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whosthatgirlits Archive

View 0 posts and 34 comments by whosthatgirlits on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Laura doesn’t condone abuse. She acknowledges that some women want to make their marriage work even when some men have behaved in very flawed ways, like cheating. She has said numerous times that if your man is a good man (not a cheater/liar/abuser) then these skills are meant for you. LD skills have personally helped my marriage do a 180. My husband has always been a great man, but our communication skills have not always been great. I tend to overcommunicate while he undercommunicates when the…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/22 11:04 PM
4

Came here to recommend this! Her book and podcast can absolutely change everything for OP & her marriage. Hoping she downloads the audiobook or orders a copy today! 🙏
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/22 01:41 AM
8

If you aren’t crazy head over heels for him before marrying him, I don’t think it suddenly will improve when you add the reality of the ups and downs of marriage. Just because he is a good “high value” man doesn’t mean he’s the man for you. Speaking as someone who married a man who was crazy about me and I was “meh” about him. I was finally brutally honest with myself and realized I made a huge mistake. Biggest regret, to put it lightly. Don’t settle and make the same mistake I did. Luckily we d…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 01:59 AM
2

I know what you mean- I was just like that! I had some things I kind of liked but nothing that I felt passionate about, or lit up when I talked about it, or nerded out about. I started by making a list of 20 things that I enjoyed on the notes in my phone. Like small things are fine- for example: favorite cup of tea, listening to a certain type of music and dancing, taking a relaxing bath with essential oils. I try to do 3 small things everyday that bring me joy. Pretty quickly I became more in t…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 02:42 AM
5

I just want to say thank goodness you are out of that relationship! This ex sounds extremely controlling. I also want to ensure you- my husband is a a high value man, an incredible leader who takes charge of our finances, is an awesome provider, and he has zero control issues. I am free to be myself, dress how I want, post what I want, be around who I want. He has never made me feel controlled. I listen to his thinking and because I respect it I often find myself doing things he would appreciate…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 05:37 PM
3

Ouch, that situation does sounds very painful and I’m so sorry. Why do you think you’ve never dated or been pursued? How is your self care and what are your hobbies? What are your interests, and what makes you light up inside and outside? When you are in a state of “goddess of fun and light”, men will be drawn to you. These questions are a good start in working toward becoming the kind of woman that will attract the kind of man you are interested in.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 12:27 PM
18

Read The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle. I can tell what happened here- he felt criticized and became defensive. Laura gives you skills to express your desires without criticizing him. ETA: no, he’s not manipulating you. He is probably extremely confused and hating conversations about this topic and likely regretting having said anything to you about your feminity or lack thereof.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 11:44 AM
1

He chose you for a reason. You are his top choice, number one pick, he even said you’re the “love of his life”. His heart message is that he loves you and wants you to feel secure. From what I can tell, even though he said one thing that didn’t feel particularly great, you have nothing to worry about with him! I keep recommending this book, because it helped me stop creating needless emotional turmoil for myself in my marriage… The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle. She also has a podcast and will g…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/22 04:16 PM
59

You will still be a catch at 32 as much as you are at 29. I met my husband when I was 33 and he was 31. He later told me he knew immediately after our first date that he would want to marry me. He’s a leader, fit, handsome, amazing at his job, a protector, a man of character and integrity, and wanted kids at the same time that I did. We have 2 toddlers now. Please don’t let your fear of feeling like you’ll never find anyone because of your age keep you settling for less than you deserve.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/22 02:22 AM
4

Seems like you really care about this man, and that you believe he is worth the effort you’ve been putting into him. Even though you’re not a wife, I would recommend reading The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle. She also has a podcast that is very motivating and inspiring. She will give you skills you can start implementing immediately to start improving your relationship without your man’s conscious effort. Plus, the first skill is taking self care seriously, so that’s going to be a positive no ma…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/22 12:26 AM
3

Oh girl yes it is so easy to get caught up in what society is pushing on us! I am 38 now but I spent my 20s and early 30s buying what feminism is pushing. I am lucky I changed my thinking - many of my peers are unhappy, bitter, unmarried, and financially successful “girl bosses”. You can still be great at your job and be feminine and a high value woman that a high value man is attracted to. It all comes down to your values and priorities. You are so young to be getting clear on these things and …
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 02:19 PM
1

