol. Anyone can cheat. Cheaters cheat. But again with the whole women only find a small portion of men attractive. And these men have options because they get all the women. Again. I will reiterate. As I said "what is attractive" because everyone's definition of attractive varies. Now, why are you acting like all the unattractive men ate mean and lazy? They aren't. Some are some aren't. Just like how some attractive guys are players and so…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 12:38 AM
1

"I feel less than so im going to pursue less than men who i wouldn't ordinarily like because I need a pick me up because of how obviously shitty they are." No. Lol. More like I hate myself. I don't actually deserve what I want, this person's appraisal of me is more important is to whether or not I actually like them. Because I don't value myself or my own opinions enough to care. They are showing a crumb of human decency is this "love". I agree that a lot of people who have poor self worth/self …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 12:12 AM
1

Every single one of my female friends who have ever uttered these words at me about a man they dated never actually liked the guy to any degree prior to the "chance". To me it comes across as an excuse to be able to tell yourselves "I tried dating men I saw as lesser and it didn't work out. I can now only look at men I actually like and not feel bad". I think more or less the simple answer is usually if you are dating someone you had to give a chance to. Your self esteem is already low. Only for…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 10:50 PM
1

Well see that is the hang up of the whole thing. And I think in general about dating? And contrary to that myself and a lot of women here have said we gave guys chances that we weren't that into and got mistreated. But the main question is "What is attractive". No one is going to give a straight answer. Because everyone's definition of what "attractive" is, differs. I think really it boils down to having a strong sense of self and knowing what you want. And really the best way to navigate dating…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 07:46 PM
2

If a good man is not an option for her. He's not an option no amount of concern trolling will make it viable. People like what they like and will pursue that. I don't understand how we keep going to attractive man = bad. Ugly guy = good. First because people find different things attractive. So it comes down to finding someone, who she is attracted to and who treats her well. This is the hard part when it comes to dating. Second not all unattractive men are kind souls who just want to be loved. …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 05:49 PM
8

Honestly. This has been my experience too. The guy that I would "give a chance" to. Ended up being so selfish. Insecure. Toxic. Lazy. Had an urge to humble me and break me down every way I could be broken down. After he pursued me and "wanted to treat me right". Actually went on to constantly criticize me. Downplay my achievements. Emotionally abusive and immature. The attractive guy I wanted. Treats me so well. Appreciates my company. Still pursues me like he did when we first got together. Sup…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 04:37 PM
10

It's not punishing anyone. If I don't want to be approached by someone. I don't have to be approached. Even a more extroverted person were to shoot their shot. I am likely not going to reciprocate if I am not interested in dating them? I don't have to give every guy a chance to come up and talk to me. If I do not want to be approached or asked out? Sometimes I want to be left alone. If I am interested I will make it known or talk to them a little bit. For the record and what it's worth. My boyfr…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 07:43 PM
15

It's because if you are too friendly it's seen as interest.. So if you are aloof and standoffish. Hopefully it gets the message across that you aren't interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 04:29 PM
2

Choose better is basically lower your bar of entry because "I" don't think you are worth what you are asking for. It's literally it. It's never said in good faith and more as a way to "humble" someone because they assume they are asking for too much. The guy may not even be better, behaviorally he may be a total tool. It's just red pill/blackpill pick me nonsense. That somehow because they don't have some desirable aspect they will be a better candidate. In reality their insecurity, low self est…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 04:28 PM
4

I think it's dependant on your relationship and what needs arise in that relationship? It's not these prescribed roles that we get assigned upon interacting with the opposite sex. We have basic adult responsibilities that we have to perform. Going to work. Managing our day to day?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 12:40 PM
–

I think it depends on the person. If someone ghosted me. After a first date I didn't hear back from them. I'm not going to be offended. I don't need to hear about all the things they didn't like about me to warrant them not wanting to see me again. It was just not a match simple as. I don't need feedback. Unless someone was real fucked up about it. Like stringing you along for months. And ghosts. That's a conversation worth having. And it's about their behavior. Of why would you keep someone aro…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 04:27 AM
4

I think it comes from being perpetually online. So of course the airheaded ditzy OF influencers are getting paid to be clowned on by podcast guys. And all of social media, and content shows us beautiful people being beautiful and doing beautiful things. People who have time, money, and know how to be beautiful and get paid to be beautiful. It skews your perception of what it is. And expecting average people to be like these people is absurd. We aren't even in the same universe. When the reality …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 02:06 AM
5

It's we should be punished. We are responsible for men's bad behavior, and we should also be aware of men's bad behavior. And punished for picking bad because we picked Chad or whatever. I think most women take accountability? Hindsight is 20/20 once you are out of a situation. And you learn what's acceptable and what's not as you navigate life. This goes for any relationship not just romantic. Friends. Professional. Family. And learning and growing and understanding what you can do differently.…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 01:21 AM
-1

It said I was an 8 🥲 It's really nice. I think both me and my partner are looks matched. I think most people shoot for relatively in their own attractiveness group. And I think the number goes up and down
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 10:36 PM
7

There's certain variations. If you ghost before you meet up when you said you are going to meet up. That's wrong. You're wrong. If you drop a conversation on a dating app. No harm no foul. I'm not offended. If you ghost after a first date with no significant investment from the both of you. Just both parties fizzle into the night. No harm no foul. I wouldn't be offended if I didn't hear back or no second date. There was no investment. And sometimes it's better to just let things be. Then have to…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 03:41 AM
–

Meeeeee!! Me and my puppy hiked up some foothills.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 01:53 AM
–

This is called just being in a healthy relationship. No one is perfect. You kind of pick and choose your battles? This is how adult relationships work.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 12:02 AM
2

Honestly that is such an aesthetic! I like the alternative but also can fit into the odd normal scene too! Your wife sounds like a bad ass. The tattoos but can sneak by in corporate life. I work medical and it's the same 🤣 by day in my surgical gear and when I go out bam goth. Haha. Punk is so much fun. I actually go to a lot of punk shows. I am not lumped into one subculture and a lot of punk bands influenced goth music. Counterculture isn't mutually exclusive. My boyfriend is that duality. He …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 04:57 PM
1

As a goth girl, would you ever date or hook up with (or do you know any goth girls who would date or hook up with) a preppy or wall street type guy? Or is that too far from goth to ever work? Me personally, the goth community is small. So naturally you may venture a little out of the subculture and goth is something you tend to negotiate on. I have dated plenty of not goth men. I tend to go more for nerd men who are into alternative culture my boyfriend is definitely this. So like the music, may…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 04:18 PM
1

I don't think it's wrong to have preferences and standards. I think everyone is well within their right to date who they want to date. And it seems way better than the idea of dating who you can date. The issue and where women kinda roll their eyes. Is the frustration men have at women for not meeting their preferences. And it's all women's problem that he can't find his specific preference. Or fetishizing someone of that specific preference. (I'm goth and this is really common) and ruining thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 03:01 PM
1

Women do get rejected. It does hurt. And contrary to popular belief dating does take effort on the women's part? It's not shut up and look pretty and let them all roll in. I don't really get where that notion comes from. It's vetting. Its being available. If you want to date this person there has to be a reciprocal effort. Not just sitting back and looking pretty? I believe me and my boyfriend made a reciprocal effort and eventually just kinda paired off. Over a consistent amount of time. My bes…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 02:44 AM
0

Oh it's not said here. But there was some garbage about how "average men would vote away women's rights if it would get them sexual attention" so yes you are right THAT wasn't explicitly said here. But the idea was still the same. 😗 It's kind of one of the heads on the same misogynistic hydra.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 02:18 AM
0

^ You are literally doing what he just said... Damn!... By being honest? When you see that mentality. It's repellant and self sabotage you are harming your chances . I can imagine also very isolating as well? And believing fan fiction which only adds to the disdain and anger for women. Women who do that do it with with the intention of hurting ppd men, make fun of them, Only here would someone saying they have a partner be hurtful and making fun of someone this sounds like more fan fiction. I th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 02:10 AM
0

Absolutely not. No one should be spewing vitriol against anyone. I don't agree with being cruel to men. There's a lot of problematic takes. "Sprinkle Sprinkle" "men are only good for money" "men are trash"'. And I do believe a lot of men's issues with women are hurts too. And they deserve empathy which is where I am trying to get at. At what point does it get that bad to where it's just disdain? It didn't just come from nothing. But when men say women don't deserve rights. "your body my choice" …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 12:23 AM
0

I'd say a general disdain for women. I feel a lot don't like women as people (men and women can't be friends, various insults about women who they don't find are up to their standards, lack of curiosity about women as people caring about who they are as people). And if you face a lot of rejections. Have bad experiences with women. Fueled by TikTok/Reels rage bait and algorithms just reinforcing that belief. Add in possible being on the autism spectrum and neurotic. You externalize it as this arm…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 11:28 PM
-9

Probably because some women have had experiences with evil or worthless men. And a lot of men here outright say some very absurd and degrading things about women too. Is PPD an accurate representation of ALL men? No absolutely not.... A lot of men here are out of touch bitter men who are part of the problem. I see a lot of women talk affectionately about their partners/husbands. They have love for the men in their lives but can call out bad behavior. It's sad though that one does not feel love. …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 11:11 PM
-8

I don't think it's the checking out. Like if you don't want to date don't date. It's the language. It's really sad.. like there is no "love" there. No appreciation. Basically just a means to end for sex. And it's kind of heartbreaking to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 09:39 PM
1

Travel. Also just do little things that make life cool. It can be stupid mundane things. Like going to your favorite coffee shop. Treating yourself to something special.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 05:53 PM
3

I think because we work differently. Most women's advice is if "guy is doing (negative behavior), then you need to walk away he's just not that into you move it along". Basically any sort of big sister advice. It's not unanimously on how to appeal to men or how to get a guy. Maybe a little bit on how to talk to your crush. And there is delusional stuff like "if he pulls away, he actually likes you and his avoidant attachment issues are coming into play and you just have to give him space". A lot…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 01:10 PM
23

And it's not like that for women? Unattractive people exist and will shoot their shot regardless. You can be a dick about it, or just no thanks and move along. It's not this "who do you think you are talking to me peasant" mentality. It's "oh thank you I'm not interested!" I say this as a not fat American.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:53 PM
2

I value my independence. I love to travel. I value quality time with my partner. But being able to lock in and take care of business during the week with work. My doggie is amazing and I love her. I am proactive about my health and self care. I like alternative fashion and will splurge here and there. My partner is a homebody. But he supports my travels I just bring him back trinkets. He's very independent too. But we make time for each other and that's what matters. He's a huge animal lover as …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:36 AM
1

No. No one is perfect. No one will be perfect. But is a little emotional intelligence too much to ask for? And self awareness of your own faults and shortcomings too much to ask for?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 02:55 AM
1

why is intrinsic value relevant here? Men didn't have a problem with their intrinsic value, they had a problem with their value on a dating market and in society. Because men place their worth and value in the attention of women. It's pretty obvious men who refer to themselves as "low value" because they do not get dates. And centering their worth as a person and self esteem on the attention from women or how they do dating. It causes a lot of issues and resentments because why can't they get th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 12:43 AM
2

What constitutes ghosting. A conversation fizzling out on a dating app is hardly a ghosting usually that's just conversation dying out. And if both parties aren't making plans it's nothing. It's not going anywhere it's a chore to reply back. Nothing after one meet up? It's a no harm no foul situation. Like it just wasn't there. After a single date there's no emotional investment. I won't take it personally they shouldn't either. If it's substantial time and multiple dates. That would be a conver…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 12:38 AM
-1

That's good, but if only this was the norm It should be. It feels good that he's comfortable enough to express concerns to me. Honestly that's shitty and I'm sorry you had to go through that. I think insecurities shouldn't be thrown in someone's face. It's like comments about people's looks or disabilities or something. It's best left unsaid. You don't go there with them. Like if it's a behavior that's harming someone maybe say something. Like I understand you have had this but I am not that per…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 02:41 AM
3

It can be there? But if you are in the corner scowling like a scrooge. And not making your presence known? People aren't seeing you thus wouldn't know if they are physically attracted to you. You're probably hot to someone? But you're too in your own head to notice or see. It's honestly not these ripped Chad Adonis dudes. Like it's usually average dudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 02:05 AM
1

It exists? But what people find attractive is so subjective based upon preferences. It's a really individual experience here. It's such a minor detail. Yes of course physical attraction is there but you aren't going to be universally appealing to everyone. Just like I'm not going to be universally attractive to everyone. I'm a goth chick with tattoos. I'm not everyone's cup of tea but I'm someone's cup of tea. Being desirable boils down to other things too. How you carry yourself. How do you mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 01:44 AM
2

Like what do I think are positive masculine qualities? And what are negative qualities? Or people I think represent positive and negative masculinity? Just need a little elaboration. So I can best answer this.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 01:36 AM
2

Weird. Honestly women that do that are toxic. You are in a relationship with another human being so they are going to be human. I really feel special when my boyfriend opens up to me. Or expresses a vulnerable moment or something. It makes me happy that he feels safe to express that with me and that I can be there with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 01:33 AM
5

I think some men have deeper shit. Like a lot of anger stems from shame. Rejections only amplify that. Shame and core wounds of not feeling good enough. So the only thing they can feel is pissed off. But with therapy and learning and processing that shit understanding where that shit comes from. Helps you work past it. Though I'm also totally agreeing that a lot of men who do things and accomplish stuff like building something. Feel a lot better. I would say they should have like a men's group t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 01:29 AM
12

What traditional roles have I advocated for? I didn't say provide and protect. Lol And no traditional feminine role for you lot is indentured servitude with happy endings. That sounds hellish. I'd rather be valued for my contributions to a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 11:01 PM
11

Treating men less like primal cavemen who are only useful if they have a paycheck, who are too stupid to understand their feelings would probably increase mental health significantly. I think men are humans who deserve to feel seen, appreciated, and treated with kindness. Not really treating them like a woman .
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 10:56 PM
4

It's less about being desirable and more comfortable in your own skin? I feel a lot of men who are "undesirable" it's not usually physical and everything to do with mental. Some self described blackpill/incel guys are actually handsome. It's usually the personality. And lack of social skills and low self esteem that is what's hanging them up.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 07:50 PM
32

Encouraging things like positive masculinity and teaching men that their intrinsic value isn't dictated by external factors. (Women, cars, money, muscles) Therapy geared towards young men and boys to help with men's issues. Allowing men to be vulnerable about their emotions without blaming an entire gender. Encouraging healthy men/women platonic friendships. Helping young men and boys out with social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 05:52 PM
3

I put my partner in for shits and giggles. And he's 1.7% of the population. Apparently I'm a cat enthusiast. Yet here I am paired up with a guy I wanted to be with?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 09:05 PM
0

I would say you are overestimating the amount of options or interactions we have. First I am not always putting myself out there and want to be left alone so a desert is perfectly fine. I would say it's similar to the desert metaphor. But maybe add flash flooding. So I put myself out there and immediately a huge surge of attention. Then maybe some puddles and standing water. And maybe the puddles evaporate then nothing again. Until I decide to put myself out there again? But it's not constant bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 12:57 AM
–

Sexual attention does not equal privilege. Being leered at and a walking vagina or a receptacle for a man's sexual desire isn't flattering it isn't carrot juice. Being harassed for access to you isn't a flex. Men lying to you for sex isn't a flex. Being just seen as an object to relieve sexual desire isn't a good feeling. It feels degrading. Especially if the attention is not wanted. That is why we keep saying download Grindr so you can experience the privilege. Of someone wanting to sleep with …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:16 PM
3

Honestly I think it's just the apps. It's men outnumbering women. And it's not to say men don't encounter their share of not the finest specimens womenkind have to offer. "Nice girls" women stuck on their ex, women stringing guys along and ghosting them, fat/unappealing women who will neg or be rude to guys and women expecting "princess treatment" to a person they just matched with. And it's easy to say if you are on the apps because it puts a microscope on a small portions of users in that area…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 06:46 PM
7

Not to be the "no u" kind of person. But I really think MEN are overly dramatic about women's viable dating options. Which I get it. The grass is always greener on the other side. If you aren't in that scenario you would know what to do. It's men who go on about 80/20. It's men going on about how women can have endless suitors by just downloading an app It's men who imagine our DMs are flooded daily with potential suitors just waiting for a chance. We know a lot of the attention we receive is no…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 03:48 PM
1

Yes yes it does. I go to a lot of the events in my area it's alive I think now more than ever. There's definitely still the goth niche.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 07:52 PM
–

I think dating is what you make of it. There is always space to remove yourself take time and go back. Especially if you are feeling stuck. If all around you is toxic men or just not anything is working. And it's just not satisfying take a break. You're not stuck anywhere it's not static things change. You may be endlessly swiping on guys you don't like and if you are finding that none of these options are for you. Take a break. Delete the apps. Go out do something take a few months off. If you …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 07:41 PM
1

We don't.. it kinda feels special when I do. Like whoa... Dating apps kinda suck because I can't form attraction to a picture. I can be like they are my "type" meet them in person and nothing. But just because I don't find some attractive doesn't mean like I don't respect or value them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 02:46 AM
1

I'm in my 30s. And I probably only find a tiny portion of men in my age range attractive. I probably find one guy attractive every so often. But it's not often.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 01:24 AM
1

Honestly this too. I want a companion and a partner? Not someone's means to an end. And someone being mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 11:47 PM
1

I'm in a relationship 🤷🏻‍♀️.... So whatever I did worked It's honestly trial and error and pure luck? I say practice detachment put yourself first over a potential suitor especially in the first few months of dating. Don't sleep with a guy you are dating and want a relationship with wait a bit and pay attention to behavior. Horniness isn't compatibility. You don't know people's intentions? Actions speak louder than words. Consistency is something to add to that as well. But yeah honestly if it d…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 10:03 PM
1

Wow, so rude. Do you feel better? Nah I just don't want to be pestered in general. And you forget I said a majority of these pesterings are usually also men who just want sex. Or a woman shaped object but don't really care about you as a person. Not really for me either. Dating sucks for everyone and can be a crappy experience. Man or woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 08:13 PM
1

