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woahbrad35 Archive

View 0 posts and 145 comments by woahbrad35 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

No. I already had my kid before I married her. I would have liked to have learned some of the same life lessons I've learned since then, but the marriage and subsequent divorce fundamentally changed me as a person physically and mentally. I have a panic disorder, digestive issues, chronic pain, chronic fatigue. I swear I aged twenty years in 8 years.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 04:18 PM
2

F her. Be your son's dad and if he gets through everything he's going through, he'll still be your son. Don't use her shitty behavior be some "see, see, I'm a better parent because I spent the money on him she didn't" thing. Like I don't think you realize how much this whole thing read as you only doing stuff for your son as a jab at her. You think he's not gonna realize or feel like that also? You need to shut up, quit bitching about her, and be there for your boy because he needs you and not b…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 02:56 AM
9

I wish I had talked to my ex wife's ex husband like that. I would've learned she did all the same stuff to him
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 02:00 PM
2

I didn't have kids with my ex and my ex still managed to cost me 10k+. It was similar to this dude, she'd do something off the wall that made bigger problems, bait me into an argument where it started out "not involving the attorneys", crop screen shots to make it look like I was harassing her and take me to court for that. She'd file for bogus contempt charges, which my own lawyer and evidence cleared up, but every court date cost me a grand in attorney fees. All for NOTHING. Then she'd constan…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 02:04 PM
7

Wait wtf, that was my ex to a T... the big event was an illness she developed a few months after we met even. My ex also used her mental health issues to control me or limit my ability to have a friend group
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 01:04 PM
9

Facebook dating, tinder, real life. I hooked up with more women in the 3 years after my ex moved out than I did in the 12 years prior to my marriage. Be somewhat fit, or have your shit together just enough, and don't do all the bizarre stupid shit 90% of other guys do when approaching women. Honestly most other guys did most of the work for me by being total dumpster fires. By the time a woman got to me, my average self seemed pretty attractive lol
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 06:41 PM
3

This was one of the last gasps of my marriage. I had gotten really sick, not man flu, 103 degree fever massive splitting migraine dehydrated didn't move for the entire day sick and she didn't even want to leave her ministerial INTERNSHIP to check up on me or take me to the doctor. When she finally came home, she was clearly really annoyed and looked at me with contempt. I could've died and she wouldn't have cared. She had never liked when I had any health issue pop up. She was the only one who w…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 01:31 PM
1

Desperation? Boredom? Thinking outside the box? Dunno, I have anxiety and adhd and if the cameras can't be found or removed for whatever reason, I'd be super stressed out about being watched by someone that is now my enemy for all intents and purposes. So, I'm thinking, it's my house, blinds drawn so no possibility of exposure threats, I'm playing dumb to the cameras and getting petty when I'm finally fed up with worry. Might be a terrible plan, but has anyone tried it to find out? Being unable …
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 06:17 PM
5

What happens if you close all the blinds and just start jerkin the gerkin constantly. Can you sue under revenge porn or peeping Tom type stuff? It's not exactly legal to film and record sex acts without consent
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 01:32 PM
1

File your own TRO. She's violent and frankly dangerous. You don't necessarily even need a lawyer. Go to your local court clerk, get the paperwork, print or upload all your evidence, pics, texts, whatever, and file it with the clerk. I had ac neighbor counter file even I tried filing a TRO against him, so I know it's possible at least where I live to have competing TRO filings
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 01:42 PM
3

If she locked you in the room and wouldn't let you leave, that's imprisonment. I would have called the cops and pressed charges and then filed a restraining order. Then I would have filed for custody or whatever it took to get temporary custody in any form. What the fuck are you doing dude? She's negligent, nuts, and your kids are at the most impressionable time in their entire lives right now. Quit the he said she said circle jerk dancing around whatever details she's adding to the equation. Yo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 03:15 AM
2

You are acting like you are still together. She wanted a divorce, you aren't together anymore, she's not your wife anymore. She doesn't have to tell you shit, and you don't have to tell her shit either. The sooner you start acting like you've split up, the sooner you can have the best outcome for yourself and move on. If she's banging some dude, who cares. She's not your wife anymore and hasn't been for at least 6 months. This is never a recent development. The month before you split and she was…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 10:51 PM
12

Most women are fundamentally the same. Not all of course, but the vast majority all seem to follow the same script
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 12:48 PM
1

She filed first, said no attorney, then gets an attorney. Her stupid mother gets in my face wagging her finger saying I'm gonna get what's coming to me now, just wait. I get an attorney and lay it out clearly for him, every text, every possible thing so he knows everything possible, I didn't hide anything I said to her. We go to court, she brings a bunch of stuff that's been cleverly edited, he said she said bs. My attorney dismantled all of it. Then it comes to the mortgage. She gets 4k/mo tax …
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 03:48 PM
5

