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View 1 post and 177 comments by whatprettygirlwhere on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
93

SEX STRATEGYwhatprettygirlwhere/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 06:06 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
104

I went outside my house in the afternoon one day to discover someone had written a creepy "admiring" note for me out front. It was written on the sidewalk, in permanent marker. I was mortified and scared. Spent days trying to scrub it off and weeks looking over my shoulder, waiting for some nut job to try to follow me into my home. This stuff is terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 05:22 AM
137

The last comment "you could ask anyone that". Um... yes. And we should all ask ourselves that. Why wouldn't you ask yourself what makes someone worth the time and energy you invest into them when you're romantically involved?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 12:42 AM
20

My morbid curiosity is going to get the better of me on this one, I can feel it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 12:24 AM
17

I think every woman has the potential to wise up, but it's not going to happen until she's ready. All you can do is model having high standards for how you expect to be treated. Maybe in time she'll start to think about what she's really worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 10:13 PM
40

I once was playing bangmaid for a guy who could not be bothered to even tell me what food he wanted when I was cooking and meal planning for him every single week. No suggestions at all. So I had to read his mind, research recipes, make the shopping list, do all of the prep and cooking, portion it out for the week, do the dishes and clean the kitchen - usually twice weekly. He resented me for not thanking him more often for working more than I did outside the home. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 10:07 PM
306

Your investment was worthwhile for the epiphany it gave you! Once you really internalize just how plentiful dick really is, you never settle again. This is why LVM fight so hard to lower women's standards. Because they know there is always another man (or 3,000!) right around the corner waiting to take their place. The ONLY way they stand a chance is to convince you that there isn't better out there, and that the first pang of loneliness means you're unwanted and will die alone. They have no str…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 09:56 PM
32

In my world, Men Make Dinner Day comes 4-5 times per week. Tf is this nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 09:48 PM
118

After 11 years, he was finally in the mood to actually plan the wedding, and then she just had to go and ruin it 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 09:38 PM
92

Probably! I am upvoting every goodbye post from a woman who has decided to give up on her trash boyfriend though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 09:33 PM
209

Today I discovered the sub Waiting to Wed. It's all for women waiting on their partners to propose or set an actual date after a long engagement. My heart breaks for them, putting off their own happiness for men who act like committing to them is a burden. 💔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 09:08 PM
29

He clearly was not the brightest bulb. Once he picked up a little potted cactus from the table at a restaurant and tried to bite into it. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 09:04 PM
44

He would be willing to overlook the fact that the mother of his child now looks like the mother of his child, if only she were as ashamed of her body as he is! Is it really so much to ask that she hate herself and apologize to him for being a woman?? I hate this man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 08:57 PM
188

If they aren't dragging his dusty ass down to hell it is not far enough. 🗑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 08:52 PM
49

Oh god, this gave me flashbacks to an ex who went off the deep end after we broke up and decided to buy a van to live in. We got coffee together a few months later to catch up and he had lost a lot of weight, looked sickly, and told me all about how the "only downside" of van living was that he didn't have cold food storage or a bathroom, so he was showering at the gym and constantly had stomach issues from eating whatever garbage he didn't need to refrigerate. But he was adamant that it was "to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 07:17 PM
13

Another testimonial! I'm sorry this dirtbag did what dirtbags do and treated you like an amusement rather than a person. Glad that you have FDS to help you from falling for it again or blaming yourself for his inadequacies. And thank you for sharing your experience. I think it's easy to fall into the trap of "my man is acting super shady, but he's not like all those other guys". We want to believe it because we are afraid of cutting our losses too soon. But that fear is baseless. Any man who tre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:02 PM
59

He's extremely respectful to the women in his life - relatives, friends, and co-workers. He holds women in high esteem in general. He's committed to his work, but not married to it. He takes pride in doing things well and improving his performance. He's got plans for his future and takes them seriously. He encourages me to succeed and will do anything in his power to help me accomplish my goals. When I am unhappy with something, we work it out maturely and compassionately. He makes my happiness …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:49 PM
37

Really sweet and thoughtful. I like this a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 05:52 PM
16

Get away from anyone who makes any sex act feel unsafe, expected, or unpleasant. I've been with men who made things I normally enjoy feel degrading or uncomfortable. I don't think it's about the specific acts, but about your partner's respect for you and respect for women generally. If blowjobs feel safe, pleasurable, and consensual to you then I don't think there's any reason to abstain from them with someone you feel comfortable with. Because a man who makes that experience unpleasant isn't so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 05:41 PM
17

Absolutely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 11:28 PM
3

I dated a man who spent years repeatedly and intentionally crossing my sexual boundaries resulting in trauma, which I told him I was experiencing. He was shocked when I later said there were things I didn't know if I could forgive him for, and he just had no idea what I could possibly be referring to. Why are women so mysterious!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 07:38 PM
253

A perfect example of why we don't give our time to men who treat anyone poorly. Find the guy who will help a stranger carry something heavy up the stairs. Life is long and sometimes even healthy relationships can go through rough patches after decades together. Don't set yourself up with the man who won't show up for you the second you hit a bump in the road.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 07:03 PM
4

There might be other services you can call. Can you look into domestic violence services in your area? They might have recommendations for you besides going to the police. I think your concern here is totally valid, I would also be hesitant to call the cops for these reasons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 06:29 PM
75

Yep! It's basically a law of nature. The one surefire way to get under a LVM's skin is to reciprocate what they give to you, not what you wished they gave you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 08:44 AM
53

Thank you so much for sharing this experience. I think it's incredibly valuable for people, especially the younger members here who might have less experience and equate money with value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 05:55 AM
43

A bookstore is not a date location. How do you even find yourself in that situation? Reminds me of being 15 and going on "dates" to the mall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 02:40 AM
28

In the past few months, the man I'm seeing and I have started planning a future engagement. I've given him my ideal timeline, and we've started looking at rings together. After sharing several with him, I eventually settled on which jeweler I want to go with and what kind of ring I want, plus details I want customized. All told, the engagement ring will cost about 5 times as much as the ring he first showed me. He loves mine so much he decided to get a band for himself that will match my engagem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 10:11 PM
5

One thing that has worked well for me is to try practicing gratitude. The way I do it, I find a reason to be grateful for the shitty situation. So when someone acts like a total ass, I (internally) thank them for showing me who they really are. I feel grateful that they aren't savvy enough to try and hide their worst traits, which allows me to keep myself safer. I thank myself for recognizing poor treatment sooner, and for staying vigilant. This practice hasn't helped me to totally overcome nega…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 08:42 PM
8

Hell yes! This is the kind of energy you love to see! Glad to see you out here expecting the best! 🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 08:27 PM
2

Recognizing these habits is a huge part of your own growth! You've got to see the patterns before you are able to break free of them, and I hope you're congratulating yourself on making progress! I think the part in the handbook about not letting ourselves get a crush on a guy is so helpful for overcoming this habit of fantasizing. It takes practice, but it's so important to learn to take that step back and say to yourself "I don't know this man, there's nothing to get so excited about".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 08:25 PM
1

I think these cases are important to keep in mind. Some men put the women in their families on a pedestal, and treat women they date or want to date like absolute trash. It's great to see someone with healthy family relationships, but we can't let it lure us into a false sense of security.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 08:22 PM
50

I think this is an important discussion to have to really nail down these terms. Maybe it comes down to the interpretation of the language we're using. I've always read "wife privileges" to imply those things you mentioned. Not that when you're married you automatically take on more than your share of the burden, but that you do those things at all. For example, I imagined you wouldn't cook for a man periodt unless it was a special occasion (as part of a birthday gift maybe) until marriage, at w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 06:48 PM
27

When I first started dating the man I'm currently seeing, he didn't text often. After a few dates, this came to bother me, and I expressed that to him. He really was not much of a texter. But when I told him what I needed, he apologized and he got better. He took my request seriously the first time. No excuses, no forgetting, no complaining. Contrast this with my last relationship with a LVM. After 5 years together, I would beg him to help me with something, remind him over and over again, make …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 09:46 AM
18

A man told me I "never have his back" because our politics differed slightly. Because in order to be a supportive girlfriend, I had to agree with him on everything. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 08:14 AM
6

Congratulations on escaping with your sanity intact. His controlling behavior would only get worse over time, and you will be so much better off without him. One piece of advice: to get over this faster, stop thinking of this creep as your ideal type. In order for that to be true, you would have to ignore all his bad qualities. It's the classic trap of "my boyfriend is perfect, but.." He had some qualities that were attractive to you, along with qualities that repelled you and ended your relatio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 09:01 PM
52

He can leave then. Fuck that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:52 PM
16

I hope you can put some of your fears about your future boyfriend to rest. A lot of people don't have healthy families, and the healthiest choice for them is to leave those toxic relationships in the past. You are a lot better off stepping away from people who continually hurt you than trying to make it work. The right person for you will respect you for the hard choices you've made and support you in safeguarding your mental health. If a partner can't do that after hearing about what you've bee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:49 PM
3

In my immediate family, most of the women have kept their own names upon marriage. I'm on the fence about it. Blending names hadn't occurred to me, so that's an intriguing solution. I don't want to hyphenate mine, but if he wants to hyphenate his, I'm good with that. I'm open to changing mine because I wouldn't mind a more formal break from my family, a fresh start for the rest of my life. But blending would accomplish that as well, so you've given me something to think about!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 06:19 PM
20

Quick question. What in the world is an aspiring housewife? You want to stay home but still have a job, or you aren't even married?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 01:07 AM
3

This is just someone's roleplay for internet points. 😪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 07:56 PM
2

If you say the lies louder, maybe they'll become truths!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 05:21 PM
18

