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View 1 posts and 306 comments by whitefox00 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
218

RANTwhitefox00/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 08:32 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
160

Oh man, that was my ex to a T. He would literally tape or cover things to fix them. And then get super offended and accuse me of not “appreciating his efforts” when I’d hire someone to do it right. Sorry that I don’t want my kitchen cabinet door held on by silver duct tape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/22 12:17 AM
9

Yeah, I agree. Honestly I think a lot of people (especially guys) are raised being told that they’re special. This needs to stop. It goes to their head and they end up believing they’re too good for a job/hard work. Look at this guy in the story-he was CONVINCED that he was some kind of misunderstood genius. Not blaming the mom in this story but she should have booted him out when he refused to get a job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/22 12:50 PM
79

This is a great post! Honestly I would tell women to be cautious anytime a dad tries to play victim. There are going to be exceptions that actually have vindictive ex-wife’s, but for the most part they’re using their victimhood to get out of taking responsibility. Dad #1: Left me when I was pregnant, disappeared until our kid was 1.5 years old then suddenly sued for custody. Dropped our kid off with his Mom/GF every time he had visitation. Goes around telling everyone I tried to baby trap him an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 06:50 PM
31

Agreed! Why do Dads get the role of walking them down the aisle and a dance-when we all know Mom did most of the work?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/22 03:25 PM
52

Wow, he hid it for 5 YEARS?! That seems almost sociopathic. Mine was a whirlwind romance. We got engaged and married in around a year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/22 03:16 AM
91

“People can change after marriage - after they feel that they’ve trapped you.” THANK YOU, this is exactly what happened to me. Total bait-and-switch scenario. I didn’t know that about the UK’s legal system. That’s terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 11:40 PM
103

Yes, and be sure to tell everyone the reason you don’t see your kids is because he’s keeping them from you! You’re the victim here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 08:19 PM
3

Thank you! I’m blessed to have my kids. They’re the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 06:22 PM
326

Tip ?: Make sure and make plenty of time for your hobbies, such as video games. Don’t let things like a job, chores, or parenting distract you from what YOU want. If anyone points it out, be sure to remind them that they’re “nagging” and they’re not supporting your mental health issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 04:48 PM
69

There’s a strong belief one of my exes did this. We have a daughter together that I got pregnant with while on the bcp. He left me and eventually married another woman. They tried for years to have a baby. She underwent all kinds of tests. They couldn’t find any reason why she couldn’t get pregnant. From what I’ve heard-he refused testing because the problem “obviously” wasn’t him. She threatened to leave him if she didn’t get her baby (she makes all the money) so they ended up adopting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 07:15 PM
3

Interesting! I wasn’t aware the gift giving culture was so prevalent. Thank you for sharing :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 02:02 PM
14

Honest question, is frugality/being cheap looked down upon in Asia? In dating or in all different aspects/relationships?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 03:13 AM
21

Pretty spot on, it took me 10 years to get diagnosed. Had to switch to a new doctor (woman) because my old one (guy) absolutely refused to believe me. I’m in the states
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 06:58 PM
57

Not excusing the pick-me behavior, but with celebrity/athlete wives I find they have another reason for staying. Normally fame or money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 09:49 PM
70

Oh man…the boomers. I get bossed around and orders barked at me all day by boomers. But the first time I give them an answer without a qualifier I get “you don’t have to be rude”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 07:35 PM
24

This is my mother too, narcissism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 06:02 PM
98

I have a pickme friend like this and, unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do or say that will get her to leave him. My friend has a mooch that’s lived with her for YEARS. He has no job, no car, and no future. She is an absolute rock star with a Masters and her own business. For some reason she’s desperate to marry him and he knows it. So he dangles the idea in front of her while he plays video games all day at her house, eating her food and driving her car.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 01:34 AM
6

Exactly! It’s the entitlement. If I ask a guy what he’s doing and he says he just got done mowing-I don’t immediately start saying “when are you going to mow my lawn for me?!” and then have the AUDACITY to get mad at him over it. We don’t owe anybody our labor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 12:24 AM
10

Smart. I can’t tell you the number of men I’ve stopped taking to because of the following situation. LVM: “What are you doing?” Me: “Cooking dinner for the kids” LVM: “Oooo what are you making?” Me: “Chicken Alfredo & garlic bread” LVM: “That sounds good! When are you cooking for me?” They will then continue to pester me repeatedly about when I’m cooking them dinner like I’m some short line cook. GTFO with that bs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 06:31 PM
16

This happened to me as well. My narcissist Mom bought groceries and delivered them to my ex-husband after our divorce because he “lost weight and looked sad”. Never mind that he left me (and the kids). Sorry that you had to go through that, please keep that toxic woman out of your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 03:14 AM
3

Thank you so much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 03:36 PM
1

You worded it beautifully.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 03:23 PM
98

Wait…this is super interesting! (No sarcasm intended). I had no idea that was the history behind it, but it makes sense. Thank you! I’m doing ok. I’m hurt that his family has apparently welcomed the mistress with open arms. Like you said-I’m being blamed because apparently I didn’t do enough to make him happy. Even though I literally did EVERYTHING. My ex is the definition of a man-child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 08:47 PM
313

Totally agree. It doesn’t do any good. All it does it bolster their ego. A lot of people think I’m crazy because I didn’t chase after or demand an explanation when my ex husband ghosted me. It was obvious he left me for the woman he was (apparently) cheating on me with. Fuck him-I’m not going to beg him to stay with me and the kids. He’s the one missing out. But I get flack for “letting him go so easy”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 07:45 PM
33

A sarcoma? 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 07:41 PM
420

How frustrating! I met a handsome guy at a bar many years ago-and once he started talking I realized he had an accent. I asked if he was German and he got quite offended because he was Austrian. It never crossed my mind to INSIST he must be German! Nor did I ask him to build me a Volkswagen. All these men you’re speaking to have is the AUDACITY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 11:54 PM
28

We sound similar, I also have genetic dark under eye circles that I have to cover up with makeup. One time (when I was in college) I went to work with no makeup on and got called into the big bosses office. There he told me that it was “unprofessional” for me to come to work without putting makeup on. That if I wanted to “get ahead” in life, I would need to make sure I wore it every day. At the time I was incredibly offended, and still kind of am, but it pisses me off that the asshole was right.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 11:33 AM
141

Wait…she’s a psychologist and thinks YOUR the problem? Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 07:50 PM
54

Your Grandma sounds amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 06:28 PM
129

Couldn’t have said it better myself. I wouldn’t mind doing some of these things (like having dinner ready) if my job was to be a house wife. Back in those days men had responsibilities as well. They were the breadwinners and did a few of the “manlier” chores. Nowadays guys still want this while they sit unemployed on the couch playing video games and their wife goes to work at her full time job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 05:07 PM
15

Funny you should say that, he got badly injured shortly after leaving us. He was showing off for the new girlfriend and it went badly. Now he has to attend physical therapy and the girlfriend gets to be his nurse. There are downsides-he can’t work so he’s paying 0 child support and he’s using the injury as an excuse to not see the kids, AT ALL. Thank you for your kind words. I think there’s been way too much focus put on men “being happy”. It seems like 100 years ago men were expected to handle …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 08:37 PM
13

Ha! Understandable, it’s a shitty story. I share it in hopes I can help other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 06:12 PM
9

Sorry that happened to you, it also happened to me. What is with these families enabling these men to abandon their wives/kids?! I’m going to laugh when he abandons them one day, probably when they’re sick and need help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 05:56 PM
22

It happens though. My ex left the kids and I for his mistress. Apparently he immediately introduced the side chick to his family and they were FINE with it. They said all that mattered was that “he was happy”. At almost 40 years old he moved back in with his Mom. His family has fully supported him leaving us behind and have offered 0 support to me or the kids. Yet they are 100% enabling and supporting him. It baffles me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 05:53 PM
16

I feel like that’s such a fundamental difference between men and women. We try so hard to make it work-CoMuNiCaTiNg, therapy, gifts, etc while men bail at the drop of a hat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 07:48 PM
76

This is such a great point! My ex of many, many years left me for another woman. He tells everyone he “was unhappy”. That’s news to me! He never once expressed any kind of needs in terms of “hey I need more compliments/time together/sex/etc”. I would have tried to accommodate them. Instead I thought we were fine and I (and the children) got left out of nowhere. I’ve seen this happen to other friends and the man always justifies it as “I wasn’t happy”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 02:54 PM
2

Thank you ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 03:33 AM
22

Me too. This shit happened to me and I’m still blown away by it. My ex left me and the kids for another woman. For a couple weeks he picked up the kids for visitation. But eventually he ended up abandoning our kids (that he supposedly loved so much) because he’s too wrapped up in the new girlfriend and her kid. He literally ghosted us…after 15 YEARS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 03:23 AM
11

Good for you, I think that’s such a great decision. Wishing you the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 11:19 AM
97

You’re not crazy, you’re smart. My ex-husband proposed to me at 6 months. We were both head over heels for each other so I said yes. We quickly got married…and then I saw the real him come through. Or at least the man he was after the “honeymoon” phase was over. Don’t make the same mistake I did, make sure you know what kind of person he is before you marry him. How long have you been together?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 03:04 AM
112

I got the same vibe….very young. Hope she finds FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 11:51 PM
131

He knew you could do a hell of a lot better than him-and was hoping you wouldn’t realize it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 11:55 PM
230

Oooo I have a good one for this! Personally don’t believe in karma, but I do believe people suffer the consequences of their actions. My ex of many years blindsided me when he told me he wanted space because he “was depressed”. He left the house and literally never spoke to me again. A short time later I found out he had been cheating on me and was now apparently in a relationship with pickmeisha. So he and the pickmeisha met at a sporting event that they both participate in. A few weeks into th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 08:57 PM
314

I’ve experienced this one before. He believes his thoughts and opinions are much more important than hers. Also he doesn’t want a conversation, he wants an audience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 08:24 PM
2

Hahaha exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 08:22 PM
2

That will make this a lot easier then, so it’s probably a good thing. I’ve been through family court A LOT, here’s my advice. (I realize many of these have been stated before). Biggest one is to stay calm and unemotional. The minute you get upset and it shows you’re now negotiating from a weaker position. Do not let them rile you up! They will try. In my divorce they used our last years tax statements/w-2’s to compute our income. My ex tried to say I made much more than I did and this allowed th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 03:11 PM
78

He went on a road trip with his friends for the weekend. I watched YouTube videos on how to change locks. I changed ALL the locks on the house so he couldn’t get back in. Left a note on the front door letting him know the situation. (I had asked him to leave several times and he refused. He never thought I’d have the nerve or brains to do something like this). I then arranged a day where he could come pick up his stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 01:47 AM
171

Exactly. I made this mistake when I was younger. He was a hobosexual who “started staying” every night and made himself right at home. However when I asked him to pay for some bills he would get super defensive that he didn’t actually live there and I was being a gold-digger. It took an act of God to finally get him out of my house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 07:21 PM
4

Do you have any kids OP?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 01:00 PM
16

Exactly. My teen and tween have used “pickmeisha”. My youngest, the sassy one, has asked a friend if she was trying to get picked. I think Gen Z is waking up to some of the inequities-it’s great to see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 03:50 PM
33

Hat fishing has gotten me so many damn times! I’m around 40, so many guys my age are balding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 12:32 AM
3

My ex did this too. His place was super tidy and organized. Once we got married he turned into the biggest slob. He would throw food wrappers and cans onto the floor for me to pick up. He refused to do the dishes, to the point they grew mold and made us all sick. We’re obviously broken up and his current place is perfectly clean. It’s beyond infuriating because it’s obvious they know how to clean/organize but think it should be our responsibility to clean up after them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:24 PM
16

They’ve got to find someone to pawn their kids off on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 11:59 AM
10

Very true OP. I caught the C word the week after my ex (of 14 years) left me. The kids told him I was really sick. He never checked on me, never offered any help. In fact, he kept dropping the kids off early so he could rush to meet up with woman he left me for. The only guy I can ever think of that offered me any help when sick was my Dad. It’s always my women friends that come through in clutch. Please take good care of yourself OP. I’ve had a hysterectomy and it’s not an easy surgery. Hope th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 03:06 PM
144

I have a Siberian Husky, this is a spot-on description. The dog was ditched on me by a family member and I’ve made it work. While I love her, it takes a special type of person to own huskies because they are so high maintenance. There’s no way I would do it with super young kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 04:54 AM
9

Thank you so much! To no one’s surprise I’m also an active member over at raisedbynarcissists. The good news is that I’m breaking the cycle. Have a couple kids of my own and while I’m not perfect, I try really hard to be a supportive and good mom :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 05:41 PM
11

Thank you! I really appreciate your support. My life has hit some bumps lately but I can say it’s much better without my Mom in it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 04:16 PM
207

This is so frustrating to read. Had something similar happen to me, and now I have no contact with my mother. The first 2 guys I dated treated me fantastic. I had very high standards and would walk away from any guy that didn’t meet them. Well…my Mom got jealous. She was stuck in a miserable marriage with my Dad, a man-child. She started grounding me when she felt I was “too harsh” to my boyfriend. She started drilling into my head that it was my job to cook and take care of him. She started tel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 11:39 PM
61

But it’s important she stay thin and attractive for him. Can’t have her “letting herself go”. Especially after having kids /s /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 03:49 AM
35

I became gluten intolerant after having my 2nd kid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 05:23 AM
127

Sounds like this guy I work with. He likes me, I am not interested. But he’s trying so hard to mold me into what he wants. For instance, he’s really into sports, I’m more artistic. The other day his comment was “I’m going to get you to watch a football game whether you like it or not.” He’s also big on the gym and has started making negative comments on my weight (around 115 lbs) and how it would be beneficial to me to start going to the gym like he does every morning. Now that I’m older and hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 11:42 PM
16

Hahaha that’s an amazing story! So glad you called him out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 04:23 AM
35

He legitimately asked you for $3?!! Oh Lord. Back in my pickme days I went on a date where I had paid for the tickets ahead of time, they weren’t cheap. While we were at the event he asked if I was thirsty and wanted to get a drink? I said yes, we went over to the drink stand and he told me “there you go” and turned and walked about 15 feet away. He LEFT me to get and pay for the drink by myself. It was a $4 lemonade. He wouldn’t even buy me a $4 drink after I paid $30 for his ticket.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 02:11 AM
7

Hahaha I love this, and will definitely be using it in the near future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 11:40 AM
2

Sounds like you leveled up since him, good for you! I’ve read so many stories on here of women thriving after their relationships end. Really makes you think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 02:00 AM
131

That’s a smart attitude to have. Cooking is definitely a touchy one for me. When I was married my husband expected me to get started on a hot meal the second I walked in the door from working all day. Now I’m a single parent with a full time job. My senior Dad won’t quit pestering me to cook food for him too. I’ve tried to explain multiple times that I have 2 kids, limited time and limited income (he’s never offered to pay for any groceries) and he acts like I’m the most selfish daughter this si…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 01:13 AM
225

It would be interesting if one day the AI rebelled against men due to their treatment of it. Can you imagine if there was an I, Robot against dudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 04:23 AM
53

My ex husband would do this too. He would alternate between 10 steps ahead of me or 10 steps behind me. If he was behind me it meant he was playing on his phone. Either way I was wrangling the stroller/diaper bag/kid/etc. by myself. He played dumb when I tried to point out how rude it was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 02:45 PM
194

Around 40 myself, and I feel incredible freedom at this age. My ex-husband left me for someone younger because I stopped tolerating his crap and started drawing boundaries. But now that it’s just the kids and I-I do what makes me happy. I wear outfits I like, wear my hair how I want, partake in hobbies that interest me. I love it! There’s no worrying about attracting anyone. Isn’t it interesting how much we can see clearly as we get older?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 03:18 AM
16

Oh I didn’t know that part…It’s all terrible no matter what 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 02:50 PM
41

There is video of him inappropriately touching a little girl, he’s a terrible person. Totally agree with this list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 12:11 PM
114

I’ve blocked several potential dates for this. Grew up in a generation where mobile phones weren’t a thing - so I don’t stay attached to mine. The amount of guys that have gotten offended it took me more than 10 minutes to reply is too high. Even ones that were sending an introductory message!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 05:12 AM
27

Thank you! My kids and I are really happy now. Him leaving was a big weight off my shoulders, even though it hurt like hell at the time. It is SO frustrating! I feel like men get into relationships (marriage, parent) thinking it should be 24/7 fun and they don’t have to put any effort into it. But yet they expect a lot out of the others in the relationship. Just like you said-he’s the only one that matters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 04:08 AM
328

My ex-husband did this. She needs a divorce, prompt. There’s no coming back from it. It pisses me off so much that men will have children and then abandon them when it gets difficult. Did they think it was all rainbows and butterflies all the time? Do they not care for their children at all? Can you imagine the reaction if women did that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 06:29 PM
61

As a mother in this situation, yes we know. But #1 - Dad is getting all kinds of praise from other people who it what a wonderful and involved Dad he is for putting his kid in activities 🙄 #2 - There’s the awareness that our kids are probably better looked after when they’re in the class, especially when it’s a woman like your mom teaching it. When the kids get older I’ve noticed the dads start taking them to their own activities and try to write it off as “doing something” with the kids. For ex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 03:36 PM
142

I love the concept of LAT, but in reference to what you were saying about men wanting to reap the benefits - that’s very true. I’ve told men about my desire to live apart together and they immediately get uncomfortable with the idea and say “what’s the point then?”. I proceed to point out companionship, dates, sex and yet still having our own places to retreat to. Then I ask why they’re against it? It basically amounts to 2 reasons. How is a woman going to take care of me if she’s at her own hou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 11:03 PM
39

I found this subreddit months ago by searching “marriage is a scam”. You just put everything I felt into words. Marriage substantially benefits men while adding more work and responsibilities to the women’s plate. I’m quite convinced that men don’t “love” in the traditional sense, they marry a woman for what they can offer them. Is she hot? Does she have money? A place to live? A pushover who will take care of me 24/7? And then they will leave you if they find a woman that gives them a “better d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 11:32 PM
4

Missed the article but that’s 100% my narc mom. She HATES cats, but absolutely obsessed with dogs. She would have 5 pictures of her dog on her desk and none of her kids. One time I asked her why she disliked cats so much and she said it was “because they’re moody”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 05:06 PM
13

I love this idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 08:20 PM
71

Yes! It’s the “Homer bought Marge a bowling ball” all over again. It’s kind of odd but my ex husband and I still celebrate Christmas together for the sake of the kids. We even get a present for each other. I bought him a video game he’s been wanting. He got me a vacuum cleaner….I have hardwood floors….
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 04:03 PM
35

The nicest bouquet I ever received was from the boyfriend I had when I was 16 years old. He was also 16. It must have cost over $100 (back in the 90’s). No guy I’ve dated since then has come close.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 12:28 AM
121

I am so sorry you had to experience that. Your ex should be in jail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 11:37 PM
221

I’m almost 40 years old, however I’m short (5’1 ish). I am not “cute”. I’m a full grown woman who pays bills and has kids. I’m not a puppy nor a toddler. I’m not “so adorable”. Double bonus points if they tell me I’m especially cute when I’m angry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 12:06 AM
104

WTF. I AM from the Midwest and would be insulted if a guy told me I looked “corn fed”. What are we…goats?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 12:02 AM
103

You are so correct. Hate that you had to go through that. It sounds like one of my exes. We have a daughter together and behind closed doors he was emotionally abusive and close to physical (punching walls, throwing things). But when we go to court for custody he absolutely charms the lawyers, judges, and anyone who interacts with him. People just love him! Thing is - my daughter tells me he’s incredibly emotionally abusive to his current wife. So it’s not just me he treated like that. It’s the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 04:11 AM
87

Sorry this happened to you. Honestly I’ve found it doesn’t matter if you look well off or not, LVMs will still try to mooch. I’m a single parent with a basic house & 10+ year old car and still attract absolute leeches. If a man tells you he’s worried about “gold digging women” he’s projecting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 12:38 AM
3

F*ck you Rachel Gould. I love that interview. We need more ladies on late night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 11:34 PM
28

Yesssss. I bet every woman on here has encountered that male coworker who stomps/slams/throws shit when he gets mad at work. Can you imagine if women did that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 02:48 PM
26

I LOVE this and will be using it henceforth. Thank you for the great advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 02:46 PM
62

Girl no! I’m a single mom to 2 kids, I work full time, and I have a house & 2 pets. Yet I still find time to clean my bathroom and toilet. This guy isn’t “working too hard”, he’s just lazy and gross. Now you’re going to be appointed the house maid and he’s going to treat you like dirt and expect you to clean up after him. SMH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 12:06 PM
73

I completely 100% agree with you. However, I did the meeting one (are you aware you’re interrupting me?) and was pulled aside afterward and told I need to work on my attitude. That I wasn’t a “team player”. I was so angry-it was totally fine for him to interrupt me but rude of me to call him out on it. I don’t work there anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 11:59 AM
7

It’s similar though. Sorry to hear about your panic attacks 🥺
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 02:57 AM
29

Could the covered up thing be due to her large chest? I know a girl that wears hoodies and covers up all the time - because she’s blessed up top and people making comments on it embarrasses her. And she also doesn’t want people (mostly men) to only see that when they look at her. Just a thought…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 01:48 AM
10

That’s an absolutely perfect way of stating it. And quite depressing. I think we all want people who care about us because of WHO we are-not what we look like/how we make them feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 01:26 AM
4

Couldn’t agree more! 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 01:24 AM
540

AMEN. I guess because I’m quiet and introverted, I attract the men that love to monologue about themselves. There have been several (first only) dates where the guy legitimately just talked about himself the entire time. Even when I tried to interject he would just interrupt me to talk about himself more. Conversations should be like a tennis match-each person takes turns. The most horrific aspect is that these men couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to see them again because they felt like “w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 12:18 AM
36

Did the right thing and died?! Bahahahaha 🤣😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 12:05 AM
22

Agreed! I’ve known several SAHD’s and I’ve yet to see one do half as much as a SAHM. Never heard of that manga, I’ll have to check it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 10:35 AM
136

TRUTH. There was a short 3 month period where I didn’t have a job. I took care of our 2 toddlers and my sick father. I also did all the chores/cleaning/cooking/etc. With all of that my (ex) husband was SO resentful. He would make passive aggressive comments and no matter how much I did-it was never enough. Then he got laid off and became a house husband. Not even a SAHD, he informed me he could get called back “at anytime” so we had to keep the kids in daycare so they didn’t lose their spot. He …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:43 AM
221

Can’t stand a coward. I remember years ago I was watching the news and they were interviewing a couple that had been in a tragic event, pretty sure it was the movie theater incident in Aurora. But the story they told was that when the gunfire started she dove to protect their young daughter. He grabbed their infant son and took off running (leaving his wife and daughter behind). Then he/the guy decides the infant is slowing him down so he PUT HIM ON THE FLOOR, ran out of the theater, got into th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 04:36 PM
19

Went to a male therapist who saw both my ex-husband and I. Told us we were both equally responsible for the breakdown in the marriage and that I needed to CoMmUnIcAtE in ways my ex could understand (because apparently “I don’t like it when you do xxxx” is not clear?). Went to a female therapist. She saw (ex)husband and I for one session. At the end of the session she asked to speak with me alone. Told me I needed to leave him immediately. I did and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 07:47 PM
136

I hate that we won’t get to hear the story, but then I remember it would have been from his side only and most likely inaccurate. He would have painted himself as the victim. My thoughts: Gabby was WAY out of his league. (Never understood why she dated him). She tried to break up with him. He knew he could never do better than her and the thought of losing her enraged him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 10:46 AM
5

Thank you for being an amazing Mom! Unfortunately I see so many mothers sacrifice their daughters well-being for the sake/benefit of their sons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 01:34 PM
2

Wow, that’s crazy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 05:00 AM
105

This is such a great point. It’s interesting to me-I’m an older redditor (around 40) and so many of my friends are just now having kids. By the time I’m 45 both my kids will be adults. I can’t imagine raising them until 60. Not trying to say it’s wrong, just that I couldn’t do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 08:47 PM
53

A 17 year old?!!! He’s easily old enough to be her father. UGH. I’m glad to hear you left that creep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 08:41 PM
3

This comment matches your amazing username perfectly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 12:00 AM
10

Yes! I’m closing in on 40, it seems impossible to find a guy my age that isn’t balding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 11:36 PM
13

There should be, as we are 100% entitled to compensation for all the work we had to put in. Your ex sounds like a piece of work. Mine finally admitted that he “could have acted better” and “got lazy” after we got married. It’s sad because it shows that they know what they should be doing. However, they think they’re entitled to a personal slave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 09:57 AM
49

This is EXACTLY what happened to me too! He was neat and clean when we were dating. We agreed to split the chores 50/50, we were totally on the same page. The second we got married he turned into the laziest slob you’ve ever seen. Shortly thereafter he was laid off and became that guy who plays video games 12+ hours a day. No amount of begging, nagging, therapy, etc would get him to lift a finger. It was a total bait and switch. We’re divorced now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 10:10 PM
6

Yes, that’s awesome! I also buy my daughters flowers or little gifts often so they can set their bar high. I’ve never met anyone else who does the same. People give me sh*t for “spoiling” them. I’m just trying to teach them standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 01:39 PM
82

Yes! Women have been fed too much fairy tale “love” by Disney, The Beatles, the media, etc. Marriage should be looked at as a business transaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 12:02 PM
7

Unfortunately I can’t say the same for yours, it’s too relatable 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 02:18 AM
57

Also “my biology forbids me to stay attracted to broke men” 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 02:02 AM
307

I’m truly baffled by their refusal to learn how to cook. Personally I had no idea how to cook anything besides pop-tarts when I went to college. Y’know what I did? Watched YouTube and cooking shows until I learned. There were many times I messed up and made something inedible. Threw it away and tried again another day. Now I’m pretty decent at making basics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 12:38 PM
3

Couldn’t agree with you more. The ONLY thing that might stop him from getting revenge is if his agent/publicist/etc convince him it will damage his image (in my opinion). But Will has always struck me as someone who has a very controlled good guy image, but if you pay attention he’s kind of cold emotionally. Maybe one day he’ll get that revenge and you and I will be like “we knew it!”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 10:54 AM
15

Yes! he looked SO pissed/embarrassed. It’s just my opinion-but I believe he’s not that upset about the cheating. It’s the fact that she got sloppy and got caught, which made him (Will) look bad. He’s a A+ movie star and his wife just got busted cheating on him with a young guy. That’s embarrassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 08:50 PM
140

Yes! My boomer dad and I have had this same conversation many times. My Dad is very LVM in many ways (think Mad Men) but he did ALWAYS provide for us financially. He would get laid off quite often and would take odd jobs and do whatever it took to earn money. When my ex husband got laid off he would literally lay around playing video games for 12+ hours a day. There were times my paycheck didn’t cover the bills-he didn’t care but would complain that I didn’t let him buy a $60 video game. My Dad …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 08:35 PM
27

Have you noticed that the expectations of guys has also gone down? Back in the day a large majority of men were running a farm and tending crops from dusk until dawn. He ran the farm, she ran the household. Then in the Mad Men to Boomer age category things got inheritently easier for them-but they were at least expected to be a provider. Nowadays, it seems like they have 0 expectations placed on them. They sit and play video games all day. They might have to work a job but us ladies are expected…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 02:38 AM
27

That I’m not the only one that feels this way-marriage benefits men way more than it benefits women. Society has tricked us into thinking it’s the pinnacle of happiness and the end goal for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 12:07 AM
8

You dodged a bullet, thank goodness!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 10:12 AM
25

Wow…the AUDACITY of that scrote that asked if you owned the house. The only way he could have made it any more obvious was to ask for your bank statements. Did you realize in that moment that he was looking for a financial target to mooch off of? For some reason I attract the financial leeches, (even though I’m not wealthy by any means). I learned this lesson the hard way after I told a guy that my car was paid off. He would use the “well I have a car payment to make and you don’t so you can pay…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 02:51 AM
24

Aww thank you! I just like to share my stories in the hopes it will help other women. 😃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 12:36 PM
87

That sucks, I’m sorry to hear that. Unfortunately I somewhat relate. My ex husband would put on a show of being a great dad when people were around and then wouldn’t even raise a finger to do anything for the kids at home. He had to keep up the good guy/good dad image. They really are psychos. My ex was also an attention hog. He didn’t like how all the attention was focused on me (during labor) and started saying “I don’t feel so good” and swaying dramatically. The doctor and all but one of the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 11:00 AM
13

Yes, always!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 10:52 AM
376

I used to watch “A Baby Story” on TLC. Would see so many husbands tell the woman in labor to “calm down” and “stop screaming-you’re overreacting”. Some would roll their eyes at their wives cries of pain, like you would at someone exaggerating an injury. It made me so angry. I’m grateful that my LVM ex-husband at least had the decency to be supportive during labor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 01:00 AM
125

I’m close to 40 and still know several men that fit that description. What really frustrates me are the people that enable them. My ex husband lives at home with his mother. She doesn’t make him pay any bills or clean. My BFF’s husband quit his good paying job to “follow his dreams”. BFF stayed with him and sunk a bunch of money into his stupid “dream”. He drives a brand new car (financed by her) and they just bought a super expensive house (also financed by her). She’s killing herself working t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 02:37 AM
21

Love your positivity OP. I’m a single mom raising 2 teenage girls. I hold down everything by myself (job, household, car, kids sports, pets, etc). My girls are the most amazing people, both inside and out. Makes me proud and makes me feel like I’m doing something right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 10:51 PM
19

“A killer winged eyeliner with ease” is truly impressive. Mine always come out unbalanced 🥴
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 10:45 PM
218

Not only did he stick her with the bill, he passively aggressively commented on how much she was eating. This was obviously a special occasion-and she was enjoying herself. Why does he have to ruin her vibe? She’s way out of his league.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 10:43 PM
9

Ok, I LOVE this comment. Wasn’t aware of the history behind romance - it’s fascinating. It also makes a lot of sense. I remember reading that marriages used to be treated like business deals (back in the day). I think we need to incorporate some of that back into today’s society. For example: Marry someone equal or above your financial status. You wouldn’t take a job making substantially less, that would be a step backwards. Why do we settle for a man who makes a fraction of what we do? We shoul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 02:57 AM
19

This is the same exact thing I am experiencing. The women I know are doing well, they’re successful. The guys? Not at all. Some living in their parents basement. Others that are married are jobless, are terrible fathers, are addicted to something, etc. Do you think they’ve always been like this and it’s showing because women are no longer taking care of them? Or do you think it’s a recent development? I know my daughters want nothing to do with guys. They are choosing to “focus on themselves”, w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 10:40 PM
42

The 7 year itch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 04:14 PM
31

EXACTLY the same thing my ex husband did. He was all about presenting that “good guy” image. He would also rush over to help friends/family with something but absolutely refuse to get off his ass at home. Most people didn’t believe me when I said he was selfish-because he was so “giving” with others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 11:49 PM
82

This is a really interesting take. I’m older than most on here and many of the men I know (my age) constantly talk about how high school was the best time of their life. They constantly reminiscence about being young and having the “hot girlfriend” and “no responsibilities”. They also get more and more bitter the older they get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 06:31 PM
22

First, congrats on the amazing job and your success. Second, this reminds me of a woman I know. She’s a very successful surgeon and once her date finds out she can see his eyes turn into dollar signs. Just like you, he then says she can cover the bill or at least half since she has so much money. If he does seem okay at first, he’s always gotten offended at how much time her job requires. She gave up on dating because she couldn’t seem to find a decent guy who wasn’t threatened by her success or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 10:19 PM
55

I have never realized this either but it’s so true. Had a plumber (probably his 50’s) come over to work on the kitchen sink. He bossed me around the entire time like I was a personal assistant. “Go get a towel” and “Get in my tool bag and hand me XXXX”. If he wasn’t hired and sent over by my landlord I would have asked him to leave. Not even my boss treats me like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 04:39 AM
58

Exactly. My ex husband lost his job and used the “depression” excuse to not do chores or his half of the parenting. He played video games 12–16 hours a day. I was the one yelled at by family for being “mean” and “unsupportive” when I got fed up and told him to get over it. No one seemed to care that I was working full time, raising 2 toddlers and doing all the chores by myself for over a year either. I’d also like to add his “depression” would suddenly disappear whenever his friends would ask hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 01:46 AM
60

Yup. #1: Guys like this are entitled because their family has enabled it. So the family will support and pay for an attorney so he can get his revenge. And #2: They’re also angry at her because he is now their problem again. I’ve lived it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 02:00 AM
25

A WEEK?!!! From someone that’s had 2 kids - that just made me cross my legs and curl up into the fetal positions. That would hurt so bad. That poor woman!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 12:55 AM
4

Exactly. That was definitely one of the main “eye opening” moments that made me realize he didn’t love or respect me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 12:42 AM
1

You’re not wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 12:40 AM
9

Thank you!! That was long ago-the kids are teenagers now. It’s just the 3 of us and, besides the occasional teenage attitude, we’re incredibly happy. I just try to share my story so that some of the wonderful young ladies on this forum can learn from my mistakes. My ex husband seemed HV. He took me on real dates, was attentive and romantic, and he & I were in full agreement when we talked about the future (50/50 responsibilities). However he rushed for us to get married…and that should have been…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 12:40 AM
41

Amen. I tell this story all the time but I begged/pleaded/threatened with my ex husband to do the chores. It was his turn to do the dishes and, dammit, I wasn’t going to do them. They sat there for days-that turned into weeks. They ended up growing mold and then maggots. WE HAD MAGGOTS IN OUR SINK AND DISHES and he didn’t care. The kids and I got sick. In the end I put gloves on and threw them all away, because I would never let anything hurt our kids. But ex didn’t seem to care. I’d leave the h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:05 AM
8

I had such a problem with random men and salesmen coming to my door I had to get a sign made that says “We Do Not answer the door for strangers”. They still try….
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 02:00 AM
3

I completely agree with all of this. It’s been awhile since I’ve watched the show but I remember liking Charles Blake as well. He would have been a better match for Mary. But, to be honest, I couldn’t stand Mary. She was a snob and an absolute bully to her sister. Is it just me or did you think Mr. Bates did some of the crimes that he was suspected of? Never saw him as a good guy. He seemed like a dark criminal putting on an act for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 11:03 AM
22

My ex husband did this too! Before we were married he was attentive, supportive, had good hygiene, and was working a full time job that paid very well. We had a lot of amazing dates and adventures. I spoke to him about future goals (splitting housework, parenting, etc) and he agreed with me on everything. We were total partners in crime, I was so happy. Then once we got married he turned into another person. He got REALLY into video games. Spent all his time playing. Got laid off and refused to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 08:50 PM
16

Thank you so much! We divorced years ago and I am, very happily, raising my kids on my own (although he does have some custody). One day I may like to date again-but not until I can see the warning signs. I felt so dumb being duped by his fake “great guy/hardworking” persona. I love FDS so much-I’ve learned a huge amount from you and other ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 02:00 AM
16

Wow, that’s crazy. I didn’t know they could get the expensive (besides monster tires).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:35 AM
25

$5k for TIRES?!! Is she sure that’s what he spent it on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 12:15 AM
47

This is EXACTLY what I experienced, word-for-word. He was “stressed” from “applying for jobs all day” so he was playing video games to unwind. There was never any proof that he applied for these jobs so I knew it wasn’t happening. I begged him for help because I was so run down and in tears from working full time, running the house, and parenting 2 young kids by myself. His response was to get angry at me for making him “feel bad” while he was “experiencing depression” and I had no idea “what he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 12:08 AM
21

Ok, thanks for clarifying. Congrats on graduating college, that’s a great achievement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 11:56 PM
18

Sorry, what’s the DSM?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 11:47 PM
205

