whatgives31 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? !Do you really believe there are no men who enjoy sexual conquest? Like, what was every war fought over? Helen of Troy? Anne Boleyn? Henry VIII? Don Draper? JFK? Bill Clinton? I could go on....! Seriously, this is really a nice thing that you are saying but it doesn't really reflect back on the RP philosophy, or the idea that men are inherently "alpha" or "beta," that everyone is AMALT and AWALT. Maybe a bit more like Atholl Kay, but ultimately sounds...a little beta. And that is ok!	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 04:56 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I felt like home equity was equally important. If I have a house payment when I retire, then what does it matter if I have retirement savings?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 04:50 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? also i used to be sole bw and work part time now so...i do know!	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 04:48 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? My husband is awesome but...he does not do all these things for me reliably :) Thus, self sufficiency and self love are good skills to cultivate.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 04:47 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Ok, this is my question. And I swear I am not being facetious: You want men in your life at all costs, even if it means applying a theory (RPW) that you may not always want to adhere to personally? So being RPW is the equivalent of a man who really wants a LTR instead spinning plates because he thinks it will be a better sexual strategy? Being RPW doesn't make you happy all the time personally, but if it improves your success with men, then it is the correct course of action? You unconditionally…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 03:40 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Most men would drop women all together if they could happily have successful relationships/sex with other men. I think the same can be said of women also! Also asexual reproduction would be necessary too :) Men want good lives with women/children in them. Most value that far more than any desire. Just ask any number of unhappy men who have stuck with terrible women. They aren't "desired" for a vast portion of their relationships but stick with it because they are so desperate for that comfort/go…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 03:36 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Can I say...I actually WOULD rather live in a Motel 6 than a mansion! Because Motel 6 means I get to travel, see the world, etc.? Mansion sounds like constant cleaning and housework. There are people who choose to live in tiny houses! There are whole TV shows devoted to them! I might not like to live in the SAME Motel 6 for my entire life. But this subtlety is lost in your argument.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 03:12 PM
-1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I don't see much mutuality/mutual vulnerability in TRP. Maybe in RPW there's the hope of mutuality, but RP is all about manipulating your alpha status for sex!	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 02:55 PM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Why does love have to be sacrificial?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:52 PM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Why not? Admittedly I had just woken up when I wrote it, so let me rephrase. It is basic psychology to understand that people choose their spouses because they have similar "issues." The relationship becomes the place where they work out those "issues." People with jealousy issues tend to pick out people with jealousy issues. We are attracted and repelled to the same things. It is a paradox at the center of human existence. Accepting this as true, it is not theoretically possible for my husband …	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:51 PM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? It is my opinion that passion comes from a certain amount of struggle. Meaning, for example, the jealousy that I have for my spouse is commensurate to the passion I can show him (yes I mean sexually). Same goes for him. I don't want a man who wants "a good life" from me! I think all people want to be desired. And I don't think RPW makes men desire women-- it makes them possess them, but possession quells desire. Sperm competition teaches us, as well as the behavior of toddlers-- as soon as you "…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:47 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Do you grant interiority to women the same way you grant it to men! i agree that TPR has some practical advice but much of it seems to presuppose a sameness in women that is confusing to me (that is, unless it can also swing the other way, AKA, AMALT and AWALT both). Even in this thread, I've mentioned that I value paid work and have been told I was brainwashed. Do all men believe that all women who desire self sufficiency are brainwashed? Are there any areas in which men are culturally brainwas…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 11:51 AM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Is this an acronym I don't know?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 11:46 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Also is it possible you don't care about the girls site because women who give men everything they desire are not that interesting? I find TRP fascinating because it uncovers the fundamental selfishness of men...it is like a train wreck I gawk at against my better judgement. For a RPiller where is the challenge in a RPW? Don't men love a challenge?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 11:44 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Does love requires possession at its core? Should I possess him or vice versa? Do you possess everyone that you care for?