wolfstar76 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
0	the step-"dad" walking the daughter down the aisle along the bio father has to be a humiliation ritual As others have pointed out - you definitely seem to be pretty "fresh" on the divorce path, or some recent hurt has come along, because this perspective feels very raw. So first off - take the time to feel what you feel. Process it. Healing goes faster when we accept and acknowledge our hurts. That said - when you've had a moment to reflect, and are ready to truly think and consider things... I'd encourage you to truly think about what your post is saying. I especially find "I:d rather not go to …	/r/Divorce_Men	23/11/23 03:04 AM
1	Is my 36F wife gaslighting me 35M and should I divorce her? Gaslit is probably overstating it. If you had the proof she cheated, and she declined the evidence exists, shed never heard of that guy, and told you that you were being irrational/crazy (turning herself into the victim along the way) - that would be more gaslight-y. There is a trust issue here however. When my ex-wife and I were first dating, we weren't exclusive. She lived two hours away, we were in our early 20's, no secrets. Fast forward a few years, we are at my folks' place for Thanksgivin…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/10/23 10:33 AM
2	She's Not Yours, Its Just Your Turn Long term relationships where either partner can cleanly walk away and avoid the mess we see on this sub where one party is all in and the other is not would probably the better choice if you don't want to go through the training and testing Agreed. At least, for me personally. I know several couples who appear to be well on-track to be those lifelong couples. I won't begrudge them that. No one should have to agree to stay in a terrible marriage or business partnership. Fully agree. I seem to ha…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/10/23 06:53 PM
2	She's Not Yours, Its Just Your Turn Glad you're on the same page. In fairness, it has taken me 46 years of life to ... go from thinking of a lot of these sorts of "good mental health" tidbits, and really ... living them all as a whole. While I've always leaned in this general direction - it's taken therapy, escaping some gaslighting, and personal growth to finally get here. But the view from here is wonderful, and meeting others who have similar views is always enriching. 🙂	/r/Divorce_Men	01/10/23 04:08 PM
2	She's Not Yours, Its Just Your Turn So let's ignore the fact that no one can control another person's emotions, I can't MAKE anyone happy, no one can MAKE me happy. Once we're well into adulthood, we come to realize (hopefully) that happiness is fundamentally a choice and often springs from a mindset of gratitude and good perspective. Let's pretend that we can MAKE other people happy. Acknowledged and agreed. We are, each of us, responsible for our own emotions. I don't believe (re-reading my post) I said anything to the contrary …	/r/Divorce_Men	01/10/23 03:59 PM
6	She's Not Yours, Its Just Your Turn This is probably going to be an unpopular post but... yes. This is true, and honestly? It's mostly true about anyone in your life. Anot just romantic interests, but friends, co-workers, etc. But more? Reverse this. You aren't/weren't hers, it was just her turn. Dating or married - it's the other person's turn for you to be theirs... for as long as you choose to allow it to be so. Ongoing consent is the key. It's also something we all tend to lose sight of in long-term relationships. It's easy to…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/10/23 11:55 AM
2	Why don't fathers tell sons not to get married? No sons here, but I have two daughters. I'm as honest with them about life as is age-appropriate. With a teen and a tween, that means they've started, in the last few years, to hear me speak honestly about my thoughts on life. They don't know about their mother being jealous over any woman who paid me attention, while I eventually learned she was seeing a co-worker behind my back. They don't know that I felt the need to seek attention and comfort from the women online (but never in person) she w…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/09/23 09:29 PM
2	Worried about her mental health I'm thrilled it's helpful! It was early morning, and insomnia has been all to regular a guest in my bedroom of late, so re-reading it now feels like I was repeating myself more than a little.... ...but I'm glad the core ideas provide you comfort. Stay strong, friend.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/09/23 08:44 PM
3	Worried about her mental health This is a hard one. But one of the hardest things I've had to learn in my own struggles with mental health is that each of us is responsible for our feelings, our mental health, and our actions. Outside of my formative/teenage years this has actually been pretty easy to apply to myself. If some random on the street is having a shit day, and calls me an asshole, it doesn't bother me, because I don't value his opinion, and don't internalize it. Eventually I realized the same is true for people who…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/09/23 09:56 AM
1	Did you ever feel like getting back together with ur ex? Nah. I actually should have left years - YEARS before we ended things. But...poor mental health is a thing. I knew I wasn't happy, but she told me all the time how happy she was, and how she didn't know what she'd do without me. So I settled for complacency. Mind you... the benefit of hindsight is I now realize what a gaslighting monster she was. No wonder I was in a poor headspace, because in addition to the above, I'd also regularly hear about how she was a strong independent woman, and she di…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/09/23 11:04 AM