| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | Never though I'd be here... | wantmywifeback | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/25 08:12 PM | |
| 0 | Anyone ever force themselves back home? | wantmywifeback | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/25 04:49 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | How did you cope with the brain trying to play the what if game?Curious on your story man.... I'd love to know more. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/25 06:53 PM |
| 1 | Question for introverted menDude this is such a great piece of advice! Same, introvert, and wife is extroverted... 6 weeks separated and realizing how if I just make the effort, I have alot to offer personality wise and conversationally. Interesting take on the personality match up as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/25 03:11 AM |
| 3 | Question for introverted menI'm introverted and 6 weeks into being separated. I'm finding myself now, less and less introverted. I HAVE to be around people otherwise things get...dark. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/25 03:10 AM |
| 1 | First thanksgiving aloneHoly shit. God that's gotta be awful compounding selling the house. Hit me up anytime you want to talk I'm here. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/25 11:12 PM |
| 2 | First thanksgiving aloneNot gonna lie this last week SUCKED... yea agreed. I threw out the "bat signal" to my mens group to see how many people I could meet with...coffee, movies, football, whatever. Got with a few guys but man... it was awful. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/25 08:43 PM |
| 1 | Wife kicked me out, how long til I can see kids?OP any update? | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/25 05:24 PM |
| 2 | First thanksgiving aloneDude so good to hear. 41M here, 17 years, kids are teens. 6 weeks separated. Staying with my parents but yea similar, found a mens group through a chuch...lifesaver. Really sorry to hear man. Im open to chatting if you want! | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/25 05:09 PM |
| 1 | Life after leavingHoly shit... dude this is life changing. Might have to DM you if your okay with it. I'm 6 weeks into my separation. I've been meandering since Oct 20th, and wow... I've read your post like 5 times - https://www.reddit.com/r/Separation/comments/1oeduum/help_im_so_alone/ | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/25 09:41 PM |
| 2 | The Good Person Trap: Why "Taking the High Road" Is the Single Worst Strategy in High-Conflict DivorceDude are you me? I'm gonna DM you haha... edit - realized I can't DM you but would love to know more about this. I'm a nice guy as well | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/25 08:42 PM |
| 2 | Happy Thanksgiving!Good reminder here yes! | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/25 08:28 PM |
| 2 | Hard DaysRight there with ya brother. It was very hard. Separated 5 weeks. 15 year old won't talk to me, so had a small dinner with my 12 year old and my parents. Breathe. Get with friends. I'm an introvert but realized how I've got to reach out... i'm hanging out with coworkers, etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/25 08:26 PM |
| 1 | Dichotomy of emotions?hah no, customer service manager | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/11/25 10:36 PM |
| 2 | Divorce & HolidaysDamn this is really good advice, thank you for this. I've done #7 (have been this all my life). Kids 15 and 12, been at my parents 3 weeks. It's brutal. I messed up, initially thought I only spent like $2k in the past year but accounted for everything and it was more like $10k (granted, 840 credit score, plug away $35k/year toward retirement, 0 debt, etc). Coupled with porn use over the years she kicked me out. Hoping to reconcile, done the work (8 counseling sessions in the past 3 weeks, ebay'd… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/25 10:44 PM |
| 1 | Help with first stepsUgh. I mean, in all honesty I had a "consult" but only because of wanting to get guidance on moving back in, etc. Given that Virginia doesn't have a legal separation and you have to be apart for a year before you can file for divorce, I assume nothing can really happen until I've been gone for a year (not saying I will). I'm balancing that line between trying to reconcile and my rights as the owner of the home, dad etc. Tomorrow marks day 21, full 3 weeks. This week our therapists are talking wi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/25 09:24 PM |
| 3 | Dichotomy of emotions?Dude I'm so sorry to hear. 17 years, two kids (15/12) and wife kicked me out 3 weeks ago. Hoping to reconcile (spent money without telling her, no debt but still deceitful... and looked at porn at various times). I've had to "sit" in this as I've been able to at least sleep at my parents, however humbling. The feelings are raw. I've found a mens group that meets every wednesday night from this church I don't attend but that's helped greatly. I've never realized the value of male friendships unti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/25 02:46 PM |