I've never been attracted to overweight women. Always been called vain or judgemental or whatever, but it's not the weight itself that pushes me off, it's the lack of self control and accountability it takes to get fat. Flat out, I've watched partners get fat and, unprompted, they lie right to my face, saying they didn't eat this or that or they had no idea why they were putting on weight. Then I'd see them stuff their faces every time there was any type of junk food around. I'm sorry, but that …
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:35 PM
8

Not looks, but standards of the overall person. I know I don't need a wife or anyone to get my day to day shit done, sex can be found relatively easy, so I'm finding myself struggling with anyone that's not able to enrich my life in a good way. Most of them just bring more drama or negativity or lack of effort.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 06:26 AM
8

Love? Lmao. I haven't felt that gushy love feeling for anyone in years. Had it one time after my divorce, but after that also blew up in my face, haven't felt it since. People will always disappoint you and like the person above said, the grass is rarely if ever greener on the other side. Love is hope and hormones. Ever consider the issue is maybe you and what you think you should be feeling, but maybe can't or won't regardless of the other person?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 03:00 PM
5

Block the account and keep moving on. The person you knew is gone, no sense continuing to hurt yourself. Just keep blocking whatever pops up like that with her until you have a solid wall between you and her choices
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:04 AM
5

My ex was all about an image she created of herself in her head. To this day, I don't think she's ever once posted a pic of her son (not mine) anywhere for any reason. She posts her daughter fairly often since her daughter inherited her hypermobility condition and that plays into her sympathy card. She even had her daughter co-author a book on the condition with her when the daughter was like 6 or 7 years old. Son, nothing ever. I got dropped even I started having my own health issues lol. This …
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 09:48 PM
5

It's not a reflection of your inadequacy, it's the inability to work through whatever problems led to the lack of desire.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 03:00 AM
2

Keep it clear with any potentials, keep it casual, rebounds aren't a fun time. I had a kid early in life with someone else and never really had the wilder 20s. She moved out the same time I split with my ex wife and I definitely had a bit of a ho phase. Got a lot out of my system that way, good times and bad. I hooked up with more women in the year after my ex moved out than in the 10 years prior to meeting her combined lol.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 12:56 AM
3

Because no woman communicates as well as they claim they do. I haven't met a single one yet that will calmly and openly discuss issues she has in the relationship and come up with ideas how to fix them. It's always stew stew stew, develop an exit strategy. I literally just had it happen yet again with a gf of almost 4 years. One of her arguments was that she felt she couldn't say anything without it becoming hostile. I replied what, in what way, I've never once made anything hostile. She said, "…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 12:55 AM
8

Get a live trap and set it out in your yard with some wet cat food in it. Attach tracker to whatever animal shows up.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 08:15 PM
10

You used to pray every night for her safety? You are wealthy from a great income and old money and you have accounts hidden in the UAE rather than getting a prenup or similar agreement? She had to get the classic 50 hour a week low paying job? This reads like fan fiction or something just feels really off. There's waaaay too much generic "I'm so awesome and she ruined it" rhetoric in there. A bot could have written this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 02:29 PM
3

I just found out, at my age, my mom basically lied to me my entire life, raised me with weird beliefs and goofy shit all because she had an abortion before having me, so no, even mothers and sisters and cousins aren't different.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 12:49 PM
10

Everyone, EVERYONE, has some amount of narcissistic tendencies, but not everyone is a dyed in the wool narcissist. This is why so many people label each other narcissists, because it's convenient and always at least a little true. The bigger picture is what you need to look at. Did you control all the money? Did you control her time? Did you control her friends? Did you lie and create a separate reality? Did you belittle and then console her to break her down? Did she threaten to leave and you g…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 12:24 PM
3

My ex would go 3-4 days without showering, put on 40lbs, spent all of our money all the time, etc. She was critical of my daughter but not her own kids, critical of me, refused to go to therapy again or communicate needs no matter how many times I asked. I used porn regularly because she literally stank, and I was not interested in being close to her. Then the marriage ended, I met new women, and didn't need porn hardly at all for a few years.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 09:36 PM
3

My gf watches porn. I'm somehow unbothered. Weird. If you have self-doubt over your partner watching porn, that isn't real, that's a you problem. Projecting your insecurities on others is always the best way to navigate relationships /s. Take care of yourself, eat right, be healthy. If it still falls apart, at least you are more likely to be physically healthy and it had nothing to do with that. Respect yourself and porn won't mean anything. You'll also be ready to meet new people and not be fak…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 09:23 PM
5

You are just caught up in the what ifs. Fact of the matter is you split for a reason. Doesn't matter what she looks like now or what your dreams were for the future. None of that matters and it wasn't real. You have feelings for the idea, not the person and part of you is realizing that. Your brain has your memories, but now sees her and they don't jive because it's been long enough to take the rose colored glasses off and see her as just another person. I've had that happen and been like wtf di…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 03:41 PM
4