Mortifying. Do you think at any point they will come to understand that getting a man is not the issue? Like, yes of course you got picked, sweetheart. This is a man we do not want. A man who expects you to humble yourself, put yourself second in your own life, forgive his transgressions, do his emotional labor, never ask him to compromise, have his children, raise them by yourself, and never whisper a word of his flaws to anyone is not a catch! Those men are everywhere! They would wife a damn v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:44 PM
81

This is so right! My mother had men chasing her into her 60s, despite having zero interest in them at that point. My friend's aunt found the love of her life at 60 and now they spend their time traveling the world together and being just the most beautiful couple. Of all the myths and lies I fell for, this wasn't one. Any woman can find herself a man at any time. The trouble often lies in trying to keep them away from you, not in luring them in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 02:19 PM
62

I get how FDS might not be everyone's vibe. That's fine. But criticizing us for being too big when we hype ourselves and eachother up is just sad. Let women live. Let us celebrate our goddamn victories. If learning to live and love better isn't a big deal to you, just move along. If a woman breaking a cycle of heartbreak and disappointment in her own life is not worthy of praise, don't feel obligated to give any. If you don't have any interest in encouraging women to break the chains of codepend…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 02:01 PM
19

It is 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:56 AM
58

Men like this literally have no idea what else that word could mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 02:09 AM
4

Saving this post. Well said! I'm trying my hardest to teach my pre-FDS friends this lesson.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 12:57 AM
15

There really are! We've decided to make our rowboat picnic a monthly event. Anyone who doesn't want the kind of romance that you want is just weeding themselves out so you don't have to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 09:03 PM
4

I'm really glad to be able to shed some light. This particular revelation was a big one for me, and once you internalize it it is so much easier to move on from low-effort relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:05 PM
21

This is a gut punch of honesty. Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 07:51 PM
13

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ I'm here for this honesty. Preach!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 07:49 PM
12

This is a beautiful response. Well put!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 06:40 PM
130

Unless he surprises you with something romantic for the weekend, you already know where this is going. Wanting a partner who is thoughtful and romantic is not entitlement. Someone expecting to be able to keep you without putting in effort is entitlement. This isn't enough for you, and that's all that matters. Even if he wasn't ready for the proposal, there are plenty of things he could have done that made you feel special right now. If this is how he celebrates one year, do you really expect his…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 06:38 PM
2

Thank you for the recommendation! I'll add it to my reading list asap. And thank you for using one of your spoons to help. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 11:05 PM
1

Thank you! This is really helpful advice. I think finding ways to talk to my partner about receiving oral with the focus taken off of reaching orgasm will really help me to actually relax over time with enough practice. The vicious cycle is exactly what I've been experiencing. The anxiety creates more anxiety, because you're expecting to feel anxious, and then find yourself thinking and worrying about that instead of enjoying it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 04:57 PM
3

Thanks for this, I think you're right that the best way to overcome it is just to continue to try. I've got a partner I trust, who always prioritizes my pleasure and comfort. I think that's why this is coming up for me now, after a year together. In past relationships I was happy to keep avoiding it because there wasn't real safety there. The specific anxiety is honestly hard to pinpoint. I think it's a jumble of various things that lead to racing thoughts ranging from "I hope I shaved well enou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 04:21 PM
3

I've long been considering a clit piercing anyway. You've given me a lot to think about 😶
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 02:14 AM
4

That's a great foundation to build on! Sometimes all it takes is realizing you can implement the skills you have in a new way. Learning to apply mindfulness in dating made it so much easier to spot red flags and avoid unnecessary heartache. It also really helped me once I got into a relationship to keep from doing too much even though I feel like I'm in love (something I used to really struggle with). I'm able to internally take a step back and say "I've given my share and now it's time to sit b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 06:23 PM
15

The best advice I can give is to practice mindfulness. Get in the habit of noticing your thoughts, then letting them go without getting worked up about them or obsessing on them. There's lots of free resources on mindfulness online, just do a search and try out a few that could fit into your lifestyle (some people want a book vs an app vs a podcast, whatever). You don't have to be an expert on it or dedicate yourself to a lifetime of quiet meditation in order to get this skill down enough to mak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 05:51 PM
13

They have no other place to hide. There are enough women able to outsmart and outmatch LVM like these that they have to fall back on physiology in order to defend their belief in their own superiority. They've got nothing to offer besides sideline commentary that they could "probably" do a physical task better than a woman who actually did that thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 08:24 PM
6

Sounds like a lot of members here got a random dm for the first time in the last day or two. I just deleted mine without opening. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 01:53 AM
58

I love this. Actual concern for his partner and an effort to show appreciation and care. Why is this not the norm?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 12:04 AM
42

"I stalked 200 profiles trying to prove to myself that these women aren't my type because it's such a non concern for me. You can tell how much I don't care by how much of my free time I invest obsessing over strangers who want nothing to do with me. " Ok sweetheart 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:11 PM
27

Finding a way to be entitled to the bodies of women in pornography then crying on the internet about it. What a specimen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 05:17 PM
23

"I have done everything in my power to destroy your self-esteem and ruin your life. But it's really important to me that we stay friends." What a narcissistic, delusional trash bag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 04:44 PM
277