Hmm let me brainstorm. First, you can treat it like a job. There is an app called FlyLady that can help you get super organized with the housework. You can watch YouTube videos on folding laundry by Marie Kondo and get everything super organized. You can plan your meals for the week, start learning about sourdough starter and baking your own bread. It is so much fun to learn and also makes the house smell amazing. (There are Facebook groups on almost every subject and I’ve learned so much from t…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 02:10 PM
3

You are absolutely high value!! First of all you’re incredibly cute in my eyes! Sidenote: My husband (an attractive, fit, loyal, alpha man) has dated women I didn’t think were very cute and had some features I didn’t find appealing, but he was drawn to them for other reasons and he was very attracted to them. (This is all superficial and not really the point of my reply, but wanted to cover that first because it seems to be your focus right now. Your future spouse WILL find you physically attrac…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 01:54 PM
51

This woman needs to take responsibility for communicating with her husband. I would be willing to bet he wants to please her sexually. He may not know that the “jackhammer” doesn’t feel good to her. She needs to take responsibility for her side of things too. The way she speaks about her husband is incredibly disrespectful and I would imagine there are a lot of underlying issues (caused unintentionally by her) and this talk about her displeasure with their sex life is just the tip of the iceberg…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 01:42 PM
17

Aww I’m sorry you went through this. I know it never feels good to hurt the man you love. A genuine apology for your behavior is a great start. Also just thanking him for specific things that he did and the way he handled everything can go a long way for making him feel appreciated and seen. Yes as another comment said- come up with a game plan to not treat him like that again. Is it possible in your budget to get your hormones checked? Moodiness is one thing, but this sounds like a little bit w…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 03:32 AM
1

From my POV: A woman should adore her man. She should respect him, support him, build him up. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Apologize when wrong. Not criticize him. Be his biggest cheerleader and believe he is capable and her hero. When a woman shows up like this in a relationship a man steps into his best potential. On top of that, she should know her own values… some of mine are personal responsibility and valuing hard work, to be kind to everyone I encounter, try to see the beauty in eve…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 12:27 AM
3

I watched Marie Kondo’s folding video on YouTube and now my drawers looks so nice and organized so I have changed my mindset to take pride in my organizational skills now. Her technique for folding is very soothing, calming, almost meditative. I have also started listening to a good audiobook while folding.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/22 05:20 PM
2

Do not fear! I was 33 when I met my younger “very high value” (now) husband. A high value man will be attracted to your values, confidence, and zest for life. Sounds like you are in a mental rut right now, but you CAN get out of it. If you need help getting out, read The Empowered Wife. You don’t have to be married to get skills from it. It will help you prioritize your self care, and help you have the skills to be the kind of woman a high value man is attracted to. Sending you hugs!
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/22 05:14 PM
1

I think there are certain skills that would be really helpful, other than self-care. Something like spouse fulfilling prophecies about how well he takes care of you and always make sure that all your needs are met, other things like that. Some thing that will trigger his hero gene, as Laura calls it. Also expressing gratitude for when he does show up the way that you want him to. Just brainstorming some ideas.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/22 06:49 PM
9

You are not being unreasonable. It sounds like you need some skills to communicate your desires to your husband. He is probably a good man, or you wouldn’t have married him. Growing pains in a marriage like this are real and they CAN be worked through. I cannot recommend the book The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle highly enough. She will give you the perspective and the skills you need to communicate without it costing you emotional intimacy. You can get through this and he will show up as your h…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 07:11 PM
1

One of the best books I’ve ever read is called the empowered wife by Laura Doyle. You don’t have to be married to read it, and it will help you get in touch with your desires, and then you can get a lot of clarity and know how to express your desires in a way that inspires behavior from the man that you are with.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 07:02 PM
2

I love that you know what your interests and desires are. I also love this update. Not that he was a weirdo, but that you aren’t feeling comfortable and are therefore exiting the relationship. 👏 I work out 2-4 x a week, lifting weights. I am 38, have 2 toddlers, my husband is incredibly fit and actively encourages me to get my workouts in by making sure I have time, paying for a personal trainer after i expressed interest in that, and watching our children alone on the weekends for a couple hour…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/22 02:48 PM
1

I love this story! Thank you for sharing here. I would love to hear about what other staples you have in your wardrobe. I had never seen the particular links you shared, but I really loved the outfit you described so I ordered one for myself. Thanks again! Teamwork makes the dream work 😂
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/22 12:32 AM
2

