TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

wakablahh Archive

View 0 posts and 63 comments by wakablahh on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

That’s a good rule, I like it. What helped for me is I moved near the ocean, hence the drastic change in hobbies. The skateboarding was so I don’t have to pay for beach parking ever again, but it’s become much more than that… as all hobbies end up doing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 04:10 AM
6

Paddleboarding, skateboarding, skimboarding I also got into more fashion and dressing up well
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 03:52 AM
2

Separation also is to see if they can survive without you financially, etc. In separation, they typically do feel a wave of peace having been removed from their source of stress and anxiety. Unfortunately that can be easily misplaced not as the relationship healing, but that they’re better off without you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 08:21 PM
18

Don’t leave the house. It sends a worse message about you to the kids, too. Fight to be around your kids , and as another said, she needs to do her part in keeping the peace.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 05:50 PM
2

FIL called me to see what’s happening given we had moved across the country, and I gave him the bare details. “I wish it wasn’t so” etc. I was patient on the call, but did not mention things like her affair, or anything bad about his daughter. After some time, the truth of his daughter got back around to the family anyways, even though I only told a select few about it. I took the high way out, and believe that’s the best way to keep your honor & integrity. I didn’t have kids like you tho to com…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 10:10 PM
2

Step 1, depending on the circumstances, fix your marriage & end separation. If you’ve already decided divorce, then see all the other comments here. A lot of people quit marriages too easily, imo.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 11:50 AM
14

This was very well written and explain things my ex and I talked about quite a few times —— her current mood or thoughts would negate the past, and the present is how she had “always felt” or “always thought.”
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 12:34 PM
1

I’d walk away if someone said they are not over the person. Idc how fancy the rest of the explanation is, it doesn’t matter.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 03:34 AM
4

Tell her, you’re open to talking things through and getting her perspectives but only after your divorce finalizes, out of respect for your current marriage
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 01:41 AM
1

$0, Florida. I really compromised with my ex (no kids) everything, and I helped out a bit too furnishing her new place, but I really wanted to avoid alimony, etc. My friends saw it as giving her a “princess exit” , but I saw it as moving on, no strings attached.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 03:38 AM
1

I’m the opposite. If you’re dating intentionally to get married because you know what you want, or from a Christian background where a expectations are a little more direct, I’d think you should say “single, but I was married” within the first two dates.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 01:44 PM
2

I paid similar for the diamond, and to me it’s a sunk cost. I told her throw it in the ocean , resell it, trash it, whatever , but it was a gift to you. I didn’t want it on my conscious dealing with the ring, since I was the faithful & committed one in the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 03:03 PM
1

I didn’t update the status on my Facebook profile till a bit after my divorce even finalized. Why? I just didn’t wanna deal with everyone since my divorce was largely private outside family and close friends. He could be a cheater, or he could just be doing what I did.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 03:41 PM
1

It’s so disrespectful of her to do that, particularly while still living in same house. Hopefully you have some self-respect to realize that, and that you deserve someone who will 100% commit to you and love you 100%. If you want another person for the next 40-50 years of your life, it’s possible. Don’t be so hopeless that she was the ONLY one for you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 08:41 PM
1

Someone who will be a good mother (I’m 32m, no kids). I feel most other things will take care of themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 05:01 PM
9

Your results are going to be skewed because you did not include a “I just want to see results” option
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 08:01 PM
1

3rd option: wife divorced me … but want to see results
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 03:44 PM
1

Doesn’t have to be an affair, but she’s probably mentally and emotionally moved on.. ..there’s always hope, but sometimes it can feel more and more bleak more it goes unresolved.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 10:30 AM
1

Talk to a lawyer, you may have more options than you realize, but time may be of the essence.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 08:07 PM
1

My opinion, the lack of trust will probably inevitably force a divorce down the road anyways. A marriage typically takes full commitment to last to the end. I think odds of no divorce is higher if assets are shared and you’re in this together, but that’s just my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 10:15 PM
90

I think mistake #1 was talking on the phone with her for “hours” last week. That sort of says a lot where you’re at (which you’ve outlined you still miss her). It’s okay to miss someone you were close to, but 99% of the time, that person is more an image of who you wish she was, and who you wish she could become. Holding on to that hope, because you’re optimistic, instead of realizing she already showed you who she really is and what she really wants, will just f*ck you up again when you go down…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 10:49 PM
13

I don’t understand, do you not find her personality attractive? Or what about what’s she’s accomplished? Who she’s become? Anything about her besides looks? I ask because what drives love should be something much deeper than looks, or else your marriage seems meaningless.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 10:40 PM
6

My ex was in healthcare (operating room) and the drama & unprofessionalism is real. The stress and long odd hours don’t help. All they do is socialize the entire time they work, make non-stop sexual jokes, backstab each other, etc
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 12:42 PM
3

My therapist is more like a counselor, less venting on my end & more practical.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 12:41 PM
7