I think it's because the potential outcome. If someone is dating and they get a whiff, a crumb of attention you get wrapped up in the potential of someone. It could be potentially a relationship! It could be sex. What have you. And the stupid monkey brain fills in the blanks of how good this person must be. And when it goes wrong or doesn't work out. They internalize that rejection. "I'm not good enough" "I'm not _________ enough" "they only want". A lot of putting the horse before the carriage.…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 03:33 PM
5

Clingy ≠ Considerate. Clingy is someone chasing an outcome and you happen to be the package the outcome comes in. They want you to like them. They want you to date them. They are chasing a feeling. They are trying to force a connection. This is your constant texters. Constantly want to be around you. Being excessively flattering. Idealizing you. This is exhausting. Considerate is remembering little details. Considerate is being mindful of your space but also wanting to connect. It's genuine inte…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 02:53 PM
9

I think you missed my point. I'd choose the cute guy who gives me his all. Over drop dead sexy guy giving me breadcrumbs. I would not date someone I find unattractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 05:28 AM
11

Yes I think everyone struggles with dating. Women face rejection. But men will still sleep with you. Which can be really confusing to deal with. It's the most mixed message of mixed messages. A guy will pursue relentlessly, talk to you everyday, open up to you, flirt with you..... But not actually like you like that or want a relationship but acts like you're in a relationship? And its pretty much up to us to vet these guys out. And manage our own expectations and emotional bandwidth. And this t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 04:56 AM
-1

I think the biggest issue is so many people get caught up in the outcome of dating and not so much the process. Man or Woman. Before I got into my relationship. I treat dating like meeting a new person (the detachment). That's it. It could be sparks fly there's chemistry and we can go on a second date move on from there. Or go out get a drink and I'm chit chatting with a new person maybe no chemistry. And that early dating process is kind of essential. To kinda not focus on outcome and just focu…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 03:22 AM
5

Yeah I can see why you are single. Bro you really came in and said in front of a bunch of strangers. "Shut up and look pretty". Like if that's your attitude about women please stay single. Not caring about a woman and her aspirations or who she is a person? They deserve so much better. That's not even low preferences that's just, you don't want a partner. You don't seem mature/intelligent to even begin to traverse the depths of an adult relationship with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 12:25 AM
24

I would preface this by saying I would absolutely not date someone I find unattractive. It's not fair for them and it's not fair to me. I don't want to tolerate ones existence because they are generally good natured. That to me, is cruel and ruins a kind person for someone who could really appreciate them. If we are talking two men that I am roughly attracted to. One may not be as hot but still cute. I would say what would push him to being absolutely desirable. And like would blow the hot guy o…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 05:42 PM
2

How dorky are we talking. Is it like PPD "average male".... Dork... Whining about 80/20.. "modern women".. because pass. Or like has an action figure collection at home...? Because I find the second one absolutely adorable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 03:35 PM
4

I don't really like being "cold approached". If a guy wants to come up to me and have a conversation and it goes well. That would be cool we can exchange contact info and see where it goes. But if he just comes up and asks me out. It would feel super awkward I'd feel put on the spot.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 12:03 PM
0

I think a lot of people who struggle with relationships have an over idealized idea of what romantic love could be. It's the potential that this kind of love is revolutionary and groundbreaking. Like a romantic relationship is the pinnacle of human connection. And any other sort of relationship is somehow secondary. A romantic relationship would cure their loneliness. It would make them feel good enough. Fix their self esteem and they wouldn't feel bad all the time. And this out of reach and rar…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 10:57 PM
2

It is true? I'm not shallow I just don't find a lot of men attractive and it is special when I do find one attractive? I think men get self conscious about it. But literally it so variable.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 04:16 PM
1

My friends and family don't really get it either. 😬🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 03:40 PM
1

Men need any sustenance at all, yet cannot afford a sandwich shop - the best they can do is rummage through the garbage. I don't really see it as sustenance. A relationship isn't as necessary as food or shelter. It's a want you can want pizza and that's what you want to eat if you get a choice to eat out. But you have perfectly fine food at home. But if you want a treat and that treat is pizza you will browse for that. A relationship is a treat, romance is a perk it's a want. I think that's the …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 01:30 PM
–

No how this works bud. Not how any of this works. Couples pair up and it's usually not some evil hidden ulterior motive. If you are running into that? Maybe it's the circles you run in and you should "choose better".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 03:58 AM
1

Sexuality in itself is inherently selfish. You are doing something for your pleasure? So you are going to be factoring in your pleasure and the pleasure of someone else. It's hedonistic and yes in some ways selfish. Should care and consideration be a given for your sexual partner sure? Objectification and manipulative behavior to get one into the bedroom are appropriate behavior. And you should have consideration for your partner as well. Or throwing a hissy fit of you want sex but they don't. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 02:07 AM
–

I don't really need to prove anything. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 01:23 AM
–

Oh my god Chad's just living rent free in your mind. For what it's worth the some of the biggest assholes I have encountered in dating were guys I "gave a chance" to. They neg they do all the scummy things. Usually were......average men. Happily in a relationship with a "Chad" (dunno by your guy's standards probably is one lol) treats me well, doesn't have some bizarre hang up on sex and women, and enjoys my company and me as a person. He's a sweetie.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 01:05 AM
1

Oh no a woman with agency over her sexuality!? Most men who like women don't ask or care and see you as a person. A person who may have hooked up? A person who may have taken it slow. Because we are multifaceted individuals with different needs at different times. Shocking concept I know. Maybe you should examine why this is "nightmare fuel".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 12:56 AM
6

Their best foot forward would be like dressing up nice on a date. And as you get comfy being able to chill together in your Adam Sandler finest. (Sweats and ratty shirt) like that is totally acceptable being able to do nothing and not entertain your partner but enjoy their presence as you do life together. Totally fine. Not always having to do fun stuff and just enjoy quality time. But still want to if the occasion arises. But really just enjoying your partners presence. But withdrawing into vid…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 04:40 PM
-1

I don't really disagree with it. I do find a majority of men unattractive/unremarkable. And that's OK. It's not evil and not shallow and my standards are absolutely not warped by social media. I just have a specific preference and what I am looking for in someone. It's like wanting a pizza right you are craving that but all that's around are sandwich shops. Are sandwiches bad disgusting and gross? No? But you want pizza. So you will wait around until you find a pizza place. It's just personal pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 01:25 PM
9

Men being very vague and misleading about their intentions. But actually just wanting to hook up or get easy access to sex. So will say they want a relationship, looking for connection, or looking for love. But are actually just wanting a casual sexual relationship. And then seem put off that I may not actually want that or be a gentleman and let me make an informed decision on whether or not this would be okay. Lovebombing. Basically guys trying to expedite the steps of a relationship to gain i…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 01:05 PM
2

My type is effeminate twink. I like very androgynous men. Or men with really soft facial features. Really nice faces though. A nice smile. Longer hair. Like the shaggy longish hair. Absolutely no facial hair. If they can't grow a beard even better. My height or taller. Alternative. (Like into the music. Dresses that way) Nerdy. I like nerdy. Slender.. Think like Kellin Quinn. Vic Fuentes. Harsh Symmetry. And my boyfriend fits this perfectly. He's my type to the T. 😖
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 05:14 AM
1

My gosh, you are jumping to conclusions and putting things to my my mouth that I never said. And you have been doing the same for me. Assuming that I don't find a man desirable because I am not jumping in bed and being more cautious. , its what differs a random hookup from a meaningful relationship This. And if I want a meaningful relationship. I'm going to be vetting for companionship/compatibility. More so than sexual chemistry. Sexual chemistry is a given. If I am going on dates romantically …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 07:02 PM
0

You can't.. but that is just my opinion. Unless you want to be used for just sex by someone you want a meaningful relationship with. If sex is not part of the equation and they enjoy your presence and you gradually go into sex. That's likely someone who likes you for YOU. Not for the prospect of sex or thinking they have to endure your company to get sex instead of enjoying your company and enjoying you. It weeds out men with that mentality. Again horniness ≠ love. So without sex do I genuinely …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 05:50 PM
–

I want a man who matches my energy. I am a kind and attentive person. If my partner doesn't come with that with energy? We are not compatible. Stuff like this just poisons the well on how two people need to interact with each other in dating and relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 05:14 PM
0

You misunderstood somewhere where I said there is no desire. There is desire. I wouldn't date this person if there was none. Sexual chemistry is there because I am attracted and interested in this person. It's a given. Just because I'm not not sleeping with them immediately does not mean there isn't affection or desire. I'm physically affectionate. Im just not jumping into bed right away. It's about vetting. A guy in a relationship plays a more significant role than a guy who is a hook up guy. S…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 04:45 PM
1

It just shows the only thing you value is sex? I'm happily in a relationship. And my boyfriend also has the same mentality as me in regards to that. Maybe it's because we both have the option.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 10:25 PM
-1

Geography.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 10:53 PM
1

Relationship guy. Is relationship material. So I am vetting and getting to know him. I'm attracted to him we want the same things so I am going slow with him. Making sure he is a good partner. The connection isn't solely based upon sex. It's compatibility. Respect. Mutual affection. Having good conversations and generally just enjoying each other's company. Making this a consistent reliable thing. I care about him. There's a lot more going on a lot more things to vet for. This is someone I want …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 09:31 PM
9

Yes because one of the main things that should be focused on is companionship. A healthy relationship is a friendship. Albeit a little more intimate and affectionate. The foundation should be companionship. With horniness/butterflies off the table do you enjoy spending time with this person?!
/r/ExRedPill07/03/25 09:06 PM
13

Male sexual desire to me is the equivalent of Nosferatu. To me that is a perfect metaphor for it. If you have seen the new Nosferatu remake. It just wants to consume and will relentlessly pursue to consume. It's just lust and a drive. But there is no intention and interest. It's predatory in some ways because it's been said it's okay to lie, decieve, and manipulate for it. Basically causing harm as a means to quench a thirst. And that's what it's down to. Is a man's desire to consume you but it …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 07:29 PM
9

Mutual connection.. Meaning both parties want connection.. if one person is offering but not interested. It's not really a meaningful connection because it's not mutual. You aren't just going for the utility of someone? Just because they want a meaningful connection and you are looking for that doesn't mean it's a match just because they want the same thing as you. There's compatibility, attraction, and chemistry to factor in too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 06:39 PM
11

Attraction is part of the meaningful connection part. I don't understand why this is a hard concept to grasp. You have to be attracted to a person you are romantically involved with. There will be men willing to have a meaningful connection sure. But part of that connection is your desire to have a meaningful connection with them. If you do not find them desirable it kind of defeats the purpose no?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 05:30 PM
19

Just be handsome, bro”. lol. Or be honest? Average dudes get laid but most people don't like sex without companionship. Probably More than likely. It's sad. I'm sorry you got to this point.
/r/ExRedPill07/03/25 03:05 AM
3

The hasn't "met my standards" would come off as douchy. And he sounds arrogant and full of himself. But if he said "haven't met anyone I clicked with". "Haven't found that special someone". Then I would completely understand. And if he's happy being alone because he hasn't meet someone that is that. It's understandable.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 01:47 AM
10

I don't think that should be what you say to potential dates. It comes off as condescending (like dudes calling themselves alphas and High Value Men). But that should be your mindset while dating. If a guy comes in and plans to throw off your peace. (Being an asshole, treating you like an option, and playing games) you can just walk away.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 01:41 AM
29

Disagree. If you are only looking for someone to turn you on just be casual? There's so much more than sex. It's sad you reduce people to just that. Glad it is a turn off. You probably don't do healthy relationships.
/r/ExRedPill06/03/25 07:25 PM
42

It exists. Relationships aren't these bizarre power struggles. Its not this transactional agreement. And whatever else red pill/incel crap tells men. It's finding a human you enjoy spending time with. And spending time with them. Sex is part of that it's like the perk. But really the foundational thing is finding someone you enjoy spending time with and they enjoy spending time with you. Cuddling up on the couch playing games and enjoying each other's presence is kinda the bread and butter of it…
/r/ExRedPill06/03/25 05:40 PM
6

I agree with some of it but it's not unheard of revolutionary advice it's kind of practical things you should be doing anyways. You don't really need a "strategy". Centering yourself and putting your best interest first. This weeds out a lot of insecure/unserious men. A guy can't humble you. And take you down a few pegs if you have a healthy sense of self esteem. A guy can't manipulate you if you respect yourself. Invest in guys who invest in you. A guy who actually likes you. Is going to invest…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 04:50 PM
2

No? But she was probably being drunk and acting stupid. It's likely not your problem and her bad behavior isn't yours to internalize. No? But again it sounds like you dodged a bullet dealing with someone who makes outlandish accusations. Being used is just part and parcel with dating. Realize what is going on and cut it off. Words without actions is manipulation. People's actions are their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 05:46 AM
3

Okay. I'll bite. If you want to offer someone coffee. And they decline the coffee. Are you going to internalize why they don't want coffee? Are you going to spiral and hold them accountable for not accepting a cup of coffee? What's wrong with coffee? I saw them with coffee last week is it me?! Or "Oh okay" just move along with your day. It should be like that with romance. It's like offering someone a cup of coffee it's a nice gesture. But it's not always going to be reciprocated or wanted. Yes …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 01:46 AM
1

I think mind games only work on people who don't value themselves? I think if you have to resort to that you are already creating a relationship based upon inauthenticity. It works on damaged people. As soon as a guy pulls away. I just let it go. This isn't for me. I'm not going to chase or prove myself. Just let it go.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 01:32 AM
1

It's a REALLY tough cycle to break I feel a lot of these men the ones that lash out and are nasty online are stuck in that hopelessness. I can empathize but I don't agree with their actions. Social media/algorithms cater to that hopelessness and feed it. They don't have anything to break that confirmation bias. They stew in that negative head space and have others that do too so they just feed that. And it's easier to blame something external (women's standards, feminism, their looks, lack of in…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 01:27 AM
4

I think the "why" is basically hopelessness and a sense of injustice. People when they feel they been slighted or wronged tend to react in a big way. And these guys feel like it's an injustice is to why they aren't dating. They feel entitled to sex and attention because the concept of dating is so gamefied in online spaces (where they mostly are). So if they are doing these things why aren't they getting sex or attention. Why do women get it for just existing?! The horror! Hence why they also vi…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 08:24 PM
2

I think most men tend to take personal responsibility. You are likely not going to find these men here or prowling red pill spaces. Yelling and screeching about women not being accountable enough on an Instagram reel. Most men usually work on it. Go back out there. Maybe get shot down. But work on it. And eventually get some luck. Most men aren't the problem. There is a very vocal. I call them the Male loneliness epidemic men. Who will harp and go on. About how feminism ruined dating. How it's m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 06:49 PM
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Because it's not right? It's an extremely broad generalization on what women find attractive when in reality it's case by case. When you apply this logic to any sort of broad group of people it sounds ignorant and is ignorant. "All American people love hamburgers and football" " All women like hypermasculine rich high status men" Like these are extremely high catch all's trying to encapsulate a whole populations interest. And it's simply not like that. Are there. Attraction and preferences are n…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 02:24 PM
16

Effort from someone I am dating and attracted to? The absolute gold standard. I won't date a man who isn't reciprocating my effort? And a man who makes an effort. It should be something you look for in dating. Effort from a man I'm not into, does nothing. I just feel bad or obligated to acknowledge. I dated a guy who gave a lot of effort. And I hoped that, the needle would turn for them physically just wasn't there for me. Kinda looked like Casey Nystat. Not really my type. It didn't it didn't w…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 02:31 AM
2

I believe in some of the principles of FDS. I think it's a good way to avoid being played and used. And uses men's "rules" in dating date like a man. Dating men who invest in you. Upping your standards. Avoiding situationships and noncommittal men. I don't agree with calling guys names. And treating them poorly. But always have your best interest and find a man who also has your best interest in mind. However this is true that you may have to be alone because a good partner is hard to come by? B…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 02:21 AM
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I think because it's applied to blackpill/red pill think spaces. As in it's exclusionary to ALL men except these ones that are the typical shallow standards (rich, high standing, and attractive by manosphere metrics). It's not really actually that person's preference. It's kind of common sense if you are going into dating you are going to have standards and preferences that will be exclusionary to a wide variety of people because only you know what you want. So everyone's 10%-20% will be differe…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 08:55 PM
1

I think it depends contextually. If your partner takes and takes and the excuse is doing what's best for her. Then obviously being selfish. If your partner suddenly has a decline in effort because they have stressful life situations going on and communicates that they are taking some time to do what's best for them. That isn't really selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 08:51 PM
4

That’s the secret that women aren’t willing to admit. The secret is that 80-90% of men are completely unappealing and repulsive to women. This isn't a secret though. And it's not something to be bitter and angry about. I want a man who is attractive to me I'm into effeminate twink guys who are a bit on the nerdy side. And then you add things like shared interests/hobbies. Chemistry. And yeah it narrows out a lot of the dating pool. Because this is what I am looking for. So of course 20% of those…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 05:27 PM
4

I don't think we are trying to do anything. It's not some dark secret that we like looks. We want to be physically attracted to the man we are seeing. It's not this dirty laundry we don't want anyone seeing. It goes without saying. We like attractive to us men. I say "attractive to" because we aren't a hivemind and we have different things that we are attracted to. Despite what sexless scrooges and manosphere guys say our attraction varies. Also in regards to that. If you mention that you value …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 04:26 PM
2

Women want good men? I think mistakes are made when bad men pretend to be good men. And usually when you first meet a guy he's "a good man" you're usually meeting their representative. You have to let time take it's course you have to go through the seasons of someone before you can decide if they are good? If someone is in a rush to make you think they are a good man probably not a good man.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 01:17 AM
1

The bar for female models are really really low If it's "all body types" open call. If you are slender or toned you're not making it. It's usually more for plus size. Such is life. Blabbering You didn't refute my point you are doing the equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ear and saying I can't hear you. Fyi I'm more into effeminate men. So I find a small niche group of men attractive. That tend to be more effeminate looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 08:46 PM
1

Oh absolutely agree. I think if you are vetting for a long term relationship. Holding off on having sex is your best bet. So you can really get to know them first. If they don't want to wait and make you feel pressured. You got what they were looking for or their attitudes in regards to sex, they feel entitled. It's a great filtering strategy
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 07:39 PM
-1