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 11:40 AM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? If work sucks then why do so many TRP people pursue the alpha male role which valorizes one's career? Gloria Steinem seems happy at age 80. She even got married at one point well past "The Wall." I'll concede that she may not be happy....but no one can know that other than her, surely? Why is economic self sufficiency selfish? My nuclear family is rare! But my husband and I, in our wisdom, built it. If also, in my wisdom, I know that paid work is important to me, should I not pursue that? So far…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 11:38 AM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Eh, RPW value marriage. So they will exhort me to improve mine. I also value marriage (a lot of people in this post are taking the divorce part of my post, which was a minor part, and exploding it...when what I really was going for was more discussion about gender roles and essentialism, but the bogeyman of divorce is too tempting in this community), but I don't believe that it is impossible to improve a marriage through repressing parts of oneself.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 11:31 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Honestly asking: what makes you think this about women? A lot of times I hear things like this, but I don't get it. Perhaps it is because I'm in a relationship, but I'm not at all afraid of being an "old cat lady."	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 11:27 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Ok, then explain it to me like I'm someone as dumb as rocks.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 11:24 AM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Basic psych 101: people pick equally mature people to marry and use marriage as a place to work on unresolved issues. There's no such thing as someone who doesn't have "issues." However....diagnosing someone is NEVER the solution....so you are correct there. You can't change another person. Either accept them or don't!	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 11:23 AM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I told myself this for years! But the resentment grew. Paid work is my life raft. Even my husband acknowledges he would be miserable as a stay at home parent, not contributing to the larger world or our finances. I'm a much happier mother when I am working. Does this make me unnatural? Do you believe that all working women miserable? And their kids as well? This feels too simplistic to me. No-one loves anyone unconditionally-- putting that expectation on your children is toxic to them! Modeling …	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 05:25 AM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I promise I'm not trolling! What part of this feels inauthentic to you?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 02:25 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Ok, let's say that I divorce my husband. And I am unhappy. But I know myself better, and can make better decisions going forward. Was it not worth it then? Ok, my language is self-victim. But repression of self-victim status doesn't make it go away! Truly most of the evils in this world are caused by the policing of people's feelings and urges. If I am to stay in my marriage, I must first wallow in my supposed victim status. Then come out of it. Like a phoenix. Does that make sense? Stoicism is …	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 02:22 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Why do you think I'm not genuine! Can I honestly say that is upsetting? What would make me seem more genuine in this conversation? What about me feels disingenuous to you?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 02:19 AM
-1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I didn't say that financial (perhaps lets say material) independence is necessary to be a human (lol!), but to be a fully authentic person. And as to your point about single parents, this is true...it is financially easier for me. But would a single mother not also want to be financially independent? I'm not sure your example doesn't actually reinforce what I said!	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 02:15 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Yes, this post is totally real! Can I ask you, why does it not seem real to you? Maybe that would help me best!	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 02:12 AM
-1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? This is great advice, but it sounds super blue pill! Just saying! Is blue pill the answer then? This sounds like a one way road to alpha town.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 02:10 AM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? This is a WONDERFUL response....but then again, your name says blue? So you are blue pill, yes? I feel like I came here for advice, but really I was more curious--ok when RP is put to the "test" of real life, does it hold up? Think of my experience as a test case. I will be honest and say that the RPers are really shaming me, and the BPers are being really practical. I have been doing a ton of personal work so shaming doesn't bother me, but is shaming women central to RP philosophy?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 02:05 AM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Honestly asking....why is it wrong to feel unfulfilled? For years I've tried to force happiness. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. Wouldn't pursuing happiness be a better path? Maybe you don't get it, but at least you know yourself better? How is RPW not a martyr position from the get-go? How am I a self-victim? This only works if you assume that a failed marriage is the worst thing that can happen to someone.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 02:01 AM
-1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I don't mind the questions. I don't love the assumptions! But even more than that, once you strip away all these nefarious intentions of woman, what is left? That's the essence of PPD. BP and TRP (and RPW) are extreme positions on the interplay between the sexes. I'm offering up my personal experience as a case study in hopes that a moderate position is more accurate. Call that trolling, call is selfish, call it advice-baiting, what have you?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:59 AM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I think it is fundamentally dangerous to be financially dependent upon a man. It means that if you are unhappy in the relationship, or unsafe, you have to defer to his judgement/money-doling-out in order to make change. For example, if I made money, I could choose to move and he could choose to follow me if he prioritizes the relationship that much. But if I do not make money, I am dependent upon him to do things AGAINST HIS BEST INTEREST AND IN MY BEST INTEREST. And nothing about trp or men's r…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:55 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? This feels like good advice. Tell me, why did it take 100+ posts and lots of mud slinging for anyone to express a moderate position on the war between the sexes?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:51 AM
