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View 1 post and 60 comments by wcdan on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Had a similar situation. The law was on my side. Too bad. She proposed 100%/0%. I said, that's fine, let's see what the courts say. If you want to negotiate reasonably you might get more than in court. Otherwise, take a hike. She negotiated, but to be fair, the mediator kept reminding her what a good deal she was getting whenever she started to get too aggressive.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 12:07 AM
4

Put another way, there are a grand total of zero marriages on the planet where people who were having trouble communicating openly and honestly with each other had that fixed or improved by the stress and responsibility of having a kid. Maybe do a few sessions with a couples counselor and decide if you both want the same thing long term. The goal is to avoid having your husband come back here a few years from now with a kid.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 04:24 PM
1

A million things but the biggest is the communication. It's effortless and easy. It's so weird to be with someone where every hard conversation is not a fight.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 12:46 AM
2

Figured after a 20 year marriage and a 2+ year divorce process I would just date for a few years and see what happens. No pressure. Completely ok with solitude (not loneliness). Had no trouble casually dating because I wasn't very invested. Then 3 months after the divorce was final, I met HER. It's like we were custom engineered for each other. Freaking spooky! We both want the same things and are in no hurry, don't feel the need to rush anything. Had no idea there could be someone out there lik…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 09:10 PM
4

Don't be nervous. You know a lot more than you did last time. A lot! At 32, you're a young man. Young enough to date the unserious ones in their 20s, old enough to date the experienced ones in their 40s. The most important thing is to be happy with yourself instead of looking to "complete yourself" with someone else. Validation comes from inside. If you nail that, the "right" women will flock to you. Have fun out there!
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 03:03 PM
4

You are the only one who has sat down with your sister to talk about it so you are the only one with a clue about what really happened. Your STBX and daughter have taken a stand based on what someone else's wife said that's clearly clouded by their own perspective. That's hearsay at best and just a dumb thing to take a stand on. Courts don't convict people based on what somebody heard from somebody else about somebody else. That's absurd. Your daughter is going to learn a painful and valuable li…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 03:51 PM
-1

Man up. Society discourages women in the workforce and doesn't pay them as much for the same work. You made a commitment. Honor it. Getting back into the workforce after being out of it means you start at the bottom. Get a hobby so your value in life isn't defined by your job. Check yourself bro.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 04:19 PM
-9

Misogynist philosopher said what?
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 08:23 AM
1

This is the way. I told mine she should take the kids early for Mother's Day. She told me she was planning on taking the kids out of town on my birthday. No good deed goes unpunished.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 02:50 AM
8

Since you can't talk about grown women without calling them girls or bitches, it's pretty clear why you're worried about them having a conversation about you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 09:19 PM
1

The only way out, is through.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 04:19 AM
4

You deal with it by remembering that life is change. Nothing lasts. Not the marriage and not your pain. I'm two years ahead of you and there was a lot that sucked. But at some point there was more good than bad. Now there is still occasional bad. But mostly, life is whatever I want to make it (within reason!).
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 11:13 PM
6

Masterclass in victim blaming right here. ^ Real men take responsibility for their actions son. They don't try and look for a way to pin it on someone else. OP is owning it and has come to the understanding that the only choice is to become a better person. Maybe try the same.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 11:54 PM
6

Why is your incentive based on what other people think about you? Outside validation. Need to be happy with yourself first. Be a good man for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 12:00 AM
1

When all you know is privilege, Equality looks like oppression.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 09:23 PM
8

I can see it now... Half the guys are too depressed to pay dues or attend meetings, Half the guys are too broke to pay dues or attend meetings. And half the guys are trying to figure out how to make the math work. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 09:20 PM
2

They post this exact same reply often. It's not specific to the OP.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 09:30 PM
2

Yeah, he can go pound sand. His decisions are not relevant in your house. "I considered what you said and I don't agree and therefore that decision does not apply in my house. Feel free to contact an attorney or law enforcement if you feel otherwise. I'd love to have that conversation after some of the things I understand about how you treat my son." Set boundaries and hint at further consequences for any bad behavior toward you or your son.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 05:33 PM
10

I'm still trying to wrap my head around why the mom and the boyfriend feel like their grounding rule has any meaning in your house. She instructed you what to do? Is she your boss or your mom? Is the boyfriend your dad? You are a grown adult and make your own rules in your own house. If she wants to discuss something with you that's totally fine but you are under no obligation to agree and she has no right to go to your house to enforce her rules. I've told my ex plenty of times that I heard wha…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 04:43 AM
1