It works in a relationship 😘 It filters out guys who see sex as something transactional or a bargaining chip and actually wants to connect and get to know you. It filters out guys who are only looking for sex and see you just as a means for sex. The ones that stick around and want to spend time with you are actually interested in you. And not interested in what's between your legs. And actually find a guy who likes you for you. It's more about gathering information and enjoying each other's comp…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 06:48 PM
3

I find a majority of men unattractive. Because I have my weird niche of men I find attractive. I work hard on my body take care of myself. Have well rounded hobbies. Have a growth mindset. So I value myself enough to hold out for someone I'm into and is into me. Oh and I have actually modeled. 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 04:01 PM
3

Again with chads?! He just lives in your guy's head rent free. It's hardly these imaginary model chads doing this. It's usually just average dudes who use the app. The thing is apps are a magnet for emotionally unavailable people. (Aka your commitment-phobic people, casual daters, and situationship haver). It's quick impersonal and easy you can swipe while taking a dump. It requires little to no effort. Vetting and standards and withholding sex until a connection is established is best.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:51 PM
3

Most average men fall into being attractive or unattractive. Like most of us aren't chasing rich celebrities. Just normal dudes who we think are attractive by our metrics? I'd never say the men that I found attractive were models. They are just average men that I found really cute and wanted to get to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 05:29 AM
3

I'm talking about dating apps. Because I don't see this upper echelon of men you are going on about. I have seen ones that may be stereotypically that 5%. Finance/Media/ Tech/ living in like Laguna Beach. Model chiseled abs. Usually a swipe left. Because I have nothing in common with this man. Why would I want to date him? But I am sure it's a lot more gradient than that
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 04:49 AM
1

Doubting. First it's 80/20 the. It's 95/5. Plenty of men in between get attention as well. It's not just this one group of men?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 04:37 AM
6

Most guys want the benefits and not the friendship.. it's very rare that there is a "good" casual thing. I'm in a relationship? So not really casual bang buddy shopping.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 04:24 AM
2

Are we back to "unattractive man.. good. Man you find attractive...bad" again? Attractive good guys exist.. I'd rather take my time and date a guy I am attracted to? And figure out if he is good or bad. By getting to know them. If they are interested in me they will do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 04:22 AM
2

Chad is living in your head rent free. I was merely talking about preferences. Things people like. I don't like mayo. People love the stuff. I think it's gross. Kinda like how women like beards and I think they are gross. Chad wasn't even part of the conversation. I think people should obviously NOT date an asshole. If you find assholes attractive and prefer assholes and wonder why every guy you date is an asshole. And you should probably not date assholes. And every guy has assholeish behavior.…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 02:39 AM
14

Yeah and there's the insult. Sexual attention for women is nothing. We were sexualized before we even knew we were sexualized. Because men here, and practically everywhere talk about how a girl they would fuck and just fuck is not good. Not good enough for commitment. Not attractive enough but attractive enough to sleep with. Not worthy. Not respectable. "For the streets" "For recreational use only" "pump and dump" "slut..hoe...bop" And that sex isn't sex for us or with our pleasure in mind. It'…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 01:13 AM
2

Sure maybe some introspection. I think if your preferences are causing you harm you may need to look within. And figure out why you are pursuing and entertaining that. This would be like "men who come on really hot and heavy and then make you chase after a period of time and breadcrumb". And feeling repulsed if a guy doesn't give you IMMEDIATE signs of interest or not interested. Like someone like that needs to look within. I think if you just prefer someone taller than you than that's just your…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:27 PM
2

I prefer feminine men. 😐 I'm not quite the one to be debating about how individual preferences are societally influenced. Since I think my preferences are a big counter to the societal norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:17 PM
11

Dating apps seem like a smorgasbord for women because it's like shooting fish in a barrel. You get all the single men in your area. It's not. Some of those men are married/in relationships and looking for a sexting buddy or extracurricular activities. A lot of men want sex at the lowest amount of effort. 80% of men I would say fall into this. A lot of men want just sex. And not really care about the person they are having sex with. Lying or misleading about intentions. So they can just get sex. …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 09:39 PM
5

I think you can't logic your way around attraction and what you find attractive. It's nonsensical and entirely up to the beholder. It's like for food. Some people love a certain food. But some others will shudder at the mention of said food. Even though logically it's not a bad food others like it. Someone else would have visceral reaction. The same can be said about preferences in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 08:07 PM
1

I think even the unassuming man can be a problem. A lot of women chose the safe guy. The nice guy who just wanted a girlfriend. But he ends up treating her really badly. The less attractive guy who she thinks would be nicer to her but he ends up being a total jerk and wants to "humble" her because he's insecure with himself. And takes his insecurities out on her. The boring guy may put a lot of effort into the relationship in the beginning. To woo her. And she realizes he doesn't want to do thos…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 07:45 PM
1

On dating sites "how much money do you make an hour?" and so on are common questions lolol This is news to me. Should I be asking that?! Lolol I always thought it was rude. I ask what do you do for a living. I just want to see if they are gainfully employed. Work is a huge part of someone's life so I ask about it. I'm working middle class so I figure most men in my pool are likely the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 03:21 AM
0

I'm not even saying ugly. If that's how you interpreted it well that's on you. 75 is incompatible. Whether it's physical attraction (which yes is a part of sexual compatibility you want to have some semblance of attraction or want to be physically affectionate). Or lifestyle differences. A more trad guy would likely be a no go for me. A Christian would be a hell no. A guy who travels for work and would be gone months at a time would likely be a no go. A guy who into Drake likes flashy cars and h…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 12:50 AM
1

I'd imagine if that person just valued money. Or you lead in the relationship with I have a six figures salary you attract people who would want you for your salary. Unless there was other circumstances. Most people look past money or don't date for money. If someone lost their job got insecure about not having money. Treated me different because they lost their job. I would leave not because they lost their job but they took it out on me. No, no we don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 12:11 AM
1

Romantic relationships are not unconditional? There is definitely conditions. If I stopped reciprocating and treating my partner like a burden. And expecting them to meet all my needs. I would rightfully be dumped. Because you shouldn't treat someone like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 11:59 PM
5

I don't see my boyfriend as a commodity? He's a lovely person. I genuinely enjoy his company. He's thoughtful and considerate. He's not a resource I had to secure. He's my companion and I am his. And I got together with him based on the fact I genuinely enjoyed his company. We have a very egalitarian relationship. We are both very career and goal driven people.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 11:16 PM
6

Agreed.. I think most men struggle with the misogynistic part. Even unknowingly. I think they see women as a commodity as opposed to a human connection. It's something they can cheat code and wiggle their way into and women will give them unconditional love and support while they don't have to lift a finger. I do think this comes from parenting.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 09:18 PM
5

I think most people are deeply flawed. We are human. We have negative experiences that change us. Challenging upbringings. And we have to make of it what we will. I think the difference is a lot of people know and accept and understand these flaws. And know it's their problem they have to work and grow from it. Which takes self awareness. I think at the core of these deeply flawed individuals is a lack of self awareness.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 09:05 PM
-1

I'm criticizing men because a lot of the issues are on men. Because I am heterosexual and only have experiences dating men. So these are the bad behaviors I have encountered and have seen and heard others encounter as well are with men. It's not misandry if I am basing it off of lived experiences? I'm just going off things I have dealt with and friends have dealt with. I don't doubt that women can be selfish, vindictive, and cruel. They can be. Romance scammers. Gold digging. Feeling entitled to…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 08:15 PM
9

Work on your self worth and self esteem. You are worth finding a partner YOU find desirable and finds YOU desirable. Like you shouldn't feel you have to date someone you don't find attractive to find love. That's absurd.
/r/ExRedPill01/03/25 05:24 PM
1

"Choose better" only works if there isn't an issue of manipulative, selfish, and dishonest men. Men who put their own interests before the interest of others. Men who have a means to an end mindset that caters to their interest instead of those who it would effect. (Disclaimer NOT all men) I do agree if you notice a pattern maybe step away from dating and heal. And figure out what it is and work through it. Work on yourself and self worth. Have better boundaries. Be content with choosing yoursel…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 05:14 PM
1

It's a mixed experience. I would say the apps are pretty much what you make of it. I had a few disappointments. Some shitheads. Dead end first dates. Desperate guys. Audacious behavior. But I ended up meeting my now partner? So they worked. I think using the apps as a tool is crucial. Don't hedge your bets on them. Use other avenues to meet people? But keep apps as a tool. It would say vetting takes longer. But I am glad with who I found on them. Definitely a glitch in the algorithm.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 05:49 AM
–

I think most people will blame the external thing because the shame of looking inward that YOU might be the problem brings shame and embarrassment. Which a lot of these guys probably have a deep shame wound So of course the path of least resistance and least troubling would be to blame women's standards being too high. That somehow we all expect a celebrity to whisk us away into his castle. And obviously it's only Chad we want. It's only the top 20% of men. It's these pesky high standards that n…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 01:42 AM
0

Give it to women to always find a way of rationalizing it. Either way, unless women stop choosing the Barista in their 20s, you're just gonna keep driving men into Redpill circles. I believe the Redpill only exists as a way to decondition young men from being a woman's retirement plan. It's essentially targeting to wipe out the golden retriever types or beta types of men by showing them how unfair the kind of game they are playing is rigged. Because people are young and dumb and don't make good …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 04:25 PM
2

No because I'm your 20s you are usually in school, working a dead end job to get by, and Emotionally immature. You are learning. And figuring out how to tackle life around you. Hence why a lot of young marriages don't work out. (unless religious). You rather come prepared. Emotionally mature. And have a spot to stand in and be a better partner. And look for a partner that reflects that. It's not sacrificing attraction. It's not af/bb it's literally meeting someone where you are? Because you have…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 03:29 PM
0

It comes down to projection. And a revenge fantasy. They want the attractive guy to not take you seriously. Because you shot too out of your league and Mr. Nice Guy didn't even get a chance. If they had the attention that an attractive man had they would likely be menaces and treat women poorly based upon how hot they think they are. The thing I notice with attractive men. Is they are more picky. They can get easy sex if they want but it loses its charm if you want a relationship. If you have "o…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 08:16 AM
1

Maturity plays a big part of this. It's not settling or being less attracted to someone. As you mature your preferences change not by some insidious I'm trying to sucker a guy but because you matured in life too. The barista living in his parents pool house is cool when you are in your early 20s. And that is appropriate. But in your 30s, after getting your degrees that's not really a feasible or good option.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 08:04 AM
4

Husband Material to me is a huge compliment. It literally means, you are the total package. You have the physical attraction down. Obviously if you dating them and seeing them you are attracted to them. You could see them for life. And it means you meet all my emotional needs too. Like my anxiety isn't triggered. You bring peace. I enjoy your company. You are reliable and stable. You are loveable.... Not just fuckable. That is a flex.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 08:41 PM
1

I think the issue is and red pill seems to advocate this is that dating is some kind of meritocracy. That you have to earn your place you have to be worthy and be worthy of commitment/desire what have you. And the truth is it simply doesn't work like that. There's other factors at play. That's why you will see the fat lady with the fit gym guy. You may see a bald fat guy with a girlfriend. (these are observations I have seen with my own eyes). You will see things that seem improbable but work fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 06:52 PM
1

That is true. A lot of women pay attention to how your date talks to service workers. It's really a thing you watch for. If he's rude to them. Doesn't tip. Talks down to them. While on your date it's an instant mood killer. Do you really want to go home with a guy who snapped his fingers at a waiter and sent his food order back. That would be embarrassing? He can be very hot. But if he talks down to you or doesn't let you get a word in. Or patronizing. Negs you constantly. No matter how hot he i…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:44 AM
1

I think the issue with your thinking is you think there is some logical mathematical sensible solution. For something that is emotional, feelings based and irrational. You can't match people who you think are in relatively similar leagues. Because there are things like compatibility, attraction, and chemistry to think about. There's a whole reason why good on paper is a thing. But when together there's no chemistry or compatibility. So you can't really choose better.... Or compromise on what you…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:35 AM
-1

Most women do agree. That it's a combination of personality and looks. I don't think we are all salivating over the guy who punches holes in wall, because he is big upset over his football team losing. Or an asocial dweeb going on a misogynistic rant about women just wanting chad is kind of collectively a turn off. They are not mutually exclusive. You can be pleasant to be around. AND good looking. Why are y'all so bothered about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:10 AM
0

If you have no chemistry/aren't attracted to them it is undatable for either party. You can't force two people together who you think have arbitrarily similar values and watch them form a relationship. Life doesn't work like that. Relationships don't work like that. These top% men you guys go on about is going to look different for everyone. Because people have differing preferences and things they look for and average men are part of it. So that's bunk already. I can't tell you how many times m…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 02:20 AM
–

Here it's whatever to be expected. I'm talking IRL. Haha or men I turn down that ask why or I am lying. Like no bro you're too manly for me. It's a compliment.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 06:57 PM
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It's not about approval. It's literally being told you don't actually like that.. or debate with you on what you actually like.. and it's like no.... I actually like this.. I like not very masculine nerdy men. More on the feminine side. It's my thing.. I say that and it's somehow no you don't actually like that!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:36 PM
–

I'm honest about it. Apparently I'm lying or fucked in the head and a social reject? We are honest but men choose not to listen or believe it
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 04:09 PM
–

Standards exist like a filter. It filters people who would be more for you leaving out ones who wouldn't be for you. You should have them because it's about quality vs quantity. So narrowing down your potential pool is a good thing. It saves time and puts you in with people who would be more for you. You have to have a good sense of self, and self esteem and think you are worthy of them. Standards are the non-negotiables you are looking for dating. Basically. Must like Women. Monogamous. Kind an…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 02:09 PM
1

You don't go out a lot. You work and don't have time to go to your local bar, pub, coffee shop every day. Sometimes those options in real life aren't good options? (Unattractive. Conservative. Not compatible with you). You can do this at home in your PJs and be passive about it. Dating apps are an easy way to browse your local pool and find someone you may find attractive and have more in common with.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:45 AM
-2

Alpha and beta is literally just astrology for dude bros. Oh you like to take charge ...that's such an alpha quality bro!!! Oh man's is shy.... He's definitely a beta. It's literally the same thing. Oh she is short tempered..... Such an Aries bro. She's all about getting her bag...such a Capricorn. Can't convince me it's different. Lol 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:14 AM
2

No, it NEEDS to be said. Why omit it? To seem morally superior and holier than thou, that's why, even though women are FAR MORE shallow and rigid in their looks standards than men It's not really omitted. I just won't date someone I don't find attractive? It's not to be holier than thou it's kind of a common sense thing. If you boil water. Do you need the instructions add water if you are boiling water? And why call someone who YOU don't find attractive ugly. That's rude. Just because I don't fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:41 AM
-1

Looks get them in the door personality keeps them in. I don't think anyone here would deny physical attraction plays an important role. It goes without saying that we want to be physically attracted to the man we are dating. Do YOU want to be physically attracted to the person you are dating? I don't understand how this is shallow or a startling revelation that has to be said. Yes looks do matter. No it's not the ONLY thing that matters. It's a combination of good looks and decent personality. L…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 08:46 PM
0

Or you just refuse to listen. If you are in a position where you feel unattractive. Just putting a little more effort into yourself? If you feel better about yourself on the inside it shows on the outside. Also addressing self image issues head on. And working through them. And when you feel like shit about yourself you tend to not be motivated to take pride in yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 01:39 PM
1

Because it's obvious we are being approached and a guys trying to date and it just feels fake? To me personally. I like being approached on the premise that I have something interesting to say. They are genuinely enjoying the conversation or my company. A reason is to why they want to date me. If a guy is just approaching because he thinks I'm hot and trying his luck it feels awkward and like on the spot. Guys will come up and instead of make conversation chit chat break the ice. Will say some g…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 12:37 AM
1

Few things how would you know a woman isn't attracted to you without approaching first? If it is about looks, there are men who have approached even women less aesthetically pleasing than them but get no positive response and those men don't have other women interested in them. Assuming you aren't cold approaching every single woman you meet. Which there's your issue there assuming every interaction with a woman has to be a romantic interaction. Most women will let you know they are interested. …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 11:02 PM
-4

Most women agree though. I have never met someone who goes oh he's a real asshole. He punches holes in the wall and has the emotional range of a teaspoon. And refers to women as females. He's so hot. Personality does matter
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 10:04 PM
-4

No. No it's not. There's just a vast majority of men that are not datable. To my first point a guy who doesn't see women as a men's to end for sex. Your example of treating women like they are disposable isn't really an example of a guy who would be a viable partner. That's not really a top cream of the crop kind of guy. Especially if a man sees a woman as disposable. Not quite a good guy or a good dating option. Especially a guy who would think of someone as "mid". It goes back to my point of a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:08 PM
-2

That's totally fine if I am not in their league that's not really a league I would care to be in to be honest. I'm content with the league I am in 🤷🏻‍♀️.. I'm content with my looks it's working for me. I don't want to be around or associate with assholes. So if they don't want me that's great. I'm doing what I need to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 08:55 PM
-7

Until they open their mouths. I go dry at a guy who is rude. Like lady boner gone if I see a guy treat a service worker rude. If he is short and rude with others. I don't know. I'm one woman but personality and looks matter to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 07:44 PM
0

Many guys struggling, are functional adults. Many guys getting laid are not. The point is that being a normal functioning human is not the deciding factor so it's disingenuous to suggest why some men struggle, while complaining that the men who do get dates and sex don't do those things. Obviously attractiveness is the key factor before anything. Sure. I believe a lot are and struggle. Dating isn't easy for anyone and finding connections with others is a hard task. But a lot of the times. Guys w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 07:41 PM
-5

Wahhh some women have preferences I don't meet so they must like shit dudes. Because unattractive or men that we aren't into isn't magically going to be a guy who's somehow going to treat us better and we need to stop with this. You aren't going to date a woman you don't find attractive. Why would you expect women to do the same. I don't understand this or this expectation that we need to just take one for the team and give the guy we aren't into a chance. And being upset and jaded by it all bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 06:50 PM
0

Women have been very vocal about what we want. Men just choose not to listen. Or that our attraction or things we want are somehow whimsical girlish things. We actually do not know or it's not based in reality. Or we are asking for too much. I think men are too focused on it. And they try to look at women's preferences as a monolith instead of focusing on the individual woman. There's no universally appealing man. Behaviorally or physically. Much like there is no universally attractive woman or …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 06:33 PM
1