3	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I don't think I dropped it! I merely said I'd rather have a spork than live a life where I only have a spoon and no fork. This is getting confusing.... What I mean is, a fully functional human being is not totally dependent upon another. Yes, emotionally, but not materially. The whole alpha theory seems to presuppose that women are happier when they are dependent upon a man, and what I'm saying is...this makes me LESS happy with my man. Thus why I brought this to PPD. Either I'm an anomaly/menta…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:45 AM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? This means you have fundamentally misunderstood family at such a profound level that no amount of internet debate can help you. Can you explain more? The more I learn of men, the less I trust them. Is this not the core of PPD? Profound mistrust between the sexes?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:42 AM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? You are probably right to an extent, but I'm not sure that being excoriated by other women is a step toward understanding myself better :)	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:37 AM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I think troll is really harsh!! I've tried to represent my situation honestly and take culpability for my faults. I may not being doing that as much as I can...I can only do so much at one time! If this doesn't represent the sub, then what does? Honestly asking. That was the point of my query....	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:36 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I think all people want to fuck a variety of people. But it is harder for a woman who is dependent upon a man to accept his sexual voraciousness. This is basically the fundamental unit of Blue Pill Philosophy.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:30 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? ....I've begged him many times! This is where TRP feels "right" to me. No man will change unless he has an internal desire to do so. AMALT.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:28 AM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? What is the alternative to the martyr attitude? Truly asking. Repression doesn't seem to work for anyone I know. I'm just talking from experience. This stuff ALWAYS comes out in the wash. In my opinion, the antidote to the martyr attitude is to not be a martyr anymore. But if that includes divorce, then suddenly I'm a bad person? I don't get it? I don't totally understand TRP obsession with the evils of divorce, and am starting to wonder if it represents some evolutionary insecurity in ether men…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:27 AM
-1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I will pay for my grad degree. I took out loans. My other degrees were paid for. I entered the marriage with no debt. There seems to be a thread here of people wanting to assume the worst of me, like: I want him to pay me alimony I want him to pay for my school I want to cheat on him I want to deprive him of his children I wanted a big,big, big house and was sad we sold it. All of this has been said about me, and all of it was inferred. None of these things are even remotely true. I'm bored stay…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:24 AM
-1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Maybe that is true, but you still didn't address the fact that, in a redpill world, it is dangerous to be vulnerable to a man!	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:20 AM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? To be fair, I've only been on this thread for like 3 hours! I may still take the advice! sheesh.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:20 AM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Epicetetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius predate evolutionary psychology by quite a bit of time... In an evolutionary psychology framework, the only basis for ethics would be "do no harm to me." How does divorce harm anyone? You are assuming my husband would be harmed by the divorce. I don't make that assumption. As far as my kids go, that is a different matter. Studies typically show that divorce sucks...but unhappy relationships suck worse.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:16 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Why? Honestly asking. This is PPD, after all. Why does TRP advocate variety for men and lifelong commitment for women? What, in a darwinian approach to life, does it mean to "deserve" anything?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:09 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Well, sometimes you need a fork! I'd rather be a spork with another spork! Complimentary is ok if you are ok with complete vulnerability. Where does "vulnerability" play into RP philosophy? All I've seen on trp is that vulnerability is a failing that men should excise from their life, and a failing that makes women vulnerable to manipulation.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:07 AM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Except us as people! It is possible to want more than to snag a guy and have kids with him! It is possible to want a wider engagement with the world...not necessarily sexually....is this the core of RP? The assumption that all women are satisfied by marriage and childrearing and that any other feeling is a mental illness?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:05 AM