| 1 | Help with first stepsUgh, that's sobering. Thanks I appreciate that. Coming up on 3 weeks since I got kicked out (long story short, spent around 10k on just dumb shit without telling her, technology, computers, smart watch, etc, and looked at porn a few times over 17 years). Granted, 840 credit score, no debt except the houes, lots of savings in retirement. She's just pissed (obviously) that I lied and hid purchases from her. Yea if I had to do it again it would be separate checking accounts without hesitation. I ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/25 02:42 PM |
| 1 | Help with first stepsCurious how did you do this? My wife and I have both consulted with a lawyer but I (think) we hope to reconcile. Did you just have cash in savings, or each take out from your roth or something? Hoping neither one of us has to pull the trigger but who knows. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/25 02:25 PM |
| 1 | Distractions suggestionsDude, that's awesome to hear. I have 2 dogs I miss a shit ton as well as my two boys. Would love to know your story. Were you just drifting apart or you did something? I spent like 10 grand on stupid shit, technology, watches, TVs, etc... didn't put us in debt, have great credit but still hid alot of the truth from her. And also porn use a few times throughout our marriage I finally admitted to. Kicked out like 18 days ago and now in the spot your at... ruminating, wondering etc. Upcoming holida… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/11/25 06:24 PM |
| 1 | Distractions suggestionsDude, I never realized what a good phrase that was until you said it..."thought rumination..." Fuck, yes this 100%. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/11/25 06:20 PM |
| 1 | Never though I'd be here...Thanks for the comment. To clarify, I updated this in response to a thorough accounting of everything, which honestly took a while and to being honest WAS higher than I thought. I spent a week pouring over every little thing imaginable. What I thought was $2,000 was more like $10k and once I realized that, I told my wife immediately in a full disclosure. I presented her with the full list and tried including EVERYTHING (lawn mower, TV, front door smart lock, networking equipment for the house, e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/11/25 03:33 PM |
| 11 | Visited the other divorce subs and I'm shocked...Damn I had no idea there was a r/divorcdeddads....thank you so much! 17 days into my separation. Things starting to maybe look up but it's still so lonely. Thank you for the extra resource! | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/11/25 01:49 PM |
| 1 | Struggling with lonelinessDamn dude, 41M here as well... day 16 of staying at my parents. I guess separated...ish. But your words are like looking in a mirror. Your similar age makes it all the more creepy - "The loss of the person who made me feel safe" Like.... wow. First 4 days didn't eat. Now what's scary is my parents home has become the sort of "normal" and I hate even that. Hoping to go back home... by thanksgiving. Maybe. Hit me up, DM, text whatever. Here for ya My story - https://www.reddit.com/r/Separation/com… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/25 05:57 PM |
| 1 | Anyone ever force themselves back home?Thank you, seriously. It hurts but I need it. Here's more context, what I'm doing and other details to help. As for the kids, technically she is still inviting me to different kids functions, it's just that now it's sending it to my gmail address. She definitely isn't keeping them from me persay, but knowing i have to prep for the inevitible, I'm making EVERY effort to reach out to ask and state that I want to spend time with the kids (take them to school, hang out, etc). My youngest has been up… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/25 05:55 PM |
| 1 | Anyone ever force themselves back home?Thank you for this thoughtful and well balanced insight. Okay since you seem to be pretty wise let me follow up with this. Last Thursday she and I met to go over our finances for 30 minutes. At the end she read a statement where she said there won't be any reconciliation until I provide a "full disclosure" which to her point there were a few other instances of porn use in the past. So I'm hopeful that once I compile that and send to her by tomorrow, along with a full accounting of all the $10k o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/25 02:46 PM |
| 0 | Anyone ever force themselves back home?Trigger being moving back in when she doesn't want me to...despite knowing legally there's nothing stopping me | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/25 01:59 PM |
| 0 | Anyone ever force themselves back home?Wait so you were kicked out, and then moved back in and she was fine with it? Sorry would love to know more. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/25 01:59 PM |