Under 2 conditions for marraige: it is clear he physically abused her or he cheated on her. If it was “narcissistic abuse” or something else, too hard to determine actual vs what every woman classifies it as, and I’d stay away.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 12:35 PM
1

Step 1: log into your insurance online, or call them, and see how much each session costs in network Step 2: use the online platform to filter mental health care in network Step 3: use PsychologyToday , set your insurance filter, and then whatever else you want. I’d ask them to verify what your cost would be before you start (they’ll typically call insurance to double-check). Best of luck, and it’s always better to understand now and move on sooner, and to build habits now instead of finding you…
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 03:32 AM
4

Divorce finalized a few days ago and I haven’t had sex, intentionally so, since we separated beginning of the year. Yeah, I miss sex, and miss her a little at times and would feel jealous imagining if she had other partners. But once I’ve accepted the why behind everything and started focusing on myself, I’ve been doing really well. We deserve better, and there are women out there willing to show that to you. My only hesitation in your situation is if she is a good woman, or there is hope for bo…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 06:10 PM
8

If you haven’t in a while, maybe you guys could vacation together (without the kids if an option) &’ rekindle the spark. I wouldn’t bring up potential divorce if the spark comes back.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 07:06 PM
4

Totally feel that distrust 100%. Only difference, we never had kids, and I still want kids & the traditional family. So bit of a catch-22.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 04:54 PM
24

This is so complicated.. Dude you’re not married to her, idk what’s up with all the rules.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 12:59 AM
3

I’d negotiate. Let her take furniture, and you pay no alimony (if you have to). If you can do a simplified dissolution of marriage, you can keep all separation of debt/assets private between you two. Easier to negotiate now, and end this smoothly if you can. Otherwise If it’s going to be ugly anyways, then yeah get your furniture back.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 01:44 PM
21

This is an all too common story. Anyone she talks too, more likely was 100% validating her instead of encouraging her to fix the issues. But this is to be expected with any one-sided story regardless of context. Don’t be surprised if she says she “gave you a lot of chances” when in actuality those “chances” were rarely verbally communicated until the end. I think women sit mentally on deep issues for a while (whether they share with friends or not), and it mentally and emotionally exhausts them.…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 06:32 PM
10

Contrary to everyone here, I would like her to admit it. The closest thing she told me was “I know I was a difficult person to lead.” My divorce finalizes Aug 2nd, but as time has went on, I’ve realized i deserve better and I’m slowly more and more on the side of not caring/not believing her apology if she even will have one.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 03:34 PM
5

To have such little respect, or commitment, is really not a good sign at all. Sounds like this is all heading towards divorce anyways, even if she comes back. Prolonging the process just holds you back from building the life you want. Sorry you’re going through this. My ex started having long phone calls after work with a guy coworker before she came home because they clicked as friends. I guarantee you even if it was “just talking” , he wasn’t telling her to come back home and fix things. He 10…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 02:46 AM
4

I let her keep it. It’s my testament that I love her and didn’t want her to walk away. She can feel the guilt of selling or getting rid of it. It would have been hard for me, but now my conscious is clear regardless what she does.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 02:58 PM
4

“Financial repression” , idk what that even means
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 09:25 PM
1

I’d file quickly. If hypothetically you are on the fence, you can always cancel the process if you both wanna work it out. But she already showed how she feels about you, so might as well get the legal advantage just in case.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 09:24 PM
2

Yes and someday I hope to. I’m 32, and would like to have kids and a wife who wants a more traditional family too. Difference this time is I don’t care to chase the cute fun girls anymore when I first got married.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 01:09 AM
3

I’d freeze them or lock them, instead of tanking credit
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 12:31 PM
3

I think it’s a narcissistic trait of self-preservation, not letting their ego get tainted, and avoiding feeling any guilt for leaving. Or , they’re also just doing what the lawyer tells them, or their friends make them believe false things because they only hear half-stories which enforces the half-truths about you in her mind.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 12:11 PM
11

Not rush getting married. Make sure she confronts and deals with her trauma first. On my end, I’d spend more time with my guy friends. I’d also set stronger boundaries and set firmer expectations.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 06:22 PM
2

I’m 32, no kids, and going through this too.. You’re definitely not alone. Our court date is July 12th. I’d say the ups & downs still happen, but increasingly I’ve become more stable, and the lows are less low and less frequent. I haven’t pursued any woman during this time, and probably won’t for a little. I do long for intimacy and to feel wanted, but I’m also enjoying making consistent improvements in my own life and mindset that make me feel more like a “man” and “leader.” It doesn’t have the…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 02:07 PM
1

I was able to agree with my ex to keep all debt/assets private between us, with a Simplified Dissolution of Marriage instead of the standard papers. Then again we had no kids, and not much in assets/debt to figure out. Edit: idk if the standard papers has that checkbox option as well.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 03:59 AM
3

Do you feel it was a good enough reason to abandon the relationship? Often times, women leave with shit reasons that really could have been worked on if they were properly communicated and the space was given for change in a healthy way.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 04:43 PM
2