4	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Ok, fair enough...so what should be the takeaway for women who have "swallowed the pill"?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:04 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I've worked from home before...trust me, it is isolating.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:03 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I dunno...all the women are saying is "more submission all the time." The men are actually giving me insight into the male psyche. Can you imagine how hard it must be to be totally dependent upon someone? Not just emotionally, but in every way? This is what RPW asks of women. I've tried it, and I don't understand how to make it work.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:02 AM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Is it more or less fair than making a lifelong decision that we have to be on the course of improving his career at any cost? Ultimatums, whether stated or not, are still ultimatums. Neither situation is "fair."	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 01:00 AM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? YES! You are right. I did all of this to try and make him want to improve the marriage. I have even totally changed my communication style. But it hasn't. This leads me to believe that I cannot change another person. And if I can't change another person, then why stay married to a person who will not change? Again, AMALT. AWALT. All men....want other women and put their careers before the well-being of their spouses? All men are conquest oriented, and get tired of and take their conquests for gr…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 12:59 AM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Wait, so men deserve to be players and spin plates, but a woman shouldn't consider other options? Goose, gander?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 12:55 AM
-1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? This is all great advice...but not in a red pill world, which represents such a dog-eat-dog mentality in relationships.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 12:54 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Yes, I agree. But how does this work with TPR? From what I've read of it, the social and biological MO of the typical man is to manipulate and control a woman. This seems to be the whole basis of TPR. So if that's the way men think, why should a woman want to be with a man? That's my basic question, which no-one has answered.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 12:52 AM
-1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? "Conscious uncoupling", "personal freedom", etc sound like code words for you wanting one last go on the cock carousel before your date with The Wall. Ok, but what is wrong with that? Seriously, for a philosophy that seems to value acknowledging what makes us animal and selfish, you are really putting a lot of onus on me to be more than a rational animal. I don't want money, just an identity that is separate from my husband's. An intellectual life or to contribute to the world outside of being a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 12:49 AM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? What is "good"? Seriously, TRP is supposed to be about acknowledging your lizard brain. Creatures guided by Darwin have no notion of "good." Where in that philosophy is "good"? And who gets to define that?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 12:46 AM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I agree with you....until the very end. In order to stop wallowing in self-pity, you also have to forgive yourself. For example, if I decided to end my marriage, I could agree that I am the cause of the dissolution of the marriage, and I could also agree that I need to solve my issues before I enter another marriage. Or I could agree that I never need to be married again (this might be true). But none of that is possible from a place of shame, self-hatred, or blame. Only when you forgive yoursel…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/15 12:44 AM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Honestly asking, what makes you sure I and my kids would be unhappy? I'm honestly wondering because I've been unhappy for ages, and denying it only entrenches it more.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 11:54 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I think I could be doing more! Especially since my husband is really killing it right now. I just don't want to be inferior to him? I don't want to be taken for granted.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 11:52 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? NPD is rooted in abuse and chronic neglect, not in putting a child first/second/third. This is basic attachment theory, psych 101. I'm trying not to be rude in this thread and am trying to acknowledge my faults here, but this is just not accurate. My mother was abused and neglected, thus she is NPD. She was neglectful toward me, thus I have some NPD traits (perhaps I am totally NPD, not sure).	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:51 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? My father was an abusive alcoholic and my mother was co-dependent. I agree that I have narcissistic proclivities...is the one of the first things you learn when you start going through recovery. It is something I struggle with every day. HOWEVER, paradoxically, the solution to these proclivities is radical self-love, because shame never heals a person. NPD is rooted in poor self esteem. So staying in a marriage that is bad for me would only make me more NPD.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:47 PM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I agree with this. Most women who I have talked to say to try harder....but at some point you're just so diminished that what else is left? Not being facetious...do RPW never hit their limit on giving?	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:44 PM