Disagree. I'm 42 and don't look much different than I did at 25, just a bit older in spots. I eat decent, get exercise, etc. Why would I stay with someone that didn't do at least close to the same? Different strokes for different folks, but for me, I'm not into people that just give up. Being married and now divorced, I'd rather die alone in the wilderness than be with someone I'm not attracted to. At least op wife helps around the house, my ex didn't even do that. I think there's probably a bit…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 02:19 PM
7

Probably temporary resolution. Once those breakup threats start rolling in, that door never fully closes. She probably cooled off and remembered you are paying the mortgage. Proceed with extreme caution imo.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 03:28 AM
1

She constantly talked to me in ways that sort of implied I didn't know what I was doing or wasn't capable of things. She bullied my daughter in a similar way. She got fat. She didn't do anything around the house but make messes. She got in deep with her weird church people. She was just all sorts of wrong, but in ways that were never concrete enough for me to see it clearly as a severe problem.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 10:43 PM
2

Not at all. She gained 40lbs and was lazy af. Quit going to therapy. Didn't clean up after herself, didn't engage with her own kids much except for pics to show her family, she literally stank, dressed like she just gave up, she wasn't nice to my daughter anymore. 34 years old, acted like she was 65. I wasn't even attracted to her for months leading up to the split. Good riddance
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 10:43 PM
1

Tell her ok and then go get a lawyer. Get your ducks in a row while she thinks she's free to do whatever she's been planning.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 11:56 AM
9

If you think giving in will make her stop, you may as well just skip the country to somewhere she can't take a significant chunk of your wages the next 7 years. I didn't have kids with my ex, she made more money than me, etc and still dragged the divorce out for 3 years and STILL slanders me 2 years after that to everyone she knows and as her "abusive ex husband" in her tik tok videos. That she's now a survivor of domestic abuse... I never even raised my voice once in the 5 years we were togethe…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 04:07 AM
17

This reads like fantasy. It's just too scripted sounding, almost like you watched a pick up artist video and then came up with it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 01:02 PM
3

If you are 14, there's no way your younger sister is wedging herself between your parents. Kids can scheme and try to manipulate, but she's just a kid. Your mom is a grown adult. I can't say more without jumping to conjecture, but my dad was a piece of shit. He'd treat my mom like crap and she'd lean on me for support, and at 14, I was between them, trying to explain to my dad why what he said or did hurt everyone. My dad blamed me a lot as a result. Your mom might be confiding in your sister ab…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/25 12:55 PM
30

Every time I open reddit and check this sub, there's a new post exactly like this from someone. This is exactly why I'll never ever remarry. It's also unfortunate because you cannot tell someone this is the reason you will never remarry, they all say and think they'd never do such things, but out of all the divorces I've seen in person and read online, I can only think of a few that didn't follow this exact template. I'm not a betting man, but if I was, I'd never put all my chips on 10% odds of …
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 04:08 PM
9

Future advice if you do get back out there, hypotheticals like that are not healthy behaviors. Huge red flag
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 09:50 PM
4

Your lawyer sounds like my ex wife's lawyer. She'd lie and make up fake screenshots and all sorts of stuff. My lawyer would dismantle it cool as a cucumber and her lawyer, who didn't know she was lying, would just stumble over trying to explain what she was doing and had no clue what to say. My lawyer saved my ass more than a few times. Get a better lawyer. Find that lawyer that is stone cold, straight to business, smooth, and well spoken and knows the law and court structure like the back of th…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/25 01:50 PM
1

She's here to get dudes to look up her onlyfans. Which is hilarious. Why would I subscribe to an obese woman's onlyfans after she came here to blame the guy in a sub where most of us are divorced from that very type of person?
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 11:19 PM
17

My ex wife has started yet another joke of a business. She starts a new one every year or so that all fail because she's lazy with them. She makes daily tiktoks, sometimes 3 or 4 a day, about whatever social justice thing she thinks will get her attention, but even after 4 years, that hasn't grown much either. She blamed me for everything, called me financially abusive when she's lazy, blows money like its water, gambles, who knows what else. It's not even just her though. All my long term partn…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 12:15 PM
19

This sounds made up. Lost everything, but gained it back and now you are rich? How convenient.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 12:48 PM
3

This is why I did some serial dating after my split. I stopped taking relationships seriously. If one girl started acting off, I moved on to the next. Sometimes, I was dating 2 at the same time. I told them I wasn't in a hurry, that I wasn't looking for anything serious, but still open to the option down the road. I met a lot of women, had a lot of experiences, some good, some bad. I've now been in a relationship for a while, and it's definitely had some bumps, but it's stuck longer than the oth…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 01:00 PM
1

I already know that, that's my point, I wouldn't want you at all, I don't NEED you at all. I'm very content without someone like you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 02:33 PM
3

If he's brown skinned, this dude is screwed 6 ways from Sunday no matter who files first. All she has to do is make one phone call and he's going to el Salvador.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 02:21 PM
2

I hope you aren't in the US right now... I would be way more worried about ICE knocking on your door than your cbd use.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 02:18 PM
13