When my wife moved out, I helped furnish some of her apartment. I make a lot more , and consciously still felt like I should care for her. That was 2.5 months ago. She cut up our shared credit card. When she moved out we agreed for the short-term she’ll pay me $125/mo for cell phone & car insurance. Obvs that’s discounted, but she has a few more months until insurance renews and I’m dropping her coverage. I was just being nice since she had a lot of other stressful things to figure out. This way…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 02:03 AM
18

If you find someone else, in fairness to your new partner you should not maintain contact with your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 01:57 PM
4

Personally, it feels good not to overshare in conversations. Often times it can get awkward fast & I realize I shared too much. So I stopped. Few of my siblings know, but I have not told my parents & won’t until the divorce is finalized. We moved to opposite side of country 8 months ago not knowing anyone, and our process should be quick, so it’s a bit of a different situation I’m sure.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 10:42 PM
7

I’d tell him If you feel morally it’s the right thing. Stand on what you believe, imo, and deal with the consequences secondly. Your GF also needs to know you don’t stand for that, otherwise, what message are you sending her too?
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 08:58 PM
13

I want kids, but not a wife. My ex ruined that for me. …bit of a catch-22…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 02:19 AM
6

Whatever you do, don’t build your next marriage on a foundation of lies. As a man, you own up to your actions whether they were justified or not.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 07:21 PM
2

I usually do all laundry Friday (not much) so my weekends are free of time consuming stuff. Bed sheets every week if I can. I have like 4/5 rotating sets. Vacuum every or every other day. Deep clean like 1x a month. My ex would do it more than 2x or more a month.. everything is usually really clean anyways since living alone.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 12:42 PM
1

My ex just turned 26, so I can’t comfort myself with those thoughts lol
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 07:48 PM
12

I’d personally avoid mentioning she’s the first date in 12 years.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 01:39 PM
1

When a girl loses respect of her man, she won’t find him as attractive, won’t submit, and ignore/treat him like shit. Some men need to go the internal hard work & become worthy of respect/submission from their woman. There are also men worthy of respect & aren’t treated well because how society fucked up women. Sounds like she’s a product of todays society unfortunately - feminism, promiscuity, promises that running around taking dick is fine, “I’m independent”, dumb shit & dumb decisions, etc. …
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 12:22 AM
6

Communicate with your professors in the program, and say something like “I think I’ll be alright, but just letting you know in case it starts affecting my studies” We’re all human at the end of the day, rooting for you!
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 05:06 PM
1

Have you guys signed divorce papers yet? Until we officially signed papers (she moved out before we signed anything) I considered myself married. While we wait on the legal process, “I’m single” and “I just got out of a relationship” since the initial papers have already been signed. However, I’m not looking to date yet.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 10:07 PM
2

I just moved across the US coast-to-coast 6 months ago. Since I don’t know anyone, it forces me to better myself to look better for confidence, to make friends, to challenge myself, re-evaluate what matters to me, etc, with all the time on my hands. The other plus is new experiences, new hobbies to pick up, and I don’t have to explain myself to anyone I previously knew. Local Facebook groups & the Meetup app have been great to meet people. Other things I’m doing: a therapy workbook called “how t…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 12:10 AM
2

I’m in the same boat as you, no kids etc. Seems most divorced people here already had kids. I wonder if they didn’t, how many would still want kids, and how that’d affect the advice they give. Just turned 32, but assuming I take a few years before re-marrying, wonder if women will be past the wanting to have kids stage.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 03:15 AM
3

Got married while wife was finishing last year of college. First year being married, I was paying off my wife’s tuition bills as they came in so we wouldn’t carry debt. 4 years in, she finally gets her first full-time job. We never had kids, but she was content with part time hours first 3 years of marriage. She also asked for a divorce a few weeks into her full-time job. So, they’re always more than capable of working hard, whether or not they have kids as a motivating factor.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 08:45 PM
5

A lot of people in this sub have similar stories. Browse many comments under the posts, and you’ll get some great advice from commenters. It’s okay to be in your feelings. All of this will get easier to handle both emotionally and mentally, and one day soon, you’ll be thankful for your new beginning.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 08:41 PM
0

1 hobby that makes you money // 1 hobby that keeps you in shape // 1 hobby that keeps you creative // 1 hobby to build knowledge // 1 hobby to evolve your mindset Maybe not all these apply, but should give you a starting point. Another place to start is replacing bad habits with good habits. I personally think Meetup is the best app to meet others by local activities. And as much as I hate Facebook, there are many local groups doing stuff frequently for socializing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 10:46 PM
2

Just turned 32, and I hope to re-marry some day. I don’t have any kids and would like to “build a life” with someone some day and have that partner/companion. I’d ignore everyone here giving off the impression divorced men don’t want to re-marry. This sub exists because of how women have hurt men and their families.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 03:09 PM
3

It can work if she actually is 100% committed to trying. But that would require she loves you and wants you genuinely. Once they’ve mentally set their mind on leaving, it’s usually a matter of time before it actually happens.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 08:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter