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View 4 posts and 319 comments by woadsky on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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64

I miss having the community here. I tried twice to sign up on the FDS website but it never happened so I gave up. Figured I'd just have to wing it out in the dating world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/22 02:36 PM
624

So he asked her for a store, she said Sephora, and he went to Victoria's Secret for lingerie (the main gift). Sephora was the secondary gift (eyelashes? hers aren't good enough?). Now if she doesn't at the very least model the lingerie for him that makes her ungrateful. The whole "gift" has been sexualized. He could have skipped the lingerie, got her an amazing gift basket from Sephora of body/skincare/makeup, wrapped it in a pink box, and attached some sunflowers or give a sunflower card if he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 10:32 PM
31

Agreed about the games/smoking/drinking. That actually repulses me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 07:10 AM
37

I've had two men tell me they love me, and then leave. One told me he "didn't love me enough". Thanks a lot.... so you told me you loved me but the ending of the sentence was silent! This guy thinks he knows what he wants (described in detail and so selfishly) but I think if he had what he thinks he wants he wouldn't like that either. He is cryptonite and has addictive behaviors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 07:08 AM
29

It's the opposite of conversing in a joining way -- it is divisive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 10:49 PM
21

This isn't the point I know. The whole thing is sickening and infuriating. One takeaway is to never leave an open drink for even a second when on a date with an unknown person or in a club. I don't know if drugs can be added to food but ditto if yes. Once she was incapacitated that was it -- she couldn't yell or fight back. The other early red flag was that he showed up with a friend aka rapist buddy. At that point end the date immediately, go to the lobby and stand near someone, and call for a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 02:23 PM
115

Exactly. He has no reason to commit -- he's getting all the benefits of commitment without the legal responsibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 12:39 AM
13

Yes, I'm weary of it as well. I get worked up, take time to type a comment, and then get mad at myself for giving my time to someone who probably won't change anything. The posts just keep coming..... I guess if my words help one woman that is significant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 06:48 PM
20

As for what to tell others, I imagine it will be different with different people and trust levels. When my ex bf and I split, I told people "we parted ways". That way it didn't identify who left whom. For people who are closer you could add "My feelings changed; I didn't feel comfortable anymore" etc. If people start asking questions you don't want to answer it's perfectly ok to say I'd rather not discuss it right now. As for what to tell him, I personally don't agree with not telling him anythi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 02:07 PM
40

Sometimes I wonder if some of these men want the dopamine hit of a woman responding to his gaze. Almost like notches on the bedpost.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 10:00 PM
66

Yikes. You may have dodged a very bad situation. Have you ever read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker? There is an example of a man insistent on helping a woman with her groceries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 09:44 PM
33

Oh how I wish I had heeded this with my ex bf. At around the four month mark we went to a party. I was seated next to him and he stared, and stared, and stared at a woman across the room for what felt like a solid five minutes. I wish I had calmly gotten up and gone into the kitchen to talk with others (especially men), or gotten up and collected my coat and told him I had a headache I want to go home. As it was I asked him about it later and he said he "didn't realize he was doing that". Oh I t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 09:38 PM
47

I was younger and I didn't know how to get out of the situation. My boss's boss had divorced a few months before. I was leaving employment soon and he wanted to take me out to dinner as a goodbye. I was uneasy with it and suggested lunch but he insisted on dinner to which I agreed. After dinner he drove me home (my roommate was gone) and he said he needed to use the bathroom. Damn. It's nighttime and now he wants to come in. I had no idea how to get out of that so again I agreed. It was a somewh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 03:02 AM
47

It does! It's as if to not be a disappointment, to be attentive to a woman and try to give her what she needs would be considered wimpy and not manly and therefore he would lose respect in the eyes of other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 04:56 PM
17

I think as much as we want to believe our intuition will tell us (and it usually does if we're listening) sometimes we can be fooled. Sociopaths can be charming, look you straight in the eye while they lie, and have charisma which most find attractive. That's why it's so important to follow basic safety rules. Meet in a public place for several dates, don't tell him your address/phone number/even full name until you feel very comfortable, keep vetting, etc. When you meet his friends and family l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 01:19 PM
57

Rather than take responsibility for how he feels and express it, it is a criticism of you. Rather than say "I feel frustrated/sad/bewildered because I'd like for us to be closer" it is somehow your fault for being who you are. He's also not starting out with a question "When you respond such-and-such a way, does that mean you would prefer to not tell me more about _____"? Instead he starts with a criticism which of course shuts everything down. I'd be tempted to reply with a question "I open up …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 04:36 PM
22

Lies upon lies upon lies. I am so sorry this happened to you. Hoping to be friends? The audacity to even ask. His manipulations are so transparent and he thinks you don't see it! The guy is delusional on top of being scum. Light and healing to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 04:20 PM
68

Exactly. Because they will be wusses if they follow a woman's advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 11:45 PM
22

Women and girls need to be given messages and role models that convey the concepts that independence, travel, financial stability, and fulfillment in life are worthy and important goals. Instead we see time and time again that women are sexual objects, and that the goal is a husband and children. To be alone and single is to be stigmatized, whereas women need resources and images of alternate ways of living in the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 05:35 PM
20

For some men it may be code for "passionate about sex". That is my first thought when I hear the word passion. They're bringing up sex without using the word. Or, a bit more indirectly, perhaps they may think if a woman is passionate about her interests then she'll be passionate in the bedroom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 01:19 PM
130

I like your binary choice. This post was a very helpful description at what HV looks like. High value should be a partner who is loving and attentive and cares.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 10:09 AM
24

This is appalling. Now she knows where his priorities are. I wonder what red flags were there before this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 03:05 PM
14

An excellent post. Thank you; I may have to pass it along someday. Life certainly is not fair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 02:03 AM
10

Level up everyone to stay out of this desperation hellhole! It is essential to have an independent good-enough income.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 09:14 PM
34

I'm old school and I've read the post and all the comments and this is frightening. Cameras are everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 09:54 AM
31

Yeah, he's a loser. Do you have anyone else you can ask for help or even a phone call for some conversation? I've always been one to resist asking for help but I think it's a good thing to do if one is in a tough situation. You deserve care and support, even if you have to ask for it from trusted individuals. I once had a difficult recovery following a surgery and talked with a male friend who was a physician. He ended the conversation with "give me a call when you feel better"....and I was thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 03:36 AM
5

I agree with very light interest, like eye contact and a smile. Though in my experience even when I wasn't even aware of the man he found a way to make himself known to me by doing something appropriate like saying "hi" or coming into my orbit to test the waters. I edited my comment a bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 03:20 PM
40

Agreed. If he wanted to, he would. This goes for making the first move and showing too much interest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 08:34 PM
19

You sound mentally strong and emotionally mature, even when you were much younger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 06:45 PM
23

Wow. What an ass, and a dangerous one at that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 06:24 PM
2

ASSO = Aggression Soon after Signing On?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 02:22 PM
38

She set a boundary and he decided to stomp on it, fully-planned, in an overt show of dominance and aggression. He started asserting his self-involved "superiority" minutes after the ceremony, didn't he? Good for her for decisively taking action for what and who she wants in her life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 10:48 PM
81

I avoid going out alone in the evening. When I watch the news I make a mental note of when the particular crime happened and almost always it's in the evening or night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 12:24 AM
13

This is about control. First he tries to get you to tell him you want something for your birthday (therefore he holds the power because now you stated you want something from him), then he pushes your boundary and gets you a gift he knows you wouldn't want so that he can exert dominance i.e. "nobody is going to tell me what to get (or not get) as a gift".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 08:26 AM
84

Yes, definite red flag for me. If I show a man a project or hobby I'm passionate about and they are lackluster, silent, or worse, I take note of that. Probably a deal breaker unless I start to understand why and it isn't hurtful to me. But it's probably a hurtful neg. I've been told playing my (standard) musical instrument was "weird", and I've encountered silence and staying a few feet away when showing a hobby. I've found that women can be critical too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 11:56 PM
89