It's a cope for men. They need to believe that any woman they don't have a chance in hell with wasn't good enough for them anyway. It is exactly the same mentality of men who will try to hit on you on the street, then turn around and call you an ugly bitch once you reject them. It's just immaturity and a desperate need to believe that they aren't the ones who are inadequate. "You can't fire me! I QUIT!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 04:38 PM
1

Mission accomplished! 🎆 🤣🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 04:32 PM
158

That sub is such a dumpster fire. My favorite(?) part is how they have to aggressively attack any woman who tries to pull them out of their pity party by expressing her own enjoyment of smaller penises. They hate women who don't want them because of their size, but somehow seem to hate women who do want what they've got even more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 11:06 AM
4

It's just so disingenuous. We all know how these men look down on the women who ask for nothing, set their standards to zero and the bar underground, the real ride or die women who bail their man out of jail and raise their kids with no financial or emotional help- all for love. They mock and belittle women like that. They call them trashy. They insult their intelligence. These women act like literal saints when it comes to these men, always forgiving and forgetting no matter how many times they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:23 AM
264

Men spend all of their time talking publicly about their physical preferences in women. Can you imagine if we took time out of our days to personally message every single dude who had a preference that we didn't fit into?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:50 AM
14

You love to see it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:22 AM
35

100% this. I am very flexible in terms of who leads in a relationship, as long as it's a functional, healthy dynamic. I spent too long with a man who wanted to "lead" but didn't know where to, how to get there, or where to even begin. But of course his male ego was too fragile to let me lead, so we got absolutely nowhere. I now know that being the leader is a spot you earn through competence, commitment, and consistency. If a man thinks he can lead better than I can, he is welcome to prove it wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 09:24 PM
7

Same in codependency groups, sadly. It's such awful, predatory behavior that can be really suffocating and discouraging for women trying to better their lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 05:14 PM
61

I cannot wrap my head around how in the world you find a way to turn "husband jerks off while his infant child watches, making wife fearful and uncomfortable" into "abused man shamed and attacked for his sexual urges".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 07:26 AM
1

Thank you. It's been smooth sailing so far! Here's hoping he keeps it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 11:51 PM
4

Apparently I have been waiting for this thread because this response is long. 🤣 I am wary of assigning HV status until I'm past the altar, because I've seen so many women see their "wonderful boyfriend" transform into a manipulative creep once he feels comfortable. I am in a happy relationship with a man I have only ever experienced as HV throughout our friendship and eventual relationship. But I am determined to stay vigilant and not let my standards slip or my guard down. I do think that keepi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 10:12 PM
10

Exactly right. It's emotional incest and a really sick form of abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 06:38 AM
56

"Today I matched with a HVM on Tinder..." 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:33 AM
2

This is such an important insight, and one I wish I'd learned much earlier!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:12 PM
23

Past me is feeling extremely attacked rn. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:06 PM
14

What did he even think he was saying here except that most men are terrible?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:05 PM
13

I think about this all.the.time. What a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:02 PM
27

What did he even think he was trying to do here? It's a yikes from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:01 PM
63

Sometimes we have to prove it to ourselves to really change up the mindset. If this is what you needed to get the allure of the LVM out of your system, it was worth it. Remember the lesson for next time and keep your head up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 10:57 PM
8

One thing that helps me with this, is remembering where it comes from. People who are happy with themselves and their place in life aren't trying to bring other people down. But if just your existence is so threatening to them that they need to make negative comments to try and knock you down, they must have really low self-esteem. When I keep that in mind it's easier not to take those comments to heart. I end up feeling more sorry for them than offended, and then grateful that I have chosen to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:43 PM
14

I'm glad she documented this disaster. Hopefully it'll be a good reminder not to fall for this nonsense ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:29 PM
6

You deserve a relationship with someone who isn't willing to set you aside to go brood over someone else. This behavior is unacceptable. He wants to go pout over another woman while you wait around for him to decide if he cares enough about your relationship to interact with you again. That may sound harsh, but that's where things are at right now. No man is worth this. He does not respect you, and without respect there can't be real love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 09:59 AM
22

They do it to set expectations low immediately. They do less than nothing, then see who is willing to engage with them at that level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:43 AM
7

The way to tell is how the relationship opened in the first place. If they started out monogamous, it is almost always that they opened the relationship because the woman was pressured into it over time. If they were both looking for that before they got together, then it's just preference or not wanting to be tied down. The hilarious part is that men often push their wives or girlfriends into opening the relationship, then they're appalled that they aren't getting the same amount of attention t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:59 AM
68

I'm sure this emotionally abusive monster who she has to live with has not contributed to her stress eating at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:58 AM
5

Thank you for this! The trap I found myself in before learning how to level up, was that because the partners I chose for myself were better than those of the women closest to me, I thought they were good. I saw the women in my life set the bar on the ground and I thought, "I know better than that. I'll set it at knee height!" like that was a big improvement. I had a false sense of security because I avoided those other mistakes. Instead I just settled for crumbs instead of nothing at all. Since…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:36 PM
12