I think when the "Bar is in hell" is mentioned and when it gets said a lot is in regards to a man behaving like a functional person. Like a guy who washes his sheets regularly Now any given functional adult should be able to clean up after themselves and their living space. But men are praised and congratulated for it. As if it's not something that men would think to do. A man who cleans underneath his fingernails. A man who cleans his beard clippings out of the sink. A guy who has some function…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 05:58 PM
-3

It's true though? You can be the hottest guy. But if you are rude or talk down to people and generally a prick. It kills any semblance of attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 04:53 PM
1

"Lean physique" Nah very slender. Was allergic to a lot of foods. Lol thought he was cute because we shared similar tastes in music. And he didn't have a beard. I'm utterly shocked. I'm sure if he ever cheats on you, you'll go on to say that he was also manipulative and that the issue is still not with the way that you vet your partners. No the draw and the thing I liked is he isn't manipulative at all. And not the cheating type whatsoever. He would leave before he would cheat. Which fair enough…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 04:46 PM
2

I don't believe you I would hardly call them "Chads". A 5'8 scrawny sickly STEM nerd who carried a man purse is hardly a Chad. Ended up being really manipulative and cruel. However my now boyfriend is Chad tier. He courted me and is very kind. 6ft tall well dressed. Charismatic. Fun. And we ended up being in a relationship together. I believe this, you're just absolutely chasing Chads. I'm even more convinced now. Nah, I go after dudes I'm attracted to? Not really Chad's. It's just managing my e…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 03:56 AM
1

No. I think it ultimately kind just depends on their character already. Hot people can be shitty. Just as much as someone who isn't hot can be shitty. It depends on just who they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:48 PM
2

I personally think it's all interchangeable. Tomato/Tomahto. Like it's the same thing. It's guys who want NSA sex. One group will just solicit anyone and everyone. The other will lie/cheat/and deceive for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 03:10 AM
1

My experience has been more of the emotionally manipulative types. Covert Fuckboys if you will. The thing that weeds out these guys is time. If they are telling you "I think you're the one" "I can't stop thinking about you" "You're what I have been looking for" basically any sweet nothing within like a few days or weeks of knowing you. Or lining up back to back to back dates. They are trying to rush intimacy and get those sweet feelings for them going. These dudes will constantly messaging you a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 01:47 AM
1

Oh brother. The manipulative ones were hardly "chads". But nice try though. They were nice until they weren't. I usually vet for about 3 months. If they are still nice after that 3 month mark. Probably a good dude. If they fizzle out. Slow ghost. Switch up. You kinda already know what they were after. Again I would not engage with someone like that. But you know where they stand and if you go with it. It's on you. Men without options are not inherently better because they don't have options. Thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 05:57 PM
0

I don't think LVM were even a discussion here. That's a self insert. I was talking about fuckboys. These are both fuckboys. Covert. And overt. Covert fuck boys are a wolf in sheep's clothing. Using manipulation, and getting emotional intimacy. To try and get NSA sex. "Nice Guys". Overt. Is just a wolf. You see it's a wolf you know it's a wolf. You can avoid the wolf. Like you know what it is. They just outright will ask for NSA sex. Their behavior doesn't say different. The thing is they are bot…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 04:12 PM
3

As much as you would like to "hold me accountable". No. Because it's not a "me" problem. And it's best not to internalize the actions of others. The first guy I mentioned, is usually the kind that women run into frequently while dating. And what separates this guy from like a decent not fuckboy type. Is time a guy who is more intentional will take his time. Because the first guy I mentioned will do this intense thing in the beginning like a few weeks in a month in. Hot and heavy to pursue very s…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 01:34 PM
24

My experience the fuckboys are the nice guys. These guys come in very sweet and kind. Say all the nice things. Do so much. Play boyfriend for a few months. Then dip. Ghost. Switch up. What have you. They kinda have to play a character of a nice caring harmless boyfriend like guy. They support you. Your guard goes down. Then they have the audacity to play you after all of that. At least the I just wanna fuck "bad boy" types. You kind of know what you are getting into.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 07:04 AM
1

While I do agree that this is often a platitude said to single people. And it's said way too much because you do not know this person. And wanting a relationship isn't a self esteem issue. It's human nature. Needing a relationship to feel good about yourself is a self esteem issue. I do think it is true, and it takes a lot of self awareness to get to that point. If you have a slew of agonizing talking stages, bad break ups, general bullshittery, and settling for less. YOU are likely the problem.…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 01:33 AM
3

Healthy self esteem likely parents who nurtured a healthy sense of self. And preserved that sense of self..so they do not tolerate bullshit behavior. Most parents try their best but mess up a little bit. Either by being too critical. Or preoccupied. Emotionally immature. So it effects the kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 03:35 AM
1

It doesn't work like this. So many things wrong. First the assumption that you know are somehow the arbiter of a woman's value. And comparing them to only fans and whatever else. And from my lived experiences. Guys who are willing to drop a lot on a date. Either are bad news. Basically flaunting their money and wealth. In hopes in gets them access to sex faster. Or they are really desperate and literally putting all their eggs in one basket. And hoping and praying it works with you. They are lov…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 02:05 AM
1

This is just your revenge fantasy your projecting on to the broad expanse of women. That somehow all women are fat and expecting to be fed. Again weird. Average people get with average people all the time. It's the norm. It can be cheap drink dates. Low pressure meet ups maybe a coffee date. Maybe a drink date. But average people pair off and sometimes have average babies. Average people date without thinking the person has to EARN it. Or be worthy of being treated nice. Most people are okay wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 11:54 PM
1

Because young people are dumb. They think they are the exception to the rule. You can have evidence that this is bad. You have everyone telling you this is bad. Everyone can say THIS IS BAD. But they will be like no you see it's different! You'll see and it's a lesson you have to learn for yourself. And usually it's a lesson of self. Self respect and boundaries and knowing what bad feels like. And also there is instances where you deal with bad family dynamics where you haven't got to establish …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 11:48 PM
1

I would disagree. I think the biggest issue with online dating. Is you are going from strangers.....to lovers. Where before usually you meet others through friends, hobbies, and other social circles. So there is rapport and familiarity so you can organically know or get to know someone. With online you are missing a huge step. So they could be anyone. And hence why you deal with more audacious behavior because there's not that social filter they go through. I think it takes longer personally? Ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 09:02 PM
6

I think if you are looking at a relationship as a leader/subordinate thing. You are already messing up at a relationship. It's not about who wears the pants. It's more about partnership and compatibility. Not about who says jump and the other asks how high. It's about teamwork and navigating life together as a team a coordinating with one another. Not one person leading and setting the rules the other has to follow to keep the peace. You have your strengths and weaknesses. Unless there is just b…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 08:56 PM
5

Yeah it's called loving yourself and and maturing. Dating a guy who's an emotional rollercoaster if you don't know better is exciting you can totally win him over. This is part of it falling in love is exciting. You want to prove yourself. Because if you can win this guy over you are good enough. And the breadcrumbs and intermittent rewards become addictive. And then you realize that it is more annoying than cute. And this kind of guy is a pain and sadly too many out there are like that. But as …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 09:04 PM
0

Oh jeez huff some more copium. I'm in a relationship. My first date with my now boyfriend was a dive bar goth night. And he bought my two beers. We sat danced with each other. Our third date was a big pricier still the same kind of vibe. Never asked him to pay he did. I got sneaky and bought his drink probably our 5th and 6th date because I wanted to make it up to him. I'm saying your first date shouldn't be expensive if it's just a getting to know you. Because if all else fails and the date suc…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 06:03 PM
10

Absolutely NOT. If I am even agreeing to meet up I don't even know if I will like this person why do I want them dropping money on me? Like a dinner or expensive date as a first date especially with dating app dudes is this awkward formal thing. A dinner or expensive date with someone you don't even know? Like what if the vibe is off and you are stuck eating dinner with someone who you don't even like that much and it's rude to walk out. Like I will take the low effort/coffee or drink date any d…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:39 PM
0

If your entire worth (we aren't talking like money or status). We are saying just your value as a person is judged by how pretty you are. And how you are treated is by how pretty you are or how beautiful you are perceived. You would complain about beauty standards. I think in the context of dating. Most water finds its level? Most people pair off and are attracted to whom they pair off with.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 09:03 PM
1

Id say it varies on a spectrum. Because most of us aren't Megan Fox. And most of us aren't Susan Boyle we all fall along a spectrum. There is celebrity attractive. Where you have money and people to make sure you are attractive. Everyone would be a 10 if you had an entourage of stylists, make up artists, hairstylists. Surgeons. Time for treatments. Skin care experts. And professional photographers at your beckoned whim. And then there is less fortunate with looks. Which it sucks but being univer…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:49 PM
2

For women. It's really steep. You have to adhere socially to some prescribed beauty standard. Like getting jobs. Getting favor. You get bullied relentlessly. And a lot of women's worth sadly is how pretty we are deemed. You could be the smartest/kindest woman. But if you aren't up to a beauty standard or tick a box how dare you have self esteem?!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:51 PM
1

Looks are completely subjective. We all find different things attractive. And what people find physically attractive varies. Like some person's imperfections would be the thing someone finds uniquely attractive. People's flaws make them unique? There isn't this one size fits all mass produced standardized brand of attractive. It's completely a unique experience and at the core an individual experience. It has emotional/physical reasons. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 02:28 AM
2

Never had a issue with it. My partner opens up to me all the time. And it feels good that he feels safe enough to do so. It's part of the whole connection part. If he couldn't be emotionally vulnerable with me there would be no relationship. I do take offense. However. If they blow up because they had a bad day. And take it out on me. I understand they are in their feelings but yelling at me and slamming stuff. Because you are upset that you do not feel good and your dad pissed you off and getti…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:46 PM
3

I would say for attractive it's cared for. Their smile. How they style themselves. How they dress? Overall just grooming. More so than the space between their eyeballs or jawline.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 08:44 PM
3

It's not blame. Why should someone date someone who refers to themselves as low value? If you value yourself why would you date someone who is "low value"? How is that picking better?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 08:38 PM
0

It's always choose better. And then guys have the surprised pikachu face when they don't get chosen! The thing with choosing better is higher standards/better boundaries. Which a lot of men seem to take offense to. Men lie they lie about who they are. They lie about levels of commitment. They lie about intention. To get women to sleep with them be in a relationship with them. So with higher standards. High boundaries. And also having a strong sense of self worth and knowing what you are looking …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:49 PM
3

For me it's going into a social interaction 100% fixated on what you want to get out of it, and zero interest the other person as an equal human. THIS 100%! I think it's going into any interaction with the expectation of some outcome. I think that's where a lot of people fuck up in dating and get so burned. I also think this digital thing we have built around relationships is to blame. Like the constant texting/communication. You can be anyone in text. And it's easy to fall for have these crazy …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 03:50 AM
1

Yeah it's a total pass... It's usually basically like.. maybe a thirst trap it doesn't do much I guess like I know what you are trying to do here? I'm also not really into gym bodies. Like it's cool you do all that. But one can only listen to someone harp on about creatine and protein and go to the gym 7 days a week. Grats. I go to the gym like 3 days a week fitness isn't life. I like cared for bodies? Like you are a functioning person who takes care of themselves. But the gym selfies just don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 10:30 PM
-1

They do.. A lot don't make it pass the do I find them cute part. But my idea of cute will be different. I'm not into super masculine guys or beards? So slender Twink men who shave will likely be more on my radar. My hairstylist likes mustaches. I am like ew no.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 10:09 PM
1

Again it's a personal problem not a societal issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 07:55 PM
0

Honestly... I will demystify my process. So I am swiping. I see a profile. "Is he cute?" Yes/no Next picture. Is it something to my tastes (not a gym selfie, not some weird shirtless photo, not smoking a blunt, not a car) "He's cute" Then I read the bio. If the bio is just generic fluff. "Pineapple doesn't go on pizza" "fluent in sarcasm" "This year I want to..... Travel more". Then swipe left. Not interested. But if the bio is something unique or silly. One guy was causing mayhem at an old folk…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 07:45 PM
55

There is a few things I can say can be perceived as creepy *Unfortunately being unattractive. If you are poorly dressed groomed balding. (I'm thinking looking like Karl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force). You may be automatically seen as creepy. It sucks but it's life. *Not reading the room. If you are sitting there shooting your shot and the person is not picking up what you are putting down. Don't keep trying. *Not taking no for answer. If it's a "No" that's a full sentence. You don't need a 5 parag…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 07:31 PM
3

You deal? Or you do something about it. I think being sad about being single will just lead you into dead end situations though. Because at that point you are looking for someone to fill a space to fix a feeling. You tend to attract bottom of the barrel because /you/ are bottom of the barrel. This is your golddiggers, your users, and generally toxic people. Or someone you clearly aren't that into but they are the most available to try and fix that feeling (unloved, lonely, etc) Dating is much mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 02:35 AM
2

It's not based in science though. It's based on feelings and biases. There's no quantifying data and proven method to pick up women. It's feelings masquerading as fact. I do not, it's theoretical at best but a lot of of it can be disproven as well. It depends on what the nomadic tribes wanted? Women have proven to be hunters as well. I can't tell you what cavewomen thought was attractive or not. Probably proximity had something to do with it. And what tribes were intermingled. Hence why neandert…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 02:01 AM
7

Evo psych is hardly science. It's theory and speculation into behavioral patterns. Kinda like how flat earth theory is "science". And they can test and show their reasoning for why flat earth is science and people who believe it will show you why the earth is flat. Also how antivax people will cherry pick certain studies that show vaccines aren't safe and you are being lied to. But there is overwhelming data to prove they are safe to their 1 9r 2 handpicked studies that show some adverse effects…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 01:13 AM
7

Boredom. Maybe to offer a counter point to them being absolutely absurdly out of touch. Entertainment mostly. Some of these things are just goofy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 12:54 AM
3

Or just avoid a guy who's gone 40 years with out love. Sounds like he's got a chip on his shoulder?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 11:41 PM
6

I participate in a debate sub. Debating against manosphere. There is hardly truth to it the only thing I agree on is the self improvement aspect. Because obviously if dating isn't working sometimes working on yourself is all you can do. Work on your mental health. Physical health. Self image. But this is a no duh kind of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 11:37 PM
4

Red Pill/Manosphere/Incel spaces Deeply insecure and wounded. Would likely take it out on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 08:40 PM
17

I think you are trying to justify romantic loneliness. Most people are not okay with isolation. Being isolated and lonely is not good. That is detrimental to your mental health. People who are disabled or elderly who cannot frequently interact with others suffer negative outcomes. People can be fulfilled and happy. Without a romantic relationship. You can be single and enjoy your own life even celibate and enjoy your life without the prospect of a romantic relationship. Some people aren't lonely…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 07:11 PM
1

And you know why? Because they will be lonely and they are social creatures. God, loneliness is a problem for a fucking guinea pig, but not for humans? You are equating a lack of sex to social isolation. Sex isn't the need here. It isn't sex. It's inclusion and belonging and social interaction. Social interaction is a NEED. People need people even outside the context of romantic relationships. In animals males will band together and make their own little bachelor herds. They may not have a chanc…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 05:28 PM
–

I think at the core everyone wants someone good to them. Like that is technically what makes a long term relationship better. And the qualities you look for. Unless you're looking to just hook up, you're not vetting for deeper compatibility and long term viability. It tends to be more surface level. I think because the being attractive part goes without saying. Also it's kind of rude to comment on people's looks or immutable characteristics. They can't change their face. They can't change their …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 01:41 PM
1

I got burnt out. It was a lot of attention and a lot of profiles that were just not my type not what I am looking for and not my thing. So I usually delete the apps. Then go back maybe after a few months. Then get bored delete. So I would have like 50 to 100 likes on hinge alone. Most were just not attractive to me. Their profiles were lackluster. I'm cool with being single if my other option is just someone I am not attracted to or have anything in common with. Or just gross and crude and being…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 12:47 AM
1

I don't really look at the person I am dating and go he has a high SMV? Hes on on demand high ticket item. That's a weird and demoralizing take on dating. I don't really think about it. I just go for the basics. Are they successful (they have a job and at least their own car?)? Do I find them attractive? Do they take care of themselves? How is our conversations? What are their goals? Do we have chemistry? I'm not sitting here trying to deduce their SMV? That's just weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 02:09 PM
5

I think it's because MGTOW were still going on about women. For a whole movement meant to get away from women they sure fixated them a lot. Which yes. There are a lot of valid traumas and hurt. But these men never went their own way. Which I do think men should have their own decentering women movement. Because too many men are fixated on the approval of women. And find meaning and purpose outside of sex/relationships with women. I think setting better boundaries regardless of sex and understand…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 02:23 AM
1

I don't think they treat men poorly. Most just have better boundaries and watch out for bad behavior. A lot of men assume boundaries= treating a guy badly. You can be wary of strangers and not mistreat strangers. I wouldn't give a stranger free reign of my home and let them in. They are a stranger. I think putting protective measures and stuff and being wary is common sense. And men who hear these safety tips automatically assume it's man hating. For example. A woman slept with a guy too early t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 02:18 AM
5

Guys will say misandry is taking protective measures to avoid or protect yourself from bad men. It's man hating to be protective of oneself and have boundaries. It usually happens because you have bad experiences with men. So you take that hurt and understanding that there are bad men. And have first hand experiences with bad men. And protect yourself from bad men. Men who will try and pump and dump you and see you as nothing more than a walking Fleshlight. Men who will "humble" women. By knocki…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:16 PM
–

Again!? Again?! Bruh..... You can be an attractive competent confident guy. And NOT be an asshole. Like that's not mutually exclusive. It's not oh he's hot....he's an asshole by association. Like you can be a decent man with positive relationship qualities and be physically appealing. It's not a one or the other quandary. That's the good part about dating. You go out on dates. You meet people who meet your baseline level of attractiveness. And then gradually get to know the personality.. so yes …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 01:54 AM
–

It's common sense my guy. Looks are necessary but they aren't the deciding factor. Another thing with looks is it's completely subjective. It's up to the beholder and what they think the looks are. I am completely turned off by super masculine looking men.. beards...chest hair.. muscly. Not my thing at all. It does the opposite. But there are a lot of women who dig it. I like skinny nerdy twinks with pretty faces. That are more brainy/artsy. Can't grow a beard to save their life or religiously s…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 01:46 AM
–