Bad teeth. An irritating voice that is whiny, or nasally, or spasmodic, or many other things. I love a nice voice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 09:04 PM
25

This might be too personal, but how did you manage the physical side of dating more than one man e.g. kissing, hugging, sex, etc.? Or if he wanted to date others that included sexual activity? Congratulations on your beautiful courtship and engagement!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 04:50 AM
12

A timer!! How insulting and humiliating and a display of not loving the OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 04:38 PM
20

I was just thinking about this fear earlier today, and my conclusion was it is vital to have a variety of support systems in place if/when one is partnered, because one will never know what the future holds. I encourage women to have one's own bank account with a growing savings account, have a way to earn money, become educated about financial literacy, hold a variety of friends and activities outside of our primary relationship, practice self-care that promotes health, and promote anything els…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 08:17 PM
36

My ex used to wear socks with holes in them, and once a T shirt to a dressy party. It always bothered me that he put so little effort in to looking nice for a date. I was tempted to do the same when on a date with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 01:48 PM
3

He put you on the defensive time and time again which is not nice at all. Please know you can always say you never disclose where you live until you know someone well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 06:26 AM
79

"We were just sharing a tent. Nothing happened".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 11:20 PM
46

I'm older and single and have strong preferences for how I want my home to look. I am an artist, so design and colors matter to me. I've heard of LAT - Living Apart Together - and this appeals to me. Yes, the more I think about partnership, the more living separately appeals to me. Perhaps a side by side duplex. Another piece of LAT is that (in a man/woman relationship) the woman, especially, doesn't necessarily want the legal ties. If her husband becomes infirm, his family will look to her for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 10:48 PM
42

I'm older, a lot older, and never married. I thought I wanted marriage but reddit and FDS has really opened my eyes. I'm doing fine on my own. Yes, I'd love a HV man, but I'm still doing fine on my own. Also, I've noticed when I read historical biographies about successful men who were fine artists often there was a wife in the background who was holding it all together with home, meals, childcare, etc. She was the reason that he had the space and time and well-being to devote to creativity. Thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 11:20 PM
14

Thank you for taking the time to write these out. I've ignored multiple red flags too so you're not alone. While they're all huge, refusal to go to couples therapy is a HUGE one. I've asked for that with boyfriends and even a relative. They all said no. Our relationships are ended or strained and minimal. Now, once someone says no, I mentally check out. I don't badger. Nothing can improve if one person isn't even open to getting help together. What a lack of effort and a huge tell!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 11:05 PM
29

What were the red flags, if you don't mind describing? This sounds so unnerving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 02:20 PM
7

Wow. I'm never ever going to India.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 11:10 PM
32

Please keep posting and keep that reality front and center. Thank you for posting. I heard about a young women (from a grieving mom) who had a boyfriend, and was also friends with a man from what was I think a highly misogynistic country. He kept trying to advance the relationship and she resisted. Finally she and her boyfriend made it clear to him that her relationship with this guy was strictly friendship only. Then he killed her. In his country it may be that that is how honour works and that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 09:31 AM
7

Thank you for reminding us of this, and how lucky some of us are to live in a country where we can take action and change our situations if needed. I hate that women have it so rough in some cultures, to the point of possible death if they stand up for themselves. It is sickening. Woman from such deeply misogynist cultures deserve respect for what they do to stay alive, rather than be labeled as a pick-me. Let's support each other and avoid judging others. Perhaps some here would be interested i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 09:27 AM
3

He kissed by literally sticking his tongue out so our tongues were touching and moving but lips weren't touching. It was so ick. I went along with it because I froze and didn't know how to decline. Ugh. He was a nice guy but I don't understand the kiss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 07:20 AM
14

Reading all of these stories leaves me feeling petty as hell, and wanting to reciprocate in kind (as long as it's not considered assault). This is such bullshit. Communicating about this and setting boundaries with men doing this crap won't work. The only thing that works is exiting the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 09:59 PM
26

Yes, it seems to be cultural conditioning to dislike women. If a man treats a woman well, then he's considered a wimp. So to validate his masculinity he has to cut women down. It's really messed up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 09:56 PM
18

That's awful and so immature. Glad you are away from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 06:11 PM
25

How do you do this if he goes first and goes right in? Do you stand outside and wait for him to notice you're not behind him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 04:14 PM
40

It's passive-aggressive bs, which I'm sure you know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 03:59 PM
8

Lipstick on his collar and it's not yours. Changes his appearance i.e. more focused on his clothes, hairstyle/cut, goes to gym, etc. Changes his habits i.e. arrives home later than usual, blocks of time you can't account for where he is. Any change in general is something to take note of. Your intuition: if something seems off that feeling is worth paying attention to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 02:49 PM
7

One piece of this is the suppression of women and their bodily functions. Needing to pee is a very natural act for any human and yet he's furious about it? That is the true embodiment of not being accepted for who you are. I hope she leaves him because it is a cold and unreasonable response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 07:25 AM
4

This is quite the uniform. Right down to the elasticized top of briefs peeking out about an inch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 06:45 AM
10

Even if she was bald he has no right to rifle through her belongings for the towel, remove her towel, or try to control her towel. How rude and how insecure of him to think that her bringing her towel is weird. He's also clueless about hair care for women. Lovely combination: clueless and controlling. I hope she leaves him and leaves the towels behind for his -- ahem -- solo activities. God I hate such jerky, stupid, disrespectful men who think they know better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 08:08 AM
11

"grabbing me by the neck of my sweatshirt".........this part gave me chills. First it's the sweatshirt, then it's her actual neck. I hope she wakes up and gets out asap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 06:33 AM
3

Yes, it is that simple. What an ass for not even asking you about the show -- that silence says it all, doesn't it? He could have kept the conversation going two ways about art, creativity, etc. At times silence isn't necessarily a bad sign, but I do take note. That was the precursor for whatever he did two days later. The signs are there if we watch for them. That's a tactful and nice thing you said, even if you didn't like the painting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 01:03 AM
18

The nerve of him to post this. I hope she is indignant and livid and leaves him. I am grateful for FDS for opening my eyes to this idea of men staying even though they don't even like or respect their mate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 07:36 PM
9

He can't handle rejection and immaturely lashed out. Good call to end it early.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 06:57 PM
26

I find women neg women as well, especially in the workplace or in a toxic family. There can be constant competition and put downs. I like this post because it's helped me sharpen my response skills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 10:17 PM
12

Yes, it's as if the questions aren't even sincere questions. They are a vehicle for him to get to the part to neg you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 10:14 PM
9

Exactly. I made a similar comment about the silent response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 10:11 PM
65

Exactly. If there is even one criticism on a first date, or even first few dates then it's an auto-no from me. I once dated a man for almost two years who really loved me. He criticized me a total of one time -- and he was right about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 10:10 PM
37

I've been negged by silence and I watch out for it now. Over the years I've had hobbies where I create something and then sometimes sell it. If I show a new romantic interest what my creative outlet is and I'm met with silence I note that. They don't have to like it, but I do appreciate a positive comment even if they don't e.g. "I can see you've worked really hard" or if they can't manage that then questions to show interest. The men who said nothing ended up not being that into me, even after …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 09:40 PM
25

You handled that so well :) I'm going to remember both "okay?" and "you seem confused". I love how you responded with metacommunication in the moment (naming what's going on with the interaction) -- that can be hard to do. Bullet dodged on this one. I find that whenever I am confused in an encounter, be it with a friend or romantic interest, it invariably means there is some kind of yellow or red flag happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 05:27 PM
28

I think this is good practice in dating and in life. Don't keep giving more when other people are consistently putting in less effort. Pull back and focus on your dreams and goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 10:11 PM
7

This reminded me of what happened with a boyfriend a long time ago. We had our picture taken together and when he saw it he didn't like it. (It wasn't anything specific about how he looked, it was more like he didn't like the overall vibe of the two of us). I remember being sad and irritated, but alas I stayed with him for a while after that. Deep down I knew he didn't really like me, let alone love me. I finally -- finally -- broke it off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 07:19 AM
18