Just tell him you aren't interested in continuing your relationship, then block and delete. All of the details around what's been going on only illustrate why you should break up, not what you should do. Which is end it unambiguously, make no space for him to try and bargain with or convince you, block and move on. Don't feel bad because he doesn't feel bad about the ways he's let you down. He doesn't feel bad about expecting you to work while he plays video games all day. He doesn't feel bad th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:16 PM
17

The entitlement of this kid! It is incredible how differently he turned out from your husband. I'm glad he's standing up for you, that is exactly what every man should do in these situations with family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:45 PM
6

I am glad you found FDS since even your therapist fell for that nonsense! It is amazing to me how insidious misogyny is in every part of our society, to the point that even women professionals spout it like the gospel truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:41 PM
3

His wife needs to run screaming from this man with her daughter in tow. This is absolutely awful. What a horrible excuse for a father.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 09:31 PM
4

Short answer: No Long answer: No! Nope. Nooooo. Fucking no. Nah, sis. Nuh-uh. Absolutely not! Under no circumstances! Never! NO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 08:19 PM
91

If you're ever in that situation again and feel too uncomfortable to straight up walk away, sip on your drink and nod politely to his dumb bs, then when you're ready, announce that you've got to go as you've got plans for dinner and you're feeling just starved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:58 PM
16

This is something I've started noticing more with a long time friend of mine. If we are around guys she needs to puff up about her own qualities and accomplishments while "subtly" putting me down in "jokes". She is not like that at all unless there's dick in the room, but still expects me to console her whenever she gets her heart broken. Again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:33 PM
14

When he kept referring to anything I needed emotionally as me "acting like his wife". He abandoned me during a panic attack to watch sports, and got annoyed if I needed emotional support at all in trying to do something emotionally difficult or scary that he had asked me to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:15 PM
90

If he has to be dragged, leave him behind is powerful for me. It's tied with 'If he wanted to, he would'. Those two concepts really clicked something in my head and gave me what I needed to stop doing so much for men. Oh, you don't care enough to address my needs? I will not beg or "convince" or cry for that ever again. I will explain what I need one time. If he does not willingly and gladly step up, he does not want to. And why drag him to where I need to be? That is dead weight that I can't af…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:07 PM
2

I see what you're getting at as far as your focus here, regarding practical concerns. I want to reiterate though: It does sound like you need to try and delete the crush from your mind before trying this. You're talking about him as a HVM, which isn't a pre-first-date assessment. Yes, you know him, but how many people do we see "shocked" that men they've known for 2, 3, and 4 decades turned out to be monsters? There's no reason for you to defend him here. Just treat him like anybody else in your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:55 PM
32

A few years ago I was talking to some male neighbors about some creep who had been catcalling me. These two grown-ass men, one of whom has an adult daughter, tried to suggest I not leave the house without a man. I am a woman in my twenties in a city. In what universe do they think I reside, where I should expect to never leave my home unless accompanied? It is fucking wild how little they think about the garbage they spew out as "advice".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 04:40 AM
85

I have had old men try to hit on me by telling me I could watch their big flat screen tv. My geriatric prince has finally come to sweep me off my feet! 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 04:09 AM
31

I would reread the handbook and be really clear on your own lines and boundaries. The main point is: don't make exceptions for him because you know and like him. Don't let him get away with anything or treat you casually. "Friend mode" is different than "date mode" and there's no reason for you to be self conscious about that. I would also take stock after the date in a journal or something. Sometimes when there's chemistry you find yourself overlooking flags or crossed boundaries in the moment,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 03:44 AM
16

The absolute maximum for me is 2 days, assuming there was the expected "thanks for a nice evening" message immediately following the date. If he hadn't even sent that, I'd be out after 24 hours. If he's not excited to see you again, don't waste more time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:37 AM
19

Honestly women end up doing the bulk of the heavy lifting for relationships they aren't even a part of. How often are we called on by male friends or friends' boyfriends to do the date planning... for dates we don't go on. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:32 AM
6

Please don't worry about being too "boring". Relationships that suck the joy out of your heart are what make you boring. Once you aren't wasting all of your precious energy taking care of a man who does not even appreciate the effort, get ready to fall in love with yourself again. If you calculated how many hours you spend on him in the average week and spent that time doing anything that you enjoy, I guarantee you will feel a lot less boring. You can do this. You don't need a reason other than …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:22 AM
4

This woman does not like or respect you, and there is no point in trying to save that friendship. It sounds like she is putting you down to justify her own choices and try to feel better about them. With that attitude, it's no surprise to me that she's fallen in with that particular political crowd. You can't bring back the friend she used to be or talk her out of being a jerk. You can't even convince her that her own need to put you down is really just projection on her part. She sounds deeply …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:58 AM
10

