whansami Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
3	How should average men pursue casual sex according to women? Okay…. I think we may have just discovered why women might not find you particularly attractive (and it has nothing to do with your looks).	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/08/25 09:13 PM
1	Ironically, progressive women are still obsessed with status in men Thank you for the tip about quoting. Also, it took a while but I was FINALLY able to open the manuscript of the study. I kept hitting the links, which didn’t work, but then hit “save” and was granted access. I am excited! I hated my classes in experimental design in school (I was a clinician) but have found through the years that I like thinking about it — it has become like a puzzle! I did a quick read through and have a number of thoughts, but the one that jumps out most is that the effect of …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/08/25 01:14 PM
1	Ironically, progressive women are still obsessed with status in men Thanks for the tip re: quoting. When I hit the link the page below pops up. The links don’t work. Does something different happen with you? https://preview.redd.it/3f4i8f8rg6jf1.jpeg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d641393a3608b06850ebae91a943103e9b794aee	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/08/25 12:33 PM
–	Unattractive people are not attracted to unattractive people I’m mostly insulted that you equate “old” with “ugly”. :::sniff::: says the 65 year old as she walks off	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/08/25 12:28 PM
9	Introverted men are boring to most women (even introverted women) Maybe it would make sense to call a couple of these women (maybe three of the kindest ones) and ask them why it didn’t work out. Explain that you have been on a mission to improve yourself and would like feedback on how you can be a better companion and partner. Make it clear that you aren’t doing this to try to get another date, just that you thought things were going well, she obviously didn’t feel that as much, and that you’d like to be able to think about why that is. Ask for complete honest…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/08/25 12:19 PM
3	Introverted men are boring to most women (even introverted women) Huh? Please cite ANY data that supports this.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/08/25 12:14 PM
1	Most of us are here because we're shallow When I was in the first year of grad school I gained quite a bit of weight. I’d always been a little plump, but I really packed on that weight the first year. Somewhere around the beginning of the first semester of the second year I decided to lose weight. I (unhealthily) lost weight and by the middle of the second semester of that year I was, apparently, looking pretty damned good. Suddenly men who had known me for a year and a half were coming out of the woodwork and asking me out. I turned ev…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/08/25 05:07 PM
1	Ironically, progressive women are still obsessed with status in men You win the prize, because I cannot seem to figure out to how to quote your post within my response, so I will have to make do! Can you provide a body of the full study then? Because neither of the links you provide above are to the full study. Science Direct offers portions of the study, but not the procedures and data sections (instead providing “Section Snippets”, unless you have a subscription). If you have the subscription and could share screenshots, I would be grateful! (Btw, I am aware o…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/08/25 12:43 PM
2	Ironically, progressive women are still obsessed with status in men Yes, but the numbers you quote are misleading. Not your fault. You quoted from the article. But, media wants clicks and revenue, so they want to spin the data for the best story, not the clearest interpretation of the data. Just to be clear, the study shows that, as a group, women are more likely to rate men 2 points higher when the reported income was increased by a factor of 10. So, to put this into perspective, a man who they rated as a 5 at 50k a year becomes a 7 at 500k a year. I’d like to …	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/08/25 02:20 AM
1	Ironically, progressive women are still obsessed with status in men Ya know, I don’t think that is true. I’ve been thinking a lot about the things folks say on this board, since I joined a few months back. It has been interesting, as sometimes I read things and think “but, but, but… that’s not the point!”. Earlier today I read, and commented on, a post that suggested that women’s breasts were the root cause of men’s sexual frustration. At the end of my post I suggested that female sexuality is represented in a number of ways and to single out one aspect is missi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/08/25 09:50 PM
3	Ironically, progressive women are still obsessed with status in men One of my friends was a dentist. She married a man who made around 18k a year about 25 years ago. He was a conservationist who took a job with a nonprofit with a very meager salary. It is what made her notice him in the first place.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/08/25 04:22 PM
–	Breasts are the reason everyone is unhappy, especially women I’m so confused by this post….. OP, are you trying to say that breasts, in Western cultures, are mostly on display and are the easiest “sign” to the world that a woman is, in fact, a woman? And because straight men are sexually aroused by women, if women didn’t have breasts men wouldn’t get aroused, wouldn’t be frustrated if the woman turned him down, and therefore be angry? Well, I would agree that breasts are the most easily identifiable sign (although I would totally disagree that their “purp…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/08/25 04:06 PM
3	How are ugly couples sexually attracted too each other? Perfectly worded! That is what I was trying to say, but much less eloquently. There are times when I read this board and feel like I must have actually stumbled into an alternative reality. I don’t know this world where women are hooking up left and right with Chads and 80% of men are single. When I talk with my friends about men (who, granted, are now women “of a certain age”) appearance is almost never mentioned early on. Perhaps women, as they age, appreciate other qualities more but even whe…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/08/25 12:41 PM