So many words but saying very little about himself. He wants ALL of his questions answered -- sounds like an interrogation. So much entitlement. No I'm not going to "follow your lead".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 01:31 PM
43

It takes a certain level of self-entitlement to think that his opinion is even wanted. Gotta love the LOL. I always see that as the "tell" that a neg is coming. I'd be tempted to respond: "Blocked. LOL."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 02:43 PM
124

I started buying myself flowers and it was very freeing to give myself love in this way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 06:41 PM
34

Wow. The audacity that he even considered that a compromise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 03:10 AM
67

I prefer it takes two to make it work, and only one to make it not work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 03:08 AM
44

What a terrible thing to say to you. I am sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 09:57 AM
56

If I am making a new friend, I straight up ask if they would be sharing the personal things I talk about with their husband or anyone else. If they say yes, then I refrain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 09:55 AM
19

That's brutal and so wrong of him to do. He doesn't have integrity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 09:54 AM
64

I once met the mother of a young woman who was killed. She was in a romantic relationship, and also became friendly with another man. He was from another country possibly where women don't have many rights and are treated aggressively. Well, she was getting vibes that he wanted to be more than friends and from what I understand she reiterated (with her boyfriend present) that she wanted to keep it friends only. The guy killed her. I am guessing that it was a violent response to feeling humiliate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 01:58 AM
20

He lies by omission and wraps it up in a pretty bow to make it sound like it's because he cares about her. "Don't drop by unannounced because I want to clean up the dog hair" and "I didn't tell you about my daughter because I didn't want to put pressure on you" are about him protecting himself so he makes sure he benefits, but she's in the dark. He's more sophisticated with his lies than most, but they're still lies. I hope she gets out asap. He is selfish and not transparent. Who knows what els…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 04:21 AM
54

Saved. Thank you for articulating this dynamic so clearly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 09:42 AM
28

Classic deflection and trying to turn this back around on you. Who cares if it's 2 minutes, 2 months, or 2 years? Ideally sooner is better, but there is nothing wrong with taking time to think, or not realizing one feels the way they feel, etc. Did you ever get around to talking with him about said feelings or did he manage to hide from it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 09:39 AM
33

Lying is a dealbreaker for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 06:53 PM
23

This happens with other relationships too. I have a sibling who breaks or ruins my things and never once offered to pay for the item or replace it or even acknowledge that they did it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 04:16 PM
66

Whatever happened to keeping things light and fun, making sure your date is feeling comfortable, using tact, and showing respect. "What do you bring to the table?" is an interrogation question where the person asking has the self-entitlement to even ask. I think I would outright say "I don't answer questions like that".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 03:33 PM
26

This seems like an iteration of cheating...only your sister knows about it rather than having it be behind her back. Their poor son -- this is damaging to his mental health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 12:07 AM
15

If he thinks this is some sexy technique to charm a woman he is very mistaken! So glad you cut him off pronto.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 12:12 AM
27

What is he thinking? Mentioning "perv" and "oral fixation" is not alluring to most women. He seems self-destructive and on some level does not want to date but rather have pervy sex and that's it. He told about himself early so that's good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 11:29 PM
16

You inspire me and give me hope. Thank you for that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 05:03 PM
23

I've found that many men do not know how to do proper foreplay or even how to kiss. It's a rare one in ten or one in twenty that seem to get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 04:48 PM
28

I've found that when both men or women lie, often the voice pitch becomes higher and slightly more upbeat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 08:01 PM
4

He was not listening to you and affirming YOUR experience and belief system. Instead he wanted to run his own agenda and convince you of his point of view. Therapy isn't about arguing points of view. I can see why you'd quit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 08:04 AM
32

Yeah, those criticisms that come after just minutes of first meeting are definitely red flags. It's not going to get better. It's usually something that can be glossed over because in other ways the man is putting his best foot forward. But -- it's there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:14 PM
2

It sounds like he's inspecting a horse at a competition. I counted no less than 26 requirements.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 01:52 AM
8

I think there can be an element of abuse with new age spiritual beliefs such as "you attract what you put out". It blames the person for their entire experience and implies that there is something wrong with the person or they're not putting out the right vibes to the universe if they're getting treated poorly. It can even be taken so far as to blame people for their illnesses. Yes, some illnesses can be enhanced by stress or even caused by stress, but sometimes life is just random and bad thing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 08:26 AM
143

The kiss is important too. Is it sexy, lingering, and turns you on? Or does he smash his lips against yours, grind away, and think that's sexual? I vow to not take the relationship farther if the kiss doesn't work for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 11:23 PM
20

Love this. I need a wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 11:11 PM
35

I once dated someone and about three months in we went to a party. We were sitting next to each other and he pointedly stared at a woman for a solid five minutes. This was my sign to let him go, but I didn't heed it. For whatever reason he didn't want to treat our relationship with care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 08:40 AM
15

I replied below that I truly think the content on screens is purposefully designed to be addictive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 04:33 PM
29

I truly think there is something physiological addictive to any type of screen time purposely developed by these big tech companies. I think the colors, pace of image switching, "likes", the algorithm to keep providing tailored content, etc. is all designed to rope a person in. Something chemically happens in the mind, perhaps a dopamine hit, to keep the recipient coming back and coming back. I also believe it can be overcome. Please know I'm not saying give men a pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 04:27 PM
10

I wouldn't think that using an implement whose utility pushes UP some remaining semen/sperm would be a good idea if a woman doesn't want to get pregnant. I wonder if their product actually increases risk of pregnancy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 03:35 AM
11

I second the comment to change the locks. I don't know the circumstances of him moving out but if he's mad or his pride is hurt you don't know what he's capable of. He's already drugged you, given you a sociopathic stare, and talked of killing a deer with a bow and arrow. I do not trust this guy at all with your safety. Please go to the expense of having your locks changed and be extra vigilant the first few weeks after his departure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 03:10 AM
45

Mixed messages have always been a red flag for me. I'm sorry as this guy seemed to have potential. Maybe there's a reason he wanted to remain friends only for so long (it's not you though!).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 09:09 AM
14

I think it's part entitlement, and part laziness. If they simply swipe and like everyone they don't have to do the work of sifting through bios to see with whom they might be compatible. The cast a wide net first and if anyone shows any interest then they MIGHT show interest back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 09:14 PM
32

Wow. Is he stalking you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 01:42 AM
156

Exactly. Deep down they know they don't want a relationship. It's recreational interaction and only on their terms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 01:40 AM
305

Not only cheap and too familiar with someone he barely knows, but it's dangerous for a women to go to a man's house this early on. He knows this and doesn't care about the impression he's making.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 01:37 AM
12

These women and girls and boys are in so much danger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:38 AM
4

I'm a "boomer woman" in a circle of other women my age and older and not one would condone or excuse rape. Yes we should all continually question status quo and broad brush strokes of generalizing about a generation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:33 AM
29

I dated someone who came to the date with holes in his clothes. He actually seemed to flaunt it. I don't know what that's about but, perhaps, sabotage and anger?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 07:43 AM
4

I love this. I wish for you so much happiness with your fiance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 08:05 PM
44

I'm visual and I am a woman. I'm not going to apologize for wanting -- and needing -- to feel attracted. That said, I've come across men who have such a magnetic and wholesome personality while not being conventionally attractive and I found that my attraction quickly grows! Also, men aren't as "encouraged" as women to take care of themselves (aka pummeled by pressure since birth). When they hit their 30s and beyond their youth can't carry them anymore. Good hygiene, a good haircut, and being we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 07:53 AM
58

I agree with the other commenter that you were their entertainment for the evening. They were enjoying the process of trying to get your age out of you; they banded together over this. There is an undercurrent of misogyny with this, because you were their plaything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 05:57 PM
16

Yes, unforgivable. And on top of that you were saying you wanted one! I'm glad you're ok. What an awful and precarious event.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 01:29 AM
7

It's illegal for a reason. I can't believe your friends don't see the culpability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:07 PM
57

You could have died from the roofie and/or from neglect. Perhaps the club has cameras to determine who did it; at a minimum they should be made aware this is happening. It might be worth calling the police information line to ask what your options are in this situation. I also would drop the friend. That is no friend who does not listen to you. Unacceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:05 PM
20

Chore chicken - ha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 10:57 PM
60

There is an aspect of learned passivity here to which many women are indoctrinated. Yes, he's a LVM. At the same time, we women should claim our power. If he says he wants her to wait three hours in a heat wave until he gets home to fix the A/C, she can say she's not comfortable with that. Then hash it out. She could even leave with her kids to go somewhere cooler. Also, she could have accepted your offer to stay with you for the night even though her LVM wouldn't "let" her. I don't mean for my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:32 AM
145

Listen to your gut. He's very, very pushy at best. That birthday party ploy to get your number, along with offering handyman repairs would creep me out. If he shows up at your door, DO NOT OPEN IT. Talk with him through the door, or don't answer. Carry a personal alarm with you and have it handy. Perhaps discreetly ask the neighbors about him, and also look him up online. You could even hire a private investigator to do a search on him to see what comes up. It could be well worth it just to have…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 05:48 AM
4

I dated a resident training to be an MD many moons ago. He told me that most men were "substandard". I think he was right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 05:31 AM
9

If you are comfortable, I would love to hear more about your translating work! One language or several? Are you translating documents?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 06:53 PM
64

"Stop daydreaming and projecting your wants on these men". Speak it, sister! Life can be bountiful when single: plan for travel, interesting hobbies, a comfortable living space, and friends. We can buy our own ring and take ourselves out and hire help if needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 06:48 PM
2

He's trying to mansplain and mandirect the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 02:56 AM
4

In the future, I wonder if your landlord would be willing to be at the appointment with you and the worker. This would at least put this issue on his radar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 12:42 AM
7

I once dated someone who bragged about how he made his house cozy and homey. When I walked in he had a loose, bare light bulb hanging overhead and five mismatched wooden chairs in an "interrogation circle" underneath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 12:26 AM
252

I really wish women were taught to prioritize their finances and build a nest egg and emergency fund so they can leave at any time. I also wish that women weren't taught that men are the be all and end all. If we had some consistent images and role models of single women travelling, living on their own, and enjoying fulfilling lives that others respect, it would save a lot of lost, exhausted women and heartbreak. There's a stigma there for women who are single, and it doesn't have to be that way…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 07:47 PM
14

No one who possesses an 8 1/2 x 11 glamour shot photograph. They both seemed somewhat selfish to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 04:47 PM
2

Very helpful explanation. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 04:40 PM
2

Interesting. Thank you for commenting on your experience. My doctor recommended cornstarch so now I'm questioning that. Love the pantiliners idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 07:16 PM
3

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 01:45 AM
1

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 01:44 AM
8

Would you be willing to say what natural brand cleans and whitens? Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 12:34 PM
4

What is your routine for the under boob area?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 12:26 PM
100

Creative excuses..."I didn't forget your birthday, I just forgot what yesterday's date was". Now I've heard it all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 12:19 PM
18

Yes. If you read about the historical lives of artists, so many of the men had either a trust fund or a wife at home. There is no mention of what it took to cook, clean, manage the household. The books and the artists just talk about how many hours they put into their art and how hard they worked. Often, there was a woman behind the scenes enabling him to focus. I'm ok with staying single, or having a partner who truly does 50/50. No "helping" me...it's not my designated job!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 09:20 AM
-1

The two times I attempted to submit a new text post they did not show up. When I wrote the mods and asked why I got no response. I have the feeling I am auto-banned but I have no idea why. I would very much appreciate being able to submit a text post or know what to do to remedy the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 11:52 PM
99

HOLY CRAP. I wouldn't be surprised if one of the reasons they got to that salary level is from the support of their wives. Housecleaning, cooking, dishes, laundry, childcare, managing social calendar, managing HER looks so she looks good to his coworkers and boss, making/tracking/keeping appointments, listening to his woes, etc. etc. All the invisible and devalued labor she provides to boost him every day. And perhaps he is "helping" with some of these things; still the overwhelming amount of th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 03:54 PM
8

Oh I like this idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 02:17 AM
14

A while ago I became indignant at how uncomfortable women's undergarments are and I decided to change. Granny panties or high cut with full bottom coverage, and no bra whatsoever (only bralettes or camisoles). What a relief. I also only wear comfortable shoes and I'm experimenting with how little I can carry in a small handbag, or skip it all together and keep only a wallet in my pocket like men do. I like feeling comfortable and free!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 02:14 AM
13

If I could clone myself I would learn how to make my own extremely soft and comfortable panties and bralettes and camisoles. Only pima cotton with a touch of spandex and very soft lace made out of cotton. Breathable, no riding up the crotch or binding around the chest. Interesting sexy colors and subtle patterns. Then I'd make more and try to sell them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 02:10 AM
15

Would you mind saying what brand? They sound comfy. I have a hard time finding comfortable soft 100% cotton underwear. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 02:04 AM
8

Thank you for elaborating. I am learning more and more as I read your posts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:26 PM
48

Isn't it both parents who are responsible? Both the mother and the father? They can both teach daily living skills to their children. Other than that I completely understand your point about why black men are undesirable to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 08:23 PM
7

Is there any way you could anonymously leave her a note with the url of this reddit sub, so she could read up and perhaps gain some insight?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:09 AM
10

I read your story and I wish for you good health, happiness and prosperity. The abortion sounds so emotionally painful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:05 AM
11

How did you shut him down?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 04:54 PM
103

Sad to read how she is going down, down, down. Now it's going to be extremely hard if not impossible to be a single mother, working full or part time, with twins.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 04:49 PM
53

It's absolutely NOT YOUR FAULT. He's the one lying, cheating, breaking marriage vows, and jeopardizing your health. This sounds like an ingrained part of who he is that is not changeable. That he could keep up the deceptive persona for so long is highly disturbing. Omg you must be in shock. It's also quite cavalier of him to have all the information so readily available to you. Unfortunately what a bitter pill for you to swallow. I'm so sorry that your trust and reality has been demolished. Plea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 08:08 PM
3

This is something I look for when dating someone new. When my hobbies come up, or they see something I created --- are they genuinely interested?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:12 AM
5

Will you please link it :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 06:37 PM
8

"Expensive for whom?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 06:35 PM
49

Every year. My gyn recommended every year because she also looks at the vulva. She told me about a patient who had an advanced cancer on her vulva because she skipped getting regularly checked. If I have to pay for every year, I will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 05:44 PM
11

I had a shit test early in a relationship and did not know what it was. We went to a gathering at someone's home, and we were sitting side by side. About halfway through the evening, I noticed that he was just staring at a woman across the room -- for a solid five minutes. Later I said to him "you were staring at that woman for a long time" and he replied that he didn't realize he was doing that. I don't think so. I think he knew exactly what he was doing. In retrospect I should have ended it th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:21 AM
5

I grew very weary with a friend who was almost always five minutes late. I mean, why not leave five minutes earlier and be on time? I would have loved to have had that extra five minutes to relax, but no I hustled out the door to be on time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:19 PM
17

I'm older and to me cell phones seem to function like pagers. I really hate that the expectation is to respond immediately, or to even respond with a couple of hours. While I have a cell phone, it's not my main phone and I often leave it alone for hours and hours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:15 PM
4

Exactly. I just saw a tik tok where a woman was saying she doesn't accept walk dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:02 AM
4

Ugh. I'm so sorry. What a shock and disappointment that must have been.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 07:41 AM
5

I'm curious how long you dated before your were married? I was just thinking about this today....how often men change after the wedding. Not blaming you at all -- some people can keep the charade going for a very long time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:52 AM
36