If you feel you've gotten what you need out of therapy, stop therapy. If you don't feel like you're getting what you need, change to one that will be more help.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 07:25 PM
4

You already know how blessed you are so let's hope it spreads to everyone who reads this post. Congrats.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 01:47 AM
2

I know this feeling so much.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 07:12 AM
–

Unless she's a total moron if she's using the other attorney as review counsel then she'll know what she wants to accept and what she wants to ignore. For whatever reason people on this sub want to treat all women like children who have no agency of their own. My counsel suggested things that I did not bring to meditation. This is an emotional time. I'd suggest not spending time imagining worst case scenarios. If it comes to it, you'll deal with it. It's not in your control right now anyway. Bre…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 06:50 PM
2

I agree with all this. Adding on... The NA alcohol is not the rubbish that was around years ago. I've drank it watching football and not thought about it. To steal from the line in Better Off Dead where he says "Dying when you're not really sick is really sick. Really." Drinking a depressant when you're really depressed is really depressing. Really. And the effect hits you a few days later so you don't even notice. It's not helping. Do something else that makes your body feel good. Most people h…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 11:10 PM
3

The World's Best Dad During and After Divorce by Paul Mandelstein You're already doing all the right stuff except maybe the gym, no alcohol, plenty of sleep stuff you might not have mentioned. The kids are what matters and when you get through this (and you will get through this), you will be an even better dad because you won't have the rest of everything dragging you down. Keep going fellow Dad. The only way out is through.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 06:39 PM
1

This. OP needs a serious therapist now, and it's going to be extremely painful. This is going to be a long road to walk.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 04:48 PM
2

The World's Best Dad During and After Divorce: A Guide to Co-Parenting for Divorced Dads By Paul Mandelstein
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 06:53 AM
2

The kids need to know that they are loved and supported and that you will always both be there for them no matter what. Even if you're no longer together. That will be much more than enough for them to process. They do not need to know anything about the reasons that Mom and Dad split up. If you can't handle putting your kids in front of your desire to get back at your spouse then go see a therapist and learn to be a better dad. It stopped being about you the day you became a father.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 05:12 PM
1

😂
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 04:36 PM
2

Meditation is to avoid a court hearing but she does have to participate. Not answering is also a negotiation tactic. The mediator will tell you both what a judge would say about each part of the proposal. As long as it doesn't violate any laws, you can negotiate any settlement you want.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 04:18 PM
7

When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 03:50 PM
2

It's ChatGPT. Be wary of its legal advice. For the love, don't ask it to do math.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 05:38 PM
-4

It's such nonsense from the get go. This guy makes money when you get divorced. Let's leave aside the fact that he quotes the Unabomber as someone with a great perspective. Definitely someone who thinks clearly about life... He starts with saying, if you pick "professions" that have a lot of women, you'll find more women who want to get divorced. Hey guys, if you go to a professional football team, you'll find a lot of people who like sports! Wow! Genius! Extrapolating from a completely biased s…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 03:53 PM
5

I feel like the copy and paste straight from ChatGPT is the new "let me Google that for you".
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 06:05 AM
2

I was walking through a crowded area today and heard a guy say "my wife doesn't like..." as a reason he couldn't do something he enjoyed and I thought "I don't have to deal with that crap anymore!".
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 09:53 PM
7

You're clearly depressed. Understandably so. Stop drinking depressants. It's not going to help your mindset. Do all the other things that people suggest like working out, meeting friends, etc. to help your mindset. I took a year off from alcohol. It's not helping.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 02:56 PM
0

My 1st lawyer female (trash), new lawyer female (Godsend!). Now back the rest of this thread where people make wild generalizations about millions of people being easily lumped together.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 05:55 AM
2

If you're going to propose stuff you don't expect to be taken seriously in mediation and want to go to court then go to court. Nothing you do in mediation will have any bearing on court because no one will have signed anything when mediation fails. You can ask for anything you want but the mediator will tell you what is off limits (e.g. permanently waiving child support) A good mediator will tell you when your proposal is unreasonable and help you fix it. Mediation is to get a better deal than y…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 04:18 PM
2

I agree with this. One of the keys to happiness is to live your own values. Your values and who you are, are not determined by her actions or other commenters justified or not justified hostility toward their exes. Be yourself, and be happy.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 03:53 PM
0

Holy moley do you have that backwards. In the US if you get sick that could be bankruptcy so people here get the support from their ex. In the US college costs an arm and a leg so you get support from your ex. In other countries if you get sick, you get treatment., they don't have student debt. Your ex doesn't need to support you as much because there is already a safety net for that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 12:44 AM
2