We are attracted to kindness/respect/emotional availability. As well as men who we find physically attractive. Both are not mutually exclusive. .
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 01:23 AM
–

Legitimately there are societal issues that effect men. Men's lack of higher education, and boys having a hard time in classroom and mistakenly getting ADHD diagnosis. When instead it's approaches to teaching young boys. I am not denying that. And we should be treating men better. Dating and having romantic relationships is not a societal issue. It's a personal issue. Which yes it sucks. Struggling to date and find love sucks. But again personal issue. It's usually something you have to do to fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 07:06 PM
–

Oh honey I am shallow. I want to be attracted to the man I am going be physically affectionate towards and having sex with. But also I want to like them as a person too. So there is that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:26 PM
–

Men's issues. The ones that are legitimate get buried away and lose credibility when the biggest injustice they face is women not wanting to date or have sex with them. And what most echo chambers boil down to. "Is women don't have sex with me... I hate how women make me feel." Are father's rights important.... Yes. Is the dismissal of male sexual assault terrible yes. Is male death rate on occupations an issue yes. Is the draft an issue....yes Is the lack of access to mental health services and…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:24 PM
–

They do. There are dozens of Manlet jokes, small dick jokes, and broke jokes (for guys who want to go 50/50) This has everything to do with behavior. Most of the time a guy's behavior. Not outwardly these things. It's usually an insecure, fragile masculinity, and domineering guy. It's guys who have a chip on their shoulder about women. It's not about the traits but how they act. Can you give me a concrete example? 1. She's for the streets/recreational use only. 2. Landwhale. Look you don't have …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 09:22 PM
4

Very telling. I feel like they made a prison of their own design. That us women are chasing after these chads. And if you deviate from their self hated fantasy your not an actual woman to them. There's something wrong. You must be old haggard and weird. Because everyone wants a professional footballer. It's strange.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 06:48 PM
10

I think this is a projection. The worst I've heard is that "you don't qualify for those guys" or, more commonly, "those men are rare, what do you bring to the table. No I've heard shallow one many times. We get it a lot as women. If God forbid we want to date someone we are attracted to. Cardinal sin I know. /S. Yeah you hear that one too. But I seem to find them okay. And I wouldn't date a "what do you bring to the table guy" anyways. Just give me artsy nerdy twinks. I'm not out here trying to …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:27 PM
21

You are called shallow anyways by guys who don't meet those preferences. So I don't mind if I am seen as "shallow" I like what I like. If looks were the ONLY thing I cared about and like everything else was irrelevant about that person I can see how it is shallow. But usually it's the combination of these features and personality traits I look for. I've also been berated by men. Apparently I'm an ugly antisocial loser because normal women wouldn't like that? Okay yay more options for me then? I …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 01:31 PM
2

Can you at least acknowledge that the men who naturally find success with women didn’t need to do all the work that unsuccessful men do? There's always going to be someone who has it better? This isn't unjust. It just is. Sometimes people have to do more work to get somewhere. Its not something I feel resentful for. Glowing up/growing up is part of the human experience..it's not everyone has it better than me and you'll meet different people in different walks of life. There is nothing precludin…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 02:08 AM
1

That's honestly the most important part, is learning to be vulnerable. Vulnerability isn't weakness, it also lays the ground for connection. A lot of men, even the ones that are desperate for a LTR will be emotionally unavailable. Because vulnerability is a such a hard thing to grasp. They will get the girl and not know what to do. I don't think weak men deserve hatred. I think weak men should work on themselves. Build resilience. Grow and learn.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 12:01 AM
1

Yeah it's hard to understand something or begin to process something that you, yourself have a hard time expressing. And I think undoing that and making men vulnerable. At least in clinical setting would help so much. So they can begin processing those hurts and feelings. Which as a man would be uncharted territory and difficult..and it's hard to do in clinical setting. I think that's that's why a lot of guys give up on therapy before starting or saying it doesn't help because they aren't addres…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 08:47 PM
1

I think there should be different approaches especially for men. I think especially with men. Men aren't socialized like women where they think about feelings. There's male normative alexithymia. And social conditioning that really makes it hard to do therapy or work with someone who doesn't really understand or can process their own emotions. It's sad. And I hope in years to come we can start to learn how to do undo that conditioning and help men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 07:16 PM
0

Therapy takes time. I think a lot of people go into it thinking it will be an instant fix. A few sessions and you'll start to unpack everything. It's not like that at all. It's gradual shifts and pieces. And eventually you start to connect the dots. But it really takes time. It took about two years for things to click. This is years of bad relationships. Poor sense of self. And people pleasing tendencies. That had to be unlearned.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 06:51 PM
1

It would be the same. I think Red Pill/Male Loneliness Epidemic men will always inevitably exist. Red Pill is a trauma response. Because men with healthy interactions with women or healthy senses of self aren't putting their issues on to women. It's hurt frustrated dudes. They will adopt a whole worldview.... But won't go to therapy. I think what we could teach is better media literacy. And actual self regulation and learning and processing their feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 06:44 PM
10

I feel like more women are choosing ourselves? Like with or without a partner. And if we do pick a man he's usually someone who really is something special who adds to life. Instead of tries to take it all for himself. A lot of men (not all men) are terrible/selfish/egotistical. Hence the clinging to RP/Manosphere. Which instead of saying "hey you're kind of a selfish man child" just enables the behavior that scares the women away anyways. And in some ways I am grateful that manosphere became ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 07:14 AM
0

The apps are a hellscape honestly. I feel like I got the last chopper out of 'Nam. I met my guy on an app also got trauma from the apps. But like I will say vetting dating app guys is harder than vetting someone you meet out and about. Because dating app guys have internet anonymity on their side.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 07:01 AM
–

Personality gets you a shot with someone. Because a lot of the time we can be forgiving with looks if the personality is lit. And willing to give someone a chance? That says a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 02:51 AM
–

His personality was why I gave it shot? But ultimately it just wasn't for me. And you know that's okay. I know what I know about myself? That no I do need physical attraction as well as everything else. And it's not one or the other? It worked well I ended up dating someone I am attracted to and he's really good to me? So....
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 02:29 AM
–

No he was well loved and surrounded by people really popular and an influencer a popular cosplayer in my area like actually appears as a guest for different conventions and stuff. And had a lot of ONS/Casual experiences. So he was all in all attractive. I just wasn't physically attracted to him. And because he was a good dude I think he deserves better. He is a catch, and doesn't deserve to be tolerated but actually wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 02:19 AM
–

I did that a few times. Was a friend. But he ended up being a hardcore manosphere consumer. Wasn't my type. But grew on me. But he ended up a real turd. Kind of got cocky. When we first dated he put in a lot of effort and once he got "comfortable" it was constant criticisms of me and my value. Was super insecure. So yeah needless to say I ended things. I dated a guy I had no physical attraction to. He had almost a Hapsburg Jaw going on. Aged his face a lot. But worked out regularly. Was a really…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 12:46 AM
–

I don't know I travel the world. I just do it when I get free time? I'm going to Ireland in two weeks and did so on a whim. So traveling the world is totally feasible and realistic. I think you are allowed to have big dreams and aspirations it says a lot about who you are as a person? If you are a person who is on the go you are a person on the go. If you are a person who who's more of a homebody you would say something like that too. It's just a little blurb about something you value.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 08:43 PM
–

I think dating has a way of bringing out the worst in people. It's a very selfish "me me me" thing. Which albeit is okay. You are allowed that when it comes to comes to picking a partner that is for you. But when there is other people involved feelings are inevitably going to get hurt since it's vulnerable. You can try to navigate this as empathetic as possible and still hurt feelings. You can have the best intentions for someone and it doesn't work out and you will be a villain still. Not to me…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 02:08 PM
3

I don't get it at all. These are strangers?! Like for me when I was on the apps. The more extensive the first date is. The less serious they are. Like I'm so cool with let's grab some drinks sit and talk for a first date. Low expectations low effort. Like why do you want be stuck at dinner with someone you aren't feeling. It's rude to walk out. And if you weren't feeling each other totally fucking valid mind you. You just got a drink with someone and talked to a stranger for the evening. And if …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 08:21 PM
1

If I see a guy I like I'll talk to him? Maybe approach and make small talk and see where it progresses? If I get a match on an app I'll message? Like it takes two to tango. Honestly I don't take ghosting on apps personally though. There is no investment. We didn't meet exchange sweet nothings. Just some messages back and forth. DMs are usually a terrifying place. I have a boyfriend now so I did something right. Oh definitely if you see a one of a kind good looking dude. You shoot your shot get r…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 08:13 PM
14

Gold digging.I just think it's prostitution with some extra steps. And honestly the women that do. Already have some kind of personality disorder anyways. My friends mom is an example. Married a rich old doctor. Traveled the world on his dime got good cars. Got cute purebred dogs. A nice house. All the nice I mean NICE experiences. Didn't work didn't do much of anything. They divorced she ran away to another country. Was a selfish mother. "Princess Treatment". You meet a guy off an app and deman…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:57 PM
3

You think women who aren't influencers or selling something don't post pics to social media and value the male validation they get? One of us is definitely misinformed. Maybe it's me, idk. I'm dumb. Not really? And a lot of men call things "thirst traps" that aren't really thirst traps. Like someone posting their photos from Hawaii and they are in a swimsuit? Not really dredging the nets there. Just showing off "hey I went to Hawaii and I am doing what you do in Hawaii and chill on a beach" not …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:30 PM
2

I've been rejected plenty of times it stings? I think we are aware of the situationship-zone. Or heck guys I liked turning me down. Like it sticks with you? But at the same time I've got to grow and learn and reframe things. Ultimately you are in control of everything. Your worth isn't in the hands of some other person? And if someone likes it they like it. We deal with ghosting and shit behavior. It's not easy for anyone. But you get resilience? And self assuredness.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:07 PM
3

Maybe so. But the millions of women who live for likes and hearts on social media prove that plenty of women thrive on and crave male validation. Who?! Maybe women who use social media for marketing and influencers because it's their job. The more engagement and likes the more money they make the more influential they are. I would say male validation is equivalent to spam if you don't want it. I say this as a decently attractive woman. My Instagram is private. We do not crave it. It kinda just h…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 06:59 PM
0

As a woman attention is empty. Trust. Many men will blow smoke up your ass "you're beautiful" "you're one of a kind" "I like you" "I want to be with you". And they really just want sex. The girlfriend experience without the girlfriend responsibility. So we have to be discerning and choosy about it. It may seem like a privilege. But quantity does not equal quality. I think of it as being chased down by those kiosk people in the mall. When you are trying to mind your own business. It's not the pri…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 05:43 PM
1

Honestly same! I don't look at the masculinity of their face or whatever. It's mostly are they cute..? Okay?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 04:31 PM
0

Honestly. A nice face/ cool sense of style over height. I'm 5'8. So a guy who is 5'10 would be perfectly fine in my opinion. I have dated many less than 6ft dudes one partner being 5'5 we were together 3.5 years he was a really good dude and his height wasn't the reason we broke up. Is being tall nice? Sure. But that height means nothing if I don't find them facially attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 04:29 PM
1

Words of The Beatles. "Let it be". If someone is going to screw you over they will do it no matter how much you try to mitigate harmful people will be harmful regardless if you were a 10/10. It's not a reflection of you or your worth. If you have good intentions, and treat the person well. And THEY go and mess it up. It's totally on them and a reflection of who they are as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 12:15 AM
10

I think a lot of people are scared of getting screwed over so much so...that they make themselves so paranoid when it hasn't happened yet. It's all this preemptively planning. It makes dating sound like psychological warfare instead of building a connection with someone. What if... What if....what if.... My family has not been good with dating advice. Honestly I had to go to therapy. Once I learned I am in control of the bus. It's not left to the whims of others it was a lot of fun. You just let…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 08:39 AM
2

Solely relying on apps and not enough social skills. They aren't casting their net out wide enough and just solely relying on the apps which are going to be insanely competitive. Dating apps are kind of a sausage fest. There are more men to women. So already a smaller supply of women and more men who indiscriminately swipe on every photo. Because there is more men to women on apps women are going to be more selective and picky because there is more options because we are literally going off a pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:03 AM
1

No women I know besides what I hear in online spaces go for the 6/6/6 guy. Like this guy kinda just sounds mid to be honest. Maybe it's because I'm from California? You can find those anywhere in Los Angeles or Orange County? Its kind of your average dude? I hear most of the women talking about guys with high Emotional Intelligence. A guy who is kind. A guy who doesn't entertain a bunch of women and isn't a skirt chaser. A man who is a partner and contributes equally to the relationship. A guy c…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:32 AM
1

The heightened standards are the result of no success. You learn what you can and can't compromise as you go through it? The point of high standards is to weed out your dating pool and make it smaller so you can find more quality. It's like a filtering system so what's left is ideally really compatible people. Of course it takes time. And you have to be content being alone and usually being single is better than being in a bad relationship. I wouldn't lower my standards. And I don't think my sta…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:10 AM
-4

Yeah not getting it. So I am going to fuck someone I find as an easy option? Someone who I think is unattractive? I'm going to waste....my....time... My gas...my make up to get ready to see this person I find unappealing. The juice ain't worth the squeeze. when I could be at home? In my PJs... Fucking around and if I want the bad touch? I can rub a quick one out and crash? And no cater to someone I think is unattractive? Like no I cannot comprehend spending that much time and effort.. To try and…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 10:46 PM
-1

For arguments sake. If he has attractive matches? Why is he bothering with "average" "below average" women. Like if you aren't into a woman? You aren't into her move along. I think it says more about the guy if anything.. This is like a paradoxical fuckboy. So he's going to go out with an unattractive women on a dinner date none the less he is showing effort. And be embarrassed by her because oh those couples will point and laugh because he's with a below average woman. Because he is so hot!!! O…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 08:43 PM
10

They are unicorns. I think ultimately why we prefer relationships overall. There's more respect and consideration
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 02:00 PM
10

I just would go with not hooking up. And not putting yourself in that situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 01:53 PM
–

I go usually like 5pm though it can be busy! I usually just focus on what others aren't doing. I do go in the morning on weekends it's so empty which is nice
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 01:53 PM
–

I go in the evenings. 😅 It's morning here.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 01:48 PM
21

It's more like someone is using your body to masturbate with. So comments and suggestions aren't really taken into consideration. You aren't a consideration.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 06:01 AM
2

Whichever one he connects better with and can be more his authentic self around? It doesn't matter how swiftly he gets laid. Also it boils down to which woman he respects more too? A lot of variables are in this. It's not just who fucks him the quickest. And most men, usually don't respect a woman who sleeps with them quickly we are well aware. We've heard it ad nauseam. Most men like women I presume don't want to date someone who gives everything and anything for free? Without vetting and build…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 05:03 AM
2

Again I believe your projecting. Because a lot of guys get bored of meaningless hook ups? It has it's fun but at some point it gets lonely too. Novelty aside. Would like a to find love and a connection? And you aren't going to find that by empty hook ups and rushing girls to your bed. People get burnt out with the swipe...match....date.... ghost...sex?...date.... And eventually want to invest in someone. If the downside to dating seriously means you may have to wait for sex with that person? Whi…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 04:24 AM
2

This seems like a projection to me. My experience most guys who are considered "high value" meaning they are doing well for themselves and handsome. Tend to be more discerning about the woman they have a relationship with. It's likely NOT going to be the woman who sleeps with them early on. Trust. Also it depends on where that guy is in life. Some guys don't want a relationship and JUST want to mess around if they have options they may take it. But if they want something of more substance they t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 11:56 PM
3

You shouldn't have to communicate that? This is more of a boundary you set for yourself than on another person. YOU don't have sex until you feel like this person is safe and looking for the same things you are looking for. Personal boundaries are totally okay and should be expected in dating. If a guy texts me for a week, but doesn't communicate plans to meet up for a date. I am dropping him. It's a boundary. A guy wants to meet up at his house for a first meet up. Dropping him. I'm not going t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 06:49 PM
2

I can empathize with men on feeling rejected. It sucks. But you have two options. Either move along cut ties because it's so emotionally painful. Or accept it is what it is and you have this person in your life but that is as far as your relationship will go. One thing. One thing I could mention. Usually a "crush" is us seeing an idealized version of this person. And an idealized person will always be like "perfection". And if you can just get their romantic attention you are on that level. It's…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 03:50 PM
1

Why do you get determine what's the more valuable exchange? A man in a friend zone is offering Time, resources,energy, attention, and protection to the woman. He's basically in a relationship with out the sex. Friendship. I wouldn't treat a man or woman friend different. If I invite them out I'll cover their drinks? We are friends? Offer emotional support. Encourage them through all their endeavors. Be there. Have you had friends before? I wouldn't use them for anything? Like I wouldn't want all…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 01:42 AM
1

I agree. And I think it's fucked up to string a guy you don't like around for weeks and months? And that would be using him for his time, attention, and validation? That would be using someone. And that would be wrong. Likewise to how a woman will invest time, effort, and attention to someone who was just stringing her along for 15 minutes of sex? Where they could just express that they only want sex? And they may not GET sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 01:30 AM
1

Because time. You usually don't jump into bed with strangers. You spend time getting to know strangers. Time is the investment. Not money.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 07:12 PM
1

Time is money. Time is valuable. Time means something. Time is the investment. So a first date, where you expend a huge amount of money to not have them want a second date. Is not them "using" you. Having sex on the first date and they don't call back. Is not them "using" you. There was no significant time invested..
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 06:45 PM
0

Spending money on dates is not investment but having sex is investment? If you are getting rapport and time I would say that is an investment to have sex and building with someone. And getting to know someone first then having sex. Unless it was a casual one fling one night stand where both parties are kinda informed that this is what it is.. nothing more. Then yeah it would be silly to feel used. Because you are informed. You are basically female version of nice guy who claims that women should…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 05:30 PM
3

No you are getting a lot more from someone. And stringing someone along for an ego boost. Usually exclusivity, sex, all relationship benefits without the title. And having the idea that you are above this person who wants you so badly. They do not value this person. Friendzone is literally someone's not into you but they like you as a person and value you. They are not attracted to you. They want to invite you out places? Hang out. Be a part of your life. Without sex and romance? And if it is a …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 03:58 PM
0