So much to unpack. Woman must put in the work and look fantastic and be in shape, men are not only acceptable but prized even if they don't take care of themselves, woman aren't expected to have higher standards, any woman who is less than the ideal isn't worthy enough for attention and love, and it's realistic for an unattractive man (in the sense that they don't better themselves) to attain a woman way, way out of his league...he is entitled (but of course not the other way around). Also, an a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 08:14 PM
16

It's a gravelly sound by using a lower voice, thus "fry". The voice is not smooth, but rough and at a lower register. The vocal cords are slack and bouncing together. For some reason it became cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 11:20 PM
11

I can only speak to USA culture but there doesn't seem to be any learning material that encourages and addresses men to be a skilled lover. The absence of available and well-known information gives the impression there is no value in knowing how to make a woman orgasm. Sure, there are probably some books and videos out there if a man seeks it out, but there doesn't seem to be a common understanding that skilled foreplay and knowledge of a lover's body is very necessary. The topic just doesn't se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 10:50 PM
18

Can you put a sign on your dog that says "Photos not permitted"? That might deter most.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 09:53 AM
5

My self-confidence increased tremendously when I started to travel alone. I do so as safely as possible, and it's a blast!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 11:52 PM
71

Sending you Light and Love. I hate that women are treated this way in the world. WTH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 06:49 PM
3

Yes it's a treasure to get support and validation for being single. That in many ways it is a GOOD thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 09:08 PM
10

I hope I don't freak some of you out but I am late middle-aged and have never married. Most of this was due to trauma recovery and not being available for it. Maybe I knew deep inside that my picker was broken. I also had a goal of changing a man and trying to make him fit what I wanted (so, so wrong) so those relationships didn't work out. Maybe I don't really want to compromise all that much. I'm pretty happy now and financially stable but I still would like a relationship. I own my own home a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 05:27 PM
29

Nailed it with your descriptions. I've had some of these experiences myself. It's a huge red flag to me if I show a man a hobby that means a lot to me and he has no comment, no interest, or a neg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 02:26 AM
3

I was once traveling in an unfamiliar area with a family member. We were outside, it was pitch black, not even a shred of light, and I dropped something and needed to find it. She kept walking. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:05 AM
24

It's so disturbing that men being respectful toward women is something that's often experienced as shameful, wimpy, and mocked by other men. No wonder there is so much misogyny. If they break with their bros, they are excluded. Toxic masculinity, and we pay for it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:52 AM
7

Interesting take. I'm going to think about this. I posted elsewhere here about how my ex said I was walking ahead of him, and I think I did at times -- especially just as we were getting home. I corrected myself, but now that you mention it he was passive aggressive and he once told me when people are in a rush he slows down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:45 AM
8

It doesn't make it right, but I think often this is about feeling crappy about oneself and the outer layer of protection aka meanness is to keep people away and it works. There is fear of rejection underneath it all. It's not up to us to tolerate or fix it though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:39 AM
3

I confess I didn't realize that I tended to walk ahead of my ex at times. I think it happened mostly when we were approaching my/his apartment after being out. When he brought it up, I corrected. That said, I had a friend who walked ahead of me so I know how aggravating it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:34 AM
40

So true. In the past, when I was confused and getting mixed messages about a man's actions or words I just kept hoping for the best and hanging on. Now, when I feel confused about what someone is doing or saying (in any kind of relationship), or how it doesn't jibe with what I know so far, it raises a flag. Of course depending on the person I will ask for clarification and not make assumptions. But in a romantic relationship, feeling confused about how much I matter is never a good sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 07:39 AM
8

Her edit may be a result of the way society is heading: extremely sensitive and sympathetic to any group espousing any viewpoint where no judgments are made......a society where people are afraid of stepping on toes; if one makes a judgment they're being an a-hole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 02:26 AM
13

I hope you do file a report. You never know what he'll do next and your report may save another woman from this or worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 02:08 AM
7

I am livid for you!!!! He assaulted you and violated you. He felt entitled to you and was angry that you didn't want him. The audacity. The violence! And the two men who joined in after the fact and laughed. The male solidarity makes me furious. It brings up a recent memory. I was wearing a mask early on, before most people, because I catch things easily. I was standing in a grocery store line outside in the early morning hours and the man in front of me was facing sideways so he had full view o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:56 AM
26

So LIVID at this and all the comments where women were intellectually violated and stolen from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:42 PM
3

He sounds like one of those incredibly selfish guys who watches every penny and does everything as cheaply as possible. This also translates into watching every calorie of effort expended, and never, ever doing more for her than she's doing for him. Or if he does, he will expect a huge repayment and it will stick in his brain until she gives back -- and he'll probably say something. His mantra is most likely do as little as possible and take whatever she will give. I'm guessing he does this in a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:19 PM
10

My concern would be how they handle money. Why are they broke? How do they prioritize their purchases and payment of bills? Are they organized and show they care about finances even if it's not much money? If we observe closely we can find out the answer to these questions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 06:20 AM
8

Oh I see. Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:19 AM
29

The confidence. I once dated someone who had solid self-esteem. He WAS a good guy, but I was struck by how he felt so confident about his abilities and would easily verbalize that, and yet I felt so inadequate. When I really dissected it, we each had our own strengths -- it's just that he knew how to highlight his and really validate himself and toot his horn, while I (like many women) dismissed myself and my abilities while not even realizing what my strengths were. I think men are just consist…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:48 AM
17

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:03 AM
21

So many people failed you. And then there's the humiliation and illegality of having to pull up/down clothing to show your scar. I am appalled. How are you doing now?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 12:21 AM
2

Can you tell me more about this? Did the ring have a name? I am interested in the history of a "single's ring".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 03:54 PM
5

You are a badass -- in a good way. I'm taking notes. They didn't back you up at all or apologize to you about him. Grrr.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 01:23 AM
3

That's just terrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I waved to a male neighbor down the street recently and right after felt I was too friendly. Don't know him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 01:08 AM
28

Oh I feel so bad for her. Chronic pain is tortuous (literally -- I think of it as a form of torture), as well as physically and mentally draining. It makes a person tired, irritable, hopeless, depressed. When you get NO relief from pain 24/7 it's a brutality. I'm so sorry for her, and for the kids. And to add to it all his mother is not nice to her at all. Horrifying situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 02:23 AM
3

Voycels?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 03:13 AM
17

That was so weird of that guy. It's as if he thinks he can dominate the situation because you were female and a teenager. If I don't lock my car doors when I first drive away from home, I've learned to auto-lock the car doors when it's noisy. For instance, if a group of men is walking on the sidewalk but there's no traffic I probably wouldn't lock them in that instance because it would be so obvious....they could hear me do it. It might invite anger and trouble. Of course in an emergency I would…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 03:01 AM
36

When I was in my 20s I pulled into a highway rest area and a guy approached my car and proceeded to try to open my driver's side door! I think he thought I was having car trouble but omg. Thank goodness I had already locked the door. I simply drove away. Another time more recently I got into my car and left the door open while I turned right to fasten the seatbelt. Within that second some random guy was right there saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" I think he wanted money. I slammed the door shut, lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 02:49 AM
101

Everyone looks pained in different ways. The mother is steadfast and pissed. Don't mess with her. The new husband is caught in the middle and trying his best to extricate himself without upsetting her (not possible). The bride knows the score but thinks if she perseveres it will work out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 10:58 PM
25

Agreed. I can't tell you the number of times I wanted something to happen, tried and tried, and couldn't turn the tide. Then, something else would come about that would make it all for the best anyway. Now when I feel myself trying too hard and it doesn't work out I trust that there may be better things ahead, or fate saved me from an untoward event. Even a simple activity like being in a rush and having a detour on a drive, only to later find out the original route was even more clogged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 08:09 PM
66

Your terror was your body signaling that the relationship wasn't right for you and it's a good thing you listened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:22 PM
6