It's because the US doesn't have socialized medicine, education, childcare, etc. In those countries you're talking about most bankruptcies aren't because you got sick like humans do. The idea of massive student debt is completely unheard of. Etc.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/25 03:24 PM
1

The World's Best Dad During and After Divorce: A Guide to Co-Parenting for Divorced Dads by Paul Mandelstein https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49253072-the-world-s-best-dad-during-and-after-divorce
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 04:39 AM
3

The World's Best Dad During and After Divorce by Paul Mandelstein Keeps you focused on what really matters and gives you the tools to deal with the incredible madness, without becoming a hater. Based on lots of men's experiences, not just the author.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 03:25 PM
2

Alcohol is a depressant. You do not need depressants in any quantity when you are already depressed. I took an entire year off from drinking going through the divorce process. Coming back to it after a year is a completely different relationship. I felt like you did, multiple times. Now it's the furthest from my mind. Stop drinking now Get healthy (gym, etc) Do therapy/meditation Work on your relationship with your kids. They will always need a great dad. There are no substitutes. Come out of th…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 04:26 PM
1

Imagine how many men we've lost to suicide because of this "just tough it out, don't ask for help if you need help" advice. If I want to get better at something I get a coach. I don't just get in a boxing ring with a pro boxer because I decided training myself is probably good enough.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 04:16 PM
1

He knows who his real father is. You're talking about his biological father.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 04:38 AM
6

That makes sense. It had very "rich person when hearing about other people's problems asks Have you tried just not being poor?" vibes. Meanwhile, rich guy was probably born on 3rd base and thinks he hit a home run.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 05:42 PM
10

By reading these threads it looks like they want the poor to pay for the rich people's tax cuts. Maybe Christian nationalism is not in favor of divorce so you'll have more kids instead of more legal immigration? idk.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 04:40 PM
2

I know this is going to get a lot of hate in this sub but... Get a copy of Convict Conditioning, read it, and never look back. As someone who spent 20+ years going to the gym, all that crap, like CrossFit is nonsense. I bought into it hook, line, and sinker like everyone else. Those are businesses. I don't miss the gym one bit and I'm as fit as I've ever been. But real functional fitness, not posing because I did preacher curls fitness. (I also love my heavy bag) This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 06:18 AM
2

Most of my friend's wives do way more for them than she does for me. I agree with everything Bushwhack92 said, especially about one sided therapy. The line above is the one that stood out for me. Keeping score. Transactional. Comparing a boat and a car because they are both vehicles even though the relationship OP is in has two completely different people in it, in different situations, than anything being compared. It just jumped off the page. Maybe "upgrade" to a wife that will voluntarily do …
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 06:38 PM
5

Us Americans call that backpacking and it's one of the best things about California.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 04:27 AM
1

There is no deal that is not modifiable. You can always sue her. Even the mediators I've been interviewing say that. I'd reinterview your lawyer and make sure you're on the same page. If what they say doesn't make sense, get a second opinion or a new lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 04:54 PM
3

This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 01:25 AM
2

Out of town
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 02:31 PM
16

Lol, that is a helluva lot of projecting to think you know how people 20 years your senior and in completely different stages of their life will think. Trust me son, what you think you know now will 100% not be true in 10 years.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 02:46 AM
3

I interviewed therapists before I picked one.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 07:43 PM
5

Yes, you're going too fast. If you both like each other, there is no reason to rush anything. I doubt if you're on a deadline. Enjoy the ride instead.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 05:19 PM
2

Save some time. Extend one arm and put it on a basketball. When you can't do any more, switch. When you can do 20 on each side, go for straight up one handed pushups.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 05:57 PM
1

Good grief. I hope she's speaking to a lawyer and I hope you are too. A divorce is a legal proceeding that can affect the rest of your life unless you just got married last weekend in Vegas. Make sure you both understand the rules of the game before you start playing. Then go about dividing up the assets amicably without trying to get something over on the other one. At the end of that whole process you're going to have to sign a legal document anyway. Only a fool would rush into a life event wi…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 03:41 PM
1

Good grief. I hope she's speaking to a lawyer and I hope you are too. A divorce is a legal proceeding that can affect the rest of your life unless you just got married last weekend in Vegas. Make sure you both understand the rules of the game before you start playing. Then go about dividing up the assets amicably without trying to get something over on the other one. At the end of that whole process you're going to have to sign a legal document anyway. Only a fool would rush into a life event wi…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 03:40 PM
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