Yes! I see this happening in huge amounts. And like you said-they’re not being raised this way. They have college degrees and hard working parents. I have a few reasons myself. Parents/people are way too enabling of this behavior. Why are parents letting their 35 year old son move back in to pay no rent, play video games all day, & have 0 ambition. He’ll go hungry and homeless otherwise? GOOD! He’ll learn real quick that a job = food & shelter. There’s no more shame from society. My (senior) Dad…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 11:38 PM
18

I LOVE this. Can only hope my daughters stand up for themselves like this too (I’m trying really hard to teach them).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 01:11 PM
15

I also belong to the “mom was a psycho and I was quite and well-behaved club”. Some people really shouldn’t have children. She only had us because she didn’t want to work (my dad didn’t want a SAH wife but was okay with a SAHM). So she had kids and resented every second of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 01:09 PM
30

Girl, I’m so glad you dodged that bullet! I truly believe that many men are looking for women to solve their problems. They don’t want to take care of their kids during their custody? A girlfriend could watch them! They have nowhere to live? Hey a girlfriend with a place could remedy that. Heavily in debt and need to reduce their spending? A girlfriend could pay half their rent, drive places, cook them meals, etc. Us ladies have to be extra vigilant on our vetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:54 AM
5

Yes! I have 2 kids + myself. My grocery bill was cut in half after my ex moved out. Mind you I was still paying for the kids food. So cost of groceries for ex = 3 people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:46 AM
40

I bet you were part of his plan to get out of debt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:21 AM
2

Oh I hate that. Doesn’t happen to me too much but I see it happen to a lot of women I’ve worked with over the years-and it strikes me as disrespectful. If you wanted to be called Lizzy, you would have introduced yourself that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:13 AM
27

Yes! I had hyperemesis (uncontrollable morning sickness) with both my pregnancies. I would have to go into the ER to get IV fluids. One time this funny doctor implied I looked like Bella off Twilight (when she was pregnant) and told me I was housing a “little vampire” because she was stealing all my nutrients. Cracked me up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 11:49 AM
41

Oh my Lord, this triggers me. I have a name that can be pronounced 2 ways (for example: Madelyn vs Madeline*). There are a huge amount of people that will call me Madeline, I’ll correct and say “it’s Madelyn actually” and they’ll turn around and go “Hey Chris, let me introduce you. This is Madeline”. &@$!?@$@“! *Not my actual name
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 03:19 PM
12

Wow! I’ve said this for years and everyone looks at me like I just sprouted a second head. So happy to find someone who thinks the same. It upsets me that women are reflected as the root of all evil - Eve, Lilith. Then don’t get me started on the whole “we have to serve men” part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 01:32 PM
242

I’ve had way too many first dates where the guy literally monologued about himself the entire time. Never asked me a question about myself. I’d even try to interject here and there only to get talked over. The part that kills me is those guys don’t understand why I don’t want to see them again, because they “really feel like we hit it off”. Sir you’re not looking for a partner, you’re looking for an audience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 05:59 PM
10

Yup, Romeo syndrome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 05:45 PM
73

Right? That’s one of the couples that baffles me. A few others are Catherine Zeta Jones who ended up with Michael Douglas and Selma Hayek who married Francois Henri-Pinault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 11:15 PM
134

Is the divorce not finalized yet?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 04:17 AM
17

I love the term “peasant behavior” and will be using it from now on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 10:36 AM
2

Sorry to hear that you were stuck in the middle as a child, that couldn’t have been easy. Yeah, the justice system just proved to me how low the bar is for guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:18 AM
3

I’m so glad you’re better protected than my state. Part of the reason I talk about this a lot is to open other women’s eyes to what can happen. So many people love to push the “courts favor the mom/men get screwed in court” false narrative that many think it’s true and it’s not. I found the court to heavily favor men. Unfortunately he’s a shitty father. He works under the table in order to pay the minimum. The light at the end of the tunnel is that my daughter is 14 and will be driving soon. Tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 12:31 AM
3

My eyes roll just as hard as yours, 100%. Not sure how the myth got started that men get screwed in family court. My best guess is that men use it as an excuse to be a bad father (aka “that evil witch took my kid away from me”) when in reality they are given much more leeway than us women are. In fact, the male judge kept praising my ex for “stepping up” while telling me I should have kept my legs closed. This judge was totally convinced that I was trying to trap my ex cause, yknow, apparently I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 12:18 AM
2

You’re so smart to put that in your paperwork!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 12:10 AM
29

I’m in the U.S. and left the father off the birth certificate. We were not married or even living together, he dumped me when I found out I was pregnant. After raising my kid by myself for several months he suddenly decided he wanted to be a dad. He sued for custody. They forced me to submit my daughter for the paternity test (or they would take her away from me). When it showed he was the dad he got full parental rights…even though he abandoned her and me for 1.5 years. Still pisses me off. I w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 02:26 AM
29

Ugh, yes. My oldest daughters Dad loves lording this over my head. It was always my dream to move to Florida and he knew it. He wanted me to “get rid of her” or adopt her out. I choose not to. I was raising her by myself (for months) and packing up to move - when he suddenly sued for custody rights out of the blue. He got them and has prevented me from moving ever since. He loves the feeling of power it gives him…to ruin my dreams.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 02:18 AM
14

Please tell me her name is Ilene
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 04:46 PM
97

I absolutely love that line. My money rides heavily on there being a female writer for that script.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 08:16 PM
23

You absolutely nailed it. Are you a writer? This was a fun (albeit depressing) read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 12:30 PM
2

Yes, exactly. I feel like the expectations of men has lowered to ridiculous levels while the expectations of women is so high it’s impossible to measure up. Fun story: Back in the 60’s my Dad turned 18 and Grandma booted him out. He was all “what am I supposed to do?” And Grandma said “work..pay bills…figure it out.” He went through some tough times of going hungry and sleeping on friends couches. He thought if Grandma saw him struggling she’d soften and let him move back in. Nope! He eventually…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 11:53 AM
2

I’m so glad to hear that you’re safe from that toxic, horrible person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 11:44 AM
3

This is an EX I hope!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:59 AM
18

Thank you OP. We’ve all made mistakes. I think the important thing is that we learn from them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 08:55 PM
16

And they call us gold diggers….
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 08:51 PM
181

Mine drove me into bankruptcy. We were married and he talked me into a nicer house than we could afford. He kept buying cars and toys for his hobbies. He would spend crazy amounts of money on food. He would get into my purse and steal his debit card back or take mine. When we had to borrow money from our child’s piggy bank to pay for her enrollment fees I cried-I was so embarrassed. He just shrugged his shoulders. Asked for a divorce after that. It’s taken years to rebuild my credit. I get so up…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 05:12 PM
27

Yes, they definitely don’t want us realizing what a shit deal we’re getting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 10:38 PM
34

This is an incredible statement. I’ve never thought of it this way but you make a great point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 10:37 PM
38

That’s a really interesting take! I have to think about this for awhile….
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 09:02 PM
7

100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 03:39 AM
50

That poor woman. This was my past life as well. My ex husband immediately lost his job after we got married and had a kid. Laid around gaming all the time. Wouldn’t do chores, wouldn’t parent. I can guarantee this woman is miserable. The only difference between her and I is that I didn’t put up with it very long. Our marriage was rather short-he thought once he had me I wouldn’t leave. The only reason I stayed as long as I did was pressure from family to “make it work”. I did everything, includi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 08:36 PM
206

The 💥AUDACITY💥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 06:55 PM
224

Ok, first I LOVE HER. Second, this strikes close to my heart. My ex husband keeps shaming our youngest daughter for “sitting unladylike” when she’s in pants. She’s in pants! You can’t see anything! Now he’s also got my ex MIL shaming her. They don’t understand why it upsets me. Don’t need my kids growing up with a complex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:11 PM
135

Imma tag you as “coochie scientist”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:08 PM
47

My ex LVM husband was notorious for this. Something I’d like the point out, is that the relationship never starts out that way. In the beginning he always held the door open. He walked next to you holding your hand and asking about your day. He immediately took anything heavy so you didn’t have to carry it. But then once he “has” you, this shit starts. This is part of the reason I roll my eyes when men say women tricked them (by doing things such as dressing up for dates or wearing makeup). Men …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 01:33 AM
13

My LVM ex husband buzzed his hair off right after the wedding and kept it that way the entirety of the marriage. When I mentioned liking his hair better than the bald look he got indignant. Made this big stink about how I should love him for who is was and not how he looked/his hair. Then a friend told me that I would look good with super short hair. Ex immediately chimes to let me know he would leave me if I did that-as I wouldn’t ‘look like a woman anymore’. When I pointed out his hypocrisy he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 01:02 AM
9

Couldn’t agree with you more. At this point I think men see relationships as “what can I get out of this?” as opposed to being attracted to the woman as a person. I’m aware of multiple men (gold diggers) that dumped their girlfriend/wife when a more financially successful woman presented herself as an option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:46 AM
13