You already know he's a LVM or NVM. The resentment you feel for him is so clear in your writing, and you are fully justified in feeling that way. Whatever support he has shown you in the past can't be justification for constantly disrespecting you, your work, and your emotions. I also don't believe that he really thinks the anger is cute. To me it sounds like he is intentionally forcing you into a place of submitting to his "affection". He is neutralizing your anger towards him to invalidate you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 08:45 AM
12

Good on you for blocking him. He wants to continue to benefit from having you in his life, despite having already messed that up the first time. He misses what you brought to his life but he wasn't willing to make sure he was bringing enough into YOUR life. You deserve better than that. He says he's changed but he's still hitting up exes even though it makes his new partner uncomfortable? Doubtful. Keep him on block this time and keep leveling up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:44 AM
23

It is amazing when you start to realize how little you've been settling for. "He writes in full sentences!" "He didn't comment on my body!" "He reads what I write and can retain that information for more than 5 minutes!" "He didn't call me a bitch for not responding immediately! 💕" Your instincts are getting stronger and I'm glad you're celebrating that fact! Soon your spidey senses will be unstoppable!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:25 AM
28

This is so depressing. Whyyyy are they like this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:02 AM
16

Congratulations on dodging that bullet and seeing through the tomfoolery! Exercising your boundaries and refusing to accept the bare minimum feels great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:51 PM
22

I found out last night that a man I've been seeing has a college fund set up for his baby niece. Neither of us want kids, but I really appreciate that he values the women in his family like that and wants to provide for the next generation. For myself, I've recently returned to school to finally pursue my degree. Starting last year, I've been on a mission to level up and really take it seriously. Getting that degree is my next big step and I'm feeling so energized about it! I have a really clear…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:40 PM
3

Love this energy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:23 PM
24

This makes me sick to my stomach - it's exactly the same as abuser mentality, "I've got to protect you from people like me". What a nightmare he's putting her through. An actual monster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 08:43 PM
97

"He said it wasn't about sex" This is a lie. He is lying to you. He is using the guise of being "concerned" about you "leading him on" in order to guilt trip you into sex. That is manipulative and shady and he is not acting like someone with your best interest in mind. He has no right to pressure you if you are uncomfortable for any reason. If he cares so little about your comfort before you even sleep with him, I can't imagine it will be a good experience anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 04:42 AM
25

They really think they're "too good" to pay for sex when they have so little to offer they have to actively lie to strangers to get them into bed for a single, unsatisfying night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:32 PM
7

He's just showing off how absolutely disgusting his shoes are. Honestly looks like he found them abandoned somewhere. Not even Goodwill would accept those.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:19 PM
2

Exactly. He wants to date younger women and needed to find a convenient excuse for pursuing them. Lots of women never settle down and like it that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 07:22 PM
4

An absolute waste of space. 🗑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 04:41 AM
197

Does your mom offer coaching sessions? 🤣 She's amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 08:21 PM
21

YES. What in the world. Nice is one thing. I like nice people. I like to think that I am a nice person- but this is something else. Please reread the handbook and work on your boundaries with people. Offering to help someone out like that should be reserved for the people closest to you, who have proven themselves to be worthwhile. That's for close family and years-long friendships built on love and trust. That is for committed long-term relationships (or possibly just marriage). If you show up …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:30 PM
52

Just change your mind. You don't owe him anything. Any dollar you spend on him is a dollar not going towards you and your babies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:18 PM
25

WHAT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:10 PM
33

I think this man seems emotionally abusive. Attempting suicide as a way to force you into being with him should set off a ton of alarm bells. Threatening violence in order to force someone to be with you is a form of abuse, no matter who the violence is against. I don't know anything about the project you're working on with him, but if it is feasible for you I would recommend just cutting your losses or finishing it without him. He has already shown a willingness to escalate these attempts and i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:10 PM
59

I am so sorry because this whole situation is a mess. He is absolutely using you as a free pet-sitter. Even my friends of many years pay me if they expect me to look in on their animals while they're away, and I'm sure as hell not doing 9 days. The only person who gets that service for free is my sibling. Once you've gotten his dog back in his custody, please never speak to him again. Otherwise... 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:01 PM
108

There is no reason to be dog sitting for someone who you've been dating for two weeks. That's a serious favor, something people usually pay money for! He's abusing your kind nature, and he does not deserve all this effort. The fact that he had the audacity to ask this of you in the first place, so early into dating, was a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 06:48 PM
4

I think this is great advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 05:50 PM
37

Reddit.. is not inclusive to men???? Reddit. I am flabbergasted. What app is he on? I've been on the wrong Reddit this whole time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 05:18 PM
3

Thank you for this important reminder!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 04:09 PM
2

You've hurled accusations at me in each response, which doesn't encourage pleasant conversation. Refusing to engage with that energy is not an excuse for anything. I like talking about my relationship. What I don't like is the way you've spoken to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 09:56 AM
4

You're jumping to a lot of conclusions here. None of the things he's given up have anything to do with "himself". Not included in my post: the entire rest of his personality/life/hobbies. I talked about one thing relevant to what was on my mind, and you filled in the blanks in your head. I am not into online confrontation. If you want to chat respectfully without the accusations, I'm up for that. Otherwise, please move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 09:45 AM
5