4	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I don't want out of the marriage, but there are social/cultural/financial/emotional issues that tie him to his job, and I can't pry him away from it. It isn't my job to change him.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:42 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Like I said, we live about 1 hr/ 1 hr 30 minutes from a large city where I would be happy to relocate. My dad used to drive way farther to pick me up for visitation. And since my husband and I are on good terms, I would be happy to relocate on the side of the city closest to him and meet him for pickups. Seriously I like him a lot, he's a great person. I just don't want to be married to him anymore.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:40 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Well, truth be told, I have been depressed and nearly suicidal for years, but it hasn't made him want to move. I have pursued many options for improving my communication style, libido, education, faith (joined his church), but it hasn't made him WANT to relocate even if that would be helpful for my mental health. This leaves me feeling that he is not willing to make sacrifices for me in the same way I was willing to make sacrifices for him. Which, in my research about men and women and marriage,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:38 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Ok. Let me see if I can get close to the source of my concern. When my husband and I met, we were both intellectual types. We would stay up hours talking about literature. Compete to get the best grades on papers. The competition and the mutual intellectual challenge fed our passion. Nowadays I'm a diminished version of myself. I can't keep up with him intellectually. I'm just always....around with nothing going on. How could I possibly compete with an unattainable, younger version of myself? He…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:35 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I've done a lot of soul searching. Reading this hurts, but I am learning how to accept my faults. I agree that failing in marriage is AWFUL. It is something I said I would NEVER do. But my husband is at his sexual/social prime. I would be the one who was most hurt by this! Also my husband is not paying for my schooling! No way. Never will. He pays his student loans and I will pay mine. I only chose a program that would lead to being able to get a job...I'm not a total idiot! :) Let me take time …	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:22 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I would prefer not? There isn't a lot to go around. Maybe a situation where we don't divorce until I have a stable job? We are happy together as a couple and co-parent super well.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:18 PM
4	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I do work out! I have lost 13 postpartum pounds in the last two months (fifty since my son was born). I am working on my second master's degree. I do part online/part commute. The internet leaves me feeling hollow. I mean, look at this thread! People can be mean :) I've begged to move but he just does not want to do that, and I'm not willing to ask him to compromise on his career unless he WANTS to. I compromised by moving here and it has made me deeply unhappy. I can't do that to another human …	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:17 PM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I haven't talked to my therapist about TRP...that's a good idea.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:15 PM
3	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I don't feel that I have an independent self. I don't begrduge him his robust sexuality, but I am threatened by the fact that he could literally ruin me with it, if only he took the notion to do so.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:15 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I'm ok with this going to asktrp, or askmrp but not RPW. I don't want the advice of a woman. I want the advice of men! It is their psyche that I believe it is key for me to understand.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:14 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I am intimated by this because I am financially dependent upon him. Which means that if he took a notion to act on his desires, I would be forced to stay with him, or possibly put my kids into peril by leaving him. I don't want other men. I just want to be independent so that his desire doesn't threaten me so much.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:12 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? We talk all the time abour how I would be happy going back to work if he wanted to change jobs and explore himself. He has some unresolved issues, though, that are preventing him from taking me at my word on this, and it isn't my job to change him. I have told him countless times that if he dislikes his job, all he has to do is let me find one. I used to be sole breadwinner when he was in school and I would be glad to do it again, but something is stopping him from taking me up on this offer and…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:11 PM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I agree! Question: is quitting the worst thing in the world? Dogged desire not to quit has kept me going for a long time, but it doesn't feel right anymore.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:09 PM
5	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? He does not want to be my whole life. But the conditions of our life have made it so. We moved here because it was a great career move for him. So much so that he could make a great life for himself here, if only I could adapt. I've been trying for five years and have joined churches, gone to therapy, gone back to school, dieted, had kids, worked part time....but I just hate it here. I feel spiritually, intellectually, and socially impoverished.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:08 PM
4	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I agree! But the social conditions of our lives together don't allow me to pursue what I want (namely a career). We live in a very geographically isolated and impoverished area with little to no growth or community. And everyone is very conservative. Any time I try to talk to someone about this, they just tell me to submit more....	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:07 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I deeply appreciate this advice...it is soothing! But in my defense, I really wanted to sell my house! I begged for years. I thought if we sold the house, he would open up to relocating, but he has not.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:05 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? We talk about it all the time! But he is at an impasse. Leaving his job is not an option for him.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:04 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? EDITED FOR DELETING PERSONAL DETAILS.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:04 PM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I agree with you! There's no doubt there's an element of noncommittal stuff coming into play here. But I'm not sure this marriage is the place where I need to be working this out.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:02 PM