| 1 | Did your Wife start seeing a Therapist before she filed for Divorce?Hey what's the update? Day 10 in a separation and today my wife saw her counselor for the first time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/25 10:37 PM |
| 1 | Need advice, just live with it or make a change (really long, sorry)OP how did things work out? I (41M) and am in a sort of similar situation with my wife (38F). 10 days ago got the boot to my parents house. Bought 5-10 grand worth of stuff over the years I shouldn't have that we probably didn't need and looked at porn. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/25 08:42 PM |
| 1 | Question/AdviceHow are you doing since? Day 10 of separation here, 2 teenagers. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/25 05:40 PM |
| 1 | What its like being divorced?This has to be the most emotionally well regulated response. I think we all hope to achieve this level one day if it ends on that road haha | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/25 03:34 AM |
| 1 | Bouncing back…Dude this hits home thank you internet stranger. 9 days into being kicked out to my parents house and your post was the first glimmer of "oh that might be nice" I've had. I might take you up on that DM too if you don't mind. 41 M here, 2 teenage kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/25 04:25 PM |
| 1 | So ParanoidHey this is good to know...in Virginia here and my wife kicked me out 9 days ago. Was worried that might negatively affect things | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/25 04:21 PM |
| 1 | Co parenting with someone who thrives on conflict is exhaustingDude I feel this. 9 days into my separation and while I'm grateful my kids are 15 and 13 it also hurts more as the time we had was very relatable...movies, video games, sports. Maybe you can give me perspective from another man that has/had a high conflict ex.... it seems to intensify every day, was it that way with you? The intensity, duration and frequency just keep growing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/25 03:11 PM |
| 2 | Guys, I am still so messed up.whew i feel that. Day 9 on my separation and I feel like I gotta stop with #2. Worst times. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/25 03:08 PM |
| 3 | Newly separated, confusing timesOP god I feel like we're similar. 41 here, wife 38. Join finances, 1 car, 2 kids. Small mortgage, no bills/debts. 840 credit scores. If you find answers can you share? I'm day 8 at staying at my parents and end of this week I feel like I've gotta pee or get off the pot and say "i'm coming back whether you like it or not" or we move toward reconciling. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/25 11:22 PM |
| 2 | Newly separated, confusing timesI'm torn with this. day 8 of staying at my parents. we're still in that "hoping we can make it work" stage. Do I just go back in and tell her to suck it up while I live in another room? | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/25 11:20 PM |
| 2 | False allegations are funny - let them believe it!!What's an OP? Sorry new here...day 8 of being separated, two teenagers and have no idea what to do/think. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/25 11:16 PM |
| 1 | Feeling so lonely it and depression hits meLove this, wow never thought about that. Thanks I'll check it out | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/25 08:07 PM |
| 3 | Feeling so lonely it and depression hits meDude love this thank you. I'm on the beginning path of this guy...17 years married, 8 days into being at my parents. Great advice. What hobby did you find? | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/25 04:40 AM |
| 6 | Hopeful there's a light in this darknessGod I'm so sorry man. I'm 17 years in, and going on day 8 of being in my parents house, kicked out. Last week was rough, so if your on day 3 just keep holding on. Around day 6-7 I felt something, felt I could eat. Barely functioning myself although I was the problem (hide purchases and porn). Do what you need for you. Take some time, be kind to yourself and do WHATEVER you can to get into a group of other men...divorce group, bowling group...whatever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/25 04:39 AM |
| 2 | Never though I'd be here...Thanks man. I mean I did buy shit and hide it and shouldn't have. But good point. I gotta focus on that with the boys. I know it's given me a renewed purpose in that regard. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/25 11:32 PM |
| 1 | Club I thought I’d never be inSorry to latch on to another of your comments but damn this is good stuff. I'm sitting in my office at work, needing to do work, but damn it's hard to not just keeping trying to "solve" this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/25 02:25 PM |
