whistful1 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Anyone Feel Loneliness Even with a Solid FWB? Sounds like ur missing a certain level of emotional intimacy. That can be present in a fwb relationship but would need to be discussed with the fwb to see if they’d be good with it.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/07/26 02:26 AM
2	Need some encouragement. The “plus 61k” plus child support seems high unless you have a good income. Reason for the divorce? Why’d she leave and take the kids? You getting 50/50 custody? Not enough info here to give good advice.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/06/26 01:29 AM
1	What is the occupation of your STBXW or Ex-Wife? That’s a very straight up refusal to be there for the family. 100% selfish. Major red flag. You still in counseling or has divorce process begun? If not I’d start talking to lawyers to prepare yourself cuz that’s where it’s heading.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/06/26 11:12 AM
1	What is the occupation of your STBXW or Ex-Wife? Ditto. I swear there’s something psychological that happens about the erosion of boundaries. The physical boundaries between nurse and patients begins to erode all other boundaries. Not to mention the high stress situations and the chasing of dopamine hits outside of work. Also, many of the men who go into nursing literally do so for the access to women. It’s a great job for a P hunter.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/26 12:22 PM
8	She did not think it was funny... Men are raised with the idea that their words have meaning. That character is important. Women are too often raised with the idea that what they feel is more important than anything. That getting what they want, and how they feel is most important.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/06/26 12:51 AM
3	Married for 13 years with 3 young kids. Looking for advice. Really sucks you and your kids are going through this. All I can say is to continue to gather any evidence you can of her behavior. Don’t ever be alone with her without ur phone on you ready to hit record in case she begins to accuse you of something. Given the abuse I’d think you have a strong case for full custody. Listen to your lawyer and do what they say. Don’t let any residual emotions for your soon to be ex play a role in any decision. Wishing you and your kids the best.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/04/26 02:46 PM
0	Want a divorce but want to keep the last name of the husband You’re right, there is definitely some ego at play here. Again, it’s not about forcing someone to do anything - it’s a preference. I would prefer my ex change her last name. I did not even mention it in the divorce negotiations because at the end of the day it doesn’t matter. Her actions are 100% her actions. Just because I prefer something doesn’t mean I’m willing to go to war over it. I feel like people are adding a lot more weight to my comment than it’s worth. What bias’ and judgements are c…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/03/26 03:08 PM
-2	Want a divorce but want to keep the last name of the husband I never said “force” her to change her last name. I just don’t see the point in keeping it. If she never changed her last name then that specific connection was never made. I think another option would be that when two people marry they create an entirely new last name. That last name would be symbolic of their new “union” and if that union were to end at some point then they each go back to their respective last names prior to the marriage.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/03/26 02:16 PM
-3	Want a divorce but want to keep the last name of the husband That’s true. There will always be a shared past. But that’s the point - it’s in the past. Her new life is hers. The past connection is severed - in every way. Why not the name?	/r/Divorce_Men	06/03/26 02:01 PM
-5	Want a divorce but want to keep the last name of the husband I’d say it depends on the situation. If the ex-wife is carrying on in ways that would reflect poorly on my name, then it’s my name she’s dragging into the dirt. While maybe not a prince or heir a man (not a grown boy) should have character and carry himself with dignity and respect - his name is a representation of that. At the end of the day a man is nothing without character and integrity.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/03/26 01:53 PM
1	Someone tell me what to do Gym. Read: philosophy, psychology, sociology to learn about yourself. Therapy. Journal. Repeat.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/02/26 02:22 AM
1	I just want her to admit that she regrets it! If she tells you she regrets it would you believe her? She made her choices - if she truly regretted it she would have said so immediately and worked with you in rebuilding your relationship.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/12/25 08:05 PM
8	Ladies be tripping Hold ur head up. Don’t let their lack of character and integrity impact the way you choose to live. Focus on your own growth and ur own future. The truth always comes out. Let it show her as a liar.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/12/25 11:55 AM
3	What was your "it's really over" moment? When she drunkenly told me I was a “nobody worthless loser” - still stings. I knew that there was nothing I could ever do to “win her back.” Not to mention the drinking, gaslighting, and cheating…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/11/25 03:38 AM