Yes! My mother (horrible narcissist) pushed me to lower my standards and settle. I actually had high standards and great boundaries as a teen but she nagged me to lower them and would even ground me for “being too hard on” my boyfriend. My first couple boyfriends were great people that I’ll still talk to if I see them. But after the nagging took its toll I ended up with abusers and selfish lazy aholes. My Mom was miserable in her marriage and I truly think she wanted me to be miserable too. Unfo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:39 AM
6

Sounds like that movie “It’s Complicated”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 05:24 PM
2

It does look good. Love getting movie or show suggestions that fit into FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 05:52 PM
21

I’ve read some interesting articles about how women are outpacing men in school and work due to porn and gaming. They lay around all day while we hustle, of course we’re more successful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 10:41 PM
6

I totally agree! Apparently the responsibility for my daughter lies only with me while we share the privileges of being a parent. How nice for him...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 06:33 PM
18

Me too! The rumors I heard stated he was removed from the bench for sexism. Guess I’m lucky that it wasn’t worse, he could have taken my daughter away from me. It’s anecdotal and based on what I’ve seen - but it seems men are basically given unlimited chances (in court) to be a good Dad. They’re granted a lot more leeway than us women would get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:59 PM
42

This one hits close to home. My oldest daughters dad took me to court. The judge was male. He gave my ex everything he asked for- even though he had been proven irresponsible, mentally ill, and verbally abusive. The judge told me I should consider myself lucky that he wanted anything to do with my daughter that I had “out of wedlock” and that if I didn’t like his decision I “should have kept my legs closed”. My female attorney got removed from court after those statements were made, she was so p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:03 PM
5

Thank you! I totally agree. Luckily she’s had a lot of great bday parties since then...except for last year for obvious reasons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:14 AM
62

Congrats! I’m divorced with a couple kids, and am so much happier single than I was married. My ex husband was actually more work than my kids. He was also a huge drain financially so my finances have never been in better shape than they are now. I think we get labeled as “bitter” because most of us divorced ladies have 0 desire to remarry. Been there, done that - it sucked. But men, instead of looking in the mirror, have to project the fault onto us. Hence “bitter”. They try to convince us that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:42 PM
26

I tried this shit with my ex. Told him I was stressed and he offered to help. Put him in charge of planning daughters birthday party. He forgot to send invitations, had to pay an extra fee to get bouncy house at last minute, and there was no cake/ice cream/gifts/drinks. One kid showed up, only because it was a neighbor. Our daughter was so disappointed and he admitted to me that “it was more work than he expected”. My daughter begged me, through tears, to never let him plan her birthday again. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:28 PM
41

Aww yes, have to love the nature trail suggestion for the first date /s. Cheap and doesn’t take into account your safety whatsoever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 04:30 PM
119

I’ve had guys suggest I come over and watch them play video games. How far up your own ass must your head be to think “I bet it would be super fun for her to come over, sit on my couch, and watch me play Call of Duty”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 12:30 AM
107

Totally agree. The rom-com trend of a schlubby man with an absolutely stunning woman is something I would love to see end. A few examples: The Couples Retreat movie, Grown Ups movie, Knocked Up, basically anything with Adam Sandler and/or directed by Judd Apatow. It reinforces their believe that they “deserve” a beautiful woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 12:26 AM
77

Notice how defensive the men in these comments are. Because they would definitely do the same thing and don’t want to be called out on it. This guy has straddled her with 3 young kids, bailed, and people are upset with the mom for not “moving on”? Are you kidding me? What happened to shaming men for skipping out on their responsibilities?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 11:59 PM
5

Omg, how could I forget about the “blocking you from their lane”. That happens to me ALL THE TIME. I can mentally grasp their ego being bruised by us switching lanes in front of them. But what’s with the slowing down when we slow down to move in behind them? I’ve almost been seriously injured because a guy was doing the speed up/slow down game with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:02 PM
2

I loved your long reply. Glad to hear you are also out of those bad situations and doing better. Although I hate to hear that you went through them as well. The “second one” that you were with sounds almost identical to my ex husband. Isn’t it weird that they almost all follow a pattern? Is there an LVM school where they teach them how to dupe women into relationships..... It makes me so happy to see more women discovering this sub. Amazing women like you are helping others and future generation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:58 PM
3

Couldn’t agree with you more. We need to start teaching women the signs. My ex husband lovebombed me. He took me out on lovely dates, had a nice paying job and truck, was a great gentleman. He rushed our relationship and once we got married it was like a bomb had gone off. He turned into a guy who wouldn’t do any cooking or cleaning, lost his job, and spent all his time playing video games. No amount of CoMuNnIcAtIoN would fix it, he wanted a legal slave. At the time I saw myself as the ultimate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:20 PM
28

I’ve found this to be incredibly true while driving. Going to pass someone driving slow and they suddenly slam on the accelerator preventing you from passing? It’s a man. Someone turns out right in front of you even though there’s no one behind you for miles? Guy again. They seem to believe I belong behind them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 10:46 PM
24

They run into me too. I’m assuming it’s because I’m a rather petite lady so I’m not at all intimidating. Nor does it hurt them when my 5’1 self bounces off their 6’2 220 lb frame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 11:17 PM
117

This brings up an interesting point. In the past women have handled the house/parenting/planning/cleaning/etc. Now that we’re able to make our own money and divorce is an option, many women are checking out of hetero relationships. Which means they no longer handle these things for men. I wonder what’s going to happen to men? Are they going to live in a filthy place with 5 male roommates? Live by themselves in a gross studio apartment while playing video games 24x7? Will men actually start putti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:38 AM
176

Yeah I agree. We both know he’s the type that will have a new bangmaid in record time if something happens to his wife. He’ll want to outsource the parenting as quickly as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:07 AM
27

Wow, that sounds exactly like my ex husband. All the way down to the “I’ll do it later” and the indifferent shrug. It’s so frustrating. The part that really burnt my cookies was that when we divorced and he moved out on his own - he did a really great job of keeping his place clean (and still does). So he knows how to do it, but he wanted half my income, a free maid service, and free child care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:23 AM
22

The same thing has happened to me. Although my situation is slightly different. I do have kids - but they’re older (teen girls). Also I have a good job and I’ve kept myself in shape. These LVM’s will contact me as soon as their wife files for divorce because they want to find someone new to take care of them. It never fails-they’re always heavy and bald-and they always have YOUNG kids. Young kids are a lot of work. They think I’ll raise them, and if I refuse then my teen daughters are built-in b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 08:25 PM
9

Yes, this is so true. I dated a NVM for a short time, one night we were going on one of those paint night dates. Talent is not something I possess a lot of, but what little I have is artistic. On the way he kept bragging about what an amazing artist he was. I did tell him that that I had some skill, but he ignored me to talk about himself. Anyways, during the paint nite he kept trying to give me “suggestions” on how to make my painting better. He got irritated when I wouldn’t take them (they wer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:35 AM
31

That was sweet of you to let the delivery person keep the $20! I ordered pizza last night and tipped the delivery guy $5. He thanked me profusely. He said it was one of the only tips he had gotten all night-which is sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 11:35 PM
78

I’ve found that pickme’s at work will accuse you of flirting with a male coworker if you’re getting the attention and not them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:03 AM
27

Isn’t it interesting when your daughters see the same stuff you did? I always have a mixed feeling of sadness (that my kids also have to deal with it) but also a small bit of satisfaction that it’s not just me who sees the manipulation tactic. My ex is famous for not keeping his promises/word. So when he promises one of our daughters he’ll take her shopping because she desperately needs new school clothes - she rolls her eyes and tells me “we all know that means it’s never going to happen”. And …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:33 PM
35

Mine did that too! In fact, my ex husband called me tonight from the store. He couldn’t find a specific medicine that I told him he needed to pick up for our daughter. Why call me and not just ask someone that works there?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 01:01 AM
38

I know, right? He was in a bad mood because she didn’t make him breakfast and wanted an “excuse” to lash out at her - IMO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 01:00 AM
86

Wow, this is ridiculous. The part that made me the angriest is when she specifically tells him that she’s busy and to leave her alone - then he turns right around and calls her again to ask a stupid question. I wouldn’t have answered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:29 AM
18

Yes! My Mom was like this, always pushed us to have kids. Did absolutely 0 to help with them and admitted later on that she didn’t enjoy motherhood (although it was OBVIOUS). Honestly think she wanted us to be unhappy like her. She had this mindset of “I HAD to do it, so should you”. Like it was a required rite of passage. Luckily I truly enjoy being a Mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 04:06 PM
2

I’d like to add “it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 06:58 PM
42

Just curious, was the guy a healthy weight? I went to lunch the other day and ordered chicken strips, when they came out they were quite large . The guy friend I was with kept saying “you’re not going to eat all of that are you?” and “that’s way too much food for someone your size” I was so irritated! The absolute nerve of this scrote to make these comments when I’m a healthy weight and he’s severely overweight. It was possible he was saying all this in order to get my leftovers, so I made sure …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 06:39 PM
6

I’m stuck in a state I hate because of custody. Honestly it’s an issue that doesn’t get spoken about enough. If you share custody with a LVM you are basically trapped in one location for 18+ years. My ex gets off on the fact he ruined my dreams of relocating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:55 AM
11