This one, I'm seeing pretty massive denial along the entire way. You were stoned on weed, not CBD, all the time, and she wasn't attracted to that. A lot of that stuff smells like skunk ass, and scent is a huge factor in attraction. Did you even try gummies? Actual CBD doesn't do shit for my back pain, no way you weren't getting cbd without THC for those effects. You took little to no part in finances and let her run everything? Also not attractive to a partner. She's clearly bad with money, but …
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 02:16 PM
15

Awe, you really think it's all going to raise the kids, that's cute
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 06:27 PM
12

Does she really think you'll choose her over your flesh and blood? My ex wife started being more hostile towards my daughter after we got married. It was a big factor in me finally telling her to knock it off and then she just moved out. I'd tell her "sorry, I've realized that this really isn't working for either of us" and block across all media. Nothing you can do will change her core feelings so no point beating a dead horse
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 08:00 PM
9

What the fuck do I need you for? I cook, clean, work, can find fwb's or heck, just some decent porn. I have my house, my hobbies, my money, my work. I have my cake and eat it too. Getting divorced was the best conclusion to the dumbest decision I ever made.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 10:30 PM
9

100%. I don't care how perfect they seem, I will never put myself in that position again.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 02:01 AM
2

Lol you think that's bad? I never cared if she changed her name, but when we were together, my ex somehow changed her actual birth certificate. She changed her first, middle, and last name... so there's this person I pretend no longer exists running around with my great grandmother's name as her middle name and my last name as her last name like it's totally normal.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 07:03 AM
3

Same almost happened to me except mine didn't even file because it was so fake with zero evidence. My lawyer laughed at it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 01:31 PM
9

Sounds like time for therapy to address some stuff you still are dealing with?
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 09:19 PM
9

Your attorney said nothing they can do? Uh can they not file contempt of court for violating the court order??? Heck probably grounds to sue for the missing amount if you cannot get it sorted with the IRS. My ex took me to court 3 times for contempt over stuff I had zero control over claiming I was violating the orders. It was tossed out as I had proof it was all delays during covid, but you get the idea. It still cost me a grand in lawyer fees and shit each time to defend myself. Your attorney …
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 09:00 PM
8

This. My ex has been dumped hard more than once since we split. Dudes have told her point blank that she's a crazy selfish bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 12:07 PM
6

What I did was find new stuff to watch until a good bit of time passed. Then, periodically test the waters, watch some of that stuff and see how it goes. If it's not too bad on the memories train, watch more and more. Rewrite the memories you had together with new memories you did by yourself or with someone new. Do it over and over until the old memories are nothing but just a faded memory.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 06:44 AM
1

Women get away with it all the time. And it's exactly why you start taking out cash... which is what they typically do as well. I use cash for loads of stuff anyway, less fees, gets more discounts, etc
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 03:14 PM
3

I found the single dad thing got women interested, but if you are actually doing the real single dad thing, then they back off because they want to have your kids, not be a step mom to the ones you already have. I'm betting you only see your kids half time at best.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 01:01 PM
2

Did he not see it coming? I think I'd have started moving stuff into cash reserves as soon as things started looking bad. Like oh, looks like I spent an extra 400 on groceries this month etc. Cash out the 401k and make some "bad investments". Then when divorce is filed, be like oh that dang Nigerian prince scam really got me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 05:50 PM
2

She's stacking the deck, file soon, file fast, get a lawyer if you can and a good one.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 01:47 PM
6

This. What the heck is this though? I've been with more women in 3 years post divorce than the rest of my life combined, but it's really just meh
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 07:03 PM
7

Always blows me away how little thought people put into what a potential kid will face as they grow up. The whole wishy washy maybe I do maybe I don't, you better be sure because the kid isn't the one asking to be brought into your world. My dad didn't want kids but wanted my mom who wanted kids and he was a shitty father figure.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 03:33 AM
14

Ace is the place with the helpful hardware folks
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 03:38 PM
5

My ex changed her gender two years after we got together, zero warning for two years. You haven't even gotten to know who she really is yet, but this money ask is a huge clue.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 12:36 PM
1

That was me in 2020. She got me to go into business with her and then we split a month later after one mild argument about her treating me like I was stupid. I had invested every dollar I had into the business. When she left, I had to turn a brand new business into a full time job that could pay the bills or close shop and find a job somehow. Lots and lots of details led to keeping the business and surviving, but it's been bad. The divorce was extremely expensive, if my parents hadn't helped, I'…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 08:57 PM
2

Turns out, offing oneself is much scarier than even looking at losing everything. I chickened out every time lol glad about that now at least.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 03:43 PM
3

Sounds like me! 2022 was the worst year of my life. Almost ended it a few times
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 03:21 PM
3

That was 2020-2023 for me. It was a long year lol. lost a lot including my sanity, no exaggeration. Developed a weird panic disorder towards financial fears in 2022 where my cheese literally slips off the cracker if I don't slow my brain down. Any time finances get tight, I start getting shaky buzzy dizzy feelings. 2024 has actually been my first ok-ish year for everything but money
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 03:20 PM
7

They sound like bottom feeder level people, gossips. After my divorce, I had a good amount of support from people around me. I also met more women in a few months than I had in most of my prior life. It was like a new door suddenly opened because my ex messed me up so much, I just didn't care anymore. You'll get there once you manage to start clawing back out of the hole you are currently in. It's like starting from scratch, but even less than scratch
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 04:32 AM
1

That. I know a couple women that don't even work or work very little and usually only when the baby daddy is out of work and can't pay the child support. They don't have any real cares, kids really aren't that hard to raise/ take care of if you don't need to earn the money
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 02:29 PM
2

It's always crazy to me that she gets, for free, what a lot of us don't even make in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 10:27 PM
4

Block her and do not unblock her for any reason full stop. It removes these questions and games from the equation. Communicate through lawyers if you need to hash anything out. Anything she does from here out is irrelevant. She's not your wife anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 01:35 PM
3

Best possible outcome for me. My marriage was killing me after only 4 years.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 12:33 PM
8

I don't even make 3700/month....
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 09:49 PM
2

As an aside, I'm always surprised how many guys will date a woman STILL IN THE SAME HOUSE as her ex... that is just wild to me. I could had women refuse to date me because the paperwork wasn't finalized due to covid lockdowns and my ex dragging things out for 3 years.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 02:27 PM
2

That last sentence is pretty much it. I lost who I was trying to be a husband once. I've seen too many friends go that way too. I'd rather die alone.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 03:35 PM
4

I've used the uno reverse card for this. I watch for the signs and if she starts acting checked out at all and refuses to acknowledge it or why she's doing it, I'm out. I'm not playing those games so they can have time to plan and prepare the most beneficial to them exit. I'm currently starting to step into this boat again with my gf. I can tell something is up, but she never communicates. She has asked why I stopped doing certain things and I've said because she never acknowledges any enjoyment…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 08:55 PM
7

What's funny is I've yet to have dated a single woman that will come directly out and talk about problems. They hedge around things or simply never bring it up until it's far too late to resolve. I've told women off over it, like wtf did you think being silent was gonna fix? I'm not a mind reader.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 08:49 PM
11

Don't get married again obviously. I'm one and done and tell every partner this right up front. My current gf said I originally said I was not opposed to the idea and I said that doesn't make sense since I see zero benefit to marriage after having done it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 08:44 PM
5

Wait, what things went missing? Was she selling stuff or moving them into storage/ new residence?
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 08:42 PM
2

Probably need to make sure the state is a single party state? Or does it not matter if you are recording a spouse?
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 04:49 AM
1

You... you have a really scary notion that the courts will care about you being a sahd or that they'll side with you at all. You REALLY need to plan this out a lot more carefully before reality bitch slaps you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 04:48 AM
1

Is new York a single party recording state? I would record at least all audio while you are home for the day when she files a restraining order on you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 04:46 AM
3

Some have been better, some worse. I'm more confident than I ever was with my ex though, so even the bad ones just kinda bounced off my exterior. Current gf has said things like she normally gets bored of partners pretty fast, but not me, so in my mind, it's only a matter of time. The irony is I'm the one getting bored.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 05:10 AM
3

The ex could be pulling the whole "he's happy with someone else??? Time to win him back" thing. Watch them reconcile and split in a year or less and he starts messaging you about how he messed up, thought she changed, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 11:53 AM
11

I wish I had found this reddit before/ during my divorce and not way later at the end of it. Grieve the woman you married being lost, but now it's time for you to fulfill your side of the stereotype. Go to the gym, eat better, take care of yourself. Maybe look into therapy. Avoid getting into any serious relationships for a while. I screwed up on the last two. My divorce really changed me. I'm turning 41 this year, and a year and a half after my 3 year long divorce, I'm about as good of physical…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 03:18 PM
2

I didn't read all of that, but this reminds me of the other day, I remembered when my ex was telling everyone she could, including up to 5 tiktok videos a day, how she was a victim of financial abuse because I was unemployed for~8 months and she was the sole provider. She had military disability, never has to work another day in her life, 4k/month tax free for life. I had chronic debilitating migraines (turns out that was because of her somehow) at least twice a week yet I was still cleaning, co…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 02:20 AM
7

The kids are either going to come around or not and it could be tomorrow or ten years from now or never at all. At their age, they aren't going to like you a whole lot even without the divorce and ex talking smack, especially if you were the stay at home dad, primary parent. All the resentment from childhood will be aimed at you. If the youngest is 15, you have 3 years of child support to survive. Be as good a dad as you can be and let the rest of the chips fall where they may at this point. If …
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 04:21 PM
7

Mine did this too, even went to the women's domestic violence shelter the day she left. They tried to write up a restraining order, but her evidence was "he once got mad at a neighbor two years ago and clearly has anger issues". Needless to say, my lawyer laughed about it and it went nowhere. The people that believed her harassed me and my business for a couple months and then poof, they all went like a fart in the wind
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 09:46 PM
6

I've had women flake, then match me again months later and not even remember who I was or that they flaked the last time. They have so many options, it all just blends together. Super low effort on their end.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 05:41 PM
13

The exhaustion is real. I'm almost two years post final paperwork being finished from a two year long divorce and just cannot quite muster the same energy for relationships that I used to. I've dated a handful of other crappy people after my ex left, which only exacerbated the issue. I just don't really care much anymore. Even my current gf, when I asked her to pitch in on cooking/dishes said something that I'm still chewing on. That I just want some house wife to do all my cleaning and cooking.…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 05:22 PM
12

This sounds fake. It reads like a guy validating himself through the ex. He was the best she ever had and will have, but she had to leave him anyways. What.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 01:55 PM
2

Probably because narcissism is common, but sits on a spectrum. Some people are narcissistic, but not narcissists. Some people are far more narcissistic than others and some are dyed in the wool narcissists. It's easy to spot narcissistic behaviors in a break up when emotions are raw, or more in self reflection and looking back at events through a different lens My ex lied and manipulated everything for 5 years. She hid debts, debt she didn't even dump on my in the divorce and hid what it was, so…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 04:51 PM
9

Women always want us to be sensitive and communicate, but in my experiences, most of the time it gives them the "ick" if I've showed much emotion, especially sadness, fear, or anxiety.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 01:03 PM
2

36 years old, and together 3 years she suddenly says one day that she thinks she's pansexual. Like how tf does a person go their whole life not knowing what they are attracted to? I'm not anti-lgbtq, but it also just happened to coincide with her becoming an intern minister at this uber liberal fellowship. After we split, she had her breasts completely removed too. Said she never liked them when I distinctly remember her getting excited that they got bigger when she put on 30lbs. The 5 years I k…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 10:28 PM
1

Nope, she kinda lost her marbles or something. Legally changed her name, decided to be a minister, suddenly was agender and pansexual, on and on. She's got about every diagnosis under the sun and was treating me and my daughter poorly. The first time I said enough and she needed to stop treating us like we were dumb etc, she moved out. Tried to ruin me along the way, but screenshots don't lie so nobody paid attention to her outside me getting dragged into court multiple times. That's the short v…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 10:20 PM
2

No alimony, she's financially set for life, plus we were only together 5 years
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 04:04 PM
2

I got out of my marriage pretty easy, no kids no alimony, only together 5 years. Still cost me about 50k+ after attorney, court costs, refinancing my house to get her off the mortgage, etc
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 11:45 PM
7

Moment of lucid clarity or post party come down. She probably on a come down from whatever issues/ drugs she's got and in her feels. Really cheesy lines, almost sounds like the I love you man drunk person stuff. I wouldn't even respond
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 12:27 AM
3

Took 3 years for me, but not even because I missed her, more trying to heal from what she did
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 02:33 AM
2

You are just rage baiting people aren't you. I bet you aren't even divorced, probably never married. This reads like red pill fantasy posts. Low effort troll
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 04:40 AM
9

Isn't this kinda how it's always been in a lot of European countries, and heck, around the world where homes are multi-generational? Sounds more like you are bitter that you were no longer the hero in the story. This whole thing reads as really narcissistic. "I was the hero, the rock, the shoulder, the income for this undeserving lump" you sound like my ex wife, who was a manipulating liar.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 06:56 PM
21

I didn't establish and maintain healthy boundaries and my independence.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 07:37 PM
2

They are just basic animals, practically livestock. Watch animal videos, there's always some other weaker male trying to sneak in with the females. From lizards to lions.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 01:55 PM
2

It's in your head. I get almost there and then thoughts pop in my head and distracts me just enough to lose focus. It's especially bad if I'm having an off day or not extremely attracted to the woman I'm with. Everything else functions fine. I was seeing someone I was really really into though and had ZERO issues with her. Unfortunately, it didn't last. It does get better over time unless you meet someone that screws with your head in some way
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 02:58 PM
4

Your first mistake was dropping your order. Now you've got one on your record that will follow you for how long in any setting where a background check is done? Either we are missing a big part of what you've done in this story or you are setting yourself up for the biggest losses of your life. Say she's got the order still in place, offers to get back together, you show up. At any point she gets mad, she calls the cops and you get arrested for violating the order. None of what you are doing is …
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 01:34 PM
1

Mainly, protect yourself. Controlling people come up with stuff you'd never even dream was possible, especially once they know things are about to fall apart.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 01:08 PM
3

100%. After my ex got more involved with them, she suddenly came out as pansexual and then Agender. Changed her legal name.. it got far weirder than just my divorce and the reasons behind it. Universal Unitarians are like a cult
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 01:06 PM
3

Get off reddit, talk to a divorce attorney. See what your options are where you live. DO NOT TIP YOUR HAND. If she feels slighted, that type of person will find a way to get you put in jail. You need to stop fighting asap, get yourself straight in every possible way, get a paper trail started. No scheming, just build a folder of issues. Talk to the attorney. Watch out for her recoding anything, cropping texts you send that could be altered. My ex wife used the onscreen keyboard to make one of my…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 11:54 PM
7

My ex was an intern minister and one day came home saying reverend Julie was agreeing with her on things that were happening in our relationship and that Reverend Julie was not only her teacher, but life counselor in becoming a minister. After my ex filed for divorce shortly after, I messaged Reverend Julie to not interfere in people's marriages in the future as her own family was screwed up top to bottom and she had zero qualifications to counsel on the subject. That my ex was using her as an e…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 11:28 PM
7

That's the dumbest breakup line. This isn't a you problem outside all the red flags you probably missed. Date more, worry less about finding the next wife. This feels like you are still raw from the divorce and are trying to find someone that fills that void. 14 months? It's a year long relationship, not a baby. A year is nothing at our age. You know what I did after my divorce? Dated someone new every week to every couple months for about 2 years. I gained a lot of perspective on dating and wom…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 11:43 AM
6

Phrasing!
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 09:51 PM
0

Still, if that's the desire, file first. The roads still all lead to the same end point. Fucking around along the way just delays and then adds drama
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 09:09 PM
7

You should have contacted an attorney, gotten everything drawn up, and divorced your wife first. You took the long route to the same destination because you wanted your cake as long as possible before manning up and doing what needed to be done. The outcome is the same so you didn't do it for your kids or family even if that's what you've told yourself. I can't really commiserate with you on this one. In the future, don't drag stuff out. There's no point, things still end the same but it's up to…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 03:46 PM
9

Wait, why would her leaving and not your leaving disrupt the kids? Do you not do any parenting?
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 02:09 AM
2

Maybe it's intentional denial then? Most dudes are not subtle and to miss that intention, you would have to have your fingers in your ears and eyes closed
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 03:29 AM
2

Oh they know. There's no way they don't. The risk of getting away with it is just too intoxicating. There's all sorts of dopamine and excitement in cheating, and then it's the feeling that they are improving their life somehow. They drink their own kool-aid, but they definitely still know.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 11:26 AM
3

Talk to a divorce attorney, get your ducks lined up first. Then have the big conversation with her. That way, if things go south, you'll have some amount of security. If she thinks her behavior is appropriate, then so is talking to an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 11:20 AM
10

Should have never gotten married, but I'm sure you know that now. Lack of sexual compatibility, among other things, spills into other parts of a relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 11:38 PM
1

Don't plan on getting married again. Why would anyone risk it a second time is beyond me. I tell every longer term partner I will never sign that paper again. I'll be loyal, but marriage is off the table forever. Most women don't seem to mind
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 05:19 AM
3

Gray rock, block and move on. My ex put on 40lbs, never cleaned, was lazy af, all but ignored her own kids unless they benefitted her at the moment, all within a few months of getting married. 4 years of misery. I hooked up with so many women after she moved out when I thought I was stuck and wasting away for years.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 05:17 AM
1

Not all adhd is hyperactive. I know I lose interest in a similar fashion. I don't get wired, at least not anymore, but I get distracted all the time and it's really hard to stay focused on something unless I find it interesting.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 01:00 PM
1

The dopamine isn't there. You are probably just bored and your brain is itching for variety. That comes and goes in long term anything for a lot of people. The brain wants those excitement chemicals. The oxytocin and bonding hormones and such hold it at bay, but not always. Do you have adhd or anything like that?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 07:16 PM
1

This is why I never ever will ever include my significant other in any discussion about my mental health. If things ever fall apart, that is the first thing they use against you. Doesn't matter how long you've been with someone, people change, sometimes abruptly
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 01:17 PM
3

She played you. That's why you loved her and felt you could be your true self with her. That was all scripted and designed to make you feel like she was your world. Once a person like that finally has that control, they get bored and fuck someone else, but they still want to keep that control over you. The ex is probably another guy she's strung along. Imagine the shit she told him about you, that your dick is small or you aren't a good father or who knows what stories she came up with. I've bee…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:27 PM
1

Be honest if with them if you are just looking for a hookup or something more. The amount of stupid miscommunication I ran into because of miscommunication... otherwise, don't overthink it. Loosen up, try to make them happy even if it's a one nighter. Brush up reading on techniques and again, don't stress. Worst case it doesn't go great and she doesn't ask to see you again. Life goes on, meet the next one. The 3 years after my divorce, I slept with more people than all the years before her combi…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 10:45 PM
2

Side note, that mouse experiment was bullshit. I breed mice and there's a recessive gene that causes them to have shiny coats and I've found a lot of them don't breed. It takes generations for enough to be born to have a significant population with the gene.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 09:59 AM
1