This is really well done and gorgeous! I love the delicateness of it. What did you use for the soft outlines? They add so much to the piece. Thank you for the sentiment; Happy Valentine's Day to you as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 01:04 PM
19

In that book "The Rules" it is recommended that a woman have the activity and date (and possibly time) all lined up before even accepting. Him: "Do you want to go out sometime" Her: "That could be fun...what did you have in mind?" etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:49 AM
15

This is impactful. I will always remember this story. How brutal to be the wife in this scenario wondering wth? Thank goodness she had your back. It does sound like both the husband and father were tag-teaming to isolate your friend. They knew what they were doing. And what a bad experience for you...being nice and polite and you get degenerates in return who don't treat you with respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 03:43 AM
9

I agree. Men know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:39 AM
5

You can do this!!!! And if you have a setback, please be kind to yourself and simply start up again. Small changes and a routine everyday. One of my favorite books for enacting change is Atomic Habits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 12:27 AM
2

Everything everyone said and also HE LIED. He doesn't mind lying to his coworkers and he wants to fix this by lying. I hope she gets out asap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 12:23 AM
17

The package is HUGE!! Do men need this outside product assistance because they can't or won't use toilet paper? Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 05:34 AM
19

This sounds just horrendous. OMG. A staff person couldn't go out and pick up some tylenol for you? But really, the bigger issue is that they did not prepare you for the level of pain or offer appropriate pain medication, or offer two separate days to insert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 05:16 AM
42

So true about men. They do exactly what they want. Bored of listening? They exit the phone call quickly and not necessarily graciously. Done with a relationship? Again a quick break up convo. Tasks they don't want to do? They might say yes, and some men may do them, but many will say yes and simply not do it. It's such a different mindset from the way women are taught: to be accommodating and self-sacrificing. Lately I've been declining a lot more and respecting my inner voice that says "no".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 08:12 AM
36

A good man will be protective like that. My ex and I saw something that embarrassed me and made me anxious and he exploited the hell out of it to get me more worked up, while pretending not to. He did throw in a quick sorry even though I never confronted him. Just another red flag along the way that should have triggered my departure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 10:00 AM
18

Where a lookalike and obvious wedding ring when out. Headphones, even sunglasses if they make those for running. I'd even consider getting a running shirt that says "No talking zone" or something like that. I once had a guy run after me while I was running.....I outran him and I noticed there was another guy in a car far off watching to see if he needed to help me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:07 PM
5

Yes, narcissists like to stir things up right when there is something big going on where they are not the focus. Their partner may have a promotion, a birthday, a home purchase, or they're just about to leave for a trip.....and out comes the drama and pain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 02:09 AM
17

I do see it as a power move even though it sounds pathetic. He tells her that what they had meant so little that he asked someone out -- and told her on her big day of house purchase. Then he added that he was "rejected though" to redeem himself i.e. I didn't actually go on a date with her so I'm still a good guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 02:05 AM
6

Exactly. He's flexing to subordinate you because he is insecure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 01:57 AM
129

I am older and I'm appalled at how porn is destroying both men and women. This wasn't an issue in my youth as much as it is today. This addictive violent sex is disgusting -- definitely not the erotica or girly mags I grew up with. It's changing lives and our culture in a very negative way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 03:39 AM
4

It's shocking that he doesn't know to where you are moving!!!! Talk about not listening well.......
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 10:41 PM
17

I hate that love languages BS too and I haven't even read it. I don't believe in it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:07 PM
1

Yes, he's the negative energy following her around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 07:04 AM
2

What time shall I arrive? (haha) I can bring wine and homemade cookies. It looks scrumptious and kudos to you for self-cheffing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 08:32 AM
8

Love her black velvet shoes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:29 AM
11

I feel bad for the kids too. They've lost their whole connection to him (well the grandpa image he created) and their play structure, because of his selfishness and lechery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:01 AM
1

Agreed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 08:42 AM
5

I can understand this. I don't believe in ghosting someone without any explanation ever or no previous communication or attempts to hash it out -- I think that's cruel. Of course I have exceptions such as I just met them or the behavior was so egregious it's an automatic out. But once it's been discussed and the behavior doesn't change, then a minimal one sentence explanation should do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 08:39 AM
15

I think I'd take it to the ridiculous and say "So, you're disagreeing that I feel the way I feel?" with a puzzled look on my face and let him respond to that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:16 PM
2

Wow. At best it's completely tone deaf to what you need. You shouldn't have to spell out that you don't want to be around a stalker. At worst he has a sadistic streak, or lacks empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 11:55 AM
34

Even the network broadcast television programs lean toward men. So many sports programs; I find it irksome that they can't run some programs that are more more typically geared toward women (other than cooking shows). I tire of the poker channel, football, and sports commentary. It dominates the programming on the weekend. Men get so much more of what they want -- it is subtle and ubiquitous and permeates our every day. How about some regular programming that feature a woman as the protagonist, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:32 AM
4

Beautiful hands, nails, ring. Would love to know the nail polish brand and color. Congratulations on closing the deal!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 04:17 AM
3

I read your post and it gives me strength. Life has so many twists and turns that choosing oneself is the best move since we are always with ourselves. I'm sorry he turned out to be such a disappointment and that he exploited your good nature with his lies. The ring is gorgeous...maybe I'll do that too. Hugs if you want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 08:51 PM
10

"Penisier" LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:30 PM
12

So pretty!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 01:47 AM
20

My best sex was when I was in my 20s. He set the bar so high that since then no other man has come close (well, there was ONE amazing kisser). He listened to my body language and adjusted accordingly, and he wanted to please me always. He was the very definition of a generous and thoughtful lover. Since then with other men the sex isn't great even with time and suggestions. I'm at the point now that if the first kiss doesn't make bell rings I won't pursue the relationship. I don't think you're a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 01:38 AM
28

SO AWESOME!! I read your previous post last week. His actions are abhorrent, especially teaching others how to treat a woman poorly and how all his attention toward you stopped once he had the green card. He sounds irredeemable and frankly that his goal didn't have to do with having an ongoing relationship with you, which is appalling and highly manipulative. I think you are so right to cut your losses ASAP as you are doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 07:40 AM
17

When I told my doctor about how my libido fell off a cliff at middle age she replied "Our bodies don't want to make babies anymore". No, it wasn't normal and I was simply not feeling safe with my bf at the time. She wasn't helpful at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 07:03 AM
27

I once went on a few dates with someone who claimed he had a "strong nesting instinct" and implied his home was cozy. When I walked in the kitchen there were several bare lightbulbs hanging down and rickety chairs in a circle. I dated someone else whose idea of putting up curtains was to hang them from a tension rod but at an angle so they were wonky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 07:12 PM
3

I like your way of thinking. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 07:09 PM
14

I'm older and I've noticed this my whole dating life. I think it's unusual to meet a man who listens well. Somewhere I read that statistically men talk the most on the third date -- they are trying to "sell themselves" by talking about themselves. For me it is a total turnoff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 06:54 AM
9

Is he an accountant? I find that many finance people calculate every penny and every ounce of effort they put into their relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 09:01 AM
7

WOW given how much money he makes. I could see if he was a poor student, and he suggested that he treat you at a less expensive place. But 6 figures!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 08:50 AM
5

I don't believe in lying; if they outright ask I would tell them, but I wouldn't volunteer it. I also wouldn't make any commitment until at least one year of dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 08:45 AM
9

My exbf did this to me early on. Stared at a woman for a long time at a party. I was sitting right next to him. I should have heeded this red flag immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 08:40 AM
22

I didn't realize that a woman isn't allowed to eat or drink during labor. That in itself is tortuous. I once left an emergency room after nine hours..... they were still doing testing....but I needed food and water and they wouldn't bring me any. I don't think it had to do with testing, just incompetence, so I left and devoured vending machine snacks on the way out. I don't know how a woman in labor goes without food and water for 4+ hours!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 11:25 PM
16

Wow. That sounds frightening. Glad you made it out alive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 10:36 PM
1