I don't think that's a fair read of what I wrote, but ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 09:30 AM
3

They are out there. The number one thing I will reiterate to anyone who will listen is you cannot convince a man to do it if he doesn't want to. No amount of persuasion or kindness or rule-setting will change his priorities. Hold out for the ones who want to do this for you. Everything else is just a waste of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 06:09 AM
19

It is amazing how quickly the angry men who peruse the relationship subreddits respond to any criticism of behavior they themselves engage in. Like, any small voice disturbing their echo chamber is too much for them to handle. Like, the OP brought up porn addiction specifically but dude felt personally attacked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 04:41 AM
4

Congratulations on finally blocking him! It's so important to trust your judgement enough not to fall for the same trap again. You already saw what he was bringing to the table and it wasn't up to snuff. Next time won't be better. The next time is never better with exes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 04:26 AM
3

Find a way to disable messages from people not on your friends lists on all your social media. Reading and responding to his messages, even to turn him down, has become part of the "game" in his mind. I had a guy like this in my life. He found me over and over again for years online. But after the first time I just stopped responding in any way. As soon as I spotted him, it was a block. No conversation, no telling him to leave me alone, just silence. He hasn't bothered me in 2 years because I di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 04:13 AM
13

This week, I had one conversation about videogames with a man I'm seeing, stated my honest opinion without asking for anything - because I shouldn't have to, either he gets it or he doesn't. A few days go by and he asked permission to give me control of his gaming accounts (which he has put enough money into that he's not about to start over). I have been very cautious in this relationship because we started dating under unusual circumstances and I don't want that to allow my standards to slip. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:06 AM
99

Literally just written by a man, one handed 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 02:25 AM
5

You can't ever go back. That potential you saw in him is a reality in the person worthy of you. There is no amount of changing an ex can do that will actually fix the problems. He messed up the first time, let him go level up without you if that's what he wants to do, but don't put yourself through the disappointment again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 10:41 PM
3

Dudes get so mad about women refusing to accept the least effort that they are out here writing whole fanfics about men they've never met in order to convince themselves that the successful woman is the real loser here. This is so embarrassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:27 PM
18

Lmao. This is the process. 🙏🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:58 PM
34

For the first time, I'm with someone who always talks about sex in the opposite way. When he does use the word fuck, he describes it as me fucking him. Every time. I remember the first time he said that, I almost had to do a double take. It was really a perspective shift for me, and honestly made me feel more confident sexually. I like that he doesn't talk about me as an object upon which sex happens, but as an active participant in control of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:56 PM
12

That is what I always ask myself with this nonsense. Do they know they don't have to be here?? If you're going to put 0 effort into your profile, then act like you're taking the damn census once someone actually wants to talk to you.. just go back to your videogames, bud.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 06:14 PM
37

"I have a boyfriend of about seven and a half months and he's the most wonderful guy I've ever met" 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 This wonderful guy getting so angry and defensive that her friends got uncomfortable with the rude jokes he was making is definitely a good sign. Clearly he's well-adjusted, compassionate, and able to see things from other people's perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:29 PM
56

This right here ⬆️. He is making you paranoid and jealous with his weird behavior, then making you feel insecure for ever questioning his actions. What he's actually up to when you aren't around doesn't matter. You feel bad in the relationship - just go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:21 PM
49

He's out to protect women from dragons. He must be doing a good job, not one woman he's cheated on has been eaten by a dragon!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:58 PM
79

I love how they think throwing women under the bus is such a fucking concept. Like we're literally living under patriarchy and they're like "has anyone ever considered.... blaming the women?!?!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:55 PM
30

That's literally the scrote's dream 🙄. Congratulations on leveling up your mindset and getting away from all that mess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:49 PM
31

100% block worthy. He's playing games and isn't worthy of your attention. Bet once you start ignoring him he'll finally "remember" to show up. But he's already shown his true colors, move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:40 PM
165

Lmao. "Let me explain why it isn't my fault I ain't shit." Please. Meanwhile I'm sure he won't accept a woman seeing other men because that's "unnatural". Uh huh. These men love open relationships unless it's equal and consensual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:36 PM
84

Wow. Straight up saying he's unwilling to talk about anything he doesn't want to hear. Block this clown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:32 PM
8

That is a really thoughtful and well-considered review, thank you! I'll definitely add it to my watch list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:07 AM
7

I haven't seen this yet but heard about all the misinterpretation when it came out. In your opinion, is it worth seeing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 01:47 AM
9

Gus is one of my all time favorite characters tbh. One of the highlights of that series.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:30 PM
38

Tbh I really don't like Skylar, but not because I think Walter is the good guy. I just think she's a really poorly written character, who had so much potential to be interesting, to have agency. The thing that I didn't like about Skylar was how obviously she was written by men. But of course, talking about any of this nuance with men is impossible, because they mostly hate her because she's not a cool girl stereotype eager to join the meth business with her sociopath husband. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:28 PM
42