My ex did the contempt of court thing too. Must be in the manual they follow. She lied every single time, I proved she lied, but it still cost me a grand every court date. She made so many accusations about abuse publicly that my attorney wrote it into the divorce decree to put a stop to it. She was the abuser for 4 years. I was pretty much suicidal for a lot of that time.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 09:52 AM
3

Losing a long term partner like that, it's the equivalent of a death. You gotta mourn, clear out the old memories, make new memories. I tend to bond pretty hard and making new memories is the hardest part. Right down to cooking similar foods and using similar dishes, floods of memories come back, but that's all gone. She's not the person you married, she's not your confidante, that person is dead and gone forever. Having kids together makes it that much harder to process. Therapy, forcing yourse…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 12:25 PM
2

Not me, there was zero benefit to getting married. I'm older now, kids aren't in my future anymore, I have less patience for stupid relationship drama. Never signing that paper again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 03:21 AM
2

The more I've dated, the more I've lived, I've realized 95% of people are the same. There's like 4 or 5 types of women on average. They vary a bit, but most follow the exact same structure. My current gf is VERY similar to my ex. Less lies, but personality is almost spot on. It's bizarre, I don't even look for them. They are the same right down to being fit and active the first 6-8 months and then both gained 30lbs+ in the next 6 months.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 03:20 AM
6

This is why breaks are stupid. Just split up and be done. If I'm annoyed with someone enough to separate/ go on break and go sleep with other people, it's over. Say you get back together, that hookup could end up being years of jealousy or who knows what. No thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 01:31 PM
2

I regretted my marriage, getting divorced was the best thing, even if my ex went nuclear. I haven't missed her bs one single day since she left. By year 4, I was physically sick all the time, weekly migraines, we were broke because she lied about all kinds of stuff. I will NEVER marry someone again.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 07:08 PM
1

My ex even went to a women's domestic violence shelter... in 5 years I never even raised my voice. They assisted her in writing the petition and in two pages, all they came up with were two or three times I was gruff. She ended up not filing or something which was lucky. My daughter, 16 at the time, made the mistake of airing all the abuse she put my daughter through. 11 Facebook posts over an hour and she took out a restraining order against my daughter because she claimed my daughter was threa…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 01:19 PM
2

My ex made dozens of tiktoks that I am a narcissist. She wouldn't let me have friends over unless she vetted them first, hid debt, lectured me for two hours straight for not asking permission to buy a 30 dollar snake (already had 3), lectured me for two hours for buying agates (that I later sold for profit) after giving me the go ahead, lied and hid things constantly, was sneakily verbally abusive to my daughter, fawns over her one kid that she can use for attention while ignoring the other one,…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 05:24 AM
3

You didn't lose her. After my divorce, I was more sad about the time I wasted, the time I lost with my biological daughter than her non-biological step mom screwed up with 4 years of shitty behavior towards her that I wasn't able to put a stop to. Sunk cost fallacy and all that. My ex also left and tried to ruin me. She couldn't get me on a TRO, but she definitely tried. She was able to get one against my daughter after my daughter confronted her on Facebook about how she abused my daughter ment…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 01:13 PM
4

My ex tried the whole domestic violence by financial abuse because I was unemployed putting together the business we opened together. Later she said I was verbally abusive because I got mad once in 2018 and then again when she was moving out. She even enlisted a women's dv shelter to help her. It was sickening. Absolutely do not give her an inch because she's seeing you as an enemy right now and I don't doubt she would kill that dog if it meant beating you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 04:26 PM
6

Nope! I married one and it was pretty much the same except things fell apart not long after I didn't want another kid.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 07:46 AM
5

The number of people I personally know that got divorced 3-7 years after having kids is pretty much all of them except 2 couples. 2 couples in around 15+ years that are still together. This one recently, they seemed bullet proof, best friends for ten years. Finally had a kid, divorced 4 years later. Made me realize I never want another kid nor that white picket fence sham. My only luck was never marrying my kid's bio mom and getting full custody.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 07:32 AM
7

That happened to me last week! Took my dog hiking and when I was coming back to my car, my ex was parked right next to me. I haven't seen her since court. It was really weird.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 02:35 PM
1

Unless she wants you to still pay for everything. Having money doesn't preclude someone from being a gold digger
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 05:57 PM
3

No kidding on costs there... my ex duped me into spending all my savings on a joint business, filed for divorce a month later when I was broke and only had the business to rely on. Then took me to court to try and make me pay for the mortgage even though she was still making 4k/month tax free from disability. She lost and was ordered to pay half for 4 months, but instead, she put the house in forbearance... right before covid lockdowns hit. I spent the next two years trying to get it out of forb…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 05:55 PM
3

I've been watching this happen with my wife, also since she turned 29. She's changed physically and mentally so much. We are having some sort of conversation this afternoon actually that I think might be the end of things. 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/20 06:21 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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