3	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? We were fantasy playing! Extremely sexy but killed my self esteem.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:01 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I swear I don't have another man picked out! I have just always wanted to be "my own person" and really didn't realize how marriage would impede that. I foolishly thought that compromise could be reached. I will not lie, I see men and think they are attractive! But I would never imagine marrying someone else. If not my husband, then no-one. I'm not kidding when I say that I would prefer spinsterhood. I've been in a relationship with my husband since we were very young and I have seen that unless…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 10:00 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I am 6 months pp and have lost all but about 3lbs of pregnancy weight and am running regularly (albeit lack of sleep does not help). I would never leave my kids! But I also had an abuser alcoholic for a father and a narcissist for a mother and the last thing I want to do is to expose my children to that level of dysfunction. I agree that the "right" thing would be for me to stay, but I've seen what awful behaviors (narcissism, alcoholism) come from repression and poor self-worth, and I want no p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 09:56 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Can you explain more? I thought the evolutionary imperative for a man is to spread his seed? I swear I'm not trolling! But it just strikes me as more than coincidental that after two children, my husband suddenly expresses a desire to roam...doesn't that fit with the biological imperative?	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 09:47 PM
5	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I'm actually working on my second graduate degree...I commute 40 minutes (8 round trip) to my university and take online courses when I can. I had a baby in April and have lost 13 lbs in the last two months (I'm almost to pre-preg weight). But how can I compete with someone younger than me? Age never changes!	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 09:46 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? We actually do that....my older one is in preschool and I am working on my second graduate degree by commuting and taking partially online classes. But the quality of schools here is poor and I'm worried that I won't be able to use my degree because jobs here are limited. This area is very conservative, rural, etc., and I have a hard time fitting in here.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 09:44 PM
3	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I agree that I need to look more into myself. But some of the things I want (a job, namely, to continue my education....not possible when we are in such a geographically isolated and impoverished area) are not compatible with his lifestyle. He has a great job and he is set for life in an economy where that doesn't happen much. But for him to get that means a lifetime of unhappiness for me. When we met I didn't think that would be the case.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 09:42 PM
4	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? So are you really telling me that at the end of the day, RP is a sham? I mean, that's what I'm getting from this! That at some point you (not AMALT) and future-redschool (not AWALT) will find each other and sink into sexy marital bliss? But literally that is like the direct opposite of what RP teaches us! Perhaps it has been bad for me to take TRP at its word/as insight into the male psyche? Because when my husband admitted to wanting younger women, the first thing I thought was "Oh The Wall is …	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:41 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I've been working on my marriage for a long time now and recently our sex life has been amazing. I initiate far more than I ever did. We have tons of fun together. Better than ever! But part of that has been being vulnerable and telling each other stuff like....I want to fuck people who are not you...So when the sex is over, I can't help but be like, ok maybe this is something he wants to carry into life outside of our bed?	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:37 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Isn't there room for me to like this person, but acknowledge that marriage is not serving us well? That we are both diminished as a result? I love him, but I don't want to constrain him. Or myself.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:35 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Hey now, think about what you are saying! Do you have to be married to every person you like, find attractive, or think is a good person? It is the institution, not the person, that I am railing against!	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:35 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? He brings me a ton of value....he's funny and sexy and etc...but the marriage does not. Being geographically and time bound to another person is very difficult. We would be happier as friends, coparents, or even fuck buddies (we actually have a very great sex life....one of the things I did in order to try and help our marriage is get my sex issues resolved, and it has made life so much better, but still does not handle my core issues). But being geographically and time bound to each other is ki…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:34 PM
5	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I joined a church and it really didn't give me any clarity! We've talked about it over and over and over again. It makes perfect sense that he wants to be with other women! AMALT! It is human nature. Why would I ask him to hide that part of himself from me? I just would rather be alone than slowly become lesser in the eyes of someone. Honestly, the only thing that makes sense to me is TRP!! Doesn't TRP explicitly state that intimacy between men and women is somewhat of a sham? That we are using …	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:31 PM