The logic is flawed here. You are "choosing" to have an expensive dinner date. You could do drinks or something laid back? It's not about the price tag of the date and more about the quality of the date. How well you connect. It's about quality time together doing something you both may like? Especially in the context of a first date. If you are choosing to take them out to expensive dinners for a first date that does not entitle you to anything there is typically no investment. You are just cho…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 03:52 PM
7

I think because a lot of men don't like the idea of emotionless sex. They want the intimacy and love that comes with it gives them the validation they are wanted and desired. Versus we are doing this and doing this now. This is fun it's like a recreational activity. You don't fall hopelessly in love with someone you shared a jog route with. It's basically just negating that expectation. Hence why a lot of women get pumped and dumped because men try to enhance the emotional experience of it. "oh …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 02:17 AM
7

That's what I do? If they are a hook up and ONLY a hook up. I'm not going to be frigid but I'm not emotionally invested in them what so ever. Like friendly. But not affectionate or intimate. I'm having fun it's a hook up. We may have a few rounds. High five politely kick them out. I have no feelings from it all together. Just horny and it seemed like a fun idea. And usually more about experience with someone than the person themselves. If vetting for a relationship my expectations and feelings a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 10:02 PM
–

I've heard the side effects can be hard to manage? But that is good does min work as well for regrowth. I'm not too familiar. Like when combined with finesteride? It helps?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:13 AM
–

Finesteride? Would that help
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:01 AM
2

And there it goes. Thank you for proving my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 11:38 PM
3

This is precisely why though they claim to be morally superior... Because they don't have "access" like fuckboys. They are just exactly that fuckboys. They both are seeking external validation from women/men on their ability to get a woman's attention. They don't want a relationship. Their motives are entirely selfish and self serving. But want the validation and sex a relationship can bring. Without having to do the heavy lifting and actually being a partner. Edit: To add most of the time these…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 09:43 PM
2

It's self inflicted. A lot of men have issues. Low self esteem. Poor social skills. Insecure. Pair that with terminally online and a lot of porn consumption? It sets unrealistic expectations that a relationship will make them feel like the man they want to be. And they will finally feel good about themselves. They can have sex and that will solve all their problems. But disregarding the woman in this. She has to deal with an antisocial, insecure, self loathing, man child. That's why advice like …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 08:46 PM
12

Honestly THIS. Being comfortable being alone is the way to go. I was solo traveling and just having a ball. I did end up partnered but he added to my life instead of took away.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 05:37 PM
1

This is why a majority of women hate the apps. Not because the top guys. Just because a lot of the connection is usually sexual in nature or a validation boost (likely for men too). They will lie. And then be offended that you are offended at the fact they only wanted sex. But will befriend/get close to you say they don't actually want sex but actually wanted just sex the whole time. I'm like why are you wasting your time and my time?! Like most of it is weirdos.. you take it off the app. Not ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 04:23 PM
1

There's more rapport with someone meeting someone in person. You had a conversation that lead to asking them out. So there's already some familiarity. Online there isn't that sure you can message back and forth but there's still anonymity because they are online and not in person. Texting in my opinion builds a false sense of intimacy but it's not a good indicator does more harm than good. I've noticed the more intense of a texter the less serious they are? I’m starting to think guys asking for …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 03:18 PM
3

You of course applied your TRP logic to this. I would say you are wrong. The apps suck because you are going from stranger to lovers. Lovers is expected outcome whether thats a fling or relationship. And we as humans haven't done this whole thing. Usually we date from mutuals. We have similar social groups that overlap a friend of a friend knows someone. We met at an event. We met at school. So there is a whole prescreening process that goes down before you start to date this person. There is so…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 07:44 AM
1

I am in therapy and can afford my medications? I have ADHD. I take it up with my therapist ☺️
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 07:22 PM
1

Totally does. Have to with early dating and spotting bad behavior. It is a manipulation tactic. If I meet a stranger on an app. And they are talking about how wonderful we will be. How I deserve to be treated right. And text me good morning and good night. Even before meeting me. And planning some super elaborate 8hr date. I would say lovebomber. This is someone trying to sweeten a deal. That's too much energy too soon for a total stranger. They are building a false sense of intimacy. It's commo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 07:14 PM
0

Lovebombing is a tactic. It's not good or bad and not everyone who does it is a narcissist or abuser. They could be socially inept. They could also have really low self esteem. But it is a manipulation tactic. And you should be wary of too much affection too soon. And usually most manipulative people are trying to use you for something. Be it sex, validation, or money. It's something to be wary of.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 06:45 PM
1

I said it before and I will say it again. A lot of TRP/Manosphere bros all come from a place of a wounded ego some kind of trauma. They got rejected. They had a divorce. They had a gnarly break up. Like stuff that honestly sucks. Instead of processing it moving forward growing. They are in a place of a wounded ego. So it's easier to to blame and generalize and categorize women. Have this mentally arms length approach because it's about ego. They are a man by worth of being a man they are special…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:23 PM
1

Is that really a thing. Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:51 PM
0

Not really. I can assure you most women don't secretly loathe the man the picked to be in an LTR with. Unless A.) They settled because they didn't want to be alone and that was the only available option. But this can be disproven by most women remaining single and content being single. B). The man severely misrepresented himself early on. He brought on a vibe he could not maintain. And basically is just dead weight in the relationship. Sunk cost fallacy that it will get better because time has b…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 07:02 PM
1

Then have a GOOD sense of style. Pay attention to what's trendy or self expression. Like take pride in how you look. Water actually does. Lol it helps with keeping skin clear. It's pretty awesome. And veggies I say maintaining health because a healthy diet does a lot for your appearance. Less bloat. Clean eating acne. Keeps you trim.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 06:45 PM
0

I really love how in their scenarios. They are still not desired or unwanted and second place to imaginary men. What if she doesn't actually like you and... She like dead bedrooms you?! Because like she liked hot guys before?! She doesn't think you're hot you're safe. And like what if....she like steals all your resources?! Yeah sure bud.. all 50k of your salary. You average earner you. Yeah it's comical sit back and laugh.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 03:40 PM
3

I think in regards to mate selection/what people find attractive there is going to be multiple studies about the topic. There is different avenues. There's not a constant though because people are attracted to different things. Attraction and what you find attractive is entirely personal. Sure there are broad generalizations. Like being physically healthy but a lot of it is entirely up to the person, the location, their lived experiences, hormones. Like so many things that truly I don't think "s…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 03:15 PM
3

Yeah likely because those profiles get more hits. I like to think that you aren't being shown your actual matches on dating apps. When I was on them I didn't see many guys who were "my type". Usually burly bearded men. And bearded hipsters. Or muscly firefighters. But nothing that was really my niche. My partner was a total fluke that of all these not my type profiles. I was shown one that was my type.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 01:03 PM
3

I just looked this up. And the study claims that we tend to find people who are facially similar to us attractive? And analyzed that during speed dating as well. That people are more attracted to people who are facially similar to each other. Which I guess checks out. https://www.uq.edu.au/news/article/2023/07/uq-research-could-explain-why-some-people-look-similar-their-partner
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 12:57 PM
8

Yes and no. I don't think we are all pursuing the same group of men it tends to be varied because we all want different things. Maybe we may intersect on some things.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 04:49 AM
6

Perhaps? Or I just have a niche of something specific I am looking for and find attractive? Not necessarily more competitive. And it seemed to work for me since I did find someone to pair off with. Who I didn't lower my standards for.. and he committed to me. So the competition is not that steep.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 04:38 AM
2

Not every women we aren't a monolith. And some women like hypermasculine features some don't. I find beards really unattractive. But there are other women who love them? So really it depends on who your niche is. Low inhibition or men who are confident men who will ask out a woman unabashedly is attractive. It's not a masculine thing but a confidence thing. The guy who is confident and knows what he wants and how to approach and doesn't make it about making him feel more confident is attractive …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 02:49 AM
2

Don't read them. 50 shades is stupid it's just middle aged lady smut. However if we are going for literary characters. I would say Dream from the Sandman series. Maybe a little broody but not a billionaire secret soft side.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 01:55 AM
3

Learning more and generally not going to be rude just because I don't want to date them doesn't mean I don't want to know who they are. My lack of attraction to them doesn't diminish their worth or make the conversation I may have less interesting? Doesn't mean I won't listen. Physical attraction or my type is kinda like an umbrella. I don't have pigeon holed idea of what an attractive man is and he's not allowed to deviate from that like if he's 5'5 but has a cool sense of style and cool person…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 01:53 AM
20

I engage men. Most of the time not romantically but I wouldn't exclude or blow off someone just because they are a man. But I won't be looking at them romantically or interested. My romantic attraction is narrow. There's a certain thing I am looking for and not every guy is that? And that's fine. Different folks different strokes. We have a type and not every guy is going to be my type. And I am certainly not every guy's type? And you know what that is okay. That's the beauty of dating. I have t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 12:01 AM
3

Lmao this is exactly what I meant 🤣😂
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 08:35 PM
6

Why is it a fantasy The 666 guy. The ripped ultra Chad guy. Are fantasies of what men find attractive in other men. Men are focusing on things they think are attractive than what women actually think. getting ripped (top 1% physique) Losing fat. Sticking to a regimen. Dieting. Shows personal responsibility. Care for yourself. Not ripped but maintaining a nice physique. Shows discipline and mindfulness of what you eat. getting chiseled jawlines (top 1% face) The ultra masculine jawline I think lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 07:33 PM
3

I think the take away with looks. Is if you look like you put some care into yourself you are doing okay. Have a sense of style. Eat some vegetables. Exercise. Drink water. Put some kind of effort into your appearance between combing your hair, keeping facial tidy, hygiene. Like you're not women repellant. A lot of what pushed to guys about what women want like excessive masculine action movie hero. Super ripped shredded dudes. That weird overly chiseled jawline. Isn't the usual with women. It's…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 05:32 PM
1

In regards to 2. I don't think she's not meant for relationship and therefore no man will take her seriously ever. It's her behavior that has to change and valuing herself a little more. I think she has weak boundaries and flexible standards. She's the type to get attention from a guy she thinks is hot enough by physical standards. So he doesn't have to do much? He doesn't plan dates. He doesn't take her out it's come through to his house and she treats it like it's her calling. It's waiting by …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:51 AM
1

Honestly attention like that isn't attention at all. It's like junk mail or your spam folder. It's an annoyance if anything. These are non options looking like a bunch of options or attention but really it's just aggravating and weird. Being the object of a man's lust, is not a flex it's not really a compliment. Because lustful men (usually the ones out trying to solicit nudes and sex) are going to be lusting after a bunch of other women. It's not special it doesn't mean anything. It's just you …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 05:24 PM
1

4.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 04:32 PM
2

Probably Chris Pratt honestly.. he's more like Hollywood handsome? I dunno. Will Ramos is a skinny tattooed guy. So it's niche.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 09:52 PM
2

It definitely made a difference. And overall changed my self image and perhaps made me more confident to approach guys that I think are very attractive? No. I have been approached more sure? I wouldn't necessarily say it was more attractive guys. Just guys in general?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 07:31 PM
2

I would say 2 or 3 points easily.... I look at before and after photos. Yes/No. Guys are going to still approach. Maybe generally approached more? I was looking like Adam Sandler walking my dog and some dude put a rose and phone # on my car? I think my partner is a realistic choice for me though. We've been told randomly we are a very beautiful couple? At an event we went to. My partner came from similar circumstances we glowed up later in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 07:01 PM
1

There is a specific type of guy. This isn't all men who fall for their female friends. Because friends to lovers does happen. There can be a switch that turns and it could be a one sided thing and that can be painful. And sad for anyone. It isn't the norm and what women are talking about. This guy will be in her ear telling her she's shallow and only goes for certain types of guys. He banks on her lowing her standards enough to try and weasel in even if THEY KNOW her type and he's not it. He usu…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 04:38 PM
0

To date someone and be romantic with them there is going to be physical attraction?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 04:28 PM
-3

I don't think anyone is trying to downplay looks. It's goes without saying. And 0-1 to someone else maybe a 5 to 6 to someone. You are going to go for what YOU find attractive. So I can say.. Chris Pratt is a solid 4 for me. Will Ramos from Lorna Shore would be a solid 8-9. So it's really silly to say with my full chest that some dude is a 1 and that's why he gets no play because I have my own biases and preferences. Because it's just my opinion. So it's not really virtue signaling? Or we give s…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 04:20 PM
6

Jaw surgery with a chin job. Veneers and cosmetic work post braces too. My teeth weren't that jacked up since I went through braces later my mouth was made for when my teef we're not aligned so spaces and stuff. But if I went through surgery/years of braces. I wanted to make the results last and look as best as they could look without possible relapse and having to go through it all again. It was partly recommended per my orthodontist to correct an overbite. So medically necessary but it had cos…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 04:04 PM
-1

Absolutely not important for me kind of a turn off for me. I prefer more effeminate looking men?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 02:21 PM
–

But what if what I desire is love? What if I'm satisfied elsewhere? What else do I need to improve upon? I would say that's like spending $1000000000 for a toothbrush. Just a toothbrush. Like love is great. But honestly finding yourself. Growth. Mental health. Personal successes. These are all important too love is just a sliver in the parts and experiences of you. Love is great but it won't fix feeling bad about yourself. You gotta do that yourself. How did you do this? Therapy. And honestly so…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 04:51 AM
–

Me and my boyfriend waited 3 months from being strangers? We went on 10 dates. And by that time it was established that this is a consistent thing. So it felt safe to do so. I was plenty attracted to him I hold his hand kissed him cuddled him. We took our sweet ass time. Maybe we are weird I always made a conscious effort though. I think that's the thing that sets it apart. Is if she is making an effort, communicating, and being affectionate without being sexual But basically when it's establish…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 04:23 AM
–

It seems like it or at least blame or invalidation of my experiences, as if I did not exert any effort or somehow deserve the shit I've dealt with. Women when faced with their struggles are not gaslit in the same manner. Because I said what you didn't want to hear? So it's invalidating and an attack. You don't deserve the shit you are dealt with. But the thing is the shit exists and only you can determine how you handle said shit? Instead of wallowing in said shit you learn and move on. Again on…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 04:12 AM
–

So you have sex with them because they misrepresented themselves? I fail to follow the logic here? I get them engaging willingly but it just seems self serving if you distort your intentions with them? Like oh you are uglier than your photos smash and pass. It's kinda fucked? And still selfish.. Oh trust. I've dealt with my share of misrepresentations on the apps. I just hang out wish them farewell and say had a great time not feeling it but thank you. Filters can be a bitch. Or good angled shot…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 03:24 AM
–

Not gaslighting or an attack? You are a recovering incel so you are trying to improve. And self improvement and growth isn't instantaneous. It's small steps that begin to improve. If you are improving to get laid you're doing it wrong? Improving to fix your life and change your perspective. You are literally in control of your own life. No one else can pull the strings or make it easier. No amount of validation or it is hard. It comes down to you. It's personal accountability and holding yoursel…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 03:13 AM
–

That kinda just makes you a shitty person. I'm saying this as an attractive woman. I could lead on a poor dude I don't like for attention and validation if I wanted to? But why would I? Thats cruel to him and I don't want to waste his time. Let him down gently. Acts inappropriate call it out Not all attractive people are self serving. Please don't lump me in with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 03:01 AM
–

If a woman doesn't sleep with you on the first date she's not attracted enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:02 AM
–

Thank you I had more too. But essentially, it's making internal problems (self image, insecurities, trauma) external ones (women only like Chad, women's standards are too high). So they are going into this I'm unlikable, no one wants me. I need someone! Anyone! To prove me wrong. The women's equivalent of, "where are all the good men" "all men are cheaters" and all they date are bad dudes/cheaters. Because they just want the relationship so badly. That they will put up with shit from some jackas…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:54 AM
–

Because no matter what we say. It will feel invalidating or anything goes in one ear and out the other. You won't listen or it's excuses or "men just don't..../men are different they don't care about" "I'm ugly....I'm this ... I'm that women only want" Here's the thing and issue with most guys and struggling with dating. You go into dating with exceedingly high expectations and a pressure on yourself. It's date, sex, or girlfriend I'm so lonely this has to work my worth as a person depends on th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 12:22 AM
16

I wish men in this sub would stop acting like experts on women I honestly hear it in like a David Attenborough nature documentary when they talk about women. "The human female, is such a baffling creature. She chooses mate based upon the strongest fittest richest most attractive male. It can't be based upon his general likeability of course not so complex" They don't get the nuances of people. And create these bizarre scenarios, really making themselves more neurotic about things that aren't rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 12:31 AM
3

This isn't asked in good faith. I want an equal partnership. Teams do not have leaders you work in tandem to get things done. You may have more strengths in one thing. Your partner has strength in another thing. So you may lead in one thing, he leads in another. But it's not one leads all the time the other submits. That sounds like some kind of kink relationship. You work together to make things work? It's a cooperative effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 11:58 PM
6

I don't understand.... Maybe help me to understand. Why not sleeping with/dating a man is equal to hate? When I get into a relationship? Date? Mess with a guy? I'm not thinking of the other guys who could have this opportunity. I'm not thinking of other men as a collective. I think about that man that I am talking to? It sucks I can empathize with a guy who struggles. But can't do much more than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 05:37 PM
1

You know if MGTOW was really going your own way and dropping out of the dating game and decentering women focusing on self fulfillment. I would be like you go boss. That could put you in a better headspace and open new doors for you. But somehow someway....it centers itself around...women. Women only want this...I'm going to use women for sex!!!!!...women expect too much....and for a whole movement about going their own way it sure does center itself around women. And women seem to be the focal …
/r/ExRedPill09/01/25 02:19 PM
–

It's amusing.... Also to a lot of the stuff on here is so out of touch with dating. I like the really unhinged stuff. 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 05:39 AM
–

Partly true..... Some stuff that comes out of here is wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 05:36 AM
5

Most people don't engage in short term. It is just pointless and meaningless. Why invest time, emotions, your body in someone who is just going to be for right now. I mean do flings happen? Sure. But it's just not the usual way to go about it.
/r/ExRedPill08/01/25 08:40 PM
–

The RP men definitely do not get what the female gaze is. They project what they think women would lust over and it's simply not true. It's a power fantasy for guys to be ripped and a chest beating man that has women dropping their panties. And it's not that guy at all. Things that come to mind when I think of the female gaze would be Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. I think of the painting of Lucifer with those really expressive eyes. The female gaze isn't lusty it's beauty, it's soulful, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 04:42 AM
–