He kept a saw in the living room? Why?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 06:49 AM
3

Just be sure to take care of yourself in all this. You love your friend and that will give her strength, but is she a friend to you too? Does she listen to you, laugh with you, show that she cares about you? It's ok to set limits on her behavior......you can ask for what you want and tell her it's not ok to explode on you. It could be years or never that she is able to break free. Meantime, be sure you are directing your life in ways that make you happy and inspired. You are absolutely in the ri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 06:35 AM
23

"That stuff". So insignificant it doesn't have a name. And how is it that he promises that OP will finish when she is telling him exactly what is needed and he doesn't want to do it. So cocky and dismissive at the same time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 02:32 PM
21

Her mother sees the writing on the wall and is smart....otherwise goodbye life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:17 PM
224

This is so true. Many famous artists had a women taking care of the household and children, so he could focus on his art. He gets all the accolades and there is no mention of the wife. One of the key reasons he became great is because of her support.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:16 PM
3

Congratulations on finding your self-confidence and self-worth! Everything you listed I personally would not be comfortable with and/or is downright offensive. You've got a good head on your shoulders -- believe your observations on what was going on. Being told to "get over it" or that you are "ridiculous" and being invalidated is not ok. It's a sign of disrespect. Guess the jokes on him because now he'll have to figure out how to make it part-time. He's got LVM written all over him. All the be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:27 PM
8

Same here. Sex with my college bf was amazing, only I didn't realize how great I had it at the time. He set the bar so high, that others don't compare. We stayed in bed for hours, he was simply tuned in to me and my body, and loved foreplay. Only one guy since then had a kiss that made me melt. I'm at the point now that if the kiss isn't good, then I'm not going to stick around for bad sex. With later boyfriends I kept telling myself that it was good enough, but it really wasn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 06:09 AM
3

"Clothes"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 01:10 AM
20

The vagina is the canal. The labia minora are the inner lips situated between the labia majora. The labia majora are the large plumpish outer folds. The clitoris is the sensitive erectile part of the female genitals situated at the anterior apex of the vulva. ***Extra info: It is a wishbone-shaped structure that extends anywhere from 7-13 centimeters into the body! The vulva is the outer part of the female genitals. It includes the opening of the vagina, the labia majora, the labia minora, and t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 02:47 AM
2

Well I'm curious as to what kinds of things he did? I completely believe and understand you, just trying to get the context so I know what to look out for for myself. I stayed with someone a long time, way past when it was time to go. He could be very loving, then do something like not call on our anniversary or flirt with someone. The more I'm on this subreddit, the more I realize all the little subtle and not subtle disrespect he threw my way. I think he was sabotaging himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 06:53 AM
3

I think it was malice. He's known you for nearly 4 years so he knows that you care very much about your plants. I'm glad you listened to your boundary and broke it off with him....he sounds sadistic and was gleeful when witnessing your pain. That's what is so disturbing about all of this. It's ok if you can't forgive him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 12:24 AM
1

He stands by his statement. What an ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:21 AM
3

What "helps explain it" is that most men suck between the sheets. Maybe if they tuned into their partner, noticed subtleties, body movements, sounds, as well as ask their partner what feels good and listen and then follow through they might get somewhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:08 AM
15

Wow. What a keeper.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:02 AM
2

LOVE THIS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 06:00 AM
1

Gotta love how he glances at the camera when he says "conquer".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 02:30 PM
7

I'm so sorry and glad you'll be out of that relationship. Please don't let his actions define you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 05:18 AM
4

One date showed up in shorts, a wrinkled tee shirt and barefoot!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 09:05 AM
4

I've noticed owners of businesses do this too, especially home repair e.g. plumbers, elect, lawn care, oil delivery, etc. They don't answer all of the questions. They might not respond at all and yet still want your business. I think it's laziness and carelessness. A man can hide behind "missing it" as if it was an honest mistake, but I think 99% of the time they know what they're doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 04:07 AM
12

Thank you for your reply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:40 PM
111

This is gold for one-on-one conversations. What would you suggest for a group setting? When this happens to me in a group, if I don't address it and simply remain quiet someone else responds to the interrupter and the conversation just shifts and moves along.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 01:11 PM
7

That sounds so jarring and I imagine you must have been incredulous to hear the lying after the cards and love letters and kisses. You had your own back. Deep down inside, in your subconscious, you questioned his integrity. You listened to that voice and decided to face it and find out for yourself if he was lying. That was very brave and decisive of you. I'm sorry for this experience and congratulations on claiming your freedom from a liar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:33 AM
10

I heard this often from my ex and assumed it was because I was too critical. This is an interpretation I hadn't even considered. I'm so behind the eight ball!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:43 AM
4

Wow, that's horrible. The nerve. I'm so glad to read that you are feeling better and it's inspiring to those of us who are still searching for answers. Your determination paid off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 11:53 PM
9

May I ask who finally figured out the diagnosis? In other words, was it a specialist, which one, etc.? You really persevered! I have health issues too and the root cause eludes me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 10:38 PM
5

Thank you for your in depth reply. Every example does telegraph low level! I find this in all interactions...once the subtle dig or disrespect happens, there will be more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 01:53 PM
15

If you don't mind saying, what did they do/say?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 02:30 AM
37

I don't like how he made it sound like this decision was because you may have expectations that he felt he couldn't meet. He didn't take responsibility for politely bowing it, he put it on you. He could have kept it neutral and said he didn't think that it was a match. And rather than ask you if you felt that way, he decided you did. Lots of assumptions and shape-shifting there. It's hard to communicate with people who make lots of assumptions and don't check in so you probably dodged a bullet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 01:53 AM
13

Wait until you get even older. Once I hit my late 50s the 70+ year olds started coming on to me. And they do it so shamelessly....they're married and have no intention of leaving their wives. And that is a good deal for me how?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 01:39 AM
35

When you deaded him the first time, did you tell him why or just disappear? How did you both get things going again?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 01:20 AM
11

I'm at the point where I think I'd say "you weren't honest about _________ so I'm going to cut this short", then leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 03:56 AM
6

I don't know why men and women alike post what they don't want, don't like, etc. It's such a negative opening, and who would say "I do want someone who's crazy" or "I do want drama". Why don't people just talk and/or meet and silently screen when objectionable things come up?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 03:45 AM
3

his dog, Cooper or whatever so so so funny!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 03:40 AM
20

He's ticking me off. You're the exact OPPOSITE...very confident about what you do and don't want. You're not "shy", you just didn't feel like falling all over yourself for him. He's negging you all over the place. Gag is right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:50 PM
11

You are awesome!!! There would be no reason to "trust him" this early in the game. And he showed what his true priorities are by his actions. Not his words i.e. all his attempts at reassuring, asking, explaining, and getting pushy -- his actions. And his actions after he dropped you off and then ended your interactions says it all. What BS when he criticized you and triangulated you by saying the other female is more sexually confident. He's an entitled LVM and your eagle eye spotted him immedia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:44 PM
19

If he was so quick to make an assumption he may have difficulty with communication skills as well as being reliable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 05:08 PM
13

I'm shocked that it's even a question, but I guess I'm showing my age. I think of sex as something private between the people involved, not an "expectation" that is broadcast as part of a profile with the implication that this is something to be determined and discussed up front.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:54 AM
6

Brutal message to her daughter. And the risk of child abuse/sexual assault is many, many times higher now that she's brought a man into her life. Something like 20-40x higher.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 08:44 PM
29

There's a question like that on OKCupid? That people are expected to answer? OMG I'm old.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 07:45 PM
3

I think it is normal to feel attracted, but high value people keep it under wraps and have a solid poker face. They play dumb. They do not disrespect their partner by staring and ogling. That's the difference to me. I think it's healthy to expect a partner to only have eyes for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 06:35 AM
8

Be careful with idealizing ownership of a single family home and managing it as a single person. The yard care alone is daunting....and that's even after I hired someone to mow! Just know what you're getting into...I thought I did, and it's a smallish home with a small yard and it's still a lot. I may end up in a townhome or condo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:05 AM
25