Came here to say this. Pulp Fiction lovers are the most basic, dull, misogynist jerks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:29 PM
21

I love watching his shows at home just to see him interacting with her off screen. It's so cute how hard he tries to make her laugh once she starts giggling, like she's literally the only audience he has. My whole heart 💗😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 06:36 AM
39

Basically he drew up a contract for domestic slavery. If she leaves him for any reason, she loses her home, her kids, and is destitute. What an absolute monster. I hope he gets the years of therapy he so desperately needs, and stays far away from women, who he obviously hates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:40 PM
60

"Funny you should ask, I actually AM a lying piece of shit!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 03:35 PM
1

I swear we could be describing the same woman if it weren't for the beer 🙄. The way I've come to view these diagnoses is more like a roadmap for what steps to take to best care for yourself and get the assistance you need, or to increase awareness of destructive behaviors and other warning signs. It can't just be an excuse for being an asshole to those who love and support you. Some people with BPD manage it responsibly and work to improve (in the way all of us should be doing anyhow). Some peop…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 11:50 AM
1

It was at the very least super toxic. I think that kind of dynamic is often overlooked or minimized when it's a friend rather than a partner who is mistreating you. Congratulations on dropping your abusive ex and garbage friend! Walking away from bad situations is a huge self esteem boost that will continue to pay dividends into the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 11:31 AM
5

She sounds like the most dangerous kind of pickme. All of that is so mean spirited and manipulative. She's jealous of your figure and wants to shame you into eating more. She thinks more feminine-seeming activities aren't attractive to men, so has to devalue your interest in them in order to position herself as better than you. I had a friend who was just like that - constantly negging other women or trying to force them to conform to her own views. Our entire friend group dropped her eventually…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 05:34 AM
59

"The reason I preach #Christianity is to control and shame women's bodies and sexual behavior" Shameful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:37 PM
48

This is a legitimately terrifying perspective. Like, they won't make themselves into people they think are worthy of good partners, so they now have a built in excuse for disrespecting any woman who is even attracted to them in the first place. How do you type that out and not immediately realize it's insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 05:05 PM
2

Just because up until I found FDS that's how I would've defined the relationship. It's been in learning more here that I'm reassessing this whole mess. And yeah, LV for sure. Also a HVM wouldn't need to assert control by repeatedly crossing my boundaries. I knew I wasn't happy, but reading the handbook and posts here is helping me to totally switch my thinking and realize that it's time to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 04:49 PM
2

Last night, while watching some true crime, I casually mentioned to my bf that "all men are going to lie to you when you start dating. 100% of men will lie" and he just thought about it for a quick second and fully agreed that that is the case. We've been together a long time in a situationship. FDS is giving me the inspiration and strength I need to plan an exit strategy and get out of this. I know this man has lied to me before, and I'm certain there are still things he's done that I don't kno…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:07 PM
16

Ditch this guy. He is the "nice guy" waiting for you to decide that he was The One all along. He does not care about your friendship. If you got married to someone else next week, he would bitterly cut you out of his life for not "giving him a chance". That's not a friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 04:59 PM
1

Same here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:17 PM
17

His relationship with his wife is so inspirational. He is so obviously head over heels in love with her. Any time you see them interact, it's clear he never stopped trying to woo her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:43 PM
8

I pity any pickmes who fall for that sad boy shtick. "If only I could find a woman able to appreciate the beauty of our natural world 😢💔" Like yeah ok, I'm sure that nature walk DOWNTOWN was going to be an enchanted experience filled with woodland creatures. How are they not embarrassed to be this way, my god.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 04:27 PM
3

A whole year and zero growth or self awareness occurred. A whole year and he is still pretty sure that the reason you didn't want to walk around with his lazy ass in the first place was because you didn't grasp just how magical that experience would be. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 03:54 PM
9

This guy is not your friend. A friend would take your answer at face value. He does not care about your comfort or what you want, as evidenced by him putting pressure on you to change your mind. Block him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 07:03 AM
45

Lately I have been really enjoying movies about strong female friendships, especially classics like The First Wives Club. Romcoms are usually so simplistic in their understanding of happy relationships, or even idealize the concept of building men up into HVM through the woman's effort. Like, I'm good on that, thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 09:19 PM
8

This man is not eager to commit to you in the way that you're eager to commit to him. It sounds like he's trying to "keep his options open" while dating you, in case he decides he wants to pursue someone else. If he isn't ready to commit and you are, there isn't much else to figure out. He's just making excuses about why he's not ready in the hopes that he can talk his way out of making a choice and still keep you around. If you're ready for forever, don't settle for a man who is content to stri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:22 AM
3

I think from a man that is a red flag unless we're already on the subject of men's bad behavior. If we're just having a casual conversation and he brings that up out of the blue, I'll be concerned. That is how my dad talked about boys and he cheated on my mother 6 ways from Sunday. I don't think it's a coincidence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 01:22 AM
1

Capricorn all the way, especially if you're a cap yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:48 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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