Honestly same. I find them repulsive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 04:35 PM
–

For real. I want to date someone who's into me? Oh the horror and they have shown they are into me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 02:10 PM
–

How so? In this hypothetical is the only way to show appreciation through her body and sex? Because sad.. very sad. I give my partner gifts. I rub his back to sleep. And when he hurt himself I paid extra attention to his hurt spot gave him pillows to support it. Give him lots of affection even before being sexual with one another. And show up for him in any way I can. Support him. And can you believe I made him wait... 3 months?! And he was totally okay with it, and wasn't worried about me putti…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 06:46 PM
–

I have a harsh attitude. It screams insecurity and this person is a possession. People have experiences all through life. It doesn't seem good to compare yourself to your partners past ex's. And it's a glaring red flag if your current partner compares you to their ex's. It's best to keep your past where it belongs in the past. Keep the lessons you learned from them for sure. But comparing people to the people you dated is counterproductive. You can talk about experiences with ex's. If he felt he…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 05:32 PM
–

It sounds like a means to justify retroactive jealously. Which no husband material guy of mine would have. People shift and grow and change expectations throughout dating. Perhaps younger she struggled with limerence in previous relationships. Which is also a psychologically painful and emotionally damaging state. So she worked on fixing that. So valuing stability and someone who doesn't trigger this state for her could be comforting and not really settling. I think it's just best to not dwell o…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 03:43 PM
1

I don't think feminists are out complaining en masse about a loneliness epidemic. Most feminism is teaching women to decenter men and pursue your own ambitions. Instead of centering their worth on validation from men and getting your worth not from what a man thinks of you but what you think of yourself. Because you can't change someone else's behavior. But you can remove yourself from that bad behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 06:07 AM
1

I think a lot of what plagues men is men's emotional health. The lone wolf mindset. And lack of community and connection. And expecting to stay stoic. The ego compensates for this emotional fragility. That's why men's advice is "money....status...muscle...respect...sex" all that stuff strokes the ego. But it doesn't do much for a fragile emotional state. Because a lot of men have never been able to nurture or understand that. Hence why most men's reaction is disproportionate to the issue. That f…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 05:33 PM
39

I think if we look at a lot of modern men and their issues it does go down to emotional/mental health. Men are lonely and failing to have good relationships. Failure to have good productive relationships and community is a sign of ailing mental health. Men check out let their hygiene slip check out from work from life. A woman does this depression. A man does this it's he needs to get his shit together. And that's not fair. I think there needs to be a more men's targeted approach to therapy and …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 05:01 PM
9

The male loneliness epidemic. For sure. Not in the context of romantic relationships but the fact they really don't have emotional outlets besides romantic relationships. And they lack a healthy community. Sure Red Pill and blame women for their problems spaces exist. But blaming a whole group of people for WHY you are lonely and suffering is not it. Male normative alexithymia. Some men blame autism or neurodivergence. But a lot of men just don't understand their emotions. And can communicate th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 04:44 PM
2

Yes/No. I think when you first start having sex with a new partner. They aren't going to get it right all the time. They deserve grace and just enjoy the intimacy and time with the person because you are figuring out each other's bodies and what makes them tick. Also things like feeling comfortable and the psychological aspects come into play here. And creating that safe yet also sexy space is a hard vibe to come by early on. And also to maintain. Communication and consistency
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 07:53 PM
3

No argument. Hard agree it does fall down to luck. It's like finding a good job. All the control you have is on you. How you conduct yourself,.your boundaries you set, your standards. The rest is luck and hoping that other person is picking up what you are putting down. Some do some don't. I got lucky meeting my partner. I think we were a statistical anomaly on hinge. I met someone who meets my standards. It took time and a lot of disappointment but I got there.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 03:18 AM
1

It's the experience bud. That's all it is. We are likely not going to cum from it. We are likely not going to go very far because ONS. So no tenderness or budding romance. It's just a hit and quit. It better be something memorable.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 02:58 AM
3

Usually don't if I am soloing? I just focus on the sensations how good something will feel stuff like that. Like object of desire comes into play if I am with someone? Like if they got the sexual desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 08:37 PM
4

I think a lot of people especially here have a very black/white perspective on dating. And try to take on a more logistical thing as opposed to understanding that it's an emotional thing. So logic usually doesn't apply. "If x does this it means y" and it can only mean y. There's not a lot of nuance. Because human beings are very nuanced.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 02:34 AM
2

Yeah generic advice. Basic social skills. But at the same time it may not always work. How many times have people whined about "go take a shower get a haircut". For example(I'm using myself as frame of reference) . Some dating advice will say you have to be assertive and not beat around the bush to ask someone out. That approach would be too much for me. I'm more of a slow burn person heck my first date with my now boyfriend was more like a hangout we went to a goth club. So people who tend to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 02:15 AM
3

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 10:00 PM
10

Dating advice at all should be taken with a grain of salt. Most of it is platitudes/generic things. Honestly. Dating is widely an individual experience what's good for you may not be everyone else's approach. It's completely up to person, the scenario, and the people you pursue. So there will be no universal approach to dating or mystical cheat code that will unlock your potential. Because again it's an individual experience. And trying to compare yourself to others and what they do only makes y…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 08:40 PM
0

It's literally that though! Most women do not want to hook up. Like it's are you feeling horny? And are you even open to it. If not, not going to happen no matter how hot the guy is. It's literally even being open to the idea of hooking up most women aren't down. Sometimes they are. Hooking up/Casual Sex are not the default they are rare. It's not a reliable thing. Again! Why most of the time relationships are better, reliable sex with someone who knows your body you know theirs. There's mutual …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 05:08 AM
3

I'm going to blow your mind with this one bud. What if?! The guy she chooses is nice.....and good looking? It exists it is real and it totally does happen. Men are 100% capable of being good looking and NICE.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 02:18 AM
4

You're boiling this down to my first point. An incredibly one dimensional view. Looks and sex. Most women aren't down for casual and if they are it's about the experience mostly. And it's entirely situational? An average dude from the UK may have a chance to hook up in the US because the novelty? The experience of it. A guy making good conversation and the reservations pass? It isn't necessarily hot guys it's guys at the right place at the right time and situations that could lead to that. (Fres…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 02:05 AM
8

Don't forget, we're also going to cheat on them with Chad behind their back and pass off his baby as their own. We'd all do it if we could - it's basic biology! /s Oh of course! We need chads superior genetics! And the child needs the provisions/s The way some of these men describe the women they're pursuing as the most superficial, braindead, hedonistic, hypocritical, delusional, self-serving, faithless, status-chasing, braindead, manipulative succubi makes me suspect that they need to heed the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:35 AM
6

Average dudes hook up.... But on average most women aren't interested in casual sex and flings. But I assure you look at FetLife plenty of average looking dudes get laid. Normal dudes get laid? Sex happens maybe not all the time and that's kinda the thing with casual sex? I think it's entirely situational.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 12:32 AM
13

I think it's because a majority of BP/RP men are deeply insecure and socially inept. Due to their lack of success so their worldview on dating and relationships is this very one dimensional thing (sex, money, looks). And I think fundamentally it's less to do with "pill" thinking and more to do with their own negative preconceptions about relationships and their own antisocial behavior. So no matter what a woman does in these men's minds it's wrong to them. Because it doesn't benefit them in any …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 10:40 PM
35

Do you just LIKE someone? That's really the simple answer. There doesn't have to be this overarching purpose to get married for provisions to not be lonely to get sex. If you meet someone. You like this person out off all people in the world that people. I choose you to be my person. Like really that is the simple answer. You get married out of love and want to make your love permanent. Your love can create new life. Your love can be recognized as legally binding so if something happens to you/y…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 02:17 AM
1

That's not entitlement love. That's exploitation. If you are willingly taking from someone who's made it full well they are invested in you/their intentions with you are a relationship leave them alone if it's not for you. Who's feelings and regards to you are known. That's a little more than a night out and a date. That's usually months and consistency. It's different than. Buying someone dinner and expecting sex for a numerous amounts of reasons. Buying someone dinner and expecting sex on a fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 09:12 PM
1

Yes. Like that Kellin Quinn look. It's so freaking adorable. Or Vic Fuentes from Pierce the Veil. I dig that look a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 05:12 PM
0

I think a lot of women don't have sex on the first date to avoid that scenario I described. It's a double bind. Most of the time a guy who wants to sleep with someone early is just looking for sex. But also some guys gauge immediate sexual interest as how much a woman is interested. I'm on team wait to have sex if vetting for a relationship. Just because it can become really exploitative real fast. If a guy is getting sex, getting attention,and realizes he can do this without commitment? It's do…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 05:09 PM
2

I'll bite at the nice girl. Entitlement to relationship part. I think if you are honest about intentions. "Like hey I just want to fuck you. I don't see this going anywhere. Please feel free to see other people don't waste time on me. This will be a more for fun thing. It can be something fun while we are both single" I think it would give the woman agency. Obviously it's not going to work out most of the time because not a lot of women are down for casual sex. And if she gets mad with all cards…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 04:48 PM
–

I think it's natural. But when your desire comes at the harm or detriment of someone else. It's wrong. Where the human part of the other person takes a back seat. There is no empathy there is no tenderness. I think the new Nosferatu movie really encompasses the experience of being at the receiving end of lust. Where there is no affection, it's just to consume the other person. It's just someone who wishes to take and use. Without the consideration of the other person. Just to take from them. For…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 03:57 AM
–

Like a not morbidly obese physique. I like them skinny or lean. But not overly bulked it does nothing. Honestly just depends on the woman? And style plays a whole thing into this. I'm more alternative so I like more alternative men? I do think the muscles are more for men
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:54 PM
–

I don't find that body type or face attractive at all as well. I like more Twink looking dudes this guy is a bit too manly for me. Not baiting not weird it's just what I like. Haha so it would be a swipe left and no interest from me whatsoever. That's the bizarre thing there is no universal attractive to someone guy because we all have types.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:24 PM
1

I think you're the common denominator here. But you refuse to listen, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. It's just all lumped with man hating or something? Your desperation and ego are the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 02:20 AM
2

Soft jaws. Big eyes. Edit: Also love handles or a wider hips for a guy. My partner has them and has these little loafs on his hips. And I love them when he is the little spoon I just hold on to them and it's a perfect spot for my hand to rest on. And cuddle him. I don't know they are just so charming.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 12:28 AM
2

Face first. What the heck. I am a sucker for a pretty face
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 08:41 PM
0

Actually yielded better results for me personally? Assholes kind of saw themselves out. Because they couldn't maintain the facade of a decent guy. (True story). I can decide more about their personality because I am getting to know them and gauge their intentions.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 08:10 PM
4

I think wanting affection and companionship is a very normal thing. And most men who are honest and help do things to nurture that will get good results. I think a lot of men though use sex and attention from women as a litmus test for their own validation. And a lot of men are stuck in that mentality of attention from women means I am good. Thus the egocentric takes on dating and relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 07:24 PM
1

I find vetting and taking my time weeds out dudes who may have those negative traits. They aren't patient if they have options/and are trying to use me for this that or the other. That they aren't going to stick around or court me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 07:06 PM
6

I didn't want to screw my boyfriend the first night. I thought he was very hot and I didn't mind him in my personal bubble. We kissed the first date and I wanted to see him again. But definitely took time to establish wanting to be sexual with him. As he gained rapport and familiarity with me. Now definitely have a healthy sex life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 06:25 PM
1

I find it funny. The same men that will berate a woman who had a bad experience with a guy. "Should have vet better". "You need to pick better". And will shout blue in the face about how women end up with deadbeats because they gave it up to quick to a guy. How no man is going to take a woman who fucks immediately serious because she clearly doesn't respect herself... Is the same goons going on about how unfair it is to make a guy wait. That she doesn't really like them if she's not jumping into…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 05:47 PM
16

I'm starting to notice a trend here.... That women who reject him are all fat and frumpy either he has a type. Or..... When women reject him they are deemed as fat and frumpy
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 07:32 AM
–

I don't think your example of manipulation to try and sweeten your partner into having sex is manipulative at all. You turn the charm up and try to see if you can sweeten the deal that's not terrible. That's not manipulation. That's maybe I just have to try a little harder and she may be down for it. And typically if you know how to push your partners buttons a little bit can get them in the mood. That's not manipulation or testing their consent. It's like if I didn't want food, but then someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 03:01 AM
2

Probably a soft rejection. The way you talk about her "fucked by me" you think sex is something done to women. She got hers and decided you weren't it. Being pumped and dumped sucks and your ego is hurt because you got pumped and dumped. And you can simultaneously look for a relationship and have sex early on. Like it's not mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 02:42 AM
-3

Everything. A guy you can relax around, not worrying about whether he is coming or going. And makes you feel safe seen and secure. Makes me feel less on guard so I can relax and just enjoy it with them. Means we can be more comfortable being sexual with them and actually enjoy it and communicate what feels good. And in turn have a lot more sex enjoyable pleasurable and plentiful sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 02:32 AM
7

My experience all anecdotal. Most of the time the behavior is not on display? Everyone in the beginning is putting their best behavior on display. So you won't get that. Nothing is nicer than a man who wants something from you. Whether it's sex or sometimes just your attention. I say time is the best filter so the unserious guys, will fall off fast. They usually start hot and heavy coming in swinging and eventually fall off. So they will text super consistently. Maybe try planning all day dates …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 12:45 AM
–

No I don't agree with it at all. Average people hook up, date and get into relationships. Conventionally attractive people can be average as well. Most of us aren't influencer, model, celebrities or millionaires just every day people doing every day things. Just normal people doing normal things. Dating is mostly about luck not some kind of art of war strategy game. I think a lot of the struggle is with below average men. And it's usually below average guys who buy into the grift.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 12:17 AM
–

This is hilarious 😂 you can't even contain your condescending attitude towards us. You actually think men suddenly disregard women in their 30s? In your little revenge fantasy sure. Most men don't care? Outside of Reddit. But most 30+ year old men want 30+ year old women And good men don't look at women like things... And typically have emotional intelligence/ emotional maturity to see their partner as a human.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 10:49 PM
23

It's always been a thing? I don't think women are deliberately looking for an asshole to date. Usually it's easy to hide bad behavior with the advent of consistent texting and dating apps. That's why I am big on trying to meet irl asap. And if they prolong it are indecisive about dating plans etc etc. I don't go for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 08:39 PM
2

Unconditional love in romantic relationships isn't a thing. Romance is the most conditional type of love and that's okay. Your partner doesn't appreciate you. You have the freedom to leave. Your partner cheated on you. You can leave. Your partner doesn't respect you or the relationship. You can go. Your partner doesn't pull their weight in the relationship and you have to compromise with yourself at this point to keep the peace.... Go. It's a good thing because it opens you up to finding someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:57 PM
0

Most dates I've been on they offered to pay? I go in expecting 50/50 usually especially for a first date? Usually they offer to cover.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:50 PM
-1

Dudes should learn to socialize. Mingle talk to people go outside join groups? Hang out with friends go out on a night out with friends. Find a hobby group. Anime conventions. Gaming conventions. There is a niche for you. Women, HELL, people aren't going to give you dating advice that's tailored to you. They aren't you, you have your own best interest in mind. Because most of the time especially on social media it's catch all terms. Are there things that are applicable? Sure? A broken clock is r…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 05:36 PM
1

I don't think he necessarily a dead bedroom. If there is mutual affection when there isn't sexy times I'd be happy and that love it there? Relationships are about compromise and figuring out what works and doesn't work with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 04:50 AM
1

if your partner goes out and fucks someone else, would you accept it? This is where a foundation of trust and loyalty comes in. I wouldn't date someone who couldn't control themselves or valued the act of sex over the person they are having sex with. I think a relationship should be built on a mutual respect and care for your person. What if your libido had dropped to near zero, you still wouldn't like the fact that they did that even if you don't want to fuck. I have a higher libido than my par…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 01:57 AM
-1

It's such a tiny fraction of a relationship. It's nice but I value the things I do with my partner. Sex is just one of those things. Its part of the whole picture. It's just something you do? I see it more like 10%. You should want to and you should enjoy it with them. I think when the fundamental things slip, effort, becoming complacent sex is usually the first thing to slip. The perk of the person is kind of gone. Breeching trust. People don't want to have sex. Losing the affection or taking t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 11:18 PM
0

Sex isn't the end all beat all. I think of it like a perk, you get basically a bunch of awesome things sex is just the perk of it all. It would be like being excited about an all inclusive vacation that covers your flight, hotel, transportation, and activities. But focusing mostly on how awesome the hotel's free breakfast is? And your all expense paid vacation was so awesome because your free breakfast everyday. Not the sights you got to see, not how luxurious your room is, not your airfare bein…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 09:54 PM
-1

You can be a good person and have short term fun without being a manipulative dick about it. Just it is what it is. If you have to emotionally manipulate someone into having sex with you you're doing it wrong. You can just enjoy a moment with someone without stringing them along. Breadcrumbing and generally being a pig about it. You're not going to get far or hurt your feelings when they don't have sex with you, AND think you are a pig and move on to someone else disregarding you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 06:51 PM
–

I do. It's neat to immerse yourself in a different culture and you befriend locals that way too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 06:46 PM
–

Well I travel internationally? So learning about the world and other countries their culture, their issues, and the way of life while over there is kinda cool. So a partner who is down for that so when we go abroad we know what we are getting into. I don't want to be an ignorant stupid tourist stereotype. And be mindful of the people and culture around me. I try to treat it better than my own home because I am a guest and want to represent my country better?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 06:40 PM
–

It shows an interest and curiosity in the world around them. That's super desirable?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 06:34 PM
11

Yeah probably your more traditional women do. Because there is this weird stigma around actually liking sex and wanting sex just for sex sake. The it has this weird sex is for the man mindset and it's not so much for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 05:26 PM
19

Women don't "give sex". It's not like a reward system. You were a good boy have one sex now. Like it doesn't work like that. We aren't dangling sex like some carrot or motivator. And if someone is that's having sex for all the wrong reasons. We have sex. We make a conscious decision to have sex. Because this person is hot. Or the mood is right. We are horny what have you. We like this person a lot and we want to do this. Sex is just that sex. It could be with someone you love a lot and you want …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 02:24 PM
2