Way, way, WAY out of his league. Out of his stratosphere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 11:38 AM
22

I thought Chris O'Dowd (the police officer) was adorable. Loved his personality and his looks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 01:41 AM
8

Some men just cycle through women their whole lives. That is their comfort zone. There is nothing wrong with that as long as no one gets hurt and they acknowledge they don't want more. The last man I dated, he did somewhat shady things that left me uneasy: flirting with other women, inconsistent with relationship milestones, etc. He could be very charming and then do something destabilizing. Since we broke up he has married and (I'm pretty sure) divorced. I honestly think you are smart to leave …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 01:06 AM
2

I would be tempted to do the same...like hot men and make sure he found out. But that's not really constructive.......
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 12:58 AM
5

It could be that deep down he doesn't want a long-term relationship. I don't mean with you, I mean with anyone. He certainly sabotaged himself. He may not even be aware of it, but his behavior shows you what is important to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 12:56 AM
13

I'm much older than you, but when I was in my 20s a man I dated told me "most men are substandard". I really think that's true. My belief is that there are gems out there, but they are few and far between. You did well for yourself by letting him go -- you deserve someone who admires you, respects you, compliments you. I once had a boyfriend who didn't compliment me either, and there were other off things too...I broke up with him. "Trying" is bs when it's something like not ogling women. "Tryin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 12:51 AM
4

I remember it, but I think many commenters thought it was fake. If it was real -- just awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 11:17 PM
2

For some reason I've looked twice and can't find it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 05:00 AM
41

I looked it up. Steve Huffman, co-founder and CEO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 04:54 AM
63

This infuriates me and leaves me feeling very negative about Reddit. Who is making these decisions?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 03:27 AM
16

Wow. That is really sad and I'm so glad that she at least had it removed when she did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 02:18 AM
10

I don't really believe in blocking and ghosting, especially after a few months into a relationship, exclusive, or engaged. I think it's best to tell the person what is going on. You really listened to your intuition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:00 AM
2

Lots of intense negativity and simply not fun at all!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 01:24 AM
2

Given that he went 5 days without calling you early in the relationship, I think he freaks out when he sees your belongings in his apartment. My guess is he feels trapped and doesn't want commitment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 03:40 AM
4

Are you saying that once you start communicating by personal email, that you use a pseudonym? And if someone knows my real name and they know I use reddit, they could find my screen name and posts?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 12:51 PM
12

No to this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 09:05 PM
7

Thank you! I need new locks for my home. Yes, I've heard that extra long deadbolts and extra long screws are important. I may also get a camera...it sounds like the camera is what alerted you to someone trying to break in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 02:34 AM
7

Would you mind saying what the name of the lock is that resists picking? Thanks. I could use more security around here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 01:52 AM
6

Then she should charge him for travel costs both ways including the time it takes to travel, gas/oil/maintenance, and any parking costs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 03:35 AM
1

If this is a real story: Yes, you should definitely consider therapy. I am afraid for you. Be extremely careful if you decide to leave him. Do not tell him you are leaving. Contact a domestic abuse organization to help make a plan to leave. He absolutely could become violent, and clearly he knows how to stalk you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 07:46 AM
8

I was blamed by most of my family too regarding sexual misconduct. It feels terrible and I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm in your corner. It astounds me (and appalls me) that sometimes the most well-educated people, people who perhaps read more because they received more education, people who say they value social services to help others in need -- that they can be the same ones who turn on a family member and blame the victim. Don't believe them. I'm glad you are getting help and reaching ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 02:12 PM
34

How do you do that? I am curious about what you mean. I can imagine never walking alone at night, but do you do other things as well?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 05:37 PM
9

OMG. This is one of the reasons I may never get married. I can't deal with these roles and jobs. No you are not the A.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 09:41 AM
3

Yeah snooping rubs me the wrong way. It is introducing a form of lying into the relationship (doing something behind someone's back). I don't think my opinion is going to go over well here. I support most of what's said on this sub but not this. Perhaps I haven't dated such shady men, or I didn't know they were shady. As for STDs, the NHI says 50-80% of adults have oral herpes. I would require that we both get tested and share the results. Since someone said the results can be photoshopped, then…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 01:46 AM
6

The entitlement doesn't even begin to describe it. How does one become so brazen to even request that given what he offers??? There must still be women in this world to accommodate.....Talk about male privilege.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 06:30 PM
44

Marriage is not a License for Free Childcare, Free Housekeeping, and a Free Cook!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 05:24 PM
23

Good for you for taking care of yourself. I'm glad you waited until YOU felt comfortable crossing the street. And bigger picture, that you realized that he's not looking out for your safety, and had the gall to repeat what he knew was upsetting you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 04:58 AM
7

Struggle Love -- I love this term! Now a part of my vocabulary. I keep hearing about how marriage is so hard, so hard, so hard. It's made me not want to be married. But maybe it's challenging but not so incredibly difficult with the right person?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 02:50 AM
12

So well written. Thank you. I see my former self in this though I was lost in the spin at the time. There were so many mixed messages, and the fact that they were there would be enough now for me to know that means the person isn't emotionally available.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 07:53 AM
14

Anytime a person is placed into a category (i.e. "you people" or "you're not like 'you people'") it is insulting. Everyone is an individual and deserves to be seen for the unique individual he/she is. By saying you're NOT like "you people" the pronouncer is still displaying prejudice against an entire population. There is also an undercurrent of entitlement, because the person thinks they have the astounding ability and intellect to judge and make the comparison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 04:42 PM
11

I've been studying men's clothing and gradually doing what they do and wearing comfortable clothing too. They're not wearing elastic binding aka a bra around the chest area. They're not wearing itchy lace panties that ride up the crotch. They're not loaded down with anything they don't want to carry. They're not wearing tight clothing. So I decided to copy them. I gave up bras and wear silk tank tops (and by the way, they are MEN's silk tank tops because they're cheaper, longer, and better quali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:39 AM
6

Sounds awful, but thanks for replying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 11:03 PM
5

What is TRP? Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:40 PM
14

So bold. He is pretty much announcing that he's selfish and that he has no interest in a relationship. Actions speak louder than words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 07:06 PM
9

He's either trying to make you jealous as a tactic, or it's a test of some kind, or he is ending the relationship by saying something to make you cut him off. Any of these approaches do not show maturity. Good job that you decisively cut him off! His loss! Now he'll always wonder about the one that got away. Interesting that he said this right after Valentine's Day. I've had boyfriends who acted weird around Valentine's Day, and I should have ended it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:27 PM
9

He sounds aggressive with his cupcake comment. He showed his colors very quickly didn't he?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 04:03 AM
14

I agree overall to leave it to the man to pursue, yet I do know of three instances of women who did the following 1) initiated contact on an OLD site 2) asked their (now) husband out first 3) asked their boyfriend to marry them. All of them are in satisfying and healthy relationships with these men. That said, I still do agree in general to leave it to the men...they have to WANT you. I think what I've learned for myself that there is no absolute right way, but in general I attune best to FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 11:01 PM
24

I second the book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 10:56 PM
6

Good move to cut him loose immediately. Rather than responding positively about the salad choices you asked about and keeping things upbeat, he decided to push pizza on you and question if you were lying. He also sounds like he has low self-esteem if he jumps to question whether you were making excuses not to go out with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 01:08 AM
5

Do you mind saying how you met your husband? I am considering OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 02:53 AM
2

Thank you. I will check it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 03:34 AM
10

Yes, my last boyfriend made promises that we would travel, he introduced me to his family, bought me jewelry, etc. but also said he "didn't know". Lots of mixed messages. Then after a miserable trip where he acted like a brat I finally told him I thought we should consider breaking up...that perhaps we should take a week apart and think about it. While I was secretly hoping he'd show me how much he wanted me, he ended up saying he wanted to break up. There were other flags too, along with the lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 08:32 PM
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