This happens to me so much. I’ll get a message from a guy on FB that I went to high school with. He’ll tell me he just got divorced or is in the process and wants to take me out. As a social experiment now-I’ve started asking if they have kids and how old they are. Without fail, they ALWAYS have kids and they’re always young kids. I have nothing against kids, have 2 of them myself. But mine are teenagers. What these guys see is a single woman that has successfully raised 2 kids-that they can dup…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:32 AM
6

I know, right? It feels so...uncomfortable when you’re stuck with the bill due to his irresponsibility. Thanks to this sub I’ve learned it’s a huge red flag and I should have trusted my gut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:10 AM
23

This is such great advice. I’d also add to look out for any LVM that tries to pull this at any time during the relationship. My ex paid for everything at first, came across as a complete gentleman. Then after a few months he started “forgetting” his wallet, spending an alarming amount on hobbies, nickel and diming me for everything. He hid it at first in order to trick me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:17 AM
16

What an absolute power move! You are awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 12:39 AM
9

Try turning men off and back on again legit made me laugh out loud! I think men are too enabled nowadays. My dad has told me how he was a typical slacker until he turned 18 and his mom kicked him out. She was like “sink or swim”. The older generation got drafted to go to war. I think parents understood men had to be forced to grow up in the past. They forced them to go out into the world. Nowadays they’re allowed to stay home with mom and dad playing video games in the basement. Just my theory.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 11:37 AM
21

I’m 10 years older than you but I’m seeing this in a huge majority of the men my age as well. It’s interesting because the women, many times their wives, are extremely successful. They’re getting Masters degrees, multiple promotions, or running their own successful business. Their men? One quit his good paying job out of the blue to “follow his dreams”. Mind you, they had 2 young kids when he pulled this stunt. He now works part time from home, they’ve sunk $50k into his unsuccessful business. M…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:56 AM
10

My dad was on the high school reunion committee for his (boomer) class for many years. He said this is sadly very common. It also works both ways, where the men will not “let” their wives attend without them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 01:39 AM
8

My tween used the phrase “pickme” the other day. I was surprised!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 09:02 PM
13

“Love my tendies” bahahaha, that’s a good one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 07:17 PM
2

That’s good to hear. My kids are hitting their teen years and starting to point out the stuff their dads don’t do-so I think they’re beginning to see it. And I’m ok with no praise, I do it out of love. But I think the bar needs to be raised for men. Taking your kid to McDonalds does not immediately make you the “best dad ever”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 07:05 PM
39

And to top if off the single mom is normally looked at with disdain. Y’know, the one that is actually stepping up and parenting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 09:31 PM
42

Toothpaste?! Why are they like this. My NVXs would do the same thing. I had to send a fully stocked diaper bag with them when they were babies. Nowadays they still expect me to send over clothing. The entitlement astounds me. I would never expect such a thing, would you? And the kicker is that they acted like they were doing ME a favor. They were like “oh well I’m taking her so you can have a break. It’s the least you can do”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 09:28 PM
23

Thank you so much! I hope it didn’t come across as me fishing for compliments. Was just trying to illustrate the difference in the expectations between Mom and Dad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 09:06 PM
113

Yes! Couldn’t agree with you more. I have two kids with 2 different dads (I’m a slow learner) and I’ve seen this in spades. Dad #1 insists on taking his custody time but completely ignores her the entire time. On Fathers Day he’ll post a picture of them together and the amount of “OMG you’re such an amazing dad!” makes me sick. It’s one picture.... Dad #2 has had several meals paid for when taking our daughter out to eat because he was too lazy to cook or go to the store. But the amount of “You’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:28 PM
2

That’s sweet! I’m so flattered that my post inspired you. Honestly I didn’t think too much of it at the time. But now I’m sad when I look back and realize there are so many moments that were never captured. It’s amazing how many women have replied back to share their similar experience. Things need to change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 03:47 PM
31

Truth! I’ve read some great articles about how senior women have 0 desire to remarry, because men their age are looking for a “nurse or a purse”. They have their own place, own friendships, own hobbies and are very happy with their lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 08:19 PM
134

This happened to me when I had kids. There’s so many pictures of the kids with my ex-husband/their dad, and barely any of me with the kids. My ex never thought to take pictures of me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 07:44 PM
39

That is genius.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 07:40 PM
20

Yep. Several years ago when I tried OLD this happened to me multiple times. I couldn’t believe they were so cheap they wouldn’t buy me a $3 cup of coffee. Of course the guys were like “I dOn’T wAnT aNy GoLdIgGeRs”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 03:39 AM
126

The “women talk too much” one is so patently false that I can’t believe people still believe it. I’ve had several first dates where the men do nothing but monologue about themselves the entire time, never once asking me a question. If I’m in a meeting with other women coworkers, we’ll have everything discussed and a plan in place within 10-15 minutes. If some of the male coworkers are there? An hour, easily. They have to argue with every (correct) point the women are making. They have to make su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 11:28 PM
34

Yes, I work with a guy like that. Honestly he gets away with it. His long suffering wife and daughters put up with all his behavior. I reported him at work for getting physically in my face and yelling (very unprofessional) and I got written up for reporting it. He’s made several sexist comments to other coworkers and the women get in trouble if they report it. He’s had multiple positions with the company over 25 years because he’s not good at his job so they keep transferring him around-but the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 04:46 PM
20

Yes, that’s so true! Like, where’s your pride?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 07:39 PM
32

Aww thank you! Very sweet of you to say. Honestly the most frustrating part for me is to watch how many people bail him out. For years his rich parents paid his way (an apartment, a car, paid off his credit card every month, etc) so he could continue to dodge child support. Then around 2012 he married the biggest Pickmeisha EVER. She comes from money and works a well-paying job. She has bought a gorgeous house, nice cars, expensive furniture, etc. and required nothing of him. So he lives a lavis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 07:38 PM
50

My oldest kids father did this! He was studying to be a doctor. Once he found out about the pregnancy he dropped out and has worked part time as a tutor (paid in cash by his students) ever since. He pays the absolute minimum child support since he has hardly any income. This has been going on for 14 years now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 06:36 PM
85

150 lbs in 2 years?! That’s more than I weigh total. It seems like there are more men “letting themselves go” after getting into relationships than women. Obviously this is just what I’m witnessing-so it’s circumstantial. The fact that you’re a power lifter is awesome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:02 AM
109

This is so true. I’ve had women friends that will call and vent about something for 15 minutes straight - but then be like “oh man, I’m being so selfish, how are you?” Then they’ll listen. The men I know will vent forever and then when I try to say something about myself they’ll pull the “well I gotta go...”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 12:37 PM
2

Oh I NEED to see this show....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 06:34 PM
3

Yes! Ugh it’s so good ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 05:53 PM
208

This was my ex-husband to a T. He pulled a bait and switch on me. He kept his place spotless then once we got married turned into the biggest slob you’ve ever seen. Would literally throw food wrappers and empty pop cans on the floor for me to pick up. I begged/coMuNiCaTed/nagged and even went to a marriage therapist to try and get through to him. He just didn’t care. Everyone said to leave the chores and he would eventually do it. No he would not. One time I let things sit and the dishes got mol…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:17 AM
23

I’m with you on this one. Unfortunately after my ex and I got married he immediately buzzed all his hair off. Besides that my type is tall and thin. I’m thin but quite short so it always makes for an interesting pairing. A deep voice is a definite bonus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:04 AM
5

That’s ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 09:27 PM
3

Wait, you got shamed?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 06:16 PM
9

You’re right about the overspending, but I do enjoy watching them open several gifts-they get so excited! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 04:39 PM
12

My dad is also turning 70. I feel the same exact way. The closest I get to someone cooking for me is going to a potluck (where I still have to bring a dish) or ordering takeout (that I still have to go get and pay for-kids can’t drive yet). Honestly I feel like meal planning/cooking/cleaning is such an under rated chore. A LOT of work goes into it. What do you think?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 04:35 PM
88

This is so true. Unfortunately I’ve found out that if I don’t plan/handle all the holidays for my kids - it won’t happen. Easter? I’m the one that provides the eggs and prizes, and I cook the meal. Christmas? I get the stocking stuffers, multiple presents (wrapped), cook a nice dinner, etc. Last year he got them one present each in a plastic store bag. When we were married my stocking was always empty because he never bothered to get me anything. My youngest got so upset about this that she now …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 12:46 PM
116

My divorced dad just gave a list of items to cook for him when “I get a chance”. I’m a single mom of 2 kids, and I have a house and a full time job. But I’ll get right on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 12:35 PM
22

Or mine! The only solace that I have is that my daughter sees what a gigantic piece of crap her Dad is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 10:49 PM
27

Ooo girl be careful! That sounds an awful lot like “I’m cool with putting all the financial responsibility on your shoulders while I stay at home playing video games” to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 03:10 AM
14

Yes! My ex and some of my own family would make fun of me and call me “uptight” and “prude” when I didn’t want my ex farting around me (on purpose). They kept saying it was a sign of love and that ALL relationships got to that point. I said mine wasn’t ever going to get to that “comfort level”. Explained to my ex he was the one person I needed to be attracted to and nothing turns me off faster than someone ripping ass. He actually stopped after that. Unfortunately he ate terribly so it would jus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 03:03 AM
13