I don't know about children because they are dependents. There's a certain level of attentiveness you have to give to them. But I do think it's normalized and celebrated that women basically sacrifice themselves and their aspirations for husbands and children. That once you can become a wife and mother your hopes and dreams should die that day your identity as yourself goes away you're mom. And I don't think that should be the case. You should be able to pursue your hobbies and interests and tre…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 08:18 PM
8

Funny. I was in Vancouver Canada. I'm an American woman. And I didn't notice much of a difference in myself and the Canadians around me. There were some with make up on a morning jog. People just looked like people?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 07:45 PM
5

It's not an expectation but a perk if that makes sense. I go into a first date full well expecting to cover my own things. I usually want a first date to be grabbing a drink and just conversing with this person. Something low effort because if the vibe isn't there it would be rude to leave in the middle of dinner. Dinner is too formal and sets too high of an expectation. Drinks are fun inexpensive and fairly casual while you are gathering information about this person. And I can cover my two dri…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 05:19 PM
-1

I got told I am a nobody and undesirable no life because I said I don't really like super masculine men and prefer Twink pretty boys. And my opinion on attraction doesn't matter because I'm not the one they would want anyways. I'm an attractive woman in my 30s. But go off. Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 09:06 PM
–

It's kinda the usual here because the cost of living is so great. Most adult children are helping to support their parents because of the high costs of rent/living. So it's not out of the ordinary to expect that. However if they have no job, no ambition, they are randomly unemployed or have a get rich quick scheme. Stay home and play video games all day. Parents still take care of him kind of deal absolute no go.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 05:07 AM
2

All you girl all you! Too manly for me 🥲..... But it's sweet that he saves puppies.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 02:25 AM
1

They really do though. Someone posted a Ukrainian guy they were talking about being hot in the Looks thread. I checked it out thinking oooh what do we have here I want to see a hot guy who takes care of puppies. And no, he's a manly bearded dude.. not really what I think is hot. But score for taking care of puppies? Not my type.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 02:24 AM
5

Someone I am attracted to. Someone who adds to my life, instead of taking away. Someone who is interesting and we can yap on about our interests. Doing nothing with them is doing something. Someone independent, but not secretive. Competent and doesn't need me to mother them. Decent in bed. Pretty much what I got with my partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 01:14 AM
–

Ohhh you kicked the hornet's nest with this one. This is going to be good. You said no lies.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 02:28 PM
6

You said it better than I ever could mam! This is exactly it! Like there has to be the spark I can see an objectively good looking guy walk by and be like there is a good looking guy. I don't want to have sex with him just by looking at him. Just wow he's pretty and go along with what I am doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 06:43 PM
3

I think it depends on the woman mostly. One woman's attractive is another woman's below average. And so on. Like to be below average it's usually because hygiene, style, and being overweight. Like I may find a guy unattractive? Like there was a 6'1 fit tattooed guy who rode a motorcycle had a mustache that had it bad for me. I wasn't attracted to him at all. Not my type. He is a cool dude and when I saw him months later he had girls coming up to him at every event I saw him at. So it's not a him…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 05:30 PM
2

A few things. We have preferences and types? And typically look for guys who are in that preference and type box. I like guys with no facial hair who shave regularly. Some women like guys with stubble a slight beard. Some like moustaches. Some women like more masculine looking dudes. Other women may like fluffy haired nerds. Some like the metalhead guys with the beards and long hair. Some may want a clean cut guy suit guy. Like it varies around people. So typically women are looking in that part…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 02:09 PM
0

You know it's never about quality if it means anything. Unless they say something outright gross? About my body or something "nice tits 🤫" "what does that mouth do" that would be low quality in my opinion and an automatic no. Or if they put an anime pfp or meme photo. It's like wanting a certain brand. Are all other brands inferior because you prefer and are looking to only buy that brand? No. You just know what you want and what works for you so you are looking for that brand in particular. I f…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 08:45 PM
0

100s of matches. No way. Like I may get like 50+ likes and not be interested in any of them. But not a lot of matches due to being very picky. I did meet my partner on an app. I liked his profile he matched with me. And yeah it worked out. But women do not get 100s.of matches.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 05:34 PM
0

I'll bite. It's usually personality. An antisocial, self loathing, desperate, and resentful man is just not it. Most "incels" aren't bad looking. Like Elliot Rodger wasn't a bad looking dude he came from money he wasn't necessarily ugly and he was working on his education. His antisocial personality and resentment made him a weirdo to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 05:37 PM
4

The go above and beyond being nice happens because this is how men are taught just soo you know. This happens especially when a guy doesn't have dating experience. He is thinking damn I want her to think I am good and all that. The problem here is that the guy should have looked really early for signs of attractions (this is physical let's be honest here), being flirty and check the response, and of course gave up here if he doesn't receive any good signs. I think a lot of men struggle with a la…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 10:40 PM
8

We want actual nice guys. Like my boyfriend is nice he's pleasant to be around. He is a considerate guy. His niceness wasn't performative and was consistent. I wouldn't date him if he was an asshole. The nice we are talking about is the performative nice. Like they are putting on an act to show how nice they are. It's see I'm a good guy women like good guys. And you'd be surprised the switch up in guys like that. There is some covert contract that their niceness comes with terms and conditions. …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 04:58 PM
2

I dress as a means to express myself. I am on the more gothy side of things so I like a lot of black and striking make up and a dark kind of aesthetic. When I go out to events and goth nights I turn it up a little more. If it's more social normal things I call it Diet Goth lol where it's not so intense but it's still goth it's something I just adooted because I liked how I felt. I like to feel pretty and kind of say this is who I am when out in the world. I like to think of my looks as like a Ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 04:31 PM
1

I can't speak for others haha... We aren't a monolith we all have different wants and are seeking different things and our own variant of what a decent guy is. But I can say with my chest that the "red pilled alpha bros" are absolutely cringe nobody wants that. It's mostly going to be spent coddling their insecure egos. And why they want to "humble" "neg" and try to hurt a woman's self esteem. Because a woman who feels she has to prove her worth to someone is a lot more controllable.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 03:51 AM
1

I don't think so. I think a lot of women are content being single until they meet someone who meets their standards. If they have completely unrealistic standards, like no man is going to ever reach them it's likely someone with avoidant attachment. And they are self sabotaging and really just trying to avoid dating and people at the moment. Likely fresh break up, in their self improvement arc. Usually it's temporary and they will walk it back once they done some healing or meet someone who tick…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 03:32 PM
9

No we just don't want to date neurotic, childish, insecure assholes who have some vendetta against women who rejected them because they are corny dweebs taking up Internet pickup artistry? I'll take an emotionally stable man who understands the complicated nuances of dating and navigating relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 01:03 AM
16

Not gaslighting. I can't speak for every single woman. But most women like men they are attracted to. And no amount of doing things for someone who isn't attracted to you is going to make them attracted to you. This isn't gaslighting.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 08:47 PM
22

Please do. That would make it really easy to filter out manosphere bros.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 08:43 PM
16

I'm plenty attracted to my boyfriend. And he's not exactly an alpha male.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 08:42 PM
-2

It doesn't exist in the same way misogyny exists. The worst thing a woman can say can hurt a man's feelings. At the absolute worst of misandry you get women just avoiding me I don't agree with being nasty to men I don't agree with harming men. But misogyny directly effects women, whether it be policies, the whole women are worth less than men, and in some cases death. So misogyny is more of a problem than misandry. Yeah sugar babies are likely going to have standards too. It's not just pay to pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 06:56 PM
29

Depends on what. If it's about men's mental health and issues in regards to courts favoring men. That could be a conversation worth having. If its hypergamy, 80/20, modern women are terrible, women have to submit, alpha male, body count... "Women only want" and any variation of that. Alpha fucks... Sluts.... OF girls. And what have you. I'm out. There's no reasoning with them. It's a chronically online self pitying take. And the conversation will go nowhere real fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 05:23 PM
8

Oh I had no idea that makes more sense. Those women are being paid to enjoy your company, it's not a loving relationship because it's already decided that it's transactional. It's a play stupid games and win stupid prizes scenario. I also hear his other experience he refers back to is some unattractive women on dating apps. His words were they were unattractive but matched with him? And they said he doesn't meet their standards? Then why even engage with them if you yourself said they were botto…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 05:21 AM
9

I agree that abusers and abusive behavior whether man or woman. Should be held accountable. And I do find it a shame that male victims of abuse do not have a voice it should not be like that and there should be consequences. I don't think cheering on harming someone and that sort of behavior is called out.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 02:13 AM
15

I'm a woman in the US. And painting all US women with a broad brush is an ignorant take. There is 50 states. A woman in California is going to be different than a woman in Nebraska. A woman in Oregon will be different than a woman in Florida. A woman from Texas may be different than a woman from New York. Each state has different culture and personality. It's just your experience with women. And everyone throws around "accountability". How we should take accountability. What is it women have to …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 01:07 AM
-3

This is just another variant of unattractive guy with nothing going for him is good. That guy you find attractive is bad,! When the bar is referred to it's more in line with relationships. Meaning a man putting effort into his relationship. An issue is a lot of guys out most effort into courting that once they are comfortable. The effort significantly drops. So a guy is praised for doing things that are kind of normal in giving effort for a long term relationship. That's where the bar is on the …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 05:30 PM
–

So because women have agency and are performing well with that agency. Basically out earning, getting a proper education, and now CHOOSING partners they want to be with. Men are suddenly taking up sexism and misogyny to express that frustration? Because they aren't meeting them where they are so they want to drag them down. That is kind of sad honestly. It says more about why a lot of men are getting left behind.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 02:12 PM
1

It's almost like attraction to people is a really silly thing and completely illogical because it's because of feelings and less out of logic
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 05:52 AM
–

Nope.. I'm just saying it's not all dismal people are stuck in their way. Most people date and mingle. It's not this rigid inflexible thing. With age we are close to the same age I'm older by 3 years. But I do not want to date someone significantly older? I don't see the appeal in dating a man significantly older than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 12:44 AM
–

I literally described what my boyfriend did? Who also is of a different race than me.. but yes assumptions keep them coming.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 06:48 PM
–

Well personality is a HUGE part of it. Barring like actual deformities or being super morbidly obese which I can imagine is really tough for people to get dates. But your average guy isn't ugly or this or that. So looks isn't a factor in the conversation about men's behavior being below the bar. No one wants to be with a self loathing/negative scrooge bantering on about how it's his canthal tilt or lack of 45° jawline. Looks matter but it's way more up to the beholder so it's pointless to hyperf…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 06:46 PM
2

Most of the time it's because you worked and can afford to retire? You did your time and are getting a steady income. But most people in my age range are not retired and likely not able to retire early?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 11:30 PM
2

Where the heck did you jump to that conclusion. I mean responsibly hold a job. Not get fired for misconduct. Not quit on a whim because it's so stressful and not have something lined up. Be able to think about this thing pragmatically. if they can retire why would I not allow that. If they have vacation time take it. Holding a job is hardly an unreasonable ask.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 09:47 PM
1

Because the looks thing is not part of the conversation. It goes without saying if you are dating/ attempting to date someone. You are physically attracted to them in some capacity.. Maybe there is a few low bars like has a sense of style. But that's not bar on the floor it is nice to see a guy dress up and have something unique about him. And I don't disagree that there are a lot of stinker women too. Like women who don't engage in conversation. Women who act rude. Women who are shallow and mat…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 07:54 PM
1

Yeah? They don't quit their job when they have nothing lined up because they can find another one they just can't be working right now. Or this job is too stressful so they have to quit. Without lining something up or moving on to something better. Yeah the average length people stay at jobs is lower. But being gainfully employed and making the best decisions for them and are responsible is not a big ask.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 07:46 PM
3

Not that important. Just that they have a career? And can hold their job? That matters more.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 01:32 AM
0

You would think? Right. I am not asking for a dinner date because if the vibe isn't there I don't want them to be stuck at dinner with me. It's awkward for the both of us and it's too formal too high of expectations. But I don't know why. I had a guy utterly offended that I said I didn't want to meet at his house. We have our share of duds in dating as well. But I think a first meeting in a neutral space for a first date is perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 09:45 PM
1

It is work. Like being consistent with caring about your appearance is a constant thing. It's not just turn it on and off for a few months it's a daily always thing and being consistent and mindful of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 09:09 PM
-1

Wtf no. I'll do that myself. Just coffee date, its grab drinks somewhere public and have a decent conversation and see if there is any chemistry at all. Hell I'll buy my own drinks it's just making the time and plan to meet me in a public space.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 08:24 PM
0

A lot of guys do!! It's the bare minimum of functioning. Like these are standard features in someone that's why we say the bar is in hell because you will meet guys who DO NOT. It's not that our standards are that low it's just surprising how many people in the dating space aren't. I think a lot of people are frustrated with the dating world. It's frustrating. I am glad I got out. I met someone who met my apparent herculean task of standards. Basically I'm attracted to him, we have similar inter…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:21 PM
1

The looks threshold isn't that crazy. We are all varied women have types and things they like. We are all varied. So everyone's threshold is going to look different because we are looking for different things? I like pretty boys, almost effeminate men. So a ripped gym bro with the 6 pack won't do much for me. But the skinny androgynous all indie sleaze looking ass dude with medium length messy hair and a pretty face will get my attention for sure. It has nothing to do with a guys value. It's jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 06:56 PM
-1

The thing is these guys don't get picked. Basically it's more like catch and release. They may get a match on a dating app? You talk back and forth and then it's like "can I see your boobs". Or something crass and then unmatched. You start talking and they won't plan a date just endlessly text back and forth. Or plan a low effort chill hang out versus actually scheduling a date. Then there is like relationship bar, they don't cheat. They want commitment. These are incredibly low bars. But that's…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 06:43 PM
1

I think when it comes to looks if you aren't getting the results you want man or woman you should try to glow up. Looks are fixable. I say this as someone who did glow up. Cosmetic work, gym, braces and skin care. Looks are fixable and you can change your style, your hair, your body weight. Guys who aren't as tall can slay if they have a nice face. The behavior part is where men fumble. I think it's because they put so much effort into getting the woman. That they don't really know how to keep a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 05:47 PM
2

Money? What if you make your own and you genuinely just appreciate your partner's company? Money is totally irrelevant in this conversation.
/r/ExRedPill07/12/24 04:17 PM
1

It has to do more with behavior than with looks. Women have their looks standard you aren't datable material unless you meet that to that particular woman. If you meet that bar then you go from there. If a guy plans a date and takes initiative to go on said date. That would be a bare minimum. Praised for that behavior. Because a lot of guys will suggest going to their house for a date. A lot of guys suggest a walk and just chill. Meeting in a car. So planning a date and confirming and setting up…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 04:15 PM
2

I think it's less insidious. I really think it's a lack of self awareness and human nature to blame something else instead of the problem lying within. A lot of people man woman and whatever else.. don't want to think they may be the problem. The manosphere is "women are the problem they expect too much from men we have biological imperative to not be this that or the other". So they don't have to sit and think what am I doing wrong as a person and instead just go wow yeah women suck. So it's ea…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:22 PM
2

A few things. They are really passive basically not making a move not doing anything standing there with their hands in their pockets. Over strategizing every interaction they have with a potential date going for outcome not so much going for the person. Not wanting to be the bad guy but also being incredibly neutral guy. Low self worth/Low self esteem. They see women they want to date but don't think they are in the same "league". Either become a doormat to that woman. Insecure around women bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 02:10 PM
2

I think instead of egging women on to date men they have no interest in. Because "Hey they are probably lonely". "There's a male loneliness epidemic ladies you should really be dating these guys". Instead of all that. There should be a push for community with men. Fraternities. Communities. And outreach that focuses on men bonding. Some kind of social group. Women have mastered this even without partners we have a community for ourselves. I think unfortunately that's why incel/red pill communiti…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 01:54 PM
0

Nope. To me a guy trying to flaunt wealth to get my attention doesn't work. I'm a dummy I sadly go for love, and mutual attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 03:59 AM
1

I think it's because a lack of understanding really that makes them shallow not so much for just being shallow. Because it's the most inexperienced that talk the loudest about things and will pick up on the stupid online dating advice because they aren't successful. So if you don't know much about something and you are only hearing basic shallow advice. You are going to have a shallow understanding of a relationship. If guys/gals who are chronically online and get their information about the opp…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 02:20 AM
3

And so will women. But apparently we are "lying" "don't actually want that" and various other things.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 09:05 PM
2

And men don't really know what women want. It's a shocker really.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 08:45 PM
1

You put way too much thought into it. "Nice guys" aren't successful with women the same way "nice girls" aren't successful with men. Someone who is too eager to please, always available, desperate for some result, and people pleasing is seen as undesirable. People pleasing is a form of manipulation it's trying to sway someone's opinion of you by setting aside your own wants, needs, and boundaries to make someone like you. It's unattractive. People like others who value themselves and are forth c…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 05:25 PM
2

That's really sad that you feel that way. I can see why you are distrusting of women. Everything my partner provides for me is free. It doesn't cost a thing. His consideration. His care and mindfulness of me. Like these are things I value more than him covering a tab.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 05:21 PM
1

I think it's sadder that men feel they need to buy a woman's love that they lead with I have money of course vapid gold digger types will come out of the woodwork.. and especially if you don't probe the depths of a relationship and have a shallow idea of what a relationship is. I think when you are in the mindset of relationships are transactional this is the energy you get. Of course you will attract someone who is pay to play. Instead of working on things like being likable, being relatable, l…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 02:04 PM
3

I think cosmetics are more like self expression. A lot of the time make up is like that too. Make up cannot change bone structure it enhances your natural features. But a lot of the time it's like a nice outfit or something. It's just how we dress up sometimes lashes enhance a look. I'm a goth so I love my make up and lashes and drama. I don't think it has anything to do with self esteem and acceptance because when it's all off I'm still me. When I wash my make up off I'm still me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 12:09 AM
2

Better emotional support for men. Male normative alexithymia is a thing and men lack proper emotional skills and are suffering as a result. So more therapists trained in support of men and than can help men. Also maybe support groups and things to help men build community with one another to address the loneliness issue. I also think self esteem movements for men. That helped women flourish and I think men should have something like that too. Age restrict and content lock a lot of manosphere thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 03:49 PM
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