1	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Also, I agree that I am not being more accountable. But what does accountability look like? I acknowledge that marriage was not the solution. But if compromise is not possible between us, then surely we are not doomed to mutual unhappiness forever just because we did not understand this at a young age? Society forces marriage on men and women. Surely a happy divorced co-parenting situation would be more "accountable" than the "suck it up forever" model. I mean this for both parties!	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:26 PM
4	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? You say that the "having young kids" part of life will end and I can pursue other interests.... ..but what about "The Wall?" I'll be well over my prime by then. I'm not saying that my "interests" are being with other men, but it is scientifically irrefutable that younger, more attractive women find it easier to get hired in the corporate world. At this point I am already competing with women who are 5-7 years younger than me.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:21 PM
3	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? What would it look like if I were to treat him more like a best friend? Truly I am asking? Have I said anything unkind about him?	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:19 PM
0	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? If I were going to leave my husband I would desire to be as financially independent from him as possible. As a ACOD, though, I think that I would want a more equitable visitation schedule. As for 401(k)....we sank it into home repairs after I quit my job to stay at home with our children! So sadly I don't have that anymore to give. EDIT: We don't own a house. We sold it last year at my urging because it was just too hard on our finances (we were house poor).	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:15 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I know this sounds crazy, but I don't want him to be tied down to me! His fidelity doesn't matter to me. I wouldn't withhold his kids from him. He's a wonderful dad, but I don't feel like being a second-best option to anyone, and I don't want to hold anyone back. I only expect the same in return.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:10 PM
4	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? But doesn't TRP directly advocate not falling into oneitis? All that sounds like hardcore oneitis claptrap!	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:05 PM
3	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? He is my best, best, best, best friend. We grew up together. I love him more than life itself. Which is why, at 30 something...I find myself with no life outside of what we've built together.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:04 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I know! See, the thing is...I agree with you! I mean this. Why not divorce so that both of us can be freer? I was solo breadwinner for many years so I understand his pain, too. My parents divorced and it wasn't the separation but the acrimony that hurt me. If my husband and I separated kindly, then why would it be a problem? I would be happy to support myself with no help from him. Me being at home is a compromise we both made. It isn't in my best interest to stat at home! I'd much rather be wor…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 08:02 PM
3	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? What would be a more neutral way of approaching the issue? Honestly asking.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 07:57 PM
8	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I thought that was the whole perogative of Red Pill-- that once you realize the "true nature" of women, you'll only want them for sex and not for companionship and certainly not for sharing a life together?	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 07:57 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I don't think it is better in RPW, because I tried that lifestyle and it didn't work....so why would I look to that lifestyle for assistance now? What I'm saying is that I think RPW is a false bill of goods and I don't think it makes sense to go into RPW and say that--that forum is not a debate forum. PPD is for debate. I made promises to that man, but I also fulfilled promises. I've been faithful, kept the home, etc. What is your grounds for saying that he "kept his"? If he's attracted to other…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 07:55 PM
6	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Can you explain, in a world where both sexes can earn/raise their kids solo, and even have happy friendly relationships with the people they parented with.... what are the benefits of romantic partners? Aside from sex? I'm not saying that facetiously!	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 07:51 PM
5	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Ok, this is interesting. I really like this reply. Thank you for being honest with me. Maybe now I can finally clarify my real question. IF TRP is "real" then what is the point in a woman trying to be with a man? Why not just MGTOW? But instead be a "WGTOW"? That's the PPD element of my question. If TRP is true then there can't really be true intimacy between a man and a woman, correct? Then, aside from sex, there's no real reason for men or women to seek each other out?	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 07:42 PM
2	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? Is there anything I could do to clarify? I tried not to be too specific but if I am being unclear, then I'd be glad to clarify. I'm in therapy, so I'm already handled on that side of things.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 07:38 PM
5	When the Red Pill happiness formula doesn't work? I definitely know why I'm unhappy: I need more personal space/more of my own money/my own career....but in the context of marriage it is difficult to solve those problems, because it usually requires some compromise from the other person. I don't want to talk too much about my specific, but because of my husband's job I am geographically isolated, so meeting my needs would require him to seriously compromise--ie, we would have to move, he would have to find a new job, etc. I do actually see a th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/15 07:32 PM