3	Has anyone ever fallen out of love but found their way back to prevent divorce? If you are both willing to rebuild emotional intimacy and lives separate from ur children - as individuals and as a couple - then yes it’s very possible. You’ve clearly identified the problems, it’s up to the two of you to communicate and work together towards the new goal of a healthy relationship. It doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed to work but you’ll regret not trying.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/10/25 11:39 PM
9	No goodbye I 100% understand where ur coming from. I was there - a part of me still is. But now I would at least hesitate, and I hope I’d be strong enough to tell her no. Tbh there are days I know I would lack the strength to, and others where I feel so certain that she is no longer the woman I am in love with. I’m in love with who she used to be, who she at least pretended to be for all the years in the end. She denied me honesty and closure, which all stems from her refusal to give me any basic human lev…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/10/25 01:16 AM
2	How did you guys develop any appetite for intimacy after the divorce? I’m afraid that my thoughts of perpetual celibacy may be unhealthy. I’ve been struggling with this as well. I have a desire for intimacy but have a lot of fear due to the level of betrayal and resulting trauma. So I’ll tell you what I try to remind myself. I will assume there were good times in the relationship otherwise the marriage wouldn’t have happened. Focus on the love you once felt. The joy it gave you. Pain is unfortunately a side effect of love. Whether the relationship is successful or not. People hurt people because we’re all flawed and fucked up in o…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/10/25 10:40 PM
5	Wife’s saying nonsense She’s panicking. Change all passwords to your personal accounts. She’s trying to break you - it’s straight forward emotional and verbal abuse. Keep ur mouth shut when she starts talking her nonsense, and it may actually be a good idea to record what she’s saying - check the laws in ur state. Keep ur lawyer informed of everything - begin journaling and documenting everything. You’re going to be in for a challenging time. Take care of your mental and emotional health.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/10/25 01:32 AM
1	My wife (24F) still loves for high school boyfriend. Need all the advice Requirements: Go to counseling Have her sign a prenup and separate any and all shared financials Options: Be open to a polyamorous relationship knowing she will likely leave you for him or someone else. Divorce her now and save you both the time, and you the gnawing uncertainty	/r/Divorce_Men	05/10/25 05:12 PM
2	(47). Not yet divorced. I have a feeling sex isn’t the only issue - just an easy thing to point to as a result of a lack of connection in the relationship. However, if I’m wrong and it’s only physical intimacy that is lacking then there are a handful of conversations that need to happen (perhaps for a second/third time). There are so many options that don’t require divorce. If ur only still in the relationship because you’ve been in it for X years then you shouldn’t be in it any longer. Marriage is about selfless love,…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/10/25 12:12 PM
8	Divorce is over, ex left me because I was too boring and didn't harm her Too often we confuse calm with boredom, and chaos with excitement. Peace, fulfillment, and honest love are the goals in life and relationships. Finalizing my divorce and really trying to remind myself of this. Good luck to everyone in finding someone who loves them for who they are while also working together to grow as individuals and as a couple.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/09/25 04:50 PM
2	Why is “work on yourself and maybe she’ll notice” always the advice when a wife wants a divorce? My two cents: Too often men are taught that they are the problem. Traditionally men are problem solvers - hence the self improvement. Too many women are not willing to look at their own behavior as contributing factors to the disconnect in a relationship. Therefore, a man being open to them about issues he has in the relationship is not typically met with understanding and empathy. So too many men stay silent and hope they can be better in the hopes that they will receive the respect and underst…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/08/25 02:38 AM
3	Need Advice Shouldn’t need the certificate to begin the filing process. Depends on ur state laws. Talk to a lawyer and find out all ur options and how to best proceed to protect yourself and your child. If she says she’s filing and hasn’t she’s either just manipulating things further or is trying to buy time. Protect yourself.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/07/25 12:37 AM
1	Need Advice Ur not wrong, ur being manipulated and used. Start gathering evidence of the level of her alcohol intake. Photos of bottles, receipts, of her passed out if possible, photos of text conversations where you e discussed the excessive drinking and ur concern for her. Contact a lawyer. Begin the divorce process. See what ur options are on getting her into treatment during the divorce process. Proceed from there per ur lawyers instructions. Do not let ur love for her cloud ur judgement and what you kn…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/07/25 12:03 AM