13	How are ugly couples sexually attracted too each other? I knew my DH was a keeper when I watched him take his ancient kitty out to the lawn for her to have one last time basking in the sun. She was so weak she couldn’t hold her head up, so she cradled her little head in his hand and held it there for a good half hour. I watched from the window and cried. I’ve never told him…. but that is when I knew.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/08/25 03:41 AM
46	How are ugly couples sexually attracted too each other? I can acknowledge a man is objectively gorgeous, but have zero sexual attraction to them. I don’t find symmetry of face, physique, etc. to be the source of my view of someone as “sexy”. I can’t say exactly what it is that attracts me: sometimes it is the way they move; something about the way Liam Neeson moves is really attractive to me. Sometimes it is intensity: I found Vince D’onofrio’s character in Law and Order: Criminal Intent to be verrryyy sexy. In real life I have tended to be attracted…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/08/25 12:25 AM
1	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. I’m glad that we agree we will take “entitled” off the table! I am going to disagree, though, suggesting the asexual couple is the opposite of a “healthy” couple. If both partners are happy in their relationship, I’d say that is a healthy couple! I wrote in an earlier post what I think both partners should expect from marriage and their spouses. Since LTRs will absolutely change over time IMO the requirements have to do with respect, good communication skills and compatibility wrt problem-solvin…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/08/25 06:01 PM
1	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. Perhaps we need to define the word “expect”. I think your question can be interpreted a couple of ways, and without tone and inflections it can be hard to tell! Most people would say that they would “expect” that sex would be a part of a marriage. That is different than “expecting sex” from your wife. The first would refer to goals and aspirations. Hopefully it would include both partners working together to promote desire and to create mutual sexual satisfaction. That contrasts with “expecting …	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/08/25 05:30 PM
0	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. Shouldn’t who what?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/08/25 12:05 PM
3	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. He may love her, but he does not act in a loving way when she is clearly telling him she doesn’t want sex and he keeps going. Are you saying that it is in any way unreasonable to have negative feeling when someone who loves you insists on doing what he wants instead of what you want? To your body? IN your body? Once again you are, by default, setting the situation so that his feelings are valid and her feelings are not. I am not doing that. I have no problem with him feeling like he would like s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/25 06:42 PM
6	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. Feelings exist. They don’t disappear simply because you don’t like experiencing them. Of course, you can examine the feelings and see if they were brought on by erroneous thoughts or erroneous assumptions and that may change the feeling, or you might reframe them in such a way that they aren’t as strong. But the feeling itself simply exists. The woman in the example above might benefit from doing some of that… or she might not. But if you are suggesting that the simply numbing herself to the fee…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/25 05:52 PM
11	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. I’m not sure I understand your response. Marriage is not one event. It is — like life itself— a PROCESS. Everything will change over time. That’s life. The only thing that ends it is death. Or, as someone once said “the only constant is change”. So, if you marry someone because they are attractive just know: he/she will change. They will gain weight, they will lose weight. They WILL get saggy, because gravity always wins. They could go through a windshield and have their faces entirely changed. …	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/25 05:23 PM
6	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. I agree! Our views are aligned. And I agree. If either partner expected sex on demand, major red flag!	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/25 04:38 PM
4	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. It is only absurd to you because you haven’t experienced it and, apparently, can’t imagine having feelings that are different from your own. That’s sad.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/25 04:36 PM
8	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. While I think I agree with your overall sentiment, I think it goes beyond that: What I am trying to say (clearly not well enough! ;D ) is that historically women have been taught that sex is the duty of the wife, regardless of how she feels about it. Within that construct the man is “da boss” and the wife is “the underling”. He gets to tell her when she will or will not have sex…. If she doesn’t when he wants to, she is a “bad wife”. And, yes, historically men have done exactly as you posited — …	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/25 04:34 PM
5	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. I made the analogy to explain to you how resentful is not childish (as you stared), but a natural reaction to growing up thinking that it is your job to have sex with your husband. Many women have grown up with that message, although I am hopeful that this number is fewer now than in the past. Perhaps I didn’t understand your meaning, and I should have asked you to elucidate. I think you have a typo in there. The sentence doesn’t make sense. Sorry!	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/25 04:13 PM
7	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. They should expect an equal partner where they both understand that a marriage is not monolithic — it isn’t just about sex (or any other single aspect of life). For many people (especially women) the other aspects of the marriage have a large impact on how much they want to have sex. Being angry with your partner often puts on the sexual brakes— so men should understand that in order to take the foot off the brake, the other aspects of the relationship, be it anger, resentment, frustration need …	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/25 04:07 PM