To have a happy marriage, the first step is realizing that you hold a lot more power than you realize for setting the tone in everything that happens. Has your fiancé expressed interest in reading a book, or is this something that you have decided would be good for your marriage? I ask because I used to think I needed my husband to learn things so he could grow so that we would be happier. The more I focus on myself and what I need to do to be the wife and woman I strive to be, the happier my hu…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/22 07:12 PM
2

For us, I don’t have a “budget” per se, I just try to use good judgment when shopping. My husband is in charge of everything else and I can spend as I please. If it’s a big purchase of course I’ll run it by him by saying, “If love to get xyz.” He will either say “go for it” or will ask more questions and we will go from there. So it’s way less stress for me!
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/22 04:15 PM
3

I love Laura Doyle & have read The Empowered Wife. My marriage is happier now than ever! To answer your question, my husband is in charge of the finances (all bills, investments, auto payments, etc.) and I still am in charge of grocery shopping. I would just stick to the budget you’re using now. Ask him to tell you if he thinks you don’t have a lot of wiggle room if needed, but other than that I really never have to worry about what I spend at the store. It makes life a lot easier for us having …
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/22 01:52 AM
4

I agree, get out of that living situation ASAP. You need time alone to heal. Do lots of self care and find yourself again. (If I were you I’d stay in the city that you enjoy being in, but that’s very personal and something only you can decide.) Do lots of self care. Have you read The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle? It will help you not only communicate better in future relationships but also to make sure you are taking care of yourself and enjoying life again. Breakups are so hard, but you are go…
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/22 03:13 PM
5

It is definitely worth it to learn skills to be a respectful woman. You always have the option to say your opinion if it differs from your partner , even though you know it can effect the intimacy. Also, remember to practice stating your desires in a way that inspires “I would love xyz” is a very healthy way to honor yourself. Make sure you are doing your self care (and own hobbies that interest you) so you don’t lose yourself getting caught up in what you think your man might want. He will be d…
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/22 02:18 PM
1

I’m so glad the apology opened the door for a healthy communication about what happened! The “ouch” is an incredibly helpful tool for me and my husband. He knows what it means; even a toddler does! It gives him time for his conscience to get a hold of him. I never have to explain myself or “why what he did was wrong/hurtful”. Me explaining myself never led to the results I was hoping for anyway. “Ouch” with all the other skills (especially self care and gratitude /spouse fulfilling prophecies) w…
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/22 02:13 PM
1

You’re welcome! I love that you just picked up her book! It sounds like you are on the right track. I really admire you for your self-awareness and ability to reflect on yourself and your shortcomings and make a change where you feel that a change is needed. The Empowered Wife (book and especially podcast) helped me more than I can explain! Hope it helps you as well. I’d love to hear how it goes for you! I think of implementing “the skills” as small experiments to see if they work or not. It has…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/22 01:12 PM
16

This sounds hurtful. I also hate feeling criticized. After reading and listening to the podcasts, both by the same title, The Empowered Wife, I started implementing all the skills into my marriage and it’s made a huge positive difference for both of us. With the knowledge I now have from that, it seems as though you are being “too helpful”. This translates to disrespect to a lot of men. Sounds weird at first, but it has checked out multiple times in my own life and for women on the podcast I men…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/22 12:53 AM
2

I also had a great upbringing with loving parents. I strayed from the traditional path and bought into what feminism is currently pushing: that we need to want careers and want to be completely independent from a man. “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” (Insert eye rolling emoji at myself here) As I got older I realized I wasn’t being true to myself, and I really deep down desired a strong man and a traditional marriage. Luckily I found my wonderful husband and 34 and we fell in l…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/22 10:31 PM
1

Also weird, my newer username is jesszeemess and older one was whosthatgirlits. (Both these comments are me 😂)
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/22 10:05 PM
2

I used to struggle with this too. Laura Doyle has helped me relinquish control in a lot of aspects of my life. I was basing my happiness on how my husband handled each situation. I was constantly focusing on how he wasn’t communicating well or was letting me down. I have learned to notice when I “have my eyes on his paper”. Like in school, your teacher tells you to “keep your eyes on your own paper. You’re responsible for yourself.” It is easy to get caught up in wanting someone to act different…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/22 10:03 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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