| 1 | Realizing My Wife Emotionally Abuse MeI know this post is 2 years old but damn, so much of what you say resonates. I (41M) am 7 days into staying at my parents after my wife kicked me out. I too had issues and mine were a plenty (spent several thousands over the past 2-3 years on stuff that we either didn't need, hid some of those purchases from her, looked at porn last year). I'm hoping to reconcile but I've also never set boundaries. I tried the other night and got blown up for it. Im at such a loss. I love your username... I have… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/25 02:20 PM |
| 2 | Never though I'd be here...that's good to know that you came back after a week and things still worked out okay for you in the end...i was thinking of doing the same. I literally just picked up every single piece of clothing from my porch in 5 big trash bags | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 05:20 PM |
| 2 | Never though I'd be here...Damn thank you for responding, I might DM you. So did you ever fear about the whole "if I move out then I'm screwing myself down the road" thing? I've been going back and forth with this, thinking/hoping we can resolve it and me staying away will help... and if I force myself back into my house (which obviously I can do), it'll basically end everything right then and there. How long have you been at your own place? I'm 4 days in at my parents and in some way it being "my parents" seems to make i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 01:53 PM |
| 2 | Never though I'd be here...Thank you for that. I guess in her mind she sees the trees (ala "you had $150 this month and you bought a $500 apple watch, so obviously your going way over") when in my mind i'm seeing the forest of "well, we get $1800/year of "no questions asked money" and yea I probably went upwards of $3000 but (insert your points here). I guess it's just two different perspectives and it's hard to argue those points right now | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 01:45 PM |
| 3 | Never though I'd be here...I appreciate the back and forth. I'll be honest I did violate her trust. It's hard to find where the balance in all this is between accepting my role and over condemnation. Obviously everyone's standards are different. Monday at 5:38pm was the kick out day. While I own it I feel like theres gotta come a point where I have to say "i'm coming back home" because i'm afraid of poor legal ramifications of being away from the house for so long. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 01:43 PM |
| 1 | Im in a bad placeReally, really appreciate that man. Yea those sound good but you gotta laugh... hell even stand up (tom seguria, bill barr). I'm only saying this because the first 71 hours have been me balling and feeling like a piece of shit, with the last hour being a small realization that I am more than this. I'm sure i'll be back at square one tomm. Same to you here for ya! | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 03:57 AM |
| 1 | Never though I'd be here...Thank you, sorry what's SLAA? dang yes I will dm! | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 03:40 AM |
| 1 | Never though I'd be here...I feel like that will make things worse. But I know at some point I need to come home especially to protect my interests. I feel like a week is plenty...showing i'm respecting boundaries but also not being a push over and legally putting myself in a bind? | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 03:18 AM |
| 2 | Im in a bad placeYou got this. I'm 72 hours into a "soft" separation, staying at my parents. While it's not the same situation I've realized us guys need a tight circle. Honestly I would meet with you lawyer asap and do what you can to get as much legal time with your kids as possible. I have two teenagers and hope it doesn't come to that but they're the focus right now for you. Try to eat while your distracted. Found it helps. Watch southpark or something that is a creature comfort while just making a goal of e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 02:56 AM |
| 2 | Never though I'd be here...Thank you, same comment to you...I'm in virginia... is there a certain time period where it crosses that critical threshold? Been 72 hours and while I want to give her space I also don't want to screw myself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 02:42 AM |
| 3 | Never though I'd be here...Thank you, so I'm in virginia... is there a certain time period where it crosses that critical threshold? Been 72 hours and while I want to give her space I also don't want to screw myself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 02:42 AM |
| 1 | Never though I'd be here...Thank you man I really appreciate that. I noticed two comments above about going back to the house... I'm in this weird spot, post 72 hours where I feel like she just needs her space but I also don't want to be in a bad future legal spot. Thoughts? | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 02:38 AM |
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