5	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. That’s why it is good that the cultural conception of “marriage” is changing, so that it is no longer going to be analogous to a job. Men will no longer be the boss able to tell you that you are to have sex and women are no longer believing that they must have duty sex in order to maintain a marriage. It will take time, and until then, there will be women having duty sex and resenting it. (Btw, lower libido men also have duty sex, and they also resent it.)	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/25 03:45 PM
18	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. Not impossible. But is it MORE likely that she is thinking : “OMG! I really, really want sex. But, I am also angry at him, so I will not have sex, even though I REALLY want it, just to PUNISH him!” or is it more likely she is thinking “I am really pissed off, and NOW he wants sex??? What the hell is he thinking? I’m angry! I don’t wanna have sex with him!” I’m thinking the latter is 98% of women, and the first scenario is 2%. It isn’t that hard.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/25 03:39 PM
8	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. That assumes that when men get married they believe that they should be able to expect sex with their wives. Honestly, I think that if this is true for any given man they should either not marry, or go into any relationship explaining that they believe in ethical non-monogamy and finding a woman who believes the same. Otherwise it assumes that women must have sex regardless of how they feel.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/25 03:14 PM
7	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. Unfortunately, yes. Not so much the young adults today, but I am an old lady and “back in my day” ;) women were expected to have sex with their spouses — whether they wanted to or not.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/25 03:09 PM
18	The concept of women "maliciously withholding sex" makes no sense. That’s not true. The idea that sex is a given in a marriage means there is a cultural message both partners are to have sex — it is a duty. The situation is analogous to a job. There are elements of pretty much all jobs that we don’t want to do… but we do them because they are duties of the job. For many years the cultural expectation was that women were to have duty sex — give sex to their husbands regardless of whether or not they wanted it. Many women have had “duty sex” — even though they di…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/25 03:07 PM
3	You can't debate a person that doesn't care about romantic relationships. It sounds to me like you are a student of human behavior and relationships. I am too! We like thinking about the dynamics of paired relationships. He isn’t. He cares about the societal parameters of relationships (age of consent, legal issues, etc), but not the inner workings of them. You engaging with him about relationship issues is the equivalent of someone engaging me about the internal workings of different aircraft engines. I’d be like “I care about if it flys!”.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/07/25 12:47 PM
1	The “Nice guy” is a loser to most men. There is a wonderful little book, In a Different Voice, that talks about how men and women (in general) approach communication and relationships differently — not romantic relationships, but all relationships. It was published a while ago, and research has refined the concepts a lot, but it had some revelatory ideas for me back then. In general it showed how men tend to view relationships as hierarchical, while women tended to see them as webs. Like you, I was really surprised to be posited with…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/25 01:26 PM
2	Men are discouraged from approaching women they don’t know as well as discouraged from asking out women they do know. And some people are going to be upset if you serve red wine with chicken. 😉 The point is… if you structure your life so that you avoid anyone getting upset EVER you will be paralyzed. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone if they want to accompany you to a movie. If they get upset, they get upset. That is all about them, not you.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/07/25 12:46 PM
1	During sex, what's more important to you: Your orgasm, or the validation you receive when you inspire sexual desire in someone? Of those two, orgasm would be more important. But there are other things that are even more important to me than orgasm, like the ability to be fully vulnerable and “be known/seen”. I don’t feel like I can guess others’ motivations. I’m not going to knowingly have sex with anyone if I believe they are just using me as a convenient sex doll, but I know I can’t really know what is in anyone else’s head. To answer a question that you asked someone else, it appears to me that men are more likely to …	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/07/25 11:40 AM
0	Men are completely delusional about who their "equals" are. Excellent post!	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/07/25 11:14 AM
3	Men are discouraged from approaching women they don’t know as well as discouraged from asking out women they do know. A guy coming up to ME without knowing me would make me uncomfortable. But, I am aware there are some cultures where that is the norm. I suppose… well… when in Rome. I am not sure that the advice about not asking out people you know well is good advice. It is imminently reasonable to ask acquaintances out. You go to a friend’s house to play Go! and there is a girl there who you like and is nice to you. That sounds EXACTLY like a girl you should ask out. Same with girls you meet because you have j…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/07/25 06:13 PM
–	Experience in bed is a downside for men, not an upside Wow…. that’s… just wow….	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/07/25 08:16 PM
5	Love and sex is not a right Upon what are you proposing that love is a human right?	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/07/25 07:35 PM
1	The orgasm gap is because women genuinely need fantasy level attraction towards the man they’re having sex with and physical stimulation Huh? Nope. If anything, I just want “more” of what I have! My fantasies, when I have them, are about previous exciting encounters with my SO.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/05/25 03:48 PM