I absolutely love that you aren’t scared to verbally shame LVM for asking you to split the check. Wish I had you as a life coach back in my pickme days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 02:42 AM
18

My mom never taught me to cook. I bought recipe books, watched The Food Network and multiple YouTube videos until I learned. They’re just being lazy (I know you know this).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 02:55 PM
3

Wait, really? I hate that I missed that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 02:25 AM
39

Can we add that women do not “always win/have an unfair advantage” in court concerning custody and divorce like they always claim we do? Multiple studies show that they are more likely to get custody if they ask for it. And women do worse financially after divorce than the LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 02:17 AM
11

From what some people have said, they were shocked that I still wear my hair long “at my age”. Whatever the F that means.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 11:12 AM
3

That’s awesome that you’re your own boss, congrats!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 11:11 AM
9

Thank you. I appreciate the support. Did you switch career paths? I’ve seen A LOT of women leave tech due to the sexism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 01:12 AM
18

You’re in tech too? So am I. The good ole boys club is still VERY STRONG in technology departments. Leaving my current job because my boss is extremely sexist, who had no business being promoted into his role. He was one write up from getting fired and then he was suddenly made boss....how does that make sense? Anyways, my male senior coworker pawns all his work off on me, calls it “training”, and continues to make over DOUBLE what I do (salary wise). They refuse to give me a raise or promotion …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 12:09 AM
32

Dude...I’m almost 40 and have always kept my hair long, it’s my preference. The amount of LVM’s that come up to me and say “I’m so glad you kept your hair long” is amazing. I didn’t do it for you! 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:51 PM
3

That sounds very interesting! Would love to read it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:47 PM
9

Thank you so much! The reason I commented was to help encourage you NOT to lower your standards. It’s not worth it. Unfortunately even those people that we think want the best for us can sometimes be wrong, or even just jealous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:00 AM
62

This was my Mom. When I first started dating my standards were HIGH, and I was treated great by my boyfriends. Then she started in on me about how I was too much of a b*tch, that no guy would want me if I kept acting the way I did. When she heard me drawing boundaries with a boyfriend she would jump into his defense and make me out to be the bad guy. I ended up lowering my standards - and wound up married to a man child. Was miserable during my marriage which ended in divorce, just like my Mom. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:21 AM
51

That’s how I found this sub. After my life experience and marriage, I told my friends that I felt marriage was a scam for women. It seemed to entirely benefit men. They’d all just laugh like I was joking - I wasn’t. Went on a mission to find other women who felt the same way I did. Now this sub continues to open my mind and eyes more every day. My marriage was like being an indentured servant. I look around at my friends and they are incredibly successful, hard working, and considerate. All but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 07:44 PM
40

I couldn’t agree with you more. Done it twice, it was terrible both times. Had something called hyperemesis gravidarum, which is uncontrollable all day “morning” sickness. Got under 100 lbs, had to be hooked up to IVs for liquids. The labors were rough. The kids sucked until they hit about 5 years old. Now that they are tween/teen age they are my favorite people in the whole world. They bring me so much happiness. But it was a long, rough road.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 02:33 AM
111

That’s one of the things that just amazes me lately. Women are now expected to hold a job and contribute to the household, on top of chores/pregnancy/child rearing/cooking/etc. But what are men expected to do? If we want a man to have a job or his own place we’re called “gold diggers”. In the past men were at least expected to provide for their families financially. Somehow that responsibility has now been offloaded onto women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:36 PM
1

I saw a video of Jason Momoa being way too touchy with a little girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 12:55 PM
1

Wow, your dad was ...busy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 04:00 AM
3

Ok, that’s helpful information. Thank you so much for your time and knowledge! Truly appreciate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 05:25 PM
14

You just made me realize how dumb I’ve been in the past (as if I didn’t already know). That strategy never occurred to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 02:11 AM
2

I’ll try that. Thanks again for your support-and I couldn’t agree with you more-they are most definitely assholes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:41 AM
9

I’m sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately it seems all too common that men ditch their first family/kids from previous relationships when they start dating someone new. May I ask how your relationship is with your dad now?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:07 AM
20

Oh man, I’m going through that right now! Both my exes agreed to let me claim the kids on my taxes because it massively lowered their monthly child support AND I got it written into the custody agreement. Now that the stimulus checks have come out they are BIG MAD and keep telling me they should get half. One is thousands behind on child support, the other stays part time employed under the table in order to pay the bare minimum. Forgive me if I don’t feel sorry for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:57 PM
10

Thank you for your support. She’s tried not watching the kids and one got hurt (small bump, nothing major) and she got into major trouble. They’ll literally just hand her the kids and leave the house, or go into their room and take a nap. I was hoping/wondering if the courts would take her seriously at this age. Unsure of what age they get a say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:03 PM
30

This is one of the best threads I’ve seen on this sub, it’s filled with great advice. Number 2 is so depressingly true. I’ve got 2 kids with different fathers. I can say with confidence the dads care infinitely more about themselves than our kid. They’ll spend time with our kid IF it benefits them in some way and they actively avoid paying child support. I would like your opinion on the situation with my oldest (14 years old). Her dad is a selfish narcissist that did the absolute bare minimum wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:14 AM
2

I completely agree. It just astounds me that they don’t have the concept of staying in your own league/lane. I would never chase after a 20-something year old hot guy, as a 38 year old divorced mother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 04:42 PM
25

This is so true. I’m no super beauty, I’m average. But I work hard to stay in shape and take good care of myself (makeup/hair). There is a coworker at my job who will not stop hitting on me. He’s 15 years older than me. He’s hugely overweight, weighs at least 300 lbs if not more. He makes $35k/year in a low level position. He gets mad every time I turn him down. He legitimately doesn’t seem to understand why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 01:02 AM
18

That’s one of the most psychopathic things I’ve ever heard someone say....WOW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:55 PM
10

I’m the same age and it’s my neck that’s reflecting the worldly experience. Got that stretchy look and some wrinkles mixed in. Oh well....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 04:47 AM
4

Had to look it up, what a beautiful cat. He sounds hilarious. We have a Russian Blue. My youngest daughter wanted a cat for years and I said no. On her birthday this gray cat (her favorite color) shows up on our porch and immediately takes to her. We left for a birthday celebration and returned 6 hours later, and he was sitting on the porch waiting for her. He’s never left since. (before anyone gives me grief I posted several “found” ads, checked for microchip and collar, and asked all the neigh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 05:14 PM
8

The fact that your cat shrieks when you get home is ADORABLE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:43 PM
89

This is exactly how I felt about my ex-husband. He was 2x the burden that the kids were. The kids would clean up after themselves, they would assist with household chores, and my favorite, if I was sick they would be empathetic and help out more/order a pizza. My ex would throw a tantrum if I was sick and then pretend to be sicker than I was. It’s funny, I’ve been saying for a long time that marriage is a scam for women. The women younger than me are aghast, the women my age are like “meh”, and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 05:40 PM
29

I have a lot to say about this subject. Number one, why are boomers surprised? There is absolutely no support for moms in the U.S. No paid maternity leave, no daycare assistance, no medical assistance, and no support system. Add in the fact that the cost of everything has gone through the roof while wages haven’t-most can’t afford to have kids. As a mom, I have to say I’m proud of Millenial and Gen Z for making their own decisions and not being pressured into having kids. Because I can almost gu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 04:04 PM
8

What you’re saying is entirely accurate, I’ve also experienced it myself. You’ll still hear criticism after they’re born. The one I hear the most is “why have kids if you let someone else raise them” because they were in daycare so I could work. Do evenings/weekends/holidays not count toward parenting? The bright side-being a Mom is the best thing I ever did. It’s difficult at times but I absolutely love it. Congrats on the pregnancy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 03:39 PM
8

Thank you for your support. Yeah, she’s a teenager. She should be out with her friends, doing homework, or drawing in her sketch pad. Not being a mother to the child they choose to adopt (and yes, I see the irony in the fact he abandoned his biological child and then was allowed to adopt someone else’s kid )
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 09:51 PM
16

This is happening to my oldest daughter and I feel so helpless. Due to shared custody she’s over at her dads quite often. He’s actually remarried with a toddler, my daughter is required to watch her the entire time she’s over there. She’s their built in nanny. She also does a majority of their chores. They treat her like Cinderella. I’ve tried speaking to them about it and they deny. He completely abandoned us when she was a baby and toddler-but now he’s fighting for more custody. Why? Because i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 03:55 PM
29

Wow, this was my ex husbands playbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 06:08 PM
8

Just curious, is it normally the daughters that step up to take care of mom vs. the sons? Or is it equal?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 04:23 AM
28

My ex husband did the same thing. He let the dishes sit so long they molded and got maggots in them. I had to throw them all away. It made me realize how little he cared about me or the kids. The mold made us sick but him not having to do chores was worth all that. We divorced shortly afterward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 04:08 AM
14

He knew exactly what he was doing. Backing you into a corner is all about intimidation and “proving” he’s the one in control. So glad to hear he’s an ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 01:26 AM
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